Existential Dread Discussion and Help

[Azerick]

So this thread is for discussing any existential panics anyone here has been having, talking these things out tends to help a lot and this thread allows people who don't have people to talk to or are uncomfortable expressing themselves like this without at least a veil of anonymity to protect themselves with.
Thought it might help anyone who's going through one of these.

I'll go first, as my recent one is what inspired me to make his thread, after all.
So I had a moment, earlier yesterday when I realised that no one is going to remember me after I'm gone.
My family will, but I have no place in the history books, I've made no great works of art or entertainment, I've made no discoveries, I don't stand among the great people who are remembered by everyone. And I just had this horrible realisation that I'm going to leave nothing behind when I'm gone, no one remembering me but my family who will likely pass on soon after, losing even that hold in the world.

It just filled me with this deep dread, I don't know why but I'm terrified at the thought, I'm panicking and generally feeling atrocious.
I've never really been scared of death, but I've always had this slight fear of leaving nothing behind, but it seems to have erupted now and none of my usual coping methods are really working.
I feel like my life has generally amounted to nothing, not even a bullet point in history, not even in history.
Sorry if I'm not explaining myself that well, I've never been good with words.
Anyone got any advice?

 

[Valette-Serafina]

Anyone got any advice?

Click to shrink...

Consult an actual specialist, if possible. You cannot confirm the qualifications of anyone here, and should not take any advice given without serious consideration.

---

Setting aside the standard warning that should always be remembered for such matters, it may be helpful to remember than while nothing is permanent, there is value in impermanent things.

Things are not significant because they were recorded. They matter to the people involved. You may not write the next Iliad, but you could write something that makes someone smile when they need a smile. You may not paint the Mona Lisa, but you could draw something that means far more to someone close to you.

You exist, and that matters to the people around you. Even those you only meet in passing. What you do matters when you do it, and the aftereffects of your actions may reach further than anyone could predict.
That may be no comfort at all to one who wants to be remembered, though. My apologies.

Once again, while I don't know your circumstances, I do recommend that you speak to a professional of good repute.

 

[Azerick]

Consult an actual specialist, if possible. You cannot confirm the qualifications of anyone here, and should not take any advice given without serious consideration.

---

Setting aside the standard warning that should always be remembered for such matters, it may be helpful to remember than while nothing is permanent, there is value in impermanent things.

Things are not significant because they were recorded. They matter to the people involved. You may not write the next Iliad, but you could write something that makes someone smile when they need a smile. You may not paint the Mona Lisa, but you could draw something that means far more to someone close to you.

You exist, and that matters to the people around you. Even those you only meet in passing. What you do matters when you do it, and the aftereffects of your actions may reach further than anyone could predict.
That may be no comfort at all to one who wants to be remembered, though. My apologies.

Once again, while I don't know your circumstances, I do recommend that you speak to a professional of good repute.

Click to shrink...

Thanks for the advice.
I don't think I need a professional just yet, but if I get these periods of existential dread more often I'll start considering I more seriously.
As of now I'm pretty good at distracting myself to prevent the panic starting to settle in, it's just that when it does it stays for a while.

I'm not entirely sure why I have such a fear of not being remembered, but I think I've mostly figured it out. My brain, for some reason, doesn't seem to think my death is my death until the memory of me is gone, not sure why, but it seems to me my fear of being forgotten after I'm gone is essentially my fear of death manifesting very oddly.

One of the issues I have is that... this is a weird way to put it, but I want to be remembered as me. Not as that guy on the internet who drew that art, who wrote that story, but as me, because living by a false memory is like dressing up a corpse and pretending it's alive. But I know that's impossible. I'm a private person, I don't share myself with enough people, by which I mean the actual me not the me I present, and even if I did manage the great work I wish for, I likely would still not be remembered as me.

I think back, on all the people forgotten through history that we don't remember. People have left art everywhere yet I doubt we know the names of random Greek potter numero 29. And while I know the circumstances are different, the internet allows us to keep information much more easily nowadays, but fear isn't rational.

I'm really not explaining myself well, sorry, it's nearly time for me to sleep and I've only got like 4-5 hours the last two days in total.

 

[Biigoh]

I should note that life is like that, you get born, you live, and then you die.

That's all everyone gets.

What you can do is do things, try new things out, experiment. Yeah, the connections you make won't lost... the things you make won't last... the best you can do is try for immortality via descendents if you can't make great art or write epics...

 

[Valette-Serafina]

I don't think I need a professional just yet, but if I get these periods of existential dread more often I'll start considering I more seriously.

Click to shrink...

As with all medical matters, early intervention is always more effective. At the very least, look at your options.

One of the issues I have is that... this is a weird way to put it, but I want to be remembered as me. Not as that guy on the internet who drew that art, who wrote that story, but as me, because living by a false memory is like dressing up a corpse and pretending it's alive. But I know that's impossible. I'm a private person, I don't share myself with enough people, by which I mean the actual me not the me I present, and even if I did manage the great work I wish for, I likely would still not be remembered as me.

Click to shrink...

No one is, really. We remember people like Hypatia or Newton or Beethoven for some of what they did. We know a touch of trivia about them, though it's buried in rumour and forgotten.

But who they were as people? Not so much. Only they knew that.

We all wear masks, all the time, taking them off only to don different ones. People are too complex to record, not with the measures we have today.

And we change. In a decade, you probably won't be the same person you are now. At the very least, not entirely.

I'm really not explaining myself well, sorry, it's nearly time for me to sleep and I've only got like 4-5 hours the last two days in total.

Click to shrink...

It's a complicated subject. Further, that's not a decent amount of rest. If that's caused by stress and worry, you should absolutely see a doctor about it.

 

[Azerick]

No one is, really. We remember people like Hypatia or Newton or Beethoven for some of what they did. We know a touch of trivia about them, though it's buried in rumour and forgotten.

But who they were as people? Not so much. Only they knew that.

We all wear masks, all the time, taking them off only to don different ones. People are too complex to record, not with the measures we have today.

And we change. In a decade, you probably won't be the same person you are now. At the very least, not entirely.
It's a complicated subject. Further, that's not a decent amount of rest. If that's caused by stress and worry, you should absolutely see a doctor about it.

Click to shrink...

Yeah, it's one of the sadder facts of life, in my opinion. Everyone deserves to be remembered.
Oh and by the way, it's not this that's making me lose sleep, I've always just got those weird bouts of insomnia, it just flared up recently