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drakensis's latest activity

  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    19th Striker being a restoration of a lost command could be made clearer Lexington & lackland sites are repeats. MML development is...
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    Please don't take this as saying I dislike your story, but this chapter has the same problem as previous ones: it's not one chapter, its...
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    Also, the scene of Ian's first council meeting is disjointed, I think the ending part may have been moved into the middle of the scene.
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    New Avalon Military Academy is on New Avalon. References to going from NAMA to New Avalon are therefore incorrect. You may mean Avalon...
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    To be clear, I am enjoying the story. Beta Readers do help a lot.
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    Two criticisms: 1. Wolf Dragoons do not exist at this time. 2. Repeatedly having the same events come up, whether in the same chapter...
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    There are some incidents such as Tomas Vale's return that are repeated - not word-for-word, but as events. It may be intentional, but...
  • drakensis
    drakensis replied to the thread Federated Suns Reforged.
    I find this a compelling read. There is one issue I found: you mention sending Northwind standards back there, but I found no prior...
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