Fate/Last Heaven (FSN with a Sassy OC)

[JBukharin]

Some words before the story begins:

People that follows me on FFN might recognize this story as I had left it in Hiatus a few months ago and... I kind of was having problem keeping it up with the current schedule.
Now that I got freer with stuff, I decided to give it a try and push for a second draft of the story altogether.

The story itself will have some serious changes as I will give it some improvements with how better my writing has gotten.

It isn't 100% perfect grammar-wise, nor I think I will update constantly like usual with this story. I will see it conclude properly without giving up too much into the Gary-stueness that kind of ruined my mood over it, nor I will be too brutal with MC and the other member of the cast.

P.S. There is no Yaoi pairing, but I will play around the concept for some time. No, I don't have any Yaoi Ship in the Fateverse (LeGasp!).

Fun Fact: A year ago or something like that, I had planned to make a Renpy VN out of this story. I had some drawings made and I was able to munch properly some of the code there, enough to make a proper game out of it. I think the major issue was that I wasn't satisfied with the coloring of the drawings since it was my job and... I suck at Art in general. And thus it was abandoned (Lecry!)!

And now with the story starting... here!

 

[JBukharin]

Chapter 1: A new day!


Homurahara was one of the greatest institutions in the area in the Kyushu Island, and possibly one of the most important places here in Fuyuki City,


A good school that would see many students leaving with the proper pedigree to become future businessman and politicians.


It was also the place where I studied, which made it 10% cooler just with that.


But maybe some introduction is needed before I continue with this tale of utter defeat and immense annoyance (but also a sprinkle of novelty and friendship!).


Name's Sean Graham, average teen assigned to Class 2-B, and I was not liking my current predicament.


Not at all.


"Are you sure this is a good idea, Ryuudou?" I complained with a certain childishness.


I was trying my best to deter the bespectacled moron to leave me alone, especially with how dull and boring he was.


My whine didn't slow the resolve that exuded from the glass-wearing class president, in fact in his silent pacing I couldn't help but sigh at the lack of verbal response.


"I mean, I'm not good with menial stuff if it's not cleaning or-"


"Stop sprouting this nonsense, Graham," He stated with a stern tone, a chill going down my back as I was not expecting this little development. "You have skipped school twice this week and Fujimura-sensei has asked me to choose a proper punishment. So you will help Emiya-san."


A groan started to build up in my throat but died as another whine was instead released.


"You know that I've some work after school and I seriously think my boss is a sadist with how he handles my insane schedule and wage," I explained with a huff, eye-rolling at she sigh coming from the stiffy fool. "I mean, if there is someone that you should be concerned about, I think it should be Taiga! Shouldn't we be concerned about the curious smell that resembles alcohol that she has on herself once in a while-!"


I stopped as I noticed Issei taking a pause his walk, turning his head just enough to show a serious glare directed at me.


Oh my!


"Graham, you are not funny and I will remind you that Fujimura-san is a respectable teacher," The monk-boy replied coldly. "So please, cease with this childish behavior or I will be more than happy to suspend you from class and pass this matter back to Fujimura-sensei."


In a general circumstance, I would have called bull on the threat, knowing well enought that the prick wasn't that much prone for such aggressive actions towards fellow student.


Yet I flinched at the strange hint of genuineness in his voice, feeling it way too much deadly at that notch to risk falling in that situation.


Something that reminded my instincts that humans can and will always be able to become 'ugly' when the situation called it, especially when sass pushes them to salty levels.


I shrugged at him, conceding some silence to the boring youth so that he could enjoy this empty victory.


Was it worth risking to get in detention with Taiga? Fucking hell no.


We finally reached the classroom that was being currently used as a makeshift workshop by the 'Fake Janitor' of Homurahara, a certain red-haired student that just couldn't see how he was literally doing some serious job without getting paid.


Ladies and Gentlemen, Shirou Emiya, the densest boy in the classroom and my stalker!


Seriously, I hate my life...


"Emiya-san?" Issei was the one to call out the distracted redhead before I could have hidden away from his line of sight.


The boy turned to look at the two of us, his hands still working on the small machinery the school council had tasked him to repair and he blinked.


"Oh, Issei-san. I didn't expect to see you-" He greeted back, tensing a little as a small smile appeared on his face when he spotted me. "A-And you are here too, Graham-san?"


I groaned back at him, feeling my own soul collapse as the smile on the Emiya's face widened at the situation.


This was truly escalating in quite the horrible circumstance to face.


...Oh? You want to know why this is 'bad bad'? Well… too bad, not in the mood to explain it and, if I have to be honest, the least I think about it the better.


But I will just say that my hatred for the lucky idiot is connected to the big Fire that burned my family about ten years ago.


Now, now... it's no time to brood or to mourn the little life of the orphaned Graham-senpai-san-kun. It's best to focus on the present right now.


As the present was already crap enough for me.


I was sure going to regret everything now that I was stuck in baby-hell with the most moronic basta-


"Emiya-san, might I speak with you... privately?"


Meh! Like if I cared what Monk-boy wanted to discuss with his boyfriend.


Still, I had this little sensation that the hellhole I had been thrown into was starting deepening more and more, but couldn't pinpoint exactly why.


The hopefully-not 'make out' session lasted around five minutes as Issei muttered a quick 'good luck' to the now-approaching red-haired boy.


As if I was the true problem here for anyone...


Well, I may have caused some explosions during the first lessons of chemistry by the first year here at Homurahara, but it certainly was forgotten since it's been like what one could define 'millennia ago'.


I mean, who would come to hate an innocent orphan like me?


Sarcasm aside, I found myself facing the ultimate obstacle to have a normal day and I felt like things were far worse than I expected them to be.


"Seems like you are stuck with me... Graham-sa-"


"I don't shake hands," I interjected coolly, glancing away from him.


Shirou stopped, looking blankly at his own hand before retracting it.


"A-Alright! Then you can help me with-" "detonating some private property?"


I admit my own sadistic streak in these infuriating moments was usually shining this brightly and I almost grinned giddily as I saw the Emiya stared wide-eyed.


Hook, liner...


"T-That's alright! You can just... sit here and assist me when I need it, okay?"


SINKER!


I nodded and proceeded to take a quick seat by one of the empty seats, with my cheek kissing the cool texture of the small wooden table.


In the matter of a few nanoseconds, I had already left 'crappyworld' for my happy place.


Or, like I nicknamed it, the place [beyond bullshittery].


I know, I know, one could ask 'what is the originality of this place'?


Be me, an angsty-filled seventeen year-old dude with an unhealthy dose of hatred aimed at the world itself.


Ah... the sarcasm, so nice...


Twenty minutes of pleasant recharge later and I felt an unfamiliar hand started to pull at the collar of my uniform, prompting me to collpase the warm, pitch-black mindscape of mine.


As my mind registered the 'issue', it was soon listed in my memory under the incredibly mismanaged 'Emiya' folder I had left somewhere there.


My eyes opened calmly, a grunt signaling the moron that I was not in the mood to be poked nor I will be in the next eternity.


"Y-You shouldn't have fallen asleep-" He tried to chide me, but I merely shrugged.


"Dun't care!" My exclamation was one of absolute victory as I had indeed skipped dealing with Emiya for this stupid punishment.


Sure, I might get called out tomorrow when the redhead would tell what happened to Issei, but for now my concern was elsewhere.


I stood up and away from the boy as I started to make way to the class' door, ready to leave this building and proceed towards where my next stop before going home was.


"And after that pleasant napping, I feel ready to take on cleaning that blasted church and dealing with that insane prie-"


"Y-You can't!"


The half-yell coming from the 'Fake Janitor' took me by surprise since I had known my personal stalker more than enough, way too many years actually, to not expect him come up with such a loud voice.


I had been encountering this moron daily for the latest 8 years and in no debacle the red-haired half-janitor had ever raised his voice in my presence.


He never had the backbone for that… until now.


"Emiya, differently for people like you, I have a job to go to-"


"Issei said he was going to push for your expulsion if you didn't help me until the end of the day."


...


Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh HELL "NO!"


Despite my evident disapproval at this revelation, I was already following the inwardly-celebrating Emiya towards the exit and I was confused by what he would say after this..


"What do you mean we are going to accompany Shinji's sister?" I inquired in a blatant display of utter shock. "You mean to tell me that he has a sister? Are we talking about the mentally-impaired Shinji, right?"


Shinji Matou, professional douchebag and failure of the world, was a Master of Dickery and Annoyancery.


And that was me coming up with the best compliments for him since it wasn't that much difficult to see what kind of sick fuck the bastard was.


He was one of the various reasons why I refused to even consider joining the Archery Club since he was some 'big guy' there, but the issue stemmed from the fact that he was overly-arrogant about his little success.


Said little success was also limited to very basic school stuff, nothing of noteworthy or that warranted that much gloating.


Quite the vainglorious moron.


Pricky as hell but easily refused by the same girl, the one he had so many times tried to 'conquest' as it was 'natural for them to be together'.


If only Tohsaka could be actually a normal girl, that is.


'Attractive', studious and she was considered most renowned model student in our school which wasn't truly a difficult achievement considering the lack of initiative from the large majority of students.


Despite the feud between monk-boy and I, there was a bet that breached our hostilities and it was about the twin-tailed girl.


Issei had long suspected that she was some witch that just had some supernatural, I was 58% sure she was an Alien/Robot which could explain how she managed to resist the stressing nature of the ambitious expectations built by her classmates over her rise to the newer heights.


Since I am a man of science that didn't believe in magical bullshittery but understood the impossible effort put forward by the girl, I was sure that she was some government's robot sent here to investigate the city after the mysterious Fire.


About that half-assed lie regarding 'major gas-leaks explosion', are we sure that it wasn't not aliens?


I mean, wasn't that the same excuse used in Harry Potter to cover up strange activities?


"S-Shinji is not too bad and Sakura is a nice girl," The Emiya continued nervously. "Also could you please be gen-"


"Gentle with her? Emiya, I didn't know you were this kind of forward with people!"


My serious-tease tone caused Shirou to skip a step, a full-face blush spreading the effectiveness of my tease.


"S-Shut up!"


I would have replied with a quick 'Sure!' but I soon found my eyes fixed on a new target that was now close to us both.


Sakura Matou was just two years younger than us and yet she easily managed to beat all the physical attributes that Rin Tohsaka had which could be considered 'attractive' by half of the male student population here at Homurahara Academy.


She had a petite stature, quite normal for someone her age, with her plum-colored hair reaching down by her bottom and…


She had been gifted with a C-size bust!


Holy Jesus! Maybe that is the reason poor Shinji had been so desperate to find a girlfriend!


He has a hot bombshell as a little sister, poor bastard was just broken by the fact that he had been outmaneuvered in the genetic race.


"Senpai!"


And she was giving the kindest smile I had ever seen in my whole life and it was directed to Shirou!


Did that mean that the red-haired boy wasn't actually gay and having a one-sided crush on lil' old me?


"Hello Sakura."


My happiness and celebration died in that moment as I grimly noticed the restrained tone in Shirou's greeting which meant he couldn't see that she was showing a little more affection that friendship.


...The danger created by this stalker had not been vanquished, it seemed...


"A-Also it's nice to meet you Graham-san..."


She didn't offer a handshake?


She was already several steps above Shirou in the top ten least hated people and maybe she could reach the acceptable people's top ten.


"Nice to meet ya," I greeted back with a chill tone.


She nodded calmly, surprisingly not seeming bothered by the need of understanding my sassiness.


I found myself actually concerned about this instance as this has happened in the last decade.


A human being was not worrying about me? Is the world coming to an end!?


But instead of bothering around too much by the entrance, we were already moving away from the school and right on the track to reach the girl's home.


The walk proved to be actually shorter than I had expected and I partly droned off while Sakura voiced her surprise in her Senpai's accompanying her back home.


The Emiya calmly replied with the 'killer on the loose' excuse, which surprisingly got me frowning about.


Somehow I felt that this particular excuse was far too weak to be used in this circumstance since the murderer had hit just a few times now and with quite a distance of time between his attacks.


Plus, since the police was already hounding him down, they wouldn't try and get easy targets like Sakura walking alone as they would feel it be more like an ambush from the cops that waited to be enabled.


As we finally arrived to the ancient mansion that was supposedly Sakura's home I was the first of the group to notice the bald figure watching us from afar and... Hans, pass me der flammenwerfer!


The old man seemed ready to die there with his wrinkly, fugly face and sickening yellow teeth.


Was he even alive?


"Sakura, please enter while I deal with those youngsters."


Aw hello nop- Wait!


You want to 'deal with the youngsters'?! I hope you got some moves, gramps, 'cause I'm kicking your ass if you dare to come any closer-


"Matou-san, we were just escorting Sakura back home because of what is going on with the recent murders."


Damn it Shirou! You and your impeccable sense once again cock-blocking my undeniable badassery!


The man 'eased' his posture and gave an 'appreciative' smile to the redhead.


"Good," He said with a mindful tone, still showing some 'kindness'. "It's nice to know that youths nowadays can be gentlemen to women."


Yes, excellent, now- can we go away from this horror situation, Shirou?!


Thankfully enough for my nerves, the chat didn't prolong for too long and we were once more back on the road and away from that decrepit sack of bones.


"Since this stuff is done I can go to my bloody job!"


Shirou hummed before pausing at my words.


"S-Sean, I know I already told you this but if living alone-"


"Nope! Not interested!"


The Emiya's hand was suddenly gripped sternly at my shoulder to stop me from bolting away, the same that was currently ready to turn and elbow the bastard for grabbing me like this.


"You cannot live alone, Sean. Even Taiga said-"


"She can said whatever she wants but it's my final choice to decide, Emiya, as my real parents said in their last will."


The cold verbal jab actually caused a flinch to spread in the red-haired boy's face and his grip relented as I got out of it with a mere shake of my shoulders.


Unwilling to deal with the annoying debate, my eyes searched for a way out. Something that could work as a distraction to shake him off completely.


And a way out I found in the form of the small white-haired girl walking calmly towards us.


She looked to be unaccompanied and far too young to be wandering alone.


Welp, time to go a 'good deed'!


"I think you should go now, Emiya, or Taiga is sure going to storm your home for dinner or other stuff."


The boy frowned at my sudden mood swing.


"What do you-"


But I was already pacing away from him and walking quickly towards the happy-looking, distracted child.


Now that I was closer to her, I paused for a moment from interacting with her as I was fascinated by her small hat and coat colored with the same dark-purple shade.


"Good evening, kid," I mirthfully greeted, trying my best to not appear too creepy with how the setting currently was. "You know, you shouldn't be alone at this time of the day all alone."


Instead of jumping at the sudden interaction or even stopping in fright at my towering height, the girl merely… smiled.


"Good evening, Onii-chan. And yes, I think I know that I shouldn't be alone at this late hour."


Confident as hell, that's interesting.


Should I be worried for a quick and wrongful intervention from Chris Hansen? Hopefully, it wasn't going to be the case.


I crouched and started to whisper to her while pointing at the frozen and confused Shirou.


"I need your help in getting away from that schmuck. If you do that I will show you the greatest place of the city."


The little girl hummed, eyes closed as she pondered of that proposal.


Maybe I should have bribed her with candies or- actually something that didn't make me appear like a pervert.


Seriously, why did I try for this route- I could have-


But before I could have let my doubts led me away from trying this little predicament, her rubies were once more staring at me, almost shining in childish glee.


"Alright!"


This is… unexpected. But I wasn't going to whine about it.


"Good!" I confirmed with the same amused tone, before turning my head and attention right at the red-haired young man. "Now you can go Shirou, I will have to help this kid around while you deal with Teach- 'kay bye!"


And thus I started to pace faster away from the Emiya, the white-haired girl beside me continuing to giggle as she firmly keep holding at my left hand during the whole sprint.


But before I introduce you to my 'special place', I think I should give some background about it.


During my moments of utter angsty and desperation in the last few years, I would frequently find myself wandering by a particular part of the city where one could easily see the most beautiful sight of Fuyuki.


While there were many lights coming from the Western section of the city that completely hid the stars from being seen from there, the old part of Fuyuki didn't have the same kind of illumination and thus gave the opportunity to stare at the beautiful sea of bright dots that covered the night's sky.


It wasn't a unique place as there where several benches placed there by the local administration for tourists and fellow citizens to see the spectacle.


The foreign child stared in awe at the sky, her legs kicking the air in her seat.


"I know right?" I commented over her wondrous glance up above. "It's quite mesmerizing."


She giggled and turned once more to stare to me.


"This is the best, Oniichan!"


I hummed quietly at her, now my eyes looking at the pretty scenery.


"I-I actually forgot to present myself," She said shyly, her voice was filled with little sadness but I just shrugged at her.


"I don't mind. Everything is easy when you just don't go formal all the way. Name's Sean, by the way."


She mouthed the curious word that was my name a few times before nodding.


"Okay, Sean-nii. You may call me Illya."


I smiled absently at her cute introduction.


"That's a nice name. It's easy and feel nice to say."


She smiled widely at the compliment, staring at my face just briefly before speaking again.


"Sean-nii?" Illya inquired quietly. "Why did you want to avoid the other Oniichan, the… silly-looking one?"


I thought about it, if I should really answer that simple but irritating question.


Still, it was a kid. A polite and cute one to that.


"Shirou was trying, with the best of his intentions I'm sure, to deprive me of the only thing I can call my own after losing my parents," I replied with a quiet voice.


There was a moment of silence… that the girl interrupted with the same soft tone.


"And that is?" For some reasons her voice felt like it had turned to be... less childish, more mature.


What an odd detail… but I gave it little mind as I was distracted by the new query.


I always reflected how to call what I had left, what kept me from just falling into the abyss and I came up with a nice name for it.


"My peace of mind. My capacity to care just for myself without having to fear losing someone else."


...


...


Silence fell between us and I returned to stare at the stars.


I felt her body moving closer to mine and I saw her small arms wrapping around my waist, failing to completely wrap around me in a tight embrace.


Still, I moved a little to have my left arm to wrap around her shoulders and pull her closer. Now that was something of a proper hug.






"You are too nice, Oniichan."


And then she whispered something that I couldn't hear because of the wind coming towards us.


I noticed that she had made a mistake with her wording, maybe she had yet to master Japanese fully as I could still feel some cute European accent in each of her words.


"You are nice too, Illya-chan."


I would have died if someone had heard or saw what was happening in that moment, my reputation couldn't just thank this kind of stuff, but...


Nah. It wasn't like she was going to remind it to anyone he knew.


"Thank you for showing me this spot, Oniichan!" The little girl happily stated, retreating a little from the embrace. "I will cherish it forever!"


There was some seriousness in her tone and I just nodded.


"Hope you will."


She giggled and then let out a cute yawn, to which I blinked with a hint of concern.


I was a little worried that if her parents, or whoever her caretaker was, noticed that she was still out late they might end up seeing me as a responsible for some kidnapping.


And I don't want to met the legendary Bubba.


"Wanna get accompanied back to your home?" I asked softly, trying my best to appear nice before the child.


There was a time to be a dick with people that could take it, and then there was being the 'good guy' with those that didn't deserve to be treated by the utter jerkiness that I was.


Illya smiled, her eyelids half-closed because of her sleepiness but she managed to give a nod.


Leaving the little spot, we started to make our way back through the forest of Fuyuki, which… was supposed to lead to a very particular part of the city.


Which was the castle.


I had initially expected that the little foreign girl had been living in one of the various hotels in town where tourists usually lived in, but our small walk took us going for a stroll in the forest just a bit outside of Fuyuki and to the entrance of the... castle?


"You live over, Illya-chan?" I asked with incredible shock dripping from my words.


The child giggled at my tone, this time softier than before as she was fighting the drowsiness away.


"Yeah, I just arrived yesterday and…" She paused a little to yawn, but I stopped her from continuing by patting her head.


"You sure you don't need to be escorted to the very entrance?"


The girl paused but shook her head. "Nah... I'm fine. Thank you for the offer, Sean-niichan."


A jerk I might be but having little kids walking alone was kind of overly-dicking.


Yet for some reasons I could fathom, I felt compelled to let her go alone up to the main entrance.


Still, I kept watch of her until she reached the massive door and turned around to walk back home with the intent of going to sleep mysel-


...


Wait, did I forget about going to job today? Wasn't I supposed to be there… two hours ago?


...


Fuck it, I will explain myself to Kotomine tomorrow.


The fake priest can go eat a sock after the crap I've been put through today and frankly speaking I didn't have to keep a clean frequency for the already weird job.


Even a sassy boy like me needs some beauty sleep in this crazy city.


And boy, is some sleep going to be a must with what was going to happen very soon and… No, I'm not going to tell you what is happening. Go and see next chapter instead of naggin'!


-------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d-d


AN


Yesterday I spent about two hours and a half watching Lost Butterfly with my sis and… boy, I forgot how cool the Heaven's Feel movies were.


I seriously hope that Netflix from where I live get the license of dubbing the third movie faster than how it did with the second movie… 'cause now I want to see what kind of ending they have planned.


I'm really hoping that Nasu allowed some modifications over what is supposed to happen, at least with some of the aftermath.

 

[JBukharin]

Chapter 2: Lottery of Murder (1)


"This time I have a real reason why I've skipped work."


Oh boy, how should I describe the immense dread I was feeling while staying so close to this creepy place?


Do I even have to explain why I hated all churches without distinctions?


Big buildings with incredible internal-external decorations that easily appeared like pretty things to look at during daytime, but once the night fell those would turn in one of the worst locations to be wandering around.


Now, it's important to say that that the creepiness factor behind the church itself was subjective as I've heard of people somehow endeared by the quietness and lack of crowds that the nighttime allowed them to have.


To… pray and all of that stuff.


But the thing I can certainly find as an objective reason to be around this area of Fuyuki for too long was the 'humble' host of said building.


Someone that represented the kind of strict holier-than-thou preaching that no one in particular found likable or even easy to listen to without flinching.


Which is why, finding a job here proved to be not only good news but also a scary and 'oh my god, this is a horror movie' kind of development.


Seriously, I could easily and shamelessly admitt that even the Monk Boy's temple-home, with its monk people and overly-friendly father, was much better than this old decaying building that I was supposed to work within.


"I remember you using those very words just last week, Graham-kun," The dark-haired priest replied silkily, dark eyes staring blankly onto my face. "I also remember hearing that you had been bragging around about having 'fooled me' with this excuse."


Kirei Kotomine was the most frightening piece of the rotten structure.


A man that seemed to have just two expressions in his arsenal, proving to be so emotionless and lacking of any concern a normal priest should be sprouting about in their sermons.


Impassive and creepy, sometimes even mixing the both and creating the most horrifying look one could be subjected with and, much to my immense displeasure, I was the one to receive those the most because of this job.


Yet I was inwardly relieved by the fact he was set in his 'blank mode' and seemed quite calm despite the annoyance hinted in his words..


"I was pulled into some shady business and forced to abide under a thug for a whole day."


It was the truth, only changed to make me appear as I truly was back then.


A victim of a system ruled by morons.


He frowned at my description, but then a creepy smile crossed upon his face, warning me of an incoming creepy moment.


Also, before I forget to mention it, yes Shirou had tried to find me after school-day for the whole punishment stuff.


Sadly, he failed to predict that I much preferred making use of a nearby window to leave the Academy instead of dealing utter boredom and annoyance he was planning to dispense for how things had gone yesterday.


Thank God said window was by ground level and I didn't need to pull any risky maneuver to get out of that troublesome instance.


"And?" Kotomine pressed, bringing back to the discussion.


I shrugged at him, thinking that some more 'truth' could do the conclusive job of getting him off my hide.


"I guided the child of some rich, European couple staying nearby," I stated while humming quietly, then I paused for a brief moment as I remembered something that had got me thinking later that night.


"By the way, Kirei, you told me that the castle deep in the wood hasn't been owned by anyone for decades now," I moved the discussion to this topic. "The child I had to accompany around asked to be left by the big fortress there and I saw some lights on in some of the rooms."


"Is that so?" He mumbled quietly, his eyes adopting a fascinated glint.


His smile widened a little, enough to send some chills down my spine.


"Did this 'child' perhaps have white hair and red eyes?"


I blinked and stared confusingly at the man as he pointed out the odd details that were Illya's. And he was a priest.


"Kirei, I remind you that Japanese cops aren't going to ignore any creepy priest activity about children," I darkly replied back. "I mean, you might be some big shot with some members of the town's administration council, but that is a big no-no."


His eyes widened, brief surprise breaking his face in a rare moments of shock.


"I-I would never-"


"Don't care," I interrupted with a huff. "Just don't even mention this again, don't try to do any crap about that, and accept the excuse regarding yesterday."


He frowned at the last bit, his lips pressing in a thin line as he pondered well over the matter… before ultimately nodding.


A pensive look appeared on his face as the man pointed his finger at the broom near the hallway leading to the inner courtyard of the church.


I gave him a nod before making my way right inside the open entrance of the building, ignoring the fact that the priest was now looking right where the forest was.


I couldn't just be bothered right now, and I knew that Kirei wasn't that 'creepy' about people.


I picked the instrument of mass destruction that I was most accustomed with and proceeded to start my glorious duties of house cleaning!


To my dismay and disappointment, my wish to experience a simple, relaxing day at work and away from any hindrances failed the moment I saw a certain Golden Moron approaching from the distance.


I sighed and turned to stare at him, waiting for him to get close enough to speak.


Gilgamesh, or Gil, was what Shinji Matou probably craved to be but already knew he would never be able reach because of a massive difference in terms of of cockiness and grammar assholery.


The blond was an idiot, thus the nickname I had provided him since day one.


The reason for such harsh judgment from my part?


"I see that you have been put back to your rightful place, mongrel," The blond-haired, red-eyed young man stated with a hint of gloating. "I hope that you finally understand that this is your only chance at life.


I smiled sweetly at his 'nice' words.


"And I see that you are still trying the whole jerkier-than-thou act as usual, goldie."


His red eyes widened in brief fury at my comeback, yet not even the burning fire behind those orbs fazed the smug grin latched onto my face as I got the reaction I wanted from him in that instance.


"Always belittling your superiors," He continued with a scoff. "You are just a shameful mutt that can't truly understand where you truly belong in life."


"If this was the case, Gil," I replied calmly, almost giddily. "Then you should have just stayed in your room- oh sorry, in your kingdom while people enjoy their lives away from your radiant comments."


Some might be wondering why we were already debating so heatedly without even a main topic, and the answer might catch people off-guard by how idiotic it is.


Since the day we have met each other, we have been playing this funny game between us in multiple occasions.


A game where the Golden Moron would end up getting pissed at my sarcastic rebuttals, but he wasn't allowed to actively do anything aggressive about it.


He knew that reacting violently would make him appear as if he had lost any of the arguments we were so quick to dispute about.


When Emiya mentioned that there was a 'unique' friendship between himself and Shinji, he sure failed to understand the real nature of their relationship because of his density.


The rivalry between me and Gil was actually easy to understand and explain as it could be described in few words.


It was equally frustrating and refreshing.


Harsh word was met by harsh words, poison with poison, and hand-grenade with hand-grenade.


Heck, the moron would actually 'demand' my 'presence' for some help with the few coop games he had stacking in one of his room's corner.


What was more surprising of these situations was how the priest barely cared if I skipped work for a reason related to Gilgamesh, which proved that there was something strange over his stay here.


Another mystery was why Kirei decided to let Gil stay to live in the church, knowing how much of a bratty teen the bastard was and how limited the man's patience truly was.


The man was seemingly one that made terrible decisions without an apparent reason, even with his obsession over that Mapo Tofu spicy crap.


"By the way, mongrel," The Golden Moron resumed the discussion with a sigh. What would you do if you were given the chance of making a wish coming true… without having to face any rules?"


...What a very, very odd question.


Especially since it wasn't related with what we had just spoken about


"Possibly have the best castle in the world," I muttered with a shrug. "With tall and thick walls to keep Emiya and Taiga away from me, maybe infinite supplies of food and goods and.. every. Single. Videogame!"


I was smiling giddily the more I unfolded this thought out loud.


That was the best a sassy boy like me could wish in his life and I was surprised when Gil merely nodded at it without inquiring for more.


"Interesting wish."


After saying this, I saw him turn around and walk away, leaving me with a confusing sense of dread.


"What was that even supposed to mean?!"


My yell seemingly fell on deaf ears and, a few moments later, I resumed my chores in blissful.


-----------------d-d-d-------------------d-d-d----------------------d-d-d----------------d-d-d-----------


"He will make a good Master."


Kirei blinked curiously at the sudden statement, carefully eyeing the King of Heroes as he strolled inside the main room of the Church.


"Graham-kun?" The man hummed quietly, almost intrigued. "He does seem to have the qualities to become a Master but any Servant would still be an issue to us all if-"


"You misunderstood my words, Kotomine. Also, cease your faux bravado as I can see through you craven mind."


The priest's eyes widened at the threat behind the brief glare coming his way, forcing him to nod.


"U-Understood, my liege."


Gilgamesh smiled at the submission and he finally sat upon the altar, only to look down upon the empty man before him.


"Sean Graham would possibly be the best Master for me, Kirei," The Archer-Class Servant declared with utter conviction. "Not only is he malleable to my desire, but he will prove to be a jester funnier than Tokiomi."


…


"My liege, I apologise if I disappointed you so much-"


"Be quiet, Kotomine!"


Silence fell upon them, red eyes chastising the impatient man.


"You have served me well, Kotomine, but I found myself bored out of my mind by the lack of action that this decade has been," The King of Heroes explained quietly. "The Grail War is around the corner and I want to fight her once again, in equal grounds and not as a mud corpse."


Kirei's hand shoot up to his chest, where his second heart now beating calmly.


"You are going to be bestowed with my mercy to survive as you have been faithful to me until now but I decided against rewarding you more as for your actions in the Fourth War."


The Archer looked at the Command Spells on the priest's hand.


"Tomorrow morning I shall commence a special ritual to contract myself with Graham and I will not accept any interruptions."


The man grimaced, feeling like he was going to regret accepting this but nodded at the request.


"You shall not get disturbed, my liege."


Gilgamesh grunted and left the priest once again alone as he retreated back to his room.


Kotomine sighed tiredly as he glanced at the statue of Jesus Christ with a bored look.


Now, what was he supposed to do with his plans regarding Bazett.


-------------------------d-d-d---------------------d-d-d-----------------d-d-d--------


"Geez, that creepy priest could have told me that this storage room had gotten so filthy after last week."


Seriously, why there were so many storage rooms in this small church?!


My journey forced by my impressive task of cleaning up the place took me right in the backstage area of the building, where Kotomine would leave unused furniture and other stuff that he didn't need to use in the present.


My main target was the massive concentration of dust and cobwebs that had been growing near the center of the room, forcing me to ditch my broom for a brief moment to move some boxes and create a path to the zone in question


I shan't ever let the dustland prevail!






As I made my way towards the middle of the room, I paused the moment I felt something small under my shoe and, as I stared down and picked up the little thing, I found myself stunned by what I had just found.


The metallic capsule was shaped in the form of something fairly familiar for a Gamer like me and… I blinked.


Why did Kotomine have used bullets lingering around and… why it was here of all places?


I give it a long look before deciding to put it away in my pocket in the hope of making further research about the curious matter.


Could it be that I found a crucial proof about Kotomine's past? Was he actually a former 007?


That would explain the whole bipolar mood he had going and why he looked as secretive as if he was hiding something big- gah!


I flinched and retracted my left hand away from one of the boxes I had touched distractedly, ignoring the little rusty steel bar that had been poking there.


I glanced at the little cut by the index's tip, groaning as I knew that I had to make sure that I hadn't gotten any infection developing from it once I gotten back home.


Just as I continued to study the little injury, I failed to notice the little blood-drop falling off my finger and right onto the floor.


Mere moments later, panic surged from within my chest as I heard a loud vibrating sound emerging from the center of the area.


I looked down once again and I felt my jaw dropping at the origin of some strange blue light engulfing the place.


I blinked with silent dread as I tried to follow the various, weird lines/writings/symbols that were forming quite the intricate circle on the floor as those continued to glow a magical way.


"What the-!"


Soon a bright light worse than hundreds of flashbangs blinded me silent, but I managed to shriek mere moments later at the abnormal situation happening right where I was standing by.


D-Did I activate some bomb? Was this some security system that bastard of a priest had left for me to trip and die by?


But just as my frightened thoughts domineered my mind over the predicament, something else happened just mere moments later.


It all stopped, the light and the noise.


Darkness fell once more in the room and, as I opened my eyes to try and gauge the circumstance about what the heck had just happened, I found myself going tense at the relative close up of a new figure within the room. Someone intimidating.


In front of me was a tall man that seemed prepared to wage war on some battlefield.


His face was covered by a red hood and an armored mask and he was wearing what seemed to be a mix of medieval chainmail and modern combat clothes.


"Hero Assassin here to heed your call," He spoke loudly enough to break my current state of shock, and then he looked down to me with a calm posture. "Are you my Master?"


..."What the fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!?!"


I almost tripped backwards at this introduction, my eyes were wide open in utter shock at what I just listened to and, before I could have fallen and probably cracked my head open on the impact, I saw the masked figure reach out to take hold of my arm.


"Be careful."


The stern voice was more than enough to get me to comply to it as I stood still, restraining myself from struggling against his hold.


Meanwhile the man was looking at my hand and… what the heck is that tattoo!?


I felt paling at the idea that now I had something of a messy ink work on my good hand.


Why it had to be my right hand? Why not on the less useful, my left one?!


"Master, you should take probably rest there," The figure muttered calmly, gesturing me the few boxes behind me. "You might be hyperventilating and we are not in a situation to allow panic to make bad decisions."


'Situation'? What kind of situation could be worse than what I was currently experiencing?


Yet, instead of asking this to him, I decided to comply and sit on one of the sealed-shut boxes and nod at him.


"First thing, where are we, Master?"


"Fuyuki's church," I blurted nervously, still unsure what was going on here.


Was this a crazy murderer that just randomly appeared after that light-show? Was I going insane and this was an hallucination?


He tensed up a little, but this 'Assassin' didn't seem nervous about me… but rather where we were.


"This is… this is quite the bad news," The man muttered with a sigh. "The Church is meant to be the neutral area and- If we are caught by the overseer, we might end up-"


"H-Hold up a second, who are you and why is this-"


"I will explain while we are on our way out of this place," He interrupted once again, this time sporting a tenser voice. "It's for the best if we leave this building unnoticed and as quickly as possible."


I gulped nervously as he yanked at me to stand up and follow him around.


"I-Is this a kidnapping?" I asked in a half-whisper, getting a sigh in return.


"No, this is not a kidnapping, Master," The figure replied dryly. "In fact, I think this is a rescue attempt of sort."


I blinked at the response, even more confused about the situation than I had been mere moments ago.


We stopped for a moment as we turned by the end of the corridor, the masked man glancing around for anyone nearby.


The church was mostly desolate at this late hour and I wouldn't be surprised that it was just Kotomine and Gilgamesh here.


"W-Why are you calling me 'Master'? Is this something of a codename or-"


"It's a denomination for your role in this War," He interrupted, finally resuming the little walk towards the backside exit of the building.


I blinked with some perplexity over the answer, still keeping quiet as we finally rushed out of the half-closed door that led outside.


"War? What war-"


He almost tripped as I finally pressed him on the topic, his posture visibly tensing up as he looked once more at my face. "You mean to tell me that you don't really know what is going on?"


I merely shrugged and he gave a grave sigh before continuing with his speech.


"The Holy Grail War, it's a competition where seven Magus battles for the conquest of the Holy Grail," 'Assassin' explained with a distracted voice, his attention returning to his current proximity as if he was expecting an attack very soon. "The Magus become Master to Seven Heroic Spirits, Servants, which are the main fighters for this conflict."


"And- and you are one of these Servants? Wait, but I can't be a Master, I'm just a normal student at Homura-"


"If you managed to summon me, then you are a Magus," The 'Servant' interjected once again, prompting me to stare in shock at this development.


A Magus? Was that like a wizard but… I wasn't Harry Potter!


I didn't have any magic on me, nor there was any proof to support that ridiculous claim… except the presence of this man.


While a strong part of my mind was skeptical about this whole 'magical war', I couldn't just think that the man had appeared in that storage room out of nowhere.


And… what if Gilgamesh-


"W-Why is the Grail War important?" I asked once again, realizing that we were now rushing down the staircase that led to the nearby park. "I mean, to be making some crazy war, you need to have an incentive for-"


"The Grail realizes people's wishes. Just once a war for the victor."


I tensed a little, my brain picking up a pattern between the mysterious behavior of the blond at asking that strange question and the explanation provided by the 'Servant'.


"Any wish?" I parroted quietly and the man merely nodded, further fueling the revelation that I was trying to wrap my head about.


Kotomine and Gilgamesh knew of the War and… they were dangerous?


I mean, I could see that coming from Kirei, but Gil didn't seem that much of a jerk to be on the murderous scale.


"So there is this war between wizards-"


"Magi."


I blinked, still trying to get the terminology properly settled within my nerve-wracking trail of thoughts..


"Magi," I corrected myself with a sigh, the quick rush adopted from the masked figure to escape the church slowly coming a calmer and lessened sprint. "This war is for the winner to make use of a wish-granting device."


He nodded at my summarized, simple explanation and finally… we stopped.


We were in one of the areas deep in the park, far away from the illuminated paths all across the place and… Assassin started to speak once again.


"There are seven classes: Saber, Archer, Lancer, Assassin, Rider, Caster, and Berserker."


I frowned at some of the names.


"Lancer as in lance-wearing men/women or spear-wielding ones?" I asked for some clarification and I got a mere snort back.


"Yes."


The sass is strong within this asshole. I like it.


I gave him a nod but soon I focused on another concern of mine.


"What if a Servant decide to just... backstab his Master?"


"That's a very rare predicament, Master." Assassin answered with a careful note in his voice. "There are the Command Spells, the signs in your hand, that can be used to control traitorous Servants or even boost loyal ones to win battles."


I stared at the mentioned hand and I blinked numbly at the red tattoo impressed on it.


"So this is kind of a way to know who are the Masters in this conflict, right?" I inquired once again, getting a simple nod in return "Maybe I should put some gloves on from now on."


"I approve this choice, Master," The Servant agreed quickly. "It would be best to reduce our chances of being discovered."


I nodded, trying to make sense of this whole messy thing.


"So, is there something… else that I should know?"


Just as I concluded the query, a small virtual-like tablet appeared in front of me with a long list of stats.


Name: Unknown


Class: Assassin


Master: Sean Graham


Alignment: Chaotic Evil


Stats


Strength: D


Agility: A+


Endurance: C


Mana: C


Luck: E


Skills:


Presence Concealment: A+


Independent Action: A


Affections of the Holy Grail: A+


Noble Phantasm: Unknown (Rank B/B+)


"Two questions." I hummed quietly over what seemed to be game-like stats. "Why are your name and NP listed as 'Unknown'. And what do your skills truly… do?"


"My Noble Phantasm is dependent to my name and I prefer to not reveal it for the sake of advantageous anonymity," The Servant replied while glancing around the zone. "In the Grail War knowing a Hero's name give a major advantage over your enemies as they are usual are heroes from the past."


I nodded at the logic behind his decision, but I found it quite annoying that there seemed to be some more reasons behind his choice and the one he had mentioned was just one of convenience than the primary one.


But before I could have pressed him on that, the man was already listing up what his abilities were.


"Presence Concealment gives me the ability to camouflage myself from my enemies, with my current ranking I can also hide my magical signature."


Literally Solid Snake but against magical foes. I couldn't help but be glad that he was more than good in the stealth game.


"Independent Action allows me to keep a major distance from Master differently from other Servants."


"So you can commit mass destruction actions without having me too much close to disrupt them?" I asked with a hint of surprise and… giddiness. While the chemistry accident had been casual, I wouldn't certainly deny myself the chance of making use of some terror campaign over my enemy via explosive pranking.


"That is indeed the case, Master."


After saying this, I waited a little more for him to complete the list but… Assassin stopped completely, seemingly unaware of the third ability.


"Uh, what about the third one?" I questioned him about, frowning a little as he looked a little confused about what I was talking about.


"What do you mean, Master?" I blinked as Assassin's confusion seemed to be really genuine, yet the tablet had not lied to me... had it?


I had to ask for more.


"It says here that you have a third skill, Affections of the Holy Grail, Rank A+."


"I don't know what it could be, Master," The Servant replied curtly, sounding fairly certain with his lack of awareness over the topic. "It is the first time I hear about this- You say that this is a skill of mine, right?"


I gave him a nod, but instead of continuing this little interrogation, I felt that it was about time to take my leave back home.


It was fairly late and from my understanding, the more I was outside, the higher were the chances of getting attacked by some other Servants.


Hopefully I wasn't going to face someone with the name 'Berserker'. If I had learned something from Anime, it's that you never face someone that can go in a 'Berserk state' permanently.


"I think it's time for us to retreat to… safety then," I hummed with some uncertainty. "So, how do we work with the whole fact you are a masked figure since, you know, there have been some sightings of some murderers around and you would be mistaken for one-"


Before I could finish the sentence, I saw the Servant nod and... dematerialize into glittery, golden dust.


"What in the goddang fuck did you do?"


I can switch from my Material Body to my Spiritual body to reduce the consume on your Magic Circuits.


That sounds quite good and- You can read my head and- Wait, what do you mean with Magic Circuits?


And with that all Servants have been summoned! The Fifth Holy Grail War has officially began!


----d-d-d-d-d-------------------d-d-d-dd----------------d-d-d-d-d--------


AN


Oh my, Oh mai!


After this chapter things will take a drastic turn compared to the last story.


While the linearity of the previous draft had followed well the plot of the Heaven's Feel Route, I have plans to take a major detour with multiple twists and changes.


The first one I can already talk about is… Bazett is going to be alive and Master of Lancer.


So yes, there is an Assassin Servant and… I think everyone recognized him.


Funny Fact: Sean hates Kiritsugu the most.


Funny Fact 2: It's the Heaven's Feel Route.

 

[JBukharin]

Chapter 3: Lottery of Murder (2)


Waking up proved to be much easier than I thought it to be yesterday.


Once I had returned to my little flat, I spared just an hour to make myself a quick dinner, eat it and then go to sleep early.


Confusion and tiredness had played a major role to get me hauled right on bed, ignoring the fact that, while Assassin was in his 'Astral form', he was still in my proximity and staring at me.


It was creepy, but I was glad that when I sprung myself back to life after a ten hour nap that the Servant had done nothing.


This very detail was also odd and creepy, but not as bad as the possibility of finding myself waking up at the sound and smell of a big fire burning my home.


I spent just five minutes lying on my bed before actually starting the day, my mind slowly getting a recollection of what had happened during that crazy night and what was I supposed to do with Assassin.


Once I was out of bed, I decided to bid him a curt 'good morning' and it was returned with a duller version of mine.


I went to ignore the inherent gloom coming from the masked figure, deciding to go quick through some early bathroom routine to get myself clean and ready for school.


One of the few things that I couldn't afford to do right now was skipping any class, especially with the kind of conflict I was now forced to deal with.


This Holy Grail War was no joke, especially since the rest of competitors were supposed to be this kind of magical people.


These Magi, individuals capable of using spells and that were sure going to make my life a living nightmare if I didn't prepare myself with proper equipment, mindset and contingencies.


Once I was done with the usual routine, I decided to not invest myself over the idea of a glove, opting for something a little less suspicious like some bandages wrapped around the hand with the glowing-red tattoo.


Breakfast was prepared quickly, just a some toasts with chocolate cream applied on their surfaces, and soon I was out of my flat with the Servant still in his Astral form.


Do you think we might encounter some trouble during daytime?


I mean, it would be troublesome if I ended up dealing with some crazies in broad daylight and I certainly didn't want to screw my anonymity so suddenly.


It's unusual, but the Grail is known to select unique individuals. I wouldn't put it past the device that at least one of the other Masters will be either unhinged or prone to insane developments.


Okay, crazies are a thing. Got it.


I huffed, making my way through the barely-crowded streets of Fuyuki as I prepared myself to face quite the different day at school.


I wasn't going to ignore the fact that, while it was a slim possibility, there was a high chance that one or two Masters might be as well have infiltrated the school already and maybe set up some traps for the other players in this War.


Plus I had to explain to some annoying people why I had some bandages on my good hand.


Some will worry uselessly, some will nag for more details but the reply will always be the same.


'I slammed my fist on the fridge a little too hard while trying to kill a fly.'


Not the brightest excuse, but mundane enough with the proper tone to make it pass as the truth to the students at Homurahara.


I proceeded to pass through the open gates of the institute, pacing moderately towards the main building's entrance while glancing around with a distracted stare.


I had to keep moving while also keeping an eye for any irritations coming my way this early.


It was just… too early.


I bit down a sigh of relief when I noticed very few people wandering the halls, only a handful of students minding their own business and mostly preparing for the soon-to-begin lessons.


But I wasn't interested in class, or at least not as 'much' as usual.


So you don't feel anyone here had set up no traps around?


As of now I've detected no Servants in the area, nor I can feel any signs of this kind of magecraft having been used recently.


So... we cool?


...We cool, Master.


I sighed in relief, starting to enjoy the fact that I hadn't to brace myself for any little trap ahead of me.


Now it was just time to go through my usual morning plan for the kind of occasion by picking all the proper paths that directly avoided making contacts with the kind of people I was trying to avoid the most.


It was still far too early to see Taiga wandering around, but it was just best to avoid dealing with any surprises from her part.


A few minutes passed smoothly, and I finally found myself easing up even more when I spotted Monk-boy himself walking in one of the distant corridors, seemingly busy by dealing with some Class President's stuff he was so prideful about.


A small grin appeared on my face as the bespectacled stick in the mud was the worst of the threats to find myself dealing right now as I was fairly certain that the Emiya was buzzing around somewhere near where the Archery club class was.


It was his little club, a place that I had long avoided for the sake of not dealing with a pincer maneuver made up by the redhead and the teacher with criminal-ties.


But just as I thought that things were actually going to be smooth for me to face without having to literally turn into a paranoid guy, here came Assassin's alarm.


Master, there is someone that is staring at you several meters behind you. He is a red-haired young man donning the school's uniform.


I tensed briefly, paling at who was following me.


Why is he actively searching for me? I thought I had been fairly fine to leave me alone yesterday.


I couldn't waste too much in pondering over the reasons driving such an irritating idiot from seeking to maybe have a 'talk' with me.


I didn't need it, especially with how dangerous things are right now.


Without bothering to turn around and properly check if it was really Shirou or someone that had red-hair (a strange case, but not truly impossible considering how many redheads are wandering the school), I continued for my merry way with a quicker pace, trying to appear as unaware as possible of the little pursuit that was happening away from public eye.


How much far is he from me right now?


He is reducing the distance quickly, I think you should take a pattern with numerous corners.


I nodded, taking a swift turn and proceeding to push a little more energy in my legs.


I was now power-walking, swiftly and steadily, but I still kept myself from appearing actually panicking or even distressed as to gain the least kind of attention possible from the other students.


Still, why are you avoiding him? I would have thought that you didn't have any enemy at your school.


Oh, I don't. It's just that certain circumstances led me to have quite the problematic trouble in the form of the individual currently chasing me.


Truly? Must be quite the 'irritation' to get you this much active in the morning.


I bit down a huff at the little jab coming from the Servant, but my attention was all directed at the mere fact that I was slowly starting to get away from the classroom I was supposed to be going inside to and that I was running in hallways of the school that were going to be less-crowded compared to right now.


I finally increased the pace a little more, this time growing a little bit desperate as I needed to find the best hiding spot where I can stop this chase and return to the classroom I was supposed to go in less than ten minutes from now.


He is kind of a stalker. He isn't that bad, but he is making his effort to mess up with my own life.


Is that so?


Yeah. Now, while I would like to keep entertaining this discussion, I kind of have to find a place where to hide and-


The classroom by the corner on the left, now.


Without hesitation, I rushed towards the place selected by Assassin and I almost jumped inside, quickly closing the door behind me.


I stared for a while at the only barrier that divided me from dealing with Shirou, the moment of the truth stretching far more than a few seconds.


Yet as I waited silently, trying to see if the boy was going to come inside after maybe somehow noticing me entering the place or not, I felt a finger poke twice at my left shoulder and forcing me to tense up in minor panic.


Assassin, tell me that whoever it is behind is a girl and is naked.


The invisible Servant hummed quietly.


Girls, yes. Naked, no.


Goddammit.


Disappointed and relieved that I wasn't going to be pummeled to death in that impossible-to-happen animesque scene, I slowly turned around only to find myself facing two girls I was very familiar with.


A confused Sakura Matou blinked quietly as she stared at my ruffled uniform and my winded state.


She was holding what looked to be a stack of documents and-


Two bright-blue orbs were now staring furiously into my own eyes and I felt a headache suddenly approaching my poor brain.


"Graham," A certain twin-tailed girl greeted me coldly.


"Tohsaka," I returned with a lazier and informal manner, drawing a frown out of the annoyed modelt student.


We continued what seemed to be a silent game for a few moments before the twin-tailed girl ceased this with a huff.


"Are you trying to pester me again with your pranks, Graham, because I've other things to do other than dealing with some childish idiot."


Oh, classy Tohsaka, trying to win a battle she has already lost. What a saddening sight.


"As if I want to be near your boring self, you egocentric brat," I scoffed with a disdainful tone, causing Rin to look murderous for a moment. "I am just trying to deal with issues way beyond your 'important' self."


"Egocentric brat?!" She shot back with a snarl. "That's rich from the lazy dumbhead that almost blew the entire class up during the first lesson of chemistry."


Now I remembered why I despised being in the presence of the Tohsaka, she was just as unnerving as she had been from the very beginning of our knowledge of each other.


I could still remember the tinier but bitchier version of the prick before me, and I wouldn't be lying in saying that nothing truly changed about her.


Still the same arrogant girl that had been pestering me for an apology for 'trying to kill her' even now that it's been almost four years of knowing each other.


"At least I'm not begging from the priest for pocket money," I mentioned with a giddy hum. "So, still eager to take money from Kirei?"


She snarled again at this sad and quite sore part of her current life, something that I had learned without even digging for too much dirt about her.


Kirei had been almost too eager to tell me about the fact that Rin was under his care after her parents passed away and that he controlled the finances of her family until she reached adulthood.


"You work for that very priest!" Rin rebuked furiously, almost turning in a tomato with how much red she was turning on her face.


"He asked me to work for him," I retorted with a smug smirk. "Plus I work to earn my money by doing chores around that creepy church of his. Things you should be asking to do because you are a good, model stude-Gah, you bitch!"


My hands rushed to massage my poor shin as the girl retracted her leg after delivering that sudden kick.


"Y-You insufferable moron. I h-hate you!"


Then she stormed out of the room, slamming the door close behind her and returning some blessed silence in that room.


I groaned in pain as my suffering lasted a few more moments but, much to my relief, the agony dissolved fairly quicker than I thought it to.


Just as the pain faded out of my system, I turned my attention back to the other student in the room that was now staring at me with a mix of concern and curiosity.


Sakura had placed the stack of documents on a cabinet nearby, listening to the heated exchange between me and the Tohsaka with utter silence.


"A-Are you okay, senpai?"


I nodded slowly, a small grin visible on my face as I continued to fight off the leftover of the cruel strike I was subjected to.


"Just a little itchy, Sakura-san. Nothing to worry about," I assured her, causing her to give out a tiny smile before nodding. "But I need to ask, did Tohsaka bully you to do her duties or-"


"O-Oh, no," She stuttered while giving a quick glance at the files. "T-those are documents regarding the Archery club t-that Taiga-san wanted me to put in the right compartments and..."


"That tsundere perhaps bumped on you and caused the papers to fall on the ground?"


The plum-haired girl blinked in shock at my deduction, surprised by how accurate it was over her predicament.


"This is not the first time she cause this kind of issues," I explained with a huff. "That brat is an incredible klutz and we have headbutted more than once over her distracted walks."


"T-That is not nice... Rin-senpai was helping me and-"


"Sakura-san."


The young girl paused her explanation, her mouth closed in silent self-disappointment but surprise as I sighed tiredly.


"Rin was just fixing her mistakes and there is no need to explain anything. I think she is old enough to do the whole proper explanation instead of having others do it for herself," I replied with a calm tone. "Plus I wasn't truly badmouthing her if it is truly that recurring. I can tell you that it is."


She looked pensive about my words, an unknown glint momentarily flashing from her eyes, but then she nodded.


Just as I prepared myself to venture outside the classroom and reach the one I was supposed to go by to begin lesson, Sakura decided to speak again.


"S-Sean-senpai, why don't you join the club?" The girl inquired with little stutter this time. "I've heard that Taiga-san had already invited you last year and that-"


"There is no need to make this kind of conversation now, Sakura-san," I interrupted with a little hint of annoyance. "While I can appreciate the fact that you are putting a big effort in making Shirou happy with your kind and altruistic behavior, I can tell you that it will not work with me. Sorry."


..."W-What?"


I sighed, this sure was going to be a difficult conversation now.


"I know that you are infatuated with Emiya, Sakura-san," I properly explained, the girl close to intervene but I was quick enough to continue the speech. "There is no shame in admitting that you are feeling attracted to the perfect husband material."


Sakura blushed at the final bit and her protests died by her lips as she tried to grasp the complications that this discussion was going to bring to herself if it continued.


"As much as it might seems wrong and quite disheartening to hear," I resumed with a hint of sadness. "I hope you manage pull out from this situation way before the worst truly happens."


The plum-haired girl paused and frowned.


"What do you mean? Shirou-senpai is nice, hard-working and-"


"Broken. He is broken."


Violet eyes glowed in a confused light at that strange adjective but I continued my little rant.


"I had been unconscious during the Great Fire but Shirou watched as the world burned around him," I revealed with a serious voice. "He saw death taking everyone but his, he saw his family died and this got him to develop some nasty survivor's guilt."


"B-But it wasn't his fault," Sakura blurted, catching my attention at the passionate tone she used regarding the stupid teen.


Of course a love-stricken girl would be so stubborn about the matter… but then again everyone had their means to deal with discoveries of this caliber.


"He has been told that it isn't his fault that he lived through that hell, yet he continued to believe himself responsible by surviving that disaster," I muttered, my voice growing a little dark. "It didn't help when that blasted old man of his gave him the 'Hero of Justice' idea to pursue before kicking the bucket."


As I finished that sentence, I felt a curious tug to my body, yet I couldn't pinpoint where it was coming from exactly.


"Taiga-san... has said something about this last year but- but I didn't thought it was so bad."


"That's because he is quite good at hiding it behind the whole 'protagonist' mask," I explained blankly. "He is afraid of being belittled for this childish mentality about life itself. He is in a burning train and those who befriends him and don't help him are going to crash onto the hard surface that is reality itself."


The girl gave a slow nod, a small smile appearing in her face despite my serious warning.


And then… she spoke again.


"Then I shall save, Shirou-senpai."


I blinked at that determined proclamation, surprised by the energy the girl had mustered just for those words but in the end merely shrugged at her.


"That's fine if you can do it, Sakura-san."


She paused, a curious expression painted in her face.


"If?"


"Yeah, it's not like you have showed much, Sakura," I admitted while shaking my head. "And I don't think that you can do it-"


"Then I will prove it to you, senpai. I shall prove that I will save Shirou-senpai."


For some reason, her voice had turned sterner and somehow also creepy enough that I felt multiple shivers going down my spine.


Something was wrong with that sweet-looking girl but… maybe it was the sudden seriousness on her face.


It had to be just that.


"Sure thing," I mused quietly. "Then I suppose I can pray for you to have some good luck about that."


As this discussion came to a halt, I decided to leave that room and reach where the classroom was before I got there far too late.


I managed to reach it and avoid interacting with Shirou for some time.


A few hours later and two lessons in, I sighed at the pause between subjects to think about Sakura and her curious promise.


I was surprised by her notion of making a 'true effort' about her affection directed at Shirou, but soon enough I was proven that there might have been some reason to find that promise actually creepy and unnerving.


I was about to shrug it off as a stupid gut feeling and I was preparing to deal with Chemistry when Taiga entered the classroom with a somber look.


"Today a student was put in extreme danger as someone had gone to push him down the stairs," The woman explained loudly enough for every student in the room to hear. "All classes are dismissed today, school will resume tomorrow and an investigation is planned to take action very soon."


I was confused, because it was something quite unheard of to hear a quick end of the lessons but then again it was quite rare for an episode of violence of this degree.


It would take about a few more minutes after packing up and pacing out of the room that I discovered the victim's name.


Which caused me to grin a little at the curious development, but also pale at the fact there was something of a proof that might have connected a certain plum-haired girl to the case.


Despite my early thoughts about Assassin's explanation over the Church's state of neutrality during the event that was the Holy Grail War, I was still supposed to go and work there.


There was still some hesitation to see Gilgamesh as someone of a Master, or even as a vice to Kotomine, but I still had to keep up with my façade, at least until tomorrow where things will get spicier.


During my walk right to the building, I found myself musing quietly with Assassin, trying to make sense about the whole 'Sakura trouble'.


Somehow, I don't feel surprised that she might have been the one responsible for tripping him.


To see such an innocent girl doing something so terrible to her kin is absurd.


Oh Assassin, if only I had you met Shinji. That shit-stain warranted more than falling down a staircase.


That sounds unfairly cruel, Master.


Assassin, I don't want to sound like a monster or anything, but Shinji is possibly the most annoying guy in the school for his own attitude and actions. And that an understatement since I am considering Emiya in the equation too.


...


I sighed at latest silence from Assassin and I was about to continue this discussion with more pressure, but then I realized that I had arrived by the entrance of the holy site and I found a... smiling Kirei Kotomine standing there patiently.


"Welcome to the Church, Sean Graham, Master of Assassin," He started with a mirthful tone. "I, Kirei Kotomine, recognize you as the last candidate to take part at the Fifth Holy Grail War."


From behind him, a familiar blond walked past the priest and started to make steps towards me.


Assassin materialized, a knife in his hand and ready to engage the Golden Moron.


"Master, be careful," The Servant warned with a hint of nervousness, enough to make me look at the approaching young man with suspicion.


"Mongrel, you should leash your mutt," Gil said with an annoyed voice. "I am half-tempted to deal with this cancerous stain myself instead of letting him spread his filth around with his mere existence."


"Only if you do the same with your ugly attitude, Goldie."


We both shared a quiet grin with each other, trying to establish our usual conversational means, and then he continued.


"I thought you to be more intelligence to engage against something stronger than you, Graham-kun," Kirei commented with a sigh.


The words of the priest left me with some confusion, but Gilgamesh replied to this with a quick laugh.


"Yes, mongrel," He explained with minor glee. "From the very beginning you have been in the presence of the King of Heroes, the King of Uruk and Babylonia."


"Is this a way to try and excuse your bitching?" My rapid fire comment surprised the red-eyed Gilgamesh, whom merely smiled zealously at my determination.


"You should be feeling lucky that I have yet considered the chance of destroying your pathetic self, mongrel," The blond retorted with a sigh. "And I'm still hoping you will entertain me until the very end of your miserable life."


I frowned at this but merely shrugged, instead I decided to probe for something that I was still unsure about.


"So... how are you still around?"


…


"Excuse you, mongrel?"


"I'm quite sure that you have been around for more than two years, and I know from Assassin that Servants can't be summoned so early on for the War," I expanded on my question. "It's possible you are from the Fourth War, maybe the Third, but how exactly you are still walking around is something I'm missing."


The smile was rekindled by the explanation, some kind of eagerness building up behind his eyes.


"That is a curious secret, cur, and the only way I will reveal it is if you merely submit to-"


"Nah, don't care anymore then."


...


"What are you talking about?" Gilgamesh asked quietly.


"If you are already trying to bribe me out of the competition, I can assure you that I am not willing to surrender,"


"Is that so?" The King asked amused by the whole situation. "Then please fight your foes to your best, overcome the challenges of this wrongful war. I want to see if you are truly worth my attention."


…


"Gil, you are so being the Vegeta to my Goku-"


"Shut up, mongrel! And go pester someone else, I need to return to my duties."


He call playing with videogames 'duties'. He is quite bratty, like Tohsaka.


...Indeed.


It was surprising to see the collected Servant that much on the edge by merely standing in front of Goldie- Gilgamesh...


Was it something that just Servants could feel?


"For the duration of the War, Graham-kun, your part-time work is sadly going to be postponed until further notice. I hope you understand and I bid you a good day."


"N-No wait, I need the money to-!"


The door closed, leaving me jobless and confused but-


The door reopened just a little, the priest's head peeking out with a smug expression.


"I also wanted you to have you know that I might have explained to my student that you have been chosen to be in the Holy Grail War and which Servant you might have. Have a good day~."


The door closed one last time, but I continued to burn glares at it for a little while before actually marching away from the building.


It will be difficult to find a new job, but maybe we could try something once we beat one of the Masters.


While I would have advised for you to pick a newer hideout, I suppose you consider your home safe enough to wage the War.


It's comfy enough, plus only a few know where I truly live… but I think the issue might be another one.


And that is?


We need to make some shopping. I need your advice to pick up the best equipment to make this a 'proper war'.


I will offer as much counsel as possible, Master.


Good and now…


Let's go for a shopping spree!


------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d----------d-d-d-d-----------


AN


In just a single day, Sean was capable of getting Sakura to become more vicious, to have Kotomine cut his income and to have Tohsaka now in his enemy list.


What a nice day to live in that world!


Fun Fact 3: Sean loves explosions.


Fun Fact 4: He is actually a softie with a super-tough shell around himself. What a good boi.


Also- [ZA WARUDO: OVER CHAPTERU OMAKE!]


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


Omake 1: Summoning Issue (Emiya Combo 1)


Suggested by: Tazamz


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


But just as my frightened thoughts domineered my mind over the predicament, something else happened just mere moments later.


It all stopped, the light and the noises.


Darkness fell once more in the room and, as I opened my eyes to try and gauge the circumstance about what the heck had just happened, I found myself going tense at presence of numerous people all at once.


The first one that I noticed was the close-up of a fairly tall and intimidating masked man.


He was wearing a red cloak and some armored clothes that looked to be a mix of medieval chairmail and modern combat clothes.


In contrast to his dark theme, I found my eyes burning a little as I turned to look at the woman standing beside this figure and… I was stunned by her beauty.


Mesmerizing red eyes that were kindly directing trust towards my way, her white hair matching well with the oddly-religious undertone of her pure-white dress.


She does look familiar…


Just as I concluded studying the second intruder, my attention was drawn to some noise still happening behind the two and soon even these two adults were looking at what was going on behind themselves.


Two semi-identical girls trying to unwrap themselves from each other from their awkward positioning, the task appearing incredibly comical from the way the two were tangled with one another.


These two… why do both of them look so…


"Servants Assassin, Caster, Archer, and Caster heeding your call, Master," The woman ultimately proclaimed with a mirthful tone. "By the way, what's your name, young one?"


I gulped nervously at the sudden question, but I managed to reply just fine.


"S-Sean, Sean Graham, ma'am."


The lady's smile widened at the response.


"Sean-kun, I suppose you are not well-versed in this kind of summoning… and I can say for sure that you don't seem aware of what is going on," She continued politely and kindly.


A reply was a must now, especially with how beautiful and-


…


I think the masked figure is somehow connected to the woman, or else I couldn't explain why he was glaring at me so intensively.


"I don't… know what is going on, ma'am."


"Oh, call me Iri," The woman replied promptly. "This grumpy man here is my husband Kerry-kun and… the two lovely girls over there are Kuro-tan and Illya-tan."


I paused a moment as she introduced the two young girls that were now done with the tangled issue and were standing close to the two adults.


"Hi, I'm Illya," The white-haired red-eyed girl said with a slightly-nervous look.


She just looked like… the other Illya I was aware about. Maybe a little more older-looking and… less doll-like.


Just as I turned my attention to the tan-skinned girl, I felt her rush to wrap her arms around my waist, staring up while pressing her chin on my chest.


I was surprised by her unique light-shade of pink that her hair was and the bright yellow-pink eyes.


"I'm Kuro-chan, Onii-chan~."


…


"You are not hitting on me, are you?" I asked slowly, the little flirtatious stare that the girl was giving me now sending me some bad vibes.


"What if I was~?"


"K-Kuro- Stop creating issues to Master!" Illya exclaimed panicking, her face sporting a burning blush on her cheek at the shameless display and words.


Even worse, I was being called Master!


One thing was being called Oniichan, that was actually acceptable and-


"I suppose you wish some answers to your question," The masked figure finally spoke, still looking tense as he glanced around the storehouse. "But first I think it's best we get moving outside of this place."


...But why would it be needed? If they were good people then-


"This place is meant to be a place for neutrality and our presence right now is disrupting its true role," Iri added with a mindful tone, glancing in confusion at her husband as the man crossed his arms close to his chest. "While I understand that you might find this to be quite sudden and fairly suspicious, I can promise you that we mean no harm and that we just want to make sure you are safe and sound."


I blinked, a little touched by the genuine wave of concern coming from the lady's tone and… I nodded.


"I-I suppose I shall trust you all," I muttered uneasily. "F-For now, of course."


"I can promise to you too that we don't mean no harm, Master!" Illya jumped in with a twitchy smile, her own nervousness shining again to my attention and… I blinked.


"Actually… can I ask you something Illya?"


She blinked a little bit surprised by my words but nodded.


"Sure thing, Master!" She accepted and I nodded back.


"Your full name is perhaps… Illyasviel von Einzbern?"


…


Her eyes widened and her lips parted to show her surprise at the possibly-correct guess.


"How do you know about that, Oniichan?" Kuro inquired with a hint of confusion and interest, causing me to turn my sight on her.


"W-Well, yesterday I met someone that looked just like Illya but…" I paused for a moment, having realized just a few moments ago about the different proportions. "But the one I met was fairly younger than the one I'm speaking to right now."


"That's quite an interesting development for sure," The woman hummed with some fascination. "But it's prudent that we start to leave the Church, Sean-kun."


I realized that we had been standing there for some time now and I nodded with a hint of panic, leading the small family out of that storehouse and towards the backdoor of the building.


But just as we finally left the Church, I noticed that there was something pressing on my lower back and… squeezing.


I blinked as I noticed that both adults were standing on each of my sides and… there were two other individuals that I wasn't seeing from my perspective and only one that I knew that could have done that.


"Kuro-chan," I called quietly as I didn't need to catch neither Kirei's nor Gil's attention.


"Yes, Oniichan~?" The tanned girl returned with a questioning tone… behind a mountain of smug and giddiness.


"You should really stop that."


"Okay~," She replied with a purr.


The pressure over my butt ended and I knew that this was sure going to become the first day of something new and… incredibly mad.


What did I just unleash upon the world?


---------d-d-dd------------d-d--dd----------d-d-d-d----------


AN


The original suggestion was just another member of the Emiya family, but I decided to drop them all in (except any of the two EMIYA Archers) because why not.


Fun Fact 5: While Sean hates Kiritsugu, there is a chance that Sean would have actually been adopted if Irisviel had been around.


Fun Fact 6: EMIYA Assassin (both in the main story and in Omake) is amnesiac and not aware of his connection with Shirou and Sean, only that he shares the same surname as Shirou.

 

[JBukharin]

Chapter 4: Lottery of Murder (3)


Turning my bedroom in a planning room proved to be funnier than I had initially thought it to be.


The entire place had been prepared to contain various resources that were meant to aid my efforts in winning what looked to be quite the complicated conflict to deal alone.


Assassin continued to quip some more information about the strengths and the flaws of the various classes, pointing out once more how his own was meant for infiltration and assassinations rather for direct contacts.


This meant that not much could be done via blunt force, and that only careful thinking would have seen me victorious through this vicious month.


Since this was going to be a tough war, I had already decided to stack up some reserves for emergency weaponry and explosives.


Molotov made with some of the liquors recovered by Assassin were now lying under my bed in small wooden crates, ready to be deployed in case of a home invasion.


Thoughts of planting some more traps in strategical spots of the house proved to be well-received by the Servant as we both were aware of a very dreadful thing.


Despite the irritation I was feeling towards a certain shitty priest for literally crippling my means of survival, the last warning about an 'apprentice' of his knowing about me and my presence in this war proved to be quite the crucial info to be having.


Not only now I knew that Rin Tohsaka was somehow a Magus with her own Servant, but I was also perfectly aware that she would certainly try to reach out to either band up together or eliminate Assassin early on.


While there was a big dislike between me and the bratty girl, I was fairly sure that deep down she wasn't made to be facing a conflict of this glorious magnitude and gruesomeness.


An effort for peace was sure going to be made by her before the end of the week.


Maybe even an attempt to gain alliance with me if she hadn't found another Master among the students at Homurahara that would best fit with her abrasive personality and combat capacity.


She was still a softie despite the deep irritation she felt towards certain people.


And that is why I had been keen to avoid going to school for today.


Not only wouldn't my 'common cold' gather close to zero attention from other students and teachers, and possible Masters, but I was also given the proper time to make plans and contingencies for everything that could be happening in this Holy Grail War.


Describing the overall structure of the War, Assassin provided some more insight of the ritual and how exactly the three marks in my hand worked.


The Command Seals were slightly-broken in terms of creative usage, especially since they could be used to boost a Servant to defy death-threatening issues.


Masters could use those too to improve their own spells, but considering the lacking state of my current arsenal, I knew the info wasn't going to be useful to me for some time.


At least until I got hand into some mystical tome to learn from.


…


Nah, that wasn't going to happen.


I was aware from Assassin's words that the three known Magus families that were currently here to some extent might have some spells that could end up proving useful…


But then again that idea got shot down the moment I heard all of their names.


Tohsaka.


I wasn't going to bother seeking an audience with Rin, especially now that our current situation was quite uncertain and I didn't want to risk getting even unconsciously maimed by her Servant.


Einzbern.


I was skeptical that Illya was one of the Masters, making it possible that one of her parents was one and… I was slightly fazed by the chance of trying my luck in getting in that castle to have a chat with them.


Makiri.


Now, this is where I found some hilarious and quite concerning bits.


While there was no family having such a name in current Fuyuki, a quick search through the online section of the city's census confirmed the existence of a certain Zolgen Makiri back in the early 1900s and his death coincided with the birth of someone I had the pleasure to met just two days ago.


Zouken Matou, Shinji's and Sakura's grandfather.


The wrinkly old man looked more dead than alive, and I wasn't certainly going to ignore the 'Voldemort' vibe he got going with his creepy appearance of his.


Not only the two names were close to be the same, but the addresses where 'both men' had lived/were living in was the same.


That old, decaying mansion that matched up well with its main owner's overall presence.


Perhaps it was best to avoid wandering in that section of the city altogether.


I could… feel some gut feeling telling me that the 'Voldemort' look wasn't the only thing that Zouken had taken inspiration from Harry Potter's main villain.


Yet this connection presented with another issue as I was fairly sure that the walking corpse was a Master too.


I couldn't see Shinji fit well as a Master, especially how dumb he behaved in normal instances and Sakura just didn't seem to be the type of girl that would be suited to take the role properly.


Yet she was quick to trip her brother down the stairs to... help her Senpai.


That is a thing, yes.


Yes, that very episode was fascinating because it brought up that the girl might be hiding some bits of her true self and… yet I couldn't see her commit to the whole 'Master' gig.


A little bit strong on her interest in gaining Shirou's attention beyond the mere nature of friendship, but she was far too fragile to even consider going through this hellish war.


With Assassin sent to do some quick errands around Fuyuki, I found myself delving more in studying the city's map.


I had taken Geography very seriously at school, especially since I wanted to understand where exactly my parents came from, but sadly enough there was just too little known about them.


Heck, even the exhaustive journal that dad had left for me to read lacked any comment about their original country.


Quite tragic… but not as tragic as meticulously drawing the various important sections of the city that I had to explore in due time, or avoid until it became a necessity for me to approach.


Most of the Old-style district was considered 'to avoid' as both the Matou's house and Rin's home were located there.


Same for the Ryuudou temple and Shirou's home, as I certainly didn't need to find myself dealing with the redhead now that I had so much to think about for this conflict.


The Einzbern Castle was the last location that needed to be avoided, at least until I knew more about the place.


Maybe I could try to send some message there, to try and test the waters instead of outright dismiss the chances of approaching the family.


My next step was to draw out the various sections of Fuyuki that could be used as temporary hideouts in case I ended up being chased by some unpleasant stalkers.


The city wasn't Tokyo, but it was big enough to house a few interesting spots that could be used to hide away from Servants.


Assassin was still out when I noticed that my phone was vibrating, the device shaking on the small corner of the desk it had been left.


I glanced at the glowing display that was showing a number I know far too well and I groaned the moment I pondered what to do about this situation.


Shirou was calling me and… that was certainly one of the few issues that came by skipping school for sick day.


Always calling me to always checking on my conditions while also always trying to offer some help when needed.


The true crux of this instances was that he would repeat the classic spiel each time and there was just a limit to my patience that… nevermind.


I sighed as I picked up the phone and accepted the call.


"Hello?"


At first there was a loud crash, something made of glass coming tumbling into the ground.


"H-Hello, Sean. Sorry to disturb but- I wanted to ask if you were alright today as-"


"I caught a cold, Emiya," I interjected with a yawn. "And I did everything I had to do to recover. Medicines, a warm soup for lunch and now I was concluding some crosswords within the safe and warm things that are the covers of my bed."


"I-I see, but… but I'm sure you would need to have the homework left today by-"


"Already called Mitsuzuri, she was more than happy to save up some notes that she will give me tomorrow," I interrupted again, partially glad that the brunette had been kind enough to help me out with this.


Despite finding my dislike for Emiya 'exaggerated', Ayako Mitsuzuri was the level-headed kind of girl that I was happy to share some time with.


I had first met her when we were about ten years old while I was strolling the park, away from facing the annoying screeches of some children playing around.


I could remember her testing even at that young age the difficult art that was Archery.


It was in her blood, there was no doubt in my mind that her main aspiration was a professional career in the art, but she was much more than a mere archer.


I've met her parents and her little brother, finding some happiness in spending time with her family while also enjoying her lone company.


She was a good listener and friend, albeit very far from being considered girlfriend material, I still respected her as a smart individual.


The only major flaws was her narrow-minded perception of people's goodness about the Emiya's intentions towards me and her connection to both Shirou and Taiga through her position as captain of the Archery Club.


She was someone trustworthy and that I can genuinely say that I cared for.


"Understood. I-It's good to know that and- Sorry, I kind of have an issue here and- S-Saber, there is no need to help me cleaning the pla-"


I blinked as the call ended, my eyes slowly widening as I tried to repeat in my mind what I just heard before the connection concluded.


Saber.


Shirou had- He had said Saber.


As one of the seven classes that Servants can be summoned as.


Saber, as one of the Servants, which would make Shirou one of the Masters.


…


Bullshit.


Utter, raw bullshit.


There was no way that the Emiya had the mindset to go for a war, his altruistic manners make him a perfect target rather than a proper candidate to win and… that makes things even more complicated for me.


I returned my attention to the map, glancing at the area where the redhead was living by and I drew another red circle around the one already present.


That was now even worse for me to come even a little close to.


Shirou as a Master. The world was going to shake brutally if someone didn't keep an eye on what he was going to do.


And that wasn't going to be me!


I wasn't his caretaker, nor was I going to put myself at risk because he decided to give a try to this insane situation.


If he was going to slam into danger, it will be on his own volition and responsibility.


…


I sighed as I turned away from the house and right back to a book Assassin had brought while we were shopping for the liquors.


'Modern Firearms and Soldiers' was possibly the first military book I had the chance of glance into.


Despite the highly-detailed and fairly-soporific nature of the textbook, I managed to digest about three pages that explained well the various tactics that best-served the usage of simple handguns.


I was surprised by the fact that Assassin had decided to offer me this kind of 'study book', but I can only suppose that he was trying to get me to really understand what he was capable of.


Maybe this knowledge would eventually end up helping me in case we found some guns to use and-


Nah, there was no way in hell that this was going to be a possibility.


Especially since there was only one place that had guns in Fuyuki and that was an US military base that-


Thud


I'm back.


The mental comment from Assassin made me almost jump in fright, the masked figure was standing right in the middle of the bedroom after having entered from the now-open window there.


I blinked at him and sighed as I felt easing at the realization that it was my Servant.


"Took some time to do whatever you wanted to do and-!!"


Shock returned on my face the moment I noticed the two big bags that were now lying at Assassin's feet.


I could only see part of what was inside those heavy things, and the limited sight was more than enough to give me a complete idea of their contents.


Several guns' barrels were popping through the barely-open bags, and I felt my thoughts die in a single-lined trail as I turned up to look at the Servant.


"Assassin. Did you perhaps… steal those?" I asked while pointed calmly at what could be considered a good-enough reason to go to jail if the police caught notice of this issue.


The masked figure appeared to be calm while he glanced at me.


"Yes."


The lack of shame was enough for me to facepalm and groan loudly at the fact he had just committed some massive crime- and I was going to be the one to be trialed if somehow I was caught with these around.


"I made sure that I wasn't seen while carrying this equipment back to the house," The Servant continued to explain with a quite tone. "I managed to gather some munitions for the various firearms I've recovered. All those will be useful for me to use to succeed in this war."


I blinked, moving my hands away from my face. "So those are all yours?"


"Not exactly," He replied curtly. "There is a gun that I wish for you to carry around for the time being. Something that will be useful in case you get attacked."


Frowning at his comment, I didn't have time to bring up some confusion out-loud that I got presented with the piece of weaponry that was supposed to be my own mean to defend myself for this war.


He released it in my waiting palms as I stared at the odd design of the handgun, drawn by the mix of old-modern style that it was designed to be.


Glancing around, I found myself caught off-guard by the particularly-long barrel and… the fact that it was a single-shot.


I checked its lone chamber, impressed by the size as I was sure that despite the incredibly-limited capacity it still had to pack some mean punch.


…


Yet that wasn't something that was meant to be used for the sake of self-defence.


I was expecting a M1911, or even a Beretta M15- God, even an old-style Luger or Walther PP would have been better than this.


"I don't think this is meant to be used in a self-defence situation," I pointed out blankly, while continuing to study the weapon.


"Master, do I need to remind you that Magus can use magecraft to attack you?" He shot back in quite the calm voice, almost trying to sass me up.


I snorted. "Considering that Rin and Shirou are meant to be considered 'Standard Masters', I think even a spoon would work against them."


He tensed a little as I said this.


"Shirou Emiya is a Master too?" He sounded surprised, and I connected this to the fact that I had discovered this while he was out.


"Yeah, he tried to call me to see if I was well and before ending the call he started to speak with someone named 'Saber'."


The Servant nodded at my words and didn't continue from there.


But just as I tried to return my attention back to the gun, I saw Assassin tense up once again, this time the man drew his combat knife and-


Ding Dong~!


My eyes widened in surprise, but I quickly glanced back at the Servant.


"Problems?"


He glanced at me, but neither shook his head nor he nod at my quick query.


Slowly, I made my way downstairs, where the entrance room was and I tip-toed toward the door.


Spying from the peephole, I notice a fair amount of blue standing outside… before I was greeted with a lone red eye.


"Ohi! Open up!"


I tripped backward and fell on my butt, crawling away as Assassin reached for the door and prepared to unleash the hot fury held within his machine-gun.


"Why are you here, Servant?" He demanded forcefully, almost snarling.


"Look pal, I hadn't planned to come here, but my Master is critically-hurt and require assistance," The red-eyed man replied quickly. "I don't want to cause trouble, but I will be making some ruckus if you don't help her."
Assassin glanced back at me, waiting for an order and I was partially frightened by the sudden situation.


I was completely unsure what to do about this, the fact that a possibly murderous bastard was lying through his teeth beyond that 'fragile barrier' that was my door more than enough to put my brain in a state of uneasiness.


It could be a ploy, or maybe there was truly someone injured on the other side of the door.


Maybe this was a bad way for me to face death itself, as I was unsure if Assassin would have been capable of fighting in close-encounters


Still, instead of keeping quiet of blurt anything remotely dangerous, I remembered something Assassin had told me early on.


Names were grand secrets, and learning those gave the chance to learn about their weaknesses.


"R-Reveal your true name! If your Master is truly in danger then-"


"Fine!" The unknown Servant shot back with a strong hint of anger. "I'm the Child of Light, Cú Chulainn. Now let us in or-"


I glanced at Assassin before this Cu guy started to mess things up, nodding at my Servant as the man slowly opened the door to reveal a…


A blue-haired man wearing a blue spandex-like full-body tights, carrying a gravely-wounded dark-red-haired woman bridal-style.


His Master, I muttered quickly inside my head while standing up from the ground.


The lady was wearing a business-like suit with a red-violet necktie, her eyes were closed and there were numerous hints of blood drying in her clothes, some drops even present on her face.


It was moments later that I realized that her leg was twisted in a 'funny' and unnatural way.


"The living room is over here and-"


Before I could finish, the Servant rushed towards the room I had indicated, his priority being putting his Master on a safe place where to rest.


Assassin and I followed him shortly after, looking at the man as he let go of the unconscious woman and glanced back at us.


"She needs medical assistance. If I had been in my Caster form maybe-"


The masked man disappeared in a brief astral light, leaving me to stare at the blue-haired individual.


"Caster form?" I asked without thinking, almost regretting it moments later.


"Some Servants can be summoned in different points of their lives," Cu admitted with a shrug. "Some keeps their classes, but others just switch to other ones that best fits with their main affinity at the time."


His red eyes showed a glint of interest as he leaned to look at me closer.


"What about you? What's your name?"


I blinked. "Nope."


"Nice to meet ya, 'Nope'," The Servant cheekily mused before sighing. "Look pal, I don't want to be your enemy."


"The issue is that there is a deadly conflict going on and every secret is a well-hidden opening from enemies," I shot back dryly.


He sighed again, this time stopping to glance back at his Master as Assassin had returned with a first aid kit and was already tending on her wounded state.


"If we were enemies, you wouldn't have let us in and… you wouldn't be helping my Master."


His statement caused me to scowl at him. "Why should we trust you then? What do I gain by-"


"Isn't kind of rude that I've introduced myself and you are just being a prick by holding back your name?"


I frowned deeply at him. "What's her name?"


…


"What?"


"What is your Master's name?" I reiterated with a sigh. "I will give you my name if you tell me what's hers."


He blinked at this, humming quietly as he pondered over the matter and… he gave a quick nod.


"Bazett Fraga McRemitz. I think she is Irish, her accent tells me that much and-"


"Sean Graham," I cut him swiftly. "I didn't ask for her full backstory, spandex-guy."


His face twitched in a brief scowl and he huffed. "This ain't spandex, pal,"


"And I'm not your pal, buddy."


The Servant grinned at this. "Still, your name ain't from around here. You are… British perhaps?"


I shrugged at me. "Parents died ten years ago, I don't know where I exactly come from."


"Bah, what a bummer!" The blue-haired man exclaimed with a long sigh. "Still, I should have expected something not Japanese since-"


"Since what?"


He blinked at my sudden pressure, looking surprised at my little attack but he seemed to recover moments later.


"Since you have European traits?" He half-asked, getting a huff out of me.


"Maybe."


Silence resumed in that very moment and I glanced back at Assassin as he started to fix the badly-shaped leg of the woman, a loud crack signifying that he had fixed her bone correctly.


She will recover, but I don't think she will be capable of moving out anytime soon.


Understood.


"Still, I find this whole Holy Grail War quite… boring," The Servant continued with a hum. "I thought there would have been older Master, but with you, I think there are three or more young people competing. What a shame."


"What's wrong with having young Masters-"


"You kidding right?" He said before giving a smile at the 'little pun' he got there. "Older Masters know how War truly works, instead of playing around and doing nothing to keep their Servants to respect their orders."


He paused a moment and he nodded to himself.


"To make a fair example, the first Servant I fought had this girl as a Master and… she wasn't giving him any order," The man started to explain. "I mean, I can understand it's difficult to command someone that is older than her, but I had pointed out plenty of times I think that her Servant was holding back while fighting against me."


"And the problem being-"


"I was getting pissed!" The Servant lamented loudly. "I wanted a proper fight and I was getting annoyed dealing with that bastard. In fact, if I hadn't been distracted by that strange red-haired prick, I would have attacked the girl because she wasn't doing anything to push his Servant to fight back properly."


I paused a moment at hearing about this 'red-haired prick' and I blinked at the blue-haired guy.


"Did he turn out to be a Master too?"


The Servant frowned at my precise question and gave a slow nod. "You know him?"


"Kind of, but… no, I don't consider him a friend," I replied carefully. "Let's just say he isn't being much subtle about his Servant."


He narrowed his eyes at that. "Care to elaborate on that?"


"He calls her around as 'Saber'. I think he is trying to make it appear that it's fine for someone to have that kind of name."


Seriously, this was the newest low even for someone like Shirou. Why didn't he give her a nickname or another name to use while around 'normal people'.


"Really now?" The spandex-lover mused curiously. "Then I guess that I was right about young Masters… except you, of course."


I frowned in confusion at that last bit. "What?"


"Ya know, I saw Assassin moving with those heavy bags and I've seen a glimpse of what is inside there," He replied mirthfully, causing me to pale a little. "It seems you are preparing for some massive last stand."


"It's just for him and- Wait, how do you know that my Servant is an Assassin?"


The query made his smile widen a little.


"I mean, I know where Saber is and I think I know what that red Servant is, so it's either Assassin or Caster," The man explained with a grin. "But since he is meant to use that weaponry, I guess it's Assassin."


Blinking in surprise at his logic, I decided to give out a nod before speaking once more.


"And does that make you Lancer?"


He hummed. "What if I'm actually Archer?"


"In bright-blue Spandex? Do you think so lowly of me?" I shot back with a smug tone, causing him to groan again.


"This isn't spandex. Why everyone think this is spandex?"


"Probably because it looks very skin-tight and bright," I commented with an amused snort.


He snarled back. "As if you are doing a fine job with an Assassin going around to do solo errands."


"And you did finely by helping your Master?"


"The situation is different, you didn't have to deal with that priest-"


My eyes lit up in recognition at that title.


So that is what the man is doing behind the curtains?


"So it's the priest responsible for her wounds?"


The Servant nodded, turning his attention to glance at the sleeping woman as I continued to speak.


"I know that he's a jerk in regular basis… but I thought the Church representative was meant to be neutral and peaceful."


"That's what she thought too since they have collaborated in the past, yet I could smell something odd on him," The blue-haired man resumed with a huff. "Something odd, something… inhuman even."


I blinked at that. "How much 'inhuman' are we talking about?"


"Is there a gradation system or-" He paused himself and he sighed. "I would say a little odd for a competition of this caliber."


So it was very inhuman. Enough to make this Holy Grail War pale in comparison.


…


Now isn't that a lucky thing to know about after I didn't join Gilly's little adventure?


"Still, that means that the War is without rules now that the table has been flipped so nastily?" I inquired calmly and Lancer merely shrugged.


"Perhaps but… for now, it's best to wait and see what happens."


------------d-d-d-d--------------d-d-d-d----------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d---------


AN


I've never understood why Shirou didn't give Saber another name to not pass odd. Heck, I would have expected Taiga to be a little more… intelligent about English names.


There is no way in hell that an English teacher would have missed something off about an individual coming from Great Britain named 'Saber' as first name.


Also, I wonder how many times will Lancer dies in this story.


Fun Fact 7: Considering the grand influx of foreigners living and working in Fuyuki, it wouldn't be wrong to assume that the city has a nearby US base.


Fun Fact 8: Bazett is a fangirl of Cu Chulainn.


...


[ZA WARUDO: OVER CHAPTERU OMAKE!]


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


Omake 2: Summoning Issue (Emiya Combo 2)


Suggested by: Tazamz


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


-I proceeded to pass through the open gates of the institute, pacing moderately towards the main building's entrance while glancing around with a distracted stare.


I had to keep moving while also keeping an eye for any irritations coming my way this early.


It was just… too early.


I bit down a sigh of relief when I noticed very few people wandering the halls, only a handful of students minding their own business and mostly preparing for the soon-to-begin lessons.


But I wasn't interested in class, or at least not as 'much' as usual.


So none of you feel anyone here had set up no traps around?


N-Not for now, Master.


The coast is clear, Onii-chan.


I still was quite unsure how good of an idea had been to have just Kuro and Illya to follow me around for this day here at school.


It had all started earlier that morning when Irisviel had decided to give a proper look of my flat.


The mom-like figure had then assured me that while I was going through my day as usual with both of her daughters, Assassin and her would make sure that the place was rendered capable of not only housing the new arrivals, but to also become a pleasant place where to stay for me.


As if it hadn't been a nice house to have and… let's just say that I was worried.


When I finally reached home, the Caster's first thought was to check around for any suspicious thin-books.


I was confused at first by her comment as I couldn't grasp her meaning and it had been Kuro's innuendos much to Illya's growing embarrassment that gave me the solution to that dilemma.


Feeling a little cold at first at the possibility of the motherly woman to find my true and only stash, I ultimately told her that I had nothing of the kind hidden around the house and… she had looked fairly disappointed at that.


'Healthy boys need to have those! Or what kind of beast you might turn without proper education?'


Her words were still cruelly imprinted in my mind, but my dread at the opportunity vanished as I knew that it would have been impossible for the doting Servant to find where I had hidden my treasure.


My PC was in fact walled with three different passwords, each without any hint available for those that tried to access that weren't me!


I sighed in relief, starting to enjoy the fact that I hadn't to brace myself for any little trap ahead of me.


Now it was just time to go through my usual morning plan for the kind of occasion by picking all the proper paths that directly avoided making contacts with the kind of people I was trying to avoid the most.


It was still far too early to see Taiga wandering around, but it was just best to avoid dealing with any surprises from her part.


A few minutes passed smoothly, and I finally found myself easing up even more when I spotted Monk-boy himself walking in one of the distant corridors, seemingly busy by dealing with some Class President's stuff he was so prideful about.


A small grin appeared on my face as the bespectacled stick in the mud was the worst of the threats to find myself dealing right now as I was fairly certain that the Emiya was buzzing around somewhere near where the Archery club class was.


It was his little club, a place that I had long avoided for the sake of not dealing with a pincer maneuver made up by the redhead and the teacher with criminal-ties.


But just as I thought that things were actually going to be smooth for me to face without having to literally turn into a paranoid guy, here came the strange alarm from both smol Servants.


W-Wait, is that Oniichan?


Oh? So he is here too?


I tensed briefly, paling at who was following me.


Why is he actively searching for me? I thought I had been fairly fine to leave me alone yesterday.


I couldn't waste too much in pondering over the reasons driving such an irritating idiot from seeking to maybe have a 'talk' with me.


I didn't need it, especially with how dangerous things are right now.


Without bothering to turn around and properly check if it was really Shirou or someone that had red-hair (a strange case, but not truly impossible considering how many redheads are wandering the school), I continued for my merry way with a quicker pace, trying to appear as unaware as possible of the little pursuit that was happening away from public eye.


W-Wait, why are you running away from-


Can't explain right now, girls. I just need to avoid him for the reminder of this War.


Any particular reason for you to do that, Oniichan?


There are a few, yes.


I was now power-walking, swiftly and steadily, but I still kept myself from appearing actually panicking or even distressed as to gain the least kind of attention possible from the other students.


B-But isn't Oniichan a good person here?


Kind of but quite overbearing. There is a good motivation why I need to not get caught by him.


Did you do something naughty to him?


I bit down a huff at the little jab coming from the perverted Servant, but my attention was all directed at the mere fact that I was slowly starting to get away from the classroom I was supposed to be going inside to and that I was running in hallways of the school that were going to be less-crowded compared to right now.


I finally increased the pace a little more, this time growing a little bit desperate as I needed to find the best hiding spot where I can stop this chase and return to the classroom I was supposed to go in less than ten minutes from now.


He is kind of a stalker. He isn't that bad, but he is making his effort to mess up with my own life.


Really?


Yeah. Now, while I would like to keep entertaining this discussion, I kind of have to find a place where to hide and-


There is a classroom by the corner on the left, now.


Without hesitation, I rushed towards the place selected by Assassin and I almost jumped inside, quickly closing the door behind me.


I stared for a while at the only barrier that divided me from dealing with Shirou, the moment of the truth stretching far more than a few seconds.


Yet as I waited silently, trying to see if the boy was going to come inside after maybe somehow noticing me entering the place or not, I felt a finger poke twice at my left shoulder and forcing me to tense up in minor panic.


Girls, tell me that whoever it's behind me is not a naked girl.


Illya squeaked adorably at the sudden comment, but Kurou merely giggled at it.


'Girls', yes. Naked, no.


Thank God-


Disappointed and relieved that I wasn't going to be pummeled to death in that impossible-to-happen animesque scene, I slowly turned around only to find myself facing two girls I was very familiar with.


A confused Sakura Matou blinked quietly as she stared at my ruffled uniform and my winded state.


She was holding what looked to be a stack of documents and-


Two bright-blue orbs were now staring furiously into my own eyes and I felt a headache suddenly approaching my poor brain.


T-That's Rin-san!


Yep, and she doesn't seem to be happy with Oniichan.


"Graham," A certain twin-tailed girl greeted me coldly.


"Tohsaka," I returned with a lazier and informal manner, drawing a frown out of the annoyed model student.


Are you two enemies?


Kind of.


Is there someone that you aren't enemy with?


Anyone that isn't overly-attached to me, at least not this annoyingly.


Roger that~.


We continued what seemed to be a silent game for a few moments before the twin-tailed girl ceased this with a huff.


"Are you trying to pester me again with your pranks, Graham, because I've other things to do other than dealing with some childish idiot."


Oh, classy Tohsaka, trying to win a battle she has already lost. What a saddening sight.


"As if I want to be near your boring self, you egocentric brat," I scoffed with a disdainful tone, causing Rin to look murderous for a moment. "I am just trying to deal with issues way beyond your 'important' self."


"Egocentric brat?!" She shot back with a snarl. "That's rich from the lazy dumbhead that almost blew the entire class up during the first lesson of chemistry."


You did what, Master!?!


That sounds incredibly amusing! Can you tell us about that story later when we get back home?


I… I will. Just don't distract me right now.


Now I remembered why I despised being in the presence of the Tohsaka, she was just as unnerving as she had been from the very beginning of our knowledge of each other.


I could still remember the tinier but bitchier version of the prick before me, and I wouldn't be lying in saying that nothing truly changed about her.


Still the same arrogant girl that had been pestering me for an apology for 'trying to kill her' even now that it's been almost four years of knowing each other.


She took another step towards me, ready to capitalize even more on my silence, and I was ready to drop in the little fact I've learned about her economic situation from Kotomine…


When I saw her yelping and tripping forward towards me.


My body had been at ease, sporting just a little bit of tension from facing quite the irritating discussion, so when Rin started falling, it was too late for me to properly react to it.


I stumbled backward and right onto the ground, the girl falling onto me as her face reached mine and-


Chu~


Our eyes were both wide open and our faces exploded in bright blushes as we quickly realized that our lips were pressing against each other.


K-Kuro!


Tehe~, would you look at that? They made peace.


I was completely taken by that abrupt kiss, my brain having to reboot at the sudden predicament and I would say the same happened to the Tohsaka.


Moments later, the sounds of Sakura's papers falling to the ground seemed to bring us both back to reality.


She blinked and so I did and… Rin moved slowly away from my face.


"I-It was a mistake-"


"Y-Yeah," I agreed quickly, our stares moving away from each other as the girl stood up from the ground, first, with me following shortly after.


"I-I will be going Sakura," The Tohsaka nodded quickly waving at the fellow girl as she started to walk towards the door. "A-And you better get going, Graham-kun, classes are going to start soon."


I nodded, yet I wasn't looking at her. "I-I understand, Tohsaka-chan."


I-I don't know how to feel about this.


To think that Oniichan was a tsundere like Rin~!


The door closed and my ears caught the distinct noise of some quick-paced run ensuing.


Sakura blinked at the scene and frowned. "U-Uh, senpai?"


I blinked as I turned at her. "Y-Yes, Sakura-san?"


"W-Why did you… call Rin-senpai, 'Tohsaka-chan'?"


I blinked again, my blush returning as I realized the way we had both addressed each other at the end of the interaction.


"I-It didn't happen."


The plum-haired girl frowned. "B-But-"


"I-It never happen, Sakura-san!"


From there, I was left to recover without having to deal with Kuro's pranks and…


Shinji did fall from the stairs because of Sakura.


…


Maybe I shouldn't be giving life advice to people when I'm this much nervous.


----------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d---------


AN


Kuro, you little minx with your pranks and… Toshaka has feelings for- Nah, that couldn't be!


Fun Fact 9: Rin is a Tsundere. The stronger 'the hate', the higher the chances she might be crushing on someone.


Fun Fact 10: Somehow, Irisviel managed to hack into Sean's PC and found his stash. Kerry proceeded to meticulously erase bits of the PC's data in retaliation.

 

[JBukharin]

Chapter 5: Lottery of Murder (4)


I really hate mornings- and no, I'm not referring about standard issues about these.


No, I was… having quite the problematic discussion with someone I had forgotten to have around the house since yesterday.


Someone that was supposed to be staying on the couch as her wounds hadn't healed properly just yet.


Assassin's tone had initially sounded like a worrying alarm, in fact I literally jumped off my bed when I first heard his words loudly enter my mind. With my eyes open wide as I tried to recollect my memories of what had happened yesterday, my legs wobbling toward the doorstep of my room as I rushed downstairs.


The Servant had continued to explain the situation, that something was happening within the kitchen and that it required my direct presence. There was further detailing over 'what' exactly was going on, only that I needed to be there.


Which was worrying, annoying, and not the fright I needed to endure so early in the morning.


I spared just a glance to my watch, a curse rushing out of my lips as I tried to make sense of why that red-haired woman was awake at three in the morning!


I was furious, so much that my face had turned a light-red shade while I marched towards the room where the chaos was originating from.


My body tensed a little as I heard a bottle- or something made of glass, crash into the floor and shard exploding out of it.


My eyes widened again, this time letting me display the full-fledged anger I was brewing within my chest as I finally got sight over the absurd predicament.


Assassin was standing by the corner of the room, now approaching me as I slowly entered the kitchen, while Lancer was quietly looking at his Master going at it against my poor fridge, trying to find something.


I narrowed my eyes at the horrible ordeal that was continuing before my eyes.


Before I could say anything, the blue-haired spandex-wearing Servant decided to try and get the attention of the redhead before shit hit the fan properly.


"Uh, Master, ya should-"


"Q-Quiet!" The woman replied with a half-sob, her entire body shaking in a mix of pain and hatred as she continued to fish around the destroyed fridge. "W-Where the goddamn are the liquors-"


"I don't have any alcohol in the house." Except the one that has been turned in Molotov bombs.


The woman stopped instantly in her chaos-making, her entire frame tensing up at the sound of my voice as she slowly turned her head to look back at me.


Red eyes blinked right at my face.


"So, other than making me regret having accepted your Servant's plea of getting you cared for, is there anything you are trying to accomplish by destroying what little food I have to make use for this war?"


…


"You are Assassin's Master?" She inquired with a shocked look, ignoring what I've just said and causing me to facepalm at how infuriating all of this was turning out to be.


Not only was I supposed to make sure that I didn't die by lance up my rear, but I also had an Irish woman with a penchant of drinking out of some sorrow.


And why should she be even sad about everything? I thought it was Kotomine that backstabbed her, no big deal from my perspective.


"Yep, and you were trying to steal stuff from me," I replied dryly, her frown deepening at my response. "I've to ask now, is this like a standard of yours? Do you have to truly ruin people's fridges to repay their kindness in getting you to not die, or you are just a bitch so early in the morning?"


Her body tensed up again, and her eyes narrowed in a threatening glare right at me.


"The fuck you just said, you little shi-!!" The woman tried to take a step towards me, only for her injured leg to collapse and put her on her knees.


"Look, we can go all day long over the fact you technically aren't supposed to do bad shit at me," I spoke out with a serious tone. "Out of my incredibly limited mercy, I had you given shelter, a mean to heal and some food to eat…" I paused for a moment glancing at the mess on the floor. "Well, there was plenty of food, at least enough to last for a couple of weeks, and now I'm without that."


She groaned, trying to push herself back on her feet and I sighed.


"Can't you just help her?" I asked at the quiet Lancer. "It just seems so pitiful, can't you just-"


"B-Be quiet, you bastard!" Bazett exclaimed in annoyance… and pain. "A-As if I need some help to deal with a shit-mouthed low-level Magus with-"


"A gun."


"A gun-" The redhead paused, her body stopping again to stare back at me and her eyes went wide as she noticed the 'little' handgun now aimed right at her head.


"Yes, I know I'm a dickhead, a jerk, a bastard- whatever you want to call me, but I think the real issue here is that you messed up my goddamn fridge, you bitch!" I exclaimed loudly, getting a flinch out of her. "And I want to goddamn know why you went through my stuff, made this massive mess and now you were what? Trying to kill me with your little limp leg you got?"


The woman snarled at the sarcastic questions, but I wasn't done yet.


"You see, your Lancer was at least respectful to not do anything shifty while I graciously allowed for you to be left by my comfy couch," I pointed at the still silent guy. "And if a man wearing full-body spandex can be that much polite, I don't think it can be so difficult for you to not do this mad shit."


Bazett lowered her stare in minor embarrassment at that, but her Servant decided to finally speak out.


"Ohi, this isn't spandex, you brat!"


I blinked. "Then what is it?"


His mouth opened to reply at my question, but no words seemed to come out of it. There was some curious silence about it and then he nodded to himself.


"I-I don't remember exactly. It was something my teacher said so much time ago that… I kind of forgot," The blue-haired man scowled and groaned at his lack of recollection over the subject. "But this isn't spandex! The material used for this body-suit has for primary purpose to offer me means to move around as quickly as my body can, keeping flexibility and comfort as well."


I was confused at this point by this explanation as I was fairly sure that it was-


"I-Isn't that what Spandex is meant to do?"


Lancer's jaw dropped to the floor at that sudden comment coming from his Master, the red-haired woman glancing at him with a confused look.


"W-Wait Master, you don't really believe that I'm wearing Spandex, right?!"


…


"Aren't you?" Bazett asked with a soft, but surprised voice.


…


"I think I will go and pick myself some booze-" The Servant affirmed with a depressed tone, his sight directed at the exposed fridge, making me jump up in panic and anger.


"I'm stuffing your lance right where it should belong if you go there, Sétanta!"


The loud outburst managed to not only stop the blue-haired man from marching up to the fridge, but also put him in a state of sudden fright.


"S-Shinso, I didn't mean to-" He half-blurted in that moment of fear, stopping himself in time from concluding the sentence as his mind caught up with his words. "You didn't hear any of that, brat."


I snorted. "I heard it well enough to know that there is some blackmail material there-"


"Fat chance!" The Lancer snarled furiously, but didn't do anything aggressive other than glaring daggers at me.


Just as I prepared to press on with this situation, someone else decided to talk.


"How do you know- who told you what is Lancer's real name?"


I blinked at the redhead's sudden interruption, but I shrugged. "He kind of did. It was one of the guarantees I had him go through before getting you two in my house."


The woman's eyes went wide once more. "WHAT? What kind of guarantees are you talking about?"


"His name and yours."


…


"WHAT?"


"Okay, you are seriously starting to sound annoying now, Baz."


"I-I- My name isn't 'Baz', it's Bazette, you crazy brat," 'Baz' retorted with a renewed degree of anger.


"Well, his name is Sean," Lancer decided to quietly point out, drawing a frown from me, only to return it with a cheeky shrug.


The comment, which shouldn't have had any impact on her current state of fury, seemed to actually get her to pause for more than a couple of seconds.


"Wait, Sean as in… not a Japanese name."


"Parents died during the Fire of a decade ago, I think they were either tourists or my mother was Japanese," I replied curtly. "Still, it doesn't mean that-"


"And your name is Sean?"


I sighed. "Sean Graham, yes. And you are Bazett Fraga McRemitz."


There was some silence after this, the woman seemingly lost in her thoughts about this new discovery.


"So, why were you trying to search for booze in my fridge, Baz?"


She scoffed at the nickname I was so going to keep for eternity.


"Nothing important now," The redhead shot back, only for me to sigh.


"Look, can I at least know what are your thoughts about killing that priest that got you in that shitty state?" I inquired once again, ignoring a twitch on her face. "Like really, I want to know more about what kind of dickhead is Kotomine and-"


"He is a backstabber."


"That I was aware about from Lancer's-"


"I trusted him."


Oh. So that's what it's all about.


"How much trust are we talking about?"


"I-I considered him a friend and-" She stopped, a sob interrupting her narration there.


Quite curt as an explanation, but enough to see what kind of reasons had driven the woman to raid my poor fridge clean.


"He is actually a jerk," I pointed out. "I know that myself since I've worked for him until I found myself yanked in this crazy war stuff. That job was literally my only source of income and… I don't have means to get money during this war."


She blinked. "That sounds quite bad but-"


"And I know he has some Servants from the last War," I added with a groan. "Blond-haired bastard with red-eyes and the ego the size of the Everest."


Bazett tensed up at this. "A Servant from the Fourth Holy Grail War? Information from the Association never mentioned about Servants surviving after their own Wars."


"Well, Gilgamesh did somehow," I muttered with a sigh, the mentioning of that name getting her eyes to go wide again in shock. "And I don't know how to deal with him and the priest teaming up."


I let silence reign for some seconds, then I sighed. "That is why I wish to sign an alliance with you Bazett."


The woman blinked in surprise at this serious offer, and she frowned at my sincerity.


"Why?"


"Other than the priest being our common enemy?" I sarcastically pointed out. "I suppose there is also an issue presented by the fact that something is indeed wrong with the competition. I'm sure you've noticed."


"I did have the close encounter with a backstabbing bastard that is Kirei, and your words seem genuine," She muttered quietly, nodding at my guess. "I suppose we can be allies until this mess is solved."


I nodded and I slowly reached out for her as she had been stuck in a half-kneeling form while we were engaged in that discussion.


Blinking in surprise at my sudden helping hand, the redhead reached back and took hold of my hand as she carefully stood up.


Soon she was putting part of her weight on me, as I carefully led her back to the couch.


"There we go," I muttered while letting her take a seat back to the comfy thing, her face showing some surprise at this.


"You know, I expected you to be more crass and rude after this-"


"You ruined my fridge, and I reacted accordingly," I answered her little query before she could conclude it. "The reason why I returned fire with more fire was because you got all defensive on the mess you did there."


She blushed at this and huffed. "It's not my fault you don't have any liquor around."


"Well, that's sad- but now you can have Lancer clean up the mess while I'm out."


…


"Wait what?" Spandex guy shot back in a mix of confusion and self-concern.


"Since your Master can't do that, you will take up her mess and clean in up before I return back home."


Before I could speak again, the woman took hold of my arm, grasping it tightly. "Are you leaving?"


"I still have to go to school," I answered swiftly. "And I know two Masters are also students, but I would like to keep some anonymity for the moment."


"That sounds dumb," Bazett pointed out.


"But a necessary kind of dumb, much to my eternal dismay," I retorted quietly. "I hope you don't snoop around in my room. I've guns here."


…


"You what?"


"Since I'm in this War, and I don't have any spells to use to survive, I think guns will work best since Assassin has experience with this all."


The woman glanced at the masked Servant, and the man shrugged back calmly.


"That sounds terrible."


"We can go for some more discussions about this all, but I kind of have to be punctual for school," I pointed out calmly. "I don't plan to cause any issue with people."


Surprisingly enough, the redhead didn't speak any further about this and she did let go of my arm as I went through my usual morning routine.


After burning a full hour in that conversation, I was planning to go through some errands before reaching Homurahara Academy.


Something that would help me prank horribly a certain Kirei Kotomine.


---------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d----------------d-d-d-d------------


Turns out that the Mapo Tofu shop wasn't searching for now workers much to my immense chagrin.


A terrible discovery that did nothing to soothe my raw sense of annoyance I was feeling towards the world as of now.


Despite having concluded an excellent diplomatic success with Bazett becoming my ally, I still wasn't fully sure that things would improve from this point with how the situation was expanding on my front.


But for now, the issues of the Holy Grail War would have to settle down to make way to school-related problems.


After dodging perfectly both my usual troubles and my newest issue that was Rin Tohsaka, I found newfound solace in the school lessons with some of the soft-spoken teachers working there.


I ignored most of the words being given as I was still suffering from some sleepiness after sleeping less than my usual eight hours, merely settling my chin over my arms upon the desk.


Sometime I came close to fall asleep completely, but thanks to Assassin that was keeping watch over the situation with the teachers, I would 'wake up' when one of those appeared to be approaching me.


A foolproof plan that worked most of the times, yet I was surprised to notice that one teacher didn't act upon seeing me trying to get as much rest as possible.


Souichirou Kuzuki was a strict-looking man, very impassive in delivering his lessons, and possibly the only reason that made an interesting subject such as World History a nag to listen to.


The man glanced towards me several times during the lecture but he never went to try and approach me.


It was unnerving, to be silently looked by someone as dreadfully unsettling as Souichirou himself.


He might be a Master, Sean. His right hand is covered in bandages too.


I hummed in agreement at that comment, as I could see a man as reserved as Kuzuki-san to have some inner wish well-hidden from the world. Maybe it was something silly like infinite puppies, or perhaps he was as crazy as Kotomine.


Both circumstances were worrying for their own reasons.


Lessons ended a couple of hours later, uneventfully so, and, to my dismay, I ended up being the last one to leave class, a yawn threatening to explode my face with its mere strength alone.


Next time, you deal with that crap, Assassin.


I will try to do my best, Master.


As soon as I stepped out of the classroom I felt my Assholery sense picking a disturbance waiting just around the corner, and I deduced that there was only a single individual being capable of causing so much distress in the Asshole side of the Sass.


I turned to the left, my eyes boringly staring at the pathetic form that was Shinji Matou as he approached me with a furious look.


He had his left leg and his right arm all bandaged like a mummy, two clutches hanging from his hands.


"Do you think is funny, filthy Gaijin?! To have my own stupid sister harass me on your order?"


My smile just widened at the insult, feeling my fury slowly converting in pure vengeful power.


I shrugged. "I mean, you did do some creepy and annoying stuff to warrant this bitch of a karma, Shinji."


He almost snarled at my reply, his clutches trembling at the teen's silent anger now having his entire body shaking.


"I know you told something to Sakura, you ordered her to attack me-"


"As if I need Sakura to do anything Matou." I said as I kicked cleanly the clutches away, letting the moron fall on the floor.


The worm crawled around, squirming in an act of fear and worry.


"You see, Shin-chan," I mused loudly, finding his pained groans entertaining for some strange reason. I have very few people that actually deserve to suffer this degree of pain and more, but Shinji just was… unique for me.


"I don't need to use minions to hurt you. I will tell you this just this once, since I'm feeling bored with our usual 'bantering'. Sakura did all of this for herself and only herself, and by herself."


And for Shirou too, but he doesn't need to know about that.


"I will see you expelled!-"


"And I will see you tomorrow morning with your little clutches, Shin-chan."


As I walked away from the scene, I could have sworn I heard some noises that sounded like some muffled giggle coming from some classroom nearby, but I decided to shrug at that fact to continue with my plans.


I can't deal with some crazy individuals if there were any in Homurahara Academy, especially since I still had to find a way to face the issues of being unemployed.


I can't just pray for some lucky jobs, I really needed to find some place were to work that wasn't the one where Shirou was reportedly working by.


It was when I started to walk near to one of the small green areas of the city that I noticed someone familiar working out with long bow and targets.


I blinked, quite surprise that I would have found her


"Mitsuzuri," I greeted quietly, interrupting the girl from continuing with her exercise. "I see that Shinji messed up with the club's session again."


She sighed tiredly, but nodded as a smile adorned her face.


"He has been nagging Sensei to skip the session since earlier this morning," The brunette admitted with a nod. "But thankfully, Taiga-sensei allowed me to bring around some equipment so I could do some activity on my own."


The moment she concluded her last sentence, her hand released the arrow's feathered end and the projectile silently reached for the target set a couple of meters away from where she was standing.


It landed close to the middle, a slight upward deviation, but still close enough to see it as a good shoot.


"So, how have things been for you, Sean," Ayako inquired as she prepared a new arrow out of her holster. "Anything odd happening to you?"


...Odd?


"Just losing my job with the creepy priest," I muttered quietly, getting her to stop instantly as she looked with some concern within her eyes.


"You what?"


"I didn't exactly warrant that-"


"Then why didn't you oppose this?" The girl pressed on, her voice growing even sterner than before. "You normally would put up a nasty fight for your means to survive."


Normally, that would be the case.


But sadly, this whole situation isn't normal at all.


"There have been some complications that got me to not fight for it," I started to explain carefully, her stare intensifying the more I tried to dig myself out of that hole I've pushed myself into. "Like, he is literally closing the Church for some renovation and that would take God knows how long."


…


"I think you are lying," The brunette judged with a hum, before turning her attention back at the target. "But since you don't want to talk about it, it has to be something not worth much of a reason to share with me."


I sighed, shaking my head in a moment of self-disappointment as I think I know where things were spiraling from there.


"Mits- Ayako, you know that I couldn't just-"


"You are still my Aniki, Sean," The young woman commented sternly. "You are still the funny and caring sibling I always wanted. And you are Minoru's Aniki too."


I sighed again, this time finding it difficult to climb out of that messy issue I was falling into.


"But we aren't rela-"


"Does it matter to you?!" The girl this time dropped her bow as she turned back at me, her eyes burning in brief fury. "It didn't matter when we were children, when you didn't have to uphold some moronic pride of yours and-"


"I'm sorry."


…


"Are you truly?" She asked quietly, her voice and expression turning somber for that occasion. "I feel you truly aren't."


"You… I still care for both of you-"


"Yet you never try to come as close to even talk to Minoru," Ayako shot back with an angry tone. "He has been so lost without you, he thinks you despise us for some reason."


"I don't-"


"But he doesn't know that! You are always wandering around, fooling with people and trying to be this 'sassy guy' when you are just a horrible clown."


I tensed up at that and… I felt really upset about how things are turning out to be.


Perhaps I had been indeed a moron to not try to keep contacts going, I did have some good connection with the two siblings, especially with how close we were up to the final grade of elementary school.


Yet I had burned it all when High School started, when things had turned to a degree I couldn't just sustain with people buzzing around.


"Ayako-"


"Don't bother," The girl interjected one last time. "I think I will be going home now."


"I really-"


"Stop."


"But-"


"I said-!!"


She tensed up as I had my arms wrapped around her neck, my chin reaching up to the top of her head.


The brunette sighed, she looked down, covering her face from my sight.


"I don't want to talk with you now."


"I'm not planning to talk then."


"I don't want to hug you."


"Then I shall do a one-sided hug."


…


"You're right about this," I muttered quietly. "I should have tried to keep up with stuff and I just disappointed everyone."


"..." She didn't say anything, her silence giving me little relief as I continued.


"I am an utter jerk for letting go of you all," I sighed tiredly. "Can you forgive this dickhead of an Aniki… Aneki?"


The brunette sighed, slowly turning around as she leaned her face onto my chest.


"Language."


I snorted at that, but my brief amusement was interrupted by a pair of arms wrapping around my waist.


"Can you… be at our house for lunch tomorrow, Aniki?" She asked quietly and politely. "I know it's sudden but I think Minoru would appreciate."


I hummed at this, pondering over the fact that I would have to be extra-careful with the Holy Grail War, but I just couldn't… ignore this.


I just couldn't.


"I will be there," I promised, patting her head. "And I hope that Mino-tan didn't become as Emo as I've been hearing he has turned out to be."


Ayako sighed. "He's just going with a minor version of that phase. Nothing to worry about since I'm keeping watch over him."


"And I'm sure you are going to be a hound about this," I commented happily, getting a giggle out of her as we started to make way towards her house. I decided to escort her back to her home, unwilling to let any fun business happening to the girl now that she was out in the open and alone.


The task was particularly quick, since there was no one there to greet us once we arrived. Minoru had stayed at Homurahara for some club activities while her parents were busy with their family's dojo.


With that little situation concluded with a peaceful opportunity to restart some good relationship I had with the Mitsuzuri clan, I decided to quickly make my way back home… only to find myself dealing with even more trouble as I found myself making a path fairly close to the church.


Master, I feel massive prana concentration by the Church.


Could it be blondie and the priest-sidekick?


I.. doubt it. It felt too much higher to be just a Servant.


Good, the war had officially started two days ago and there was already a big battle happening. Can I get any luckier than this?


Maybe we could use this opportunity to gather more information regarding our enemies.


The little power-walk to approach to where the battlefield lasted around fifteen minutes and when I found myself quite the hiding spot in some bushes, I turned my gaze at the clearing and-


OH MY GOD, WHAT IS THAT!!


I recognised Emiya and Tohsaka hiding behind a blonde swordswoman, and in front of them all a humongous monster of muscles and rage that waited patiently to strike down his soon-to-be victims.


As I looked closer I found myself stunned by a familiar smaller figure giggling behind the 'roid-man.


I blinked, my face paling as I realized way too quickly who it was and-


Assassin, I don't feel it right when I am fighting literally little girls for a cup.


The Servant didn't reply, silently watching over the scene as it unfolded.


Perhaps it's best… we don't intervene about this.


------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d-


"So this 'Sean Graham' is another Master, Souichirou?"


Caster hummed quietly as her hood hid her pensive look over the retelling offered by her newest Master.


To think that another brat had managed to summon a Servant right as she had planned to summon one herself and cheats through the Grail System.


Sadly, this plan had been foiled by this summoning in particular as it had left no space to apply to summon a true Servant.


An Assassin would have been a most useful tool for the Witch of Betrayal, especially to keep her lovely Master away from danger while also protecting her new base here in the Ryoudou Temple.


It was truly annoying, yet the predicament was something that could be salvaged with the calmest of mind and most savage of plans, especially since this new Servant felt much stronger than many currently competing in this War.


Her Master could lure the boy in the Temple, just like he did with the silly bespectacled boy that was all strict and suspicious about her presence here.


She would gain not only a Servant but also a bigger battery to reinforce the Boundary Fields, maybe even some new materials to expand her little workshop.


Or maybe gain a new, loyal ally to use against Berserker...


Yes, it could work too.


She giggled at how many opportunities were still open to her to exploit and pick out of the chaotic mess that was going to be this competition, then she sighed tiredly.


With a smile, Medea stopped looking at the small crystal ball she had conjured to monitor the current whereabouts of the young man, resuming with her current projects.


It was high time to reward her strong and resourceful Souichiru after all. Maybe with some good enchantments to help against that pesky but adorable Saber.


-------------d-d-d-d-d--------------d-d-d-d--------------d-d-d-d-d-----------


AN


So many things happening at once! I wonder what is the next step of this chaotic madness unfolding in Fuyuki. WHO KNOWS!?


Fun Fact 11: Ayako Mitsuzuri is a childhood friend to Sean Graham. She considers him close family and the feeling is mutual.


Fun Fact 12: Spandex Guy is still cleaning the mess created by his Master.


AND NOW!


[ZA WARUDO: OVER CHAPTERU OMAKE!]


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


Omake 3: Summoning Issue (Emiya Combo 3)


Suggested by: Tazamz


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


When I decided to spend a full day away from school, and skip lessons with the excuse of being sick, I hadn't expected things to develop in this strange mannerism.


Assassin had left the house pretty early in the morning, mentioning that he had a couple of things to accomplish before Lunchtime.


Irisviel had seemed calm about this, while her daughters didn't seem to care about it all.


Instead, the two twin-like girls were trying their best to give me some company, only to create some awkward instances because of Kuro and the 'talking stick' Illya had been calling 'Ruby'.


The 'Kaleidostick', as the older Caster had referenced the thing as, was something of a major pervert, even worse than the tanned girl that had caused no little issues with that stunt she had pulled the day before.


And after learning that my PC had been formatted by a concerned Irisviel and a furious Assassin, I couldn't help but be left to the crazy developments created by the two young girls.


Illya was actually trying her best to keep things from escalating further than they seemed to be, making some positive contrast to Chloe's undeniably annoying attempts to 'catch my attention'.


The issue with the reserved girl was that, while she wasn't trying to be awkward, her luck seemed to put her in terrible circumstances, especially with Ruby 'shaking things up' with her powers.


I discovered way too unexpectedly that leotard was going to be my worst enemy in this new situation I had with the Holy Grail War still happening.


In fact, despite the serious explanation about how this competition was going to be brutal and horrible and murdery, I felt like there was some massive misunderstanding since… bad things were not happening.


Like, really bad things were far from being a real thing.


I knew pervy things were bad, but it wasn't killing bad.


The real dangerous problem I had to keep an eye on was Irisviel's genuine effort to try and cook some meal for the family.


I learned that putting some water on a pot, without turning on gas or fire, can actually catch on fire without proper attention. It was unique, especially since it happened twice.


I was shocked, I was confused and-


-Thud


I'm back.


The mental comment from Assassin made me almost jump in fright while I continued to stare over at the older Caster went on with her attempts. Truly a determined lady that sadly failed to understand she wasn't meant to cook stuff.


The masked figure was now standing right in the middle of the living after having entered from the now-open window nearby.


I blinked at him and sighed as I felt easing at the realization that it was one of my Servants.


"Took some time to do whatever you wanted to do and-!!"


Shock returned on my face the moment I noticed the three big bags that were now lying at Assassin's feet.


I could only see part of what was inside those heavy things, and the limited sight was more than enough to give me a complete idea of their contents.


Several guns' barrels were popping through the barely-open bags, and then I saw several plushies, some ingredients, and what looked to be some school material.


I felt my thoughts die in a single-lined trail as I turned up to look at the Servant.


"Assassin. Did you perhaps… steal those?" I asked while pointed calmly at what could be considered a good-enough reason to go to jail if the police caught notice of this issue.


The masked figure appeared to be calm while he glanced at me.


"Yes."


The lack of shame was enough for me to facepalm and groan loudly at the fact he had just committed some massive crime- and I was going to be the one to be trialed if somehow I was caught with these around.


"I made sure that I wasn't seen while carrying this equipment back to the house," The Servant continued to explain with a quite tone. "I managed to gather some munitions for the various firearms I've recovered. All those will be useful for me to use to succeed in this war."


I blinked, moving my hands away from my face. "But why the school material and food?"


"Iri asked for more ingredients to try out more recipes, and I thought that Illya and Chloe would have appreciated some material to draw things and some toys to play with."


I gave him a careful nod, my mouth opening to continue the discussion, but I was interrupted by two missiles reaching for the bag filled with cute things.


"Papa! You got us so many nice things," Illya happily stated while checking inside the bag.


"And something to write and draw in. Nice!" Kuro nodded eagerly as she took a small notebook with the classic 'Neko-Arc' logo and a pen to start doing stuff with these.


"What about the guns?" I asked calmly. "I suppose those are all yours."


"Not exactly," He replied curtly. "There is a gun that I wish for you to carry around for the time being. Something that will be useful in case you get attacked."


Frowning at his comment, I didn't have time to bring up some confusion out-loud that I got presented with the piece of weaponry that was supposed to be my own mean to defend myself for this war.


He released it in my waiting palms as I stared at the odd design of the handgun, drawn by the mix of old-modern style that it was designed to be.


Glancing around, I found myself caught off-guard by the particularly-long barrel and… the fact that it was a single-shot.


I checked its lone chamber, impressed by the size as I was sure that despite the incredibly-limited capacity it still had to pack some mean punch.


…


Yet that wasn't something that was meant to be used for the sake of self-defence.


I was expecting a M1911, or even a Beretta M15- God, even an old-style Luger or Walther PP would have been better than this.


"Thanks?"


"You're welcome, Master."


What the hell is going on with this family!?


-----------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d-------------d-d-d-d-


AN


Oh no, Sean was exposed to The Beast mode of the Magical Illyaverse. NOOOOO!


P.S. There are plans for Canon about that. Tehe~!


Fun Fact 13: Illya has some perverted bad luck.


Fun Fact 14: There is a reason why it's either Sella or Shirou cooking, never Irisviel.

 

[JBukharin]

New Warning: Skimming ruins the reading pacing.


Chapter 6: Trilemma of Justice (1)


Sparks erupted from the clash of the two Servants, their blades (I think it was a blade in case of the blonde semi-transparent weapon) matching in a brief skirmish of strength.


Considering the obvious difference of power between the monstrous muscle-guy and the slim girl with pretty armor and dress, it was pretty easy to see who exactly was at disadvantage.


The swordswoman halted the first attack of the- Wait, is that the Berserker?


It seems so. He does look quite... berserk in this moment.


I shot a poisonous glare at the sassy reply, feeling my metaphorical crown slipping away from my head because of this uptight arse's being incredibly smarty-assed with some of his replies.


I returned my stare to the escalating scene, avoiding my need to pursue some out-sassment of this sassy sasshead of a Servant.


Just in time for me to see a ball of red and black flying so determinedly towards me and- OH FUCK!


Assassin pulled me out of the way just in time, letting the sphere crash harmlessly on one of the trees behind me.


"Gandr," My Servant explained quickly. "A curse spell that could have killed you considering its size and magical concentration, Master."


I blinked back to pinpoint who was the one that had tried to attempt an assassination at me, and I frowned furiously at the smug-looking Tohsaka now staring at me, her finger pointing where I stood previously with some energy still coloring her index and middle finger.


Wait, does that mean that she can shot energy balls via middle fingers? This is so… cool. But also annoying because such a cool move was used against me.


"Can I return the favor?" I inquired quietly, not even bothering to look at Assassin while asking about this. "I really want to reply with the same kindness."


The Servant silently thought of the implications of letting me do so but seemed to relent fairly as he explained how to focus prana into the spell.


It was my first spell, thus I was given plenty of details over how a proper Gandr should look like.


A curse meant to either paralyze or kill the user's targets, it was considered one of the easiest incantations that even a third-class Magus should be able to do.


Carefully and incredibly patiently, I started to channel some of the energy from within my circuits, with blue light turning into red and black, all of it focusing in the formation of a dark-scarlet ball of destruction.


And as the bigger sphere of darkness was primed and ready to be sent at my current subject of irritation, I proceeded to see it rush even faster than the one Rin had threw first right into the Tohsaka.


I felt pretty sure I had put way too much energy into it by the very moment I perceived my body weakening because of the strain.


Sapphire eyes widened in brief moment of shock, awe, and dread as she barely managed to dodge the curse sent her way, which landed few meters away from where she had been standing.


Differently from her own version of her Gandr, my own spell actually exploded and created a small crater on the ground the moment it entered in contact with the floor.


I blinked, a small devious smile forming once my face as I just learned a new and magical way to explode things along my path.


I, the Sass King, have learned how blow to smitheerins my fiends of foes and prove righteously how mighty I am!


In my state of euphoric self-praise, I ended up forgetting a very important, if not life-saving detail that Assassin decided to remind in that exact moment.


"It's no use to retreat now, Master," My Servant muttered with a hint of irritation. "Berserker's Master has noticed us."


My hype died at those words as I felt paling at the idea of waging a battle against that crazy strong bastard, noticing just now that Illya was looking at my gloating self with a surprised look plastered on her pretty face.


Welp, our cover has been screwed beyond repair!


I could've taken a more subtle approach… but then Rin had to mess my safe plan of merely spectating the battle instead of being forced to join in there.


As I started to walk out of the bushes, I noticed that both the blonde and the humongous Servant had retreated back to their respective Masters.


Just as I paused, finding myself right in the middle of the two groups, with one having a certain Tohsaka trying to make a gawking Shirou recover at the absurdity of the scene unfolding before his eyes, and the other having Illya now slowly approaching me me.


She paused once she was close enough to speak, her Servant following behind but seemingly restraining its murderous intents as the little girl gave me a confused and intrigued look.


"Sean-niichan?" The white-haired little lady asked with a curious tone. "What are you doing here?"


I really didn't want to waste too much time with explanations, so I merely pointed at Assassin, the Servant now on the verge of facepalming at my lack of finesse over the odd instance.


"Oh? You are a Master too?" I nodded at her follow-up inquiry, causing her to sigh sadly. "I truly don't want to fight you, Oniichan. You are actually nice."


I blinked at the genuine answer from her not just throwing her Servant at me, making me wonder if this was connected to the little early interaction that we had a couple of days ago.


Her behavior was mostly the same, if not for a hint of maturity that hadn't been there back in our first meeting.


It was genuinely surprising that this predicament was truly happening, completely subverting any of my previous theories correlated to the identity of Berserker's Master.


Illya was the behemoth's controller, thus one of the seven Masters within the Holy Grail War and… I was rather reluctant to consider attacking a little girl, even though of circumstances pushing me in that direction.


"I'm sorry for the situation, Illya-chan," I said with a sad tone, slowly reaching out to pat her head. "But I actually have a wish that I want to accomplish."


"Is that so? What is it, what is it?" She tugged at my arm quite eagerly and I almost snorted at her giddy attitude about it but, as I prepared to give a proper explanation, a certain girl decided to finally unleash her anger born from the outright madness being unveiled before her eyes.


"I don't care about it!" Rin exploded loudly, glaring fiercely at the two of us "You fucking moron, you just tried to kill me just a moment ago."


I gasped at her tone and covered Illya's ears just in time as I expressed disappointment at the newest low coming the nagging girl.


"You fricking tsundere, Illya is a child and you should certainly not swear in front of her!" I snapped back with some irritation. "Also you attacked me first and I retaliated in the name of self-defence."


"Self-defence my arse! I knew Kotomine was up to something when he told me about you being a Master."


"W-Wait!" The red-haired teen exclaimed in confusion. "Sean is a Master? D-Do we have to attack him?"


"Considering that the tsundere attacked me first, I reckon there isn't much doubt about it," I replied with a tired sigh, but I soon realized that I had failed to satisfy the redhead's doubts.


"B-But why? I thought that we- I mean, we're students from the same school, why do we need to-"


The girl turned to look at her ally in shock and I felt the need to grin at the fact that their united front was collapsing this suddenly and without much of a reason behind it.


"Sean-niichan, can you stop it?" I blinked, turning down to see a pout adorning Illya's face for a moment, urging me to remove my hands from little girl's ears.


She sighed in relief at the compliance and nodded. "Also since last time you helped me, I wanted to invite you for dinner.. maybe today?"


I tensed up a little bit. "I actually have two dummies living at my home right now, I can't… actually leave them alone for too long."


The girl deflated at that response, but I resumed with my headpatting.


"But I reckon that tomorrow I will be having lunch at some nice people's house," I suggested quietly. "If you want, you can join. I'm sure they wouldn't mind-"


"And don't just ignore us, Graham!" Rin returned with some more annoyance. "We're not done yet."


I sighed. "Look Rin, I… I really don't care."


… "What?!"


"I really don't want to deal with this," I repeated. "I mean, have you seen Shirou's Servant? She had some massive troubles fighting Berserker."


The blonde tensed up a little at becoming subject of almost everyone's sight. Looking away and appearing quite annoyed at being mentioned in such a fashion.


"Plus, from my understanding you're a Master too and… your Servant wasn't helping Shirou's," I pointed out with some confusion. "Why's that? Are they the flashy kind of morons that just jump when they have the chance of appearing cool'?"


"He's..." The Tohsaka's attempt to retort my comment died by her lips, her face sporting a brief blush about it. "H-He's busy."


"I think she just can't control her Servant," Illya suggested with a smug smile. "In fact, I think she was trying to call him to join, but he refused."


...That's just sad.


"I-It's not true," Rin stammered a little at the accusation and I sighed at that, restraining myself from shaking my head at the disappointing situation.


Truly, I would've expected much more from the tsundere, perhaps more steel to command her rebellious Servant.


"I suppose this battle is well over?" I asked Illya first, drawing a quick nod and a little yawn from her. "And I reckon that you should need some rest… Saber."


The blonde tensed up in surprise once again, this time her eyes widening in shock at me mentioning her class name.


"Really Shirou, keeping her class name as the real one might convince Taiga… but like, another Master can easily see that you're a Master from that detail being broadcasted so easily."


The young Emiya blushed at being called out over this big flaw on his Servant's cover. With Rin deigning him with a sigh before shaking her head in utter defeat.


"I will accept this truce," She conceded angrily. "But don't expect for me to just forget about-!! Hey, where are you two going?"


"Sean-niichan promised me to help walk back home!" Illya replied happily. "And it's getting quite late, so we're going."


She waved her hand over her head. "Bye Oniichan, bye Tohsaka-baka."


Before the older girl had a chance to reply at that insult, the little Einzbern grasped at my hand and pulled me away and towards the proper way to reach the castle.


Giggling away with such a mirthful manner, I couldn't help myself but chuckle too at how silly the situation had escalated and… we were gone.


-----------d-dd-d-------------------d-d-d-d-----------------------d-d-d--------------------------


"It seems that Graham-kun has a good relationship with the Lesser Grail," The priest commented with a dull tone.


The church was quiet as only him and the King of Heroes were occupying the main room, with the rest of the daily functions having already ceased an hour or so earlier.


Gilgamesh didn't react to this news at first, with his mind taken by something else away from this matter as Kirei continued to admire from afar with an amused glint in his eyes the whole chaotic scene.


The irritation of his 'apprentice' being outsmarted so terribly, and the utter confusion perceived by the young Emiya as he tended at his still-injured Servant.


But the former ruler of Uruk wasn't concerned by both, as his mind was trying to make sense as to why his clairvoyance was failing to see these events unfolding before-hand.


This was concerning to a fair degree, but also interesting as it was slowly elevating the importance that the Master of Assassin had over the Holy Grail War- no, the rest of the world.


A unique piece that the King of Heroes couldn't help but be endeared by as he pondered over the eventuality of making him his Master.


The exquisite input of Prana, the flexibility of their relationship- all these details would only favor the Golden Archer to actually pursue an adequate match with his Saber.


A pity that the blonde heroine had been summoned by such an annoying individual, the mere presence of this young man within the multiverse would always see him paired one against the other.


The original against the faux copy. How infuriating.


Perhaps removing him would fix things? He could see Tokiomi's heiress actually be a good Master.


And by 'good', he was thinking incapable of stopping a proper fight between him and the fellow King.


She would still end up his, there was no doubt about it- and yet he was worried.


So much worried about the odd uneasiness developing from the lack of knowledge over the future of one Sean Graham.


Something had changed since their last encounter and… he was unsure truly of what truly it was.


"Is there something that troubles you, my liege?" Kotomine ultimately inquired, his intrigue over the silence of the former Archer drawing a curious reaction out of him.


Red eyes burned dangerously at the implication advanced, silencing the priest early on with just a simple glare from him.


Yet the King of Heroes sighed as he dropped his now empty, golden cup, his eyes showing now conflicting thoughts over everything happening in this War.


"I had expected for that Mongrel to at least not encounter her in such a situation, but now they are going to be foes in the grand war," He mused quietly, ignoring the presence of a witness so close. "But I do find fascinating that the cur had decided to mix his fate with that meat doll with so few, unconscious actions."


Kirei nodded. "Indeed. For some reasons I find it nostalgic, similar to the previous war… and yet not."


The King blinked, curiosity dancing in his embers.


"Is that so?" He inquired placidly. "You want to compare the mongrel to that mutt that was Kiritsugu Emiya, Kirei?"


The curiosity morphed into a slow-paced challenging tone.


"Do you wish to attack him?" The blond pressed on with a mix of intrigue and irritation. "Because I remind you that I consider you less important than him, and I will strike you down if you slight me with this."


The Kotomine bowed carefully and closed his eyes at those words.


"Accept the apologies of this shameful servant, my liege."


Gilgamesh scoffed and looked away, returning to think how this interesting battle will end.


Maybe there was something similar to Kiritsugu within that foolish human but there was also... something else.


Something of old, something unique.


The King concluded by shrugging at this oddity.


After all he had more than enough time thanks to the War to find more about this little secret of the mongrel.


-----------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d----


Once I was done helping Illya by escorting back to her home, I proceeded to make my hasty return back home with a couple of thoughts rising up to my mind.


My greatest hope was that Bazett and Lancer hadn't done anything that could've worsened their current standing within my house.


While my alliance with the redhead was very limited and strained, I still wanted to keep some friendly attachment to someone that seemed to be well-versed in this kind of messes.


The young woman seems to have a degree of awareness related to the dangers of this conflict that not only was helpful to have to deal with, but it also offered some relief in the fact that I wasn't exactly in the worst situation possible as I had long suspected.


I knew the identity of four of the six other Masters of the Holy Grail War. I befriended two of them, or at least I was in friendly relations with those, and I knew of the two other individuals tend to usually work in this kind of situations.


I had some plans to make Rin's life difficult about this instance, knowing that she was far more dangerous than Shirou and easier to actually kick out of the competition with enough pressure.


Despite the fact that she had some strong motivation to be fighting in this war, the girl wasn't as strong-willed as she wished to appear, nor as neat and careful as she would usually do during the school days.


Given proper issues, the young Tohsaka was meant to collapse in her own efforts of success.


Still, my current worry was still directed at a certain Irish Woman and, just as I walked inside my house and closed the main door behind me, I gave a quick look at the living room.


Having folded her jacket by the couch, the redhead was currently investing much of her attention in studying individually numerous gem-like rocks that had been put idle on the small wood table in front of the sofa.


Her Servant was grumbling and huffing while seemingly engraving some strange letters in each and every bright stone by the table.


"We're back," I finally muttered, drawing Bazett's attention as the woman nodded.


"Welcome back."


I hummed quietly as I took a couple of steps toward the table to study the rocks.


"What's going on here?" I inquired quietly, drawing a sigh from Lancer.


"Making some runes for Master," Cu Chulainn answered with some annoyance. "I mean, I can see the logic of making contingencies, but this is reminding me way too much of my training with… her."


I blinked at that comment. "Her?"


"The only magic teacher he had was Scathach-" Bazett tried to mention, only to be interrupted by a nervous spandex-wearing moron.


"It's- don't mention her name."


"Why are you even scared of this 'Scathach'?" I questioned with some confusion. "It's not like she's still around to give you trouble."


…


"Wait, you mean to tell me that-"


"She is still alive, aye," He confirmed with a slow nod. "But she has confined herself to her own fief after a little while I died, the Land of Shadows."


"That sounds rather… tragic?" I guessed, only for him to tense up for a moment and… sigh.


"She was a good teacher. Stern, very vengeful, but overall someone that had a strongly good moral over the world," Lancer started to explain. "But she did some 'early mistakes', or at least she said something along those lines, that got her embroiled in a situation in which she can no longer find death."


That's actually pretty bad. I mean, I can imagine that living eternally could be fun up until a century or two of wasting time around, but after that it would tend to be quite unnerving if not self-annoying.


And that is while also ignoring the whole 'relatives and friends dying so soon for you'.


"And you mean that she just sealed herself off?" I pressed a little more. "I mean, there has to be something she could do there instead of just."


"I've visited the Land just twice in my lifetime and… it was pretty barren back then. I reckon it could be worse now."


"So she just… lives here alone and without anything to do… like that?" I asked for more, but the young man shook his head.


"Don't go down this path. Shinso is hardly someone that cares about pity, in fact I think she would despise it if you said something like this to her," Lancer admitted. "Also, I don't want to see you both met. I can already see some ugly scenario coming out of it and… that makes my worries of opening any portal to that quite-"


"You can create entrances to the Land of Shadows?" Bazett jumped in with some surprise. "I thought that as a Lancer you wouldn't have been able to-"


"Just as I can produce runes with these gems," The spandex-guy interrupted with a nod. "I can also make a portal that leads there, yes."


That was actually interesting to know considering how everything in this War could go wrong and… that information was saved in my mind as something that could come handy in some heated predicaments.


"That's interesting- and I see that you've cleaned up the kitchen's mess."


Lancer groaned while Bazett merely nodded distractedly at the news.


"By the way, tomorrow I will be having lunch at a friend's house, so I will not be-"


"You're leaving your house once more to my Master?" Cu Chulainn interrupted confusedly. "Are you sure this is wise?"


The redhead tensed up and glared up at her Servant, while I merely frowned at this reply.


"Care to elaborate?"


"I didn't do anything-"


"Let's just say that her initiative to prepare runes comes from the fact that-"


"I will use a Command Seal if you-"


"What did you do?" I turned my attention at the redhead, interjecting her little threat. She flinched at the question.


"I… I just took a peek at your room."


"More like she got a full look of your little arsenal and-"


"Don't-"


"Continue," I demanded from Lancer. "What did she do."


He hesitated for a moment, his stare alternating between me and his Master… but then he sighed.


"She used your PC."


…


Oh.


"That is… really bad," I commented slowly. "How much have you seen through the web-"


"Actually, she stuck at the internal files," The spandex-guy continued to explain much to his Master's growing embarrassment. "In fact, I'm surprised you have stored so much of that-"


"Don't!" The redhead finally snapped. "I will not allow this to continue from there. Let's just say that I will no longer snoop around your room-"


"Because you've already done that?" I concluded for her, feeling quite annoyed by this discovery.


The woman had decided to break that little rule and check on my room, search around for clues and then using my PC… and finding something embarrassing.


I really didn't want to bring that very last detail up as I had a fair idea of what she was talking about, but I really didn't need to see that kind of conversation shape up.


"Please, explain to me why did you feel need to goddamn fish around my room when I remember asking you to not to?" I inquired with an incensed tone.


She sighed. "I was-"


"Bored-"


"You know, I'm getting pissed at having this kind of conversation devolving like this, spandex-guy," I snapped at the Servant. The man frowned at the nickname, but I quickly continued. "I understand the teasing, but I really want to talk with your Master about this serious topic without having to deal with this back and forth."


There was silence for a couple of seconds after that, and then I returned my attention to the woman.


She was tense for some time, but ultimately she conceded some words after a long sigh.


"I wanted to see if there was anything I should've been worrying about your helpfulness," The redhead confessed with some hesitation. "I've already seen how much 'helpful' Kirei had been and-"


"And you looked into my PC without asking my permission."


…


"Oh, I'm angry. I really am. I can see the logic behind this action, but I'm pissed at the fact that you went behind my back for that," I continued with a stern tone. "I would've shown you my room with some supervision, and perhaps you wouldn't have ended up having to see my stash."


She blushed again at the mere mentioning of the reason why there was an embarrassing note in this instance. She wasn't regretting having snooping around in general, she just was grimacing the fact she found that very bit in her little investigation.


"It's not like she lost anything from that discovery," Lancer commented distractedly, continuing with his activity of engraving the remaining untouched gems. "In fact, I remember her using her USB to-"


"Enough," I facepalmed softly at that, feeling like I was digging in quite a lot of messes at once with this discussion. "I don't need this."


"What's wrong with a lady agreeing at what you find lovely?" The Servant mirthfully added. "In fact, I see it as a reason to bond even more out of this and-"


"I will use all my command seals to see you killed in the most gruesome and humiliating way, Lancer," Bazett interrupted with a cold tone, her eyes directed at the floor as her face was now ashen-looking from that very development. "It will be so brutal and-"


"I will be… taking a shower now," I commented quietly. "A long, cold one to wash away this… situation."


"If it isn't asking too much, I will pick the next turn once you're done."


I merely nodded, feeling my brain going numb at the conversation I was just subjected about.


I tried to shift my focus away from that topic, and yet the thought persisted even when I reached for the door handle of the bathroom.


Master.


I blinked, pausing there with a frown.


Yes?


I was thinking that we could spend some time training before dinner. You would need some preparation with your new endeavor in Magecraft and the use of guns.


I nodded silently and I took a step inside the room, incredibly unsure about how I was supposed to deal with the novelties I've discovered just today.


Hopefully, this predicament with Bazett will not escalate any further from this embarrassing point.


------------d-d-d-d--------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d---------d-d-d-d------------


AN


Oh my, to think that-


Actually, considering how lonely the woman is, I wonder if she ever… had some issues about that.


But let's not wonder over the curious cases that were just alluded in the VN. Time to shift our focus right into the next parts!


Fun Fact 15: Bazett might or might not have some limited but comprehensive knowledge of how a PC works.


Fun Fact 16: She never had a boyfriend before.


[ZA WARUDO: OVER CHAPTERU OMAKE!]


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


Omake 4: Summoning Issue (Emiya Combo 4)


Suggested by: Tazamz


-------------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d--------


I really hate mornings- and no, I'm not referring about standard issues about these.


While I found it rather problematic that Kuro had decided to optimally sleep right beside me, tightly squeezing against me because of how small was the bed, and even worse the fact that Illya had thought it smart to join in with the notion of actually preventing any bad situation from happening from there, this wasn't my real problem.


No, I was… having quite the problematic discussion with someone I had forgotten to have around the house since yesterday.


Someone that was supposed to be staying on the couch as her wounds hadn't healed properly just yet, with Irisviel having taken the burden of keeping an attentive watch over her recovery.


Assassin's tone had initially sounded like a worrying alarm, in fact I literally jumped off my bed when I first heard his words loudly enter my mind, with both of the twins yelping in surprise at the sudden action I had gone for.


Falling off the bed, I was subsequently bashed around by two annoyed little girls trying to make sense about what just happened and I spent a couple of moments trying apologize for the sudden wake up.


With my eyes wide open after what just happened, I quickly recollected my memories of what had happened yesterday, my legs wobbling toward the doorstep of my room as I rushed downstairs with both Illya and Kuro in hot pursuit.


The masked Servant had continued to explain the situation, that something was happening within the living room and that it required my direct presence. There was no further detailing over 'what' exactly was going on, only that I needed to be there.


Which was worrying, annoying, and not the fright I needed to endure so early in the morning.


I spared just a glance to my watch, a curse rushing out of my lips as I tried to make sense of why that red-haired woman was now awake at three in the morning!


I was furious, so much that my face had turned a light-red shade while I marched towards the room where the chaos was originating from.


I paused completely when I finally entered the room and I was graced with quite the absurd scene.


My eyes widened again, this time letting me display the full-fledged confusion I was brewing within my chest as I finally got sight over the insane predicament.


Assassin was standing by the corner of the room, now approaching me with an annoyed look as I slowly took a couple of steps closer to the situation, while Lancer silently kept looking at his Master as she continued to bawl loudly and somewhat pathetically while drowning her face in Iri's chest.


The white-haired woman was giving a patient and kind smile while patting the hair of the crying redhead, ignoring the state of undress her 'ward' was currently into. The Master of Lancer just had her partially unbuttoned shirt and her underwear on, making the entire scene quite odd.


I frowned at the insane sight- and then I felt Assassin grasp tightly at my shoulders.


"Master, please- remove that woman from my wife..."


"You..." I paused, my tongue clicking by my teeth. "You woke me up for this."


The Servant didn't reply, but soon both of his daughters arrived behind me with some of their own confusion.


"Uh? What is going on with- M-Mama?"


"Oh, Illya-chan, Kuro-chan," The woman greeted happily her daughters, then she looked at me and nodded. "Sean-kun."


Just as she finished with her greeting, the redhead tensed up in her hold and turned her head to glance at the 'intruders'.


Her eyes quickly scanned both the twins, skipping directly to me as she settled for a while as she slowly let go of the lovely mother and-


Lunged towards me.


…


Panicking at the sight, I let out a half yelp, her weight making me trip backward and straight to the floor.


I expected this to be an attack, something that urged me to react promptly when she resumed with her bawling right onto my shirt.


"T-Thank you!!"


Her mouth drowned into my chest, the woman tightly grasping at me as if her life depended on it. Which technically was the case considering that this house is mine and I took her in, but still-


"Uh-"


I glanced at Irisviel, she merely smiled. "She needs a hug."


I can see that, I really can- but why me?!


"How does that one feel, Oniichan~?" Kuro inquired smugly. "Don't you love to offer support to poor maiden with considerable issues?"


I frowned at Chloe, the tanned girl smiling giddily back at my follow-up snorting.


But yes, I could feel her press her chest onto mine quite desperately and I could easily perceive the pressure she was exerting.


My face grew redder the more this awkward escalation continued, and while I wanted to break free from that cumbersome circumstance, the woman had a completely opposite thought to this.


Her arms were tightly pressing for the hug, ignoring my minor discomfort over this as she selfishly clinged at my form.


I started to panic a little, knowing that none of my Servants was actually going to help with this situation.


Heck, Illya barely looked interesting with this matter, seemingly staring at the scene with a sheepish expression.


Et tu, Illya-chan.


But just as I thought that the situation couldn't have gone worse than this, I soon noticed a pair of strange features appear atop her head.


I blinked, trying to understand why there were now a pair of cat ears were doing atop of the woman's head, just like there was now a tail coming from below her shirt, moving up upward.


She looked up, her eyes seemingly gaining some slits like a feline, some tears still rolling of her cheeks as her lips parted and-


"Nyah~."


I shivered a little at the adorable sight and… I heard muffled giggles coming from a hovering Mystic Code.


Ruby looked giddy about 'doing something great', while I looked immensely shocked at the cute but horrifying situation.


I felt something wet ran across my chin and I saw Bazett's face closing up on mine, finally snapping me by the shocking development as I glared at the kaleidostick with a fury.


G-GODDAMMIT RUBY!


----------d-d-d-d-----------d-d-d-d------------d-d-d-d------------


AN


Neko Bazett? Oddly enough those two words bring some warm memories… but why?


Still, I might switch off this Omake series for something a little funnier and oneshot-y.


Fun Fact 17: Bazett was planned to appear in Tsukihime 2. Surprisingly enough, I can't see her work well in the Tsukihime-verse.


Fun Fact 18: Sean Graham's birthday is December 31th.