A Freeboota's Life for Me [Warning! Very Orky.]

[KitsuneObsessedFreak]

A Freeboota's Life for Me 01:
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Chapta da Furst Wan.
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Disclaimer:
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Happy April Fools!
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Also, this is a Commissioned work by Asdo21 with his remaining words from last year, since I'm pretty sure the person we had originally donated his leftover words to like, fucking died or is imprisoned in Venezuela.
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But hey! It's Fine. He would have wanted me to move on, and so this fic will be the replacement for We'll Gamba Okay until I have confirmation that bro passed on.
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This Story May Contain:
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Orks doing Orky things.
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Yup, that's it. No further notes needed.
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Enjoy!
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When Axe Sparrow woke up in the Mech-Boyz hanga that mornin', he felt a bit like he had become somfing a lil stronga. In fack, he fel' loike he was a bit more stompy, and strong enough to become the new capn' all by 'imself!

Smarta, stronga, and a whole lot betta than tha cap'n really. He knew he was gonna be in for a good scrap, and he was gonna make the best of it.

"Roight then! Toime to get krumpin'!" he roared, making his way into the bridge, where the cap'n was drinkin' grot out of some puny humie's skull like it was a propa drinkin' skull.

They were always a bit too small for 'im. He should 'ave gotten a betta skull.

"IronJaw!" Future Cap'n Axe Sparrow roared. "You 'aven't led us to a good scrap in weeks! I bet I'm a betta cap'n than you are!"

"You challenging me, Squig Crappa?" the Forma cap'n roared back. "We'll see 'ow much betta of a cap'n you are when you're bein' fed to the Squigs!"

Axe Sparrow was already coming in with a right hook though, stomping on the bigga ork's foot to deliva a massive uppa cut. Clearly the big boy didn't think he was gonna be scrapp'n with him today, as he didn' prepare a shoota. To counta his mech-arm.

The arm changed, the spinny blade coming from it to cut the big boy's arm off, but it caught the big boy's hand instead. An' it only got half of it.

"Oi! That's cheatin'!" the big boy yelled in pain.

And then he grew, almost the size of a warboss all of a sudden. "But I am stronga, so cheat all you like you filfy squig crappa!"

"Ahaha!" Axe Sparrow grinned, grabbing the bigga ork's face and slamming it through the shoota-armory doors. "You can't even fight back, so you're jus' puffin up!"

The IronJaw grabbed 'im, and threw 'im through the armory with a grin as he clicked his jaw, a burnin' lasa beam shootin' outta his face loike some sorta speshul attack.

He dodged it, and grabbed a big shoota, blastin' IronJaw's jaw off in an instant, before blowin' off his otha arm.

"Waaaaaaagh!​" the bigga ork screamed, lookin' a bit scared not that he was on the back foot.

"Waaaaaaaaaaaaagh!" he screamed back louda and longa, as he ran up to the dyin' warboss, and grabbed 'im, draggin' the Forma Cap'n through the side of the Rok.

"Yoo can'!" the Ork he beat fair and square whined like a Squig. "I'll kill ye next time!"

"There won' be a next time!" Captain Axe Sparrow grinned, his pet Sparrow Squig flyin' ova and landin' on 'is shoulda.

He dragged the warboss to the enjin room to burn 'im up, but one of the Weird-Boyz stopped him with a sign. "The Mech-Boyz be fixin' the enjins, dun wanna disturb 'em."

"Outta my way," he said, grabbin the Weird-Boy and tossin' 'im into the Weird-Drive as he slammed the Warboss' face into the enjin.

"Aaaaaaaah!" they both screamed, and he turned to look, watchin' as the Weird Boy was eaten up by the Weird-Drive, like he was some sorta tasty snack.

"Wut the zog is this?" he asked, picking up what was left of the warboss.

Well, he knew a few things about fixin' things as well, so he thought he knew exactly what ta do.

"Right then, if you don't start workin' right, I'mma krump you too!" he told it, just as the Mech-Boyz screamed at him to run.

But he wasn't no coward. And when it didn't listen, he smacked it with tha crispy warboss, causin' it to activate and—

He tasted his shoota, like the color yellow was a fruit. Gork and Mork paused and stared at him, giving him a thumbs up with big grins and wavin' at him… And then everyfing went so quiet.

And there was a new feelin' in the air. But it wasn' very Orky.

Onn'a the Mech-Boyz looked up at him with a strange look and asked. "What now, Boss?"

He smiled. "Well it's time for Cap'n Axe Sparrow to find us a good scrap, don't'cha think?"

"Zoggin roights it is!" Another Orky-Boy grinned from the doorway. "And there's a planet roight there! Why not that one?"

"Zog it, we scrappin' there!" Cap'n Axe Sparrow grinned.

Thus, began the tales of Cap'n Axe Sparrow.

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AN:
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Kitsu: …We're in for a Zoggin good time, ain't we.

Anyways, Yeah. Got commissioned for this, did my best to do Ork Speech despite not knowing jack shit about Warhammer, and well… You'll see what I had just started cooking up. It's going to be ridiculous, and glorious, and I hope y'all enjoy the stupidity.

And yes, this is full crack. No braincells were used in the creation of this fic.

If you want your own story, feel free to join my discord or dm me and chat! I've been told my rates are pretty good, especially because of all the ways I have to get discounts.

On top of that, I have a lot of authors and Artists who are absolutely golden, who need help affording groceries on my server, and rent. So please do join up and help me help them.

You can find us at my sever link via my website: https://aikoakiyoshi.carrd.co/