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  • Users: rad
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  1. A New Player in the Force (SW/Lite Gamer)

    The action of the chapter was fun but it is seriously suffering from a lack of ‘show, don’t tell’. The constant internal monologues from Bo about her jealousy and Hugo about the Dark Side make it got from entertaining action to a slog.

  2. A New Player in the Force (SW/Lite Gamer)

    Heh, fun. I'm guessing that when the MC publishes the book that they will not enjoy the very blatant bits saying that love and other positive emotions are good things for Jedi and can redeem them. The fact that the MC is also having to realize his skills are just the rote skills rather than...

  3. One Who is Many - [Worm / Game of Thrones]

    I think that a common thread of every perspective in this chapter is someone being stupid and someone going "aw fuck, I have to be the adult here don't I?"

  4. One Who is Many - [Worm / Game of Thrones]

    Huh, cool. So maybe the 'frostbite' she got on the way wasn't that but damage from her reincarnation? Maybe leftovers from her previous life. Maybe the QA that Bran sees is damaged in the same way. Whelp, guess it is the canon explaination. And problem solved for you. Wasn't Sarella...

  5. One Who is Many - [Worm / Game of Thrones]

    Correct me if I am wrong but IIRC the authors have said that there is another crossover character in this story but have not said who the other Worm character is. Current bets seem to be Bran or possibly Delilah but who could they have been originally? Just for the sake of cruelty I'm...

  6. One Who is Many - [Worm / Game of Thrones]

    Good bit of set up there. When it comes to the conversation between Oberyn and Ned I feel like that should have happened in canon. With the way that Oberyn was supposed to have traveled around so much over the years you would think that he would have stopped by the North to check in on that...

  7. One Who is Many - [Worm / Game of Thrones]

    ... wut? I mean, there are parts in the story where I can squint and see where someone is coming from but this? This is the part they are concerned about? This was the most innocent, cornball crush that I can possibly imagine but they take issue with it? Would read.

  8. One Who is Many - [Worm / Game of Thrones]

    Oh he is just adorable. Is this moe? I think this is moe. This whole snippet had me smirking and chuckling but this right here had me laughing. Okay? Um... I think I've figured all the things in this but my brain is still full of fuck. Have I mentioned that your Sarella is just plain...
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