Chapter 35: The Movie Night
Colorado Springs, Colorado, United States of America, Earth, September 19th, 1998
"I had expected something larger," Catra said after they had arrived at O'Neill's house. "This doesn't look like much." His car didn't have a minibar; another disappointment, but she had complained about that on the way already. She got out and stretched.
"Catra!" Adora hissed as she joined her.
"What? It's true! I expected something more impressive than a wooden hut." Catra sniffed.
"It's not a wooden hut!" Adora protested. "It's a… nice, little wooden house." She cocked her head and bit her lower lip. Anyone could tell that she was lying.
"It might not be much for a princess, but it's quite a nice house for Earth," O'Neill said. His smile showed a few too many teeth to be genuine, so Catra counted that as a win. Make her hide her tail, wear a stupid cap that squished her ears, would they?
"I still don't know why we can't just shoot anyone if they bother us," she muttered as the man opened the door to his house and ushered them inside. The interior looked as she expected from the shows she had seen. Which meant it wasn't impressive either.
"It's illegal," O'Neill told her as he closed the door. "I asked. Unless you're in Texas."
"We should hold this in Texas, then," Catra told him as she pulled the stupid cap off.
"Catra!" Adora hissed again.
"What? Do you know how uncomfortable this is?" Catra scowled at her, then pulled her tail out of her pants. "And if this fooled anyone, your spies are useless."
"It's not meant to fool spies," O'Neill told her. "It's meant to keep journalists from finding out about us."
"Can't we shoot them at least?" Catra said.
"Freedom of the press is a fundamental right in the United States."
Ah, Daniel was already here. As was Teal'c. Catra glared at the latter - the 'hat plan' was probably his fault.
Not that the big man was fazed. He nodded at her and Adora. "Greetings. I am very happy that you will be finally enjoying one of the finest pieces of Tau'ri storytelling."
"I'm sure George Lucas would be happy to hear this." O'Neill grinned. Before he could say anything else, the doorbell rang. "It's open!"
That would be Carter with Glimmer, Bow, Entrapta and Hordak. Catra couldn't help laughing when she saw how they had 'disguised' Hordak - he was wearing a long coat with a high collar and a hat that hid everything else of his head. How he could see where he was going was anyone's guess.
"Oh! Nice!" Entrapta looked around and beamed. "Is this a mobile house? Easy to disassemble, lightweight construction - do you fold it down for transport, or do you take it apart and then reconstruct it at the new location?"
"It's not a mobile home. It's a solid, perfectly fine American house," O'Neill replied.
"Really? All the other buildings we saw were much more solidly built." Entrapta cocked her head.
"It's a solid
American house," O'Neill repeated himself.
"I think my claws would cut straight through it," Catra said as she nosed around in the kitchen. "Do you have anything to drink?"
"Catra!"
"Beer and drinks are in the fridge."
Oh! The fridge was stuffed with meat, a bowl of some vegetable dish and drinks! Catra grabbed a beer and threw it to Adora, then grabbed one for herself.
"Adora, don't open it!" she heard Daniel yell.
"What? Why?"
"If you open it, it'll spray beer all over you."
"You just have to be careful," Catra told them as she flicked her bottle's cap off with her claws.
Adora scowled at her, then tried to open her bottle very carefully. She almost managed it but still needed a towel.
"Next time, aim the bottle at Catra," Glimmer commented.
"And spill beer all over Jack's house? I guess you never learned how to be a good guest," Catra shot back.
"Oh!" Glimmer scowled as she grabbed a beer as well.
"I think I could build a safe beer opener," Entrapta offered. "Do you have a workshop? And some spare engines?"
"Why don't we move to the garden?" O'Neill told her. "The grill should be ready by now, and the grass won't mind if you spill some beer, or coke, or anything else. And it's hidden from view."
"Alright!" Adora stood and headed out.
Catra finished her beer, then followed her and the others.
"You use… open fire to cook?" Hordak stared at the grill. "Is this some archaic ritual of hospitality?"
"Technically, it's not open fire - it's glowing coal," Entrapta told him. "But it was a fire first."
"How inefficient. And how do you control the temperature?"
"With great experience." O'Neill smiled rather toothily at Hordak. "And yes, it's a tradition in the United States."
"Well, there are some people who prefer electric grills," Daniel said. "Or gas."
"We don't speak about such blasphemy in this house." O'Neill frowned at him. "Without coal, it's not a barbecue."
"I think many would disagree about that, Jack. Gas grills are popular, and…"
Catra snickered as the two quarrelled, with Hordak giving his unwanted opinion every second sentence and Entrapta studying the grill. Maybe this would be more entertaining than she had expected.
*****
The nerve of some people! Gas grills! Electro grills! Jack O'Neill shook his head as he checked the heat on the grill - glowing coals, just as it was intended, thank you very much.
"I would have expected better of you, Daniel," he said, sighing as he took a step back. Time to grab the meat.
"What?" Daniel stared at him.
"I would have thought that you especially would be more respectful of my culture. Gas? Electro? Those are fighting words!"
"But…"
"So it is an archaic ritual of hospitality." And the alien warlord had to comment with a nod. "That explains the stubborn refusal to change to more advanced heating techniques."
Jack clenched his teeth as he stepped into his - perfectly solid and fine - house. He found Catra raiding his fridge for another beer. That was her… third? Jack hadn't kept count.
She grinned as she opened it. "So, grill's finally ready?"
"Yes." He started grabbing the first course.
"About time."
"A barbecue cannot be rushed," he told her.
She shrugged. "I'm sure Entrapta would manage to do it if we asked her to."
Jack shook his head. "The waiting and socialising is a crucial part of it."
"And that's why you had the fire prepared before we arrived?"
"One shouldn't wait too long," he said.
Catra made a snorting noise and took another sip from her bottle.
He couldn't help it. "Shouldn't overdo it," he said. "You don't want to become drunk early on." Or at all. He had seen young soldiers indulge too much at the first opportunity, and they generally had had half again her weight.
"I need stronger stuff to get drunk," she said. "Or more of this, but hogging all the beer would be rude."
She didn't offer to help him carry the meat. Jack wasn't quite sure how to feel about that - he would, as host, have refused her help anyway, but usually, people offered at least. Well, he certainly wouldn't comment.
A few minutes later, the meat was on the grill, and Jack joined the rest on the benches and lounge chairs in his garden. Catra was in Adora's lap, trying to fiddle with the blonde's top, while Adora tried to push her hands away without spilling her bottle. Entrapta was talking with Carter and Hordak about stuff that Jack didn't have to fake ignorance of, and Glimmer, Bow and Daniel were talking about history. With Teal'c - at least Jack's friend was nodding once to a comment of Daniel.
Jack almost felt bad for ruining the mood, but it was better to talk now, before everyone was buzzed and digesting large amounts of meat and watching Star Wars. He cleared his throat. "So, the first round should be ready in twenty or so." Plenty of time to discuss magical healing.
"Are you sure we can't use an accelerant to speed the cooking time up?" Entrapta asked. "Or cut the meat into tiny slices, which would cook faster?"
"Let's do it as the people here are used to," Glimmer told her. "They should know best since they have been doing this for a long time."
"Not so long - the country's barely two hundred years old," Bow commented, then grinned at the frown from Glimmer.
"Anyway," Jack raised his voice a little. "I wanted to discuss a thing. A potential problem."
"And you wanted to talk about it where we wouldn't be overheard by your superiors." Catra flashed her fangs in a wide grin. "I knew it! Pay up, Adora!" Well, Jack should have expected that she saw through his little ruse.
"We didn't make a bet! You just said you wanted to bet - I never agreed!"
Having them in a good mood is a good thing, Jack told himself as he cleared his throat again. "Well, yeah, it's a delicate topic. It's about healing. Magical healing. The thing you did to me when you saved my life."
"Oh?" Adora leaned forward, which made her put her chin on Catra's shoulder as the cat woman didn't move out of the way. "Were there complications? Do I need to heal you again?"
"No, no," Jack said. "Everything's fine. More than fine, actually - Dr Fraiser says my body's in peak condition, as good as a twenty-year-old's." Well, for a forty-year-old.
"Ah, good!" Adora beamed.
"Which is a problem," Catra said with a frown.
"What?" Adora gasped.
"A potential problem," Jack corrected her.
"You mean everyone will want to get healed," Glimmer said.
"More or less, yes," Jack said. "We've classified my medical information, so that should keep a lid on it." And he thought Fraiser might have gone the extra mile here. "But even if we manage to keep this detail secret, should you be able to heal Hawking, and I have no doubt that you could, you'll be swamped by the pleas of dying people all over the world. And people with incurable sicknesses." He didn't mention children. That would be counter-productive.
"Well, I can…"
"Six billion people's worth of terminal and incurable cases," Carter added, nodding at Adora.
"Oh." Adora closed her mouth.
"And professional athletes who want to get career-ending injuries healed." Daniel nodded. "Or just the rich and famous who want to skip weeks of rehab."
"You'd never have a minute's rest," Catra summed up.
"Well, I could just stick to the terminal people…" Adora bit her lower lip.
"Over a hundred thousand people die every day," Carter said. "Even if you healed one per second, you wouldn't be able to get them all."
"Oh."
*****
Over a hundred thousand people died every day! Adora hadn't considered just how many people lived on Earth. No, she couldn't heal so many people.
"Well, it would theoretically be possible if you had the ability to heal multiple people at once, but even then, you would need a way to gather all of them together, and that would require a huge logistical effort… Even with the whole fleet here, I'm not sure that we would manage to collect all of them…" Entrapta said.
"And you'd have to find them, first," Catra cut in.
"Yes!" Entrapta nodded. "Although that could be solved with enough bots, provided we could whip up scanners for the vital signs of people. Perhaps if we had a transport system keyed to such scanners, and…"
"Are you talking about constructing a permanent round the clock surveillance system that monitors every human on Earth?" Sam asked.
Entrapta blinked. "Effectively, yes. If you want to heal everyone who's dying, then that's what you need. And a transport system to match."
"And Adora not doing anything but healing the sick and wounded - not sleeping, not eating, not having fun with her friends, and not protecting anyone from the Goa'uld," Catra said with a scowl.
Adora winced. That sounded horrible. And not practical. But how could she be happy and have fun if people she could save were dying? How could she be so selfish? How could she… "Ow!"
Catra glared at her, her first - which had struck Adora's head - still raised. "Stop thinking stupid thoughts! You can't save everyone - and you can't save anyone if you kill yourself trying to save everyone! Have you forgotten your lessons about combat fatigue?"
"Of course not! If you are fighting, and even more if you are leading soldiers, you need you to be rested, or you'll make mistakes that might lose you the battle," Adora quoted from cadet training lessons.
"Same here, idiot - you can't heal everyone. You'll exhaust yourself long before you put a dent in all the sick and wounded," Catra said.
"Yes." Glimmer nodded with a very firm expression. "You couldn't heal every soldier in the Alliance, either, remember?"
"Well, no, but I was less experienced, and... OW!" Adora glared at Catra.
"I said no thinking stupid thoughts." Catra sniffed. "Besides, we need you in the war, not stuck on Earth exhausting yourself healing people who will be killed by the Goa'uld if we lose the war without you."
Adora opened her mouth to protest, but Bow cut her off: "Yes, Adora. You can't heal everyone, and you can do so much more. Besides, we can save more people if we teach them how to heal others. And improve their medical technology."
"As long as you don't turn the sick into zombies," Jack said. "I don't think that would go over well."
"Yes!" Entrapta nodded. "Proliferating healing technology should have a greater impact than Adora healing people - technology that anyone can use is always more effective than the efforts of single people, except for extraordinary circumstances."
"And Earth magic should help as well," Glimmer added. "Although teaching them decent healing spells would take years."
"You would know, Miss Sparkly Staff Swinger," Catra commented.
Adora pinched her. It wasn't Glimmer's fault that she hadn't had the time to learn many spells.
"Ow!" But Catra was smiling at Adora.
"Anyway, yes, you can't heal everyone," Jack said.
"But that doesn't mean I can't heal anyone," Adora protested.
"Dummy!" Catra frowned at her. "Didn't you listen? If the people on Earth know that you can heal, they'll mob you! They'll beg and plead and bribe you to heal them or their loved ones. And you'll have to tell them all no."
That sounded… Adora clenched her teeth. "But I can't just do nothing!"
"You have to," Jack told her. "Unless you want to be worshipped as a goddess on Earth."
"What?"
"Healing the sick? That's pretty much part and parcel of the gods," Jack explained.
"But…" Adora trailed off and sighed, wrapping her arms around Catra. "I don't want to let people die. And Hawking…"
"Well, we could disguise the source of limited healing as 'experimental technology'," Sam suggested. "But that would have to be very limited."
"Only those people whose continued existence would serve the war effort," Hordak said. "This Hawking sounds like he could be useful."
Adora glared at him. People shouldn't get healed just because they were useful!
But Glimmer was nodding - and Bow was as well!
"That would work," Glimmer said. "But not forever."
"Well, we won't stay on Earth forever," Bow pointed out. "Once we're back in space or on other planets, the problem, well, won't go away but won't be urgent."
"Adora can't be an idiot and kill herself healing others if there aren't too many people to be healed," Catra said.
"I'm not an idiot!"
"Yes, you are." Catra grinned. "My idiot," she added in a whisper.
Adora sighed, half-smiling against her will. Her friends wanted the best for her, and their arguments made sense, but… She hated letting people suffer when she could help. And when she couldn't help. And yet… "Alright," she mumbled.
"Finally!"
Catra didn't have to sound so smug, Adora thought with a pout.
"And the first round of steak is done. Who wants one?" Jack announced.
"Me!" Catra wriggled out of Adora's embrace before she could react. "Talking sense into Adora is hungry work!"
"Hey!"
*****
Samantha Carter had seen Star Wars before. Several times. She might not remember the whole movie verbatim, but she knew the plot very well, so she hadn't expected to be entertained by watching it again.
But watching it with the Etherians wasn't the same as watching it with the team.
"Oh! Bots! And look, a tiny bot! We need to build tiny bots!"
"They're droids."
"Thank you, Teal'c."
"Blond, naive and has a magic sword? Hm… that sounds familiar!"
"I wasn't a farmer. I was a cadet!"
"But… they're torturing her!"
"And that is why you don't talk if you're going to kill someone."
"Speaking from experience?"
"Their magic is lame."
"Is this how Earth's magic works?"
"That would still be lame."
"They blew up the planet? Even after she told them what they wanted to know? They're worse than Horde Prime!"
"We already knew that they're evil, Adora."
"But not how evil!"
"For supposed elite marksmen, those soldiers miss their targets far too often. At that distance, the two smugglers should be dead."
"Perhaps that was their Kyle squad? Kyle platoon?"
"How could they just fly away in their ship? If I were in charge, the entire guard shift on the Death Star would be court-martialed!"
"Catra! That's exactly what we did when we saved you from Horde Prime's flagship. Ask Adora if you don't believe me."
"Ah, it was a trap! And they fell for it!"
"That happens when you don't have sufficient ECM. This wouldn't work with Darla - I made sure of that. Unless we encounter an enemy with better technology than we have and better magic, we won't be tracked like that."
"But I think this tactic might be useful when fighting the Goa'uld. Although arranging a convincing escape might be difficult without sacrificing a few soldiers."
"Hordak! We don't do that kind of thing!"
"I am aware. That is why I said it would be difficult."
"Why doesn't he get out and throw the blaster bolts back at the enemy with his sword?"
"Luke can't jump through vacuum and cut ships apart, dummy!"
"He should be able to if he had a good spacesuit. I could build one with a jetpack!"
"They're letting Luke fly a fighter without having any experience? He'll crash it into the jungle!"
"He won't. He's a hero."
"That doesn't mean he can fly the thing. Remember how you crashed the skiff?"
"I didn't crash it - you crashed it!"
"No, you!"
"That's not how space combat works! Ships don't fly that way! Although if we take the gravity caused by the Death Star's mass into account… no, still doesn't work!"
"It's a movie, folks."
"The flight characteristics of the X-Wings fighters, Y-Wing fighters and TIE-Fighters were modelled after Tau'ri atmospheric craft used in their greatest war, more than fifty years ago. It was a deliberate aesthetic choice."
"Thank you, Teal'c."
"I told you Han would be back! He's a hero!"
"You didn't! You were all mopey, Adora!"
"Luke is the hero. Han is a scoundrel. No wonder Adora likes him."
"What do you mean, Glimmer?"
"Do I have to spell it out, Adora?"
"Hey! I wasn't a smuggler - I was a soldier!"
"So was Han Solo. He was dishonourably discharged after he helped Chewbacca."
"Thank you, Teal'c."
"Look at those torpedoes! They are super-agile - we need that as well!"
"They would need inertial compensators to be able to pull such manoeuvres. That would reduce their payload."
"We could make them bigger to compensate."
"Yes! There goes the Death Star!"
"I would court-martial the designer. And everyone involved in its construction. How could you build something with such an obvious weak spot?"
"Well, if this was the first Death Star they built, it was kind of a prototype, and such mistakes are expected. I had a lot of prototypes when I built bots."
"Why didn't Chewbacca get a medal?"
"The Princess was too small to put it on him."
"Catra!"
"She could have used a droid for that. I would have used my hair - and I think her hair would be long enough if it were magical."
Indeed, Sam thought as the credits appeared on the screen, this was a very entertaining experience.
The Colonel clapped his hands. "So, what do you think?"
Catra shrugged. "Not bad."
"Not bad?" Glimmer scoffed. "You were glued to the screen! You almost tore my head off when I talked in that scene!"
"So?"
"You loved it, didn't you?" Glimmer smirked.
Catra glared at her.
Adora coughed. "Well, it was a little… strong, in places."
Sam clenched her teeth. The Etherians had lived through similar situations - and the science fiction setting with fantasy elements including a princess would only make it look more, not less realistic. Her team hadn't thought about that.
"I found it very inspiring," Entrapta said with a smile.
"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "A few brave warriors fighting an evil Empire and winning against the odds - anyone would be inspired by this tale."
"I was more inspired by the technology!" Entrapta corrected him. "I've got so many new ideas!"
"Dibs on a lightsaber," Catra said.
"You want a sword?" Adora asked with a surprised expression.
"No, a lightsaber."
"Well, it should be possible, theoretically. But the power requirements would limit its use. Or make it too heavy to be used easily. And probably make it explode if it gets hit. Still… I think I could build one."
"Really?"
Sam blinked. How many had just said that?
*****
"Lightsabers are just laser swords. Sea Hawk has one."
Catra scoffed at Glimmer's claim. "That's not the same. Sea Hawk has a sword with a blade that can glow. But that's not a blade made out of energy. Or do you see Luke polishing his blade like Sea Hawk does?"
All her friends gave her a strange look. Catra rolled her eyes. "Not
that."
Adora blushed in that cute. flustered way of hers. "Sorry…"
"You are correct," Entrapta said. "Sea Hawk's sword isn't a lightsaber. Although I think it could be upgraded to offer similar functionality - though with some of the same issues as a lightsaber would have. The power demands would be much greater, which would cause some of the same issues, although you wouldn't need the same focusing and limiting mechanism. If you use the blade as a medium, you don't need an energy field to contain the plasma."
"So, it would still explode if it were hit?"
"Yes," Entrapta said. "The energy density of the power supply would just be too high to avoid that - unless you only want to use it for a few minutes."
"That wouldn't be enough for a battle," Catra said.
"Why would you need a lightsaber, anyway?" Daniel asked. "You have a magic sword. Or claws that can cut through armour."
"It is an elegant weapon of a more civilised age," Teal'c said. "I would like to use such a weapon in battle."
"But that wouldn't leverage your advantages in strength and mass," Glimmer pointed out.
"When facing other Jaffa, I may not have such advantages," Teal'c retorted.
"And it's a cool weapon!" Bow gushed. "I wonder if I could make lightarrows."
"Oh! They wouldn't have to be active for long - and exploding if containment is breached would be a bonus!" Entrapta said.
"But in order to get a significant blast out of a power cell, you'd have to make the arrow rather heavy," Hordak said.
"Unless we used anti-gravity generators."
"Are you planning to use a trebuchet to shoot the bolt?" Catra pointed out.
"No!" Bow said.
"That would be… no?" Entrapta looked disappointed.
"You know, the cultural impact of Star Wars is much greater than the inspirations for weapons. Or it should be," Daniel commented with a frown. "The themes of the movie resonated with a lot of people who would have dismissed a mere science fiction movie. Some consider it a fairy tale set in space. You know, with princesses, knights, dark lords…" He trailed off, looking a little sheepish. "I mean, for Earth, before we made contact with you, it was a fairy tale."
"Way to go, Daniel," O'Neill muttered under his breath, and the man blushed a little.
Catra cleared her throat. She had no intention to go over all the 'themes' - the Evil Empire already made her remember things she didn't like to think about. Like her life in the Horde. "So, how about we watch the next movie?"
"Right."
Good. Catra smiled and settled down on the carpet, leaning against Adora's legs, as Teal'c swapped the cassette for another.
"The next movie is widely seen as the best of the trilogy," Daniel commented.
Well, Catra thought, that remains to be seen.
"What a cute bot! Oh, no - they shot it!"
"This is a very effective strategy for automated interstellar recon. If we flood the enemy's system with stealth bots, the intel this would produce… the technological challenges would be easily met if we manage to miniaturise the FTL communication array…"
"Oh, no! The poor tauntan!"
"It's just a dumb animal. It's not as if he cut open Swift Wind, Adora."
"But it's so cruel! It carried him through the storm, to Luke, did its best, and now he kills it?"
"It would have died anyway."
"He just choked the man to death?"
Catra resisted the urge to reach for her own throat as she remembered almost suffocating when Hordak punished her.
"That's a very drastic way to deal with failure. Although I can understand the feeling."
"Hordak!"
Catra didn't look at him as Adora protested. She had gotten him back, anyway. Beat him. Not that it mattered in the end.
"Did you never want to kill a subordinate that made such a huge blunder in the Alliance?"
"Of course not! Right, Glimmer?"
"Shh. The invasion starts."
"Glimmer?"
"Shh!"
"Imperial walkers? Oh!"
"Don't tell me you're planning to build those!"
"What? No. Too unstable. And too slow. But they look nice! Perhaps we could build them as tiny bots?"
"Well, that was to be expected. If you have lower numbers and lower firepower, don't get into static battles." Catra scoffed.
"They had to gain time for the others to evacuate!"
"Should have had a better plan. Like buried explosives. Or decent artillery. They didn't even have good fixed defences. Hell, if they were about to sacrifice the troops anyway, strap them in those speeders, fill it up with a bomb and ram the walkers."
"Catra!"
"What?" The tactics shown weren't good. Anyone could see that.
"That's a very, very dense asteroid field. It must have been very recently formed, or it would have spread out - the Empire must have blown up a planet in the system! They have another Death Star!"
"I think they would need space suits for this, not just breathers. Unless this cave has an atmosphere somehow. Magic?"
"That's a huge monster. A really huge monster."
"I could take it. I think."
"You're She-Ra."
"Well, a sufficiently big bomb would kill the monster - especially if it swallows it without digesting it."
"Ew. Look at that swamp! Can you imagine the smell of it?"
"Yes, Glimmer."
"Oh, no, R2-D2!"
"That is Yoda?"
"It might just be a spy for the real Yoda. Like Hordak's spy."
"He reminds me of Madame Razz."
"Ugh, you're right, Adora."
"Vader? Here?"
"Yes! Off with his head!"
"Bah! That was just a dream!"
"I don't trust that guy."
"You don't trust anyone."
"He's too… see? He's a traitor!"
"Oh, no! How could they do this?"
"See? She loves him, not Luke! The scoundrel wins!"
"That doesn't look like winning, Catra."
"Well, it seems a rather ineffective alternative to stasis pods. Although the energy demands over time might be low enough to make it a better long-term storage method."
"We're not going to freeze people, Entrapta!"
"See? He wasn't a traitor!"
"He was a double traitor!" Like Double Trouble.
"You tell him, Luke! You…"
"..."
"Impossible! He can' be Luke's father!"
"Why would he cut off his son's hand? It must be a lie!"
"Why would he lie about this? And why would he make up such a lie?"
"I don't believe that Obi-Wan lied to Luke!"
Well, Catra could believe that. Very well. She glanced at Adora, who had a grim expression as well. Both knew about lying… people who raised you. Hordak looked grim as well - he would, of course.
And that was supposed to be the best movie of the trilogy? Who wanted to watch the heroes lose?
*****
"Well, now we absolutely have to watch the next movie!"
Jack O'Neill agreed with Adora's outburst. Not because he wanted to watch the movie - Teal'c was already moving - but he didn't want the Ethrians to dwell on the downer ending for too long. It was obvious that the movie hit quite a few of their buttons. The way Catra had almost touched her own throat when that Imperial Captain had been strangled, and the reaction to Darth Vader's revelation… Well, Jack had already known that they had some issues with betrayals. And he could definitely tell that 'need to know' would have to be carefully managed should they form an alliance with the United States - they wouldn't accept being kept out of the loop. Fortunately, they were all leading members of the Princess Alliance, so they should have the necessary clearances.
"Yes, I concur," Teal'c said. "While many consider 'The Empire Strikes Back' the best Star Wars movie, it does not have a happy ending. Although this follows the classic structure of a tale - the second act is often focused on challenges and problems before the third act offers the solution."
Teal'c's English lessons obviously had covered literature in more depth than Jack had expected.
"Way to spoil the ending!" Catra complained with a scowl. Although it looked a little fake to Jack. And Adora was clearly relieved there would be a happy ending. Same for Bow and Glimmer.
Well, they were all kids. Except for Hordak, and Jack didn't care about him, and Entrapta, who often acted like a kid. A kid who could nuke a country or planet if an experiment went wrong.
He opened another beer while the opening began.
"See! They have a second Death Star! That's where the asteroid field came from!"
"No, this is a different system."
"The Emperor is even eviler than Darth Vader?"
"Of course he is! Darth Vader would have killed him otherwise!"
"All that sand can't be good for the poor bots!"
"They are called droids in Star Wars."
"The sand is still not good for them. I hope they have enough lubricants."
"He just gave them to that… slug? Without even telling them? But… how could he be so cruel!"
"Well, did you see his clothes? He went all dark. Pretty sure he joined his father."
"Catra! They wouldn't have skipped that! And Luke wouldn't do that!"
"They could use a flashback to show it! And he just handed over the bots to Jabba!"
"I'm sure he has a good reason for it!"
"Dream on, Adora!"
"Shh!"
"Sorry!"
"Shh!"
"It… ate her. They fed the girl to a monster!"
"They shouldn't be trying to make a bargain with the slug! Just kill the real monster!"
"Oh, no! They captured Chewbacca!"
"That bounty hunter is crazy!"
"Or he's bluffing. But whether he was bluffing or crazy, it worked!"
"Oh! It's Leia! She went in to save her love!"
"Did you expect her to wait until Luke the Dark bought him?"
"Oh, no!"
"How dumb was that? Didn't she have anyone to watch her back? She makes Alliance missions look good!"
"Hey!"
"You know it's true!"
"Well, you did forget me once…"
"Those were special circumstances."
"Oh no! Poor Leia!"
"Well, that's a better costume than her armour."
"Catra!"
"Don't tell me it's not hot!"
"Slave Princess Leia is one of the most iconic visuals of the trilogy. Many fans love it and don similar costumes for events. It is also said to feature heavily in many teenage fantasies."
"Thank you, Teal'c."
"We should buy a set for Adora. I bet she'd look great in it!"
"Catra!"
"What? You would!"
"Oh, no - Luke is getting eaten by the monster!"
"Big loss."
"Oh no… that poor monster. Look at the man crying!"
"The monster ate the other girl."
"But it didn't know better. It's all the fault of Jabba!"
"Yes! And he tortures bots!"
"Robots are called droids in Star Wars."
"Oh! This must be magic - you wouldn't survive for a thousand years in its belly otherwise!"
"Why didn't anyone just drop a bomb down its maw?"
"So they won't kill the victims, duh!"
"Can they get them out?"
"They… Yes! Lightsaber time!"
"And there's the double traitor - is that triple traitor now?"
"And down goes the bounty hunter! Bon appetit!"
"Hah! Die, Jabba, die!"
"Killed by his own foolishness. He should have known better than handing his slaves such a handy weapon."
"Or he should have had better guards. I would have killed all of them myself for letting him out of their sights."
"Oh, the Emperor is small."
"And not wearing armour. That is foolish."
"He's got thousands of guards."
"They could easily betray him. Personal armour is of crucial importance."
"You would say that, of course."
"Darth Vader is his father!"
"How could they have lied to him?"
"They didn't tell him about his sister?"
"They separated them?"
"How cruel!"
"Those are supposed to be the good guys?"
"Leia is his sister? What?"
"Ew!"
"No wonder she loves Han."
"Ew."
Jack swallowed a comment. Yes, the Etherians didn't deal well with deceptions and betrayals.
"Han volunteered? Must still have brain damage from the freezer."
"He's a hero!"
"He should know better than trusting those kinds of plans."
"We need such bikes!"
"Catra! You just saw how dangerous they are!"
"Doesn't matter. We need such bikes. For… scouting or something."
"Bow! Not you too!"
"Cannibal furballs? Why doesn't Luke kill the monsters?"
"But they look cute!"
"And want to grill Han alive."
"Well…"
"What's Luke doing? He's acting like Adora!"
"Hey!"
"Well… he is?"
"Bow!"
"It's a trap! It's a trap!"
"Indeed."
"Those stormtroopers are garbage! Getting beaten by a few furballs with sticks and stones? Even Kyle would have done better than that!"
"Definitely."
Jack really needed to meet this Kyle.
"And the shield is gone! Bye-bye Death Star!"
"Luke's still on it!"
"Luke chose to head there."
"Hah! Die, Emperor, die!"
"A fitting end for him."
"Adora?"
"Uh, yes, a fitting end."
"That reminds me of…"
"We know, Entrapta."
"Oh, no… Darth Vader is dying?"
"Come on, heal him - use the force, Luke!"
"He can't heal him? Didn't they teach him anything?"
"And there is no spare armour. That's not good planning."
"Well… that's a happy ending, I guess."
"Darth Vader looks harmless without his armour."
"Indeed. He has become a force ghost."
"Ah."
The Etherians were rather subdued after the end credits started to roll, Jack noticed. Perhaps they should have picked another movie for this occasion.
*****
"So… I guess that was a happy ending," Adora said. All but Vader lived, but…
"You guess?" Catra raised her eyebrows, and her ears perked as she grinned at Adora.
"Well… It's commonly seen as a classic happy ending," Daniel said.
He had been unusually silent during the movies, Adora realised. He hadn't said even nearly as much as Teal'c. Was he not feeling well or something? Should she offer to heal him? Or was this some cultural taboo that she and her friends had just broken? Sam and Jack hadn't said much, either. And all three looked… concerned. Even tense. "Uh… should we have stayed silent during the movie?" she asked.
"What?" Now Daniel looked confused.
"Did we break a rule?" Adora explained.
"I think I remember something about shutting up in the theatre," Catra said. "But that's boring."
"Ah… technically, this isn't a theatre," Daniel said.
So, they should have stayed silent. "Sorry." Adora sighed.
"No, no - this is a private viewing!" Daniel quickly told her. "Reacting to the movie is perfectly acceptable. Especially amongst friends." He nodded several times.
"Ah."
"And you can observe our reactions better if we don't stay silent." Catra snorted and grinned, but there was an edge to her comment.
Daniel blushed a little. "Well, uh, I couldn't not observe your reactions."
They had been a little loud, hadn't they? Adora felt her cheeks heat up. "Sorry."
"Don't be sorry - this isn't a theatre full of hardcore fans," Jack said.
"Indeed." Teal'c nodded. "There is nothing wrong with expressing your passion when watching Star Wars."
"In private," Jack added.
They hadn't denied that they had observed their reactions.
"Anyway," Daniel went on, "the ending does match all the criteria for a classic happy ending. The protagonists survived, the hero and the heroine got together, evil was vanquished and justice and peace restored."
"Luke didn't get the girl, though," Catra said, grinning. "Then again, that would've been awkward."
"Catra!" Adora pouted at her lover.
"You're just annoyed that Luke wasn't the hero of the story."
"He so was!" Adora retorted.
"Arguably, Luke's the protagonist - we see his journey from farm boy to Jedi Knight," Daniel said. "A classic hero's journey."
"He is the hero destined to overthrow the evil empire and redeem his father," Teal'c commented.
"He's boring. Han's exciting. And sexy. Ask Leia." Catra was just trying to rile her up, Adora knew it. Then again, the movies had had scenes that cut a bit too close.
She glanced at Hordak and Entrapta. Hordak must have realised the parallels between Darth Vader and himself, down to the armour keeping them alive. But unlike Hordak, Darth Vader hadn't survived. And Entrapta couldn't have missed that, either. The two were huddled together, too, staring at…
…Entrapta's device? And discussing something?
"They're talking about new bots," Catra whispered as she slid into Adora's lap.
"Oh." Still, the movie had affected them. As it had Adora. Luke… there was just something to his 'journey'. Finding the sword of his father, facing the evil Darth Vader, trying to learn how to use his powers… Adora knew how that felt like. Being lied to by your mentor - she also knew exactly how that felt. And losing your… well, Shadow Weaver wasn't Darth Vader, but she had died in a similar way. Was Luke as conflicted about his father's death? Was he relieved as well, partially at least? And as ashamed to feel that way?
Of course, it could have been worse. Much worse. Shadow Weaver had been… Shadow Weaver. Adora remembered how she had felt on Horde Prime's flagship, holding Catra's lifeless body after that fall, thinking she had lost everything.
She wrapped an arm around Catra's waist and pulled her closer. She wouldn't lose her. She'd die before she would let that happen. Again.
"So, that's your favourite movie, Teal'c?" Bow asked,
"No, he hates it and just… Hey!" Catra started to say, but Adora interrupted her by bending forward and nuzzling her ear.
"Let it go," she whispered.
Catra wriggled in her lap in response and pouted but didn't needle Bow.
"It is an epic tale of heroism and triumph against evil," Teal'c said. "A corrupt Empire built on lies brought down by bravery and cunning. What better inspiration could you seek for our own struggle against the Goa'uld?"
"Well, I hope we won't have to cut it as close as the rebels did," Glimmer said. "And with a better plan."
"And more firepower," Catra added.
And without losing any of my friends, Adora thought.
"Well, the situation for us is different," Sam said. "We - if we combine our forces - have technological superiority and better doctrines for both space and ground fighting. And the Goa'uld are far less united than the Empire."
"Because we killed Ra a few years ago." Jack grinned. "They're busy stabbing each other in the back to see who gets the throne. But that window of opportunity won't last forever."
"Which is why we will strike as soon as possible," Glimmer said, nodding. "Once we solidify alliances and gather enough ground troops, we can go on the offensive."
Uh.oh. Adora knew where this was headed - and she didn't want to talk about politics or war. Not now. "So, did they make more movies?" she asked Teal'c. Catra snorted, but Adora didn't care that her attempt to change the subject was obvious.
"A few spin-offs," Daniel said. "But they were not, well…" He shrugged. "Not the same quality. And there are comics, novels and games. They are making a new movie - a prequel - but I think they stopped production and are considering redoing it or something."
"And don't forget the TV Christmas special!" Jack grinned.
Teal'c glared at him. "We do not talk about the Christmas Special."
*****
Adding cat-people would, of course, be the obvious choice.
