Charm Learning Shard (Worm/Exalted) (COMPLETED)

Aisha is waiting for you back the lair. She's jumping from foot to foot with anticipation, but stills when she see that you're empty-handed.

"I thought we were going to split the loot?" she says.

"Do you have any idea what security measures they have in place to keep you from just stealing money out of a bank vault and spending it willy-nilly?" you ask.

"Well..." She frowns. "Not really?"

"Me neither. Which is why I hired professionals to handle the laundering process."

"Oh." She nods to show that she understands, but still looks crestfallen.

"I get it," you say. "In the movie currently playing out in your head - titled 'Aisha becomes a respected and feared villain' - the loot-splitting scene is really cool, with laughter and wisecracks and money scattered all over the table."

From the look on her face you were dead on the money with your guess, but she hadn't actually put it into words until you did.

Alec chuckles and shakes his head. "Fucking Thinkers, eh?" he says.

"Look," you say, "I'll call them and ask them to send over a bunch of cash instead of just putting everything in a bank account for you. Come back here tomorrow after school and we'll do it properly."

"Fine," Aisha mutters, slightly happier at being indulged than upset at being condescended to.

Objectively speaking paying Number Man's fees for overnight cash delivery is a giant waste of money, but employee morale is important when you only have soft Master powers. It's not as if you're in this for the money anyway. Once the Number Man comes through you'll have more money than you could possibly need for day-to-day matters, while still being well short of the amounts needed for large-scale orichalcum production. The marginal value of a few grand here or there is basically zero.

---

Lisa sends you a message the next day while you're at school. Not, as you had expected, congratulations or chastisement for becoming a better villain than her on your first try (not your intention at all, but as far as you know the Undersiders still haven't robbed any banks). It just says 'watch chnl 4 2nite'. Did she take your success so personally she's going to one-up you tonight?

You'll find out soon enough, so you just shrug and go about your day - still trying to stalk Glory Girl without her boyfriend catching you. Your study of her is about halfway done, you think. You don't even remember how long you've been doing this now, but the way you've been snatching glimpses one lunch break at a time makes Rune seem quick and easy. Looking at the calendar, you might not actually finish before she graduates. But what else are you supposed to do at school?

Number Man (or rather, some minion of his) delivered the cash to a storage locker at Brockton Central Station, and texted you the combination. It's barely a detour to pick it up on your way to the lair, but your own minions are all there waiting for you anyway. Well, Aisha is younger than you, her school probably lets out earlier. And neither of Ghost goes to school in the first place.

"'Sup goys," you greet them as you throw the money on the table.

"'Sup, what?" Aisha asks.

Oops. "'Goys,'" you repeat calmly, not letting any hint of consternation show on your face or in your voice. "From the Hebrew 'goyim', 'gentiles'."

"Did you just accidentally drop nazi slang on your black friend?"

"Since when are we-" Your response is reflexive, but trails off when your brain processes what your mouth is saying. "Huh. Since when are we friends?"

"Beats me," Aisha says cheerfully. "Guess I grow on people."

"Like a fungus," you agree. "Still works as a greeting, doesn't it? I'm assuming you're not a Black Israelite."

"Would you gas me if I said I was?"

You snort. "Nazis fucking love Black Israelites. They're hilarious, and piss off real jews something fierce."

"Heh. Bet they hate BITN, though."

"Not really? We hold no territory and no ideology, and we haven't attacked them, so why would they care? Can't even use us to make a statement about black crime, because all capes are psychos regardless of race. Anyway," you gesture at the bag you dropped on the table, still unopened, "did you maybe want some money?"

---

You have to admit, Aisha's loot-splitting scene is enjoyable. There's something inherently satisfying about shoving big stacks of cash around, in no way diminished by the way you also give each member a shiny new debit card containing several times that amount. Aisha also insisted that each of you place your mask on the table next to your loot pile. You indulged her, amused at how seriously she took a photo op occurring entirely inside her own head.

She is not entirely content, though. She glances from her pile of loot, to Ghost's slightly larger pile, to your significantly larger pile.

"What gives?" she demands.

"I get a double share, because-" you start ticking points off on your fingers "- one, I'm the boss. Two, I came up with the plan. Three, I paid for everything out of pocket - including the lair you're chilling in and the costume you're wearing." It's cute that she changed into her costume for this.

"Okay, okay." She holds up her hands in some combination of surrender and 'please stop talking'. "But-"

"Ghost gets a bit extra since she's eating for two," you say, not quite able to keep a smile from your lips.

Aisha stares wide-eyed at Sophia. "She's preggers?" Alec also glances between her and you, one eyebrow raised in question.

You burst out laughing. "No, silly. Ghost is literally one mind in two bodies. Duh."

"You set me up for that," Aisha grumbles.

"You can't prove anything."

She grimaces, but leans back and starts playing with a wad of bills. "Fine, you got me. What's next, boss?"

"Next? Do you owe money to the mafia? Are they going to break your legs if you don't pay them back next week?"

"No..?"

"Then what's next is kicking back and relaxing, and enjoying being rich. I know you like being a villain, but if villainy is full-time job you're doing it wrong."

"Isn't he-" Aisha gestures at Alec, who holds up his hands in protest.

"I get paid a retainer to be on call for villainy," he says. "Most days I don't do shit."

"Okay, I get it. I dunno, I sort of expected..."

"Taylor's clever plan to get us nemeses, like all proper villains should have?" you suggest.

Aisha pouts in your direction. "Do you have to be a Thinker all the time?"

"They really do", Alec says. As Tattletale's teammate, he'd know.

"I mean, yeah, I kind of wanted a nemesis to fuck with. It's not fair, I bet you both already have one."

Do you? You hadn't considered it in those terms before, but to ask the question is to answer it. You do have a nemesis. Fucking Gallant. "I do," you confirm.

"Not me," Alec says. "I guess Shadow Stalker was the collective Undersiders nemesis ever since she almost killed Grue, but-"

"She what?" Aisha demands. She holds out a hand in your direction, but her eyes are fixed on Sophia. "Knife."

You lean across the table and materialize your knife so that it falls into her hand, while Alec rolls his eyes. "I'm not happy with how he bled all over my couch either, but could you hold off until I'm not inside her?"

"No," Aisha says firmly.

"Villainy is more of a feminine role anyway," you say, phrasing it that way specifically to see if it annoys Alec. It doesn't, at least not above his baseline annoyance at Aisha carving patterns into Sophia. "You can take steps to appear more thwartable, but ultimately it's up to the heroes to make the first move and suggestively foil your plans. In the nemesis marketplace you're the pursued, not the pursuer."

Aisha makes a vaguely affirmative grunt, her attention focused elsewhere. "The two of us could have a movie night at the lair if you want," you suggest.

That gets her attention. " What about-" She gestures towards Alec.

"Alec will be busy tonight."

Alec groans his 'fucking Thinkers' groan. It's funny how once you have a reputation as a smug Thinker, people assume all your knowledge is supernatural in origin.

"You go-" You hesitate. Aisha is the minion, but between the two of you, you're the one currently dressed in civvies. "I'll go buy snacks, you put Ghost to bed."

---

"What the fuck?" you demand. Channel 4 is broadcasting live from a charity event celebrating the defeat of the ABB. It's not that you're opposed to charity, or unhappy about the city no longer blowing up. It's that the event is chock full of heroes, who are taking credit for it. The fucking gall of these people.

"Yeah," Aisha says. "They should at least acknowledge who killed Bakuda." She pauses for effect. "Bakuda herself! Maybe a statue... Oh wait, she's already a statue!"

"And who made that happen?" you grumble.

"Uber?" Aisha suggests innocently, before dodging thrown popcorn. It's not that you told her what happened - Uber&Leet's final stream is by far their most viewed, with copies archived all over the internet. Everyone knows what happened. Which just makes the heroes trying to claim credit even more annoying. Wow, you arrested everyone too stupid to stop wearing gang colors when all their parahuman muscle was gone, really impressive.

(if they'd arrested them slightly faster- no, don't think about it)

You're not even sure Lisa is doing crime tonight, anymore. She might just have Thinker'd that you don't really watch TV anymore, and given you the heads up so you could get good and mad tonight. Possibly as a therapeutic measure. She-

Belay that. Three monster dogs just crashed through the ceiling, sending glass shards raining down on the cream of Brockton Bay's society. Riding them are, of course, Tattletale, Grue, Regent and Hellhound. As well as... huh. You've heard capes in costume referred to as 'clowns' before, but that girl takes it literally. Parahuman mercenary Circus, you presume.

That's all you see before darkness explodes out from Grue, covering the entire room - or at least the camera.

"You knew that was going to happen," Aisha accuses.

"Sort of." You shake your head in amazement. Yes, the amount of jewelry present in that room would no doubt make for a decent payday. But also present is the entire goddamn Protectorate, and a fair chunk of the Wards - and you're pretty sure you spotted Victoria Dallon in the crowd. Good luck stealing her diamond necklace.

Any sane villain who knew about this event would rob literally any other place tonight, while the heroes are all busy schmoozing the 1%. But you have to admit, if they somehow pull this off Lisa will have handily topped you in the villain game.

The black screen cuts to a harried-looking news anchor type person, who promises that they will report what is happening as soon as they find out themselves. In the meantime, a hastily assembled panel starts discussing the history of the Undersiders, and speculating as to why the previously sneaky team would suddenly throw themselves straight at the most retarded risk/reward ratio imaginable.

You'd like to know that yourself, but you're more likely to find out by asking Lisa tomorrow - assuming she doesn't get herself arrested.

"Another movie?" you suggest. Aisha shakes her head, her eyes glued to the screen. Okay, so she's more invested in this than you are. You lean back and eat some popcorn. How long can a cape fight last, anyway?

---

There is no further footage from the fight, but you are able to piece together what happened from interviews with eyewitnesses. To sum it up, no one ended up looking very good. The Undersiders (plus Circus) started out by selectively dispelling parts of the darkness in sequence to defeat the heroes in detail. This worked extremely well, right up until it didn't.

One slip was all it took, and Grue ended up in containment foam. But he responded by pumping out as much darkness as possible, covering the entire building and a fair bit of the surrounding neighborhood. It's not just darkness, either - it also suppresses sound and radio signals, and messes with people's sense of direction. It was almost an hour before the heroes managed to find and sedate him.

The whole time the rich elite of Brockton Bay was trapped in supernatural sensory deprivation, stumbling into walls and falling down stairs in their panic. And apparently Thinker beats Shaker, because the rest of the Undersiders managed to find their way outside and got away. But they barely got any loot, and lost one of their members. As you said, no one ended up looking good.

"We have to save him!" Aisha says.

"No we don't." You hold up a hand to forestall an argument. "Because the Undersiders are going to do that already. You can offer them your services if you want, but BITN plotting a separate jailbreak and getting in their way serves no one."