Absolute Wonder (DC Comics / Harry Potter)

The thing about this city is that everyone's a bad guy. There are absolutely no exceptions, because you're a villain in at least one person's story - even the legendary Batman could be considered a supervillain if you work for or are a criminal here. Despite that, everyone continues on with their life, doing what they have to do survive, thrive and achieve their goals. At the end of the day, who cares what a stinking Gothamite thinks? Certainly not me. That's why I don't have any scruples breaking in here.

I don't bear this 'magic shop owner' any particular malice - everyone's got to make a living, after all. Her store's trinkets look interesting and everything, but they're of little use, barely enough charms on them to even be considered magical. That's not what interests me, though. There's a door behind the counter that I remember felt...odd. There was magic radiating from the door, but not at all like the one in my wand, or in any of the little baubles that were on display - it felt dark, almost. Like how the older Aurors would describe the Death Eaters' magic back during Voldemort's war. The second one, anyway - most of the first one's veterans are either retired or dead.

The owl on my shoulder hoots impatiently, before I raise up a finger and rub her on the top of the head. Athena shrinks back and shakes somewhat, before jumping up from my shoulder and onto my head, stomping lightly.

"Alright, alright. Don't get your feathers twisted," I say, flicking out my wand from the holster on my wrist. Larch wood, with a dragon heartstring core, 13 inches and a rigid flexibility - not the Elder Wand, by any means, but it's mine, and it's served me well in all my endeavors. I trace the wand over the door handle in a circular motion, before bringing it down in a straight line. "Alohomora," I whisper.

The door's opens with a satisfactory click, the rusted lock sliding out of its position in the steel frame and causing the door to slide inwards slightly.

"Aberto," I say, this time with a bit more force, causing the steel door to slide inwards with a creak. I wince slightly, before stepping inside, Athena flapping behind me. She lands on a nearby shelf, slowing her flight with a bit of flapping, though that's also because she's a bit prideful.

She glares at me imperiously.

Okay, not just a bit. I reach into the bag of treats on the inside pocket of my Curse Breaker robes, throwing her one in the air, which she catches and scarfs down. Having placated the owl, I turn away and start scanning the area. No, nothing that I can see, but I am entering a supposed magician's shop. Perhaps there's some magical wards or something around here?

I raise my wand into the air, "Appare Vestigium!"

The spell extends outwards, covering the room completely. No, no magical sources at all - two doors, though. One looks like a janitor's closet and the other probably leads into the store, so that's where I'll go.

Athena lands on my shoulder with a hoot, dropping a little piece of paper in my hands, before pecking me lightly on the side of the head. I ignore it, unfolding the little paper. A skull drawing, attached to a little stick - curious. I pocket the note, patting the owl on the head for her help. She preens, before flying off to the steel door leading to the store.

Another incantation of 'Aberto' opens the door, and I walk in silently, my robes flapping in the air behind me. A collection of little trinkets litter the entire shop, all under the cover of some very fancy decorations that fit the aesthetic of what I expect muggles to think about wizards. Bit too much magenta covering, though. That just makes it look like something out of a Gilderoy Lockhart book.

Athena's picked up something. I motion the owl over to me, and it drops a small skull in my hands, complete with a candle flickering on top of it. Magical skull candle? I point my wand at the fire, "Aguamenti."

The thin trail of water extends from the wand, cutting into the center of the fire and engulfing the wick. The fire extinguishes for a moment, before coming back to life. Simple charm, was very popular back when wizards used to use tombs. The older families still do, I suppose, but most just bury their dead in their gardens and backyards. I put it down on a shelf next to me, before walking further into the main shop floor.

I raise my wand into the air again,"Appare Vestigium!"

This time, the room lights up with a bunch of very soft blue auras, all from the products on display. A typical wizard home would have a much greater light up, just from the innate magical aura of the place - this place's owner isn't a witch, or at least isn't a very powerful one. I shift my attention away from the regular lights around me and instead look at the basement door where I felt the darkness.

Red aura, very small but dense as anything. Some great dark power is simmering down there, but hasn't spent that much energy in this place - ancient curse being awakened? Promises of power are quite common, especially to weaker magical folk that don't know any better. Apprentices like me usually get foisted the smaller groups of people summoning dark powers - the senior Curse Breakers get the cults and the ancient tombs.

I walk over to the counter, stepping behind it. This door is bolted, and I think there's traces of a magical lock there - not a problem for anyone older than a third year, but I'm starting to think the people here haven't gotten any formal magical education. I trace the circle and line pattern on the lock, whispering an 'Alohomora'.

As expected, it rips through the little spell with ease. The door visibly unlocks, and the bolt moves to the side with an audible sound - this woman really needs to oil her hinges, the door is creaking up a storm. Athena stops her exploration of the shop and flies back to my shoulder with a little screech. She rubs her beak against the side of my head, before hooting softly.

"Ready to face some ancient evil?"

She hoots in confirmation. I start down the steps, wand facing forward, ready to vanquish anything that pops out. It's getting darker, even more so than upstairs - at least there was moonlight coming in there. Here? Nothing. Can't see two steps in front of me clearly. I move my wand in an upside down 'v', and the end of my wand lights up. Better.

Place looks deserted. Unpainted walls, wooden supports - barebones. Typically, I'd say that she just hadn't bothered to decorate this place, but recent experience in American tombs taught me better. Half the good stuff was hidden underneath buildings, and the owners weren't aware of it most of the time. The times they were, well, they never really turned out well for them.

No need to check for magical sources now, I think. Better to see if there's some hidden path or something that I'm missing. "Revelio!"

I can't feel any hidden pathways, but Athena's screeching makes me acutely aware of the presence of a person behind me, and the loud shot makes me aware of the fact that they just shot at me. I immediately roll to the side, the bullets whizzing past my ear. Athena swoops at the woman angrily, causing her to shoot at the owl.

My wand reflexes may not be at Auror levels, but I'm fast enough to save Athena. "Arresto Momentum!"

The bullets stop in mid-air. She drops her gun, in favour of shielding her face from the angry owl's talons. I pause for a moment, making sure she hadn't hit me anywhere - oh, scratched the robe at the shoulder. Oh well, it can't be helped. Better stop Athena from clawing her eyes out, though. I whistle loudly, calling out,"Athena!"

The owl pauses, staring at me owlishly, as she was wont to do. "That's enough of that," I call, "Leave the poor woman alone, she didn't hurt me."

She turns down to the woman, giving her a little glare, before flying back to me. I toss her a treat, which she scarfs down greedily. Right then, now about the woman - this place's owner, I think. Or did she just mind the front? Oh, she's reaching for the gun - don't think so. "Carpe Retractum!"

A rope of light shoots out from my wand, attaching itself to the side of the gun and pulling it towards me. I catch it in one hand, reeling slightly at the weight of it. It's not really heavy, just...heavier than I expected a gun to weigh. I shove it into my satchel, not caring about where it landed. It had an infinite amount of space within - it didn't really matter. Now, for the woman.

"Erm, I don't really know the best way to say this, so I'll just say it: do you have some sort of dark ritual going on down here?"

She clearly didn't expect that, if her flabbergasted expression is anything to go by. I stay silent, hoping that my imploring her to speak was visible - else this was going to get awkward. Fortunately, she took the hint and decided to speak.

"What?"

Unfortunately, it isn't anything useful. Well, best repeat myself. "Dark ritual? Around this place?" At her blank expression, I decide to simplify things a bit. "You summoning up something evil here, then?"

Fortunately, that seems to have gotten the message across. "What? No, uh, no-nothing here! Swear it!"

I sigh in disappointment. I'd actually been looking forward to finding a proper evil witch's home, complete with dark rituals and everything. I know MACUSA doesn't maintain offices here, and Gringotts won't promote me until I bring in something good. All I've got to show for myself are odd little knives and ornamental skulls. Should've headed to Kahndaq with Mister Weasley when I had the chance.

Before I can give this place another check, the woman starts stuttering,"You...g-ghost!"

I frown. "I know silver hair at my age isn't common, but I swear it's hereditar-"

"I believe she was talking about me."

I wheel around and come face to face with a floating white suit, complete with top hat, gloves and a cane. Can't see his face - might've died by beheading, one of the headless huntsmen? No, no horse in sight. "Oh. Well, hello there. Are you the evil power in this here building?"

The spirit folds his arms behind his back. "I don't know. Am I?"

I've never met a ghost outside of Hogwarts that didn't try to attack me. This is getting exciting! "How long have you been here?"

He takes out a handheld pocket watch from within his waistcoat and stares at it for a good moment. I lean over, trying to see what's taking him so long, but he shuts the watch before I can lay a hand on the translucent timekeeper. "Three minutes, now."

I smile at him. "Then you aren't," I start looking around the room, bouncing slightly on my heels before I look him in the - well, not eye, I can't see any - but wherever his eyes are traditionally supposed to be,"Would you like to help me find it? I suspect there's a curse and an evil entity around here somewhere."

I feel a sharp peck on the head. "Sorry, I meant would you like to help Athena and I find it?"

The headless figure stares - his equivalent of staring, anyway - at me for a minute, before chuckling at us. He lifts up his cane, before tapping it into the ground with an audible crack. "Sure. I've nothing else to do tonight - might as well do my good deed for the day," He lifts a gloved hand to me, which I shake. "You may call me Gentleman Ghost."

"Don't ghosts dislike monikers like that? Sir Nicholas definitely hates his."

"Sir...Nicholas?"

"Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpington, ghost of Gryffindor Tower. Most of the Gryffindors called him Nearly-Headless Nick, and he absolutely hates that nickname. The Bloody Baron only tolerates students calling him that because he forgot his name. The Fat Friar's much too kind and much too portly to be called anything else, but Lady Helena did so hate it when we called her the Grey Lady. Did you forget yours? Is that why you call yourself that?"

He turns, swinging his cane, aiming at one of the walls. "No, I call myself this because it sounds nice. In life, people called me Gentleman Jim, but I'm a ghost now, and Gentleman Ghost sounds better than Gentleman Jim, don't you think?"

"That it does." I turn, walking to one of the walls. I put my hand on it, attempting to see if I could find the familiar pulsing of magic. Not much pulsing or throbbing, just emptiness. It does feel like there's an empty space behind it. I raise my wand at it, taking a few steps back. I clear my throat, drawing the attentions of Gentleman Ghost, who swings his cane in the air.

"Have you found something?"

"I think so. Bombarda Maxima!" With those words, the wall explodes, bricks falling this way and that. I didn't expect the shockwave, which knocks me back off my feet. I hit the ground, the wind getting knocked out of my lungs. I feel a sharp pecking on my head, that doesn't seem willing to stop. I raise a hand to my head, but Athena doesn't relent, pecking my hand. "Alright, alright. Sorry, okay?"

Athena gives me one last peck for good measure, before nuzzling my hair. I push the owl away, getting up. "I swear, you're like my mum, you know that?"

She hoots in affirmation. I pick myself up from the ground, dusting off my Curse Breaker robe. No tearing possible, Madam Malkin made sure of that when I bought it, and nothing's fallen out of my pockets. Oh, looks like the woman with the gun has fainted. Shame about that - I'll repair the wall before I go and she can think it was all a dream. I don't think I should obliviate her, but then again, MACUSA could get on me for breaking the Statute. Yeah, I'll obliviate her before I leave.

Gentleman Ghost is glaring at me. I think. His body language doesn't imply that he's pleased, but with most of his body transparent it's really a guessing game. "Couldn't you have given a little warning beforehand?"

"You're a ghost! You don't feel explosions!"

He doesn't deem to grace me worthy of a reply. I blow out slightly, rubbing my eyes and look at the mess I've made. Brick, wood, and plaster are spread everywhere, having hit near every surface in this basement. Athena is...fine, I think. No particular injuries on her wings or body, and her legs are fine. She doesn't hiss in pain, so I think she's okay. I still hit her with an 'Episkey', just to make sure.

Standing up, I look forward at where Gentleman Ghost is standing. That...what in Merlin's name is that? I've never seen that beast before - if it even is a beast. It looks vaguely human like - except that it has red skin, is morbidly obese and more piercings than is necessary. That's not what interests me, however. It's what the thing is holding - a golden, bejeweled sword, and I do mean golden - entirely made out of gold, even the blade.

That promotion is as good as mine!

I approach cautiously, wand out and pointed at the demon-like beast. It doesn't seem to be waking anytime soon - I shouldn't grab the sword with my own hands, that's the first thing Curse Breakers get taught. Don't touch the potentially dangerous artifact without checking it for curses and traps. I point my wand at it, yelling,"Carpe Retractum!"

The rope of light shoots out of the tip of the wand, extending across the room and wrapping around the sword and tugging it. The beast's eyes open, and it stares directly at me. A new species? My friend Rolf would be ecstatic at that.

It leaps at me with an agility that belies its corpulent appearance, the sword flashing in an arc at me. I lift my wand up, roaring,"Arresto Momentum!"

It freezes in mid-air, having lost its momentum to sail through the air. It pauses for a second, almost like a character out of a cartoon, before it falls to the ground with a large thud. Gentleman Ghost swings his cane and shoots a purple ray from the skull on the head of his cane, striking the beast squarely in the centre of its chest with a purple blast.

It gets knocked backward, still not letting go of the sword. If I can include this memory in a pensieve, I may be able to get more value for this thing. It groans, standing up and raising the sword into the air. I point my wand straight at its hand, yelling,"Expelliarmus!"

The sword leaps out of its hand, spinning in the air and landing on the ground next to me. Athena swoops in, raking her talons across the creature's face, before diving and doing the same to its knees, causing it to stumble and fall to the floor. I wave my wand in a swooping motion, yelling,"Reducto!"

It gets blasted back into the wall, leaving a large and noticeable crack. It groans, but doesn't get up, so I move a bit closer and get a better look at it. It has human like features, but sharper teeth - like those of a werewolf's. Better capture this and ask Rolf about it later. I reach into my satchel for my camera, but before I can do anything, Gentleman Ghost starts yelling.

"What are you doing, boy? Get out of the way! That there is a child of Mammon - it's a bloody demon!"

I turn back, cocking my head sideways. "So it isn't a new beast?"

"New be-" He stops, putting his gloved hands on his face, pinching where the bridge of his nose would traditionally be. "No, boy, it is not a beast. It is a demon, and the sooner it is gone from this world, the better." He takes out a ghostly gun - a flintlock, I think - from...somewhere and points it at the newly christened demon, firing without warning at its chest. It groans in pain, and falls to the ground.

"Um, Mister Ghost?"

"Yes?"

"Could you not...kill it? I'm sort of trying to get a promotion with that sword there, and if there were a dead sentient involved then that just involves a bunch of paperwork I'd rather not do. If you already did, then could you not...mention this, to any wizard? I don't intend for the Rights for Sentients office coming after me for 'destroying innocent lives that protect ancient treasures' again." Bloody bats in those offices came at me for killing an inferius. An inferius, of all things! They're already dead!

If he had visible eyes, he would be staring at me. I shrug, dimly acknowledging the owl that lands on my shoulder and nuzzles the side of my head as I await an answer from the translucent, headless suit. In the end, he shrugs, holstering them in...somewhere, wherever he took it out from, I suppose. I smile.

"Awfully grateful."

The situation with the demon dealt with, I shift my attention to the reason I fought it, lying on the ground a few metres away from me. I walk over to it, crouching down beside it. Right then, what sort of curses and enchantments are you hiding? I trace my wand across its length, murmuring,"Revelare Execratione Maledicta Congessit, Ostendam tibi Custodiis."

Red mist starts floating up, whispering things into my ear. Okay, standard protections, curse the wielder for a hundred years with bad luck, the hand that lifts it shall be destroyed, all the usual stuff. I reach into a pocket on the side of my cloak, pulling out my bag of carved runes as Gentleman Ghost watches over my shoulder.

Okay, it's been cursed like this for more than a century, I suppose, given the age of this building and the fact that the owner wasn't aware of its presence, so radical change - chaos, even. Hagalaz should work - and Uruz, to cleanse and purify. Kenaz, so I can claim it and give it to the Goblins, and Thurisaz for good measure? No, Kenaz is good enough. I take out the runes required, taking care to use my gloved hand and place them down on the swords hilt and blade.

I raise my wand over the length of the sword, clearing my throat and yelling,"brjóta móttaka auðsýnn eigna!"

A brilliant combination of lights starts swirling all over the sword, rising up from the blade's flat surface and from my wand, mixing in the air. I continue chanting in ancient Norse, while the lights continue mixing. Athena stays deathly silent, remembering the last time she made a sound while I was disenchanting a cursed artifact - not quite so fun for her, learning how to live as a toad before I could undo the enchantment. Gentleman Ghost stays still, watching curiously at the whole ritual.

Finally, the lights from the sword turn from the chaotic mix of colours it was to a pure white line - it's still got its original enchantment, but it isn't the malevolent defense charms all over it that it was before. I grin at the sight, stopping the chanting and putting my wand back in its holster. I attempt to lift it from the ground with my hands, before realizing just how heavy it is. I raise it with a wordless levitation charm, raising it into the air with a satisfied laugh.

Promotions and Galleons, here I come!

 

Gentleman Ghost watches curiously as I flip the golden sword in the air, observing every angle of the bejeweled weapon. I stop, putting my hand in my bag and taking out the camera I'd hidden in it and point it at the weapon. Athena, seeing this as the opportunity it is, perches herself on my head and stays watching the weapon as I angle the camera to find the best angle for it.

A hoot.

"Alright, what about flat side up?"

She stomps a talon on my head, and I can feel her shake her in the negative.

"Perpendicular shift?, hilt and flat visible on image?"

A hoot of approval.

"You got it, boss," I say, as the camera flashes, illuminating the room with a blinding light. Athena flies down to the hilt of the sword itself, sitting down on the hilt, completely unbothered by the fact that the goblins will know for a fact that the treasure has been treated with owl feathers.

I give her a flat stare, and flick her on the beak. "You know that we get paid less if your arse has rubbed against the treasure!"

She gives me an indignant hoot by manner of reply. Suddenly, I hear a dry cough on the side and whirl around to face the invisible face of Gentleman Ghost, who is leaning with both hands on his cane. I think he might be eyeing the sword, but since I can't exactly see his eyes I don't know how to tell if he is or not - I'm not an Auror, I'm not trained to identify body language, much less in ghosts. Maybe I should address him?

"Erm..did you...want something?"

"That sword," He says, as he shifts his weight to one hand resting on the cane. "Might I have a look at it, for a moment?"

"Ah, no, actually."

His body freezes in mid-air, and the cane drops to the floor with an audible crack. Which is extremely strange, considering its ghostly, translucent status - might have to find a way to take that from him, to study the effects of ghostly weapons and their tangible nature in the real world. That might have to be a project for another time, considering I might have made a ghost livid.

"Being greedy, are we? Might I remind you that I helped you find this treasure?" His voice has taken on a low tone, not a good sign.

"Oh no, I get that," I say, slipping my left hand to my wand, pressed against my leg as Athena flies over to my right shoulder. "It's just that I dissolved the runes and curses on this artifact, and as per Ministry of Magic regulations on Gringotts Bank of 2001, as pioneered by William Weasley, the marks of Curse Breakers must always be handled by the supervising Curse Breaker on the mission, or failing that, by an Auror of sufficient mental capacity to properly handle the object. As I am the senior curse breaker in this situation, and you're well...a civilian? Or a beast, I'm not quite sure, will ask Rolf about that one, I'm under legal obligation to keep this safe."

I feel particularly proud about remembering that one. Uncle Rufus beat that one into me the first time I gave that herbalist woman in Romania the Shaman's Staff. Worked out well in the end, she doesn't look too much like a bat anymore, apart from the wings, but I hear she enjoys flying about these days.

Gentleman Ghost starts clapping. "Got that all memorized, have you?"

I beam, "Yes, actually."

He turns away, preferring to head towards the other side of the basement, "Did I ever tell you what I used to do, when I was alive?"

"I'm sure they were very beautiful."

I hear angry spluttering on the other side of the room, "Not that, you buffoon! I meant occupation-wise!"

"I've known you for all of a few minutes, so no, not really." I hear Athena chortling in her odd, choking hoots and grin, satisfied. I lift a finger up to her, and she nips it, before rubbing her head underneath it.

"I made my occupation on the roads and thoroughfares, offering myself as protection in exchange for noble rewards. I had what I wanted, and took what I did not have, and I lived my life for my pleasure, as well as of others." Oh. Oh. So that's why he was called himself 'Gentleman', huh? Odd choice of profession, but I'm not one to judge. I used seven years of a magical education to go about looting dusty old tombs and robbing swords from demons, and he may well have been good at his profession.

The ghost spins, his gun now in his hands, pointed at my head. "I was a highwayman. And none deny Gentleman Jim Craddock what he wants," He pauses, emphatically waving the translucent firearm in my face.

"I'm sure you were a fantastic gigolo, and you must've been brave too! On highways, no less, no lack of danger there. Not the most conventional choice, but Godric would've taken you right in had you had the slightest magical inclination, I'm sure," I don't know why he has the gun out, unless - oh no, I'm not into that at all. I don't think I'm very comfortable with this situation now.

He pauses, and points the gun at himself for a moment. "Do...do you not know what a highwayman is?"

"Yes, of course I do."

Athena is pecking me on the head, but it isn't as hard as her beak. What is she- Ah. She is slamming her head into my head multiple times. What did I do this time?

The ghost sighs, shaking his head at me and waving the gun in a frankly unsafe manner. "I rob people, you duffer. Rob. Burgle. Steal from, in case your tiny brain can't comprehend this. God, I knew there were people outside Batman and his brats, but if this is their caliber, I think I understand why I don't see them more often."

Fuck you, you impolite arsehole.

"Expelliarmus!" I yell, which seems to catch him off-guard, and hits him square in his gun-toting hand. The firearm flies through the air, and I point my wand directly at the sailing projectile, yelling, "Carpe Retractum!"

The light-whip flies at the gun, but passes through it and returns to my wand empty ended. Craddock starts laughing, as he snaps his fingers and the gun reappears in his hands, which he then points at me and fires.

It probably would've been suicidal to stop a bullet from a gun that my Carpe Retractum can't touch, so I jump to the side, the sword that I had held under a levitation charm clattering to the floor. Athena spreads her wings and flies right at the ghost, but passes straight through, shuddering visibly as she swoops about the room. Okay, the disarming spell caught him unaware, but when he saw what I was doing, the gun became intangible. Right, distract him.

"Avis Maxima!" I yell, as a veritable swarm of tiny birds fly out of my ring and fill the room. Just as the swarm covers me, I apparate onto the stairs that lead into the room, and turn towards the still struggling ghost. Athena catches my eye, and drawing out my plan for distraction, flies in the other direction, hooting and shrieking loudly. Ghost roars and raises his cane, burning a large group of conjured birds in a wave of purple spectral fire, but Athena is too fast for him to catch.

"Confundo!" I roar, and the spell strikes him square in the back, causing him to look around in - as the spell suggests - confusion. Taking the added advantage, I shift my wand in the complicated motion, and shoot a Confringo at him.

The destructive spell hits him as he turns to face me in his confusion, striking him squarely in the chest and he is pushed backward by a wave of explosive force. The walls around him blacken and burn, but he's merely blasted back, utterly unaffected by the explosive force that hits him. He's still disoriented, so I take the opportunity to shoot out an 'Incarcerous' to try and tie him to the wall.

I should've expected that he'd phase out of it. Must have more than his fair share of experience with ropes, anyway. The distract and catch unaware thing does seem to be working however, so I'm going for that strategy. I don't think I can kill a dead man, and I'm not as versed in exorcism techniques, so I need to take the sword and get out of here - I'll come back with someone from the exorcism squad of the team they sent here tomorrow, but this might have MACUSA after my arse again. I point my wand at a nearby stone that was displaced from the explosion, yelling, "Draconifors!"

The spell works exactly as intended. It turns into a moderately sized stone dragon - would it be a gargoyle? - and flies at the ghost, who fires shot after shot at Athena, who leads him on a merry chase. I shoot a 'Reducto' at his chest, blasting him back as the stone dragon lunges for him. The uncomfortable pulling sensation tugs on my navel as I apparate behind him, right next to the stone and send out a few sparks to Athena to let her know we're leaving.

She swoops away from Ghost's wild shots, and attaches herself on my shoulder, as I clutch the golden blade in my hands. I focus on the street outside - I am exhausted, and apparating long distances with little focus is basically spelling 'splinch me' - and pull both myself and my owl out onto the street. Behind me, the magic shop seems almost dead with how calm it is. Had I not been part of it, I wouldn't have known there was a fight in the basement.

I stumble over to a nearby wall, Athena flying off and landing on my knee as I slump to the floor. She twists her head in concern, but I just grin lazily at her.

"Could've turned hairy, that."

She gives me a flat look, as if to say, 'Could've?'

"We could've died."

She stares for another long moment, before turning her gaze away and shaking her head.

"All things considered, that turned out pretty well, heh. We got the treasure, and we both have all our limbs. Nothing like Romania, eh?" She gives me one of her trademarked flat stares, and I start chuckling, as I lay the sword on my lap. "How much do you think we'll get?"

She twists her head back and forth and I nod in agreement. You can never tell what the goblins'll think about a certain treasure - Albanian forest bark got me a hell of a lot more of a bonus than the Shaman Staff. Goblins are weird that way, most gold obsessed race I've ever met outside Constantinople and the Dwarves of Eastern Europe, yet they have weird values for objects that aren't gold - only a goblin knows what a goblin thinks, and I'm not one to question the person paying me when they're not breaking any laws.

I slide the sword into my satchel, where it slides in easily, and put my arms in, searching for my quarry, before I find it and pull it out, exposing its glory to the Gotham dawn. A Nimbus 2002, belonged to my cousin, he used to use it on his school team and was a damn fine seeker. Uncle Amos gave it to me the day he heard I made the Quidditch team, and I haven't let a splinter remain out of place on it.

I stand up, sliding my leg over the top of the broom before I feel a heavy arm on my shoulder, coming face to chest with a large man in a grey costume and black cowl.

"Oh Merlin."