Holy Wiki Warrior, Batman! (DC Wiki Warrior SI)

____

H-huh?

My bed was really cold, and hard.

Wait…where are my blankets?

"Wait a minute…" My eyes were glued together, and I could barely see more than the warm orange lights through my eyelids and the color red.

But, as I shielded my eyes and gave them some time to adjust, I quickly came to a conclusion, as I began to realize where I was. Two brick walls, some dumpsters, and orange street lights in the night sky, the scenery perfectly blending together to make the most cartoonishly generic alleyway I have ever had the displeasure of seeing.

I pinched myself…

Nope, not a dream like usual.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Alright, think Jordan, think... what's the most logical reason for you waking up in a random alleyway?

A prank? Hm… no, none of my brothers would do something this boring, they'd rather do something easier, like… I don't know, a pie to the face?

Standing up with some difficulty, my mind clears.

Then, I realized that I possibly could've been kidnapped, and the implications were... pretty bad, to say the least.

I quickly got up, feeling a panic come to me, when... I heard something clicking, and spinning, before leading to victory music.

What the fuck was going on!?

My eyes darted around the alleyway, looking for the source of the noise, but there was nothing there.

"Great, I'm hearing things no-" Before I could finish my sentence, a translucent lottery wheel faded into existence right before me, spinning at impossible speeds.

The wheel then suddenly stopped on the words [South Korea at the 2002 Winter Olympics.]

And just like that, my body started to... morph.

My clothes had completely ripped apart, the layers of fat slid off of my body, as my bones creaked and stretched alongside the growth of my muscular structure, and after a while, it ended.

And so, I stood there, naked, covered in gross layers of fat and... grease that swiftly fell off of my body, but still leaving a… grimy feeling, at least seven inches taller, with the body of an Adonis... and I seemed able to speak... Korean? What the fuck?

I wasn't even cold, even though it looked to be the dead of night.

Words then appeared in my head.

[South Korea at the 2002 Winter Olympics:
South Korea, as the Republic of Korea, competed at the 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City, United States.
Abilities Gained: Olympic-level Body, Korean Comprehension, Cold Resistance]

Okay, what the fuck? Was this some sort of System... or... what?

I was internally panicking, when someone grabbed me from behind.

"What the fuck!?" I shouted, as I looked at the person who grabbed me.

He was a fairly scraggly man, with a ratty beard, a crooked nose, various missing yellowed teeth, and ragged clothes. Oh God, I was going to get mugged, wasn't I?

"Hey mate, ya can't be in alleyways at night, 'specially naked... not a good idea in Gotham," The man said with a... cockney? Accent.

"I-... Gotham?" I said in confusion, am I drugged? Is he drugged as well!? Are we hallucinating!?

"Yeah mate, you're in Gotham... listen, I can see it in your eyes, you're scared... probably just woke up from a night of drinkin', completely naked too? I'd be scared too... follow me, and I'll give ya some clothes. They ain't nothing fancy, but at the very least you won't freeze out here. Oh, my name's Jacob. What's your name?"

"Oh, uh... I'm Jordan. N-nice to meet you Jacob" I said with a nervous smile, as I followed him behind a store, to a... dumpster?

Asking him about it, he told me that it was where the thrift stores threw out any unusable clothes.

Hesitantly, I took a deep breath, and dived into the dumpster.

And so, I took a few minutes searching it, until I managed to find a decent enough shirt with a few stains on it, some underwear that looked clean enough that they wouldn't give me any diseases, a pair of lightly torn sweatpants, and a thick jacket with a large slash in the right sleeve with... what seemed to be a faded bloodstain on it, and a pair of mismatched socks.

I didn't think I looked too bad, sure... the lack of shoes was annoying, but at least I was clothed.

"I... thanks for showing me this, Jacob," I said, honestly thankful.

"It's fine man, someone did this for me too when I became homeless... and I decided to pay it forward, you know?" Jacob said as he grinned at me.

"Yeah Jacob, honestly though... thanks again... just... give me a minute, gonna sit down and get my head straight," I said, before sitting down, just... thinking of things.

Like, how the fuck I was in Gotham... like, that couldn't be real, right? Jacob's just drugged like I am, or fucking with me... unless he isn't and I've been fucking ROBed or just randomly isekai'd here.

But, if I was in Gotham... I'd have to figure out which specific series I was in, and then weep because I didn't really pay attention to the DC cartoons... or comics... or anything, really.

Fuck, am I in Young Justice? Teen Titans?... Maybe Batman: Brave and The Bold? I remember watching a decent amount of that one a few years ago... or am I in the actual DC comics?

Oh, fuck! Am I in Injustice? Or some other elseworld?

I probably shouldn't even be worrying about this... I mean, Jacob just had to be fucking with me, right?... Right?

I took a breath, and then looked around, to get a sense of my surroundings again, Jacob was just sitting next to me quietly, with a hat laid out in front of him, having already gotten a few coins during my mental panic attack. There was also...



Is that the bat signal!?

I was actually in Gotham... I was in DC.

Fuck.

"Oh God, I think I'm gonna..." I said, before darkness filled my vision... and I passed out.
___________

Yite here, just cross-posting my fic from SV and SB over to QQ. Hope you all enjoy it.

 

Hn… 5 more minutes!

#####

Hey, don't shake me around so much… wait, why is my bed so hard?

####n!

What? What are you saying?

"J###AN!"

I don't understand you... speak up!

"JORDAN!"

I open my eyes, fully awakened.

"Jordan! Wake up man, Jesus... what happened to you?" Jacob asked worriedly.

"I'm up! I'm up!" I shout, seeing Jacob's face right up against mine.

I look around, seeing the alleyway again.

Wait, the alleyway!? In a panic, I see the bat signal still in the sky.

And just like that, my body feels like it's getting weaker as the world around me darkens.

"Oh no, you don't!" Jacob grabs me by the shoulders and begins shaking me, getting me out of my stupor.

The darkness that seemed to be enveloping me had vanished as quickly as it arrived, and I looked around in confusion.

"You doing alright there, man?" Jacob asked with a worried look.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm uh... fine. Where did you say we were again?" I asked, making sure to not lose sight of the bat signal in the sky.

"Gotham. Are you sure you're alright?" Jacob asked, seeming to grow more worried by the minute, "I mean... I can't take you to the hospital because of how much they charge, but I know a couple of back alley docs, if you want a check-up?"

"No, no... I'm fine just a tad disoriented... sorry" I said, as I brushed the dirt and grime off of myself, note to self, don't pass out in the streets of Gotham... it's not very sanitary.

As I thought that, the clicking and spinning of the wheel had rung out.

"Jacob, do... do you hear that?" I asked, as I looked around for the wheel.

"No?" Jacob asked, looking around in confusion.

Then, the victory music sounded out, and the translucent lottery wheel faded into existence right before me, once again spinning at impossible speeds.

It then abruptly came to a halt on the word [Tegu]

What the fuck was a Tegu? Wait, isn't that the Japanese monster… Yokai thing? With the long nose?

The words had once again appeared in my head.

[Tegu:

Tegu is a common name of a number of species of lizards that belong to the families Teiidae and Gymnophthalmidae. Tegus are native to Central and South America. They occupy a variety of habitats and are known for their large size and predatory habits.

Power: Lizard (Tegu) Summoning.

Roll: 20.]

Oh... it was some sort of... lizard.

As I thought of the word lizard, a... well, a fucking lizard had appeared on my shoulder.

"Ah! What the hell?" Jacob shouted, as I stared at the lizard in shock and a small amount of fear.

Lizards always weirded me out, most reptiles do.

I used to think I was fine with them, until my brother got a Bearded Dragon, and a fucking Snake.

Damn you Cuddles... you were NOT made for cuddles!

Anyway...

Back to the lizard on my shoulder.

It was a small, black and white lizard that was just chilling out on my shoulder. Definitely passing the vibe check.

"Hey there, uh... little buddy," I said, as I tentatively rubbed its chin, flinching slightly at the feeling of its scales.

The lizard then started crawling on my hand, causing me to tense up in fear for a moment, before calming down... I just knew that it wasn't going to do anything to me, weirdly enough.

"Okay, Jordan... how did you just... spontaneously create a lizard? You a Meta or somethin'?" Jacob asked, looking at the little lizard on your hand in a mixture of shock, awe, and fear.

Should I lie to him? No, I'm not really good at lying, and it leaves a pretty bad taste in my mouth… I'll just partially tell the truth.

"I'm going to be honest... I have absolutely no idea, and I'm kind of internally panicking. I-I sure as hell couldn't do this before" I said, watching the lizard on my hand lay down and rest.

Jacob looked at me for a moment, and... I think he could tell that I at least thought I was telling the truth, because his shoulders slumped slightly.

"So, what is it that you can do? You're obviously a Meta of some kind, is it just creating lizards? Can you control how big they are? How many can you make?" Jacob asked, visibly getting more and more excited with every minute.

"I- uh... I don't know. I think I can make as many as I want, but I don't think I can control how big they are... I feel like they listen to what I want them to do, but nothing more than that... why are you so interested anyway?" I asked the man, stepping back slightly.

"Ah, crap... sorry about that man. I just really... like, Meta's. Used to look up to the Justice Society, you know? The old Green Lantern was one of my favorite heroes as a kid, so knowing you have powers just made me really... excited. Sorry man" Jacob said apologetically, as he rubbed his head.

"It's... it's all fine, man. I'd be excited to meet someone with superpowers too" I said, as the little lizard on my hand woke up, and scurried into my jacket through its torn sleeve.

And so, the two of us just sat in a sort of... awkward silence for a while, as the little lizard scurried about my body, climbing in my jacket, and even tugging on my beard... it wasn't completely unpleasant, at least it was distracting me from the whole... ending up in another world, thing.

People had walked past the two of us, occasionally dropping spare change into Jacob's hat, but that was really it.

Well, at least until two large men walked up to the two of us.

"Jacob, I see that you've taken in another kid. Good on you" One of the men said with a mocking grin.

"...Walter. What do you want? You already took my protection money" Jacob said, sounding annoyed.

"Yeah, you did. But... this guy didn't. And we just can't allow someone to walk our streets without... giving, to the community" The now named Walter said.

"Lay off the man, Walter! It's his first day. C'mon, have some heart!" Jacob said.

"Hmm... nah, sorry Jacob. But it's just business" Walter said, as he took out a pair of brass knuckles.

...Well, this doesn't look good.

Not good at all.

 

I looked at Walter, with a bit of fear, still not used to my whole... being what seemed to be an Olympic-level athlete, and lizard summoning.

"So, what's it gonna be? Are you gonna give us some cash, or do we have to break your legs?" Walter asked as he put the brass knuckles on.

"Come on Walter. He's got nothing, have some fucking heart man. At least give the guy some time to pay it off!" Jacob shouted, standing up to Walter, pushing and pulling on Walter to stop him from coming closer, practically begging him to not beat me.

"Shut the fuck up Jacob!" Walther shouted while pulling himself away from Jacob, before punching him straight to the cold cement floor.

Alright, fuck these guys.

"I... how much money will it cost?" I asked hesitantly, a plan coming to mind.

"Oh, just $200. Not much at all, is it?" Walter said, glaring at Jacob, with a sneer on his face.

"Alright, uh... here," I said, reaching into my pocket, stalling as I summon as many Tegu lizards as I could at once.

Rather anticlimactically, hundreds of lizards of varying sizes just… popped into existence

For a few seconds, everyone freezes in shock

Finally, the man beside Walter broke the ice, muttering, "What the fuck was that?".

"I've got you now, asshole! Get his ass!!" I shouted, as I watched the swarm of lizards rush the two men.

They tried to stomp the lizards, but I just kept summoning more and more, watching as they flinched and screamed in pain from the scratches and bites, after the lizards crawled on their bodies, they tried to claw at the lizards on holding onto them, no matter how pointless, it obviously didn't work, and they eventually ran away after getting bitten and scratched a bunch. You could definitively say that they wouldn't bother you again... well, unless they got some help.

"A job well do-" I stopped talking when I heard Jacob's rough coughing, remembering the brass knuckle sandwich he tasted, I rushed over to him in worry.

"Jacob, are you alright?" I asked, as I helped the man up to his feet.

"Yeah... yeah, I'm fine man. Fucking hell... that was awesome!" Jacob said, grinning with child-like glee that did not really... fit his appearance, "The lizards just swarmed them! They couldn't do anything, Jesus Christ man that was badass!"

"Uh, yeah... thanks Jacob," I said, sheepishly rubbing the back of my head, like a fucking Anime Protagonist.

Wait, if DC's real, doesn't that mean that most anime is? Huh, neat.

Would've been awesome to go to One Piece... the adventure of a lifetime, really.

After I thought that, the music sounded out, and the translucent lottery wheel once again faded into existence right before me, spinning at speeds that I could barely even fathom.

Once again, it came to a stop on the word... name? [Han Yingying]

Alright... what does this one do?

As I thought that, the words appeared in my head, alongside a flood of... knowledge.

[Han Yingying:

Han Yingying (Chinese: 韩颖颖; pinyin: Hán Yǐngyǐng; born April 20, 1986) is a female Chinese Taekwondo practitioner.

Power: Taekwondo Proficiency.

Roll: 7.]

I suddenly knew how to do Taekwondo.

Okay, seriously power. What the fuck? What even are you!?

I started going through various high kicks, jumping spinning kicks, along with a few fast kicking techniques, as the hundreds of lizards below me began to crawl onto my body, looking for optimal places to rest.

Holy shit, my power turned me into a martial artist. Awesome!

"Where the hell did you learn to do that, Jordan?" Jacob asked me.

"...I'll be honest, I have no fucking idea. But it's cool, right? Would've been useful against those assholes" I said with an excited grin.

"So... I'm gonna be serious here for a moment man. What are you looking to do? Because I don't think you can just... survive on the streets, not like me at least... and I'm definitely not gonna be around to help you out... so, what are you looking to do?" Jacob asked, suddenly getting serious.

"Well... I was thinking of... I don't know, doing some odd jobs before getting the hell out of Gotham, and going home?" I said, wondering if I even had a home to go back to... was there a multiversal equivalent of myself at my home? Did I never even exist? Does my family exist?... oh God, that's another existential crisis.

"Not a bad idea, but it'd need some dough, right?" Jacob asked, to my nod, "Exactly. Now, I know a few people... not the most reputable folks, kinda like Walter but better than that asshole... I could get you a couple of jobs watching over some shipments and stuff for them. I'll personally vouch for you. Not gonna say shit about your powers if you don't want me to, so... what do you say?"

"Hmm... I mean... would I be doing anything illegal?" I asked, wanting to be sure I wouldn't get motherfucking Batman after me.

"Oh no... well, kinda? It's technically a smuggling ring, but for food and shit that people need to survive. No drugs, well... there is some weed, but that's about it. You in?" Jacob asked once again.

"I... I mean, if it's only pot... well, that's not really going to ruin any lives... I, fuck it. I'm in" I said, hoping I hadn't just doomed myself to becoming a Batman villain. Because that would suck, what would I even be called? 'Lizard Lord'? Ha!

"Great! I'll set up a meeting with Gary for tomorrow, it's pretty late... just get some sleep, alright man?" Jacob said.

"...Sure, yeah. Alright, uh... thanks Jacob" I said, honestly thankful to the man for helping me out this much.

Then, I went to sleep on a pile of cardboard... it wasn't very comfortable, but a lot better than the hard ground. The occasional screaming and gunshots didn't really help either.

Tomorrow, it looked like I was going to get started on an actual job...

 

I woke up, on the somewhat... hard, cardboard bed, feeling... kind of uncomfortable.

As my eyes opened, the music rang out, and the wheel turned once again.

The wheel quickly stopped on a name... Roger Ferry.

I'll be honest, I didn't recognize it at all, but it seemed to give me a nifty ability, at least from what it was showing me...

[Roger Ferry.

In the 1960s Roger Ferry was one of the leading French chess players. He took part in the individual French Chess Championship finals many times and won three bronze medals (1961, 1962, 1966).
Roger Ferry played for France in the Chess Olympiads:
In 1962, at first reserve board in the 15th Chess Olympiad in Varna (+3, =6, -2),
In 1968, at first reserve board in the 18th Chess Olympiad in Lugano (+4, =3, -1).
Roger Ferry continued to participate in high-level competitions until the mid-2000s.

Power(s): Can permanently give 12 living beings you touch Chess Proficiency and French Comprehension. This ability is lost after one day, but you keep the skills given.

Roll: 12. (1 Day)]

Well, I think I did the obvious thing, when I… touched my arm with my left hand, a blue glow enveloped my hand, and suddenly, I had fairly comprehensive knowledge on how to play chess, and speak French.

Huh, that was actually pretty neat.

"Hey, Jacob," I said, as I stood up.

"Yeah, Jordan? What's up?" Jacob asked, curiously as he walked over to me.

"Well, I got a new power to... give people the ability to play chess and speak French. Not the best power, and the power itself seems to be... limited to one day, but I think the abilities granted are kept... want in on this?" I asked, as I extended my arm to him.

"Sure! I mean... it might not be that useful, but hey. Anything's better than nothing, right?" Jacob said with a grin, as he grabbed my hand, which started glowing blue.

Jacob stopped for a moment, just looking at me curiously.

"Huh, that's... weird. I've got so much... knowledge in my head, on chess and French. Is this what happens to you? Like, is this what you felt when you got that... uh, lizard power?" Jacob asked.

"...Kind of? I mean, I don't know how to really describe it... but it's pretty cool, right?" I asked.

"Yeah man, it's fuckin' sick. Now, let's get you ready for that job, alright? Here, you're going to need these, just in case you can't control your power, and accidentally out yourself as a Meta" Jacob said, as he handed me a pair of thick gloves, before leading me to what had to be the most generic, shady docks I've seen in my life.

Like, fucking hell... even the Batman comics and cartoons weren't this egregious with how generic it was!

"Alright then, we're here. Now, you're gonna see three fellas in green. Their names are Bob, Jim, and Dave. They already know you're coming because I told their boss, one of my old friends, Gary. I'll come with ya, since it's your first time, alright?" Jacob said supportively.

"Ah, um... alright, thanks again Jacob," I said, as the two of us began to walk to the three men in green.

"Jim! Bob! Dave! How are you three doing!" Jacob said with a grin.

There were, obviously, three men, all wearing green. The first one was a large, muscular man of African descent. The second was a fairly skinny Caucasian male with dreadlocks, and the final one was a fairly average looking guy with brown hair and brown eyes... looking completely average.

"Ah, Jacob. Is this the new guy?" The large black man, who I assumed to be Jim said with a scrutinizing gaze, "He doesn't look that tough"

"Jim, are you sure you don't need glasses? Look at the guy, he's fucking jacked man!" The man with dreadlocks, I assumed to be Bob said with a grin, showing off golden grills where his teeth would usually be.

"You're uh... Jordan, right? I'm Dave. Big and scary over there's Jim, and Dreadlocks is Bob. It's a pleasure to meet you" The average-looking man, Dave said with a soft smile as he shook my hand.

"Uh, yeah... nice to meet you too, so what are we doing today?" I asked.

"Well, you look pretty strong, so... you and Jim here are going to be unloading the crates into this van, Bob's going to drive the van, and I'm mostly here just to supervise... always got to supervise when there's a new guy, you know? Just in case they fuck up" Dave said casually, as he showed off a gun that was holstered on his belt.

Okay, that's definitely a threat... or at least meant to look threatening.

And so, Jim and I got to unloading the large crates into the nondescript van, as Bob, Dave, and Jacob had a small poker game on some boxes to the side.

"So... what brought you to doing this?" I asked Jim, as we unloaded the third large crate of the day.

Jesus fucking christ, if this was the previous me... I wouldn't be able to even think of lifting this.

"Man, I don't got time for small talk, alright?" Jim said, as we put the crate into the back of the van.

"Come on man, there's no need to be so hostile. I just want to get to know you, alright? I mean, if we're going to be working together, isn't it better to at least be friendly to each other?" I said with a grin, as we grabbed another crate.

"Alright, look... sorry if I'm being a bit... hostile. I've had a rough day, and I've taken it out on you... I apologize for that, that wasn't right of me. Alright, let's introduce ourselves to each other then, I'm Jim Jones, it's a pleasure to meet you" Jim said with a friendly smile.

"Jordan Wallace," I said sharing the friendly smile, using my mother's maiden name instead of my actual last name, purely out of a bit of paranoia... this was DC, I was pretty sure there were demons or wizards out there that could fuck me over if I gave them my real name.

After that, the two of us had gotten back to work for the next few hours, putting all of the crates in the van, before Bob had driven off to the destination, that... Jim and I didn't know, due to this being... well, a smuggling operation.

"Good work you two, here's your money," Dave said with a smile, as he handed Jim and I $500 each.

I'd say that was pretty good for a day's work.

Afterward, Jacob and I had returned to our spot, which was... practically infested with lizards, and I took my gloves off.

I sat down, and began to pet one of the lizards.

...My hands glowed blue, and the lizard stared at me with a seemingly intelligent gaze.

"Bonjour," The lizard said in French.

Okay, what the fuck?

 

I stared at the... French-speaking lizard in shock.

"Hey, uh... little buddy. What did you just say?" I asked, hoping that I was just... seeing things, otherwise this would be far too weird for me.

"Bonjour, mon roi!" (Hello, my king) The lizard said, once again in French.

"My... king? Is that what you see me as?" I asked.

"Oui" (Yes) The lizard said.

"Well, alright then... I guess I should name you then little buddy... what about... Gabrielle De Lézard" I said with a grin.

"Ça sonne très bien!" (That sounds lovely!) The newly named Gabrielle said, sounding incredibly happy to be named.

And so, I decided to speak some more with the French-speaking lizard... she apparently didn't know much of the world, but seemed incredibly interested in it.

After a while, Gabrielle decided to fall asleep, perched upon my head, as if it were some great throne.

"So, you've made some money now... wanna do anything with it?" Jacob asked with a grin.

"Maybe go shopping? ...I think we could find somewhere to get some good food, some water... maybe somewhere to actually live? Like, an abandoned warehouse or something?" I suggested.

"Food and water's obvious... the abandoned warehouse though? Not usually a good idea. The gangs usually do their deals in abandoned warehouses... and they don't like it when they find some bum sleeping in their meeting place. If you're lucky, you'll get a beating... if not, well... I'll leave it up to your imagination" Jacob said with a frown.

"...Yeah, that sounds about right. Fucking Gotham" I said, annoyed at how… shit this city was.

"...It's a shithole. But hey, it's home" Jacob said, frowning more, just generally looking… tired.

After that, I felt the need to cheer Jacob up, so we decided to go to a small convenience store, to get some supplies. I had $500, so I felt like it was good enough to at least get some food and water until I next do work.

"So... what's the good stuff?" I asked, as I grabbed a loaf of fairly cheap bread off of the shelves.

"The unlabeled and knock-off stuff is usually pretty good. Nothing fancy, but hey... you can survive off of it, and it's cheap" Jacob said, as he grabbed a bunch of unlabeled cans, and cheap off-brand snacks.

"Alright then," I said, as I began to fill the shopping cart with various cheap foods... we managed to get quite the haul out of it, before returning back to our 'spot' that was once again, covered in lizards. They seemed to be guarding the area. I swear I saw five of them rip a giant rat to shreds when it came within five feet of me, only the bones remained after they were done… there wasn't even a speck of blood. Weird, but not… bad. At least they had a meal.

"So, any plans for the future?" Jacob asked, as he used a rusty can opener to open an unlabeled can, revealing a tin of beans, which he began to eat ravenously.

"Nothing much... mostly focused on survival at the moment," I said, as I made a sandwich using the cheap bread, and some cheap jam... it wasn't half-bad.

I then began to feed small bits of meat to Gabrielle and the other lizards.

"I feel that man, I feel that," Jacob said with a solemn smile, as he took a swig of water.

After that, we sort of just... stopped talking for a bit, I just sat down, surrounded by my lizards, who mostly scurried around me, and Jacob who was busy fiddling with making some sort of... art out of the empty tin can, using the can opener, even adding little bits of the previously mentioned rat's bones to 'really make it pop', at least that's what you heard Jacob mutter to himself.

I started to sort of... zone out for a few moments, before shooting right up in shock at the sound of the celebratory music, and the spinning wheel.

Which landed on... [Siamophryne]... the fuck even is that?

[Siamophryne:

Siamophryne is a genus of frog found in Thailand. It is monotypic, consisting of only one species, the Tenasserim cave frog (Siamophryne troglodytes). Its closest relative is the genus Vietnamophryne.

Power(s): Frog (Siamophryne) Summoning.

Roll: 19 (Permanent).]

Oh, neat... it's a type of frog.

I decided to summon one, and a fairly average-looking frog came out, and started to hop around me.

I'm going to be completely honest, I don't know what else I expected. At least it was pretty cute looking, as it hopped onto my knee, and just sat there patiently.

I then began to drift off to sleep, not really needing to do anything at the moment.

I awoke later on to the sounds of screaming and glass breaking.

What the fuck was going on now!?

 

I had gotten up, my hand brushing up against the frog from last night, causing it to glow.

"Bonjour," The frog said in French, with a heavy French accent.

Really? Again? I don't have the time for this.

I quickly walked over to the source of the screaming, to see a bloodied man in a green pinstriped suit, running away from a... humanoid pencil? Who was walking after him, as if nothing was going on.

"Help me! For God's sake! Help me!" The man shouted fearfully, "I- if anybody helps! I'll pay you!"

The pencil-man continued to calmly walk after the man, and other bystanders just watched from afar.

"Hey man, over here!" I said, beckoning the man over to me, "I can help!"

"Oh thank you!" The man said, as he ran in my direction, quickly passing me.

The pencil-man walked up to me, and glared.



"What business do you have, interfering in The Eraser's business?" The pencil-man, now known to me as The Eraser, said coldly, before jumping up, and it was then that I noticed that his shoes were tipped with pencil-point blades.

I quickly dodged out of the way, and then... the music began, and the wheel turned.

Eventually, it landed on [List of Colt AR-15 and M16 rifle variants.]

Well, that certainly seemed useful.

[List of Colt AR-15 and M16 rifle variants.

This article describes the many variations of the Colt AR-15 and M16 rifle family of weapons produced by Colt's Manufacturing Company. Weapons patterned on the original ArmaLite AR-15 design have been produced by numerous manufacturers and have been used by nations around the world, some of which created their own variations. The tables here are split in a variety of categories, and provide an overview of different subtypes. For purposes of these tables, bold model numbers are weapons used (or previously used) by the U.S. Military while italic model numbers are weapons for commercial or export sale. See Glossary of terms for an explanation of each column.

Power(s): Gun (AR-15/M16) Summoning, Firearm Proficiency.

Roll: 17 (Permanent)]

Okay, so I can summon Colt AR-15's, and M16's... and have the aim of a person with extensive firearms training.

I can work with this.

I quickly summoned a M16 into my hand, and fired upon the pencil-themed supervillain.

"What the!?" The Eraser shouted in shock, as he jumped back a little too late, a bullet having already pierced his shoulder, "This is… unexpected"

I just glared at the man in his ridiculous costume, and aimed the gun at him.

"Now, either you leave... or I pull the trigger. And sir, I won't miss" I said, already aiming the gun, ready to shoot the man in a non-lethal area.

"Hmm... I'd say that's a tempting offer, but the man behind you has a piece of evidence that I simply must erase. If you can get me that, I shall leave you and the man alone" The Eraser said, pointing at the bloodied man in the green pinstriped suit, he seemed to be clutching a penny.

"Wait, the penny? That's the evidence?" I asked for confirmation.

"Yes. It has my client's DNA on it. I'd much prefer not to kill the man, or yourself, but I shall do what I have to do" The Eraser said.

"No! I'm not giving up this penny! It's mine!" The man shouted, as he backed away from me.

"Listen man... just give me the penny, and we can both go free. I'll, uh... I'll give you five pennies in exchange?" I suggested, having an inkling as to the identity of this man.

"...Fine. But I want the pennies first" The man who I suspected to be The Penny Plunderer said with a scowl.

"No, you might just take the pennies and run. We'll exchange them at the same time, alright?" I said, knowing what sort of play he'd make... I grew up with nine siblings, I knew those sorts of tricks, hell. I've done those tricks.

"...Drat, alright," The Penny Plunderer said, as we exchanged coins.

I then turned back to The Eraser and handed him the penny.

"Thank you," The Eraser said, as he placed the penny on the eraser part of his costume, and it... simply disappeared, "Now. I must go back to my client for my payment"

The Eraser then calmly walked away, as if nothing happened. Not even noticing the lizards watching him, ready to take him down if he had taken even a step closer to me.

"So... let's make some introductions. I'm Jordan... Wallace, pleasure to meet you" I said with an awkward smile.

"Ah, Joe Coyne. Also known as The Penny Plunderer, you may have heard of me?" Joe said with a grin.



"...Yeah, you're the guy with the giant penny, right?" I asked.

"Yes! Exactly! Everybody thinks that was Two-Face because of the whole coin gimmick, but it was I! Penny Plunderer!" Joe said, pointing at himself with a smug grin.

"Ah, that's pretty neat," I said with a smile, looking at Jacob who was... still fast asleep.

I have no idea how he managed to sleep through all that, but... he did, weirdly enough.

"So... about that payment," I said, while I still would've helped him without payment... getting more money's always good.

"Ah! Of course! Here, take this. It's practically worthless to me, but it may be of some use to you!" Joe said as he handed me a briefcase, opening it, I found it full of $100 bills.

"I- how much is in there?" I asked, as I stared at the money.

"Around... $10,000? I don't know, I was more focused on my pennies" Joe said as he started rolling the five pennies in his hands, through his fingers, "So... what was with the gun thing?"

"I'm a meta," I said, not expanding upon it whatsoever.

"Right, yeah. Makes sense, anyway... I'm off, but I may have some business opportunities for you, if you're interested" Joe said, before leaving.

Huh, well... that was neat. I might have made an actual contact in the criminal underworld, sure it's just Penny Plunderer... but, it's a start.

 

I had quickly walked back to the 'spot'... we should really come up with a better name for it.

The frog from before hopped over to me, before landing on my hand.

"Salutations, mon roi, j'ai rencontré Gabrielle et j'aimerais un nom à moi" (Greetings, my king I have met with Gabrielle, and would like a name of my own) The frog had said in its thick French accent.

"Alright, what about... hmm... Freddo?" I suggested, causing the newly named Freddo to jump up and down on my hand.

I had named him after a chocolate brand from my home country of Australia. Freddo Frogs were a fucking classic, like Caramel Koalas and Tim-Tams.

"Oui! Freddo, je porterai avec honneur ce nom que seul un Français aurait!" (Yes! Freddo, I shall bear this name with honor that only a Frenchman would have!) Freddo said happily, doing a small bow before hopping away to do God knows what.

And so, I continued back to the 'spot'.

On the way there, I accidentally knocked over a can, causing the previously sleeping Jacob to bolt upright, awakening in an instant.

"Who the fuck is- oh, it's just you man" Jacob shouted, before calming down upon seeing me, "...What's up with the briefcase?"

"...Hold up, how the fuck were you still asleep? I fired a gun literally an alley away! And on that matter, how did a fucking can of all things wake you up?" I asked, honestly confused.

"Ah, when you're in Gotham you get used to gunshots nearby... a can being knocked over in your alley, though? That means a potential threat" Jacob said, "Now once again... what's with the briefcase?"

"Oh, well... I encountered a few of Batman's... uh, villains, I guess?" I said, causing Jacob to cringe, "Penny Plunderer, and The Eraser... Eraser was after Penny Plunderer, and I kind of... saved him? So, for my help he gave me a briefcase of what he said was $10,000"

"$10k!? Fucking hell man... and all you had to do was what, get in a fight with The Eraser? Guy's creepy as hell, even with his... dumb costume, so what're you gonna spend it on?" Jacob asked.

As I made to answer, the music began and the wheel spun once again.

It eventually stopped on [Norton Interpol 2]

What?

[Norton Interpol 2.

The Interpol 2 is a Norton motorcycle produced from 1984 to 1989. It has an air-cooled twin rotor 588 cc (35.9 cu in) Wankel engine.

Its model name refers to the Norton Interpol, a 1970s police version of the Norton Commando. However, the Interpol was a piston-engined model and is mechanically unrelated to the Interpol 2.

Towards the end of the production run one machine was built for development purposes with a new water-cooled version of Norton's twin-rotor Wankel engine. This machine was designated Interpol 2A. When production of the Interpol 2 ceased it was succeeded by the P52 version of the Norton Commander.

Norton did not sell the Interpol 2 to the general public. Sales were restricted to fleet customers: civilian police forces, military police forces (particularly the Royal Air Force Police), and the RAC.

Power(s): A Norton Interpol 2 is instantly summoned in front of the user of the Wiki Warrior.

Roll: 3. (A few minutes)]

And just like that, a fucking motorbike appeared right in front of the two of us.

"Holy, Jesus! Where the fuck did the bike come from?" Jacob asked, completely distracted from the prior conversation.

"Uh, I think that was my power... it says that it'll only last for... a few minutes. Not the best thing to get, especially with the arbitrary time limit... a few minutes could be anywhere from... five, to thirty minutes... I'm not driving that thing, purely because I don't want to die when it disappears under me" I said, staring at the bike, feeling a bit annoyed... it was a fucking motorbike! And I couldn't even ride it, due to the concerns to my safety.

"Huh. I thought you could just do animals, and stuff like that" Jacob said.

"Nah, I can do guns too now," I said, as an AR-15 appeared within my hands.

"...Hold up, let me check that out," Jacob said, as he walked over to me.

"Sure," I said, holding the gun out to him.

"Wait... what the hell?" Jacob said, grabbing the firearm and checking it over, looking for... something.

He then looked at me with a grin.

"Mate, what types of guns can you make and how many? Can you make ammo? Because I think we just hit a fucking goldmine. The gun doesn't have serial numbers man, they can't be fucking tracked!" Jacob said, his grin growing wider as he looked at me.

"Uh, I can make any variation on an AR-15 and M16. .223, 5.56x45, 7.629, 9x19... Armor Piercing, Incendiary, some with trackers in them... I could even give the guns tungsten bullets... I might even be able to make some explosive ammo, rubber bullets would work, same with... for some reason, paintballs... that's kind of neat" I said, summoning the various gun and ammo types.

"Alright, listen. I'm gonna get in contact with Dave, this could make the both of us a lot of money... you could definitely get yourself out there as an excellent gun smuggler, even with just the two weapon types, as long as you have no limit" Jacob said, as he pulled out a fairly... old-looking flip phone, and started talking to someone on the other side.

This was perfect... I just knew that $10k wouldn't be enough to live off of wherever I go, so this was probably my chance to make some more money... I'd have to avoid Batman as much as I could, though. I don't want to get my lights knocked in.

And so, after about an hour of waiting, and watching the motorbike pop out of existence, a nondescript van arrived at my location, and the doors opened, revealing Jim, Bob, and Dave from the other day.

"Alright, Jacob. Where's the gun guy?" Dave asked, looking around, completely overlooking me.

"Uh, hey guys," I said with an awkward smile and wave, the pile of guns behind me, with Gabrielle and Freddo having somehow climbed onto my head while I was distracted.

"...You gotta be shitting me" I heard Jim mutter to himself, as Jacob, Gabrielle, Freddo, and I got into the van.

I had no idea where we were going, but I felt confident in my chances against the three men, if I had to fight my way out.

 

And so, I was in the back of a moving van with three other men, the first being my... friend, Jacob, the second being the large black man, Jim Jones, and the third being the average pencil pusher-looking guy, Dave.

The three of them were chatting with each other, as if they were all old friends, telling various stories to each other, and making inside jokes. I noticed them taking glances at me, but didn't really mind it.

I'll be honest, I wasn't really annoyed at not... chatting with them. Introvert gang for life and all.

"So, uh... where exactly are we going?" I asked, causing everyone to suddenly go silent, and for some reason... Jim looked at me with pity?

That was definitely... suspicious. It was then, that I tried to mentally order all of the Tegu back at the 'spot' to follow the van. I didn't even know if it would work, but I was surprisingly proven right, when I looked through the tinted back window and saw a veritable swarm of Tegu following it.

"...We're going to a warehouse so we can store all the guns, man," Jacob said, grinning at me, quickly trying to calm me down, but it wasn't really... working.

"Ah, alright," I said, making sure not to lower my guard... I'll be honest, I do think they're at least decent people, but... this is Gotham, and I've been wrong when it came to people's intentions before, so it doesn't hurt to be careful.

I quickly whispered to Gabriella and Freddo to make sure to keep a watch on the men, just in case.

As the van drove on, the music sounded out within my mind, and the wheel began to spin once again.

It eventually landed on [Whiskey Cocktail].

Well, at least I could have some drinks, that'll be nice.

The information for Whiskey Cocktail came up, kind of confusing me.

[Whiskey Cocktail.

A whiskey cocktail is a cocktail that includes whiskey. Although whiskey is often served neat or on the rocks, it is used in many classic cocktails such as the Old Fashioned, Manhattan, and Julep. Some specifically call for Scotch whisky or bourbon whiskey.

Power(s): Whiskey Manipulation.

Roll: 18 (Permanent)]

Whiskey Manipulation? I thought I'd be getting the ability to summon whiskey cocktails... at least it's permanent, that's nice.

Around... twenty minutes, I guess? Later, the van stopped and we walked out of it, into a warehouse.

Turning back to the men, I saw that they had grim looks on their faces... even Jacob.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck fuck. What's going on? Why the fuck do they look like they're about to kill me or something?

Just... calm down, Jordan. Maybe they're taking me to meet their boss? And they don't like him?... I mean, there's a chance, no matter how small, that that's the case.

And so, we walked into the building, it had a bunch of giant crates, and that's it... nothing else.

"So... where do you want me to put the guns?" I asked, trying to act as casually as I could.

I watched as three more men entered the warehouse, through a side door. I vaguely recognized one of them as Walter, the guy who tried to beat me a couple of days ago, though he was a lot more scarred.

"...Listen, Jordan, right? I'm sorry about this" Jim said, as he pulled out a taser, and aimed it at me.

I quickly looked to Jacob, who had stepped to the forefront of the group, who were all quickly grabbing weapons of their own, clubs, chains, and a couple of pistols.

"Sorry man, but... you're a lot more useful in a cage. Don't worry though, we'll make sure it's gilded and everything!" Jacob said with an evil grin, pulling out his own gun, the AR-15 that I had made earlier, "Now... I don't want to hurt you. Might interfere with your powers, so... let Jim here tase ya, and you'll be saved a world of hurt. Alright?"

Th- these…

Pfft!

These dumbasses!

...How could they be so stupid!? They really thought I wasn't prepared for something like this?

"Espèce de chien déshonorant! Comment oses-tu tenter de tuer mon roi!" (You dishonorable cur! How dare you attempt to kill my king!) Freddo shouted angrily, in his thick frog French accent.

"Vous salauds absolus! Va te faire foutre, baise tes mères! Et baise ta grand-mère! Oser trahir mon roi bien-aimé comme ça! J'espère que tu brûles en enfer!" (You absolute bastards! Fuck you, fuck your mothers! And fuck your grandmother's! Daring to betray my beloved king like this! I hope you burn in hell!) Gabriella screamed as loudly as she could, before going off on a tirade, that I decided to just... ignore for now.

And so, the Tegu had arrived at the building, slipping through cracks in the walls and shattered windows, as I summoned more in front of me, all of them ready for the slaughter.

Gabriella and Freddo quickly hopped off of me, and joined the swarm in glorious combat! I swear, I even heard Freddo shout out "Viva la Revolution!" at the top of his lungs, with Gabriella quickly joining in..

I quickly ran to the side, dodging a few bullets, as the Tegu swarm attacked them, I saw one of the Tegu bite out Jim's left eyeball, before summoning some frogs to also join in on the battle.

"Jordan! You don't have to do this! Call off the fucking animals, and you won't get hurt! This is my final warning!" Jacob shouted, as I heard him fire upon the swarm.

I just ignored him, as I decided to fucking... hide in one of the crates, until it was all over. I... I wasn't going to let them live, but I didn't want to watch them die... it's already fucking me up as much as it is.

Soon, the gunfire ended, and I heard the men scream and cry, as I covered my ears not wanting to hear people die either, crying.

What the fuck had I done!? I-I... I just killed them.

My breath began to quicken, as I felt myself become strangled by my guilt.

Eventually, the screams began to stop, turning into whimpers, and then... silence.

What the hell had I just done?

I climbed out of the crate, to see… a lot of dead bodies, causing me to retch in disgust, covering my mouth so as to not vomit everywhere… that would either lead back to me, or come inconclusive… and I didn't want to know which.

Gabriella and Freddo had silently returned to their spots on my head, as the rest of the swarm sat there, waiting for my orders.

It was then, that I noticed that one of the bodies was missing, with a trail of blood, and dead lizards and frogs, leading to the side door.

 

I quickly followed the trail of blood, lizard, and frog corpses out of the warehouse for... a few minutes.

Eventually, I came across the end of the trail, in front of a fence, with a bunch of charred lizards and frogs, so... an electric fence. There was a taser on the ground in front of it.

Thinking back, Jim was the only one with a taser... maybe he'd somehow gotten away? But how? There's no blood beyond the fence, or around it... it just seemed to stop. As if he had suddenly disappeared while running away from the lizards and frogs.

Alright, so... there was someone out there that knew about my powers, and I have no idea where they are...

Yeah, fuck this shit. It's definitely time to leave Gotham. I honestly couldn't ask for a better excuse.

I returned to the warehouse, grabbed the briefcase full of money that Jacob had on him, and quickly walked back to the 'spot' with the swarm of lizards and frogs following me as discreetly as they could.

I'd grabbed a bag that was in the 'spot', that Jacob had used for storing away the food we had bought, and... well, stashed as much food and water in it, and left Gotham with my army of lizards and frogs in tow.

I didn't have a car, or even the ability to drive one due to me just... not learning how to, so I had to walk to Metropolis on foot, especially since I didn't trust any of the buses from Gotham.

I swear, that I could see a glimpse of Batman in the corner of my eye, as I left the city with my briefcase in hand, and bag of supplies on my back, and walked on the road to Metropolis. Thank God I left when I did, I absolutely didn't want to be subject to the infamous Bat-glare.

As I was walking along the road, I heard the telltale music of my power, and watched as the wheel spun at shocking speeds.

The wheel had eventually landed on [Salisbury City Police]

Okay, that's kind of... odd. What would I do with that? Create a police station? Summon police weapons?

[Salisbury City Police.

Salisbury City Police was a British police force that existed officially between 1835 and 1943. It was absorbed by Wiltshire Constabulary during the Second World War.

Power(s): An entire 1940's-era police force is summoned around Jordan, for exactly one minute before they disappear.

Roll: 1. (1 Minute)]

Suddenly, in the middle of the empty road, hundreds of... old-timey cops appeared, with antique cars, and weapons.

Yhey looked around confused and one of them walked up to me after a few seconds.

The second he stood in front of me, trying to talk to me, something... unexpected happened.

He, alongside all of the other officers, their vehicles, and everything just... vanished into thin air.

What the fuck just happened? Did Thanos somehow crossover to DC and snap them out of existence!?

Maybe it was just my power being weird? But, it was odd... knowing that I could summon people.

What the fuck is my power?

I continued to walk on, somewhat... disturbed by what I had seen.

I was halfway to Metropolis, when I spotted something... odd.

It was a semi-demolished giant blue robot, with part of its head missing, lying in a ditch, covered in mud and grass.

I carefully went down, deciding to check it out.

"Hey, buddy... you okay?" I asked, seeing if it was 'awake' or shut down... I mostly didn't want it to get up and attack me in some sort of jumpscare.

"I... am... alive," The robot said, with a voice that sounded like static.

"Alright, that's good... can you tell me your name?" I asked, not knowing of this character at all, from DC comics. I mean, a giant blue robot would be more recognizable, right?

"Ul... ti... vac" The robot, Ultivac said slowly, as its arm raised up.

"Alright, Ultivac, nice name... let's get you out of this ditch. Who knows, maybe I could find someone to fix you up?" I said, as I and my swarm of lizards and frogs lifted the giant robot. That thing probably weighed at least a few tons.

A while later, the robot and I were on the road, it didn't look too good...

Half of its head was missing on the left side, with exposed wiring and a bunch of other stuff that I wasn't tech-savvy enough to identify exposed, its left arm was practically in shambles, and it could barely support its own weight. In short? It looked absolutely fucked.

"I... thank you... human" Ultivac said slowly, as it walked up to me, before falling onto its face, "Human… I... require your assistance"

"Ha, alright buddy... how about you lay here, while my pets carry you?" I suggested, "It'd be easier than walking and falling, right?"

"I... shall... stay still, and allow these… 'pets' to… carry me," Ultivac said, as the lizards and frogs all scurried under it, and began to carry its tremendous weight with their tiny bodies. It was kind of like watching ants move an apple, in the sense of scale.

And so, me and my new... friend? Continued on our journey to Metropolis.

A few hours later, we had arrived, people staring at me, as I walked into the city, with Ultivac being carried by a swarm of lizards and frogs.

I honestly didn't understand the looks, I mean... Superman and his various villains were a pretty common sight, so what was weird about a giant robot being carried by a bunch of small animals?

Then, I noticed a group of armed men in green armor running at me with, quite frankly... massive guns in their hands.

"Hey! You! That's Lexcorp technology! Surrender it now, and we'll be lenient! If not, well... you won't like what happens next! And hand over the briefcase, it's probably full of important Lexcorp documents!" One of the men shouted with a sneer, as the others pointed their guns at me.

Oh, fuck off.
____

This is Ultivac:

 

I just looked at the man in confusion, then back at Ultivac.

"...Are you sure about that?" I asked, maybe the guy was genuinely mistaken? "Because I didn't see any Lexcorp logos on it before I grabbed it"

"Of course I am. I wouldn't be doing this if I wasn't 100% sure of it, now hand over the robot and the briefcase" The man said, looking at me, with an absolutely perfect, shit-eating grin, the other men behind him still had their guns trained on me.

"Alright then... I'm handing over the briefcase, just... just don't shoot, okay?" I said, putting on a worried look as I slowly walked over to the man, summoning lizards and frogs around them, behind walls, trash cans, basically anything they could hide behind.

"We're not gonna shoot you, if you don't do any sudden moves. Now, hand it over" The man said, the others slowly lowering their guns.

"Yeah, here you go," I said, as I quickly hit him in the face with the briefcase, knocking him to the ground, and stomping on his head, knocking him out, but... this caused the other men to quickly aim their guns at me.

But, by then... it was already too late, the lizards had begun crawling up their bodies, while the frogs positioned themselves around the men, and the second I struck, they attacked them with the fury of a thousand suns.

"AGH!" "What the!?" "GET OFFA ME!!!" "FUCK!! WHAT THE HELL!!??" Were the general cries of shock and surprise from the Lexcorp soldiers, as they tried to fire upon the lizards and frogs, before a flying man in a blue suit showed up.



"Hey! What are you doing!?" The flying man in blue shouted from above me.

And it was just then that my dumbass brain connected the dots. It was Superman... you know, I should've expected him to show up with this much commotion in his city.

As I made to respond, the music once again began, and the wheel turned...

It gave me... [List of Diplomatic Missions in Oman.]

What the fuck does that even do? How would a list of diplomatic missions in some country I don't even know, remotely be usable?

As I thought that, the information for it appeared in my mind.

[Name: List of Diplomatic Missions in Oman.

Description: A compilation of all the diplomatic missions in Oman.

Effect(s): Gain the sum-total knowledge of all diplomats in Oman.

Roll: 1. (1 Minute)]

Oh. That.

Huh...

"Uh... these guys accosted me, said that my robot friend here was their property... along with my briefcase of money, that I got from totally legitimate means. So, I kind of... defended myself?" I said awkwardly, this was one of my childhood heroes... I had no idea how to fucking talk at the moment.

"...I'm going to have to ask you to... tell the animals to stop attacking them," Superman said, carefully watching the Lexcorp soldiers.

"Oh! Yeah, totally! Uh... hey guys, stop attacking them. Come back to me and Ultivac!" I said, causing the lizards and frogs to retreat back to me, Gabriella and Freddo still on my head from earlier.

"We didn't need your help, Superman!" "Yeah! You fuckin' alien scum!" "Fuck you!" "I'd rather let the lizard's feast on my corpse, than be saved by you!" "Yeah! Fuck you, Superman! Get the guns, boys!" The Lexcorp soldiers shouted... well, at least now I know what sort of people Lex Luthor hired... makes sense, at least.

Superman slightly deflated at that, but floated down to me with a smile, it was then that I noticed the power I had just gained, disappeared… well, it wasn't all that useful to me.

"Alright, let's get you and your friend out of here... before they get the Kryptonite guns," Superman said, as he quickly grabbed me and Ultivac, and flew off out of the city.

He then dropped me and my robot... friend? On a nice patch of grass, in the middle of nowhere.

"Uh... why did you bring me here?" I asked, honestly confused, as I looked around, seeing literally nothing around me.

"Well... half of my reasoning, was to get away from the LexCorp guys... they all share the same views of Luthor... and, the other half is... well, the giant robot with you. I just didn't want to have to fight it in the middle of the city, if it attacked me" Superman said, making some pretty good points.

"Okay, so... uh, what happens now?" I asked, not really knowing what was going on.

"Well, I saw what you could do with those animals... could you do that to all animals?" Superman asked me.

"Uh, no... I kind of... make the frogs and lizards... they listen to my orders" I said, feeling kind of... awkward.

"Oh. Alright, well... I'll just ask this... are you interested in being a hero? I feel like you could do some good things" Superman asked, sounding incredibly earnest.

"...I'll be honest... the idea's intrigued me, but... I really don't like conflict all that much. I'd much rather just... stay out of the way, maybe have a normal, regular life? You know? I've already had enough excitement for a few lives" I said, thinking of the men I had killed just earlier today... I... I definitely didn't deserve to become a hero... and felt it'd just be better, to stay away from it all... have a nice, quiet life in Metropolis, or somewhere similar... that sounded good to me.

"That's perfectly alright!" Superman said with a smile, "I guess you want me to bring you and your... friend? Back to Metropolis?"

"Uh... maybe not, if I have to deal with those guys from before... say, do you know anyone good at... like, mechanics? Or robotics?" I asked, looking at the chunk of Ultivac's head, and entire left arm that were both missing.

"...I might be able to call a guy," Superman said, smiling, before his ears perked and he quickly flew away with a quick, "Sorry, there's trouble! I'll be right back!"

...Hold up, he just left me in the middle of nowhere.

God damn it, how am I supposed to get back to Metropolis from here? I don't even know which way it is!

 

I had waited in the field, just… waiting for Superman to return, sitting next to Ultivac, who was simply sitting across from me. Its left arm and a chunk of its head, still missing.

It felt like I'd been in this field for… ages, just waiting for Superman's return.

"So, Ultivac… what hit you so hard that… this happened?" I asked, wanting to pass the time a bit.

"I was on a team… the Forgotten Villains… we faced the Forgotten Heroes many times… but during our last fight… Animal Man gained the sheer power of an Elephant… ripped my arm off, and caved my head in, causing me to power down, in an attempt to conserve power… it seems that my team had abandoned me, and I lay there, wasting away until… you found me" Ultivac said, in its own stilted, robotic tone.

"Oh shit… sorry man. I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories" I said, honestly feeling pretty bad for my robot friend.

"You intended no harm… and no harm was done to me, Human. I shall have my revenge against my former team… Mister Poseidon, Faceless Hunter, Atom-Master, Kraklow, and Enchantress… soon, they will all rue the day that they dared to abandon Ultivac!" Ultivac announced, its eyes flaring with red hot rage, even though its voice remained as impassive and… well, robotic as ever.

"Well… if you need any help with your revenge, Ultivac. Just ask for my help, and I'll be there… we're friends after all, right?" I said with a smile, as I lightly tapped Ultivac's metallic body.

"...Friends… Ultivac wouldn't mind having friends… what is your name. Human?" Ultivac asked.

"Jordan… Jordan Wallace. It's a pleasure to be friends with you, Ultivac" I said with a slight grin, as I 'shook' its right hand.

"Well now, isn't this fascinating? Ultivac… it took a while of searching the archives. But it seems you've been under the radar, so to speak. For quite a few years… what are you doing… here?" A voice sounded out from behind the two of us, turning around I saw Superman with… just some guy.

"Who are you?" I asked, ready to do… well, something. Maybe summon a gun? Or use the Tegu and the frogs to distract him, and make a quick getaway… though, Superman was next to him, so he's probably trustworthy… but, the last 'trustworthy' person I met was Jacob, and that didn't… turn out well.

And who's to say this isn't some sort of elseworld like… Injustice? For all I know, Superman could be evil here…

As I got ready to do something… more information appeared within my mind.

[Name: José Barroso (footballer)

Description: José Alberto da Mota Barroso (born 26 August 1970) is a Portuguese former footballer who played as a defensive midfielder, and a current manager.
Over 14 seasons, he amassed Primeira Liga totals of 328 matches and 55 goals, mainly in representation of Braga (for eleven years).

Power: Football Proficiency.

Roll: 15.]

What the hell power!? What use is Football going to be here!?

"Oh, I'm Dr. William Magnus. And you must be… I just noticed that Superman didn't tell me your name" The man, William Magnus said with a confused expression.

"He never gave it to me" Superman said with a sheepish grin.

"I'm Jordan… and that's all you need to know for now" I said, "So… uh, why did Superman bring you to… help Ultivac? You are going to help him, right?"

"Oh, of course I am. And as for why he brought me? I created the superhero team the Metal Men… and I'm one of the world's foremost authorities on robotic engineering" Dr. William Magnus said, with a cocky smile.

The… Metal Men… I barely even remembered who they were. As far as I recall from one of the cartoons I watched growing up, Batman: the Brave and the Bold… they were a team of… robot superheroes. And that's all I really remember of them… wait, wasn't there a woman robot on the team? I vaguely remember that… she was pretty hot. Wasn't she in love with her creator?... Isn't that like a… reverse Oedipus Complex? An… Electra Complex, right.

…Where was I going with this?... Fuck, I don't remember.

Oh, crap… and he's talking.

"...and that's how we'll rebuild Ultivac. Now, are you willing to come to Magnus Labs with your friend here? We'll make sure he's in tip-top condition. I assure it" Dr. William Magnus said with a smile.

"I… alright. Let's go" I said, wanting to be there for my… new friend, during what would essentially be a surgery.

"Great! Oh, Superman. You won't be needed here… you can return to… whatever it was that you were doing" Dr. Magnus said, as Superman waved before flying off… and the grass underneath us suddenly opened up, revealing a staircase that… seemed to never end, "Well come then Jordan. Summon those lizards of yours, and let's go!"

Gabriella and Freddo nearly jumped off of my head in pure shock, as I began to walk down the stairs, having summoned a bunch of Tegu to carry Ultivac... who couldn't really move, still.

But I couldn't help but wonder... how long was I standing over a Mad Scientist's Laboratory?
___________

And with that… I've finished cross posting the fic over to QQ. Hope you all enjoy it here...

Oh, and here's a fun fact that I learned during my wiki diving... I found an honestly really interesting device… that's incredibly similar to the Omnitrix, that was made back in the 60's, it can turn the User into various different Heroes and it is called, the… H-Dial. I've been thinking of using AN's to bring up some obscure things in DC canon. That may or may not be brought up later on in the story.

Tell me if you want me to bring up more interesting things like this in the future, and I'll be sure to do so!

 

Olympic Level Physique.

Korean Comprehension.

French Comprehension.

Minor Cold Resistance.

Lizard (Tegu) Summoning.

Taekwondo Proficiency (No longer usable).

Ability Granting: Chess Proficiency, French Comprehension. (No longer usable).

Chess Proficiency.

Frog (Siamophryne) Summoning.

Gun (AR-15/M16) Summoning.

Firearm Proficiency.

Summon Norton Interpol 2 (No longer usable).

Whiskey Manipulation.

Summon Police (No longer usable).

Football Proficiency (No longer usable).

Acting Proficiency.

Singing Proficiency.

Magnetic Body. (Can Attract Magnetic Objects towards, and away from you)

 

I looked down the staircase, barely even able to make out the laboratory at the end, with a sense of… trepidation.

“Oh, don’t worry about the stairs. We have an elevator” Dr. Magnus said, causing me to sigh in relief… I may have an Olympic level body, but I wasn’t confident in going down all those stairs…, “Though… Ultivac won’t be able to fit the elevator. So, could your lizards take him down?”

“Oh sure, that’s fine” I said, as the both of us went down the elevator, into the Mad Scientist’s Laboratory, with the Tegu dragging Ultivac down the stairs… I could hear it… him? Complaining with every step that they went down.

Within the lab… I saw quite a few interesting things.

There was some sort of… laser gun, that was halfway through being either assembled or disassembled, a green robot with a shell-like head, that reminded me of a Protectron from Fallout… it seemed to be under repairs, and what looked like… bigfoot? But it looked like it was in… suspended animation? What the fuck?

“So, I welcome the two of you to… Magnus Labs! Metal Men! Greet our guests!” Dr. Magnus said with a grin, when… a bunch of robots came out of another room.

I recognized them, at least by name and appearance.

There was the leader, Gold… who if I remembered correctly, had better elasticity powers than everyone else? I may be remembering that incorrectly, though.

Then there was the strongest of them, Iron… who was essentially the “Brute” of the Metal Men.

After that, was Lead… who, if I remember correctly was the… idiot of the group. Mostly working with Iron to get stuff done.

Then there was Mercury… who I only remembered as being really fucking angry. And not much more…

After that, was Platinum the… well, the token woman of the group. She had essentially the same powers as everyone else, while also being… for some reason, infatuated with Dr. Magnus…

Then there was Tin… I fucking loved Tin… he’s the kind and caring member of the group, who has an incredibly low self esteem… which I can totally relate to. But that doesn’t mean he’s not heroic… in fact, if I remember correctly, he was always brave, and happy to put his life on the line.

…Then there were two other Metal Men that I didn't recognize, the first was a brownish one… made of copper? And the second one looked kind of like Tin.

“Ah, hello there. You must be our guest. I’m Gold, of the Metal Men. It’s nice to meet you” Gold said, as he walked up and shook my hand with a smile.

“Jordan… nice to meet you too” I said, returning the robot's smile, though it was somewhat… strained, as I could feel my power working again… and see the spinning wheel…

[Name: Lee Young-yoo.

Description: Lee Young-yoo (born July 10, 1998) is a South Korean actress and singer. She was born in Osaka, Japan to Korean parents. Lee began her acting career as a child actress in 2003, and among her notable television dramas are Bad Housewife (2005), Bad Family (2006) and The Queen's Classroom (2013). She was also one of the vocalists of the K-pop all-girl children's group 7 Princess from 2004 to 2005; she left the band and released a single as a solo artist in 2008. She graduated from Sewon High School in 2017.

Power: Acting and Singing Proficiency.

Roll: 19.

Huh… now I can act and sing pretty damn well… well, that’s actually pretty cool. I could probably have a career as a singer… or maybe an actor? That’d be pretty neat, actually. Even if it’s just as a TV actor… it’d still be cool to be on the “Silver Screen”...

After that, I had exchanged some pleasantries with the other Metal Men, learning that the ones I didn't know were called… Copper, which makes sense, with her brownish color scheme… she also seemed to have a huge crush on Gold, and… Nameless, who introduced herself as Tin’s fiancée. Which was nice to hear. Though, the fact that her name was Nameless both concerned and confused me.

During that time, Ultivac had finally arrived, having been dragged down the stairs by the Tegu.

“So, now that it’s here. Let’s get to work on Ultivac!” Dr. Magnus said with a… strangely manic expression as he grinned.

And after hours of what was a bunch of… just absolutely insane, mad science that I can barely even hope to comprehend. All I could tell was that there were a lot of sparks, and laughter to be had… along with mutterings about ‘outdated tech’ and ‘how he would have been able to make Ultivac ten times more efficient, even if he was in a cave with a box of scraps’... and a bunch of stuff like that.

But… by the end of it. Ultivac had come out with a new shiny chrome left arm, and a glaringly obvious chrome plate in its head. Along with a bunch of minor touch-ups, to make sure it can actually… well, move around.

Ultivac looked like a giddy child… if that ‘child’ was a giant robot, as it walked around, moving as if it hadn’t been able to do so for its entire life.

"I, Ultivac have been reforged! I shall have my revenge against the Forgotten Villains for abandoning me!" Ultivac shouted, as he continued to test out his newly fixed body.

It was kind of… cute, to be honest.

You know… if I didn't think about the fact that Ultivac was a giant murder robot… actually, now that I think about it. He has a few similarities to The Iron Giant… at least, in the fact that he’s a giant robot… that’s gaining some semblance of humanity.

And hey, even Superman’s here… well, not here. But, he’s inhabiting the world… which is pretty fun.

Where was I going with this again?... Ah, whatever.

Ultivac then looked at me, tilting his head upon seeing me.

“It is strange… to see you, with new eyes. Before, your appearance was blurred. But now, with the repairs Doctor Magnus has done to me… I can see you with new eyes. More powerful eyes… and I would like to say one thing” Ultivac said, as he knelt down, getting close to my height, before extending his new chrome left hand to me, “Thank you. For saving me…”

“...You’re welcome, Ultivac” I said with a smile, as I shook his giant, robotic hand.

It was then, that Magnus Labs exploded in a massive ball of fire…

“Metal Men! I have discovered your new base, and come to destroy you all! Once and for all!” A man’s voice shouted from the now massive hole within the underground base, exposing the night sky… huh, I didn't even know that it was night.

Oh, shit… is that a giant bug… robot? What the hell!?
_________________

Well, that’s the chapter. I wonder who the mysterious villain attacking the Metal Men is… and whether or not Jordan and Ultivac will help them in their battle.

On an unrelated note, have you heard of Superman’s Biggest Fan, and no… it’s not Jimmy Olsen. It’s good ol’ Bibbo Bibbowski! A dockworker, and former pro-boxer. I just think he’s pretty fun, especially when he tried to be, and I quote… “Superdood” when Superman ‘died’. Just… amazing.



Oh yeah, the characters/devices/whatever else I bring up in the AN’s, probably won’t appear in the fic… I just like to bring them up, because I love showcasing obscure DC characters and things. So, don’t worry… the H-Dial probably won’t be a thing within the fic, unless I find a fun way to slot it into it. Though, I may have characters related to it, and other obscure characters show up.

 

Oh, there wasn't just one giant bug...

There were ten giant bugs…

All of them were giant fuck-off murder wasps. The size of a damn dog…at least they weren't spiders. Small mercies there, at least.

I know I'm Australian, but… fuck spiders, man.



And all of a sudden, the Metal Men were fighting the giant wasps, Gold was already stretching himself, wrapping around one of the wasps, before constricting his body, inevitably crushing it with his own body.

…Which, sent a bunch of… gears flying around the place. Okay, so they were Giant Fuck-off Robot Murder Wasps. Good to know…

Iron and Lead managed to wrangle most of the other Giant Fuck-off Robot Murder Wasps, while Platinum, Copper, and Nameless dealt with the rest.

Mercury and Tin, on the other hand were busy rushing towards the mad man who sent out all of the Giant Fuck-off Robot Murder Wasps.

"Damn you Metal Men! My Robo-Bugs shall not be defeated by the likes of you! For I am the Bug Baron! AND I SHALL DESTROY YOU ALL!!!" The man, Bug Baron shouted, a manic expression on his face as he pressed a button, sending in swarms of more and more giant Robot Murder Wasps, from the sky.



"Benedict! Please… stop this madness. I don't have any quarrel with you. Please! We were a part of the Science Squad together… I considered you a friend! Don't do this!" Doctor Magnus shouted, causing lucidity to return to Bug Baron's eyes for a moment, a shocked look appearing upon his face, before the madness returned.

"NEVER! ROBO-BUGS! DESTROY THEM ALL!!!" Bug Baron shouted, his voice going hoarse at the end of his sentence, as the Robot Murder Wasps began to team up on the Metal Men, seemingly endless in their amount.

The Metal Men were giving as good as they got though, and for every hit that was dealt upon them, they managed to take out five Wasps.

But… it was a battle of attrition, and the Wasps weren't losing any steam, whatsoever.

In fact, it actually looked like they were gaining more traction, as they began to spit a honey-like substance at the Metal Men, sticking them to the ground.

"What the!?" Lead exclaimed in shock, as his legs were stuck to the ground.

"Haha! Fools! My Robo-Bugs' have a specially made adhesive, created for the sole purpose of incapacitating you meddlesome Metal Men!" Baron Bug screamed, before cackling madly.
"...Alright, Ultivac. I think they need some help" I said, as I began to summon lizards and frogs, to hopefully out-swarm the swarm of robotic bugs.

"Indeed they do" Ultivac said, before his new chrome left arm fucking transformed into some sort of cannon, and he aimed it at the largest gathering of robot bugs, creating a ball of blue energy just outside of the barrel.

Before letting it shoot off, directly in the middle of the swarm, and destroying most of the robotic bugs.

But, there were still a crapload of swarms left, and they seemed to register Ultivac as a threat, as they began to fly towards him.

The lizards and frogs began to form a facsimile of a wall, made out of reptilian and amphibious flesh.

…It didn't hold up to the Robo-Bugs' might, and instead… began to crumble from the pressure.

But, suddenly… out of the corner of my eye, I noticed some of the wasps, stab into the weird bigfoot guy I saw when I came in… injecting it with something.

Its eyes opened, and it looked around confusedly for a moment, before letting off a horrendous, guttural roar that promised pain.



"You've awakened the Shaggy Man! Benedict, please! See sense in your actions!" Doctor Magnus pleaded, to no avail as the Bug Baron simply ignored him, in favor of watching the… Shaggy Man, a grin on his face.

The Shaggy Man began to rampage throughout the laboratory, destroying everything in its wake in pure rage.

And then, at that very moment… I gained more knowledge…

[Name: Permanent Magnet Synchronous Generator.

Description: A permanent magnet synchronous generator is a generator where the excitation field is provided by a permanent magnet instead of a coil. The term synchronous refers here to the fact that the rotor and magnetic field rotate with the same speed, because the magnetic field is generated through a shaft mounted permanent magnet mechanism and current is induced into the stationary armature.

Effect: Magnetic Body. (Can Attract Magnetic Objects towards, and away from you)

Roll: 20.]

Well shit, wasn't this convenient? The power to attract, and repulse magnetic objects?... That sounded pretty good right now.

I quickly used my newfound power, by sending the Robo-Bugs crashing into each other, it wasn't… efficient, whatsoever. No grace at all, as I just used pure brute power… of the power, on them.

But it worked, as the robotic wasps quickly became a tangled ball of stingers, metal, and wires.

Which I had quickly sent into the Shaggy Man, hoping to delay its attack… but instead, it hit the Shaggy Man in the head, knocking it out with a quick, swift motion.

…A giant, writhing ball of robot bees would probably do that to someone…

"Holy shit, is he dead?" I asked, honestly concerned that I might have just killed an innocent, if confused man.

Who knows, maybe Shaggy Man was a superhero that Doctor Magnus was helping? And if I killed him… fuck, I don't know what I'd do.

"He's fine. Shaggy Man's vital signs haven't flatlined… trust me, I'd know if he was dead. He's just unconscious" Doctor Magnus said, before turning to a now, incredibly livid Bug Baron.

"YOU DAMN BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY ROBO-BUGS!?" He shouted at me, his sheer rage and vitriol causing him to send spittle flying my way… ew, gross.

"Dr. Benedict Beetle, also known as the Bug Baron. You're under arrest" Gold said, as he quickly restrained the mad scientist with a pair of elastic arms, before reading the Miranda Rights to him.

Huh… didn't even know that the Metal Men had the ability to legally arrest someone. Neat.

"So, Jordan… what was that? You hadn't mentioned having any sort of magnokinesis before" Doctor Magnus said with an interested look.

"I… I don't know" I said, lying as easily as I breathed, "It just… uh, happened. I have no idea how I have this power"

"Hmm… this calls for experimentation… tell me, how long ago did you gain your abilities?" Dr. Magnus asked, as he picked up and fiddled with some sort of… device.

"A… a few days ago. I was on the streets of Gotham, when I found that I could… create lizards, and later… frogs" I said, using some half-truths… who knows if he was using some sort of lie detecting device on me.

"Interesting… interesting. So, you truly don't know where this new magnokinetic power appeared from?" Dr. Magnus asked, as he continued to fiddle with the device.

"No, I don't" I said, sweating ever so slightly. Hoping that he didn't catch me out in a lie.

"...Alright then" Dr. Magnus said, with slightly narrowed eyes, before smiling "Anyway… thank you for helping with the attack. We have everything handled now… you're free to leave, if you wish"

"Oh, thank you" I said with a slightly nervous smile, the only thought on my mind being, 'he knows, he knows, he knows'. I was in a complete and total internal panic.

"But, just know. That you and your robotic companion are always welcome here… especially after helping the Metal Men" Dr. Magnus said with a grin, as he clapped me on the back.

"Thanks... so, what's the device you're fiddling with there?" I asked, desperately wanting to know.

"Oh, this? It's a part of Ultivac, that allowed him to be controlled through a simple remote... I didn't think it was a good idea to keep that inside of him, when two members of The Forgotten Villains were shown to be able to create and use it... so, I took it out" Doctor Magnus said with a smile, as he gave me a closer look at the device.

It looked like a blue... controller chip, just... a lot bigger than you'd expect, and looking like something you'd only see in a comic book.

"Oh, that's actually really useful. Thank you" I said with a smile, before another question came to me, "So... what did you use to fix Ultivac? I'm pretty sure he wasn't able to turn his arm into a cannon before"

"Ah, that's simply a form of living metal that I'd been working on for a while... but couldn't really find a use for. It's more brittle than most metals, but makes up for it in being far more malleable. I implanted a control device into Ultivac's mainframe, allowing him to control the living metal within him, as easily as he could move the rest of himself" Doctor Magnus told me.

After that, I gave him a more... natural smile, before Ultivac and I made our way out of the lab… Ultivac was able to actually walk up the stairs under his own weight this time.

I also noticed the Metal Men detaining the unconscious Shaggy Man, as the two of us left the laboratory.

And with that, we were just… in a random field in bumfuck nowhere… I didn't even know what State we were in.

I wonder where I'll go now… maybe Central City? I always loved The Flash… the most I know is from the CW show, though. The same could be said for Green Arrow…

Fuck it, yeah… heading off to Central City seems like it could be pretty damn fun. And The Flash's Rogues aren't anywhere near as bad as Batman's or Superman's..

"Ultivac. Let's head off to Central City… I wanna meet The Flash" I said with a grin, as I climbed up Ultivac's shoulder, and we slowly made our way to Central City.

…It was actually pretty weird being on the robot's shoulder. I felt like some sort of… shoulder loli… or that kid from The Iron Giant.

It was still really damn cool, though.
__________

Alright, so first things first. That power was not rigged. This is pure fucking coincidence that in the chapter, where the MC is fighting robots, alongside robots… he gains a magnet-based ability.

And a pretty damn big coincidence at that.

Also, Bug Baron doesn't have any canon name… So I just decided to call him Benedict Beetle, because that sounds enough like a 60's villain name.

And finally, we're heading off to Central City, baby… but the next chapter won't just be cutting straight to Jordan & Ultavic getting to the city. Nope… it's time for a motherfucking Road Trip!

Anyway, onto the new showcase!

A member of the Forgotten Heroes, and the wife of who was once Aqualad, now Tempest… Dolphin! She was the sole survivor of an alien experiment, and was sadly killed during Infinite Crisis where she and the son she had with Tempest, Cerdian were crushed under the rubble of Atlantis, having been seeking shelter from the city.

 

Ultivac and I had been going on what was essentially a road trip… for the past couple of days. We stopped by a few towns on the way to Central City, mostly to make sure we were… well, actually going in the right direction.

Eventually, I just got a phone, paying $60 for it… it was just a crappy flip phone, but it’d work well enough for what I needed it for.

I got the… well, DC version of Google Maps on the phone, to make sure we were heading off in the direction. Wayne Maps was what it was called… I decided to go with the Wayne version, because I sure as hell wasn’t going to use LexMaps, even if it had great reviews.

And so, we continued on our journey, eventually winding up in a small town called Fiddleton. The people there were honestly pretty nice, and there was just a good, hospitable atmosphere there.

The music that was constantly playing around the town was pretty nice too. Though, a little weird.

It came from various speakers throughout the town, and the people living there… apparently seemed to love it, as every time it came on, they stopped whatever they were doing, to simply… dance.

I almost went to dance too, as it just felt… right, when Ultivac stopped me, by sending a small sliver of his living metal left arm into my ears, creating ear plugs that began blocking the sound of the music… and yet, I was able to hear all other sound. That’s kind of cool.

Then… clarity hit me. What the hell was going on? Why was everyone dancing?... Why was I about to start dancing!?

Yeah, this was suspicious as fuck… this was probably some magic hypnosis bullshit.

So, Ultivac and I decided to go to the source of the music, a small house at the edge of town.

It was then that I noticed that… Ultivac simply couldn’t fit into the house, as the doorframe simply wasn’t large enough to fit his frame.

“...Do you want to stay out here, buddy? I don’t think you can fit in the door… but please, do come charging in, if I scream for help” I said with a grin, as Ultivac nodded, waiting outside, just in case anything bad happened.

I then entered the house, to see that it was… dark, and filled with cobwebs. But the sound of a violin being played could still be heard, even through the earplugs, so I followed it.

…And within the furthest reaches of the house, I found an older gentleman in a green suit, playing the violin with a devilish smirk on his face.


He noticed me almost instantly, as his smirk grew.

“Ah, hello there… you seem to be entirely unaffected by my spell. Oh wait… huh. You had the forethought to bring earplugs? That was smart of you, young man. Now, I wonder, just what brought you here, to me?” The man asked,as he continued to play his violin.

“I… I don’t know how you managed to do this… but you tried to fuck with my mind. And I don’t like that shit. Not at all” I said, as I did my… usual opening move, and summoned a swarm of lizards, hoping to overwhelm him.

The man’s evil smirk simply grew, as he began to play his violin… and the lizards stopped in their tracks, before turning to me.

Ah crap, right. Fuck… mind controller.

The lizards began to rush towards me, before I simply… unsummoned them, causing them to vanish in a plume of smoke.

“That was a mistake” I said, as I summoned an AR-15, and fired it directly at him.

His eyes widened in shock, before he quickly played his violin, causing a shockwave to ring out, deflecting the bullets away from him.

“You really thought that I, The Fiddler would have no defense against paltry firearms?” The man, now known as The Fiddler asked with an incredulous look upon his face, “I mean, really. I’ve fought The Flash on numerous occasions. If a gun could’ve taken me out, I would’ve been long gone. Well, here’s the price you shall pay for underestimating someone of my calibur!”

He then began to rapidly play his violin, as if he was charging some sort of attack… it was then, that I noticed that his violin was glowing.

That was not a good sign.

“Hey, you know that your name sounds like, really bad, right? I know where my mind goes when I hear the word Fiddler. And it’s not related to a fucking violin” I taunted, hoping to distract the obvious supervillain.

“Oh my God! No! No! That’s not what my name is supposed to mean, whatsoever!” The Fiddler shouted, momentarily distracted with a disgusted look upon his face, before it contorted in rage, “How dare you even fucking imply that I’d do that sort of thing!”

With him momentarily distracted, I began to repulse the previously discarded bullets towards The Fiddler.

Since he was distracted, and still charging up his attack… he didn't notice it, when two of the bullets pierced his hand, and grazed his leg. The others missed him.

“Gah! What the hell!?” The Fiddler shouted, as he dropped his violin in pain, revealing that his right hand was pierced by one of the bullets, it… didn't look very good, as the bullet shot clean through his hand.

I then summoned a M16, and aimed it at him, causing him to gain a look of fear.

“Wait, don’t shoot me! I- I’ll go! I promise!” The Fiddler shouted, a terrified look on his face, as he fell on his ass, and began to back away from me in fear.

“I can’t trust that, man… I’m sorry” I said, as I aimed the gun directly at him. This man was hypnotizing people for God knows how long… he could have done some honestly fucked up shit to them, and I have no way of knowing whether he did or didn't…

But if he didn't… then I’d just be murdering a man in cold blood.

As I was about to decide on what to do… I gained some more knowledge.

[Name: Mr. Freeze in other media.

Description: Mr. Freeze was originally a comic book character and Batman's adversary, but has been substantially adapted from the comics into various forms of media, including feature films, television series, and video games. The character has been portrayed in live-action by George Sanders, Otto Preminger, and Eli Wallach in the Batman television series; by Arnold Schwarzenegger in the 1997 film Batman & Robin; and by Nathan Darrow on the Fox crime series Gotham. He has also been voiced by Michael Ansara in the DC Animated Universe and by Maurice LaMarche in the Batman: Arkham video game franchise.

Effect: Summons Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Mr. Freeze for 1 Hour.

Roll: 6.]

All of a sudden, right before I finally decided what to do… Arnold Schwarzenegger in the Mr. Freeze costume from Batman & Robin appeared in front of the two of us.


“Where am I!?” Arnold Schwarzenegger shouted, as he aimed his freeze ray at myself and The Fiddler.

“...And who the bloody hell are you!? You know what? I don’t want to know. Thanks for the distraction!” The Fiddler shouted, incredulously, as he scurried away, running out of the house as quickly as he possibly could, but not before grabbing his violin.

…He didn't get far, as Ultivac simply grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, and made sure he wasn’t getting out of his grip.

“Tell me just where I am!” Arnold Schwarzenegger shouted, aiming the freeze ray at me, “Tell me or I’ll turn you into an ice sculpture!”

“You’re in… Fiddleton, man” I said, beginning to suspect that… this wasn’t just Arnold Schwarzenegger.

This was definitely the Mr. Freeze character that he had played in Batman and Robin.

“Fiddleton? How far is that from Gotham!?” Mr. Freeze demanded.

“Uh, it’s a few days away… in that direction” I said, pointing in the direction of Gotham.

“A few days?... Alright then. Batman! You shall feel the icy wrath of Mr. Freeze once again!” Mr. Freeze shouted with a grin, as he fired his freeze ray at the roof of the house, causing ice to go everywhere, before turning to me, “Now… what to do with you…”

“Uh, you could… chill out?” I said with a slight grin, causing him to look at me in pure… disappointment.

“Don’t make those sort of puns with me” Mr. Freeze said, with a cold tone, as he aimed his freeze ray at me, ready to turn me into ice.

…I didn't want to turn into ice, so I repulsed his suit as far away as I possibly could, with as much strength as I could muster.

It sent him through the wall of the house, and out of my line of sight.

Right, well. That was pretty neat…

Now, to get the fuck out of here before he comes back.

I quickly ran out of the house, to see Ultivac still holding The Fiddler by the scruff of his neck.

“Just let go of me you imbecilic robot! Your master’s already dead!” The Fiddler shouted, as he tried to get out of Ultivac’s grip.

“No… I’m not” I said with a grin, as I walked up to Ultivac, and The Fiddler who was still in Ultivac’s grasp.

I then grabbed his violin, and snapped it in half, before tying The Fiddler up with a nearby rope, before leaving him for the local police force to find.

And with that, we had set off for Central City once again.
_________________

Alright, that’s the chapter.

I can’t fucking believe that I rolled that…

Now, for the DC Obscure Character Showcase!

Baron Katana! A Japanese villain, who has made these giant robot samurai, called Samuroid’s. They’re so fucking cool. And I just love them.