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  1. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    "His eyes burned with intensity" - isn't a viable phrase, "Eyes burned with intense ___ (insert emotion here)" is but "burned with intensity" doesn't work cause intense what? Intensity is an adjective it doesn't have a meaning on its own. Additionally, even "burned with intense hate" is a meh...

  2. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    Different folks different strokes, I can't say what anyone would do in this situation, some couples get past cheating which still boggles my mind... , so it's not unbelievable, just not something that imho would happen in a day or two, like, right now them becoming civil is believable, maybe in...

  3. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    And I mostly agree (except totally absolving her of all her faults, no one mind washed her into forgetting he is married), you are correct on all fronts, and I didn't for a moment want Annie to get kicked around or punished, you made her sympathetic enough for it, just that expecting her to make...

  4. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    I frankly don't quite get your point, the cheater is always MORE at fault sure but if the partner in the cheating knows He/She is party to an affair He/She is very much at fault too, the way you are trying to say that "she doesn't know her"/"not the one who made wedding vows" and etc is...

  5. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    However you may try to spin it, it's still very hard to find Annie sympathetic in any way, she is the one who knowingly chose to cheat with a man... All the rest just looks like a "Boohoo woe is me, I am a piece of shit and feel bad about ittttt!"

  6. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    Ehhhhh chapter 24 is quite on the nose - he needs a crafting skill he gets a crafting skill. Personally I think it's a bad habit to get into, solving your mc's problems THAT easily.

  7. Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

    Reading chapter 11, I just want to note, I really hate plot lines like that with parents, the whole "We had to neglect you cause reasons" always feels so half assed, I mean, one just abandoned him and the other did the bare minimum and fucked off too, calling these people parents at this stage...
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