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Cane Toad (Worm)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by We Just Write, Jan 30, 2022.

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  1. We Just Write

    We Just Write Blatantly Plural

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    C: We were attacked by a plot bunny and it wouldn't go away. This might end up a one shot.


    Five years until the incident

    I walked away from the living room with a goofy grin on my face "That was a funny movie! Emma, what was your favorite part?"

    "Oh that part where both cups were poisoned was amazing." a thoughtful expression crossed Emma's face "I wonder if you could actually build up an immunity to a poison like that in real life?"

    I thought about the idea for a moment, before I replied "I honestly don't know. I'll have to look into it."


    Four years, eight months until the incident

    I was over at Emma's house for lunch "So I've been looking into that building up an immunity to poisons thing, and it's really complicated."

    Emma asked "Really, it is? But the movie made it seem so simple."

    I shrugged "Well, I've been reading up on the subject, and there's only certain categories of poison that you can actually do it with. Any poison that exists as an element is pretty much a no-go. Fat-soluble poisons tend to accumulate until they eventually kill you, I don't want to inject myself with snake venom on the regular, can't build a tolerance to cyanide, and yeah it's a whole minefield where most of the poisons you'd try it with will just kill you."

    Emma looked disappointed "Is that even a real thing then? Are there any poisons you can build a tolerance to at all?"

    I smiled "Well, there's a few at least. Got a lot of strange looks at the library finding this out, but apparently you can build up a tolerance for deadly nightshade at least. Not so sure about strychnine though, and no idea where I'd get it."

    Emma finished chewing her sandwich and swallowed "So, any ideas about where you want to take it from here?"

    I thought about it "Well, I don't know about you, but I'd really like to get to the point where I can eat a sandwich with belladonna jelly and just find it tasty."


    Four years, seven months before the incident

    "Mom, I want to plant deadly nightshade in the backyard."

    Mom looked at me with a shocked expression on her face "What? Why? No."

    I looked out the window for a bit, then answered "I want to take up Mithradatism, and belladonna's one of the only poisons it'll work on."

    Mom sighed "The answer is still no. You could easily make a mistake and get yourself badly poisoned. I'm not going to let you experiment on yourself with toxic berries, and that's final."

    I couldn't help myself, I made puppy dog eyes at her "Please?"

    Mom shook her head "The answer is still no. But if you want to try building up a tolerance for something, we could get you started on spicy food. Every time you exceed your spice tolerance is a time you'd have died if you were trying it with belladonna."

    I was still pretty disappointed, but I figured it would be a decent enough compromise.


    Two years before the incident

    Mom was dead. Dad had gone almost catatonic from grief. And as for me, I needed something to focus on to keep going. Finding a deadly nightshade plant at summer camp wasn't all that hard. Safely extracting the seeds and smuggling them home was slightly harder.

    But now I was getting ready to start on building up my tolerance, especially once the second year crop of belladonna came in for making jam.


    The Incident

    Emma was out sick today, but I didn't think for a second the bullying would stop. That's why I'd hidden in Winslow's library in order to eat my lunch. A box of chocolate milk, an orange, and a peanut butter sandwich with a generous helping of my homemade belladonna jam. Nothing I hadn't had plenty of times before.

    I'd just gotten the sandwich out when Sophia grabbed it out of my hands. "What's this, Hebert? Don't you know eating in the library is against the rules?" as she started raising the sandwich to her mouth.

    I panicked and told her "Don't eat that! It's full of poison!"

    Sophia rolled her eyes "Bullshit, you were all ready to eat it, and I don't think you're smart enough to kill yourself yet."

    I don't know why I suddenly felt the urge to save Sophia's life, but I got up from my seat and tried to grab it back, only to earn an elbow in the ribs for my trouble.

    So I watched helplessly as Sophia ate a sandwich containing enough belladonna jam to take down Lung.

    I barely managed to get out "Sophia, you need to go to the hospital. Right now." only to get kicked in the head for my trouble, passing out immediately.


    Sophia: Hey, I stole Hebert's lunch. Ate her sandwich right in front of her. She actually got physical for once.

    Emma: You did WHAT!? You need to go to the hospital RIGHT NOW!

    Sophia: It's not like it was actually poisoned or anything. You steal her lunches all the time.

    Emma: Taylor's been building up an immunity to multiple deadly poisons for years now. When I've stolen Taylor's lunch I've always thrown it out and eaten a lookalike.

    Sophia: Bullshit, like that toad had it in her.

    Emma: I'm serious, Sophia! Go to the hospital RIGHT NOW!


    When I woke up, I was handcuffed to a hospital bed staring down Armsmaster, with a dire expression on his face.

    "You're awake. I have some questions for you."

    I couldn't help it "How long was I out?"

    "You've been unconscious for most of two days. Shadow Stalker is dead from belladonna poisoning. And you are the prime suspect."

    "I told her not to eat the sandwich."

    Armsmaster's expression went foul "Excuse me?"

    "I've been building up a tolerance to deadly nightshade for a while. I put belladonna jam on my everything. Sophia stole my sandwich and ate it right in front of me. Tried to stop her, got punched out for my trouble."

    Armsmaster glared at me "Interesting. We'll see what the prosecutor makes of that." before leaving the room.


    A couple days in the hospital passed, the handcuffs getting no more comfortable than they were before.

    Then a couple PRT troopers came in with a man wearing a pinstripe suit.

    The man introduced himself "I am deputy director Rennick, and I have a deal for you."

    I groaned "What?"

    Rennick answered "Join the wards as a probationary member, and we'll drop all charges. Otherwise you're going on trial for first degree murder. Life in prison when we convict."

    I glared suspiciously at him "You know I don't have powers right?"

    Rennick smiled evilly "We'll be the judge of that, and would you rather go on trial for murder?"

    "Where's my dad? Where's my lawyer?"

    "They aren't here right now. Just us. So make your choice; join the wards, or spend your life in prison."

    I joined the wards.
     
  2. Autocorruptor

    Autocorruptor Corrupting Innocent Grammar

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    Huh, this is an idea I haven’t seen before.
     
    Jesseblackhawk and One-who-reads like this.
  3. brad

    brad Making the rounds.

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    Unless you're trying to write some kind of crack fanfiction that is so much b******* you can't be forced into the wards if you're not a parahuman and you surely can't make a decision like that without your dad or lawyer
     
  4. We Just Write

    We Just Write Blatantly Plural

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    C: We're aware of the lack of proper procedure. On the first count, this is a case where no-one believes Taylor's claims of not having powers (on account of her demonstrated resistance to poisoning with Belladonna). On the second count, the PRT is not a trustworthy organization in the slightest.
     
  5. One-who-reads

    One-who-reads Illuminatus

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    Ok, i really want to see three more chapters at least. One where the other wards meet Taylor, one where taylor triggers (preferrably while in costume, perhaps due to Bakuda's pain bomb?), and a PHO chapter of the internet reacting to the whole shebang.
     
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  6. walket11

    walket11 Not too sore, are you?

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    Was really enjoying it till rennick was the one who pulled her in, then I wasnt sure. Hes usually just background stooge #3. So while it could be a great chance for him to develop into something, I smell coil all over this planting evidence of her actually being a parahuman, to later discredit pigots operations.

    Needs more for me to decide, watched.
     
  7. Glaciel

    Glaciel I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    The pacing is off (it's way too fast. Slow down and take your time. It takes far longer to write than to read something) and the people are a little bit too one-dimensional, but the idea itself is honestly unique enough that I'm going to watch anyways and see where it goes.
     
  8. Drock

    Drock Not too sore, are you?

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    She really should have waited for her lawyer
    I mean no one brought up the fact that Sophia
    Kicked taylor hard in the head to put in a two day coma?!
     
  9. We Just Write

    We Just Write Blatantly Plural

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    J: You're correct that the pacing was garbage. We weren't really concerned with turning out a high quality fic on this one, we just wanted the annoying plotbunny to go away.
     
  10. Glaciel

    Glaciel I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    That’s valid ^_^ I was trying to be polite.

    on one hand it’s a really interesting launching off point for a story as long as it focuses on Taylor’s weird relationship with either poisons or the princess bride. On the other hand it’s hard to see where this goes that’s super different from the other “malicious compliance” style stories now that I’m thinking about it

    but for what it’s worth as written I actually really like it XD
     
    One-who-reads likes this.
  11. dawnkeyblade

    dawnkeyblade Getting sticky.

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    So this is a really interesting idea. Could I get a link on how exactly to build up a tolerance to belladonna?
     
  12. We Just Write

    We Just Write Blatantly Plural

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    T: We don't recommend trying it. Despite considerable research we found no specific instructions, only a brief acknowledgement that it is possible. We don't actually know if Taylor's feat of eating deadly nightshade jam sandwiches is within the limits of human biology, and we don't know what the dosing schedule would look like.

    C: Seriously this would be taking your life in your hands, don't do it.
     
  13. dawnkeyblade

    dawnkeyblade Getting sticky.

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    Well dang. I was hoping you'd found more than I had. Oh well.
     
  14. Extras: Piggot is Smart
    Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Director Piggot: "Sit down, Renick. We need to talk."

    Deputy Director Renick: "Yes, ma'am."

    Piggot: "I take leave for one week, and I come back to this? What the fuck, Renick?"

    Renick: "I can explain."

    Piggot: "I certainly hope so. Start talking. How did Hess die?"

    Renick: "She apparently ate a poisoned sandwich. There was enough belladonna in her system to kill three grown men."

    Piggot: "And how did the poison get into her sandwich?"

    Renick: "It ... uh, it wasn't her sandwich. She apparently beat up another student and stole her lunch."

    Piggot: "And who was trying to kill the other student?"

    Renick: "Uh ... nobody? The Hebert girl has apparently been experimenting with taking greater and greater doses of deadly nightshade for the past few years. She makes the jam herself. When we raided the house, we found the apparatus she uses to make it in the basement, and the plants in the back yard."

    Piggot: "Do you have any evidence at all that the Hebert girl tricked or forced Hess to ingest the sandwich?"

    Renick: "... no. Unless ... well, apparently Hess has been bullying her for some time, and maybe she just wanted to get rid of her bully, and used reverse psychology ...?"

    Piggot: "First, unless Hebert is a time traveller, by your own admission she started this experimentation long before she ever met Hess. Second, how long have you known about this bullying?"

    Renick: "It ... uh, it came out while we were investigating her phone after her death."

    Piggot: "Indeed. I'm going to need to talk to her Wards liaison after this. But for right now, what in God's name prompted you to shanghai the Hebert girl into the Wards in her place?"

    Renick: "She, uh, she shows superhuman capability --"

    Piggot: "She's spent years training her body to resist one specific poison. Tell me, how exactly is this going to assist her in her Wards career? Take your time. I'll wait."

    Renick: "It, uh, it could be the result of a parahuman power--"

    Piggot: "Did you check? Do I have the results of an MRI scan on my desk?"

    Renick: "It all happened so fast --"

    Piggot: "And her father's signature? Do you have that too?"

    Renick: "He didn't want his daughter tried for murder--"

    Piggot: "Which we both know it wasn't."

    Renick: "But we'd just lost a Ward!"

    Piggot: "And you replaced her with one who not only doesn't want to be here, but has an unknown supply of deadly poison that she might just share with the rest of the Wards! Do you understand the situation yet? Am I making myself clear?"

    Renick: "But she has an ability ..."

    Piggot: "Which she's going to use how? Do we have any villains who happen to use belladonna in their crimes? A deadly nightshade spray, for instance? Or perhaps she can share her delicious belladonna jam sandwiches with Hookwolf in the middle of a fight?"

    Renick: "So I should start expediting the paperwork releasing Belladonna from the Wards...?"

    Piggot: "Immediately. Now get out of my sight."

    <phone rings>

    Piggot: "What!?"

    PRT Officer at other end of phone: "Uh, Director? We have a new villain in town, calling themselves Nightshade. They've taken the Brockton Bay Central Bank hostage, and they say their deadly nightshade spray will kill any hero who comes close."

    Piggot: "Are you fucking with me right now?"

    Renick: "You see? She has a useful ability--"

    Piggot: "AEGIS CAN STILL DO IT BETTER, YOU FUCKING MORON!"

    Renick: "... oh."
     
  15. Darkstorm_Etherstar

    Darkstorm_Etherstar ο αιώνιος περιπλανώμενος

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    Does anyone else smell a PR disaster incoming or is it just me?
     
  16. We Just Write

    We Just Write Blatantly Plural

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    J: First time in a while any of our fics have had an Omake, and it's a darn funny one too.
     
  17. Drock

    Drock Not too sore, are you?

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    Yeah someone is definitely getting fired after this
     
  18. Hylas_Daemonem

    Hylas_Daemonem A Colony of Ghosts

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    Also, it didn't work out well for the guy who invented it, Mithradates. He was a king who was terrified of being poisoned, so he built up immunity slowly, but he eventually was overthrown. He tried to kill himself with a large dose of his poisons, but he'd become immune and had to get one of his servants to stab him to death.
     
  19. InfiniteDarkSide

    InfiniteDarkSide Not too sore, are you?

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    I will treat this as crack.
     
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  20. We Just Write

    We Just Write Blatantly Plural

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    C: We were treating it as a way to make an annoying plot bunny shut up, no more, no less. The plot bunny has since stopped bugging us, so mission accomplished.
     
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  21. Anon E Mouse

    Anon E Mouse Not A Giant Space Spider

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    On the other hand his extended (and close) family had a long history of poisoning each other (normally successfully) so doing his best to be resistant to most of the common poisons of his culture was not a stupid idea. Risky yes but not stupid, see all the successfully poisoned members of his family for examples.:p It's just that he went and pissed off the Romans and that just doesn't tend to end well for anybody. Look at what happened to the Barcas.
     
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  22. Grimmouse197

    Grimmouse197 Experienced.

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    I'm going to be frank here script style is pretty intolerable for a lot of readers including myself. It's good for prototyping in idea but please for love of everything good use actual proper paragraphs.
     
  23. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I usually do.
    This was basically me banging out an idea before it escaped me, so I could get back to doing other stuff.
     
  24. Grimmouse197

    Grimmouse197 Experienced.

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    Apparently on FF they actually have a rule against script style writing which is weird to me but I understand why .... Not that they really actively enforce the rules anyways.
     
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  25. Hellkite

    Hellkite Getting sticky.

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    So I have to say that all the way up to Taylor waking up in the hospital, I was with you and immersed in the story. Then she wakes up and sees Beardmaster immediately and the first thing he says to her is, "Why did you kill Shadow Stalker, with deadly nightshade!" That broke my Suspension of Disbelief right there, completely pulled me out of the story. Then to compound it, Taylor is like, "I didn't kill Sophia!". Unless Shadow Stalker is an open cape in this universe, this entire sequence made NO sense. Everything after her waking up in the hospital made NO sense! I'm very disappointed.
     
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  26. Wentley

    Wentley Versed in the lewd.

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    I don’t understand. Why didn’t she just use iocane powder?
     
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  27. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    I think he was going by the assumption that she knew SS was SH, and it was a deliberate act.
     
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  28. Hellkite

    Hellkite Getting sticky.

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    I can see that... However her reaction to the news that Sophia was Shadow Stalker, was so blasé. I think I would have expected trauma or a blue screen moment. If he was working under the impression that she KNEW S = SS, then that response of hers is probably where he was like "yep, this girl knew and probably deliberately killed S."

    I just got to say that that part of the story wasn't quite as well developed as the first part and it really does need development before I'd consider it somewhat ready as a story. But as a rough draft it was good and I do look forward to where the author takes it, if the author ever does develop it.
     
  29. JustCurious

    JustCurious Not too sore, are you?

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    Definitely a funny plot bunny. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for the omake.
     
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