As I walk through the streets of Uruk, easily one of mankind's oldest cities, I can't help but note that the place seems more alive than I'd expected. One wouldn't expect a city engaged in a war against uncounted legions of monsters to be so… active.
But the city is
alive, far more alive than it has any right to be. I see no sign of economic strain, and in truth, the sheer number of laughing children running through the streets almost seems to say that life is
prospering.
When the Archer incarnation of Gilgamesh I encountered during the Grail Hunt told me that he would only rule over the greatest of peoples, I thought that he was full of shit. Now, though, it's starting to feel like he might've been onto something. If these people, laughing and prospering even during a war against their very existence, were the standard he set, then
no wonder he thought modern humanity fell short of his standards.
Alright, then. Let's go and see the King.
---
'
Is everyone familiar with the plan?' I send over the mental link. '
Repeat it after me.'
'
If Gilgamesh decides to kill us, I am to form the primary defensive bulwark,' Galahad repeats.
'
I am to utilize Abyssus Draconis, and then cover Siegfried as he gets into melee range.' Georgios adds.
'
I am to keep him busy, and trap him in melee, while Cu deals with his cronies,' Siegfried continues, rounding us off. '
Then, once his reinforcements are dealt with, we gang up on him and finish him off.'
'
Good. Remember, this is only a contingency, just in case he decides to kill us out of hand. I hope
it won't be necessary, but having met the man, I know that the possibility exists,' I sigh, then square my shoulders. '
Alright, let's go. Remember, let me do the talking.'
We start making our way up the steps, towards the gate of the Grand Ziggurat that serves as Gilgamesh's main headquarters. Considering the sizable line that ends a dozen or so steps ahead of us, it might be a while before we meet with him. But that's fine. I can wait.
---
Waiting
sucks. The sun is starting to set by the time we're allowed in, and I am an uncomfortable mixture of thirsty, hungry, and tired. My uniform is soaked with my sweat (and
seriously, who thought white uniforms was a good idea? I can't even begin to count how many hours I've had to spend washing bloodstains out of this thing, a frankly terrifying number of which were
my own,) I've had to talk Medea out of covertly murdering our way to the front of the line
twice, and I have a blazing headache.
And it's then, and only then, that I get my first look at King Gilgamesh.
"Divide the resources equally between the two families," he orders, dismissing the tablet-bearing messenger. "And take a fifth of the combined total as a fine for their infighting in times of war."
The messenger hurries off, and his court scribe scribbles down her notes.
He's addressing every complaint in person? That's almost as impressive as it is massively inefficient. Has he never heard of the concept of delegating responsibility before?
"Alright, Siduri, what's next?" the king asks, sitting back in his throne.
"We have exhausted civil petitioners, and there are no further messages from the ADF," his secretary reports dutifully. "We do, however, have a group of foreign petitioners that requested an audience with you. They've been waiting for quite some time."
Finally.
"Hmph. I suppose they could be put off for tomorrow…"
Oh, you motherfucker, don't you fucking
dare.
"But the king is generous. I will see them today."
Oh, thank God.
We're ushered into the throne room, to stand beneath the judging eyes of the King of Heroes. His secretary stands off to one side, and aside from that guy in the white cloak standing at Gilgamesh's side, she's the only other one in the throne room.
"My king, it is an honor to stand before one so elevated as yourself," I begin, my usual eloquence slightly diminished from the hours I've had to spend standing in the hot sun. "I am the Master of Chaldea, and I, alongside my comrades, have come to aid you-"
"Enough." He says it in a tone of absolute finality, and I comply. "You have quite some nerve, to claim that you are capable of aiding me. I possess Uruk, the foremost gem of Mesopotamia. I have summoned seven Servants to stand beside me. Who are you, to say that you can match these gifts?"
"We are Chaldea, the ones responsible for the resolution of countless Singularities. We seek only to secure the Holy Grail, and resolve the Singularity." Don't snap at him, Charlie. He's probably had a long day too, even if he's a massive prick. "This will be to the benefit of all of Uruk and will most likely end the crisis you are facing. We wish to aid you in the preservation of your people, and the destruction of your enemies."
"Ah. The Grail?" he snorts. "Do you perhaps mean… this?"
There it sits, shiny and golden in the palm of his hand. The cause of this whole damn mess. And if it is the cause of the Singularity, that would make its master our enemy.
Right. Will our previous strategy still work? I'd have to say yes. It's just the man in white and Gilgamesh's secretary in here with us. Cu can handle them. We'll have to be careful, just in case he tries pulling out Ea, but I know he's shit in hand-to-hand, and Siegfried's good at keeping up the pressure. We'll have to be quick, though.
'
Cursed Arm, get into position.'
I smile at King Gilgamesh. "Sir, I must politely request, if that is indeed the Grail which has established this Singularity, that you hand it over to us, so that we may resolve this unfortunate affair with all due haste."
"And if I refuse?" he asks, amused.
"While I've been told that corpses can sometimes have quite an impressive grip strength, I'm sure that with seven legendary heroes, we'll manage just fine."
He laughs, and doesn't stop laughing for quite some time.
'
Cursed Arm-'
"No, little man," he says, managing to quell his guffaws for long enough to speak. "This is not the Grail causing the Singularity."
"Ah. Very well then. May I assume that this enemy of yours, the Three Goddess Alliance, possesses it?" At his nod, I begin to strategize. "Very well. May I ask that you tell me what you know of them, so that we may coordinate our plans for their termination?"
And that sets the jackass off again. "And
yet again you assume that you have anything to offer me!" He snorts, then turns to his secretary. "Siduri, take note! I believe we have ourselves a new court jester!"
As I silently fume in humiliation, I have to remind myself that we can't just kill him for being an asshole. "I see. Is that your final answer?"
"For now. Prove your worth to me, and perhaps I'll change my mind." He makes a shooing gesture with his hands, and I have to restrain the urge to kill him again. "Siduri, lead them to their quarters and introduce them to the other Servants, wouldn't you?"
"Yes, My King," the veiled woman says, guiding us away.
'
Wow. Really knocked it out of the park there, Flynn.' Galahad sends.
'
I- You heard the man!' I snap. '
Nothing I did could ever get past that overbearing pride
of his.'
'
Yeah, I don't think that was ever going to be anything other than a disaster,' Galahad concedes with a shrug. '
Some people just don't want to let you help them, Flynn.'
---
Apparently, some of the local Servants swung by in an attempt at a welcoming party while I was out ensuring that the gold we Rayshifted over in the Temple of Ishtar arrived smoothly. I missed the entire party, of course, mostly because I got back a bit late, and went straight to bed without acknowledging them in the slightest.
I do feel a bit guilty about that, it's not their fault that their current boss is an arrogant prick with all the diplomacy and tact of a fucking crocodile, but after the day I had, I'm not in the mood for any more
bullshit.
The next morning, Siduri arrives with our first work order. The first of the tasks which will prove to Gilgamesh that we're truly reliable allies who might be able to aid him in his war for Uruk's survival.
In all honesty, I'm actually curious as to what task Gilgamesh will have set for me. What deeds would be required in order to earn the respect of humanity's first hero.
Siduri clears her throat and reads off the tablet. "One of our wealthier farmers has placed a complaint that, with all manpower being directed to the ADF, he has no one to shear his sheep for him. As such, and since you are at our king's disposal, he has decided that you are to fulfill the farmer's request, in order to ensure the continued prosperity of Uruk's textile industry."
The room is completely silent, as we stare at her. I'm not the only one glaring at her. Cu looks like he's one more sentence away from shooting the messenger. Hell, even Siegfried and
Georgios are glaring at her.
Sheep. He has a fighting force composed of humanity's best and brightest willing to offer him our support, and he's sending us… to
shear sheep.
I think I feel something snap in me as I stare at Siduri, who's beginning to look a touch nervous. "Is this…
truly how King Gilgamesh wishes us to apply our talents?"
"Well, um, yes," she stammers out, looking between the Servants uncomfortably. "I understand that you might feel it's a bit beneath your rank, but, well, the sheep
are very fluffy."
"My word," I say in mock astonishment. "
Very fluffy, you say? Why that definitely makes up for your jumped-up thug with a crown insulting
both me and Chaldea by sending a
team of humanity's greatest heroes to go and do
farm work in the middle of a WAR! But they're very fluffy, so that's all okay, now isn't it?" I advance on her, getting up in her face. "You can tell your blaspheming, raping, hypocritical
idiot of a king to GO FUCK HIMSELF, because WE! ARE! LEAVING!"
"I, wait, please don't-" she tries to grab my uniform coat, but I've already stormed out, my Servants following behind me.
'
So, boss,' Cu says over the mental link, sounding oddly satisfied. '
Where are we going?'
'
Ishtar. She's a strong ally, she knows the lay of the land, and, perhaps most importantly, she can be bribed. She's also confirmed to us that she's not really Uruk's enemy, so she can be swayed over to our side.'
We make it out through the gates before word gets out that we insulted the king.
And then we're back on the road.
