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[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>find someone to annoy to the point of murder Congratulations! Your author has gotten tired of this concept and never had a satisfying conclusion to it anyway, and has learned a valuable lesson about starting things without knowing how they end. Rocks fall and you die. Yes, in the middle of... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>go to work Hell no. You're trying to die and you still don't want to work retail. >step in front of a moving train Hey, there's an idea. You just need to find some train tracks or a station, and those are... uh... hm. Huh. Um, well. If someone asked you if there were trains in your town... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>provoke a rabid dog in a shelter You... don't think shelters keep animals that have rabies. It seems like the kind of thing that's generally ill-advised for people who aren't trying to die. Maybe you can find a stray? You can't remember seeing any stray dogs around, now that people are more... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>suicide by cop Ugh. If you want something done right, you're going to have to get someone else to do it for you. Luckily the police station is also fairly nearby... probably. You haven't had much prior cause to take note of where the police station is, but City Hall is closeish, so, uh... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>piss off a gangster You're an average middle-class citizen in an average suburban town. You have no idea where or how to find a gangster. Do gangsters even still exist? You have vague images of black-and-white footage of balding men with Ye Olde machine guns and cigars hanging out of their... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>go run in the street What, naked? That's a quick ticket to a psych ward. Better put some clothes on first. Plus, it's October and it's cold out. Yeah, you're trying to kill yourself, but you don't have to be uncomfortable while you do it. As you leave the building, you see the neighbor... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>take a bath with a toaster Honestly a bath sounds delightful. You climb back in the window, getting mud all over your carpet, and tromp into your bathroom to start the water going. Now, let's see, a toaster.... You don't actually own a toaster, but a toaster oven will probably work. You take... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>dig your own grave Well, there's no reason not to plan ahead. You start scooping dirt out of the garden, using your hands as a shovel. It's hard going. On TV it looks really easy to dig a big hole, but here there's roots and rocks and things. You persevere, but then you come up against... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
>jump out the window It doesn't matter whether you die in your pajamas, does it? You open the window, pop the screen out, and sit on the sill. Then you take a deep breath and heave yourself forward. Ow. Now you have a bruise on your knee. You guess that's what happens when you jump out of a... -
[Freeform] Kill Yourself (A Comedy of Errors)
You wake up in your average apartment and roll out of your average bed. You wonder if you have to work today, but then you remember: today's the day you're going to kill yourself! You don't have to go to work if you're dead. That's just logic. The only question is... how? [Write in. Try to...