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An Ibex's Rise (ASOIAF SI) "Old" rewrite is up on new thread

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Overlord66, Nov 1, 2022.

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  1. Threadmarks: 1 and 2
    Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    Also posted on my AH account Swaglord

    Prologue: A buck's fall

    location: Mountains of the Moon, The Vale

    Time: Andal invasion

    The Ibex slam into castle floor, the back of its head hitting so hard it saw burst of light, and then he's on top of it, blood dripping off his ruined beak, two hands squeezing the ibex throat. The falcon smiled. Tightening his talons.

    The Ibex shook violently under the falcon restraint as a sea of steel clashed with iron all around them. The Ibex reached for his waist followed by dull click. The falcon screeched as a dirk shot through his armpit and lost his grip. It was all the ibex needed. Capitalizing one the moment the Ibex reversed their position.

    Exhausted the Ibex brought down his iron again and again on the opposing falcon which followed by a loud clang as iron failed to breach steel. A hot searing pain overcome the Ibex as the world started spinning. In its last moment, it saw a knight with a sigil of bells standing behind his headless body.

    As the sun set over Mountains of the Moon, the banner of the Ibex slowly descended as the falcon banner soared high.



    Interlude: Past glories and a fools end
    Sir Greg was having bad day and his house servants seem to notice it to. His large hulking frame moved across the dimly lit halls of Castle Highcliff, each step announced his presence to the castle staff with heavy thud as servant scurried in his wake. His mood seemed to reflect the grey thundering skies above.

    Normally inheriting the position of head of the house should be an exciting if at least a joyous occasion for all heirs of the nobility, especially one as prestigious and ancient as his. Alas with the current state of his house affairs caused by his late dear father passing, there are now many matters previously left sleeping which now must be addressed by him. He only felt foreboding sense of dread and excitement for the road ahead. But as his house words “We are relentless” he was determined to guide his house forward to these troubling times with tenacity only a Highcliff could boast of.

    After Rolf Highcliff the defiant last Ibex and petty king over the Mountains of the moon was defeated by Artys Arryn at their ancestral seat Castle Highcliff, it came as a surprise to both andals and first-men alike when their house was spared by Artys on the condition of recognizing him as the first King of the Mountain and Vale while conceding land that Artys would later build the eyrie upon and finally Rolf only living child and daughter would marry Artys third son. In hindsight his decision at the time made sense.

    Rolf Highcliff had won hundreds of battles against Artys and his followers of both andal and first men alike. The climax of the last battle finally resulted in pyrrhic victory for Artys conquest of the Vale which would take a decade to start showing signs of recovery from, but at the end of the day Artys ultimately faced the same problem as Rolf, he lacked manpower. In other to compensate Rolf’s lack of manpower Rolf had force entire villages, towns and cites men, women and children alike to help in his war effort against the majority of vale. After Rolf were defeated there were only few hundred men and women left inhabiting the former petty king’s territory. Territory which now were left undefended and ripe for the taking with no neighbouring house having the capacity to occupy nor govern.

    Instead of ending Rolf line and splitting the land among his new vassals, Artys decided it was better to give his third son the lordship through marriage and with time give his descendants a strong ally to the Arryn power block. The resulting union lead to the future generations of Highcliff sporting the Arryn colours of platinum blond hair with blue of eye but kept their tall, muscular, and broad-shouldered ancestry.

    Over six thousand years, house Highcliff recovered at a snail’s pace due to mountain clan’s incursion and other houses preventing them to recover either through economic, diplomatic, or outright military by staging mountain clans raid to keep them weak. This would normally be stomped out by one’s liege lord however due to the estrange relationship between the Arryn brothers the support outright stopped when Artys first born inherited the throne which strained the relationship between their houses furthermore. This resulted in villages, towns and later cites sprung near castle highcliff since no one dared settle to far from the safety of the looming castle leaving most of the land deserted.

    After such a long time with his house balancing on a knife edge, Greg’s grandfather was the Highcliff who finally that restored the region’s population near the level of old days, and they could now host an army of 3000 men albeit poorly trained and equipped. Although Highcliff coffers where shaky at best his grandfather was confident that other houses mainly Belmore would be dithered from causing them any trouble now that they could the defend their land from further incursions. Finally, the Highcliff's land could continue the road to full recovery without outside interference. That was until his grandfathers passing and Greg’s father found himself at the helm.

    His father unlike the typical Lords of the Highcliff were neither tall nor brawny as common but instead sported a slim build of average hight. He has jolly man who always sought to please others and desperately sought validation from his peers. He thought the best way to accomplish this was to abandon his house first-men culture and become more andal by embracing the concept of chivalry and to be the dashing white knight that would swoon young maidens’ hearts.

    He Dressed himself in fine white silk and silver plate armour. Although he got validation, it was not due to his friendly disposition or his honourable way of life. It was the fact that more than not he come off as a fool or rather an “ibex with his head up in his ass” as lesser knights would whisper.

    While dashing and expensive silver armour is practically useless. Besides being easily distinguishable, it was weaker than iron which his house was known for even weaker than bronze! His father trotted on is white stallion in shining armour while often crooning about matters of chivalry to anyone who would listen lead him to be widely regarded as the prancing goat.

    Greg clenched his colossal fist, the thought of his father brought mixture of sham, grief, and anger over the slights he and his house reputation had to suffer after his father abandoned their old ways in exchange for rose tinted version of andals chivalry.

    My Lord!

    Greg was driven out of his thoughts by the two guards by his fath- or rather his solar. Acknowledging the two guards saluting at him with a nod, Greg opens the door and marches in.

    The room was large and bleach white, deck out with rows of bookshelves against the side walls. His eye zone in on his destination. A stone throne with its armrest ending with an ibex buck head placed on both sides behind a large ironwood desk. The wall behind throne unlike the bookshelf on the sides of the room had 7 full sets of imposing armour holding varied arms, used by the greatest Ibex kings of old, the last notably missing his helm. He slowly descended on his new seat and let a moment pass. Remembering both his grandfathers and the armours judging gazes whenever he was brought to this very room.

    The dream from the previous moon clouding his mind. Green sight dreams was something that should never be spoken with anyone unless it’s to family. The reason for this would be the strong presence of the faith of the seven in the vale. The faith of the sevens view on the old gods was hypocritical at best. Before the arrival of Targaryen’s, the worshipper of the old gods was seen as nothing more than demonic tree worshipper and high septon used their faith militia to uproot people they viewed as heretics. Highcliff territory had unfortunately suffered their attention throughout history until they learned to give them lip service to avoid further acts of zealotism.

    Fortunately, this ended when Jaehaerys I Targaryen the fourth king of Westeros, also known as the Conciliator, worked out with the Faith of the Seven for them to tolerate the continued practice of incestuous marriages by house Targaryen but also to ensure that the followers of different gods within Westeros would not be discriminated against, through the doctrine of exceptionalism.

    After Greg’s green dream of his house last battle against the Arryn’s of the vale the previous moon he could not keep his hand from his sword. Green dream and sight was a unique ability of the first men which allowed users to glimpse back to the past or even the future. Often green dreams happened instinctually, green sight was however the ability to use green dreams at will. Green dreams often have some form of meaning or significance to your present time or immediate future.

    Because of this Greg were constantly on edge. His father had on his previous hunt by a mere stroke of luck found a large iron vein, a mile from our border to house Belmore. To Greg’s growing misfortune his attempt to dissuade his father from building a mine until they could build a small fort around the vein or at very least wait until they had a trained well-equipped force to defend it fell on deaf ears. His father stubbornly reasoned that the mine would pay back all expenses in a year in itself and Greg's mere thoughts that it would be attacked by fellow valeman was preposterous!

    After Greg's father emptied their coffers on material, equipment, and men his father set out with a workforce of 100 men to build the iron mine. A week later Greg had his green dream and immediately sent scouts to check on the progress. What greeted them were the decomposing corpses of the would-be miners.

    After he sent the ravens of his father’s death, he received many formal letters of condolences one in particular from house Belmore with an offer attached. It could be summed up to that Lord Belmore was worried over house Highcliff imminent economic crisis and offered to buy the rights of the newly found iron mine in the light of his friendship with his father. If he hadn’t offered to pay the equivalent for near depleted iron mine his words would be seen as kind-hearted. Either way this confirmed his suspicion of his dream Greg mused darkly.

    However, as he thought of his plan his mouth involuntary began to form a small smile. Greg brought out his latest letter a broken falcon sigil of wax marked it from the Eyrie. Although the situation has turned into catastrophe, Even the steepest mountain could be climbed by an ibex. Afterall, with his numerous complaints of mountain clan raids over the years stacking up one the old falcon's desk, his father’s death would give him all the justification he needed. It is a shame that he cannot join Belmore and the rest of the vale in the defence of Jon Arryn wards, after all he must chase out the mountain clans off his land but more importantly avenge his father and it would be unfortunate if the mountain clans spill over to the Belmore land, unfortunate indeed . Greg filled with renewed vigour laid a fresh parchment on his desk and began writing his response to his liege lord, unknown to Greg his small smile ever so slowy began to steadily turn into a ear splinting grin.

    Author's note: Greg, the SI's future father seems to be as kind-hearted and honourable knight as his own father, no?
    Constructive criticism is always appreciated.
    Fun fact: A full discussion between Greg and his father was written but I forgot to save the draft :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 2, 2022
  2. KenKara

    KenKara Know what you're doing yet?

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    So is Greg the SI or the father of SI?
     
  3. Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    Greg is the future father of the SI
     
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  4. EchoDragon

    EchoDragon Experienced.

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    Seems interesting, will there be any fantasy elements or the SI having powers?
     
  5. Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    Asoiaf contains huge amount of diffrent types of magic, artifacts, mythical creatures and unnatrual events, which will be explored. The SI will have powers as for what? Only time will tell.
     
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2022
  6. Threadmarks: Notice: Rewrite
    Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    As many of you can tell, The Interlude was rushed. It will be rewritten to bring it up to my standard and follwed by a chapter of Bobby B + Ned in the vale.
     
  7. ATP

    ATP Experienced.

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    Good story,you need army? then train your peasants with longbows.
    3.000 - if you made half of them into archers,you could stop 3000 knights.
    For others who defend them- halbards,poleaxes,or warscythes.Yes,warscythes should be best - every blacksmith could turn scythe into warscythe.
    If SI have modern knowledge - made blackpowders,grenades,and use slings to throw them.

    And,for normal infrantry - plumbats.
    Late-roman throwing weapon - one could have 5-6 of them,30m range.Good against horses and people with bad armour.
     
  8. Амв

    Амв Getting out there.

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    Great joke. All the Europeans who tried unsuccessfully to repeat the English archers or Swiss pikemen are just stupid idiots. English archers are free people who have trained the skills of owning, maintaining and making bows for generations. Each archer had personal trainers from the older men of the family. They had access to natural laminate - yew wood. Culture of mass tournaments of archers with prizes. A cold weapon in the hands of a militia of commoners is almost useless against professional warriors. Knights have been trained by personal trainers since childhood, they have been eating well and have been selected in wars and tournaments for centuries - the strongest and fastest left offspring. They have high-quality armor, shields, horses, the ability to use weapons, knowledge of tactics and fortitude. The only thing that can equalize the chances of a crowd of commoners against an aristocrat is a firearm.
     
  9. ATP

    ATP Experienced.

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    That is why he need free peasants,not serfs.And yew existed in mountains.
    If SI would be his son,then father could made peasants free and teach them to schoot.
    Even if not,he could copy italian militias - till 14th century they were fairy good and capable of beating knights in open field.

    Basically,crossbowmens/every blacksmith could made it/,heavy infrantry,light infrantry.add plumbata and stokes against calvary,and you could fight knights.
     
  10. Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    Due to spoilers, I can't go in to deep on the current equipment of the Highcliff forces. But as Амв summed up, Longbows were very difficult to master. To the point that the skeletons of longbow archers are recognisably affected, with enlarged left arms and often osteophytes on left wrists, left shoulders and right fingers due to years/decades of use.

    Pikemen also takes time since not only must it have been terrifying to be in front of said formation, but it required incredible coordination, training, stubbornness, courage, and grit on the part of those soldiers’ carrying pikes. Said pikemen also needs to be heavily armoured or be easy picking for other missile units. let's not forget the time and cost it would take.

    There is also a fact that a certain goat has pranced away with most of Highcliff’s coffer and left them bare. Forcing Greg to make do with what his House haves on hand.

    Greg's character is "set" and has only known Westeros and its ideals. The SI on the other hand will have a modern perspective, but alas he is not born yet.

    As for blacksmith, Highcliff have many, but it takes time and coin to create weapons and armour which Greg does not have for now.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2022
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  11. Амв

    Амв Getting out there.

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    The problem is that the war in Westeros is small skirmishes between feudal lords and poorly armed robbers. No motivation, no needs. Knights, professional soldiers and mercenaries No one arranges genocide, if the feudal lords are too outrageous, the king sends troops to restore order. The only ones who are motivated are the residents of the Lunar Mountains and the lands beyond the Wall. If the main character wants a crown, then as soldiers, I would suggest highlanders. Give them wick arquebuses. 6 months have passed since the residents of Tanegashima Island (Okinawa Province) saw firearms for the first time before mass production.
    All attempts in Europe to create an analogue of the famous mercenaries failed. Even rich feudal lords could not find people and (or) technology of the right quality. For example, the artisans of Italian cities were behind the Italian crossbowmen. To create an entire industry with a lot of professional secrets and skills is a matter for decades. In addition, free armed men are a huge problem for the lord, his vassals and other feudal lords. Do you remember how Ser Grigor raped the innkeeper's daughter? Imagine that the Mountain was killed by free peasants. Tywin demanded the heads of the culprits or decided to punish himself. The most important thing is motivation. The Swiss became Swiss after meeting with the French "skinners". It was a famous squadron. Imagine 10,000 Ramsay Boltons. When the cowardly mountain bandits saw the result of the mercenaries' entertainment, the highlanders refused to retreat in front of the huge French army.
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2022
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  12. ATP

    ATP Experienced.

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    You are right about archers,he could train only small numbers of them.
    But,swiss were another thing - they were light infrantry with pikes,few helbards,few crossbows.And most do not have armour.They attacked very fast - and defeated all knights in Europe which they faced.
    Even hired english archers/by Burgundy/ which was attacked so sfiftly,that they do not have time to made formation and start schooting.

    They were defeated by Landsknechts only - becouse they were pikeman with half-plate and supported by many missile troops.Nobody have army like this in Westeros or Essos.

    So,you could get swiss-style infrantry for relatively small money.And ,they could beat anybody except heavy infrantry or archers with longbows.
    Habsburgs proved,that they do not need to fear knights.

    And,aside from that,he could train small cadre of archers,too.Even 300 would be enough to support his 2.700 pikeman.



    Yes,Gregor need free farmers,not serfs - and then he would get his swiss infrantry.
    Which,becouse they used cheap weapons and mostly not used armour,would be possible for him.
     
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  13. Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    To make it clear, Iam not disagreeing with you. The thing is as I said earlier that Greg (FATHER OF SI) has only known Westeros and it ideals, by that i mean economy, military, science and all other subject in Westerosi standard.

    Thus, he does not know of the Swiss Landsknecht. He does know about longbow from its use in the first blackfrye rebellion but since many more powerful and richer houses have already tried and failed, he sees it as a foolish endeavor which would cost coin and time with little to show for it.

    As for the current situation in the story. Greg is on the verge of bankruptcy and can't afford to waste any more time nor recourses. His only choice besides taking a loan with unfavorable terms is to use the "army" that his grandfather made. Said army would never be able to best the Belmore. Good thing is that Belmore is taking their levy to fight the dragons outside of the vale. Which make Greg's plan a little obvious.



    After Robert's rebellion Greg will have the time, recourses and coin to invest in his forces and it will greatly differ from the rest of vale and be similar to last Ibex king’s go to army to fight knights. The SI will naturally clash with Greg’s ideals regarding everything basically.

    Until our messiah is born, I ask you to wait for there will be a time when SI is lord of the HighCliff and improvements for the smallfolk will be seen more greatly.
    SIs knowlage is based on mine, which include the process of making a english longbow and some tactics for swiss pikemen. Something SI will look into since he in the begining will be a great defensive tactain but lacking in offensive tactics like me
    ps: knowing what you should do in a certain battle situation in theory does not always go well out on the field of battle.
     
    Last edited: Nov 10, 2022
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  14. Амв

    Амв Getting out there.

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    The Swiss were free mountaineers who had been raiding the plains for centuries. After the weakening of the empire, the raids intensified, detachments of several hundred robbers were too strong for one feudal lord. Morten and Sempach were the final stage. The Swiss were already experienced warriors with dozens of skirmishes and a personal cemetery for everyone. Complete ruthlessness, not to take prisoners and therefore not to surrender. To kill your friends and relatives for shouting in battles in order to maintain silence and controllability of troops - you need a very special psychology, you can't teach this. Where can the warriors of the main character train in insane cruelty? He will simply be torn apart like a rabid dog after the first attacks. Ordinary feudal militias are the limit for a lord.
     
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  15. Threadmarks: Notice
    Overlord66

    Overlord66 Getting out there.

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    Rewrite is up on new thread called,


    An Ibex's Rise (ASOIAF, SI Rewrite)
     
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