Finally, Taylor had the privacy of the bathroom to eat her lunch. She'd only siphoned a little...
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TotallyNotTurtles1998 | 4 |
Sadly it's not the NSFW section, I could see some interesting things happening with this story.
On the bright side, this is one mistake she's unlikely to repeat.And this is why you should maintain positive luck at all times. While the universe loves to pour crap on you, putting a giant pour crap here sign does not help
Yes. Takes about a day if she's had her way with you.I wonder, does one's "natural luck" slowly replenish over time?
Fair enough. It's just a casual fic I write in my spare time for fun. It's not going to be perfect, but I get what you're saying. I agree that Taylor didn't have as much of a reaction as she should have, but I didn't want to write her freaking out and going Carrie on everyone like she would. Frankly, I'm just tired of Shadow Stalker/Sophia antics, and I'm going to avoid them as much as I reasonably can. This fic isn't meant to be taken too seriously, even though it's not intended to be Crack.This chapter just felt really underwhelming and disappointing. Allow me to detail my reaction as best I can (which is definitely not the clearest right now due to how tired I am).
The beginning was actually decent enough, mostly just pleasantly humorous. I did and still do have mild concerns about you overusing the sex misunderstanding as a cliche running gag without any further development or resolution, but to your credit you didn't dwell on it very long in this chapter and quickly moved on.
I only really had one true concern, in that Taylor and Emma's interactions were way too amicable. Part of that could be excused by Emma just waking up or the new and unfamiliar scenario, but Taylor should still be actively terrified by Emma. Taylor has been nothing but submissive and cowed for over a year, while Emma continues to belittle her at every single opportunity. Now suddenly they're rooming together and we see zero hint of that heavily ingrained dynamic resurfacing even once they are alone together in the privacy of their room.
Then I got to the main focus of the chapter: the Shadow Stalker reveal. Now, given the sheer number of Worm fanfics in existence, I've read variations on the reveal more times than I care to count, so the deliberately unassuming and accidental manner in which you approached it was actually rather refreshing. It definitely felt very sudden and forced, but at least not overly contrived to the point of cringe-worthiness.
But the real problem was... that was all it was. A reveal. A reveal, with no corresponding reaction. At all.
No, really, what the actual fuck? I legitimately did a double-take when I finished reading this part because I was sure I must have somehow missed a few entire paragraphs regarding Taylor's explosively distraught reaction to a piece of news that inevitably shakes a fundamental part of her worldview like a wooden shack in a hurricane. For all that the reaction is overdone by this point, you can't just not have her react at all. I've seen fish with larger emotional reactions. At this point Taylor is supposedly severely depressed and borderline suicidal, and yet here you have her find out that one of the bitches who tormented her for over a year and very nearly murdered her is publicly hailed as one of the heroes she IDOLIZES AND IS ABOUT TO EMULATE and she immediately brushes it off like so much lint.
It was then that I lost a majority of confidence in this fic, because I suddenly lost any investment I had in the protagonist. I cannot connect to or emphasize with Taylor as a character if she clearly isn't even a character. She's apparently just a slapstick power with a Taylor-shaped meat-suit to let you move from gag to gag.
Fair enough. It's just a casual fic I write in my spare time for fun. It's not going to be perfect, but I get what you're saying. I agree that Taylor didn't have as much of a reaction as she should have, but I didn't want to write her freaking out and going Carrie on everyone like she would. Frankly, I'm just tired of Shadow Stalker/Sophia antics, and I'm going to avoid them as much as I reasonably can. This fic isn't meant to be taken too seriously, even though it's not intended to be Crack.