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  1. [RWBY] Rusted Professor

    I like the general approach here i do, but jaune slipping up again with the names paints him like an idiot.
  2. [RWBY] No Victory in Strength (Minecraft Jaune)

    Unless jaune openly acts against atlas or looks to support salem, ironwood would not be a villain. On the contrary his initial characterisation is far more heroic than ozpins. Cinder is the type to smile and stab you the minute you turn. So charm yes, flirt probably not. QQ seduce definitel not
  3. Combat Medic (Pokemon/Naruto)

    Hope we dont need to wait another month or more with such a cliffhanger. Especially since it just feels wrong for anyone from naruto to be caught out by someone (presumably) not koga. Though fell into darkness is ambiguous enough that the meaning need not be unconsciousness
  4. Chapters of Doom (RWBY/MARVEL)

    A bit too much 'woe is me' for my taste. The start with summer was interesting and honestly all the backstory that was needed. The whole thing with the schnee had me rolling my eyes a bit. The section with penny was a bit weird as well. Its like you wanted to write 3 different stories instead of...
  5. Multiverse-Crafter [RWBY ISEKAI FIC]

    Not a fan. Its just a bit too much "i ignore everything you do because i am that op" and too little "i am actually skilled". Its feels a bit too much like a power wank where the author is gushing for two pages straight how cool and awesome their PC is and why every downside isnt actually one...
  6. A Tevinter Inquisitor (Dragon Age)

    Looking good. I did not expect an interestng fresh take after all these years
  7. Magic Knows No Boundaries But Those We Believe In (Harry Potter)

    Hmm. I dont really care about conrmtradictions per se, but more about the general thing. Adding things in fanfiction can go right but also very wrong. But ignoring the topic and potential issues of "its just a psychological block", i am always wary of authors trying to introduce "rules" to...
  8. Magic Knows No Boundaries But Those We Believe In (Harry Potter)

    Hm. The muggle/magic/dousing discussion was a bit weird. I dont mind the premise as long as you do something with it. Otherwise it makes for weird world changing for no reason at all
  9. The Shard Alchemist (Worm, OC)

    If you dont mind it i would suggest a poll, but even if not i will stick around to see if i can warm up to it since i came over from your previous work. It vould kinda change the tone, i guess ? Might influence people to "play" more optimally / be more callous / less emotional than 2nd...
  10. The Shard Alchemist (Worm, OC)

    Any chance of switching to 3rd person ?
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