Chapter 33: Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
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"So Oni-san, our next target is Mongolia, right?"
"Blrrgggg…"
"He says yes." Yoshi translated from my side, "I have asked Sun Tzu and Qin Shi Huang for information about Mongolia, since it's their neighbor, and prepared an explanation."
She picked up the first paper of a small pile, gave it a cursory glance and nodded before putting it back. "Mongolia is under the control of the Great Khan Kublai Khan-"
"Wait the Great Kahn Kubai what?" I blinked, pulling my head up from the table, "That be the Kahn family?"
"Not exactly. Khan is their term for 'king' or 'ruler', while Great Khan is someone who hold the alliance of all other Khan, like an emperor." Yoshi explained. "When someone become a Khan they take it as their surname, as proof of their authority."
"Huh." Remembering my timeline… "Well that explains why they pulled a Rome in my timeline."
Nobu raised an eyebrow. "What exactly does 'pulling a Rome' even mean?"
"Well I mean, back in my timeline at least, most people have at least vaguely heard of the Mongols because these are the guys who conquered most of Asia if I recall." I waved my hands a bit, "Of course, when I say pulling a Rome I mean that they eventually grew too big that they couldn't hold themselves together, ended up with a succession crisis or something, and than promptly broke in on itself."
"Wait, are you saying bigger isn't always better?" Himiko asked with honest confusion.
Everyone looked at her with a blank stare.
I swiveled back to the meeting room, "Right, let's all pretend Himiko doesn't exist for the rest of this meeting."
And then it hit me.
"Wait was that an innuendo?"
"Apparently." Yoshi sighed, Nobu cackled, Himiko blushed and BenBen didn't get it. "Moving on, Mongolia is evenly matched in strength with their neighboring countries. This is due to two factors: the land itself is mostly made up of large plains, and their great focus on cavalry. It is said there are no better horses than the Mongolian ones, and this gives them unparalleled mobility. In fact it appears they don't settle in one place, but rather migrate at fixed intervals."
"Yeah if I remember correctly Mongolia was originally a bunch of migrating tribes that just so happened to get united than a country straight from the get go." I nodded, "Also I vaguely recall something about the Mongols actually being ahead of their time when it comes to military commanders and stuff but I don't know if that's applicable here."
"Well it seems Kublai is beloved by her people, just as much as Qin Shi Huang is beloved by her subjects." Yoshi nodded. "I don't know much about the quality of their military commanders, they have not go to war since the time of their unification a few generations ago, but it would not do to underestimate them. Mobility is their strong point, so to avoid being overwhelmed we have to remain calm and composed."
"Right," I nodded, "Himiko you can leave now. Nobu as well."
"Hey!" They both shouted.
"I haven't finished." Yoshi informed everyone with a raised tone. "Mongols also have a long-standing archery tradition, especially when riding horses. That will require we develop new strategies to counter it, since we never had to deal with archers that can move around so fast." She looked through the pile of papers again and pulled out one near the bottom. "One final thing: it seems that, recently, they've made a new ally. The intelligence is scarce, though, so we're not sure what kind of person they are…"
"Well if the pattern holds than they're probably bad news." Yeah, hm….
"I'll have Tadataka confirm it." She put back the paper. "This is the end of our current intelligence regarding Mongolia. Now we need to send a declaration of war and wait for the reply."
"Bleh."
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"Hey Himiko," I began as we walked through the streets, "When was the last time we actually went somewhere together with just the two of us?"
"It was...uhm...maybe...no...then when?" Himiko looked so focused I could almost see steam escaping her ears. "Too long, that's what! It's wonderful than our dream of world conquest is becoming a reality, but it eats all of our free time!" She fumed before smiling again. "We should make sure to enjoy those rare times. Is there anything you need, Oni-san?"
"Er, not that I can think of…" Hm, "What about you?"
"Uhm…"
"Rare items for sale!" A cheerful voice suddenly shouted. "Available nowhere else in the world! Premium, world-class, especially rare items for sale!"
"Rare items?! Premium!?" Himiko basically teleported to the stand where the voice came from.
"Aw shit- Himiko!" I yelled, rushing to get to her side before she did something stupid. I had to blink though when I saw who was manning the stand.
She had uh, green hair, a bright red short skirt, yellow stockings, and generally looked like she was thrown inside of a Macy's and just came out with whatever someone threw at her.
"Each and every item here is a rarity you won't see elsewhere." She boasted while holding up a vase. "Those kinds of beauties are only available here and now!"
"Ooooh!" Himiko's eyes were sparkling. "How much?"
"The prices, of course, are also premium. But they're definitely worth it. Like this mirror from Europe." She handed out a hand-held mirror to Himiko before turning to me with a smile. "Ah, that gentleman there. Does any of my wares interest you?"
"Hm…" I looked at the table, "Question: What makes your items premium?"
"Everything is master-crafted, and many of them are unique. Like this one." With some difficulty she lifted what looked like a greatly decorated block of metal, a red gem in the middle, and put it on the stand. "This belonged to a famous mage who could predict the future. It is said that, if you closely look into the gem, you will see a vision of your immediate future. Why do you not try it?"
"Mm…" There's no way you could predict the future that easily… "Ah, I just have a few questions first Miss…."
She smiled. "Marco Polo."
PFFT!
"Marco Polo?!" I yelled, reeling back. "As in the explorer?!"
"Oh, you have heard of me?" For some reason her smile looked...strained? "Going around the world is my hobby. An expensive one, that's why every now and then I sell some of the things I acquired in my travels."
Mmm…
Traveling around the world.
Expensive.
Money.
Cardboard Box.
Tama.
"So, you're doing this gig because you need the money?" I asked, looking at the thing much more interested. "Where'd you even get this from anyways?"
Hm just a little- MOVE
"FUCKING HELL!" I yelled instinctively as I moved to the side, I glanced back at the knife with the words 'Chen Miyafuji's Back' on it.
And of course my would be assassin was…
"I'm sorry did you seriously just try that in broad daylight?" I asked, voice a bit shaky. God that was close, "No really. Here. In the middle of a street. What made you think that was a good idea?"
Himiko screamed.
"Che!" She looked at me with utter loathing and disappointment before bolting in the opposite direction.
Aw shit uh…
I pointed to her and yelled to everybody on the street who was now looking at us, "Grab her!"
Many people still looked too shocked to move, but a few followed my command and ran after the girl. I of course also joined the chase, moving my body as fast as I could.
Come on…
Aw crap she's gone.
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"An assassin?!" Yoshi immediately began to check Himiko's body. "Are you hurt? Did it scratch you? Are you feeling unwell-"
I coughed, "Um, Yoshi. I'm the one who got attacked. Not Himiko."
"I am not worried about you. I know you've survived worse." is her quick reply.
"I feel like I should be insulted."
"Yoshitsune!" Himiko whined. "I am fine! Really! We should worry about Oni-san! That horrible, horrible woman almost, almost…"
"Look to the bright side. When assassins try to kill you it's a sign you're going far in life." Nobu tried to lighten the mood. "So, what happened exactly? Can you describe your assailant?"
"Marco Polo. I still can't believe Marco Polo of all people tried to assassinate me." I sighed, "Uh, long story short famous explorer, has bright green hair for some reason, tried to stab me in the back with a knife. The knife had my name on it, specifically 'Chen Miyafuji Back' written on it so it might've either been cursed or something. Maybe homing magic? I dunno, it clearly failed as I moved out of the way in time. She bailed after that- Wait does anyone know if she left her stuff behind? They might actually be sellable, if they aren't all duds."
"I'll check it later. I'm an expert in rare stuff." Nobu boasted. "Marco Polo, uh? It sounds European, and I swear I heard it somewhere before…"
"Oh yeah, it's european. No idea why she's out here in asia but like I said, Marco Polo's a famous explorer. She goes around the world on expeditions and stuff so you might've heard of her from one of those."
"I'm back! Good news everyone, I discovered the identity of the Mongols' new ally!" Tama entered the room.
"Marco Polo!" I yelled at her.
"Wow! You already knew? As expected of the Commander!" She looked clearly impressed. "It seems she was a famous spy for the EU, but one day she defected to Mongolia. The rumors say she's very very adept at assassination, and that she has the odd habit of killing her targets with a knife upon which she carved the name of the victim, especially the stabbed body part."
"A very adept assassin huh…" I put my hand to my chin and closed my eyes, the memory flowing back to me. I shivered before continuing, "Er, I mean she tried it in the middle of the street, in broad daylight as well, mmm…"
Now that I think about it, I wonder what that smile was about. A guilty conscious or annoyance at being known…
"Excuse me." A soldier announced. "There are two letters: one from Mongolia, and another from an unidentified sender."
"Let me see the one from Mongolia." Yoshi took the letter and opened it. "Uhm...Yes, it's the response to our declaration of war. Kublai Khan accepts the challenge, saying she waits for us on the plains of Xanadu." She hummed. "Clever. The plains are the perfect battlefield to use their famed cavalry."
Fucking Mongols and horses.
"Give me the other-no, wait." Nobu frowned. "After what happened this is suspicious. Call Seimei, I want her to check the letter for curses or whatnot."
I glanced at the pink haired woman, staring at her. "The fact that we thought the same thing scares me."
"Congratulations." She grinned. "Maybe you have hope to develop a brain after all."
"And maybe you have a- Aw shit I can't think of a good comeback."
Nobu grinned.
I was going to need practice to take revenge for this humiliating defeat.
Ten minutes later Sei finished her tests. "It's clear." She held out the letter to me after she had one of her Shikigami open it, smirking mischievously. "If someone studied outside of class you'd know that before I got here."
I flinched, "Ahahaha… Let's look at that letter!"
There were only two words: 'Next time'. Written in what suspiciously looked like blood.
"...Yeesh. Talk about killing two birds with one stone for the horror movie cliches. Who does she think she is, the villain in a slasher fic?"
"You survived. Some professional assassins see it as a stain upon their reputation." Nobu mused.
"Great now I'm going to have to put up with some final destination shit…" I sighed, "Okay is there anything else we should know about?"
"We obviously need to increase security. No one should be alone at any given time, so you must move around either in group or with some guards." Yoshi nodded. "Tama, I want you to track down this Marco Polo: if assassination is not possible, she may try to sabotage our advance in other ways."
"As you wish Yoshitsune-dono!" She made a military salute. "Permission to increase the ninja squad?"
"Granted."
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You know what sucks?
Being in school.
"Mongols' success in battle depend on several factors, which combine to make them an extremely effective force." Sun explained as she tapped a stick on a blackboard, the picture of an mounted archer drawn on it. "Can anyone guess them?"
Uh…
"Formation? Mobility? A good chain of command? Effective communication?" I guessed.
I dunno. I didn't even really know how I got here besides that Sun Tzu apparently decided that I was way too pathetic to go against the Mongols by myself and declared that she would give me a proper grasp of tactics 'Even if she had to beat it into my head'.
I may have paraphrased that a bit but you get the point.
"What Oni-san said." Himiko nodded. "And a lot of soldiers too, I guess."
"Uhm...I would say good logistics are also a factor." Shi added.
"Obviously they have a lot of strong fighters!" Lu put a fist into her palm, relishing her finally healed arm.
"The heavens favor the pious and the just." Ashoka put her palms together.
"Right, wrong, right, I guess so and that's debatable." Sun replied. "Now, this is all info collected from the time Mongols last waged war but it should still be valid. Tactically, Mongol mounted archers are deadly in battle: their horses allow them to stay out of reach of the enemy, while their composite bows can rain down accurate fire. When the enemy army is disorganized and broken up by the losses from the archery fire, the heavy cavalry charge in with lance and sword to finish the job. They are also extremely well-organized and disciplined: a Mongol general can rely on his troops to carry out complex plans involving encirclements, flanking maneuvers, and feigned retreats. On the strategic level, the Mongols are extremely mobile: soldiers have three or four horses each, allowing them to keep up a sustained movement rate far faster than an army traveling on foot, or even with a limited number of horses, could achieve. The Mongols are also used to living off the land, so they are not tied to a slow-moving supply train. Finally, they also recruit skilled people from other nations to cover their weak points, like building siege engines."
Sun cleaned the blackboard and drew an interrogative point. "Now, how do we counter all of this?" She asked while looking straight at me.
Um.
Um….
Honestly I didn't get half of that. Just gonna guess.
"Slow them down?"
"Yes." She nodded. "How?"
Ahahaha… Um, let's see…
Part of their big advantage in combat is their mobility which is granted to them by their horses but they also aren't restrained by slow supply lines due to living off the land but at the same time their horses also need to eat, especially since every soldier has three or four horses so a twenty man squad would have about uh, 3 times 20 is… 60 horses at the minimum so I guess you'd want to… "Force them into a surrounding area that makes their horses a liability?"
"Good! Very good!" She praised me with a smile. "The most obvious method is to use the terrain to your advantage. The Mongol army is best suited to the steppes, where there is plenty of grass for their horses to graze on and wide, open spaces for them to carry out the broad outflanking moves they excelled at. In deserts, jungles, mountains, or thick forests, their mobility would be limited, their horses would suffer, and they could be tied down to a fixed point and defeated. Of course, since we're going to fight them in their territories that is a bit difficult to achieve…" She mumbled before perking up. "The basic tactics are to shoot at inferior archers, charge at superior archers and keep your flanks protected. Our army should consist of at least two lines so any enemy who attempt to envelop the first line will get trapped between the two, and if they attempt to envelop both lines they will overstretch their own. The first line should consist of foot archers and gunners to shoot at the lightly armoured mounted archers, and once they have been consumed enough and their ranks thinned, the second line should then charge-"
She continued on and on, talking about different things like pikes, shields and even forced horse pregnancy. What?
…"I could still remember when I met him for the first time. The boy in the rain who would one day be king."...
...The knight in black and red held up a crystal white blade, glistening in the moonlight. "I swear to you this Lancelot, this time Camalot will fall!"...
…"The Blade of Arthur Pendragon will be mine! As the 455th iteration, I will wield Caliburn for the sake of my love-"
"Woah!" I yelled, moving to the side as Sun's stick attempted to whack me on the head.
"Pay attention." She chided me, "This will all be on the test."
"There's a test?!"
"There is always a test." Shi and Lu nodded.
"But what if what you do before the test is the real test?" I paused as Sun looked at me, "...Himiko said it not me."
"I didn't!" Said girl protested.
I scrambled to move as Sun tried to whack me with her stick again.
Yeesh! Guess I shouldn't daydream in class.
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Notes:
Chen: I think that's the first time I ever pulled out that military strategist thing on demand.
Alex: You may have an unexpected talent in this. Maybe you have a Chinese general as an ancestor?
Chen: ...I hate to say it but knowing my family's history that's actually fucking possible.
