I met a unicorn today - (Stop!! Hibari-kun SI)

[noswald]

See the end of chapter for author notes.

---

Inside the room of a particular Japanese young man lies a study table like any other. Wooden in structure aside from the nails that support it, it provides ample leg room for the occupant and possesses three stacked drawers on its right side.

One of these drawers has a false bottom that contains a particular book.

[Private Journal of Kousaku Sakamoto] it reads, so none can dispute its ownership.

From a cursory inspection, it could have been like any other hidden record of young boys going through puberty. When the onset of new embarrassing desires or secrets requires writing down without the scrutiny of prying eyes, primarily those that belong to people related to the young boys.

Yet if someone were to actually read the first page, they would discover this journal contains writings most peculiar.

If you are reading this for the first time, then I hope for our sake that you are Kousaku Sakamoto, the original personality of your body. Barring a miracle, should you not have recollection of the days between the day you moved to Tokyo and the latest entry of this journal then hopefully these records may clear any discrepancies that have arisen in your absence.

For simplicity's sake I am ☐☐☐☐☐☐ your split personality. Hard to imagine I know, but my other suspicion would have been even more Unbelievably Chuuni. So we'll stick with that.

Moving on, Kousaku that day on the train while you were still in the midst of mourning over mother's passing. For one reason or another, I was given control of your body from that point on. It was as frightfully confusing to me as it may sound to you now.

In your place, I had continued along the plan of moving into the home of Ibari Oozora as mother had requested of him on her deathbed. Despite our…your previous hesitation of living with a stranger in Tokyo.

We..or at least I have found our new living situation quite agreeable. Ibari Ojisan and his daughters treated us like kin instead of a lingering house guest. The time I spent with them are an invaluable treasure to my -hopefully not- short existence.

So don't be surprised if 3 gorgeous women and 1 adorable little girl start displaying concern over your well-being. Oh, and do try to not to immediately initiate romantic gestures with them, it would be awkward for everyone involved especially little Suzume.

After you have fully understood the gravity of this preface, I suggest you turn to the next page and start getting to know of the life we have experienced as well as the people we have met.

Let us start at the beginning.

Meeting our new benefactor.

---

Ibari Oozora remembered how Kousaku-kun had looked when he arrived at the train station, nervousness was understatement. The poor lad's movements were incredibly stiff as he disembarked, eyes darting back and forth, not necessarily to catch sight of Ibari's welcome wagon.

No, Ibari had seen eyes like that before, during the dangerous times in his youth, it was the look of someone so panicked that they'd eye their surroundings for the slightest hints of danger. He felt a pang of pity of Harue-san, gods bless her soul, that her boy was in such a bad state

Luckily the poor boy didn't high-tail it when he called out to him. He flashed his most cordial smile before having Sabu and Seiji help escort him to the car. There was a brief period of silence in the car after Ibari had explained the short specifics of Kousaku's move here. The boy didn't say much besides short replies like 'ok' and 'uh huh'.

Ibari didn't really know what else to say to to the boy. His fingers were idly tapping his knees before Kousaku showed he wasn't so closed off by asking a simple question.

"Ibari-san….i'm not your secret love child am I?" Kousaku asked reluctantly.

The three grown men in the car who were currently performing a simultaneous spit take, had not expected that to be Kousaku's way to break the ice. The boy had understandably try to put some distance between himself and the spittle.

"I hop- I mean yes- I mean, not you are not." Ibari floundered, before steadying himself with a cough to his hand. "Ahem, what gave you that idea?"

The boy took some time to form his words. "It kind of confused me that some long-time friend of mom's who I hadn't met before is amiable to let me live under their roof."

"Well..it was your mother's dying request after all." he defended.

"Which I am very grateful that you've taken steps to fulfill it so thoroughly. I'm just curious, that's all. Most sudden guardianship of a young teen would entail just finding them a place to rent and pass on the occasional allowance." At the sight of Ibari's widened eyes, the boy hastily added. "So, I've been told."

Oozora Ibari ruminates on his next choice of words. "You're not wrong, but as Harue-san's son. I feel like you deserve much more than that."

The boy was visibly stunned by Ibari's 'cool' declaration if he did say so himself.

"That means a lot to me, thank you Ibari-ojisan."

"Think nothing of it." He said, then the two lapsed into a comfortable silence. Which didn't last very long.

"….So how do you know my mother anyway?" Kousaku-kun asked.

"To me, Harue-san was..the definition of youth." He said, clasping his hands at a nostalgic memory. Which was interrupted by Seiji's chuckle from the front seat, Ibari's boot put a stop to that.

"Youth?" Kousaku asked one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, youth." Ibari side-eyed the boy.

"So, you two had a fling back in the day?"

"Well, no she dumped me when I confessed. But I still have some beautiful memories." Aaaaaah, Ibari felt that he was reliving those good old days, when Harue-san was still young and healthy, wearing that form fitting sundress and hat combo.

Unfortunately, his recollections were interrupted again by a chuckle, this time from Suba. A new haircut courtesy of a speeding bullet helped stop that this time.

"JEEZUS MAN! What the hell?!" Evidently Kousaku was not used to casual displays of violence.

"Ah, worry not, everything's fine lad." Ibari said, tucking the still smoking barrel into his coat.

"Ya we'd be in a car crash if we weren't!" Kousaku yelled, Ibari wasn't sure what was the matter, it was only one gunshot. "What if we got reported to the police!"

"We'll just say one of tire's popped." he said confidently.

"...and that works?"

"More often than you'd think, kid." answered Suba, who kept his cool despite the new furrow in his hairdo.

Kousaku-kun didn't really seem to have a response to that and opted to stare out the car window. "….So, you were a Simp then?"

"What is that? Some sort of Kyushu Dialect?" Ibari asked.

Unbeknownst to Ibari, the boy had hidden a most devilish smirk with his hand in order to appear contemplative "...Ya sure, it's a new regional slang. It means a loyal romantic admirer."

"Is that so? Then I suppose by that definition then yes, I am a Simp for your mother. Did I say that right?" Ibari thought, what better way to connect to his new ward by familiarizing himself with their lingo.

"Textbook." Kousaku-kun choked out. "Were there others that also felt that way about mom?"

Ibari pondered. "Not that I wouldn't rightly know, Harue-san was a very desirable woman, but I was without a doubt, the biggest Simp for her." and that got him nostalgic again.

Kousaku-kun was lucky he was Harue-san's son, overwise Ibari would have struck him the throat to stop the incessant chuckling that came from the boy's mouth.

---

So we were taken in by someone that still held a flame for mother. Kinda strange but at least he's not being too weird about it. But really? We can't be too picky about a new home. Even if it is the home of a lovestruck Yakuza Boss.

Yes that's right, Yakuza.

If the black shades, suits and the gun didn't clue us in enough, the sign that blatantly says KANTO OOZORA GROUP OF THE KANTO YAKUZA ALLIANCE at the front his home certainly made Ibari Ojisan's profession very clear.

Luckily, we didn't have to join his group to be a part of his household. I even asked him about it. Although he did float the idea that we could exchange sakazuki cups when we came of age, if we wanted.

Nice of him to offer but rest assured we didn't agree to the idea, I'd like to avoid a future of being involved in organized crime. That being said, from our time with the Oozora's, Ojisan had mostly managed to separate the questionable legal activities of his work from his home life so we weren't in too much danger.

Anyway, after that we were told to wait in the Chasitsu while he prepared for a feast that night. It was unfortunate you missed out on it, the sushi offered by Yakuza really tasted better than anything we've had before.

This was also when we first met -with the exception of one- Ibari Ojisan's daughters.

---

'Good to see the boy loosen up a bit more.' thought Ibari as he saw his Kousaku sitting at the dinner table. Shoulders no longer tensed up like a coiled spring. High grade sashimi can do that to a man.

"Bwahahaha, You really won't drink Kousaku-kun?" Ibari asked, half-way to being plastered. Despite only just starting the feast.

"I'll have to decline Ojisan, I'm not old enough to drink." Kousaku-kun said in an apologetic tone. "Besides, after dad's ... .incident, I've had a bad view on drinking."

Incident what was..? Oh right, the paddy field. Suddenly Ibari felt a slight tinge of shame for offering. "My bad, sorry my boy."

Fortunately, one of his daughter's perhaps sensing the change in Ibari's mood, had expertly changed the subject. "Why don't you introduce us father?"

"Oh yeah, that's right I'll introduce you all to him." The Oozora patriarch laughed and began gesturing to each of his daughters.

First to the young woman with long black hair wearing a white dress shirt "My eldest daughter Tsugumi, she works as an illustrator. "

"It's nice to meet you." said the eldest Oozora sibling.

"Likewise, Tsugumi-san, it would be my pleasure to see some of your work if you'd let me."

"Maybe when I'm not too busy." she smiled.

Second, he pointed to the young woman with shoulder length red hair who wore a light blue striped polo shirt. "My second daughter Tsubame, she's in her third year of highschool."

"You'll probably be going to the same school as me, Kousaku-kun, It's nice to meet you." Tsubame said, all casual-like.

"Then I will be in your care, both at school and at home. Nice to meet you too."

Lastly, Ibari pointed at the small sweater wearing blue-haired girl to Kousaku's side. "The one sitting next to you is my youngest daughter Suzume."

"It's nice to meet you Kousaku-san."

Kousaku physically recoiled at the words to the shock of those present. "I don't think I've ever been greeted by such an adorable well-mannered little girl." he said, in a dramatic fashion.

The Oozora's at the table sans a blushing Suzume laughed at Kousaku's declaration. Good, the boy was opening up better than Ibari hoped.

Kousaku was the first to recover and looked around the room. "Is your last daughter not joining us?"

That question certainly put a lid on the good cheer half the table was experiencing if the sudden silence was anything to go by. Tsumugi and Tsubame were sharing quick glances between themselves.

Ibari stared down his drink with a complex expression before downing it in one go. "I have no other daughter." muttered Ibari, his expression grave.

Fate really knew how to crap on Ibari Oozora's life as his not other-daughter chose that moment to come into the room.The blonde-haired blue eyed youth was wearing a comfy shirt and shorts combo, the addition of a pair of black leggings really pulled the outfit together into something fashionable.

"Oh, Hi Hibari." The boy greeted pleasantly.

"Hi Kousaku." replied the stunning blonde in equal warmness.

It was Tsubame that cut into the casual exchange between the duo. "You two met each other already?"

"Met him in the Chasitsu earlier, we introduced ourselves after I stopped him from committing seppuku." Hibari explained as she sat down at the far end of the table between Tsumugi and Suzume.

"He WHAT!?" the other sides of the table erupted.

Kousaku gave a sheepish response "I was only examining the blade."

"With the hilt facing away and the tip pointed at your gut?" Hibari questioned with a smirk.

"I was examining it…..closely? that aside Ojisan, since Hibari's here, who is she if not your daughter?" The question was innocent enough without context. Yet the uncomfortable mood had returned to the table.

Ibari took a large swing of his sake bottle before answering. "He's my son."

"Son?" realization dawning on Kousaku's face.

"That's right," Ibari replied, ignorant of how that made Hibari's face frown. "My son and heir, Hibari Oozora."

"I see." Kousaku said almost sympathetically and his expression turned into…a smile? "Then you are quite the lucky man Ojisan, to have fathered 4 beautiful children." His tone was genuine.

"Indeed I'm quite a lucky man." Ibari laughed, his head metaphorically and literally swelling with pride. Though it takes him half a second to fully process Kousaku's words. "I MEAN NO! What part of this pervert son of mine is beautiful!?"

"I'm not a pervert." Hibari answered calmly.

"A GUY WEARING A SKIRT IS A FULL-BLOWN PERVERT." her father, not so much. "PERVERT PERVE-"

"Everything." Kousaku answered in the midst of Ibari's recriminations.

While the rest of the room seemed to have heard him, it was Suzume who was sitting right next to him that asked for clarification. "What's everything?"

"Oh, the answer to your father's question earlier." Kousaku replied the young bluenette.

It suddenly landed in everyone's heads what Ibari's earlier question was and connected that to what Kousaku had said.

The two oldest daughters had their jaws open, it was rare for someone to actually know about Hibari's ….habits, it was something entirely different for them to still compliment him despite that.

Suzume was smiling, another person in their house agreed with her that her older sibling was pretty.

Hibari was looking at Kousaku with barely contained glee.

And Ibari……his face was as white as a ghost.

"Ah, apologies, that was too fast of an assessment." Kousaku stated, the bottom of his fist slamming on his palm as he noticed his blunder. He faced Hibari to continue his words. "I should have said your appearance is beautiful, I have yet to know you better as a person so I cannot correctly say everything about you is beautiful. No offense."

"None taken." Hibari smiled, his tone joyous. "I won't mind getting to know you better either."

"That sounds lovely." Kousku calmly replied.

Ibari's face went from being drained of a color to having his eyes at risk of popping out of his skull.

"Kousaku my boy." the Oozora patriarch pani- pleaded with his arms on Kousaku's shoulders. "please don't tell me that you….you're…..gay?" surely Harue-san wouldn't have had the misfortune of raising a deviant like he had, right?

Kousaku tilted his head. "I don't think so? Do I have to be one to want to know more about a boy?"

"Well, no but…" Ibari muttered, he was tongue tied, the answer was obvious, there was nothing wrong with boys just getting to know each other and Kousaku didn't precisely say anything that suggested…ulterior motives.

"So why do you sound concerned?"

"He thinks you're coming on to me." Hibari casually replied in his father's stead.

"Is that so? Then you can lay those worries to rest Ojisan." Oh good he wasn't gay th- "In the event that does happen, I'll be sure to ask for your permission." Kousaku finished before helping himself to a mouth-watering piece of otoro.

Ibari meanwhile went cross-eyed at the mere thought that Harue's son and Hibari being..involved.

---

Ojisan had a heart attack after that, then a drug induced hallucination when his two aids tried to treat him. Tsubame promptly escorted us out of there when her father started talking about white alligators.

Hibari's reveal was an intriguing surprise. An heir to a Yakuza group, a crossdresser? You may not share my enthusiasm Kousaku as we both possess differing personalities but at the risk of sounding like a mad scientist staring down his first dissected frog. I find Hibari's…..condition/fashion sense/Hibari-ness? fascinating.

Also, they seem like a fun person.

From a cosmetic standpoint, they possess a naturally lithe body build, a high-pitched voice and perfectly soft facial features with minimal makeup. All of this while going through the onset of puberty? With Ibari Ojisan's genetics?

Either they've put a lot of work into their look or are blessed by the gods themselves. Newhalfs around the world would cry rivers of blood if they heard of them.

Understanding the reason for their lifestyle would be interesting as well. At the very least it would help us avoid offending them. Tsubame speculates that it's because he was surrounded by sisters his whole life that he desired to be like them.

Perhaps the only good role models in his life were his mother and elder sisters? Curious.

Ah, I rambled quite a bit there didn't I and it's getting late.

That concludes the first day with the Oozora's.

The first of many interesting days to come.

---

"Were you disappointed?" Hibari asked.

"No?" Kousaku, still facing the front door right after Tsubame left his room. "I was surprised but not disappointed" He answered her without missing a beat. Privately, Hibari was disappointed that he wasn't shocked when she entered from the side door that only connected to both of their rooms.

She let out an appreciative hum. Contrary to her expectations, expectations which Kousaku seems to have a habit of breaking. His response was not apprehension when faced with the truth about her.

He fully turned to her and then stared at the side door.

"So, our rooms are connected then?" Kousaku asked.

"Yup." Hibari replied.

"And the door has no locks."

"Nope."

"Doesn't seem very good for privacy."

"Oh? did you have something to hide from me?" Hibari said with faux innocence.

"I am a healthy young man, which means I tend to do unspeakable things when I'm alone in my room." Kousaku played along.

"Oh my." Hibari said, scandalized. "Can I watch?"

"Suggesting voyeurism so soon?" Kousaku countered with his own scandalized tone, covering this torso to further sell the act. "I fear that my chastity is in jeopardy, Oozora."

"Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

Kousaku looked at her with a deadpan expression to Hibari's own sultry wink. Both of their faces gave nothing away, until it did and the two of them started laughing.

It was in the midst of a dwindling giggle that Hibari Oozora decided then and there that Kousaku Sakamoto was going to be a fine addition to the family.

"I think I'm looking forward to going to school tomorrow with you Kousaku." She stepped back to her room and slowly pulled on the side door. "Goodnight Kousaku"

"Good Night, Hibari." she heard before the door that lead to her new housemate closed shut.

---

First foray into full writing in a long while, Honestly conflicted about this work since the premise was basically "wouldn't be cool if I could hangout it X character?" that's like the cringe-st kiddie reason for a fic.

But on the advice of the discord server i frequet and to satisfy my ego (plus sharping my skills or something) i decided to unleash this fic based on a manga/anime that's half a century old. Hope you enjoyed it.

 

[noswald]

What is this yee old manga you ask?

Stop!! Hibari-kun was a slice of life comedy manga written by Hisashi Eguchi back in the 1980s and published by shonen jump. It follows the titular Hibari as she and the rest of the cast get out to some day to day hijinks.

What really made this story standout back then was that Hibari was a transgirl (not that they used the term back then). Why that specifically stood out was that lgbt characters that were written back then were mostly unflattering stereotypes while Hibari was written...not as a normal person but with more respect then her contemporaries at the time.

Also I read somewhere that the manga was the first to kickstart shonen manga's practice of having the chapter cover pages to feature the main characters in stylish outfits thought that might need additional fact checking.

The manga had an ok run, but only stop at only 50-ish chapters without any sort of real ending, there was an anime that adapted the first half of the series then did weird and sorta overthetop filler episodes for the rest.

Never the less, it was quite interesting and some in the blue-pink-white communities (not that i'm apart of them, i just lurk in their writing server) like it for it's progressive portrayal of trans ideas at the time.

 

[noswald]

There was a certain bit of irony in walking into Hibari right as they finished showering the next morning, not that either of us could remember. Well, maybe Hibari could but I had my mind on other matters.

The curtains matched the drapes

School.

Ibari Ojisan had pulled some strings and gotten us transferred to Wakaba High School to continue our education. I would have been impressed by the swiftness of the transfer if I wasn't so nervous.

The first day of school is always universally scary, Sure you've been to school before and by extension me given that I've inherited your experiences. But last I checked Kousaku, neither of us know how to act in a highschool in the middle of tokyo what with it's stricter standards that big city folk are known for.

....According to your old preconceived biases anyway. So I'll guess i need to do what i've done so far and play it by the ear.

Terrific.

While writing this at the end of the day is evident that nothing too disastrous happened, the anxiety I felt the whole morning was not a pleasant experience.

---

Tsubame Oozora was walking towards Wakaba High, taking the same well worn path she had always used for the past 2 and a half years. The only difference today was that she had a tag along in the form of Kousaku Sakamoto.

When her father had broke the news that they would be fostering the son of a recently passed friend of his, she had expected a more stereotypical boy; loud, brash and full of machismo. Not that there was anything wrong with that, most of her male friends fit those descriptors to a T. She just wished they started being more mature.

Kousaku meanwhile seemed to be the polar opposite of them, he was quiet, courteous and confident yet not to the point of boastfulness. Her opinion of him would be near perfect if not for his eccentricities.

Tsubame glanced back at the boy in question.

Initially he was ready to leave the house whilst wearing an old gakuran uniform, Tsubame was quick to inform him that Wakaba had no formal dress code. When he learned of this, instead of changing out of it, he instead unbuttoned the top, exposing the green undershirt.

He reasoned that it was faster to just change his style than to go back and change clothes. It would have had the effect of making him look like some sort of half-baked school delinquent. Alas his natural baby face undermines the effect entirely.

The walk was getting awkwardly silent, so Tsubame decided to learn more about their new house guest. "So....you must have been surprised that we're in the mob." she asked.

"Oh definitely, I've only met your dad maybe once or twice during the… you know." Kousaku took on a melancholic tone. "Every time he came to visit my mom at the hospital, he'd always wear a suit. Frankly, I thought he was a banker or a regular salaryman."

"Insurance Salesman and Travel Agent was one of my go-tos when describing his job to my earlier friends." Which were half-truths, if you squinted at the protection rackets and one way trips to the bottom of Tokyo Bay.

Not that the lie would stick very long, her friends would find out the unpleasant truth sooner or later.

"How bout, Doctor?" Kousaku asked.

Tsubame briefly imaged her father in a doctor's coat and stethoscope. Yeah, that wasn't a very convincing image. "No one would buy that, dad doesn't look smart enough for that."

"You're right it is a bit of a stretch, Yubitsume is barely a surgery." Kousaku joked, it succeeded in eliciting a genuine snort from Tsubame.

"So, em…" she muttered, trying to redirect the conversation to the glaring issue in her family.

Besides the Yakuza thing.

"Yeah?"

She tried to think of the gentlest way to mince her words. "You're not bothered about Hibari's dress-?"

"STOP" yelled a voice from behind them.

Tsubame flinched, turning around to see her brother standing right there. For someone so flashy, her brother sure knew how to sneak up on people.

"You know, you shouldn't try to talk behind someone's back." Hibair huffed, with no real anger behind it.

"Technically we were talking in front of your face." Kousaku added helpfully?

"Oh? Then how about we talk shoulder to shoulder." Tsubame was too busy decoding the strange body part logic these 2 were getting at to stop Hibari from hugging Kousaku's arm.

"Hibari, don't cling to Kousaku like that." she chided.

"Ah, that reaction-" Hibari pointed at her. "You've fallen for him."

"HIBARI!" Tsubame admonished, She did not!

"You can't fault her Hibari." Kousaku interjected with a shake of his head. "This rugged Kyushu charm of mine is irresistible to all the Tokyolite girls."

Tsubame might need to retract her opinion on Kousaku's lack of boastfulness.

"You're right, I already feel myself falling for you too." Hibari swooned on Kousaku's chest.

"Oh woe is me and my devilish charm." he said, a pang of fake regret to this tone, then looked to the side with fake tears in his eyes. "I truly am a sinful man."

The pair's dumb play acting brought more irritation rather than amusement to her. "Alright, cut that out you two, we can't let Kousaku be tardy on his first day."

The morons had untangled themselves as they reached the gates of Wakaba High. Predictably, her brother was getting a significant amount of looks and greetings from the male student population as they passed by.

And of course by the time they made it inside the building proper to change shoes, a veritable tide of letters came falling out of Hibari's shoe locker as he opened it.

Hibari didn't so much as give the letters a second glance before casually handing the stack of letters into Kousaku's hands. "Here you can have these."

After a brief examination Kousaku realized these were indeed love letters. "Boys confessing to Hibari? I was not aware how gender progressive schools in Tokyo were." A tinge of awe in his tone.

Tsubame fell to the floor in comedic fashion after hearing that. "You got it wrong, Hibari attends the school as a girl."

Kousaku-kun's eyes widened like dinner plates. "A school that admits you based on your own preferred gender? That's even more progressive, truly the schools in Tokyo are ahead on the social curve."

After promptly falling for a second time. Tsubame thinks it might be prudent to also add shameless jokester to Kousaku's list of descriptors.

---

Spirited is probably the most polite word I'd used to describe Wakaba High, it applies to both the students and faculty of the school for better or worse.

Our homeroom teacher, Iwasaki-sensei, had started our introduction well enough, but soon she twisted it into the backstory of a bad daytime soap opera character. I had to kindly interrupt her and ask her not to dramatize our family history or at the very least, not sully what little memory we had of our father.

He may have died in a pathetically shallow amount of water after a bad drinking binge, but he was never a violent drunk to us and mom. Unlike the tall-tale Iwasaki-sensei was fabricating.

It was a blur between that first period and lunchtime, all I could remember outside of lessons were the gaggle of boys who were swooning over the fact that I was living with THE Hibari Oozora.

Also I think I made an enemy slash rival out of this dude named Shina. All I did was threaten to dropkick his leg that was blocking my way to my seat. How else were we supposed to assert our dominance? It's schoolyard etiquette 101.

Anyway, the student body of Wakaba, oblivious to Hibari's secret, had unanimously agreed that she is the most attractive girl in school. Just when I thought the Hibari situation couldn't get even more entertaining.

I didn't get a chance to contain my amusement at the revelation before being dragged out to the campus field by the school's sports club. A good number of them actually approached us during lunch trying to convince us to join one of them.

Which is odd come to think of it, we weren't star athletes back in our old school, so why did all of them try to poach us? Club shortages maybe?

Regardless, I did consider joining one, we're only young once right? It'd be a shame if we didn't enjoy our high school days with a healthy amount of extracurricular sports, else we'd suddenly find ourselves well into our 20s as a couch-potato listlessly wondering if our lives would have taken a better turn if we experienced the fires of youth.

….as a totally non-specific random example. Totally.

---

Kousaku stood up from the school desk that was hastily grabbed for his purposes. "That's all I need to know for now. Your recruitment will be placed with the others for further review. Short-listed candidates will be contacted for further inquiries and potential application. Thank you for your time." Kousaku said to the soccer club member in a professional tone followed by the offering of a firm handshake.

The eerily office-like conduct of the recruitment was very out of place given that they were out in the open school field.

"You took way too long for each of them." Hibari said to Kousaku as the last club recruiter walked their way back to class.

What was supposed to be a quick sales pitch by each of the clubs had turned into a deeply detailed interview by the newly transferred teen. Some of the questions were normal enough such as 'when do you all usually meet? and how many members are in your club?'

It was when he started throwing questions like 'What transferable skills might I learn from your club and Has your club received any accolades as of late, if not the why do you think is the reason?' that had the recruiters regretting their overeager actions. Half of the time, Hibari thought Kousaku was just throwing them a whole lot of mambo-jumbo just to see the recruiters sweat and stumbled through their words.

"I like to be meticulous before making any long lasting decision, besides it's good practice when they graduate and experience something like this themselves when they job-hunt in the future."

"Here I thought you were messing with them." Both of them started walking back to class, they only a few minutes before lunchtime ended after all.

"Oh, that too." Hibari snorted. "They ambushed me during the lunch break Hibari, Lunch is Sacred."

"So? Decided on a club yet?" Hibari needled Kousaku's side. She had made a tidy profit from the 'recruit Kousaku to your club.' ticket sale. Even with the man of the half-hour's cut of the sale.

"Hmm Rugby and Sumo are obviously out even without those questionable signing-on gifts." Understandable in Hibari's opinion, a single strand of leg hair was a gross gift, allegedly taken from Iyo Matsumoto or not. "Beside, I prefer not to develop a super muscular physique." He went through several exaggerated flexing poses to emphasize his point.

"Heeeh? You sure? You'd look super manly?" Her statement was more of a joke than a convincing argument.

"I want to be physically fit, not end up as a roided meathead." Kousaku continued. "I'm not a fan of team based sports either so I can cross soccer, basketball and baseball off the list too."

They were by the stairs now, a few of their classmates passed by as they too wished to get back to their seats before the bell rang. "Surprisingly anti-social of you."

Kousaku shrugged. "I just don't want to learn the complicated rules and tactics of a team sport."

"That's fair, that just leaves the Martial arts clubs?" Hibari recalled seeing that a representative from the kendo had arrived later than the rest, the shinai wielding senpai decided to pass on Kousaku once he saw how long and slow the line was moving.

"Mostly like yes, Judo's out of the running at least, they do additional training on Saturday afternoons. Nobody takes what little weekend time I have from me unless they're bribing me with something worthwhile." Hibari let out a brief giggle at Kousaku's totally legitamate reason "Regardless of my choice, I think I'll only join after the midterms."

"Are you bad at studying?" Hibari asked curiously.

Kousaku waved his hand in denial. "I'm.. okay at studying, i just feel i need to be extra focused for a while to keep up with Tokyo's level of education."

"It couldn't be all that different from where you're from." she tried to encourage him, though she had no real reference for saying that. "I could help you study."

"Out of the goodness of your heart?" Kousaku's hands were clasped in his best impression of a pleading pilgrim.

Hibari considered being charitable but the mischievous part of her conscience shot that idea down. "Well when you put it like that, maybe I should ask for a favor in return." she asked provocatively.

"Curse my own turn of phrase." Kousaku snapped his fingers at the setback, even if he didn't seem all that upset. "Fine, name your price Oozora."

"Hmmmmm, how about you agree to go shopping with me?"

Kousaku stood still in the hallway as his face went through a myriad of expressions. First was pondering, then anguish, followed by pondering again and finally resignation.

"Ok fine, I accept your terms." Kousaku begrudgingly agreed, sealing the deal with a handshake with her. "Normally I loathe being dragged along for clothes shopping but it's a small price to pay if you'll help tutor me."

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to make it fun." Hibari winked.

"It's hard to make waiting around while you go through outfits sound fun." Kousaku sighed. "That place we're going to better have husband chairs."

"Husband….chairs?"

"You know, the chairs for people that are only there to accompany the actual shoppers?" Must be a Kyushu dialect Hibari thought. "An oasis for the weary feet of boyfriends, husbands and the occasionally impatient child."

An inkling of an idea came to Hibari's head. "It'll just be a few outfits, I'll be sure to pick something you like, Anata~" she was leaning into the bit that Kousaku oh so conveniently set up.

As evident by Kousaku's tomfoolery this morning, he was down to ham it up. "That won't be hard, you look gorgeous in everything you wear, Honey~"

"Smooth talker, maybe when we get home after that, I could help you with those weary feet of yours. Darling~"

Coincidentally, a pair of girls from another class saw their little skit and blushed at the little domestic act between Hibari and Kousaku.

To her delight, Kousaku didn't shy away from the insinuation. "A foot rub and helping me study? What did I ever do to deserve a wife like you." he said with a smile.

Hibari could think of one reason why.

"Hey!" It was unfortunate that their little domestic moment was interrupted by a particularly tall shaggy haired teen they both recognized, hoisting Kousaku up by his unbuttoned gakuran.

"You've just known Hibari for 2 days and now you're talking about her being your wife" the surly teen punctuated his point by tapping his first on Kousaku's chin. "Don't you think you're being a bit too chummy?"

"Says who?" Kousaku asked.

"Me."

Kousaku's left eyebrow raised in confusion. "..and you're…?".

"Makoto Shiina! We've already met!" he all but screamed in Kousaku's face.

Kousaku's eyebrow stayed in position.

"I'm your seat neighbour."

Nothing about Kousaku's expression changed.

"Are you dense or what?!"

"He's the guy who's leg you almost stomped on during class." Hibari chimed in helpfully.

"Oh I remember that, I was just wondering why he gets to decide who can be chummy with who." Kousaku's eye's widened at a sudden thought. "Unless......oh my god I'm the faceless homewrecker in an NTR scenario?"

"What does that even mean?!" Shina asked incredulously.

"You're no homewrecker Kousaku." Hibari didn't understand half of what he said but she at least got that part. "Shiina here just thinks that he's better off as my boyfriend."

Shina tried to defend his image. "Come on Hibari-chan, I've gotta be way better boyfriend material than this noodle here." Kousaku momentarily scowled but then remembered that that was an apt description of his body.

"No." Hibari replied with all the bluntness of a sledgehammer. The devastation of such a blow was evident from Shiina's face.

"Oooof, zero hesitation. That's rough buddy." Kousaku patted his captor's arm consolingly.

Shina didn't respond well to that. "I don't need your pity!" He bonked the top of Kousaku's head.

Now honestly, Shiina's strike was more of a gag hit rather than anything serious which would be true for any other person. Shiina on the other hand, as a long time member of the Wakaba Boxing club, was quite the physical specimen. Not as tough as the ogres of the sumo and rugby club members, but still tougher than the average Wakaba student.

Having been embarrassment by Hibari's swift rejection, Shiina had forgotten to control his strength, resulting in Kousaku face planting rather painfully onto floor.

"Kousaku!" Hibari cried, concerned for his wellbeing.

"See Hibari-chan, this guy can't even take a single pu-" boasted Shiina, right as he was taken out by a single punch by Hibari. The hallway soon gained a new decoration.

Hibari knelt by her downed friend. "Kousaku, are you ok?"

Kousaku groaned slightly as he picked himself up "Bruised, but I'll live." He said then stared at the end of the hallway. "Hell of a haymaker maker you gave him."

"He deserved it." Just then the school bell rang, heralding the end of lunch. "Come on, we better get to class."

"Should we.., pull him out of there?" he asked, concerned for his classmate/rival/bully? Who was currently embedded in a wall.

Hibari gave it a final look back before shaking her head. "Nah, he can pull himself out."

"Alright then." The matter was settled. They were still at risk of being late after all.

---

Is it possible to realistically fit so much dialouge in a scant few minutes? I try not to think about it.
Comments are appreciated.

 

[noswald]

note: I don't usually write this fast. I just have a few backlogs that i wait a few days before editing and posting. All for the pursuit of consistent numbers.

---

"That's a big smile you have today, Boss."

"Indeed I do, Seiji." Ibari answered his second-in-command.

It was a series of extremely lucky events that had him feeling jovial that morning.

First the back sprain he got the other day from bending over to picking up Suzume's coloring book had healed. The discomfort lasted almost a whole week even with liberal use of heat patches, He should remember to do more stretches in the future.

Secondly, the egg that Tsugumi had used for his portion of breakfast had two yolks in them. Ibari had only seen the phenomena only a handful of times in his life. It was almost too wondrous to eat, yet he would shame Tsugumi's cooking efforts if he didn't eat it, so he will.

Lastly, Seichi had reported in saying he managed to track down a particularly slippery debtor that was months behind on his loan payments. The bastard had thought of skipping town to avoid his dues, regretfully he had the misfortune of buying from an Oozora group affiliated Tobacco Shop that alerted them to his presence.

Mrs Nakano will be expecting a 'birthday gift' next week for her assistance, Ibari was happy to oblige.

A perfect start to the day all in all.

Tsumugi was setting the table when she noticed a few absentees from the table. "Ara? It's almost breakfast time. Have Hibari and Kousaku not awoken yet?"

Now Ibari is a firm believer that a man is entitled to sleep-in on his off days; or in the case of teenagers, Sundays. But the breakfast Tsugumi made was getting cold, that just won't do.

"If Kousaku-kun's not up yet, I can go and wake him." Seiji said all too eagerly. When Ibari had assigned his hulking enforcer to wake Kousaku up every morning, he didn't expect him to be so invested in the whole thing.

Sadly after only three days of experiencing his morning antics, Kousaku had brought an equal amount of alarm clocks to deprive the original reason for Seiji's presence in the morning to the man's dismay.

Kousaku's defense was and he quoted ' I'm not a kid, Ojisan I can wake up on my own. Besides, I can do without the morning heart attacks .' End quote. Ibari of all people could agree to the latter.

Ibari walked out to the engawa. "Why don't you take a breather Seiji?. I can go wake the boys up."

"Are you sure boss? It's really no trouble for me to do it" Ibari was slightly put-off by the desperation in Seiji's voice.

"No, no it's fine, I'm feeling charitable this morning." to who exactly was up for debate.

"Got it……,thank you very much boss." Seiji said, head bowed and an Aura of forlornness surrounding his beefy frame.

Not that Ibari cared to notice, still riding the high of this wonderful morning. He was practically skipping to Kousaku's room, his mind going through what he'll do for the day with renewed vigor.

Nothing could ruin his mood.

Ibari opened the door-

---

We lost our alarm clock privileges today, it's totally unfair.

Okay maybe it was justified a little since Ibari Ojisan had another episode at the sight of his nightgown-wearing son snuggling next to his ward in bed. That doesn't mean he should jump to conclusions about my lack of self control, It should be Hibari's.

Although I get the feeling Hibari has long cemented the impression Ojisan has of them, self control and all.

I could lay the blame on Hibari, except when they told me they only drowsily crawled into the nearest bed after THEY had to turn off my last alarm clock that I slept through. My pedestal of righteousness lost stability so to speak.

Anyway, as a precaution against future morning mishaps with Hibari, Ojisan decreed that we're back on the awful arrangement that is the Seiji Alarm System. Sure it's grossly effective, but we brought three alarm clocks for a reason!'

I mean, Seiji is a good guy when you get to know him, as far as Yakuza guys go at least. But the man has a face that can wake the dead and then kill them again in a heart attack. I am speaking hyperbolically, despite his frail heart, Ojisan is still alive with Seiji by his side…somehow.

At least Ojisan was considerate enough to reimburse us for the clocks, apparently the group has a -and I am paraphrasing here- 'mechanical specialist' that's looking for some spare clocks for his 'explosive arts'.

That sounded suspiciously like a bombmaker.

Ojisan assured me that the Oozora group does not do business with a bombmaker.

I was not wholly convinced.

Regardless, this latest bout of 'unmanly-ness' from Hibari has Ojisan motivated to get his son reformed as a 'man amongst men'. Says he plans to enlist the help of a man coach/testosterone tutor/yakuza boogieman? to train Hibari in the ways of macho-ness.

I could not completely endorse Ojisan's declaration, Hibari seems happy with their female self and strong-arming them to follow some old notion of ideal masculinity sounds like a bad time for everyone involved.

Yet I could partly understand his concern as a boss of a yakuza group, the other Yakuza groups wouldn't treat the Oozora group kindly if someone like Hibari was the boss of it.

If they still wanted to be the next head of the Oozora group, that is, I am not privy to their plan for the future at the moment. Maybe I should ask them when I get the chance.

After dealing with the aftermath of the morning's kerfuffle, I went shopping with Hibari as part of their fee to help me study. Sensible of them to pick the date to be after the mid-terms so we can get on with the shopping without any academic worries.

The department store wasn't particularly far, we took a bus ride that lasted a few minutes before arriving at the Mitsukoshi main branch in Nihonbashi. It was big, like, how-in-the-world-can-a-building-used-for-shopping-be-this-big? levels of bigness.

And the shop Kousaku, dear god the shops. I bet there's enough of them here to outnumber the businesses back home in Yamaga.

We were having a real country bumpkin moment with how slacked-jawed we were. Luckily Hibari knew their way around and guided us to her preferred clothing shop, some fancy place with an english name, we would have been lost otherwise.

Our part in the shopping was more involved than I expected. a combination of the shop's high prices and the surprisingly average amount of monthly allowance that Ojisan gave them meant Hibari had to be smart about their choices. We were there to provide a second opinion in addition to being the bag carrier.

Most of what they picked for themself were already pretty good, so we didn't have to worry about judging every article of clothing. The only real dilemma came when they had to decide which of their picks to let go off.

It took an hour and a half for Hibari to gather their pickings, then spent another 20 minutes evaluating, retrying & bargaining over their choices. As instructed I put my foot down when Hibari tried to add more than their budget could handle.

They finally settled on 5 tops, 2 skirts, 4 pairs of pants, 1 jacket, 2 dresses and 6 pairs of matching underwear which they only posed at me while fully clothed, still got some judgemental looks from the other shoppers though.

I also got some of my own shopping done, 2 new shirts on Hibari's insistence and a few pairs of comfortable shorts to sleep in at night. The reign of night-time tighty whities is over, our boys can finally breathe!

I also got us a sleep mask, it should give us precious few microseconds to regain consciousness before seeing Seiji's face thus minimizing our shock in the morning,,,I hope.

After all that we brought some snacks on the way home to share with the rest of the family. Overall not the worst shopping trip we ever experienced, doesn't mean i want a repeat of it anytime soon. Clothes shopping is still a drag in my opinion.

---

He walked through the threshold of the Oozora home, coat in hand, his face impassive. The sound of stomping feet heralded the arrival of his current client.

"Thank you for coming, Spartan." said the lord of the manor.

"It has been too long, Boss Oozora." and Spartan Tatsugoro meant it.

By his recollection, it had been 7 years since he had done business with the Oozora group. Once upon a time, an uppity gang consisting of foreigners had tried to muscle-in on the tokyo crime scene without paying proper respects to the Kanto Alliance.

Needless to say, the gang's organization was swiftly dismantled over the course of a week by the very same alliance they snubbed. Spartan signed a short-term contract with the Oozora's group as an enforcer slash consultant, using his skills to weed out the foreign rats from their little hidey holes.

And judging from the anxious look on Ibari's face, he must have another difficult task that requires Spartan's expertise.

"You seem to be deeply troubled by something." he asked Boss Oozora.

"You could tell?"

"It's written all over your face." metaphorically Spartan meant, otherwise Ibari would look quite silly with words scrawled all over his face.

"I see, I've always been too honest, my emotions always show on my face." yes, quite silly indeed. "At any rate, do come in." Ibari said as he led Sparta into his home.

It was only then that Sparta realized that there was a little blue-haired girl standing in the genkan.

"Hello…" she uttered weakly.

"Hey! This isn't the sort of world where a little girl should be wandering around." Sparta looked her in the eye while pushing his views. Predictably the small girl started crying, both at the gruffness of the statement and his abnormal visage.

"Spartan." Ibari called out. "That's my youngest daughter."

"How old are you, little girl? Do you want some allowance?" His demeanor turned on a dime, it was a poor decision to antagonize the boss's daughter, yakuza or not.

After Ibari had gently dismissed his youngest, the both of them were soon found sitting in the washitsu. Ibari had finally told him of his task once tea was served. A task that was, to put in bluntly, extremely puzzling.

"You want me to train your son?" Spartan asked.

"That's right." Ibari confirmed with a nod.

It was an odd request, the only training he ever provided was training yakuza grunts to be something more than just common thugs for their respective groups.

Sparta was about to ask for specifics when a commotion could be heard coming from the engawa. A blonde teenage girl was running past their view, followed by another teenage girl, a red head this time.

"Hold it right there Hibari!" yelled the red head. Her chase was stopped short by a teenage boy that had come from the opposite direction.

"What's wrong Tsubame?" asked the plain faced boy.

"It's terrible, Hibari's wearing my underwear!"

Ibari spat into his tea, Sparta just raised his eyebrow in intrigue.

The boy, unfazed by the cause, merely titled his head and asked. "Was it the light pink set with floral lace design?"

"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT!?" The red head was now red faced.

Smirking, Sparta could think of a few ways the boy might have known, not all were innocen- why was Ibari turning a deep shade of purple?

"Because they brought it during our shopping trip today? Specifically said it looked just like the one you had." Aaah so it was a more mundane reason for the boy's knowledge.

The red haired girl seemed to be at a loss for words.

"You've been tricked, Tsubame." the boy spelled out in response to the girl's lack of it.

"I COMPREHEND THAT MUCH!"

"Booooooo, You're ruining my fun Kousaku." the blonde teen made a reappearance.

Ibari, it seemed, had had enough. "WILL YOU KIDS CUT IT OUT!? We have a guest!"

"Ah I'm sorry" "Sorry ojisan." "Sorry dad." the trio said.

The girls had moved along elsewhere while the boy seemed curious enough to stick behind the shoji door.

Spartan couldn't help but criticize the laxness of the Oozora group he's seen thus far.. "The Oozora group lacks the proper sense of agency I see."

"Spartan." Ibari semi-growled, he didn't appreciate the jab at his leadership. "I'm aiming to cultivate a family-oriented mob ring, I don't need you to tell me how to run my own group."

"I apologize, I spoke out of bounds," Spartan went back to sipping his tea.

Ridiculous or not, Ibari was well within his rights to lead his group the way he wanted. No matter how foolishly soft it sounded to Spartan.

"Then am I correct to presume that this boy is your son?" he asked, his head gesturing to the black haired teen.

Ibari, with his arms crossed, merely shook his head. "No, Kousaku is just my ward."

"Can confirm, I'm not his secret love child."

"Hey! there's no need to add that last part." Ibari almost threw his tea cup for the comment. For a mere ward, this boy really knew how to run his mouth. "Hibari, come here for a moment." he called out.

"What is it, dad?" the blonde girl had returned, Spartan had presumed that she was merely curious. But when no other boy had arrived at Ibari's summons. Spartan started to put 2 and 2 together into a mind shattering revelation.

".....th….this is your son?!"

Ibari nodded gravely.

"Don't stare at me so much." Ibari's 'son' replied in the most sickeningly girlish way possible. Spartan, the toughest man known in the Yakuza world, felt faint.

"Oooh so that's the way I was supposed to look when Ojisan told me your secret." Kousaku stated as if gaining sagecious understanding.

"Nah, I liked how you reacted to it better, you were really sweet about it." Hibari said with a smile.

Spartan ignored the chatter and focused back on Ibari who was now bowing towards him. "Please train him, he's the only heir to the Oozora group."

"I see....., I'll give it my best shot." If nothing else, this task would be an interesting challenge for him. "I take pride in being called the Spartan Dragon. So I won't back down.".

Spartan took off his sunglasses and fixed his future 'student' with an intimidating glare. It did not go as intended.

The fabled visage of the Spartan clan which was actually an odd hereditary case of orbital hypertelorism either caused fear, revulsion or laughter to those that see it. The first two were useful features in the criminal underground.

Unfortunately, Hibari fell in the latter category.

"Hahahaha, he looks like a flounder." Hibari said unabashedly.

"Hibari, it's rude to laugh at other people's disabilities." Kousaku argued. "No matter how much they look at home in saltwater." That little punk was smirking!

Hibari laughed harder.