Advice and Trust [NGE] Shadow Omake Thread

[The Englanderish]

Hello all.

This is a comedy omake I wrote for the Evangelion fanfic Advice & Trust thread but can't be posted on SV because implications.

It's kinda niche by nature so I don't expect anyone not reading A&T to get it.

So it's ending up on this wilderness of filth.

So without further ado:

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Rei's Pre-Emptive Strike​

"He will mind his manners. I do not trust him."

Shinji blinked, confusedly.

"Um... why?"

"I... would rather not say. But if he crosses me again, I shall go medieval on his derrière."

That earned her a raised eyebrow. Asuka and Shinji glanced warily at each other.

"Er..." Asuka began slowly, "what exactly do you mean when you say 'go medieval'?"

Rei fixed a piercing gaze upon Asuka; a gaze that set her on edge.

"The Rack. Iron chains. Hot brands. The propagation of my theism.

Powerful!

Crush the lesser theisms!

Conquer his hear- err… the galaxy!

Unimaginable power!

Unlimited rice pudding!

Etcetera!

Etcetera!

And Tabris submitti as my vassal. Yes. 'Vassal'. After all of the above.

…

Perhaps…

Even… continue the above… afterwards?

Spoiler: Yes… yess… yeeessss…

…

I'm sorry, what were we discussing again?"

Asuka, Shinji, Touji, Hikari and Kensuke were all gaping at her in a mixture morbid horror and complete, utter terror. The small smile on Rei's face would haunt them until their dying breaths. It even appeared that her monologue had not gone unnoticed. The entire class was staring too. Even the sensei had gone white and now stood dumbly behind his desk – his lower jaw hanging open.

---

Kaworu was pondering in the local park after school. He'd picked up a book from a local library and was perusing it. There came a small rustling sound from nearby.

He raised his head and looked about.

He appeared to be alone.

He resumed reading.

There was another rustle.

He looked up again.

Nothing.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

He received no answer.

As he was turning back to his book, he suddenly caught the sound of heavy panting. Directly behind him. He made to look but suddenly found a damp cloth clamped over his face.

-

Gendo looked over the report. His brow furrowed slightly. But only slightly. Kozo had long since learned to recognise complete shock in his superior when he saw it.

"A restraint chair?" Gendo finally asked, "but they are secured to the floor."

"Indeed," came the reply. "Section 2 reported its disappearance an hour ago. Also unaccounted for are several pairs of handcuffs, a set of tools from maintenance, spare chains from the repairs depot and a bottle of chloroform from the medical wing. All went missing within the last two hours."

If Fuyutsuki had been able to see past Gendo's glasses, he would have seen the eyes momentarily flicker to a draw in his desk. Specifically, the draw that contained his secret photograph of Yui.

Perhaps.

No.

He dismissed the silly notion at once. For a moment though, he had been vividly reminded of his wife's… proclivities.

Unless…

Perhaps… Rei?

No.

It couldn't be…

---

Kaworu felt woozy. Vision slowly crept back to him. Wherever he was, it was dark. He made to sit up, but his head was spinning.

He laid back for a moment, then tried again. Better. No more spinning – his angelic physique was doing him wonders. As he sat up, he heard a clattering sound. Come to think of it, there was a cold weight on each of his wrists. Looking down, he found that his wrists and ankles were handcuffed to chains. What's more, the was some kind of collar around his neck – connected to yet another chain.

'Hmm… is this collar going to explode?' he pondered.

And then he heard the heavy breathing.

The slow, deep, predatory, heavy breathing.

Kaworu slowly turned his head.

He appeared to be in some kind of abandoned apartment. Sitting on a chair about a metre from him was Rei, dressed in her plugsuit. The chair had several metal restraints, currently open. The chains that bound Kaworu snaked along the floor between them and rested in Rei's lap. Beside the chair she sat on was a side table, on which sat some kind of fabric wrap.

"Tabris," Rei began, almost breathlessly. "It is possible that you may present a threat to Shinji and Asuka. I cannot allow that. As such, I will bring you under my control. You will submit-" her eyes widened, a slight flush rising at her own words. "–Er… I mean you shall be dominated b- um… I shall… ensure your… obedi- no, no… your… servi- NO! Your… direct subordination to me. Yes."

Tabris regarded her pensively, his head tilting to one side.

"I see, Miss Ayanami. And how do you intend to do this?" he asked, seeming genuinely curious.

"I have been researching methods human females use to control males. My research was… most interesting. And insightful. The methods of forced submission are many. And very… involved."

Spoiler: She smiled. With teeth.

"My research indicates," she continued, her breathing beginning to quicken. "That the process is considered highly pleasurable by both parties."

She pulled on the chains and Tabris found himself dragged towards the chair. Rei stood and brought him to her feet. She pulled him up and forced him into the chair before he could react. Quickly, she straddled him and pushed him against the back of the chair. She began to lean close to him when she heard a click.

Looking down, she found one of the chair's restraints shut around her wrist. She blinked in minor confusion before staring at Tabris.

Tabris gave her a small smile.

"I too am curious on the topic of interpersonal human interaction. You are a very intriguing person, Miss Ayanami. I think we shall both benefit from this encounter. But won't we be discovered?"

Rei's grin returned, wider than before.

"Nobody shall find us here; this is where I used to live. The entire block is abandoned."

With her free and she reached over to the side table and opened the fabric wrap.

Spoiler: To reveal an array of… implements.

And then literally all of SEELE's plans went to complete shit.

The end.

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What the fuck did I just write?

 

[moonberserker]

It's really weird. But congratulations on writing it anyway.

 

[Jake]

It's always the quiet ones.

 

[The Englanderish]

It's always the quiet ones.

Click to shrink...

Is that in reference to Rei or me?

 

[Jake]

Is that in reference to Rei or me?

Click to shrink...

Yes.