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Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by TheVoid22222, Aug 31, 2016.

  1. TheVoid22222

    TheVoid22222 Making the rounds.

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    Last edited: Apr 26, 2023
    Dragonin likes this.
  2. jrbless

    jrbless You needed worthy opponents.

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    So Taylor is now some kind of projection that can create other projections. With the other projections she makes, are they permanent or do they disappear after a time? If they disappear, can she create one with a known time limit (these handcuffs will disappear in 2 hours)? Can she just create projections of money and spend that? Or clear out a CoinStar type thing with a lot of fake quarters?

    Parts of her mindset doesn't seem to match, unless she triggered in way different conditions (her being a projection instead of bug controlling Master would indicate something changed). From canon, she should have been much less trusting of authority figures. She also isn't thinking things through very well. With the cameras she used to record her bullying, she should have made a copy of those recordings before confronting Blackwell. Of course, her asking favors from the E88 will get her marked as a sympathizer - that's why you don't interact with them in the first place.

    When you had Danny leave for DC, I was suspecting he was a cape and was going to a different PRT branch. His behavior of not telling Taylor "bye" as he was leaving was the only hint that something was wrong. That he can't be found now does not bode particularly well for his continued well being.

    Coil adopting Taylor directly from the hospital is a bit of a stretch. There has to be some kind of waiting period for the authorities to find Danny (or his body) before Taylor could be adopted. Initially, she would be forced into a foster care situation (where the state temporarily has all parental rights), then the state (as her legal guardian) would attempt force her to submit to being scanned to determine if she is a parahuman. I don't see the attempt as being particularly successful. This version of Taylor is much more willing to go the full-on Villain route rather than submit to a known-corrupt system. After this point, she would willingly join up with Coil.
     
    Rikallyn, dmbarbour and GiftofLove like this.
  3. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Holy shit, the PRT is in full idiot ball mode there.

    "We think you murdered your father, oh no, wait, we know he left the country, and your house was blown up so we think you did it. Except that we know Bakuda did it. Oh, and by the way, we want you to submit to a test for being a parahuman and we'll hold you without counsel until you agree. Because that's the very best way to make someone agree to join the Wards."

    SO MANY WAYS they've opened themselves for a lawsuit.

    You hear that distant detonation? That wasn't Bakuda. That was Glenn Chambers' head exploding when he found out what's been going on.
     
  4. FreshwaterPlimpie

    FreshwaterPlimpie Know what you're doing yet?

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    Everyone's behaving weird around Taylor, does she have a weird stranger power too?
     
    Rikallyn and A/N like this.
  5. GiftofLove

    GiftofLove A Gift From The Heart

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    I'm pretty sure that Danny was mastered. Regent?

    The big question though is how Coil even knows about Taylor. There's no reason for her to even be on his radar that I can see.
     
    Rikallyn and highs2lows like this.
  6. Ack

    Ack (Verified Ratbag) (Unverified Great Old One)

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    Also, question.

    Who bombed the house?

    Because it wasn't Bakuda. She doesn't do the 'parcel on the doorstep' thing. That's amateur night. And in any case, who the crap would bomb someone's house for showing potential sympathy toward the Empire Eighty-Eight? Why haven't all the real members of the E88 gotten nastygrams already?
     
    dmbarbour likes this.
  7. The Halfa Wannabe

    The Halfa Wannabe Halfa is now Dark Lord of the House Elves Gone for Good

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    Don't usually like your work but impulse is speaking to me. Loving it so far.
     
    TheVoid22222 likes this.
  8. Gindjurra

    Gindjurra Versed in the lewd.

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    You have a technical error in chapter one.

    Tasers don't cause unconsciousness unless they are Tinkertech. Since Taylor can't afford Tinkertech, that means her Taser can't knock people out. Odds are she couldn't afford a regular Taser either, since they cost about the same as a high quality handgun -- in the $600 to $1200 range. The electrical weapons that are in her price range (starting around $40) are even less impressive than a Taser, and are just compact cattle prods.

    What makes a Taser so effective is it's a patented modulated pulse technology -- designed to minimize the risk of death, though people do still die from being tased. In the use of force spectrum, Tasers are betwern baton and handgun in how dangerous they are (despite how the police use them as if they were between unkind word and pepper spray -- police are shielded from wrongful death lawsuits).

    The way one works is it overrides voluntary muscle control by jamming nerve signals. But those same nerves also carry the signals that tell lungs to breathe and hearts to beat, which is why people sometimes die of being tased. If Tasers could cause unconsciousness, they would be lethal more often than not, since knocking someone out electrically causes brain damage to the areas of the brain that tell hearts to beat and lungs to breathe.

    The dirt cheap so-called 'stun guns' that are in Taylor's price range don't even do that much. They cause pain and electrical burns and that's all they do. They're nothing more than a cattle prod that fits in a hand (instead of the riot baton size of a full size cattle prod).

    But assuming Taylor did get ahold of a high quality real-deal Taser, her problems are not over. Civilian Tasers throw out a large amount of confetti-like bits, each of them stamped with the unique code for that Taser. They're designed to be extremely difficult or even impossible for someone to find them all after using a Taser. Short of parahuman telekinetic powers, Taylor would have left evidence of that Taser use all over the PRT rep's home. Assuming she got ahold of a police or military grade Taser -- which don't launch confetti -- her problems still have not ended.

    Tasers fire in two modes. The first mode produces a loud bang that sounds like a gunshot, and launch a pair of metal darts that trail wires behind them. They imbed in clothes and skin, and often require minor surgery to remove. Neighbors WILL call the cops if they hear a gunshot, even in Brockton Bay. That darts and wires mode is absolutely required to deliver the stun effect. If a dart misses or fails to make skin contact or a wire breaks or mode two is used, the target is completely awake and aware and able to fight.

    Mode two is touching someone with the electrified end of the taser, which is called a 'drive stun'. A drive stun works exacly like the cheap cattle prod 'stun guns' do, in that it does not cause any kind of stunning effect, it's just pain and electrical burns. Using mode two on someone causes extreme pain but does not slow them down at all.

    Tl;dr: the Taser Taylor used in chapter one does not exist, so how did she subdue the PRT agent?
     
    wargonzola and TheVoid22222 like this.
  9. DeathOfRats

    DeathOfRats Getting some practice in, huh?

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    And danny is handwaved out of another fic.
     
    Ack likes this.
  10. Valor

    Valor Versed in the lewd.

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    I for one can't stand Danny. Or Taylor. Or Tattletale.

    One of the characters I like the most is Thomas Calvert, but people in general is all over those above and seem to despise Coil. Sigh.

    Oh yeah, pretty good story.
     
    Ack, numantia and TheVoid22222 like this.