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Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

Discussion in 'Questing' started by EnderofWorlds, May 7, 2013.

  1. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    Here's me trying to get back into the groove of GMing and quest making; don't expect regular updates from this rather silly quest


    You were bored.

    What? Well you were; it's not like there's anything to do here in this damn, um...whatever this place is. Fucking hell, you don't even know where you are. And not in the, "What country am I in?" sorta way; where you were drunk out of your fucking mind last night, only to end up doing a crapton of things you were going to regret in the morning. No, we're talking full blown "Am I even on a fucking plane right now?!" levels of confusion, to the point where your not even sure if any deity you know of has heard of this place.

    Fucking Throne of Heroes; throne your ass! There's nothing fucking here, nothing! Least of all a goddamn throne to sit on. Good Lord, when you hear the name 'Throne of Heroes' you expect something like Valhalla; a refuge of adventures of lore fighting and boozing it up, filled with buxom women to have sex with and impress with grand tales of your exploits! Not blank, white, oblivion. Fuck, was this punishment of some sort? Was Zeus still pissed you boinked Athena?! Oh c'mon; that was ages ago, and she came on to you!

    Dammit, you're not even sure if you're dead or not; the last you remember is sailing on your spelljammer ship, only to crash into some old guy fighting off some sorta demon that resides in the space between planes. You decided to help the old man out by pulling him onboard; after which he explained that the demon was called 'Nyarl-something', you don't remember, and that he needed to kill the damn thing. You decided, fuck it; why not? You then decide to help the poor bastard out.

    The battle is a blur, but you do remember shoving your rapier in the fucker's eye, blasting said rapier with as many lighting spells as you can, and ramming your ship into it's balls before having it blow the fuck up as the highlights of the whole thing. Then...you wake up in this desolate hellhole.

    ...By the gods this place is fucking boring! Is there nothing to do around here? Nothing at all?! Ok, yeah it's kinda cool that this place did somehow make you even more awesome, and these 'Noble Phantasm' thingies are pretty neat, but having nothing to do but rewatch your exploits is...really fucking dull.

    ...Wait; what was that? You pause, looking around for-there it is again! A pulse, incredibly faint but it's there. A call of some sort; but one that's sure as hell not meant for you. A call to leave this dreary realm for a purpose, a call...to adventure.

    Unfortunately, it's sure as hell isn't calling for your sorry ass. Fortunately, however...

    Defiance of Fate - From the Jaws of Defeat Comes Victory

    ...Ohhhh yeah; apparently being a lucky sonuvabitch gets you magic superpowers here. Because you've faced odds that have guaranteed your death, but have always come out on top; you now get to do it on command. Granted, you can't do it all the time, but hey; as if you're ever going to need to use this bad boy multiple times in a row, eh?

    Regardless, FREEDOM! Through the use of your Noble Phantasm, you escape from the Throne of Heroes and end up-

    ...In a shed. Next to some chick with blond hair apparently grabbing a make-believe sword and a red-headed kid who looks like he has no fucking clue as to what the hell is going on. And some jackass who thinks he can pull of wearing a jumpsuit and still be cool; by the way, he doesn't.

    Then you immediately get a revelation, or epiphany, or something like that. You turn to the boy and proclaim, "Worry not, young lad; for I am Tandem the Spoony! Servant Saber and Greatest Swordsman in the World! Adventurer and Minstrel Extraordinaire; wooer of women and slayer of dragons! I have come forth to do battle in the Holy Grail War; the battle to the death between heroes of yore, summoned by mages such as yourself, all for the grand prize of the Holy Grail. Which will grant to you your heart's desire!" You're not sure where or how you learned this stuff; but hey, as long as it doesn't try to fuck with your brain it's a-ok.

    The boy is flabbergasted at your rousing declaration; good to know you haven't lost your touch. You then turn to the other Servants, and say to the girl, "Alright; from what I can tell you're also a Saber, which means we're on the same side with the same Master. So I'll distract him while you-"

    You don't get to finish because the other Saber decides to hold her make-believe sword; which is very sharp and cold despite apparently not existing, and says to you, "I know not what trickery is this, but there can only be one Servant for each class, impostor. Regardless of us sharing the same Master; I will strike you down, for only one may claim the Grail as theirs. And it will not be a dishonorable trickster as yourself."

    Oh boy, you can definitely tell she's a Paladin; at least in temperament and personality. Those uptight bastards are all about honor and by the book goodness. Yeah, you were also a hero; but the uptight manner paladin's upheld the law always rubbed you the wrong way. Not to mention that sometimes you had to do some...less that moral actions in order to save the day. Also, those fuckers are as focused and immovable as a boulder when it comes to their goals, and if something's in their way it's bowled over by said boulder rolling them over. Best you can do is either get out of their way, or hopefully manage to guide their focus elsewhere.

    But judging by the looks of it, you sure as hell can't do the latter, and the former's not looking too good. You then hear jumpsuit man laugh, "Hahahahahaha! Oh man, I didn't expect to be able to fight two Sabers! All right, now this war's starting to heat up!"

    Great, a fucking battle junkie; no way for you to convince him to help you out. Not that you wanted to at this point, you were starting to think that he might...well, he might be playing for the other team. It's a standard thing for battle-starved warriors to not be as...picky with what they want to lay with, and that lance and jumpsuit of his were just telegraphing something off about him.

    This battle's about to start; and odds aren't looking to hot for you, you...
    [X] DODGE!!!!!!!!!!
    [X] Hone in on Lancer
    [X] Focus on Saber and her invisible, make-believe sword
    [X] Diplomacy? Hahaha...no
     
  2. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    Character Sheet:
    [​IMG]
    Servant Class: Saber
    True Name: Tandem the Spoony

    Parameters:
    Strength: C
    Agility: A
    Endurance: C
    Mana: B
    Luck: EX
    Noble Phantasm: A++

    Class Skills:
    Magic Resistance (B) – Cancel spells with a chant below three verses. Even if targeted by High-Thaumaturgy and Greater Rituals, it is difficult for him to be affected. This is bestowed and bolstered by a mantle he wears, if it were to be removed his rank in this skill would drastically drop.

    Riding (C) – Saber can ride normal beasts and vehicles with moderate skill.

    Personal Skills:
    Charisma (A+) – Saber is renown for his natural charisma and ability to deal with people with smooth-talking and non-violent tactics. At this point it is no longer popularity, but rather a kind of spell (curse) in itself; as witnessed by him being thrown off of Olympus by Zeus for having sex with Athena.

    Eye of the Mind (True) (B) – Heightened insight that was refined through experience. Capable of calm analysis of battle conditions even when in danger and deduce an appropriate course of action after considering all possibilities to escape from a predicament. So long there is even a 1% chance of a comeback, this ability greatly improves the chances of winning.

    Expert of Many Specializations (B+) – A skill that allows for access to and use of many expert skills; notable skills available to Tandem are: Bluff, Diplomacy, Bardic Lore, Bardic Magic, Arcane Magic, Sleight of Hand, Presence Concealment, Weapons Finesse, Item Creation, Use Magical Device, Discernment of the Poor, Disengage, and Disguise. All of these skills are B-Rank.

    Independent Action (A) – The ability to remain independent even when rejecting the prana supply from the Master. At the higher ranks, it is also possible to remain for extended periods of time in this world without an established contract. Tandem can remain in this world for a week even after losing his Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great prana consumption, back up from the Master is necessary.

    Noble Phantasms:
    Rumor to Reality - The Bluff Becomes Real
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: A++
    The crystallization of Tandem's claim to one of his most notable titles: Greatest Swordsman in the World. A mere boast which offended a Kensai, who challenged him to a duel shortly afterwards; being offended by this...fop declaring himself to being such a blademaster in front of one who dedicated his entire life to the blade. Due to sheer luck, Tandem won. However, in an attempt at revenge; the Kensai attempted to use this boast against him, trying to get Tandem killed by those offended by such a boast and slight at their own skill.

    But time and time again did Tandem the Spoony stand triumphant, to the point that everyone eventually believed him to be the Greatest Swordsman in the World. Even Tandem began to believe this, to an extent of course; knowing full well his skill wasn't as great as many believed.

    Instead of merely making Tandem into a master swordsman; it instead focus on the aspect of 'making a boast into reality'. It allows Tandem to make a boast about his skill and prowess, and then performing a Luck Check in addition to a Charisma Check (bolstered by his Bluff Skill) as to how effective the boast is. The more effective it is; the greater it takes effect and becomes real, to the point where if Tandem declared himself 'King of the World' and passed it, he would then be declared and believed to be as such by the World itself. However, the greater the claim, the harder it is to pass the check. Tandem will usually make his standard 'Greatest Swordsman' claim, in part because it's natural to him at this point, and also because it's the easiest boast the Noble Phantasm can accomplish

    Defiance of Fate - From the Jaws of Defeat Comes Victory
    Type: Anti-Unit
    Rank: EX
    The crystallization of Tandem's inability to be beaten, no matter how impossible the odds may be. Not once did Tandem lose in his adventures; he was forever triumphant in any quest he undertook. Be it dragons, gladiators, liches, or March Hares; he stood the victor. Usually by luck and chance smiling upon him. Even in lesser tasks, he was a luck man for which the odds would inevitably turn in favor of.

    By invoking this Noble Phantasm, Tandem can force an event; no matter how horribly stacked the odds are against him, to turn in his favor. While he may now know how it may happen, all he knows is that when this Noble Phantasm is active he'll be walking out the victor, usually better off than before. Once it has been invoked though, it has a random recharge time until it can be called upon again. Tandem doesn't know how, but when it's ready for use again; he'll know.

    There is also a lesser invocation that he can use even if the greater one is still recharging, in which he may randomly replace 1~4 of his parameters with his Luck stat. While he can choose which stat to bolster, the number of stats is always random.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2015
  3. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    Index:
    Part 1
    Part 2
    Part 3
    Part 4
    Part 5
    Part 6
    Part 7
    Part 8
    Part 9
    Part 10
    Part 11
    Part 12
    Part 13
    Part 14
    Part 15

    Omake:
    Story Time: Part 1

    Allies/Acquaintances:
    Shirou - Kid who summoned you; in over his head, but is your partner nonetheless. Wants to be a hero and seems to have the drive to make it happen. Seems to look up to you, and reminds you of your earlier years in a way.

    Shinji - Shirou's friend who's a prick and Rider's master. Your latest ally and currently worships the ground you walk on for introducing him to the Arcane Arts and Vanician Magic.

    Rider - Hot sexiness in a 5'8" package with lavender and kinky black wrapping. Cold, aloof, and sultry; you're gonna woo her and get her in your bed. No exceptions. You ally by virtue of being Shinji's Servant. Recently gotten closer to her by taking several deathblows for her and having a heartfelt conversation; also the eyes, she liked the compliments about the eyes.

    Cirno - One fine woman, who's definitely more than what she appears to be; probably inhuman, but not completely. Powerful as hell though. Seems to embody water and ice; the ocean to some extent. Thinks your funny.

    Green-haired Man - One of Cirno's friends; probably a druid of some sort, also probably not fully human and powerful as hell. Getting earth and nature vibes from him, akin to Cirno's 'ocean' vibes.

    Goldie - Friend of Cirno's. Motherfucker who out-charisma'd and was matching you note for note in the field of musical performance. While cocky, the two of you have a bond of sorts; one forged in the fires of ROCK! Heaven and Sky vibes to match the Earth and Sea vibes from the other two.

    Taiga - Crazy Eccentric teacher and guardian of Shirou, you started off on the wrong foot but eventually straightened things out. Probably good to mess with for laughs.

    Bazett - Former Master of Lancer; she's currently heartbroken at the death of her childhood hero and first love. Just recovered from the brink of death and got her arm back too. Doesn't seem to blame you for killing Lancer though, probably because of his dying words.

    Archer - Motherfucker tried to gimp your ass; he's gonna be toast when you finally meet him face to face.

    Deceased:
    Lancer - Motherfucker wants you dead; deader than dead, cadaveriffic even. Not much else to say on that...At the eve of his death, he saw that you were an ok guy; and he got one last good hit on you too. Gave you his armor, and asked you to look out for his former Master.
     
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  4. Hymn of Ragnarok

    Hymn of Ragnarok Well worn.

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    I...gah....whu?

    ....

    Spot on for Spoony. Not sure what the hell to do here, but damn if I won't keep an eye on this for a while. It's entertaining enough.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  5. Mr. Birdbird

    Mr. Birdbird Getting sticky.

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    [X]Dodge, Dodge, dodge the sharp implements of death!
     
  6. Biigoh

    Biigoh Primordial Tanuki Moderator

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    [X] Take a Red Spear from the back!
    - - [X] Fob it off on the Blue Swordgirl and let her take it from the front~
     
  7. FurikoMaru

    FurikoMaru Versed in the lewd.

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    ... Ender, would you consider bearing my child?

    [X] Focus on Saber and her invisible, make-believe sword

    Any chance to ruin that woman's day, I will take, regardless of how stupid I am for doing so.
     
  8. hunter09

    hunter09 Versed in the lewd.

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    [X] Hone in on Lancer
     
  9. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    Thanks, was trying to nail that. This is going to be more fun than serious; less drama and more humor.

    Maybe, lemme sleep on it. :p

    Also, you're running on the fumes of Defiance of Fate; make of that what you will...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  10. Hymn of Ragnarok

    Hymn of Ragnarok Well worn.

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    I whole heartedly approve of trying to skewer the premise of FSN and its plots as much as possible. Mock it. Mock everything. JUST TO PROVE YOU CAN!

    Although if you were really trying to channel Spoony, you wouldn't let silly things like canon and the actual facts of the story get in the way of your pre-concieved opinions. Fact checking is also optional.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  11. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    Bitch please; this was going off the rails the moment Tandem got here. Do remember just who Berserker is, and who he's related to...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  12. Hymn of Ragnarok

    Hymn of Ragnarok Well worn.

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    Ah. Ha. Hahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaa.....

    Oh this is gonna be good.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  13. MrGazzer

    MrGazzer Wabbit

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    "Saber, way is Beserker so focused on you!?"
    "I Think he's Heracles!"
    "WHY SHOULD THAT MATTER!?"
    "Well! It's a long story ya see it all started one da-"
    "MAKE IT SHORT!"
    "I DONE THE DIRTY WITH HIS HALF-SISTER! TALKING MIGHT BE A FREE ACTION BUT CAN WE GO BACK TO NOT DYING!?"
     
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  14. Robotninja

    Robotninja Connoisseur.

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    Replace Str score with our luck and focus on Lancer for now. Paladins don't backstab people.

    Also, why is our NP used? Actions taken in the throne are not relevant to a servant, as they are just copies. Unless we are the actual Heroic Spirit, in which case our stats should be far higher as they are fucking hardcore.
     
  15. useless101

    useless101 Doing Nothing, Nothing Doing.

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    [X] Bii's plan.

    Let's try to get them fighting each other rather than us.

    Ouch, Robot, as the first one to post saying the GM screwed up because Nasu-rules, you just became that guy for this thread. :))
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 30, 2014
  16. Fellgar

    Fellgar Connoisseur.

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    ... Wa what? HUH?!

    Spoony...

    WHAT HAVE YOU UNLEASHED!?

    [X] While running on the fumes of our Defiance of Fate lets go and turn Rumor to Reality by claiming we are the greatest, most powerful, and noblest King and Swordsman the world has ever seen. Then unleash the second part of our noble phantasm to boost our stats in this order.

    Strength
    Endurance
    Agility
    Mana

    -Edit-

    Edited the post since its late and I am *TIRED*.
     
  17. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    Short Answer: Look at how the NP works
    Long answer: The NP activated and manipulated and defied fate into getting you to the best possible result of your action 'getting out of the Throne of Heroes' by bootlegging you off of Saber's summoning, and because she isn't a legit Heroic Spirit you got put into the regular container. Saber got her container from her contract over that of the Grail instead, though it's still the exact same.

    1: You've kinda already did the traditional boast of being the 'Greatest Swordsman in the World'; so that's getting rolled and will take effect in the next update. Also from an OOC perspective not seeing the point of declaring yourself as what you want to here...
    2: Roll 1d4 first; then you get to decide what you boost.
     
  18. Fellgar

    Fellgar Connoisseur.

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    1. Ah.... How long do these boasts last? And am I right in assuming there is some kind of cool down period before we can make another boast?
    And as for the last part. To fuck with Gilgamesh mostly but also paladins are knights of a sort. By claiming Kingship we give ourself a lot of legitimacy, by claiming noble we are counter Sabers claim of trickster. Basically its an attempt to undermine all of the paladins points while empower ourselves. because if a paladin has no "right" to harm us they won't do so. General personal experience of mine from several D&D campaigns. Long story and funny one because of how I had my armor proofed against detection of alignment and never took it off. Managed to really mess with a kingdom...

    2. I don't know how to roll dice on this site so I was planning on letting someone else do that... The list was order of preference of how we rank up. I'll put in a Roll under spoony if that is fine?

    http://invisiblecastle.com/roller/view/4040090/

    2

    Okay. So Strength and Endurance. Our agility is already impressive and mana isn't necessary to effect this.
     
  19. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    As long as you want, and until you make a new one; though swapping one after another in a short timeframe really fucks with the chances of each consecutive one working out well. Best bet is to wait a day after making a boast to use the NP before switching it out.

    On the honor thing; while you may be honorable, there's nothing saying that the circumstances or whatever brought you here is. There's also the fact that when it's last master standing; it's still going to be you vs. Saber, and Saber wants to win in order to 'fix' her fallen kingdom. Were you under a different master an alliance would be possible; but since you're under the same the thought process is, 'I have to kill you eventually; might as well try to use the enemy Servant coming in to my advantage here'.

    Well if no one else disagrees on what two stats to pump; that'll do it.
     
  20. Robotninja

    Robotninja Connoisseur.

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    I doubt Saber will kill us when our back is turned, and outright expecting victory before counting all the other Servants out there is foolish.
     
  21. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    You mean just like how she wouldn't kill Shirou when offered the chance at the Grail? Because she does if your affection score in the game is too low.

    Make no mistake; when it comes to the Grail and her redemption, when the cards are truly down, all bets are off. You have a not so insignificant chance at robbing the Grail from her; because you both share the same master, and if things go down wrong her master may very well kill her off over you. At the end of the day, one of you is guaranteed to die; and given your roguish grin and charismatic talking and tone, she's not sure that it's her off the chopping block.

    You just became the greatest, most definite and obvious obstacle to the one chance at her redemption; she may not like it, but she will do what she has to in order to win.
     
  22. useless101

    useless101 Doing Nothing, Nothing Doing.

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    Yeah, I'd say boost agility, and more agility if we can, and use our now super high score to run rings around Saber and Lancer until one of them damages the other.

    It's not like they don't also want each other dead.

    On a totally unrelated and unimportant note, how capable of independent action are we? Like if, for instance, Shirou died here, and we had to go find another master before we faded out.
     
  23. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    You can't boost a stat twice; it has to be two separate stats.

    ...Derp; I thought there was something off with the Character Sheet. You have A-Rank independent action; you have a week until you need a new master.
     
  24. useless101

    useless101 Doing Nothing, Nothing Doing.

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    [X] Agility.
    [X] Endurance.

    Then lets play to our strengths, rather than try to shore up our weaknesses.

    Outmaneuver them, and then keep doing so. Even if we try to take them on directly, being not there when they strike and not stopping for anything sounds like the best bet for fighting these two.
     
  25. Pipeman

    Pipeman Well worn.

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    [X] Agility
    [X] Endurance

    Our objective should be to get out of this clusterfuck unharmed and these stats seem most suited to that.
     
  26. Malcolmo

    Malcolmo Insert custom title here

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    [X] Agility
    [X] Endurance
     
  27. Alexander

    Alexander That is not dead which can eternal lie

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    [X] Agility
    [X] Endurance

    I don't know who Tandem is but I like him already.

    Saber's a bitch :p

    Think we can persuade Shirou, with charisma and epic stories of our epic adventures, we're the real Saber and Saber-Arturia is a villainess in disguise? Shouldn't be too hard.
     
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  28. Pipeman

    Pipeman Well worn.

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    The damage an excaliblast to the face does is overrated, anyways.
     
  29. Biigoh

    Biigoh Primordial Tanuki Moderator

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    Shame dude's not a Rance-type character... Saber could always use a good dicking.
     
  30. EnderofWorlds

    EnderofWorlds Versed in the lewd.

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    7,685
    ...What part of 'He fucked Athena' are you missing here?!

    Tandem's a total ladies' man, he just knows that you gotta pick your battles; and trying to woo a chick dead set on killing you, consequences and honor be damned isn't a good idea.