Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

*looks at Lancer's Mana*

Huh. Well then. Guess Rider's would work on him.

I'll hold off on rolling for now though. EX Agility and Endurance are decent. Odds are in our favor to break even or improve, but aren't we still voting for a plan? Although I suppose even if we roll a one, it just means we keep Agility, Greatest Swordsman, and avoid getting hit.

....Well, okay, nobody's voting at all, we're just discussing. So how do you want to do this? Something Rihaku-esque and just play the best plan you see and let the dice fall where they may? Or see if people come back in to start voting, roll when the plan is decided. I wouldn't want someone to cry foul because I rolled dice and the lynchpin of someone else's plan fell through because Endurance was vital to their strategy.

 

Huh? Didn't I mention that the stat-boost wasn't permanent? That wore off a while ago, you're back on your A Agility and C Endurance.

I'll give it another hour, and if there's nothing really new I'll proceed with some IC planning and the beginning of the fight.

 

....Seriously?

Oh. Well. Fuck. I'll roll then, we don't want to go without.

[blockquote]Rolled 1d4 : 4, total 4[/blockquote]

Alright, cool.

 

YES! 4 for 4, max stats! MUCH more like it. We can use Excalibur properly with a max Strength stat plus Agility and Greatest Swordsman boast. We even get topped Mana for resisting Rider, Endurance with Mana for tanking and healing, dodging, and Luck.

Kickass.

 

Oh God...


I have to re-plan some things now...

 

....Sorry?

Geez, lesser invocation is still broken.

 

No, it's fine; I can still make this work. It just means some changes to Lancer's preparations for battle.

 

Hoo boy then. Well, at least we'll probably have some Interesting Times? Maybe legitimately impress Rider.

Hey, now's a perfect opportunity for Rider to pull her eyes and us to live up to our boast of looking in her eyes. "You just turned a man to stone just by glaring at him. I am so hard for some many reasons that aren't your eyes. Well, not the magic properties at least. Do the drapes match the windows and curtains?"

 

Done we now have 4 Stats at EX Rank? WTF!?! Lancer is dead period.

 

Wait wait. We have 4 stats in EX range.
We're basically a weaker version Gilgamesh right now.

 

It's definitely much more in our favor. Lancer could still win, Gae Bolg is pretty haxx, but he's not the type to go for efficient, min-max risk management like Archer.

Plus, Lancer is totally the type to pull a Taking You With me. He'd make a pretty good go at it too.

Also, depends on what prep Lancer makes. If he brings in Herakles as his second to the duel and Rider is forced to be ours....eheheheheheh. That'd be bad.

 

Shame that spamming excaliblasts would cause too much collateral damage.

As for what preperations Cu might have that prevent Rider from interfering, it could be some sort of duel enforcing stuff.
Although her eyes hitting both of us might not count as directly interfering.


I'd also like to take this time to point out how incredibly hax those 500 stats are.

A C stat has a numerical value of 30.
A C rank NP has a numerical value equaling that of a A ranked standard attack, which is 50.
A + singnifies the ability to temporarily double a stats numerical value.
A ++ triples, and a +++ quadruples temporarily.

Conversely an A rank NP either has a numerical value of 100 (around double of an A ranked standard attack) or 70 (an A rank standard attack + 20).
I'll assume the first to reduce our brokenness a bit.
Which means an A+++ ranked NP (the highest value the Grail system can understand) which allows one attack of 400 is weaker than a normal hit from us while buffed in this manner.
Every single attack we make is now the equivalent of an EX ranked NP (because an equivalent NP would be slightly above the Grail System's ability to comprehend).

Which makes our encounter with Herk so very fucking terrifying.

This is all from the wiki and the GM may decide to balance things, so take it with a grain of salt.

 

Since discussion has died down; I'll work on the update. However, because of family stuff; it might be delayed for a bit. Probably to late Saturday at the latest.

 

That's cool, take your time. Now that we have EX stats, I suspect there'd be less discussion about how to be tricky and more discussion of crushing Lancer beneath our heels.

 

Less cunningly brutal and more brutally cunning~

 

You guys know that we Can Dodge Gae bolg right?

Our Luck passes its Stat Check by a Stupid Amount.

 

I kind of want us to pull out Excalibur for this fight. Just because. That way if we need to activate it, it would be literally on hand and ready to be used.

And best of all? Greatest Swordsman in the world means we can use it even better then arturia had been doing~!

 

Nah~! It would be us familiarizing ourselves with the properties of the sword we had picked up~!

After all we don't know all its abilities yet. I wonder what happens if we thrust it forwards and call out its name~? >

 

EXALIBUR

*a Flag with the Words Tease pops out*

Herc be Trolling.

 

...Huh. With Endurance literally, what, four or six orders of magnitude higher than before? On top of God Hand? He really might be capable of tanking a full blast from Excalibur. Hell he might be capable of surviving Ea at that level.

 

True. But excalibur is still our best chance at being able to fight back against herc if he shows up. It would slow him down at least. And with EX mana? We might very well be able to fire it off a couple times~!

 

in b4 warp spasms and us having pissed him off to the level of gaining what Herc did when he saw us.

 

*Back from cousin's(?^) wedding*
Heroes are doing their best now and are preparing; please wait warmly until it's ready...

^[I think? Cousin first removed? Uncle? Hell if I know, fucking Asian families...]

 

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!

 

Well, first thing's first; you gotta buff yourself for the oncoming fight with Lancer, especially since as of now he will erase your sorry ass from existence by sheer hate alone. Or rip it off and feed it to you; whichever he feels is more painful and horrible to you. And frankly, you quite liked your sorry ass where it is; in tact and not in pain. So one again you draw upon the lesser power of Defiance of Fate, letting the power forged by your shattering of destiny enter you and...

...Woah; oh wow, holy crap did you feel good. You didn't notice it last time, but damn. You felt stronger, faster, tougher; simply better, beyond a hundredfold! You think you can beat down every warrior and fighter you've ever met and still keep going strong.

...Herc still made you shit yourself, and you were an ant in comparison; so any delusions of grandeur were immediately erased as soon as the thought entered your mind. Not to mention that Lancer was trained by someone who became the concept of Victory. Yeah, you weren't going to assume that this was going to be a cakewalk for you by any means; still, you now had a fighting chance and some pretty good odds at winning. Now to make them even better...

"Rider," you call out her, "Your Noble Phantasm; does it have to be you to activate and use it, or can anyone use it if they had it. Like if you were to, lend it out, or something; would it work? Also, do you have any sort of passive skills that would hamper Lancer's ability to fight? Something that would work on him without actually targeting or focusing on him with an attack?'

Rider takes a moment to both take in exactly what you're asking for and whether or not it's possible. Reluctantly, she says, "...Yes, my Noble Phantasm can be used by someone else; I can activate it and have someone else use it to it's full potential. I also have a...skill that would do as you ask and reduce Lancer's physical prowess. However, I would prefer not to use either unless it was absolutely necessary."

"Oh that's fine; chances are that one way or another Lancer's gonna make sure this is a one-on-one fight, I just want an ace in the hole. If things go as well as I want them too you won't have to do anything." Rider seems to get less tense after hearing that.

Then you turn to Shirou, who looks worse than he did earlier, "And Shirou, I want you to-" Immediately, Shirou pukes his guts out, "...er, keep doing...that." Yeah, kid wasn't doing anything productive anytime soon.

Whelp, time to go lay down an ass-kickin'; or take one, but hopefully it'll be the former rather than the latter. You pick up Shirou and drape him over your shoulder, nod to Rider, and sprint off to the church.


The first thing that happens when you arrive to the church and the graveyard was Shirou sprinting and looking for a place to vomit. The second thing to happen is Shirou yelling out, "Hey, I found someone; and she needs help!"

You and Rider rush over to where he is and find him over a red-haired woman in a suit, missing an arm and near death. By all means she should've been dead, but something was keeping her alive; if just barely. Crap, on one hand you needed all the spells you had for the oncoming fight, but on the other; this woman needed help, and fast. And you just know what Shirou's gonna ask.

You sigh and tell Shirou, "I can't do a whole lot, and I can't fix her arm unless I have another one on had; but I can at least do this," using your Ring of Spell Storing you cast two greater healing spells and two lesser ones, "There, that should keep her alive and stable; I can do more tomorrow, when I have all my spells available and after I've healed up from the duel. You stay here and keep watch, Rider and I'll go further out and fight Lancer away from the two of you. Got it?"

Shirou nods and says, "I understand, I'll keep her safe. And Tandem?" The kid smiles slightly, "Thanks."

"I'm a hero kid, it's what I do." And with that, you head further into the graveyard with Rider. Enough time has passed between your planning and mockery of Lancer; it's time to settle the score.

You suddenly hear laughter; loud, raucous laughter. "Heh, and here I though you'd just pussy out like a little bitch," you turn to where you heard whoever was laughing and talking and see Lancer. He was wearing armor over his jumpsuit, and from your knowledge in spellcraft; you could tell it was enchanted up the wazoo. And he looks pissed.

"Oh, and before I forget; Ath nGabla," he stabs his spear into the ground, circling it around him, and four runes appear glowing with power, "There, now neither of us can run away or cheat by calling for help. Just you, me, and my spear up your ass."

On one hand, you've mocked the guy enough and are pretty sure you shouldn't mock him anymore. On the other hand, he just spoon-fed you this one, "Well, I guess it wasn't a woman you spent your last hours with; so: was it little Timmy or the Priest? Or both, and if so; which was better? I mean, pedophiles always confused the fuck outta me; so maybe this'll help me understand them a little more."

"Oh, and while you were giving it to him in the ass; did you tell the priest that you were probably gonna get him killed. I mean, as your Master; he should know about your shitty luck and the fact that it's going to get him killed."

Lancer's face becomes bestial; full of even more rage, fury and hate than it had the moment he laid eyes on you. You can hear his breathing, mainly because it was labored with anger and the last shred of restraint he had, "It already did; he's Master number two. Killed my first one; Luck of the FUCKING Irish, am I right?! Enough talk; it's killing time!"

He rushes you, and you barely counter his spear with your rapier. Whatever enchantments were on him were either powerful or numerous; or probably both, because he was almost matching you in strength and speed. And as the two of you were engaged in a dance of slashes and stabs; your superior skill just barely managing to put you ahead of him with grazing blows, you could tell it was going to take a deathblow to at least slow him down. Because right now you weren't even sure if one would even kill him.

As the fight wore on; you managed to get in some more damaging blows, but it still didn't slow him down. In fact, if you didn't know any better; it was making him stronger. But...that was impossible, right?

Before you could ponder it any further, you hear him say the name of his cursed spear and thrust it forward at your chest. You manage to dodge it, barely; but Gae Bolg's spearhead, glowing with runes, erupted in flaming ice. Or frozen flame; you couldn't tell and you really didn't care. Because it still both burned and froze your chest, as if you were hit by a fireball and a cone of colt at the same time.

You stumble from the unknown pain and barely manage to roll out of the way of another spear thrust, this one grazing your ribs. However, the moment it does so, you feel an immense stabbing pain from the wound. Thorns; just like in the legend, were stabbing and growing through the wound. It wasn't going any deeper though, so you could still fight on.

You jump back to get some breathing room, and time to think of what to do from here; when suddenly, Lancer thrusts his left hand forward and a massive gout of flame erupts forth from it. It was in the shape of a gigantic and terrible serpent, and even with Magic Resistance and high endurance you didn't like the odds of tanking that attack.

Thankfully, you can just teleport out of the way; but as you're about to do so, you notice that Rider's also in the blast radius of the attack. You don't think she can get out of the way in time, and she sure as hell can't endure through it.

What do you do?
[X]???

 

Huh, we've saved Bazett? Too late to earn points with Lancer though. Or rather, too late not to get off his shit list.

Damn but he did pretty good. Niiiiice. What to do, what to do....

Can we summon a monster on a dime fast enough to have it tank the blow for Rider?

 

Time for a little Q&A:

Endurance =/= God Hand; even with as high of an endurance as Herk, he can still be cut with a sword that can get past God Hand. Endurance is like real life physical endurance, so even with the high numbers treat it as such; don't start thinking that you can shrug off swords because you have 500 Endurance right now, because you can't. You can fight on, and it won't hurt as much nor be as damaging; but it's still a sword wound.

Also, the numbers are there to show off scale; NP Rank =/= Parameter Rank for any kind of comparison. I use them like Nasu uses them, as a semi-abstract yet grounded way of showing the scale of what these conflicts are like as well as how they compare to others like them: the Berserker/Spoony comparision was to show that he was fully capable of eating you for breakfast, that you were an ant to him.

This is exactly why I spit out the numbers and such; to get this feeling through. For Herk, I took his numerical stats and jacked them up to the 4th power; and then compared them to what you can get at your peak.

This means that no, Herk can't tank Ea or Excalibur; at best he may have parts of his head and torso not destroyed.

As you've just seen; dodging it is sorta hit and miss. For these big combat scenes I do the rolls with my personal dice and use them to guide the scene, but even with EX Luck you can be hit by it; it's just really fucking hard to be in terms of the curse.

No, that would be against the runes Lancer set up to make this mano-a-mano.
Also, with all of Lancer's armor with stat-boosting runes; his boosts come up to a total of ~320. So it's gonna be a close fight either way.

 

Lets see. Looking at the bard spell list
could we be able to use:
Hideous Laughter.
Perhaps Break Enchantment?
It also breaks curses.
Which the wound we have is.

 

Atch, right, the runes, forgot about that little trick.

Hmm. Dimension Door or two to get Rider out of the way, possibly get to her fast?