Cambodia bans human breast milk exports

http://www.dw.com/en/cambodia-bans-human-breast-milk-exports/a-38160693

This leaves me speechless. There's breast milk exports?

 

I never considered anything related to this. But am not really surprised that it exists.

It's a big world, and I'd expect at least a few people to be interested in something like that. And where there is a market, there likely are people who sell.

 

Seems to be a matter of pride and self-esteem than anything. Fair enough. I wonder if female humans breasts can, over generations, atrophy in a similar way to the appendix?

 

Actually, the problem is that a large amount of people are so dirt poor that they have to sell their breast milk instead of giving it to their children. This is, of course, infanticide and has been made illegal. The reason why people buy it is usually much more mundane: they simply can't produce any of their own and don't want to use substitutes (as they have often proved harmful to children).

 

So does Cambodia or the UN or whoever have any new jobs lined up for these formerly employed women? I'm sure they do right?

 

I get the feeling that this was supplementary income, and that they relied on their husbands for primary income.

 

I am not even sure how is possible to sell breast feed.

 

Seems like the same concept as a wet nurse, except minus the woman physically being there.

 

You milk yourself into a bottle or other container, usually with a pump. Same way you get milk from a cow, goat, sheep, etc. Then you sell the container.

It's just much less streamlined a practice than those others. Because a) without straight-up slavery you can't selectively breed humans for milk, repeatedly impregnate them to keep them producing, or forcibly take the milk away from the babies, b) even if you did practice slavery, humans make awful livestock due to our very slow maturation.

(As an aside, it somewhat irks me how people call human milk "breast milk". Milk from any animal comes from its breasts. That's kind of the definition.)

 

But human milk might be misread as humane milk and then some people would buy it thinking it was made by cows that live in humane conditions.

 

I'm pretty sure you're not going to accidentally run into the sorts of people who sell this stuff.

 

This isn't technically completely true, the platypus actually sweats milk as I understand it (through patches on the belly). Of course, the platypus is a weird-ass fucking creature, but the point remains .

 

Look man, platypuses are clearly the exception. To everything. If a god exists, it created the platypus explicitly as a way to thumb its nose at all the rules it set for other living creatures. They are precedent for exactly nothing.

 

It definitely feels like a case of "reality is stranger than fiction" - hell, the platypus somehow evolved... devolved(?) its own stomach. As in, it evolved from creatures which did have a stomach into... Not having one.

... I'm getting a tiny smidgen off topic methinks

 

For a moment I thought the title said "Cambrian bans human breast milk exports" and I was thinking Cambrian you greedy jerk!

 

When I saw the alert that you mentioned me and read the title of this thread, I thought it said that for a long confused moment as well.

 

Your Palpatine persona is secretly taking over the world as you sleep?

 

Not likely, I would never ban such an amazing export!

 

a) You can't exactly just walk into a supermarket and buy human milk. It's typically done by specialised agencies or even directly negotiated between provider and consumer, and it's rather expensive ($35-85 a litre; by comparison, cow milk is usually in the range of $1). As I said, not nearly as streamlined.

b) There are a zillion things in your average supermarket that would cause more severe problems if a complete moron assumed they were something other than what they are. Mistaking pet food for human food (I have had a family member do this), and mistaking milk of magnesia for actual milk, are two obvious examples.

They have breasts. They don't have nipples.

 

News tomorrow:

Fun fact my phone's autocorrect wants Cambrian to be Cambodia as well.

 

I don't claim to be an expert on the definition of breasts so I'll just assumed you're right

 

Huh, so the Chappelle Show skit wasn't a baseless joke and specifically Cambodian breastmilk is an actual thing?
At 02:59

 

Not any more, apparently!

 

A damn shame, if it was that good.

 

I don't think Cambodia is known for this because of superior-quality product so much as significant volume. I hear human milk in general tastes better than cow milk, so I'd suggest you find a local supplier.

...hmm. Now that I think about it, there could conceivably be racial differences. Not sure if there's enough people who've sampled widely enough to make for a consensus on the tastiest, though.

 

Makes sense, in that case the writers might have had heard of it. It sounded so oddly specific and now this news so that's probably the case.

 

I've heard it tastes sour.

 

Well, no. Monotremes all have milk patches, of which Platypuses are a part of, along with the Echidna.

 

Isn't selling milk a human right though?
Time to get Cambodia into trouble with UN. I bet there will be plenty countries eager to vote on a Resolution to allow Cambodians the right to sell milk.

And if they still refuse, we can bomb them into submission! Missiles for Milk program, if you will.