1. Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
    Dismiss Notice
  4. If you wish to change your username, please ask via conversation to tehelgee instead of asking via my profile. I'd like to not clutter it up with such requests.
    Dismiss Notice
  5. Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
    Dismiss Notice
  6. A note about the current Ukraine situation: Discussion of it is still prohibited as per Rule 8
    Dismiss Notice
  7. The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
    Dismiss Notice
  8. The testbed for the QQ XF2 transition is now publicly available. Please see more information here.
    Dismiss Notice

With This Ring (Young Justice SI) (Thread Fourteen)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Mr Zoat, Jan 27, 2019.

Loading...
  1. Adad64

    Adad64 Getting out there.

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2015
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    219
    No, if Sunset is returning from the mirror there's a good chance it's the same time the mirror activated in canon EQG, which had Twilight chilling with the crown asleep staying in canterlot for some reason or other. Timeline is a bit weird but I assumed there were some Narnia time shenanigans going on, because sunset was still roughly the same age as the mane 6.
     
    Cuchulin likes this.
  2. Aeess

    Aeess I trust you know where the happy button is?

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2018
    Messages:
    632
    Likes Received:
    3,595
    It's made quite clear that they are alive, both in Young Justice(where one was even a main character in season 3) and this Story(Grayven literally explained it to Wonder Woman, who would have felt it if he lied) .
     
    Bramble Thorn likes this.
  3. Threadmarks: Equestrian Girls (part 3)
    Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,303
    1st April 2012
    22:29 GMT -6


    Um.

    I look around.

    But where? The shortest route would be out of the window. I'm not trusting my natural flying ability, or…

    I look at my hooves again.

    Or the aero-discs which now only cover half of my feet. Legs. Are they still arms-? No, no, doesn't matter. Okay. I turn-.

    Ah.

    I fall onto my side, roll onto my stomach and then… Cautiously… Rise back onto my hooves. O-kay. Head back into the room with the mirror, don't run, don't run. Just walk. Good. Good. Shoulder the door open, grab the mirror with a packing crate construct and lift-.

    The crate makes it about two inches off the floor before the bottom of the crate breaks and the mirror thuds back onto the floor.

    Sinestro? It didn't look that heavy.

    I'm a little puzzled myself, Lantern Grayven. You should be capable of lifting an object of that weight.

    Is it enchanted to resist that sort of manipulation?

    Not so far as I can tell. Try creating another construct.

    I try making a coilgun construct-. I can clearly see through it!

    As I feared. After all Miss Shimmer's talk of 'friendship', I had wondered if there might be some manner of mental compulsion pushing her people in a communitarian direction. And I may be right. Something external is weakening your constructs. I suspect magic.

    Huh. Pretty clever. Like Father's Anti-Life broadcasters, only for harmony. Or… Not? That sort of thing is pretty evil.

    It might only trigger in response to direct arcane opposition. And it might be generated by the local equoids themselves. Miss Shimmer did explain at length that they have widespread arcane abilities.

    I hope so.

    This time the shipping crate is orange, and my detestation at the concept of external control makes it glow all the brighter.

    Because I really don't want this to be Evilquestria. I'm not good at psychological horror. If ponies are pony-shaped monsters, I… Think I'd just smash things until the situation was resolved.

    The crate is holding together this time, which is a little odd given that orange is one step further from the centre of the spectrum than yellow, but… Fine. No one knows how Wilsonian magic and power rings interact. I don't know why they'd oppose fear and not avarice… Or maybe it's the 'inspire fear' mechanism the magic is suppressing? Something for Sunset to study.

    I back out-.

    And now I'm on my haunches. At least I didn't fall over completely this time. Although… Lean forwards, press down with middle toes… Yes! Now walk. Carefully. Backwards… Yes. And float the mirror out. Yes, getting somewhere! So, out the window or try to find another-.

    "Halt, villein!"

    The force of the shout slams the construct into my face, breaking it and depositing the mirror on the floor! Ow. I'm back on my haunches again and… Someone's shouting. I lean to the left to peek around the mirror-.

    "Thy vile habits-"

    I duck back as near hurricane force winds blast down the corridor.

    "-and depravations shall-"

    I duck back.

    "-not besmirch the peace of Our night!"

    I peek out again. And.. that's Princess Luna. Black peytral with crescent moon decoration, black tiara, silver hoof boot things. Shouting really loudly, wings flared to make her look bigger, head slightly lowered to either aim her horn or charge and gore me as her mane billows in a non-existent wind.

    I think the top of her head might come up to my shoulder.

    I want to hug her and pet her and squeeze her and brush her mane and call her Lulu.

    I blink, and give my head a small shake. "Not a villein."

    "Still thy ophidian tongue, oh scurrilous leasing-monger!"

    "No, seriously. 'Villein' means 'peasant'. I think you mean 'villain', meaning 'criminally inclined'."

    She blinks, pulling her head back a little. Then she narrows her eyes. "I knowst not how thou hast transcended thine tenebrous state, Sombra, but thy maliferous campaign of abydocomy ends here!"

    "I don’t even know what that-."

    I duck back behind the mirror as a brilliant blue bolt flies from her horn! It blasts through the air just in front of my rapidly recalled muzzle, impacting the wall behind me and leaving a scorch mark burned into the paint. It just burns.. paint? That's.. nothing like strong enough to hurt me. Unless it's a targeting beam she can amp up once-

    "Cease thy craven hiding and face me, churl!"

    -she has a lock or something.

    "That doesn't sound like a good idea to me!"

    Because you're Princess Luna. I mean, come on.

    "For all thine manifold wickednesses,-"

    I hear galloping hooves.

    "-in the name of the moon We shall punish you!"

    I look up to see Luna perform a wing-assisted leap over Starswirl's mirror, glaring down at me as she aims her horn in my direction!

    "Princess, I think there's been-."

    I roll right as the beam slams down through the carpet and into the stonework beneath!

    "For Equestria!"

    Alright then.

    A yellow pneumatic clamp grabs her around the flanks to her momentary astonishment, then speeds her towards the ground. There's a flare of blue from her horn as she shatters the construct, turning the hurtle into a stagger as she absorbs the energy. I generate a construct rounders bat and swing it at her horn, only for it to bounce off a blue shield and fade out of existence.

    Okay.

    Back on my feet, I charge her, middle toe middle finger thumb fuck!

    I trip, forward roll and just about manage to flick Luna on the muzzle with my tail as she takes aim for another shot. She cancels and goes for a double forehoof stomp at my exposed chest instead, which.. my armour absorbs. Realising her mistake, she tries to flap her wings to get away but I reach up with all four hooves and wrap them around her! She flaps anyway haphazardly lifting us off the ground. I swing my weight to the left and her eyes widen as she loses control and we crash into a wall! As we hit the ground she wraps her hooves around me as well and-.

    Ow! She bit me!
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2020
  4. Katillno

    Katillno Verified Nobu fan

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2019
    Messages:
    2,469
    Likes Received:
    32,924
    So is this soon after nightmare moons return maybe as twilight was packing the rest of the things she’d need to live at ponyville?
     
  5. thebishop8

    thebishop8 Umm, ackchyually...

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2019
    Messages:
    360
    Likes Received:
    2,257
    Change "main" to "mane". Remove 1 full stop too, I think.
     
  6. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,303
    [​IMG]
    No, I think pushing a mare who is maybe twenty two into a position of autocratic power counts as 'incompetent'. Things like that are why I stopped watching once the school was founded.
    Preach it brother!
    But you just said she ruins perfectly functional plans with her stupidity. Why would he want to recruit her?
     
  7. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
    Messages:
    1,462
    Likes Received:
    9,634
  8. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,310
    Do i see the beginning of a potential romance.
    Some of the most beautiful love stories start on a rocky road.
     
  9. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,303
    Thank you, corrected.
     
    Bramble Thorn and AngelicKnight. like this.
  10. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,289
    Likes Received:
    12,979
    Ok, so Luna got to him first, not Tia. And no Nightmare Moon.

    And he's confirmed as Sombra-like. I wonder if that's a translation of the manteling effect as Grayven?

    I so hope we get to see Grayven petting her and smushing her cheeks or something though! :D
     
    PurpLexed likes this.
  11. Shotiegun11

    Shotiegun11 Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Messages:
    130
    Likes Received:
    1,376
    Get rid of the second quotation mark since you don't have it in every other part of this split up sentence. Then it'll be fixed.

    No one reads the FAQ.
     
  12. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
    Messages:
    1,462
    Likes Received:
    9,634
    He's been impersonating fireplaces since stealing Grayven's identity?!? That fiend!
     
  13. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,169
    Likes Received:
    7,097
    The bite and the current hosting site makes me worry.
     
  14. Citizen

    Citizen Well worn.

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2016
    Messages:
    6,495
    Likes Received:
    14,334
    Is...is this the first "in the name of the moon" speech he he has gotten?
     
  15. Silverias

    Silverias Know what you're doing yet?

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2016
    Messages:
    191
    Likes Received:
    2,038
    pls read FAQ pls+thnk
     
    Alexandercctv and DAT_NOOB like this.
  16. Chaoswind

    Chaoswind Lord of nonsense

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    1,169
    Likes Received:
    7,097

    Right as the beam slams

    Good nighg.
     
  17. Chojin Patriarch

    Chojin Patriarch Veteran Lurker

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    2,150
    Likes Received:
    33,442
    Time to put those rings to use, then. And hope they don't set off every alarm in the city.

    Yeah, trying to use them will just result in you hanging upside down, no doubt.

    Haha, still trying to get the hang of walking? Not going to be inspiring any fear around here.

    Fascinating. An effect upon the ring or upon the mirror?

    Well, looks like my crack about inspiring fear was closer to the mark than I though.

    And sets up some concerning implications, depending on its nature and origin...

    For your sake, at least. How long has it been since he's relied more upon his Orange ring than his Yellow?

    Eesh, the ideas some people come up with... And using cute ponies intended for little girls as the vehicle? Gah...:eek:

    Presumably, whatever ambient 'Friendship' field affects the world reinforces Hope, Compassion and Love while weakening Fear, Want and Hate... But without stilling them entirely, because losing them would have their own harmful effects.

    Good plan, but Murphy's launching his Mishap-nuke!

    Ow. Canterlot Royal Voice in full swing, I see. Sounds like Celestia's pissed off.

    Wait, no... Seriously?

    Yep, he's a full-scale horse. I'd guess at least eighteen hands, then (72 inches, ~183cm, about the size of a draft horse.) Or he could be bigger, dwarfing even a Clydesdale...

    Sinestring: Stow the brony talk, Grayven. Fangasm later!

    Honestly, she sounds like the Frenchman in 'Monty Python and the Holy Grail'...

    "And now you're just making up words..." I don't think she likes being corrected...

    You know, it would be funny if his Divine energy simply caused her attacks to fizzle. After all, what does being the princess of some minor kingdom on a backwater world matter, compared to the majesty and might of a Son of Darkseid?:sneaky:

    Now, Grayven, I understand you might have a crush on the pony princess, but note that she is, while frankly adorable, using lethal force...

    Snap out of it, Paul!

    It's just not the same without the silly Tokusentai posing.

    I think she's done talking...

    To quote a certain duck: "Let's get dangerous..."

    Not the best idea to try physical combat wile still learning to move in your new form, Grayven...

    Given the only really unarmoured parts are his forehooves and his head... I'm guessing an ear.

    So.. Luna's presence sets this post-Nightmare Moon. Going by Sunset's likely timeline, we're probably still on the movie's schedule. Meaning this is sometime just before 'Magical Mystery Cure'. So, Canon won't get totally derailed. Also amusing that Luna thinks Grayven is Sombra...
     
  18. Kalem_Lee

    Kalem_Lee Well worn.

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2017
    Messages:
    7,809
    Likes Received:
    59,334
    Welp. I died in the Name of the Moon.
     
  19. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,303
    Thank you, corrected.
    Thank you, corrected.
    night
     
  20. Sceptic

    Sceptic Critical Irrationalist

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2016
    Messages:
    1,462
    Likes Received:
    9,634
    Given this episode, perhaps neight.
     
  21. nick012000

    nick012000 Gone for Good

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2013
    Messages:
    4,553
    Likes Received:
    12,681
    Ironically, I’m pretty sure that that plan would work, since Twilight’s been filled in on who he really is by Sunset Glimmer and would solve things by convincing everyone to de-escalate the conflict and talk things out.
     
  22. Handlewithcare

    Handlewithcare Versed in the lewd.

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,289
    Likes Received:
    12,979
    Wait, impersonating? I thought his canon appearance was a walking, talking stove!
     
  23. ForeverShogo

    ForeverShogo Not too sore, are you?

    Joined:
    Sep 25, 2016
    Messages:
    454
    Likes Received:
    2,726
    Well, Chrysalis usually gets beaten by last second deus ex machinas. But otherwise? She's pretty good at pulling things off. You can just teach her not to gloat and just hurry up and finish off defeated foes.

    I mean, shit, if we're early enough in the timeline you could just make sure Thorax can't make skittle bugs a thing and she'll win anyways.
     
    Razorfloss, Cuchulin and Navi-Hank like this.
  24. Bigreader

    Bigreader Doom. Boom!

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2017
    Messages:
    928
    Likes Received:
    5,476
    Okay, I'm convinced. We now need 30 chapters. Of this Grayvens Misadventures in pony land.
     
  25. Lucidum

    Lucidum Verifiably Bored

    Joined:
    Jul 14, 2019
    Messages:
    1,239
    Likes Received:
    3,938
    You know... by the sound of things in the Ponyverse the emotional electromagnetic spectrum seems to be reversed. It'd make a lot of sense to me so that compassion and love are closer to the center and the Equestrians have just been tapping into the light of hope, love, and compassion. Though TBH I'm not super sure how well this theory will hold up.
     
  26. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,303
    Too bad: you're getting 40.
     
  27. Vaermina

    Vaermina Well worn.

    Joined:
    Oct 16, 2015
    Messages:
    5,522
    Likes Received:
    20,893
    Grayven is literally getting his ass kicked by a pony.

    This makes me happy. :D

    Now lets hope their battle breaks the mirror and he ends up stuck there.
     
  28. DAT_NOOB

    DAT_NOOB Accused of writing in a far away land

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2019
    Messages:
    821
    Likes Received:
    3,144
    Stop
     
  29. Darko

    Darko Connoisseur.

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2019
    Messages:
    22,136
    Likes Received:
    320,310
    Zoat are you going to show alternate versions of the SI in this episode and the next one?
    You said there will be two episodes of Equestria.
     
    DAT_NOOB likes this.
  30. Mr Zoat

    Mr Zoat Dedicated ragequitter

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2016
    Messages:
    14,700
    Likes Received:
    729,303
    Yes.
    Hammerzeit?
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2020
Loading...