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Charm Learning Shard (Worm/Exalted) (COMPLETED)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Daniel Snuts, Apr 24, 2022.

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  1. Dakkah

    Dakkah Know what you're doing yet?

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    Sorry to break it to you champ, but according to OP this story will end as happy as Canon.
     
  2. ses

    ses Versed in the lewd.

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    Truth. The Simurgh as presented is literally God, and having her arbitrarily interfere is no different than saying "divine intervention!" to justify plot twists.

    This is the kind of author that gets a pride response from that, so that's just less likely to make it happen, lmao.

    Did Lisa coach her not to talk to Taylor to avoid getting soul's price'd?
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2022
    w34v3r, Saltade, OldSpartan and 10 others like this.
  3. Zxzx24

    Zxzx24 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    Oh goody!

    Mmm. At the same time it's kind of her job in any given story. To be a plot bandaid.

    Feels kind of silly to have her monofocus on Taylor.

    The Simurgh has hobbies! And maybe a boyfriend! Let's get a day in the life of Simurgh interlude.

    One where she wakes up, makes sure to feed her pet Goldfish (Taylor's favorite. Trauma flakes) and then spends the rest of her day on non Taylor centric schemes to torture people.

    Would have been nice to see more from Lisa too. Aside from her borderline servile interactions with Taylor we really don't know much about what she was doing. Makes her feel like a prop.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2022
  4. klattmose

    klattmose klattmose

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    Did neither of them think to have Taylor shapeshift into Lisa form and infiltrate that way?
     
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  5. Vealie

    Vealie aspiring overpowered amazon

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    Rip in piece Lisa

    Taylor's support network, such as it was, is just vanishing at a rapid pace. Oof.
     
    Lis91, Saltade, OldSpartan and 7 others like this.
  6. wigg55

    wigg55 Not too sore, are you?

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    I got bad new for you, author kinda confirmed the opposite is gonna happen.
     
  7. queermunist

    queermunist Cummunism Will Win!

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    Honestly Lisa is better off this way. In her words, Taylor is a bit of an awful bitch. Being another of her slaves is probably as bad as being Coil's pet. It's not like Taylor would think twice about enslaving Dinah too. It's not like Taylor is above torture either.

    Mercy kill.
     
  8. zapking5

    zapking5 But I don't want to have a title!

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    Can't Lisa just ignore his call, and then they attack at the scheduled time? Why are attacking early and calling it off the only options?
     
  9. Fernando

    Fernando Part-time Loaf

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    Yeah. Lisa likes living and not going into the forever box, but after having figured out that Soul Price quite literally gave Taylor a leash on her soul, I can imagine this kind of scenario would've also been a bit of a win for her.

    Not great or ideal, but like the saying goes, "there are fates worse than death."
     
  10. Kennethil

    Kennethil Not too sore, are you?

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    That's an excellent point. Maaayyyybe her slight brute rating would give the game away as soon as the torture started?
     
    DigBickBaddy likes this.
  11. Jajasx222

    Jajasx222 Getting sticky.

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    There were like 50 other ways to beat coil with taylor powers, and even ways to save lisa in that situation easily, buuut noooo, no shepashifting into lisa, no literaly killing coil in a microsecond before he could even think to use the gun...
     
  12. Whitesnake Pelinal

    Whitesnake Pelinal Like a dream without a dreamer

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    The Simurgh does have non-arbitrary goals in the setting. One of the ways it could respond to an Exalt, or Gamer, or some other exponential-growth threat, would be like in this fic. Tear them down emotionally, steer beneficial influences out of their life, and pinball them through a bunch of minor targets on their way to Scion, so as to ensure that whatever is left over won't be in a state to interfere further.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2022
  13. Kennethil

    Kennethil Not too sore, are you?

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    Soul Price loyalty degrades with bad treatment though, so the prospect of escape is far from hopeless.
     
  14. ses

    ses Versed in the lewd.

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    If the Simurgh is breaking the supposed fair play rules she set up for herself than literally nothing in the setting matters. She can do literally anything with no chance of failure. She's God. There's no reason for her to not just brainslaver the relevant individuals directly. She can mind control everyone at any distance on top of anything else she pleases.
     
  15. John Doey

    John Doey Making the rounds.

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    As awful as Taylor is, being a particularly useful slave doesn't seem that bad. Alec is enjoying himself at least, even gets his own slaves!
     
  16. zapking5

    zapking5 But I don't want to have a title!

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    Well, at least Taylor might become Dinah's pawn instead of the Simurgh's now?
     
  17. Whitesnake Pelinal

    Whitesnake Pelinal Like a dream without a dreamer

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    I don't see how the Simurgh broke masquerade. It got its shot at Taylor fair and square in Ottawa, gave up or delayed whatever target it had in Sydney to do so. Everything from then on can be precog pinball.

    Side note: Dragon said "before 2:07", Taylor got out on 2:07, and with Dragon orchestrating things I'd wager the soldiers got the same notice. Did all the nice soldiers just let an off-by-one error slide to delay their incipient crimes against humanity?
     
  18. GiantAnteater

    GiantAnteater Know what you're doing yet?

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    Ughh, Simurgh and Contessa being assholes to people while making them squirm isn't an entertaining read. With the (pseudo) Exalted powers in play I was hoping to see them neutralized, but it seems that it won't be happening.
     
    omni001, PeriodicPedant and ses like this.
  19. Zxzx24

    Zxzx24 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    I mean yeah, but at the same time...

    It's tantamount to her declaring Taylor the single most important thing in the world.

    To make her the main focus.

    Which is just...

    Eugh. When the Simurgh is already so close to being an authorial mouthpiece. (Which she was in worm too)
     
  20. Dakkah

    Dakkah Know what you're doing yet?

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    Joy has a lot of free time for her antics, 2-3 performances per year: Who knows how many irons she has in the fires since she's unlikely to need sleep. (As for the Name reveal, that might've just been a "For whom it might concern" kind of thing, people that get it feel targeted those that don't won't really see anything deeper in it.)
     
  21. Vealie

    Vealie aspiring overpowered amazon

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    Zizplots are sadly a ball and chain around this fic's ankle.
    Worm is at its best at the human/street level.

    Superpowers breaking society over their knee is just a better story than Ziztessa gambits, sandbagging kaiju and an extradimensional physical god.
    I'm surprised more fanfics don't just handwave away all the really high level stuff.

    Cauldron existing in a different form, with many of the same characters trying to avert the (para)human apocalypse rather than the brainlet alien one, isn't a bad thing. Anti-heroic illuminati paternalistic plot to save people from themselves and fucking up royally would be very in keeping with the tone of a more humancentric Worm.

    A while back I was outlining a worm/the boys crossover setting where it's a superpowered civilisational train wreck entirely of human making.

    No Entities
    No endbringers or interdimensional plots at all

    Tinkertech isn’t blackboxed but Tinker knowhow is not propositional knowledge
    Anything sufficiently advanced may as well be magitech for all normies can understand it
    Each tinker is developing a new tech tree with very little overlap
    Reliability that comes from mature technology isn’t present
    Field testing prototypes to satisfy the conflict drive results in a lot of breakages
    Reed Richards is useless in full effect

    Compound V
    Cheap to synthesise once you know the trick
    Vought tightly controls access to knowledge about the synthesis and manufacture of V
    Takes out people who discover it
    Mature capes generate & excrete (piss) low quantities of V - build up in food chain
    In the distant future the % of Capes will approach 100%

    Vought big bad
    Natural Triggers help obscure the secret of compound V
    Despite Vought’s efforts knowledge of the existence of compound V is out there but far from common
    Akin to Taylor not really knowing about trigger events before a conversation with the Undersiders, it’s just not widely known
    Vought have pushed the ‘unwritten rules’ at a time they were concerned about their very expensive assets being killed in gunfights
    Unwritten rules suit most capes pretty well so they’ve gained an inertia all their own

    Natural Triggers
    Similar to worm: trigger events possible within a decade of the first heroes appearing
    Cape population growing exponentially
    Conflict & Power experimentation Drive
    Amy Dallon esque breakdowns possible if ignored.
    Power usage is inherently satisfying, far less so if repetitive.
    Most capes are high functioning addicts within a year.
    Thinkers can get by on social combat by and large but have their foibles
    Accord would be a particularly severe example
    Tattletale’s need to needle people & be the smartest woman in the room is more typical

    Powers slowly get stronger over time in addition to regular gainz from conditioning
    Brute ratings act as a multiplier to physical condition - scrawny teenage brute isn't coming close to getting the most out of their power.
    A Thinker who goes from untrained to trained may see great initial growth in physical capabilities but would only experience the baseline few percent a year for their main power
    As with unpowered training gainz rate falls off quickly and very few attain the equivalent of an elite gymnast or bodybuilder physique.

    All capes Brute 1+
    Comic book peak human/Captain America tier at minimum on top of primary power.
    Very difficult for experienced normie fighters to handle inexperienced capes in melee.

    Looming breakdown of society
    Growing numbers of cape adrenaline junkies & malefactors fraying the social order ala Worm
    Superpowered gangs
    A - S Class threats like Heartbreaker
    Cape population rising proportionally
    Cape powertrips/bad behaviour ala Boys
    Sex clubs & drug abuse
    Hypocrisy
    Accidental deaths
    collateral damage
     
  22. ses

    ses Versed in the lewd.

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    Also I had been looking forward to Taylor showing off the rat!kitty to Lisa, and now that's not gonna happen.
     
  23. Zxzx24

    Zxzx24 I trust you know where the happy button is?

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    If only Taylor had someone big and fluffy she could turn to in this hour of need...

    Oh right.
     
  24. Ruy

    Ruy Know what you're doing yet?

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    I honestly thought this would have been the plan. It is incredibly obvious considering the tools Taylor has available.

    I honestly feel like, it is ending up with the plot finding excuses for Taylor not to get a useful power. She could have easily captured Coil and gotten that SMA charm.
    Why not just commit suicide and avoid the torture then?
     
  25. AppleGrowth

    AppleGrowth The story to the name is best left unsaid.

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    This is just….I’m done. I just can’t. It’s just getting depressing now.
     
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  26. Whitesnake Pelinal

    Whitesnake Pelinal Like a dream without a dreamer

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    But isn't a new Exalt exactly such a threat to the Endbringers? Other threats have been around longer and either were eliminated or mitigated.

    An Exalt can get the powers to do that but Taylor hasn't yet. If there's a silver lining, it's that navigating around unknowable things is difficult and even the Simurgh cannot do it perfectly, so it cannot perfectly block Taylor from getting any of the 'right' charms to defend or heal herself. But, ya know, grimderp.

    Yeah, was looking forward to a lot with Lisa... probably why she had to die now. Lisa could have done so much to help Taylor understand and exploit the more esoteric charms.

    Sucks also that it's one less vaguely sympathetic viewpoint character. There aren't that many of those now.
     
  27. passislisk

    passislisk Know what you're doing yet?

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    Actually beyond Taylor level stupid to let coil fire the gun as opposed to just popping him. Boring resolution that feels like a complete lack of payoff for the coil scene buildup.
     
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  28. Dakkah

    Dakkah Know what you're doing yet?

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    Honestly wouldn't be surprised if she saved TT in the other timeline, but jumped the gun by killing coil. A snatching defeat from the jaws of victory kind of thing.
     
  29. Whitesnake Pelinal

    Whitesnake Pelinal Like a dream without a dreamer

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    That would fit. My favorite theory so far is that Aisha decided to swoop in for the big kill without asking, but I'm convinced that something is due to go wrong involving her simply because she was off screen so long.

    Is the only acceptable payoff a clean win? I mean, there are literally a hundred fanfics where Taylor and Lisa thread the Coil+Dinah needle cleanly and without loss.
     
  30. Paralein

    Paralein Not too sore, are you?

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    Same. Aisha has been off screen way too long, there's definitely something coming up. With Fenrir out of the picture Taylor also has lost all protection from a sudden Aisha betrayal, and her getting fucked over by trusting a mysterious note handed to her would fit the whole "Taylor is not allowed to have things/persons she trusts" thing going on.

    Although I'm really not sure how Aisha's loyalty apparently degraded so much so quickly, even without a direct betrayal coming up. The note she gave Taylor and her ghosting her for so long are already weird.
     
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2022
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