Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

Pffft.

And here everyone was worried about Fugaku thinking we're a bad influence.

 

Oh damn. You got us all good.

We gotta go talk to Mikoto. Just for the shear Troll/lulz value, but I can't think of how to word it.

 

[X] Well. Shit.
-->[X] "DAD! I NEED HELP!"

 

Most Uchiha have a soft spot for sufficiently audacious criminals. Makes them nostalgic for the days of the Horde. 8)

 

It occurs to me I have no idea how Konoha handles marriages. I mean, Japan was patriarchal, so maybe the fathers would be needed? Yome-iri?

[X] Claim to Fugaku that obviously, as a mere Yamanaka, we are not worthy of the Uchiha heir. Our own honorable father would not be so crass as to attempt such an underhanded method of betrothal, and it is frankly insulting. And in any case, he should know very well that the Yamanaka have their own weak eye techniques (pupilless eyes), and have no interest for the complications of trying to mix two doujutsu together.

Worst case scenario? Spin a yarn about how we've already been promised in marriage to a lovely boy (/girl) from out of town no you wouldn't know him but he's totally ace very happy about things as they stand.

 

....Damn it, now I really wish we could save them. They're totally crooked cops, aren't they?



Asking our mother or father's kinda wasted unless we want them to take actions on our behalf. They already told us that they encourage marrying the one you love, like they did.

Fugaku is unlikely to listen to us unless we find a soft spot to appeal to, Mikoto...might, but we'd have to reveal our little deception. Might still be worth it.

 

Or they're a bunch of Zenigatas who miss the days of Lupins running around.

Sure it was annoying at the time, but ah, nostalgia~

 

Given Furiko has referenced the Uchiha Horde, I'm pretty sure Hymn's got it.

 

Yeah, I should have just said this outright.

One shout-out, Uchibi Sasuke.

 

The Konoha Military Police was so stuffed with Uchiha that it was disbanded after they died. Teenaged Sasuke could get caught red-handed selling coke to Konohamaru and it wouldn't affect his chances of one day being promoted to Police Chief at all.

Of course, as a tradeoff of this, the Uchiha have next to no judicial or executive power, something that pisses them right the fuck off.

And yes, that was indeed an Uchibi Sasuke shoutout, but corrupt-Uchiha-police-force was part of my headcanon from the moment I heard about the KMP.

 

You know, this makes me really tempted to vote to walk up to Fugaku and claim we have no intention at this point in time of marrying and our father is not angling for it.

The catch?

It's a multi-paragraph speech of sextuple and greater negative if which we gloriously meander around the subject, cover our ass, and essentially declare intent to corrupt Sasuke, turn him into a thief, and then help him become police chief so that we can not not only act with relative impunity within Konoha, but have him expunge our criminal record as a minor so that we can boast that we have a perfect record.

What? It totally counts! See, no record of any purported crimes which clearly do not exist. If you can't steal well enough to avoid being record, steal the evidence and record of your crimes.

 

Urgh It seems we will have to face the musik..
But directly talking with them might be hard so who is a intermediary that we could use here that is liked by everyone.


[x]Talk with Weasel about it.

And then we learn that Itachi wants that to happen because he thinks we will be good for his brother..

 

I could go for this.

 

With or without fluttering your Yamanaka-ichizoku tessen and smirking?

 

A better idea than talking?

Write the man a note. Leave it on his pillow, without him noticing.

 

I don't think we're quite that good yet...



But I'll get my brain percolating on a sufficiently absurd contradictory speech. If I come up with a good one, I'll share.

 

You! ;D Thank you, you gorgeous creature, for coming up with the perfect assist to my trolling efforts! *offers you a Singapore Sling*

 

Wait, we can actually pull this off already?

 

No, I was talking about that write-in that allowed me to a) make Sasuke experience a moment of pure panic, and b) judo flip your expectations in an amusing manner.

 

Actually we could do it.

We'd just need an accomplice.

Or 2...

 

[X] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!

 

Might be worth it to mention that if we were trying to start up that kind of relationship with Sasuke, Fugaku's reaction would be playing into our hands. Sasuke isn't interested in that sort of thing right now, but when he hits the age that he is, and enters a rebellious phase...

Think back to when you were a just entering your teens, and your parents tell you this boy/girl you know is bad news. Then imagine that the reason they don't like him/her is that this person is likely to be interested in doing things with you. Things that you have only recently taken an interest in.

Yeah, predictable result is predictable.

[X] Fugaku. Talk.
-[X] Emphasize we're interested in Sasuke as a future co-worker. That we know from studying older people that having certain kinds of relationship tension can be detrimental to the job, sometimes fatally so.
-[X] State quite strongly that we don't appreciate Fugaku's obvious reverse-psychology gambit, and he shouldn't be trying to set us up with his son.

I'm hoping for a really good expression on Fugaku's face.

 

[X] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!

 

That might be so if Fugaku wasn't Fugaku. He seems too much of a traditional 'Obey me!' father and clan head to go for this.

 

Why are people voting to ask our father whether he's trying to get us hitched? Answer's no, he's not. Earlier he was saying Yamanaka's marry to ones they love, so we can be pretty damn sure he isn't trying to set up our marriage.

 

Because, after asking this, he will sit down and discuss the entire situation with us.
It's only the lead-in for the discussion and the one offered by the GM at that.

 

My write in is not intended to imply we think dad is setting us up- Just to talk to him about the issue.

And... Honestly, that's mostly because I want to see how he reacts.

 

It amuses me to make a fixation on mental stability the hat of the Yamanaka clan.

 

[X] Fugaku. Talk.
-[X] Emphasize we're interested in Sasuke as a future co-worker. That we know from studying older people that having certain kinds of relationship tension can be detrimental to the job, sometimes fatally so.
-[X] State quite strongly that we don't appreciate Fugaku's obvious reverse-psychology gambit, and he shouldn't be trying to set us up with his son.

 

[X] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!