Our progress, guided by Ishtar, is far swifter, seeing as our goodly and generous guide is capable of disintegrating the lion-creatures (helpfully identified as Urdimmu) in a single shot. Thus, in less than an hour, we can see a line across the horizon.
"What
is that?" I marvel, trying to parse out just what it could be.
"The Absolute Demonic Front," Ishtar answers, flying in close. I didn't realize she was within earshot of me. I'll have to be more aware of her position in the future.
She doesn't clarify, and I'm honestly too terrified of her to ask questions. But, as we get closer, and the line comes further into focus, I realize what it is.
It's a wall. A wall one hundred feet high and manned by humans. A wall under siege.
The beasts, some familiar, others new, are swarming the wall. Some are content to wait, but, every once in a while, one of them tries to scale the wall, and the others follow their brother's example, the bestial horde creeping up the stone like a wave battering away at the beach. And like the waves of the ocean, they are forced back down, under the roar of the walls artillery emplacements, and the battle cries of its men.
Ishtar stops us while we're still a couple miles out. "Right. This is close enough. You all stay here, okay?"
"Yes, milady," I answer dutifully, as the goddess forms a portal and steps through.
'
Seriously, Flynn, do you really
have to keep brown-nosing with her?' Galahad sends over the mental link. '
I mean, I guess she's a good fighter, but that hardly seems like a worthwhile reason for tossing aside your dignity!'
"AN GAL TIGAL SE!" a familiar voice roars in the distance, and suddenly, all the world is a spectacle of sound and fury.
The monsters die, of course, and I can feel the shockwave from here. The roar of the falling planet drowns out all sound, and as I lie dazed on my back, twenty feet behind where I was initially standing, I can feel blood trickle down from my ears.
Medea's on me in an instant, repairing my blasted eardrums, and as I get to my feet, I give Galahad a Look.
'
Consider my objections withdrawn,' he says in a subdued tone, staring at the half-a-mile-deep impact crater. She positioned her blast carefully, just far enough away to leave the Front unscathed, and close enough to wipe out the monsters. I have to admire that level of precision, to be honest.
And then, soaring through the skies, Babylon's goddess of sex and violence is among us once more. "Come on, I cleared us a path!"
She's cheerful, exuberant, even. Completely casual about the sheer destructive prowess she just displayed.
I have the
weirdest boner right now.
"Indeed, milady, your kindness knows no bounds." And with praise having been offered unto her, we depart.
---
We have more trouble traversing the crater then we do with the Demonic Beasts. Soon, we're at the gates of the Front, facing an entirely different problem.
"What part of 'let me in,' is so hard for you to understand, human?" the goddess asks irritably, glaring at the hapless garrison commander. "I am your goddess, am I not?"
The poor man is sweating up a storm. "What I mean is- we're fighting the Three Goddess Alliance, and- um… Aren't you our… enemy?"
Ishtar, for her part, looks distinctly unimpressed. "Little Denib, and yes, I do in fact know your name, you think I am your enemy."
"Y-Yes."
"I do believe that I have never heard anything so thoroughly insulting in my life!" Ishtar notes cheerfully, while I take several surreptitious steps away from her, striving to be
outside the upcoming splash zone. "And I've talked to
Gilgamesh, so I know insulting when I hear it."
"M-my goddess, I intended no offence-" the hapless commander babbles, damn near shitting his pants while his subordinates decide that I had the right idea and start backing away.
"Really,
you, or that ungrateful worm Gilgamesh my enemy? Such inflated opinions of yourselves," she notes with relish. "If I
truly considered Uruk my enemy, I would have shattered this puny little wall of yours and left you to the mercy of the beasts. If I considered either you or Gilgamesh my enemies, I would simply
swat you like the bugs you are." She picks up the gate with one hand, stepping under it to look the now-sobbing Denib in the eyes as he falls to his knees, shivering helplessly. "So, no, little Denib. Neither you nor Uruk are my enemies. Not even
Gilgamesh is truly my enemy. Because, if you were,
you would already be dead. And you know what I find insulting about all of this?" Denib doesn't respond. "Answer, Denib."
"N-No, my goddess. I do not know."
"What I find most insulting about this is that you
thought yourselves my equal. After all, what could I call an enemy but an equal of sorts? Someone who could remotely pose a threat to me." She steps up with an ugly smirk. "And we both know that you're not even close to that. Same goes for Gilgamesh, really. So don't try and pretend to be my enemy. Such shameless hubris is unbefitting of a mortal." Denib nods frantically as she puts a friendly hand on his shoulders. "Now, then, Denib,
what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to open the gate?"
"Good boy." She turns away, and he faints behind her.
The gate rises, and we pass through it.
"Truly, my goddess, your mercy is beyond compare, to be so forgiving to the one that had inconvenienced you." I'm surprised to find that I mean it. By Ishtar standards, that was practically turning the other cheek.
She blushes at that, for some reason. "Ah, well, I mean, I'm a stern goddess, after all, but I'm not a cruel one! I wouldn't just kill him over a first offence. Just giving him a tongue-lashing and cursing him with impotence was more than enough."
"Truly, milady is wise and just beyond all compare," I say dutifully, comforting myself with the knowledge that at least it wasn't me.
"Of course I am! Now let's get moving! Uruk's not too far away!"
---
We arrive just before sunset, and Ishtar stops us just before we reach the gates.
"Well, this is where we part ways," she says to me with a grin. "The Grand Ziggurat is just down Main Street from here. My temple is behind it, although you'll probably only get there to drop off your offerings after you're done presenting yourself to Gilgamesh."
"Ah. Is that required of all visitors?" I ask politely.
She laughs. "No, no, I simply thought that introducing yourself to the local ruler would be your first priority." She smirks, and then says something that makes my blood go cold. "Master of Chaldea."
OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUUUUUUUUUUCK. I can't move. My blood freezes in my veins as I stare at her in pure, unadulterated horror.
"Oh, relax," she says, grinning ear-to-ear as she watches me freak the fuck out. "I recognized you from the start. I just played along with your little charade because you promised me a proper set of offerings, and you have a gift for flattery."
"In light of so wise and merciful a goddess as you, milady, no exaggeration, no matter how great could truly be called flattery, for words and minds cannot encompass the sheer scope of your greatness," I reply on reflex, to which she smiles warmly.
"See? How could I go and kill you after you said something like that." She kisses me on the cheek, and then rises. "Now go and meet the king. And be sure to keep your promise. After all, if I find out you cheated me, then I'll be very cross with you."
And then she's gone, soaring off through the heavens, and I fall to my knees thanking God I'm still alive.
"Holy
shit."
"Flynn?" Galahad asks, placing a hand upon my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah. Just… Gonna need a minute." I take a deep breath, and then get back up to my feet. "Alright. Let's go meet the King."