Into Infinity (Jumpchain SI) (Dead)

[Drey]

"Welcome, Jaedin Yuki, to the afterlife. Unfortunately, you've passed away just a few moments ago. You are in fact, dead."

A girl's voice suddenly spoke to me in a pure white room. When I looked up I saw that she was wearing blue and white clothing along with a hagoromo, and had blue hair as well.

"Wait. You don't seem dead. Is this some kind of jok-mmhgfgl"

And as suddenly as she appeared before me, the blue-haired beautiful girl disappeared.

She looked familiar.

And that's when I realized that she was Aqua.

So, I was to go to Konosuba first, huh?

Hmm? What's happening, you ask?

Well, one day, I died.

And when I died, I was given a choice: to go to heaven's lower courts where I would lie around all day or to be a Jumper, where power was given in pieces to empower and sate the desire for other worlds in people who've died.

Of course, I chose the latter, and I was sent here.

What? A choice to which world I go to first? There was no such thing.

But, I'm glad. I have written out a story involving a Konosuba jumpchain before, so I know the plot somewhat. I wasn't going in blind.

In any case, I was given a new life to live, which is why I am not dead. Understand?

Aqua popped back into existence onto her throne, holding a pile of papers.

"Alright. So, you're not the usual comer, huh? Lucky bastard, having someone watch out for you."

She huffs a bit. Is she jealous? She's totally jealous!

"Listen up because this is how things are going to work. You get sent to a fantasy world, just like one of your animes, as a hero to defeat the Demon King. You get benefits too. Normally we'd offer you a single cheat item but apparently you get some different system with choice points.

Normally you'd get dropped there as well but you could have an existing family and history, you know, if you want. Don't ask me, I didn't make it up. You understand so far?"

Of course, I won't ask you about that whole family history. I can see you reading off the small stack of papers. Still, I nodded my head to show my understanding.

"Good. You get 1000 of these 'Choice Points' to buy fromt his sheet here so make your choices and get going."

With that, she hands me the sheets of papers, which I saw some of them were already checked out.

… Like the option to kick out Kazuma from this world.

Oh boy.

It was a jumpchain document that I've seen before, so I filled it out quickly.

From experience writing this out before, I went for the 'Rogue' Origin, taking Fallen Goddess, Miracle Man, the freebies, and 2 bags of Eris.

And… Aqua.

She definitely didn't read this, otherwise she'd be enraged.

Why did I make my choices?

Because as a Fallen 'Goddess' I can have endgame stats while being lucky as hell with Miracle Man.

Also, although Aqua should be a whiny bitch, a spendthrift for alchohol and a 'useless' goddess, her spells are quite powerful.

And, well, I need her if Kazuma's not going to bring the goddess.

Hopefully she will be easy to handle… yeah, not happening.

"I'm done," I say to the Goddess that was busy eating chips.

"Mmm? Good good, I'll just send that to them and you'll be off!" She said as she took the papers and they disappeared.

She munched on a few more chips, unknowing of the turmoils that was await her in the future…!

There was a flash of white light, and a woman with white wings appeared. "According to your choices, I will take over Aqua-sama's job from now on."

"Ehhh!?" Aqua squealed in surprise.

A blue magic circle appeared under her and me.

Oh? Is this what they use to transport us to another world?

"What are you talking about, Michele?" Aqua asked the angel, in a tone suggesting that she knows the angel by name.

The angel sighed.

"Aqua-sama, you have been chosen to go along with Jaedin Yuki to the other world, for the full duration of ten years or until you beat the Demon King."

The circle started brimming with light, and while I was marveling the lightshow going on, Aqua was screaming…

"No, wait! Wait! You can't be serious! Isn't it cheating to bring a goddess along? This shouldn't count! I can heal as a Goddess, but I can't fight, either! Wait! Wait!!!"

Light filled my vision as Aqua's desperate pleas resounded in my ears.

A/N: This time, I'll try something different

 

[Drey]

Spoiler: Bodymod

BodyMod 600 CP
Build: Medium
Body Type: Athlete 100 CP
Str
End XXXX
Spd XX
Dex XXXX
Appeal
Shape
Sense
300
Flexibility 1
Metavore 100
Evercleansed 100

Spoiler: Warehouse

Warehouse 150 CP
Utilities
Electricity 10
Plumbing 10
Heat/ A.C. 10
ForceWall 20
Structures
Shelving
Housing 20
Misc
Stasis Pod 20
Portal 30
Food Supply 10
Return 20

Spoiler: Konosuba jumpchain

Location

Spoiler: Axel, Town of Beginnings.

It's the birthplace of every adventurer, the lowest level town in the world and a wonderful starting
point for any low level adventurers to be. The people here are friendly and there's never a shortage
of new adventurers that come here looking for people to party up with. Low level shops abound and
there are apparently a few secrets hidden in the alleys, for the enterprising explorer. If you're not
interested in adventuring, you could pretty easily spend your life here as there's enough excitement
to keep things interesting. Can get surprisingly dangerous every now and then though.

Origins

Spoiler: Rogue

The sneaky sort or at least those without much of a specialisation in other things. Rogues like you
often don't have the best reputation, though that's really more the fault of the people than the
class, but you'll have more potential and freedom than the other classes. If you're choosing to be
born in this world, you'll have grown up on the streets of the starting town, being known to people
as a rascal and street rat.

Race

Spoiler: Humanoid

Every world has them so don't be too surprised. You're one of the many basic humanoid races.
Humans, elves, dwarves, these are all the races that don't really have any special innate advantages
to them and are all accepted as part of good, civilised company. You may pick any fantasy race that
is humanoid and has no real benefit over a normal human for this option. The most difference you
might see is being a bit taller or shorter than the average guy.

Perks:

Spoiler: The Way This Works- Free

This world follows the same rules that it seems every new world does these days. On entering this
world, you were given an Adventurer's Card which we'll describe later and the ability to gain and use
skill points to level up. Skill Points are gained by killing monsters or other living beings and are
automatically collected from them when the deed is done. Gather enough and you will be able to
level up on your adventurer's card, increasing your base stats and learning or upgrading your
existing Skills with your new points. You can't learn something you don't have the ability to learn,
haven't been taught or that isn't part of your class. Ah, and Class? Another thing you'll automatically
receive. This'll dictate your general stat growth through levelling up here and the sort of skills you
can automatically learn and unlock via just skill points. Any fantasy RPG class can be taken, though
your origin will limit you to specific types. Rogues may take any stealthy, all-rounder or evasive class.
Mages may take any magic using heavy class. Knights may take classes that focus on high offence or
defence physical combat. Priests may take classes using divine magic or other support classes.
Bosses may freely pick. You will begin with a basic class but you can spend 100CP to upgrade to a
more advanced class straight away, which will give you better starting stats, stat growth and better
skills. An Arch-Priest or Crusader Knight for instance.

Spoiler: Fallen Goddess- 600 Good Goddess: Swordsmanship, Anti-Poison, Health

You didn't come down to this world without picking up a bit of extra spark along the way. You're a
former Goddess now, a divine being that has lost a large portion of its power but still retains
incredible abilities and varied powers. Just for being what you are, your beginning stats in this world
are far higher, equal to an end game adventurer. You are also able to draw magical energy from any
who worship you in this world, though this particular trait won't persist past this world without a
certain perk. As a Goddess, you also have a series of purviews over which you hold divine power.
You may pick up to three different things to hold power over, such as Water, Luck or The Arts. You'll
find yourself blessed in regards to these things, effortlessly skilled in anything relating to them and
with vastly more power when you use magic associated with your purviews. You also have an innate
affinity to your purviews which may provide passive abilities, such as being immune to heat damage
if you pick Fire. You will also choose whether you are a good or evil Goddess, though this won't
affect your actual morality. Instead it will give you either a Holy or Unholy attribute, respectively.
You'll gain an immensely powerful aura for which attribute you choose, such that a Holy Goddess
could kill high level undead with a single tear due to the holy energy infused within or badly harm
them with a touch. It will empower any Holy or Unholy abilities greatly too. Lastly, buying this will
boost any capstone perks or items that you purchase, as detailed in the notes section at the end of
this document.

Spoiler: To The New World- Free

It'd be really unfair if we asked you to just drop into this world without even knowing how to speak,
wouldn't it? Usually we'd just stuff your brain with all the info you'd need but apparently, we're not
allowed to take the usual brain trauma risks. Lucky you. Whenever you come to a new world, you'll
automatically receive a wealth of information about it, as if you'd grown up there. You'll know at
least the main language, the main culture, the pricing and measurement systems, some of the
dangers that are common in the world, how to get work and a bunch of other stuff. Go to a new
world and we'll do it again, all risk free. It's not going to let you waltz into the enemy stronghold but
it will help you get on your feet.

Spoiler: Stop That Thief!- Free

A rogue is more than just a charming smile and a cloak to hide under. If you didn't have the skills to
match your occupation, you'd be quite the embarrassment. You've got the skills to sneak around
even some of the more perceptive monsters in this world, you've just about mastered the Steal Skill
that allowed you to take things from people from a distance, though your luck will determine what
you take, and you're pretty good at fighting dirty as ideas to take advantage of the opponent and
your surroundings will pop into your head one after the other.

Spoiler: Miracle Man-300

Blessing from a goddess? As if you'd need any of that. You were born with a luck stat that
outmatches anything short of a literal God of Luck. Most adventurers might see the Luck stat as a bit
of a dump but yours is so high it's like magic. Even if your opponents rig the game, losing a game of
chance or gamble is nigh impossible. Skills that only have a chance of working? Them not working
perfectly will be a once a year occurrence at best. Even in things not directly related to luck, you find
yourself taking absurd advantage after advantage. Master class fighters trip over their own feet,
weapons break mid swing towards you, and monsters develop sudden sicknesses. It's rare that you'll
enter a conflict without at least a handful of small advantages and almost impossible for you to not
get at least one stroke of luck in any fight. That said, your luck seems to find that getting you into
interesting situations is also an aspect of being lucky. Be it adventures, romances or mysteries, you'll
be guided by your luck into having an interesting life...though it can get quite dangerous at times.

Items:

Spoiler: Adventurer Card- Free/Mandatory

The sign of your adventuring nature. This is your Status Sheet, effectively. It denotes your level,
statistics and any special abilities that you have. It's also proof that you're an adventurer and will
give a good idea of how strong you are and how good an adventurer you are. If you ever lose it, it'll
appear right back in your hand the next time you need it. You use the card to level up with skill
points in this world, so don't let anyone else get a hold of it if you've got unspent points.

Spoiler: Bag of Eris- 50x2

The currency of this world. You've got a fair sized amount of it in here, around 50,000. It should be
enough to set you and your party up with some beginning gear and let you stay a few nights at an
inn at least. The bag will refill once a year and in future worlds, will be filled with the currency of
your current country.

Spoiler: A Place To Stay

It's a whole new world, filled with excitement and wonder. And things like needing a job to pay for
food or a house for shelter at night. Gotta wake up from the fantasy sometime. You'll have a few less
worries with this at least as a comfy house will be waiting for you in each world that you go to. It's
fairly large, having enough room for a half dozen people to comfortably live together. If you're
willing to shell out an extra 100CP, undiscounted, you can upgrade this house to a luxurious
mansion. It'll eve be maintained for you by ghostly servitors from a nearby cemetery, apparently not
yet wanting to pass on to the next world.

Companions:

Spoiler: Annoying Goddess- 0CP

We'd really like you to take her off our hands. She's gotten awfully lazy, loud and boorish as of late
and seeing someone like you, working on these point things, we thought we'd do our best to get
Goddess Aqua to just bugger off from the divine realm. Sure she's loud, stupid and unlucky but you
can't say no to that power, fan service and....you can't say no!
Please take her off our hands. It won't even cost you anything. We'll kick her down with you. She'll
become a companion free of charge, though she will have only her abilities as a fallen Goddess.
Please don't leave her with us.

Drawbacks:

Spoiler: No More Zero-0

You came into the world just a little bit earlier than you normally should have, taking the spot of a
young man who died a rather embarrassing death. Kazuma will no longer be present or coming to
the new world, with you taking his place and time of entrance. Whether you follow his path or not is
up to you but his place will be left empty and open.

Luck Capstone

Spoiler: Luck Capstone

Miracle Man- Your luck is far further reaching than normal. You're just as lucky as ever but now your
luck will actively work to set up things in advance or from a distance to eventually help you. If you
enter a new world, your entrance will cause a shock that saves the life of a powerful wizard from
their demonic foe, eventually leading that wizard back to you to become a loyal and strong ally.
Instead of having their weapons break mid swing, enemies might just hurt themselves before ever
leaving camp to come and encounter you in a fight. You might not be aware of your luck working but
it'll be constantly supporting you form the background as well as with immediately obvious things.

 

[Drey]

And so, I was transported to another world.

Houses of red bricks dotted the scenery and the streets looked like those from Europe in the Middle Ages.

There were no cars, bikes or power lines.

I took in the sights of the carriages and fresh air, as well as the varied people that littered the streets. Elves, dwarves, and people with animal ears.

This… this is the feeling of another world.

I have truly moved to another world…

Looking over myself, I notice that I'm slimmer and I still had my clothes on me from when I died. I also had a pretty big bag

Next to me is a screaming Aqua who was hugging her head.

"AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!"

"Hey, Aqua, what's wrong?" I say dumbly. My mind had not processed that she was taken over to another world from her comfortable life.

I didn't expect her to grab me and shake me while crying either!

I was shaken back and forth, a new experience in my isekai adventure!

Luckily, I was able to stabilize myself, take ahold of her shaking arms and say, "Umm, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong!? What's wrong is that I'm here and can't go back! Hey, what should I do? What am I going to do now?" She says with tears in her eyes, shaking me a little throughout her rant.

Ah, man, I'm bad with crying girls.

"Well, we should start at the adventurer's guild to get a Class and jobs," I decide to say.

With that she decided to let go of me and nodded at my words. "Unexpectedly, you seem reliable. Ah, Jaedin, my name is Aqua. I don't mind you addressing me as goddess, but call me by my name whenever possible or else citizens will surround us and we won't be able to go on adventures and take down the Demon King. This might be a different world, but I'm still one of the revered gods in it."

Right, right.

I already knew I couldn't rely on her for most things, so I tried to find the adventurer's guild.

And by find, I mean ask someone for directions.

"Ah, excuse me," I call out to a young man, "Do you know where the adventurer's guild is?"

He blinked. "Oh, from out of town? The way to the guild is down the main road here and you would turn right, then you'll see the signboard for the guild."

"Right then, thank you. Let's go Aqua."

And so, Aqua and I walked along the road to the Adventurer's Guild.

I noted the odd looks directed my way by the local populace. I tried to ignore them in favor of looking at the bag I had on my person when I came to this new world.

9 gold coins, 9 silver coins, and 10 copper coins. 100,000 Eris, the equivalent of 100,000 yen, so less than 1000 dollars. While not worth the 100 CP, I needed money when I came to this world, and this was the easiest option for the lowest price. I also find a deed for a home, its location noted on it.

I entered the Adventurer's Guild and was greeted by a waitress.

"Ah, welcome. Please approach the counter if you're looking for quests. If you're here to dine, then please take any empty seat!"

Inside the building was a slightly dim lighting. On the side there was a bar, with groups of men in armour and some girls in some not-so-practical armour hanging about. On another side there was a board, with a few people looking at the postings on it.

The thing was, they were staring at me.

No.

They were looking at the person behind me.

"Hey, they're looking this way too blatantly. It must be the holy aura coming from me; they must've discovered that I'm a goddess."

I don't think they can sense holy aura, though? It must be because of her looks.

Well, even if she is beautiful, she has a rather bad personality.

"Well, let's go to a counter and register as adventurers."

I walk over to the four counters, Aqua behind me.

Three of them were empty, while one had a long waiting line. Two of the attendants were guys, while the other two were women.

Of course, the prettier woman was the one with a long line.

So, as expected of me, I went into counterlady who didn't have a line.

What? You expected me to queue up for a pretty face?

Well, yes, I would, but the line was just way too long compared to the empty queues.

"Hi there, I and my friend here would like to register as adventurers," I say to the woman.

"All right. Since you said you want to become an adventurer, you should already know a bit about it, but I'll explain it from the start. First, adventurers are responsible for the extermination of monsters wandering outside the town, people who get rid of dangerous creatures that might harm the citizens. They're also jacks-of-all-trades, taking on odd jobs that require their talents. Collectively known as adventurers are people who earn a living this way. And among adventurers, there are different jobs."

The counter lady handed Aqua and I one card each, about the size of a driver's license.

"Please look over here; see the word 'Level'? As both of you know, all things in the world have souls. If you eat or kill a being, you can absorb a part of the memory of the soul, known as 'Experience Points, which this card can show how much you have absorbed. The level corresponding to your experience points shows how strong an adventurer is. With the accumulation of experience points, all creatures will grow stronger rapidly, which is levelling up. Levelling up will give raise the adventurer's statistics and skill points to learn new skills, so please work hard to increase your level."

And that was a huge info dump. Luckily, I understood it well enough. Adventurers take odd jobs to make ends meet and levelling up can make one stronger.

"First, please fill in your height, weight, age and other details in the blanks."

Ah, okay.

…

I don't know how much I weighed since my body had changed, so I had to get weighted by the lady. How embarrassing…

After filling out the measurement form given to me, I touched the card she held, and…

"Jaedin Yuki-san, right? Let's see…Every stat drastically exceeds the average! Especially your Agility! And your luck isn't even calculated! Who in the world are you?"

So she screamed.

Huh. Must be the Fallen Goddess Buff I got.

Many people in the guild looked over at that.

I felt uncomfortable at the stares.

"This is way above amazing! You can choose from most of the top-tier jobs right now!"

When I opened my mouth, I had a feeling… that most of those top-tier jobs would not work for me. In other words, invalid. This is because of my origin.

In that moment, I felt the world grind to a halt, and in front of me was a screen that listed what I could take.

I couldn't take Sword Master… a shame.

Assassin, thief, ranger.

And so, I took Assassin.

Hit hard and strong on the first strike.

Also, I would be terrible as a ranger with a bow.

"An Assassin."

"Assassin! Assassins are the strongest in getting a kill and ending a fight cleanly. They usually take the role of the first strike and their critical hits are dangerous! I'll register you now… Done. Welcome to the adventurer's guild, Jaedin!"

A similar thing happened with Aqua, wherein she took up the Archpriest job.

And then, it was to finding a job for the both of us after I asked the crowd surrounding us to like, move out of the way.

Going over to the quest board, we looked over the available quests…

"Oh, how about this one."

I pointed to a giant frog extermination quest.

"Hmm… it's not really fitting for a goddess like myself, but I'll follow your lead."

Glad to hear it, Aqua!

And so, we were off to kill some giant frogs!

…

After getting some equipment first!

…...

At the blacksmith's shop, we took our sweet time to find a sword for me.

"Oh, oh! This one!" Aqua shows me a blue scimitar.

"I'm not sure if I want that…"

"Oh, come on, Jaedin! It matches my hair and outfit! It would totally fit you as my minion!"

"Hahahaha," I laughed monotonously. "No."

Still, there were so many weapons here!

Now, you may be asking why I'm getting a sword instead of a dagger as an Assasssin.

Well, it's because I have Sword Mastery (Maxed)!

Thanks to myself being a former goddess, I am the strongest in sword techniques!

My body's health should be at its finest and my body should also resist any poisons that I encounter.

Hey, I couldn't think of much to go for, okay.

Maybe a Goddess of Magic? It was rejected.

Shame, that.

Anyway, back to the sword business.

I see a longsword priced at a few gold and I take it.

"Eh? That definitely doesn't fit you… why not this color? It matches!"

Shut up Aqua.

"We should get you a weapon too, so pick something that fits your tastes."

"A goddess such as I wielding weapons? How unglamorous!"

...

A/N: I'm a few chapters ahead, and it's hard thinking of scenarios. What could they be doing day by day?

 

[Drey]

I sneak up to the giant toad, then I swipe out my longsword and quickly decapitate it!

Finely cut, like a sashimi… or something.

I had no armor, so it'd be dangerous if they were to detect me and eat me.

"Nice!" Said the useless Goddess to the side.

I looked at the relaxing Aqua and said, "If only we got you a weapon, then you could help out some more…"

"I'm helping plenty by giving you encouragement from the sides! You should be honored, being praised by a Goddess!" So she said.

"I'd be more honored if the Goddess would fight alongside me."

"Bzzt! Wrong answer! You're supposed to say, 'It's an honor to be receiving praise from Aqua-sama.' Now, say it. Saaay it!"

This fucking girl!

Ah, a giant frog came up behind her while we were talking.

Looking at Aqua, it was too late for me to warn her as she was suddenly eaten!

Ahhh!!!

She was actually eaten! Her legs were sticking out of the frog's mouth!

Don't worry, I'll get you out!

Using my longsword, I made quick work of the immobile frog.

But Aqua…

"Ugh…" She sniffed away her tears. "Thank you, Jaedin. Thank you… WAHH…!"

Covered in sticky frog juice, Aqua was hugging her knees while crying.

The frog? Dead, its head sliced into ribbons.

This Sword Mastery Skill is scary…

"Are you okay, Aqua? We can go home for today since the quest was to exterminate five frogs in three days, and we've already gotten two."

I try to see if she wants to stop here for the day. I can easily finish the quest, but we can do it tomorrow too.

"No… For a goddess like me to be humiliated by a frog, how can we retreat! I'm already defiled. If a believer sees how dirty I am… Their faith will plummet! If people knew I ran from frogs, it'd be a disgrace to the beautiful Goddess Aqua!"

The same idiotic Aqua that I've known for not even a day?

Yeah.

I'd say it'd certainly plummet.

She then stood up, a roaring determination behind her eyes, and rushed towards another frog.

She threw a punch at the frog, yelling, "Feel the wrath of a goddess! You dare oppose a goddess!? Repent in hell! God Blow!"
She punched it, and it didn't move, its belly jiggling from the attack.

From here I could hear her say, "Looking closely… frogs are actually quite cute, right?"

Then she was eaten again.

It sounds funny but when you see your companion get eaten by a frog it's quite terrifying!

I killed it quickly, and sliced down another 2 in the vicinity to complete the quest.

…

There were public baths, but I decided that spending money to take a bath was no good since my Warehouse had a shower.

So, after I dragged the crying Aqua over to my new homely home after reporting the completion of the quest, I willed open a portal to my Warehouse, and dumped her in there.

I threw her into the bathroom and she came out clean.

"You didn't try to peek," she noted.

I stared at her and replied, "No shit I wouldn't."

"I see, I see." She nodded to herself, probably self deluding herself. "So, it's because I am a Goddess! I see!"

"No, it's not you idiot. Who the hell would try to peek at you while showering!?"

"What!? Are you saying a Goddess's body isn't good enough!?"
What the fuck girl!?

…

The house was well furnished and had a kitchen, though there was a giant food dispenser machine, so we didn't have to cook.

"Hey, Jaedin. Jaedin! I pushed this button and food came out!"

It was as she said.

Just a push of a button and a dish of fried meat came out.

The label said it was frog meat and it tasted pretty good to us.

Yum. So those frogs tasted so delicious, huh…

"So, this place is our house?" Aqua decided to ask me while eating from her plate.

"No," I waved her off. "Our house is in the other world. This is a separate… dimension? For myself."

"Dimension magic, huh… Seems a bit wasteful, especially since it doesn't look that luxurious."

I shrugged. "It's free."

"Ahh…" She got a faraway look in her eyes. "The best things in life are free, you know? Cherish them. You don't know when you'll be ripped away to another world without most of your powers."

Too real, Aqua.

And aren't you talking about yourself?

"Right, right. Anyway, how do you feel about getting more party members? We'll be able to hunt more monsters and earn more."

Not to mention that the prime time to recruit Yunyun was tomorrow. And if we get Yunyun, then we'll get Megumin!

And then… Darkness? Was Darkness useful against anything? I totally forget.

"Of course we should gather more party members! It's a prerogative for the hero to have a team of high tier adventurers in their party. We'll need second tier adventurers to join our party if ywe're going to beat the Demon King!"

"Okay, okay!" I held my hands up in a placating gesture. Then I said, "Well, we have an Assassin and a Archpriest, so we'll need a tank and mage."

"I understand a mage, but where would we find a tank?" She asked, tilting her head.

"No, I mean, someone who can defend on the front lines as well. I may have put in a lot of points into Evade and Sneak, but it'd be useful to have someone else who can fight head on."

"Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Good job, Jaedin!" She praised.

……

"Why do we have to go so early!?" Aqua whined as we walked the streets of Axel.

"Because I'm a morning person. Besides, you could've slept in the house instead of following me, you know?" I countered.

"No! What if you get someone weird into the party who's useless! I have to be there in order to see that a party member who's worthy of me is recruited!"

Haha.

"Don't worry, I'll try to find someone who's at least a tier two, so go back home!"

"Huh? Why are you so insistent on making me go back?" She gasped. "Could it be? You're replacing me!?"

I sigh, rolling my eyes. "As if you could be replaced."

And she let it get to her head. "Eheheh~ See? I'm that important to the party!"

I didn't mean it that way, but whatever.

We arrived at the guild and went over to the counter lady that was so popular since there was nobody queuing. No, rather, it would be more accurate to say that there was nobody there.

Anyway, she told me that it would be 1000 Eris to post a recruitment poster for a week.

So I paid the equivalent to 1000 yen, and got my poster set up. It's not necessary, but I'll just have to wait for Yunyun and Megumin to come in and-

I heard the door slam open.

From the doors of the guild, a young and frail girl in a red and yellow dress wearing a witch's hat and a brown cloak came out, shouting, "My name is Megumin! Crimson Demon Clan's Greatest Magician, the one who uses… Explosion… Magic…"

She looked around the guild and only saw me and Aqua there, so she stared at us, face reddening.

I started to clap, while Aqua…

"Bfffft! Hahahahaha!"

Laughed at her.

I shook her shoulder, saying, "Hey now, don't be so mean. They're new here, you know?" Even I didn't laugh though I wanted to!

Megumin blushed and turned her head away. Behind her is another young girl in a black dress with pink ornamentations wearing a black cloak.

That must be Yunyun.

It was pretty surreal, you know, seeing the characters from an anime in real life.

Ah, but Aqua doesn't count, you know.

Megumin and Yunyun went over to the counter lady to show them their cards, and when I heard an "Amazing! As expected of a Crimson Demon!" I looked over and saw that Yunyun got her card back while Megumin looked like she was planning something,

I came over to the two, Aqua in tow, and asked Yunyun, "Hey there, would you like to join my party?"

Yunyun froze up and her eyes started shining, and Aqua came up to me and asked me, "Hey, hey, what if she's not who we're looking for?"

"Ah, sorry, sorry." I said to Aqua, then looking over to Yunyun who seemed to have regained her nerves. "Do you mind if I ask you your class?"

"Archmage! Please let me join your party!" Yunyun exclaimed.

"Well, Aqua?"

She looked surprised that I would ask her, before nodding. "Yeah, it seems that she's worthy of being in a party with a being such as I."

She looked over at the frail girl who was probably Megumin, "And you? Will you be joining my party as well? You seem to be an Archmage like her."

She didn't ask me? Well, it's not l wouldn't not want Megumin in the party.

Megumin puffed out her nonexistent chest and said, "I'll consider it. Just how good is your party?"

With a flourish, Aqua said, "Well, I am an Archpriest! And Jaedin over here is an Assassin!"

I nodded at that, "The more firepower the better."

Especially Megumin's explosive firepower.

She joined our party as well, saying something about how she had to keep watch for Yunyun or something.

What a kind friend.

A/N: Hmm, where I am at, I can see that it'll turn out like my other story. This is because they mostly follow canon. On the other hand, I could break canon early on and follow the lead of another fanfic...

 

[Drey]

I Sneaked up to another frog and decapitated it, and I hear Yunyun finish off another one as she protected Megumin from them.

Man, I know that it's breeding season, but I didn't expect nearly a dozen frogs at once!

I used Flash Step to get in close to another frog and then used Assassinate to decapitate it as well.

"Fireball! Fireball!" I hear Yunyun shout.

'Aqua was useless' is what I'd say, but she casted Powered on the other two and Haste on myself, so she did something! Megumin also wiped out quite a few of them with her Explosion.

When we finished off the frogs Aqua had the bright idea of dumping them into my Warehouse and getting them out at the Adventurer's guild.

"Wow, you know the dimensional pocket spell, Jaedin?" Yunyun said in wonder.

"Not something an Assassin would have…" Megumin noted.

"Ah, something like that," I waved off. "Anyway, what about the two of you?"

Megumin was being carried by Yunyun as we made our way back to the guild to get our earnings.

"Like, Megumin, do you know anything other than Explosion?"

I already knew it was all she knew, but I said it for the sake of making conversation.

"I only know Explosion…"

…

"Hey, hey, wouldn't you have learned other spells as well if you can use Explosion?"

Aqua asked her.

"I'm an Archmage that loves Explosion!" Megumin asserted.

"Right, right. What about you, Yunyun?" I decide to move on to her handler.

"U-um! I only know Intermediate Magic for now, but I'm saving up for Advanced magic!"

So she said.

"That's good," I said. "Personally, my skills deal with more one-on-one sitiuations so we'll be relying on you for groups."

"Y-yes, please count on me!"

"Hey, hey, Explosion is good for groups too…" Megumin sulked.

"Yeah, but you can't use it consecutively, can you? One-shot Mage." Aqua butted in.

"O-one shot mage…"

Our earning came to about 65,000 each once we turned in the frogs.

Very profitable. Wonder why the other adventurers don't do these quests?

"Because there's even more profitable quests," said Aqua.

Really now!

At my surprised look, she said. "Of course! It's only common sense, after all."

…

So, she doesn't really know that reason why.

"So, you don't know for sure."

"I just know it!"

Hah…

……

The next day,

"Hey, hey, let's go into the forest," said Megumin.

"Isn't there that Demon hanging around?" I ask.

"That's exactly why! Have you seen the reward money for that? If we get it I could get the highest grade Manatite staff!"

And there's her reason for going.

Yunyun looked pensive, but then, looked at me and said, "I'll go with whatever you decide, Jaedin!"

"A Demon!? We must go vanquish it, Jaedin!" Aqua exclaimed.

"Fine, fine," I relented.

And so that day we went into the forest.

We needed to kill the demon anyway, right?

"Demon hunting~ Demon hunting~" Aqua hummed in the forest.

"You think we're just going to stumble upon the thing?" I ask the other two.

"Hmm, maybe if we're lucky enough," Megumin replied.

"I-I hope it isn't too strong, or we're in trouble looking for it…" Yunyun said.

Ducking under a tree branch, I said, "Well, my luck is ridiculously high. Just maybe we'll run into it?"

"Oh yeah? How high is it?" Megumin asked.

I gave her my adventurer's card.

"W-wha!" "Oh my!"

Megumin and Yunyun were shocked at my luck.

To be in all question marks… it's either really high or really low.

But considering the Perks I took with me coming to this world… it should be ridiculously high.

Still, our conversation tunred to a halt after that.

What could we talk about, anyway…

Ah, I wish we found that demon already!

That's when we saw him.

A giant, black demon with horns jutting out of his head and giant wings.

He was huge!

And also, not looking at us!

From where we were, I could hear him sigh, saying, "Man, I've had much too bad luck today… Running into an endless amount of adventurers testing their luck, my spells failing on me… I had to run away. But!"

He stood up.

"I am Hohst! A Greater Demon! I will not be swayed!"

"Yunyun, can you stun him or something?" I whisper to the girl.

"Yes, I can use Paralyze but we would have to get a bit closer."

But Aqua already rushed ahead, heedless of my unsaid desire to law low!

"Greater Demon! I shall vanquish you in my name!"

Damn it Aqua!

"Megumin, don't kill us with your Explosion! Yunyun, try to use Paralyze on him until it works!"

""Got it!""

"Sacred Highness Exorcism!"

With her arm, she pointed at the Greater Demon and cried out her spell.

"Sacred Highness Exorcism!"

"Sacred Highness Exorcism!"

And she kept on spamming it…

"Sacred Highness Exorcism!"

…

"Noooo…!"

He disappeared without a trace.

Uwah.

"A-amazing!" Yunyun said in surprise.

"Hmph. Explosion could've done the same thing…" Megumin said.

"Good job, Aqua!" I decide to praise her this time. Seriously? That was way too easy!

Panting, Aqua said, "Of course! I am a Goddess, after all!"

""A Goddess?"" Megumin and Yunyun ask. Then they go, ""Ah.""

Nodding to themselves, I can see that they have made their own conclusions, but just in case…

"Do you really think she is a Goddess?"

"No." "No way."

…

"She must be of the Axis Cult!"

"Yeah, that's right."

……

When we came back to the Adventurer's Guild and reported the death of the demon, Aqua had her adventurer's card checked.

"Oh my…! A Greater Demon?"

There was a ruckus at the guild at that.

"A Greater Demon!"

"Wow, to have taken care of that, as expected of Aqua!"

With a proud look on her face, Aqua said, "As a celebration for defeating a Greater Demon, I shall perform my greatest acts!"

What? What is she doing?

Everyone's eyes were glued on her.

"Well, look at this cup. I'll put it on top of my head. Next, this seed." She flicked it into the cup. "Now, something amazing is happening! The seed's absorbing the water and sprouting…"

I looked away and back to the counter lady, who seemed to be watching as well!?

When I looked back, Aqua was holding a cup with a plant in it!

"Aqua-sama, one more time! I'm willing to pay for it, so could you perform Nature's Beauty once more?"

"Fool, Aqua-san prefers food instead of money! Right, Aqua-san? I'll treat you to a meal, so please do Nature's Beauty again!"

…

I looked away from the idiots to see the counter lady looking sheepish.

"Sorry about that," she said. "For defeating a Greater Demon, your party is given a reward of 10 million Eris!"

Oh my god!

That's like, 100,000 dollars!

Or less than that, anyway.

After that, we decided to have a party at my place.

Buying a whole bunch of vegetables and meats, we set out to cooking on the stove at home, but I didn't expect the vegetables needing to be pinned down and killed!

"You don't eat vegetables much, Jaedin? It's well-known that the best vegetables are the ones freshest killed," Megumin said in an apron.

"Yeah, yeah, they just don't do that where I come from, is all…"

"Oh, where do you come from, Jaedin?" Yunyun asked from beside me.

"I come from Los Angeles, a place very far away from here," I decide to say.

"Huh, never heard of that place. It must be very far if even a Crimson Demon of my caliber hasn't heard of it! By the way… why are we cooking when we can eat out?" Megumin asked.

"A very good question, Megumin. It is to go back to our roots and realizer that, even if we are rich for now, we need to be prudent with our meals."

"But we could just earn more money easily."

"True. How about that I wanted to try learning cooking? Never learned how to where I came from."

"Wouldn't a class be better for that sort of thing?" Yunyun asked a reasonable question.

"Hmmm, I felt that it would be best with my new party, after we just killed a Greater Demon."

"You mean, after I killed a greater Demon!" Aqua said over from the table. She was drinking away from a bottle of wine we bought after getting our reward.

"Yes, yes." I said. "We might as well do some bonding time."

"Like, with friends?" Yunyun asked with a voice full of hope, her eyes shining.

"Yes, yes…. Oi, be careful with that knife Yunyun! Don't go so fast!"

She cut herself.

"Aqua, we've got a casualty here!"

"Heal!"

"I-I'm still alive, Jaedin. I'm not a casualty!"

"It was a joke, a joke!"

......

"So for the short-term, we're pretty much fine for now. What should we do from here on out?"

I ask the rest of the team.

Currently, we were eating from some brand new plates we bought on the way home.

"Defeat even stronger enemies!" Megumin said.

"We should keep killing enemies to level up," Yunyun chimed in.

"Recruit another person who can handle defense!" Aqua surprisingly said. "Why's everyone looking at me?"

"A-anyway, since we can't use Megumin's Explosions for dungeons, it should be better for us to not take on dungeons for the time being…" I say.

"Ah, that's right. Steven is an Assassin, right? Would you have skills from the thief class for dungeons, anyway?"

"Yeah," I confirm. "Since it's the attack-oriented branch-off of the Thief class, I have some thief skills."

Though a maxed out Steal and Sneak I did not expect. Must be the jumpchain perks.

……

The next day while we were looking for quests to take, a blonde in white armor came up to us.

"Hello there, were you the ones that put up a recruitment poster?" She asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, we are."

"Splendid. I would like to join your party. I have heard of your many exploits, about your slime play…"

Slime play?

"What class are you?" I ask the person who I was sure was Darkness.

"Crusader," she said.

"She is worthy!" Aqua declared.

"Welcome to the party. I better take down that poster now…"

And so, Darkness joined us, though for some odd reason?

We only came back from the frogs soaked in slime once!

Did rumor about me spread so much?

"I am the greatest Archmage to live, Megumin!"

"I am the future chief to the Crimson Demons, Yunyun!"

Megumin and Yunyun introduced themselves to Darkness.

"I am Darkness," the noble replied.

"And I am Aqua, a sacred Archpriest!"

"Jaedin, an Assassin."

Well, that went well.

……

"More… I can handle more!"

Goddamnit she's going to get herself killed!

Darkness was surrounded by frogs after spamming Decoy. And as soon as there were enough frogs, Yunyun was use her fireball on the ones in front, while I would Assassinate the ones from behind!

Easy peasy!

Over the past few days, we would go out and kill some monsters. Nothing too hard, despite Megumin's and Darkness's protests.

And then… came the dreaded day.

……

We were breakfast in the guild when it happened.

"Alert! Alert! All adventurers are requested to head over to the City Gates! I repeat…"

"Oh, it's cabbage harvesting season!" Darkness said joyfully.

Oh yeah, huh? Hopefully I get a lot of top grade ones.

We armed ourselves, and quickly went to the city gates, baskets in tow.

We saw many other adventurers around, looking up at a dark smudge in the sky that was coming closer and closer.

I heard it before I saw it, the loud shrilling cries of [Cabbage! Cabbage! Cabbage!]

It felt surreal, and I couldn't see it from here, but in the distance, was a literal horde of cabbages.

"Everyone, it's time to harvest cabbages! The quality's great this year and each one's worth 10,000 eris! We've already evacuated the residents so please harvest more cabbages and turn them in here! Please take care of your own safety and don't get hurt from the cabbages' counterattack! Also, because of the large amount of people and bounty, the reward will be given out later!"

Someone announced.

Some of the monstrosities already came into town, green cabbages bouncing to and fro.

"Alright, let's do thing, everyone! Aqua, cast buffs on us all!"

"Haste!"

"Everyone, try to get as many as you can!" As I said that, I pulled out my sword and dagger and rushed into the horde of cabbages with a basket hanging on each arm.

I sliced and diced, and collected a few, then I went back to turn them in.

When I looked back, I could see Darkness being hit by a numerous amount of cabbages. I could also hear her moans of ecstasy from being hit.

And then I saw that there was an Explosion. Oh boy, I better help Megumin with that bunch since she'll be out.

I rush over to the area of the explosion and see Megumin on the floor. I pick up the fallen girl and proceed to collect the cabbages she didn't incinerate into nothing.

"Thank you." "No problem."

She kept silent while on my back. Hmm? Say something, please!

Awkwardly killing and collecting the cabbages with Megumin on my back, I notice Yunyun's Light of Saber!

Uwah, so she finally managed to get it!

I'll definitely bully you later for not telling us!

……

We were told we would get our rewards later in the week, since they had to calculate everyone's wages.

Still, we were relatively rich, so I and the rest decided to eat their cabbage dishes.

Fried cabbage, boiled cabbage, cabbage with fried frog meat, loads of cabbage dishes were on the table.

Along with drinks, of course.

I was wary of letting Megumin and Yunyun drink at first, but Aqua told me:

"There is no legal age for drinking. But if you purchase some as a good job for them…"

I looked at the puppy-dog eyes Megumin was making. They weren't that good.

Yunyun didn't seem to care, and Darkness looked curious as to what I was going to do.

Then I decided.

"Just a little."

"Yay!" Megumin cheered.

"One cup, Megumin. You don't want to lose your way back home, after all."

"Aww…"

"Jaedin, I can't believe you would allow people so young to drink!" Darkness said.

I shrugged. Before I would have cared, but… this world is full of dangers, you know?

"Today is for a job well done. Now, Yunyun, you didn't tell us that you finally learned Advanced magic…"

"Eh?" She said when all our stares went to her. "Well, umm…"

She fidgeted under our gazes. "I wanted it to be a surprise!" She managed out.

"You should have learned Explosion magic! Next time, you must definitely learn Explosion!"

"Eh? But I don't want to become useless…"

"Who're you calling useless!?"

Ah, I look on as Megumin and Yunyun argue with each other.

"Still, nice job holding down the fort, Darkness. Though your armor did get damaged…"

"Ah, it was no problem, Jaedin. It was the right thing to do, after all!" She replied.

"Hmm? What about me? Me?" Aqua asked, taking a swig from her jar of wine.

"Hmm… passing marks, Aqua."

"What!? Why!?"

"Because I've seen you drinking too much with the other guild members! Don't start racking up a debt now, you hear…?"

Seriously!

Debts are bad!

"W-wha! That has nothing to do with how well we did against the cabbages!"

"Well," I started saying. "You did help us out with those buffs, and you managed to grab a few cabbages, so good job Aqua!"

"I somehow get the feeling you're not really praising me…"

 

[Drey]

Did you know that as a God of Swordsmanship, my skill is godlike?

Yes, now I did.

My moves flow into each other like water, but I can easily flicker the weapon as if mimicking the wind.

But, in attaining the pinnacle of swordsmanship, am I sated?

…

Not really.

I haven't earned it myself, after all.

……

"Darkness, you're surprisingly slim."

Today was an off day, so we just met up and talked to each other.

While Megumin protested at off days and would drag me out to carry her back to town after using her Explosion spell, Yunyun was elated at spending time talking about nothing.

Even though Megumin huffed at not going out and doing quests, she still brought her familiar along to play.

A small black hellcat named Chomusuke.

Darkness would regale us of her stories of her adventures with a friend of hers, Chris.

Why, just the other day before she joined our party she and Chris took on a Demon in the forest! They didn't kill him, though.

And Aqua was drinking.

A lot.

"Alright, that's enough Aqua."

"Wait! Wait! Just this last one! Please!"

One time we talked about our roles in the party.

"As an Assassin, I deal high damage sneakily. That's basically it. I can also evade the enemy pretty well due to my Evade. My Steal is pretty good too. My Sword Mastery is maxed out. I'm confident in my Sneak."

That summed up my capabilities.

"My skills are centered around Physical Defense, Magical Resistance and Abnormal Status Resistance. I also have a skill called Decoy that's used to taunt the enemy," Darkness said to us.

Hmm? Don't Crusaders also get a sword mastery?

"Don't you have a sword mastery? Like One-handed Sword or Two-Handed Sword?" I asked.

"I don't. And I don't plan on learning them. It may sound like I'm bragging, but my stamina and strength are great. If my attacks would land easily, I could easily defeat monsters without taking damage. That's no good. The best scenario is: I attack with all my might but don't hit the enemy and am captured as my strength wanes."

"Next, Megumin."

What the hell Darkness!

Megumin tilted her head and said, "I leaned explosion-related skills. Explosion, Explosion Damage Increase, Fast Chanting, etcetera. All the skills needed to cast the perfect explosion spell. That's the way it has been and always will be."

… of course.

"Aqua?"

"Of course, I've learned all the Archpriest skills I could after learning all the Party Tricks!"

Why is she the one with skills appropriate for her class?

Wait, no. There's still one more!

I look at her and say, "Yunyun?"

"Ah, I have Basic Magic, Intermediate Magic, and Advanced Magic! I've also recently learned Teleport!"

"You should learn from her."

Ah, I said it without thinking.

"W-what do you mean! I'll have you know I was at the top of my class back in the Crimson Demon Village!"

"I won't have you insult my way of life! Heheh…"

Megumin retorted like so, and Darkness seems to have made a misunderstanding with my words.

"Hey, hey! I actually have Archpriest skills! Don't forget I was the one who killed the Greater Demon!"
"Yes, yes…" I headpatted Aqua, who looked surprised at the gesture, before she leaned into it.

Eh? She likes headpats?

I just thought she was a slovenly goddess who liked to drink but you learn something new every day huh.

……

When Megumin and I went out to let her cast her Explosion, I asked Yunyun to come along.

"Explosion!"

And so a poor derelict castle was hit and destroyed.

"80."

"No, that should be at least a 90! Didn't you see how it did more damage than it should have?"

"Eh? I don't understand?"

"Ah, Yunyun, could you register this point for Teleportation? It'd really help a lot," I ask our reliable Archmage.

"Ah, well… If Jaedin asks, then I will!"

Good.

I walked back to the town, with Megumin in tow and Yunyun walking besides me.

"So, the two of you are from the Crimson Demons huh?"
"Yes! Megumin and I were the top students in our class!" Yunyun cheerfully answered.

"Magical theory, right?"

"Yep! Along with some history of the surrounding countries!"

"So you two haven't seen much other than your village?"

"Oh, there was Alcanretia! Though… I wouldn't recommend it." Yunyun had a complex look on her face.

"Oh? Why?"

"Axis Cult," Megumin said from my back.

"Oh."

……

When we got our bounties for the Cabbage quest, everyone decided to upgrade their equipment.

Megumin got herself a new manatite staff, which would increase the power of the user's spells greater than other staffs and was hugging and grinding against the staff.

I'd say it looked lewd, but it's hard to not see her as a kid who's hugging their new toy.

Look, Yunyun bought a new staff as well but she's not molesting it! Learn from Yunyun, Megumin!

Darkness happily showed everyone her new armor, asking "How does it look?"

"Looks good and hard."

I think I failed to compliment.

Oh well, they can spend their money on what they like.

We decided to collect our own bounties instead of splitting it.

This was to the suggestion of Aqua, whose harvest was quite large.

Unfortunately…

Most of her harvest was of lettuce, not cabbage!

So, she only earned about 50,000 Eris.

"Jae~din, please lend me some money!"

She approached me with a smile, asking a ridiculous request.

"How much?" I decide to ask.

After all, I earned a little over 3 million from my bounty.

"50,000, please!"

That's half of what I came to this world with. What the hell happened to her share of 250,000 from the Demon?

I gave her 5 gold coins.

"Thank you, Jaedin-sama!"

I know she's being insincere, but whatever…

……

"Jaedin! Let's hurry and find a quest! I want to test the power of my new staff!" Megumin said.

"One that earns lots of money! I cleared my tabs, so I don't even have money for food today!"

"Aqua, we have food at home, what are you talking about…"

"Food and drink!"

"Damn it Aqua, don't become an alcoholic!"

Your vices are going to lead you to ruin!

"Let's find one with strong enemies! One with monsters that have strong attacks and are tough as nails…!"

"Umm, I'm okay as long as we're all together…"

Darkness and Yunyun chime in with their thoughts as well.

"Let's look at the quest board first, yeah?"

With that, we went over to the quest board to see…

Only a few requests.

And they're all monsters that look to be high-difficulty!

A staff member came to us as we looked at the board filled with quests above our levels.

"I'm sorry… A Demon King's General seemed to have moved into a small castle near town… It might've been the influence of the general, but the weak monsters in the region have all lain low, resulting in a drastic drop in quests. A band of knights dispatched from the capital will be here next month to take out the general. But before that, there are only high-difficulty quests left…"

Aqua screamed at his words.

"Why-!?"

Then she started grumbling as she started to look through the employment magazine.

I sigh. "Aqua, there's food at the Warehouse, you know?"

She paused at my reminder, and I could see the gears turning in her head as she debated with herself.

Work and get booze, or not work?

That is the question she was debating with herself.

"… It will be hard, but I'll be back one day, my wine…"

She said to herself, a single tear falling from her eyes.

…

……

And so, every day for the next week Yunyun, Megumin and I would go and let her cast Explosion on that abandoned castle. Yunyun's Teleport was especially helpful in saving time.

We would rate her explosions by our 'feeling', since we didn't really have a system to rate them.

Why would we rate them?

Because I started to rate them out of 100 when I remembered that Kazuma did it for some reason. Was it that he liked explosions or something?

With no quests available, Aqua started to stay at home or in the Warehouse. Megumin and Yunyun would come over to play as well, and we would talk about everyday things.

As for Darkness, she went back to her family home to train for a few days.

Though recently, she came back and we were just hanging around at my place. More specifically, my Warehouse.

Hmm. Don't you guys have your own homes?

I understand that my Warehouse's air conditioning is superb, and we could just eat from the food dispenser, but you can hang out at your own places, right?

……

During the week, we visited a shop we heard was operated by a high level retired adventurer.

When we came into the shop, there were loads of magic items and potions on the shelves!

And of course I had to grab Aqua from taking ahold of them.

"Let me go! I want to see what they do!"

"No Aqua, you're already broke. I don't need you in debt from paying for anything you break!"

"Don't worry! I won't break anything!"

"As if I'll believe that!"

And such.

"Wow, this manatite staff is really high quality!"

"But it's too expensive, Megumin…"

"Welcome to Wiz's Magic Item Shop!"

The storekeeper said.

She was a brunette with long hair and purple clothes.

Hmm…

Wiz looks pretty hot in real life, not gonna lie.

But she's a Lich.

And Aqua immediately noticed it.

"Ahhh!? A damn undead! A Lich like you dares to set up a shop here? I'll exorcise you! Turn Undead!"

A white light encompassed the entire shop with Aqua in the middle, seemingly gushing forth from her body.

""Hya–! Stop, please stop! My body's disappearing!"

"Ha, foolish lich! Your existence goes against the law of nature, an undead which defies the will of the gods! Disappear, be vanquished by my power!"

I hit the back of Aqua's head and grabbed her, shaking her.

"Hey, hey, stop that. We're here to buy items, not kill the owner."

"What are you doing Jaedin!? She's a Lich, a Lich!"

Aqua started getting riled up.

Hah? Aren't you supposed to be a member of My Party? That means, you listen to me, right?

Do I have to train her?

"Ah, even though I am a Lich, I have never attacked a human and opened a store here! And I don't want to die, so please don't use Turn Undead on me!"

So she said.

"A lich… I see. So, the high level retired adventurer was her."

"W-well, it'd be bad to kill the shop owner, wouldn't it?"

Megumin and Yunyun said.

"Even though she is a lich… she had never attacked anyone before. We can… let her off, I suppose."

Even Darkness didn't want to kill the shop owner! In a way.

Though I shouldn't touch her, since I'm a Fallen Goddess as well.

……

"Ooooh! Look at this!"

"The highest Quality Manatite Staff! But that price…"

Megumin and Yunyun were looking at the staffs for sale.

"… Hey, doesn't this shop know how to serve tea?"

"Ah, sorry!! I'll bring it now!"

"I don't think tea is supposed to be served in a shop like this…"

Darkness was on Aqua duty for the time being, hopefully she can stop Aqua from bullying Wiz.

As for me?

I was looking at the swords she had for sale.

Quite frankly, that they cost a few million each hurt my soul when I thought about buying them, but I needed a better sword, right?

And if I get a greatsword… An assassin using a Greatsword.

…

It's alright. In the first place, I wanted the Sword Master class!

So, while looking at a decent-looking Greatsword with symbols all over it, Wiz seemed to have noticed my interest and said, "Ah, that's a sword that I highly recommend! Layered with magic-cutting and Strength and Agility Increase Enchantments, it's only 10 million Eris!"

What the fuck!

I don't have that much money!

That's like saying, 'here's a cool sword, it's only 100,000 dollars! Wanna buy it?'

How ridiculous is the Strength and Agility increase though, that it's 10 million Eris?

But, still. Way too much!

Then Megumin and Yunyun came over, the two of them looking haggard.

"Everything is so pricy… or useless!"

"A paralytic potion that increases the strength and range of Paralyze… It sounds useful at first, but the Megumin told me it would affect the caster as well…"

The two of them were disillusioned with the shop.

Well, if we ever get rich, we can go here for some end-game items, I guess?

……

One day, we ran into Mitsurugi Kyouya, who challenged me for Aqua, for only having a house for Aqua instead of a grand mansion.

Of course, I accepted and immediately stole his sword.

Then I beat him up with it.

…

My house is perfectly fine.

A/N: I'm far ahead in my writing, but I don't even want to reread my work.

 

[Drey]

"So, Aqua, understand? This is what we call a budget!"

I said to the blue-haired goddess, who had glazed eyes while looking at the chart I wrote up.

Then she snapped out of her funk and said to me:

"I'm broke anyway, so it doesn't matter. I have a home here with food and water, so it doesn't matter! All I need is wine!"

I ponder on that. Right. She really doesn't need to pay for anything other than wine and the occasional time when we would eat out.

Hmm…

"Still, it's good to pace yourself, or you'll end up broke like now with no money for drinks."

"Guh!"

Darkness who was on the couch nodded at my words. "That's right, that's right. It's good to have a budget so you can keep track of your available funds…"

"Emergency broadcast! Emergency broadcast! Attention all adventurers, please prepare for combat and report to the main gate of the city!"

After hearing the broadcast, we put on our gear and rushed to the main gate from my house.

As we arrived at the main gate with many other adventurers, that's when we saw it.

A Dullahan.

A powerful undead.

The knight in broken black armor was standing at the front gate, holding his head with his left arm. Holding out its head, it spoke.

And from the head, a gravelly voice spoke, "I am a Demon King's General, and have recently moved into a castle nearby…"

As he spoke, his body started shaking while holding the head.

"Every day, every day, every day! Where is that crazy idiot who comes to my castle to cast Explosion every day–!?"

The adventurers around were confused.

Explosion magic?

Who's high levelled enough to use that?

Such were questions that they asked each other.

I looked at Megumin, who started sweating.

Eventually, she started to walk forward.

The adventurers reacted to her movement and opened a path to the Dullahan.

I and the rest of the party followed behind Megumin.

And when the Dullahan saw her in front of the crowd, he said,

"So, it's you! Are you the moron who keeps casting Explosion on my castle every day? If you wanted to challenge me to a fight, then enter the castle! If not, then hide in the town and tremble! I knew there were only low-level adventurers in town! I wanted to leave such weaklings alone, but you can't catch a clue and come boom, boom, boom with your spells every day…! Is there something wrong with your head?"

As he spoke, the body and helmet of the Dullahan trembled with rage.

I could see Megumin tremble a little, but she still flicked her cape, and said, "I'm Megumin. As an Archmage, I have mastered explosion spells!"

"What kind of name is Megumin, are you mocking me?"

"No, I am not! I am a Crimson Demon, and the elite mage of this town. I casted explosion magic continuously to lure you, the Demon King's General, out…! As I planned, you came to town alone after being tricked; your end is near!"

Megumin voice got louder and louder as she said her ridiculous declaration.

"Hey, Aqua, can you spam Sacred Turn Undead on the Dullahan? I'll get in close and attack him."

"How wicked, attacking while it's talking! As expected of an Assassin! And an undead deserves no better than to die in such a way!"

Hey, Aqua. Don't misunderstand.

Then, she walked up to the side of Megumin and everyone looked at her, wondering what she was going to say.

I hope they were disappointed.

"Puhuhu! To be startled by a bunch of rookies! As expected of the Demon King's General, a mere undead. You are too arrogant! Turn Undead!"

She waved her hands and a white light came out from Aqua's hand.

The Dullahan stood still, standing proud and tall, saying, "You think a Demon King's General wouldn't be prepared to fight priests? Too bad. Including me, all the undead knights in this band have received the protection of the Demon King. We have a very high resistance against holy spells- Ahhhhhh–!"

When he was surrounded by a white light, black smoke started emerging from the Dullahan, and he started to shake in an effort to keep standing.

Aqua turned back to me and said:

"Hey, hey Jaedin! This is strange, it's not working!"

Keep on spamming it, idiot! And use the Sacred Version, I said!

The Dullahan took unsteady steps and said, "Wait for me to finish! I am a Demon King's General, Dullahan Beldia! With this armour that was enchanted by the Demon King and my own powers, Turn Undead from a normal priest won't work on me! It shouldn't work at all, but this armor was damaged on the way here…"

So it's his armor! I'll Steal it!

"Aqua, keep on using Sacred Turn Undead on him! It's working!"

"Eh? It doesn't look like it but… Ah, I'll do it! Sacred Turn Undead!"

A white circle appeared from below the Dullahan, and he was surrounded in a white light, screaming from the pain.

I used Flash Step to get in close, and cried out, "Steal!"

What appeared in my hands was the armor of the Dullahan!

Without his armor, he was just a bigger skeleton.

With a few more Sacred Turn Undead spells, he was exorcised.

Boss Battle, End!

……

We earned 300 million Eris.

The guild decided to award it to my party, since it was Aqua and I who did the most work.

Still…

"Rich! We're rich!"

Aqua's shouts broke us out of our stupor.

The adventurer's in the guild were in a clamor.

"Hey, hey, why not pay for all our drinks to celebrate!"

"Woah–! Jaedin-sama, treat us! Treat us–!"

…

I'm not that close with the people here anyway, so why would I treat you guys?

No, seriously. I don't interact much with everyone here.

I took the 5 bags of millions of Eris that looked to be the same, and gave them to the rest of the party, one by one.

Megumin and Yunyun were in awe of how much we made, though Darkness looked nostalgic for some reason.

I threw my bag into my Warehouse for later.

And Aqua…

"Woohoo! I'm gonna drink all night!"

I'll let her have her fun for one night, I guess.

……

"Urgh…"

"You shouldn't have drunk so much last night…"

I pat and rub the back of Aqua who's currently feeling like shit.

She got plastered last night! What an irresponsible goddess.

"Worth it…"

"Right, right… Gonna have to put a cap on your drinking habits."

"No…!"

I tried to drink a bit as well, but I surprisingly didn't get drunk. Odd, since I was younger and got tipsy after a few cups in my original world.

After some thinking, I realized that it was because I was a Fallen God of Anti-Poison.

So I can't get drunk!

Nai wa.

Anyway, last night, Darkness asked an important question.

"So, we have enough money to purchase a house now, right?"

"I already have a house, though?"

I said, to the nods of the other girls.

"No, well, I mean. To live in the same house as a man is… Hehehe, you'd have us live underm you for a fee, charging rent. And when we can't pay, you'll say 'You'll have to pay with your body, then…!"

I pause at that. Would I really do that?

"It doesn't seem like Jaedin to that, does it?" Yunyun said.

"He has no ulterior motives. It's just her imagination," Megumin stated.

Where was Aqua?

Drinking with her drinking friends.

"Well, it's not like there isn't room for you girls," I say. "After all, I do have an extra home in my Warehouse, and the food dispenser can bring out 5 people's worth of food at a time."

"Wait, 5 people's worth!?" Megumin shouted.

"Yeah, it usually takes the form of the food around here, so…"

"What a waste of food. I'll live over there from now on to make sure at least another portion is eaten!" Megumin declared. "It saves me money instead of renting too."

Ah, she lived her life poor, didn't she? Memories of details about Megumin eating whatever she could and surviving off Yunyun's lunches came to mind.

"It's not like he'll do anything as well. He seems trustworthy!" Yunyun chimed in.

"That's a shame…"

"Sure. More people at the home means more fun."

I was surprised at their willingness to live under the same roof as a guy, but it seems that they spent quite a bit on lodging and food.

And since I had free food at home with a big enough house…

I let them live in the house. There were 6 bedrooms anyway.

"Mind if we add a few shelves to this place with books?" Megumin asked.

"A few plants as well. It should liven up the place now that Winter's coming!" Yunyun chimed in.

……

When Winter came, all the quests disappeared.

Only high-ranking targets were left!

We were rich anyway, so it didn't matter to us.

So, lounging away in our house, the days idly passed by with us doing nothing but play board games and talk and live.

......

We could finally buy some of the high tier items from Wiz's shop.

Of course, they were items without demerits!

Thanks to that, they were millions of Eris though…

I got myself a short sword I'll call Zenith. It increases Agility greatly and could cut magic, along with a self-repairing function. Only 20 million Eris!

I also got pretty big crystals of Manatite worth 10 million Eris each and stuffed them inside my Warehouse.

This was preparation for when we would attack the Demon King's castle!

And so, we were lounging around. It was a few weeks into Winter and everyone got used to living with each other.

Or rather, me.

The bathroom in the Warehouse was mine, while the girls would share the one in the other house.

This was not decided by anyone, but was an implicit agreement.

However, everyone preferred my Warehouse's house.

Why?

"Ah…! So warm!"

"They should have these in Belzerg too…"

Because of the heater.

……

But, one day,

"Destroyer alert! Destroyer alert! The mobile fortress Destroyer is approaching this town! All adventurers please prepare for combat and report to the adventurer's guild! The citizens in town, please evacuate immediately–!"

While we were lazing around, such a message rang out from the guild.

"We need to run! As far away as possible!"

Aqua cried out after realizing something.

Megumin and Yunyun, who had already packed their bags, were sipping on tea.

"There's no point in panicking now. Since everything including our home will be lost, we might as well challenge the Demon King's castle directly."

"Don't say that, Megumin. Jaedin's dimensional home has plenty enough room for all of us!"

"Hey, can't we take it on?"

I ask the girls who seem to have lost their minds.

"Jaedin, the thing approaching the town is renowned for destroying everything except devotees of the Axis Cult. The ultimate bounty target, the Mobile Fortress Destroyer. Fighting it would be reckless."

"Hey, what are you saying about my children!? Take that back!"

Aqua shrieked at the knowledgeable Megumin.

Still…

"Can't Megumin's Explosion take care of it?"

"It won't work, the Destroyer has a powerful magic barrier. It'd have no problems blocking a couple of explosion spells."

She immediately denied my suggestion.

"What about Break Spell?" That was a skill Archpriests had, right?

In response to that, Yunyun said, "Ah, for such a powerful magic barrier, you'd need extremely strong Break Spells to get rid of the barrier."

I looked at the Aqua who was still shaking the blank-faced Megumin.

"Hey, Aqua, can you use Sacred Break Spell?" I ask.

"Hah? What are you talking about? Of course I can! I'm a goddess after all!"

"I've never seen such a deplorable goddess."

Ouch, Megumin.

"There we go, then. Where's Darkness?"

I don't see her around. Is she sleeping?

"She went back to her room."

"Sorry for making you wait!" Darkness came in just as we were talking about her, all garbed up in heavy armor I haven't seen her use before.

Must be new.

"Yeah, yeah, let's get ready and go."

……

When we got to the guild, it was filled with adventurers in surprisingly sturdy-looking armor.

And after many adventurers arrived, they started their announcement.

"Thank you everyone for responding to the emergency announcement today! We'll now start the emergency quest to repel the Destroyer. There are no level or job restrictions, so we hope everyone will take part. When the guild judges the quest to be a failure, we'll abandon the entire town and escape together. All of you here are the last line of defense for the town. We're counting on you!"

The staff member loudly announced inside the noisy guild hall.

After that, the staff member pushed the tables in the bar section into the middle of the guild, setting up a temporary conference room.

"Well then, everyone, we'll start the emergency war council. Please take a seat!"

There were several hundred people here, and the air seemed tense. It doesn't really affect me, though. I already have a plan!

After they explained to us what the Mobile Fortress Destroyer was, they asked for suggestions.

Some suggestions were shot down since they've been implemented before… like a pitfall trap. It jumped out of it.

Some more suggestions were raised and shot down, and when the nth one was shot down, I decided to make myself known!

"Our Archpriest's Sacred Break Spell may be able to work, and bring down the magic barrier, then our Archmage could bring it down with Explosion…"

The adventurers got rowdy at a plan that might actually work, but then Megumin said,

"Even with my explosion spell, I might not be able to finish it off in one shot…"

Hmm? Don't I have a few giant pieces of Manatite?

Just as I was about to say that, someone barged in.

"Sorry I'm late…! I'm the owner of the magic item shop, Wiz. Technically, I'm an adventurer, please let me help too…"

Wiz entered the guild.

"It's the shop owner!"

"The shop owner is here! We'll win! We'll definitely win!"

Such were the words people cried out when they saw her.

The plan continued to form, having Aqua break the barrier with Break Spell, then with Wiz and Megumin using explosion on the legs of the Destroyer, one side for each of them.

The rest of the adventurers will attack the Destroyer and try to board it.

Hmm… I'll ask Wiz to register the town as a Teleportation point, so Yunyun and her could get out of the range of the exploding core quickly.

……

In front of the town, a temprorary barricade was constructed.

For some reason, Darkness was standing in front of the barricade, resolute in standing there!

"Please, Darkness, even if you are a masochist, isn't this too much?"

"Jaedin… Do you really think I'm a woman who would be lost in my own desires even in such an emergency?"

"Yes.

She paused at that, then continued.

"I'm a Crusader. I also have other reasons compelling me to protect this town. I might share that reason with you one of these days."

Ah, right.

Lalatina.

I couldn't manage to convince her to move away.

……

"Attention all adventurers, the Mobile Fortress Destroyer is about to appear before us. Citizens, please evacuate the town! Adventurers, please get ready for battle!"

The guild member's announcement rang throughout the town once more.

Actually, shouldn't the citizens have evacuated by now? It has been a while since the first announcement after all…

But man, the thing was huge! And fast!

It was like a giant spider, its body reaching high above the trees.

"He Wiz!" I hear Aqua say. "It'll work, right? Right!?"

"No problem, Aqua-sama. I'm a lich, one of the top-tier undead. If you can dispel the barrier, you can leave the rest to me! If we fail… we can return to dust happily together."

"You're joking right? Please tell me you're joking!" Aqua shrieked.

Megumin was a shivering wreck as well.

Sometimes I forget that this was a beginner's town.

When I saw it nearing the spell range of Break Spell, I got ready to command Aqua with the voice-amplifying magic item I was given to coordinate Aqua and Megumin as their party leader!

When it got into the zone range,

"Aqua! Now!"

"Sacred Break Spell!"

Complicated magic formations floated around Aqua and a white ball appeared in her hands, which she shot out towards the Destroyer.

When the flying ball of light touched the Destroyer, a giant membrane appeared on its surface to resist the ball of light, but it shattered into pieces like glass shards.

The membrane was probably the magic barrier.

"Alright, Wiz, take out the legs on your side! Megumin, don't lose to Wiz and blow up the ones on your side as well!"

I noticed she was still really nervous, so I tried to rile her up!

"Lose!? As if I'll lose in the area of Explosions!"

The two chanted out their spells, and used their Explosion magic on the Mobile Fortress Destroyer!

""Explosion!""

The legs of the mobile fortress were destroyed, and the ball-like center of the target crashed into the ground.

It slid towards the town, stopping right before Darkness.

The legs shattered into bits with the sound of explosions and rained down onto the heads of the adventurers, but on Wiz's side, there was nothing raining down.

So Megumin lost.

"Ugh… As expected of a lich. My level isn't high enough to win against Wiz's explosion magic…"

I carried her over to a tree and laid her against it. Yunyun and Aqua came over but Darkness was staring at the Destroyer in front of her still.

Then there was a tremor, and the Destroyer sounded out.

"This machine has stopped operation. This machine has stopped operation. Unable to expend unused energy and vent heat. Operators, please evacuate from the machine. This machine has…"

It kept on repeating its announcement, so I called over all the adventurers around and said, "I think it'll explode if this goes on."

Which is really bad, because Darkness wouldn't move away from her spot even if that was the case! Over the Winter, this team has gotten close to each other and I don't want to see anyone die!

"That shop has been taking care of us with its low prices, if we don't repay them back now, there won't be a next time!"

For various reasons, the adventurers wanted to take on the fortress.

So, the archers used Snipe with arrows connected to ropes, and we climbed up the ropes to get onto the Mobile Fortress Destroyer's deck.

On there, we destroyed the Golems and went into the main room, where Aqua read out the maker's diary…

What a guy, destroying his own home in such a ridiculous way, with no regrets, even.

After that, left in the room were Aqua, Wiz, me, and Yunyun since there were too many people.

I told her we would need her help, so she happily came over.

The ore powering the Destroyer was stuck inside middle of the room, surrounded by a steel fence.

It kept on emitting a blinking red light.

Hmm, how to get it out…?

Oh, I know!

In a grabbing motion, I waved at the ore, and said, "Steal!"

It appeared in my hand.

And it was still burning.

"Hot—!"

"Freeze! Freeze!"

I dropped the ore and Wiz helped me cool down my arm.

Whew. It felt like it was going to melt off, you know?

The ore was frozen but started to emit red blinking lights even faster!

It was going to explode!

"Alright, this will be the plan. Yunyun, could you teleport the ore to the abandoned castle?"

Her eyes widened in realization. "Oh! Yes! I'll do that right now!"

"Teleport!"

And the ore that was going to explode was teleported to the area where we usually go to let Megumin use Explosion.

……

Well, since it looked over, I went to Darkness and told her. "Hey, it's over now. Let's go home."

"No," she said. "It's not over yet. I can still feel something from the Destroyer. It's still a threat!"

At that,, the fortress trembled with a loud jerk.

Wiz quickly came to a conclusion.

"What, what should we do!? It's probably the heat accumulated inside being vented! I can't teleport something so big! And look at the front of the Destroyer, there's a crack due to the power of the explosion spell, right? Heat's escaping from there! If this continues, the heat will spray into the town…"

"I don't want to hear this! Jaedin–! Quick, think of something–!"

Umm…

"Ma-Mana! Can someone share some mana with me! If I cast an explosion spell at that crack, it would neutralize the impact!"

I grab Wiz over and tell her, "I've got some high-quality Manatite, so you could absorb mana from there instead of revealing your identity."

"Thank you!"

I hand over a large piece of high-quality Manatite and she absorbed the mana from it.

And so, aiming at the empty Destroyer, she aimed at the crack and chanted.

"Explosion!"

A/N:
"This is just me saying stuff, but my weakness is the little sister type rather than big sisters."

"Eh? Wouldn't Megumin be your type then?"

"I'm not a lolicon."

"Return all to dust, this power that exceeds all that the world can offer...!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

 

[Drey]

Hmm.

We all got a reward for defeating the Mobile Fortress Destroyer, but, you know.

These days continue to go on idly by.

Then there was in incident where mysterious monsters were coming out of Keele's Dungeon.

By the way, Keele was a great magician who was in love with a noble, but could never be with her due to their differing statuses. When he became a great magician, he asked for a wish…

Some say that he took the princess and hid in a dungeon, which is the one called Keele's dungeon.

We went in there once and Aqua had to exorcise a Lich, but it went well.

So, we decided to help out.

The goal: defeat the maker of the strange monsters that would grab onto people and explode!

Megumin wouldn't be coming in with us since her Explosion magic would bring down the dungeon.

There were many adventurers who came with us, but…

"Look, Jaedin! I can hit them! I can hit them!"

Darkness could take on every one of the dolls and take no damage.

And so, our team of four managed to get away from the rest of the group because they were bogged down by those strange masked monsters.

"Hey, Jaedin, shouldn't we wait for them…?"

"Not really. The faster we take care of this, the faster we can go back home and rest."

In the end…

A demonic mask had possessed Darkness, the true identity of the demon being a member of the Demon King's army.

In the end, Megumin had to use Explosion on Darkness, outside of course, and all's well that ends well!

We even got another bounty for killing another Demon General! So we decided to use some of it to decorate and renovate the house.

Except when we saw that irritating devil at Wiz's we found out she was a Demon King's General!

And Vanir was still annoying as hell!

Though, his proposal to let him make money off my ideas and inventions from my original world… it was tempting.

Of course I took the offer! It was 2 million Eris per month!

But, you know, it was pretty quiet after that.

Though it was still cold, when it started to warm up we took on quests when it started to get warmer!

Hmm, what else?

Oh! We celebrated Megumin's and Yunyun's birthdays!

They turned 14.

So yeah.

I think my 18th​ birthday just came and passed, so I ate sweets to celebrate.

I say that, but I eat sweets every day since my body stays healthy and I don't get fatter.

In line with the LN's I decided that we were to go to Alcanretia, where there were hot springs, to rest and relax!

But the moment we stepped in the city, we were bombarded with offers to join the Axis cult.

We went off in pairs, with Aqua and Darkness in one group and Megumin and Yunyun in the other.

As for me? I went with the former, only to see Darkness get berated and treated like dirt.

Of course, she liked it.

Aqua on the other hand…

"Welcome, lost sheep… Come, confess your sins, the goddess will listen to you and grant you compassion…"

And

"Remember this line, 'Eris pads her breasts'.

…

I can't handle this place.

When we went back to the hotel, I tried to go for the mixed baths.

I took off my clothes, and entered the mixed bath.

Then I heard someone talking,

"That damn cult's finally going to be destroyed. The work in destroying the secret hot spring is now complete; the progress in the other hot spring is also proceeding smoothly. Now, we just need to wait. For us who have long lifespans, waiting a decade or two's no big deal."

Uwah. That must be Hans.

The one who was traumatized by the Axis cultists and a poison slime.

The teammate he is talking to is troublesome. Due to my body, I can purify the poison that Hans emits and can probably purify him himself…

So, I retreated, put my clothes back on, and went over to the rest of the group, telling them about someone's plot to destroy the hot springs.

"Eh? Isn't it better if they're destroyed?"

"A-ah, but, that'd be bad for us since they're a defense against the Demon King…"

Megumin and Yunyun said.

"That's right," I said. "So, he was talking to someone else. A collaborator. I think I can Assassinate him safely, but the other one will be troublesome. Since they talked about decades being short, I think they're demons."

"I will go with you! This cannot stand!" Aqua said.

Darkness said, "I will go as well. I may be able to block their collaborator for a short while."

Right… Okay.

So, Aqua, Darkness and I went into the mixed baths. When we got naked before each other Aqua managed to sneak a peak.

"Average…"

"Shut up and be serious."

"Y-yes, Aqua. Be serious!" Darkness whispered.

We could hear them still talking about destroying the baths and about the other generals of the Demon King's army.

So we barged in, and saw a man and a woman in the bath!

The man wasn't in the water; he had a towel around his waist and knelt with one knee beside the woman.

He was tall and well-built, with short brown hair. The woman had large breasts and short red hair.

To be honest, I'm not really into short hair nor red hair, but that's not really important right now.

I smiled and went over to the man. "Hey, I think I've seen you somewhere before? Hans, is that right?"

He looked surprised. "How do you know my name…?"
"Come on!" I clapped and rested my hand on his shoulder. "Don't you remember me?"

He didn't take it well. "Gya…!"

He started yelling, and a white light was eating away at his being where I was touching him.

"I'm being purified…!"

I heard splashes of water and a cry of "Hans!" when he started yelling, but I ignored them in favor of covering the mouth of Hans. I also heard Aqua cry out the names of various spells, but I wasn't sure if they'd work.

I saw him start to turn into slime, but it was useless!

I planned this from the start! As a Fallen God of Anti-Poison, I am your antithesis!

And so, he was purified quietly.

When I finished I looked over to the red-head, and Aqua and Darkness who were restraining her.

They all had expressions of shock.

"Sorry about that." I scratched the back of my head. "My body has the anti-poison attribute, so when I saw the Poison Slime there, I knew I had to kill it. Okay, Onee-san?"

We can't kill her in a similar manner anyway, so I signaled the others to back off.

I heard Aqua yell out her spells but since they did nothing, there was only Assassination!

Luckily, nobody came when the Poison Slime was dying, so I took out my sword from my Warehouse, Flash Stepped behind Wolbach, and killed her.

She disappeared into bright lights.

I sighed, then asked the two of them.

"Uh, we should take a shower before going in the hot springs, right?"

Their naked bodies laid before my eyes!

Using my skills, I memorized it all.

Umu. Thank you for the meal.

......

"Look, I'm sorry," I say to a disgruntled Aqua and Darkness.

"How embarrassing…!" I could hear Darkness say from the Female side of the baths.

"Uwah. So Jaedin was a pervert. How disappointing."

"Hey, Megumin. No guy would not get excited after seeing two beauties."

"Hehehe, of course I'm a beauty. Of course I'm not ashamed of my body being seen by him. It's perfect in every way!"

Darkness is bigger, Aqua.

"Still," I say. "Thanks for the help back there. I think we just took care of two Demon King's Generals."

"With how easily you took them out?" Darkness asked. "Are you really sure?"

"Well, I backstabbed her with my Assassination, my Critical Hit is affected by my luck, and I have maxed out Sword Mastery."

"Sword Mastery. I heard you have to master many different sword skills before attaining even one level in that… How do you know it?" Darkness asked.

I hummed at that.

"Because I'm a God?" I decide to tell the truth.

"Please, Jaedin, don't start acting like Aqua…"

I was telling the truth, Yunyun.

……

"This is bad. This is bad! A lot of the hot springs are contaminated!"

Said a teary Aqua.

"I checked many of them. At this rate… everyone will get sick and die!"

"Ah, I can purify it since I'm Anti-Poison."

"I can purify it as well! I'm a Goddess of Water, after all!"

So went on the back and forth between me and this goddess.

"Don't your purifications totally ruin the hot springs? If I remember correctly, you got us kicked out of the hot springs because you purified them…"

"T-that was so cruel! I worked so hard for everyone!"

Yeah, she definitely purified them.

Hmm…

I should go and collect the bounty for Hans from this town's Adventurer's Guild.

……

As always, I earned quite a bit of money for defeating two Demon King's Generals.

Haven't 4 of them been defeated by this party already? That's half of them!

Even if I list off the number of how much I earned, it wouldn't matter.

I was truly way too rich.

…

I bought all the Highest grade Manatite in the city.

……

"Fuah, that was great!"

"It was troublesome, but the hot springs really were good until Aqua purified them…"

Megumin and Yunyun commented.

"Waaah! They chased me away, my beloved followers! Waaah!"

"There there…?"

Aqua with Darkness attempting to comfort her.

After that whole fiasco, we decided that it would be better to back home to Axel!

So, back to Axel we go!

……

"Home-!"

"It's 'I'm home!' isn't it?"

Aqua opened the door to our house in high spirits and entered the home we were away from these past few days.

Hmm…

These past few days.

Were they really a vacation?

I mean, I killed two more Demon King's Generals there…

Hah…

For some reason, Aqua was right up in my face, looking like she was really tired.

"What's up with the weird face?"

"I'm just imitating you. Looks just like you, right?"

Motherfucker.

……

Our day went by normally after that, though Yunyun went ahead to collect mail for Megumin and herself.

When she came back, she said something really outrageous to me.

"I want Jaedin's children…!"

I froze, unable to react.

I think everyone did.

"Um. Um. Um. I think it's much too early for that stage, Yunyun… W-we haven't even… uh, gone out yet!"

I started stuttering, unable to form words well.

"Eh? That normally infallible and calm Jaedin is stuttering? Could it be…? His weakness is women!?"

Aqua said something really ridiculous.

Megumin came back to her senses and said, "Yunyun, what are you saying? Do you even know what you are saying?"

I snapped out of it first and took a big breath. This was that event, right?

"Yunyun, what happened?"

"If I don't have Jaedin's children, the world will-! The Demon King will…!" Yunyun shouted through sniffles.

"Right, right." I held up my hands in a placating gesture. "What will happen? Just take a moment and breathe…"

"Jaedin's surprisingly good at this," Darkness commented.

Well, I had to git gud after seeing one of my friends cry in front of me without being able to do anything in my original world.

"The home of the Crimson Demons… is going to disappear!"

……

When she finally calmed down, Yunyun handed us a letter with two pieces of paper inside, which we then read.

The first was sent by Yunyun's father.

In short,

A general of the Demon King's army built a base near the Crimson Demon village with a large number of soldiers.

That general had high magic resistance, they couldn't destroy the military base, and he told Yunyun to not let the bloodline die out.

And, there was a second page!

'– The diviner in the village foresaw the attack of the Demon King's army and a visage of despair for the Crimson Demon village. But that same diviner also saw a glimmer of hope. As the only survivor of the village, Yunyun…'

"Hold on, isn't there another Crimson Demon here?" An agitated Megumin asked.

"Let's ignore that for now!" Yunyun said.

'… As the only survivor of the village, Yunyun hid her goal of defeating the Demon King in her heart and focused on training. Sometime later, she'll meet a certain man in the city of beginners. Reliable and powerful, that man would be her future spouse.'

"And the man you thought of was me? Thank you, Yunyun."

Yunyun blushed when she heard that.

'Time passed in a flash. The child of the survivor of the Crimson Demons and that man was already at the age of youth. Just like his father, he became an adventurer and went on a journey. But that youth still didn't know he would be the one who'll avenge his clansmen and defeat the hated enemy–the Demon King…'

Hey, wait. Wait.

My child?

I'm planning on killing the Demon King myself!

But… if I were to move on from this world without defeating the Demon King, I can see it happening.

In contrast with my calm decision-making, Darkness and Aqua gasped.

"The Crimson Demon village has powerful oracles! Which means that divination is…!"

"Hey, hey, that sounds like it'd take too long. At what age can one be a youth? Is three years okay? If that's no good, then let's pretend that divination doesn't exist!"

Hahaha.

You'll be here for a long time, Aqua.

Looking at the bottom, I read out loud.

"It says on the bottom here, 'Legend of the Crimson Demon Hero, Chapter 1, Author: Arue.'"

Turning to the back of the page, I read, 'The first page is written by Yunyun's father. The second one has the postscript 'postage is too expensive, so I asked the village chief to send it together with his. I'll send chapter 2 over when I finish it'…"

"Ahhh–!"

Yunyun snatched the letter, crumpled it up, and threw it away.

"Waaahhhh, that's too much! Arue, that idiot, ahhh!!"

Ah, this girl who's kneeling on the carpet and wailing, I can't help but want to comfort her.

So I kneeled down next to her and patted her shoulder, "There there."

I'm not sure what else to do for her.

"Who's Arue?" Darkness asked.

That that, Megumin answered:

"Arue's my classmate from the Crimson Demon village. How should I put it; she's a weird girl aiming to be an author…?"

Darkness, sounding relieved, said, "Oh, so it's just a story… Hmm? What about the first letter?"

"The contents of this one should be true. The Crimson Demons have been an eyesore to the Demon King's army for the longest time. This day was bound to come sooner or later anyway. They're probably getting serious about attacking the Crimson Demon village."

"Eh? Isn't that bad? Should we go there to help?" I asked.

At that, the wailing Yunyun lifted her head suddenly.

"That, that's right. Now's not the time to be crying! Hey Megumin, what should we do? I think it's true that our village's being attacked! What should we do?"

To Yunyuin, Megumin said:

"We're the Crimson Demons that even the Demon King fears, right? I don't think the people in the village will helplessly await their demise. Also, if Yunyun, the daughter of the village chief, is here, the bloodline of the Crimson Demons won't be broken no matter what happens to the village. So, I think it would be better to think about it this way–everyone in the village will live on in our hearts–"

"Megumin, you cold-hearted girl! Why do you act so heartless every time?"

Yunyun looked at me after scolding Megumin.

"Um… Sorry for saying something so weird suddenly. How should I put this… Jaedin's the only man I know…"

I pat her shoulder. "It's alright, it's alright! Hmm, should we head on over to the village? You two have family there, right?"

"Well, I do have a sister there…" Megumin said.

"Yes! If it's this party, then the tides can be turned!" Yunyun said with shining eyes.

Um, Yunyun, I don't think you should put that much trust in our capabilities. The best attacks are sneak attacks, you know?

Most of our enemies were in a state where it was easier to kill them as well, luckily enough.

And so, we took a carriage to a town called Alcanretia to as our first stop on the way to the Crimson Demon village.

But when we arrived there, we found out that there were no rides to the Crimson Demon village, as the way was so dangerous even caravans wouldn't go there…

And since the Crimson Demons could teleport to other cities, there was no reason for caravans to come.

So, we were on our own.

It would take us an extra two days to get to the Crimson Demon village…

And there were many dangerous monsters that frequent the road, so it would be dangerous camping…

But, I had the Warehouse House, so we were safe while resting.

A portable home that I can lock with the ForceWall, what a convenient item!

Still, I bought a map to the Crimson Demon village detailing the monsters on the road there.

When we reached a forest, Darkness who was the vanguard suddenly stopped, saying, "Hmm, someone's there."

We looked in that direction, and at the entrance of the forest, a green haired girl sitting on a boulder seemed to have spotted us, and started waving.

On her right ankle were blood-stained bandages. She would glance at her right feet from time-to-time with a pained expression.

When we went over, Megumin, Aqua, Yunyun, and Darkness immediately surrounded the girl, cooing over her.

I looked at the map, and said, "It's a 'Tranquility Girl', a type of monster that won't deal physical damage, but it'll stop travelers by stimulating their protective instincts, starve them to death, and enroot them."

What a scary monster.

Still, Aqua happily said, "I'll heal your wounds! … Huh? These aren't wounds. These aren't bandages either, just something that looks like it."

I came closer and saw that the boulder under her butt was a part of her body. Behind the boulder was something like a branch; small fruits were growing on it.

Still, I killed her, to the dismay of the rest except Darkness, who understood that it was a monster.

"S-so cruel! I didn't think Jaedin could be so cruel!"

"So, there was a hidden side to Jaedin all along…"

Yunyun and Megumin cried.

"To kill such a monster, this is definitely a path that you would regret!" Aqua said.

Sorry, but I don't regret killing a monster that would lure in people deceptively.

……

Orcs, One-strike Bears, Griffons, and Fire Drakes.

Such were the monsters that we may meet on this road.

I prayed that we didn't meet them, and luckily enough, we made it to the Crimson Demon village without incident.

When we arrived, the village didn't seem panicked.

As expected of the Crimson Demons with high stats.

There was a griffon statue at the front of the village entrance as well…

"… Eh, this griffon statue looks so realistic. Is that a work of a famous sculptor?" Darkness asked as she marveled at the statue.

"That's a griffon who wandered into the village and got petrified. It looks cool, so it was preserved as a scenic attraction. And now, it's mainly used as a landmark to meet up with people," Megumin said.

How ridiculous.

At that, Aqua went up to the statue and placed her hand on it, chanting something.

"Aqua, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to cast a spell to cure abnormal statuses. I've never seen a live griffon before."

After we restrained Aqua, we went to Yunyun's home to see about the situation.

……

Her mansion was in the middle of the village.

As Yunyun's father, a middle-aged man, received us we learned that…

"No, that's just a letter to my daughter about how I've been doing. I got a little carried away when writing it. My Crimson Demon bloodline makes it impossible for me to write normal letters…"

What.


"… Eh? Um, D-Dad? Well, I'm happy that you're okay, but can you explain it in detail? First, at the beginning of the letter you wrote, 'By the time you read this letter, I will probably have already passed on from this world'…"

"Isn't that the standard greeting amongst us Crimson Demons? Didn't you learn that in school?… Ah, now that you mentioned it, you and Megumin graduated early because your results were excellent."

"… And the part about being unable to break through the military base built by the Demon King's army…?"

"Ah, that part? Those guys built a very extravagant base. Should we destroy it or keep it as a new scenic attraction? We couldn't decide."

…

Ah, it really was something ridiculous like that, wasn't it?

"Jaedin, please get ahold of yourself! Stop looking as you've lost your meaning to life!" Darkness yelled at me.

Ah, right. Right.

"Demon King's army alert, Demon King's army alert. Everyone who's free please gather before the griffon statue at the village entrance. We have visuals of the enemy, they number about a thousand."

One thousand? There's only a few hundred here at most!

Though Darkness and I were worried, the other Crimson Demons were calm.

And Aqua didn't care.

"A thousand soldiers of the Demon King's army. Seems like it's time to show the real power of a goddess."

Nevermind, she's insane.

……

When we went to the front of the village, we could see about 50 people ready to stand against the thousand-strong Demon army.

But…

"Lightning Strike!"

"Energy Ignition!"

"Freeze Gust!"

"Cursed Lightning!"

Those chuuni Crimson Demons totally wiped the opposition out. Struck by lightning, bursting into flames, turning into ice sculptures.

Leading the army of now less than one-thousand was a beautiful lady in a red dress.

"Everyone! I'll block them from the front, so follow me! The gap between casting two high-level spells is large. Let's use this chance…!"

That must be the Demon King's General.

I wanted to kill her.

Ah, this is not because I suddenly had awakened to a desire to murder, but, all this would be over or reduced if she died, correct?

……

After watching their battle, we decided to go to Megumin's home.

Yunyun said she wanted to deliver punishment to her friend Arue who sent that letter and went off to do so.

It was a small wooden cottage.

Megumin knocked on the door, and a little later, we could hear someone running from inside.

When the door to the house was opened, we saw a little girl that looked like a mini Megumin.

"Megumin's sister? Such a cute kid," Darkness said.

"It feels like a mini Megumin. Hey little Megumin, want some sweets?" Aqua took out sweets from somewhere.

"Komekko, I'm home. Have you been a good girl?" Megumin said to her little sister now dubbed Komekko.

I'll not retort at these weird names. Yunyun, Megumin, Komekko, Chomusuke.

I saw her freeze up when she glanced at me.

Am I that scary?

"Dad! Onee-chan brought a man back with her!"

Wait wait wait wait!

……

"… Thanks for taking care of my daughter. I express my sincere gratitude for that," Megumin's father, Hyoizaburo said to me. He was a middle-aged man with black hair.

Beside him was a beautiful lady who resembled Megumin, with a head of black hair and slight wrinkles on the corner of her lips and eyes.

"My daughter has troubled you very much… I learned much about Jaedin-san from the letters she sent back… So, we know you quite well," Megumin's mother, Yuiyui, said.

Aqua and Darkness were playing with Komekko on the other side of the room.

"Really?" I ask, glancing at Megumin who was fidgeting on the side. "What did she say about me...?"

"Hmm, she says that you are a reliable man who has a good head, doesn't waste his money, and is possibly celibate."

"Oi. Why would I be celibate?" I stared at the sweating Megumin.

"To be under a roof with four other beautiful girls and not have any relations past friendship with them, it says quite a bit about you."

I was about to retort at that, when I realized that it was true. Actually, wasn't it supposed to be a good thing I haven't pounced on anyone? I don't really see anyone as a good partner for that type of thing.

Megumin and Yunyun, while legal now that they are 14 (This country is weird) I see as kids due to my much higher age. It's hard to see them in a sexual manner? Not really. It just doesn't click with them.

Darkness is a major masochist, which kind of turns me off.

Aqua is… Aqua.

"Maybe I should find someone…?"

I wonder.

……

The next day, we slept in at Megumin's place, in my Warehouse's House.

… I think I'll just it the House from now on.

And so, Megumin and Yunyun led Aqua and I around town while Darkness lounged about at Megumin's house.

There were many strange tourist attractions, like shrines with nekomimi figurines, a sword in the stone that will be pulled out at the ten thousandth person, a pool that people throw weapons in, and a mysterious facility that holds the weapon that will destroy the world.

…

When we came back to Megumin's house, we saw that Darkness was facing off against the Demon King's army, with the General at the forefront!

"Darkness is facing off against the army!? Let's help her!"

"Ah, Jaedin? Why are you here so soon…?"

…

This damn masochist.

"Hey, Megumin, start chanting while I distract them."

"But the General is resistant to magic?"

"Still, I can kill her after the damage is done to the rest of the army.

Megumin started chanting under breath at that, and the army must have felt the magic vibrations as they stared fearfully in our direction.

I brought out a large amount of Manatite, and gave it to Yunyun, saying, "Herd them."

"Light of Saber! Light of Saber! Light of Saber!"

Money is power.

"Guh! Sylvia-sama, let's retreat! There's no way she would use a spell on her own ally!"

"That's right! It's a bluff! Let's go, before the rest of them come and ruin our day!"

""Where do you think you're going!?" Darkness said, blocking their way. "Megumin! Do it! My magical resistance has leveled up from last time and I can handle the pain from the explosion~♥!"

Megumin kept on chanting.

"Explosion!"

A loud boom resounded, and most of the Demon King's army were decimated.

"Guh!"

But the General, Sylvia, was still alive. So was Darkness, but both of their clothing were in tatters, Darkness's armor showing some of her skin off, and the Demon General's dress almost all gone.

"Yunyun! Handle the stragglers! I'll kill the General!"

I went in with Flash Step and Assassinated her, aiming for the neck!

Slicing off her head, I cleanly killed our 5th​ Demon King's General!

As usual, that was anticlimactic.

As expected of me, who had the stats of an Endgame adventurer, being a God of Swordsmanship, and lucky as hell.

……

After that whole thing, we decided to go back home to Axel using Yunyun's Teleport.

Before we left, we met two girls who looked about the same age as Megumin and Yunyun.

Now that I think about it, with black hair and red eyes, a lot of people look like those two, don't they?

"Ah, these two are Funifura and Dodonko," said Yunyun. "Back in school, these two were my f-friends!"
You don't sound sure.

"Ah, you three are their party members, right?"

"Thanks for taking care of them. Megumin acts childishly sometimes and Yunyun seems like she'd be an easy target for bad boys. We're glad both of you are doing well."

Ah, these two, didn't one of them need medicine for her brother so she got money from Yunyun?

Though she did feel bad about it, I'm kind of glad Yunyun has these friends who stayed even after their goal was met.

"Hey there, my name is Jaedin, the leader of this party. Nice to meet you."

"I am Darkness, it is nice to meet you two."

"I am Aqua, goddess of the Axis Cult!"

We ignored her.

The two seemed a little tense.

Was there something wrong?

"These two have no resistance towards men. Please forgive them."

"Megumin, don't say that. It must be embarrassing!"

Megumin and Yunyun bantered like so.

I looked a little closer and saw that they were nervous.

"He's also celibate, so don't think there's any chance with him."
"I'm not celibate."

It's just that I haven't found the right one yet!

After some casual conversation, we were off! Back to Axel!

……

I was face to face with Luna, the guild's most popular counter lady.

"How do you keep on doing this…?"

"I don't know. It just happened."

So please, give me that bounty now that I've given the Adventurer's card as proof.

"Whoo!"

"Aqua-sama, treat us, treat us!"

"Now now, my children, we're going to be drinking all night!"

……

A/N: What should be the next jump?
Just wondering
Not sure if I can write Danmachi, but I can try! Have not read any of it at all!
Fire Emblem Fate is a doozy with all those characters, but I know the story well enough.
I always fail to write much with Highschool DxD due to it being a whole mess of munchkinning. Needs more slice of lifes.
Sword Art Online might be unexpectedly easy to write.
F/SN is an easy write, I'd like to think. Pretty hard to beat though
Fate Extra is also an easy write. Too easy, though.
Fate Grand Order is a doozy to write because of all the Servants and their personalities.

Got any other suggestions? If I don't know them well, I'd have to go and read em or watch em before I can write

 

[Drey]

When we got home the next morning, we had a visitor.

"Is someone there… Oh, greetings sir. Are you the owner of this home…?"

The visitor was a man dressed like a butler, about fifty years of age.

After Darkness got a good look of that butler-dressed man, she suddenly said loudly, "What, aren't you Hagen? What are you doing here? I thought I told you not to come unless there was an emergency?"

Hmm?

Oh yeah, she was a noble, wasn't she?

Though the others didn't know yet.

The butler coughed dryly at that, and said, "Young lady, naturally, I'm here for a matter of grave importance. Actually…"

"Please no. We've just killed yet another Demon King's General."

"Jaedin!?"

"Yeah, yeah! Even a goddess wants some rest!"

"Shut up Aqua! And Jaedin, this is uncharacteristic of you, but please quiet down!" Darkness reprimanded us.

But I don't want to…

Darkness asked the butler, "What's the matter? Did something happen at home?"

"It's really terrible young lady! If this goes on, your only good point will disappear!" He said in reply. "If this goes on, the old master might be stripped of his nobility and the young lady will become a peasant! The unworldly young lady will only be able to make a living by selling her slutty body– Young lady! Please don't do that to my old bones, I'll die!"

While Darkness was strangling the butler, a letter dropped to her feet.

"What's this?"

"It's a letter from the royal palace. Young lady, after you read it, you'll understand the crisis impending on House Dustiness. And this is related to Yuki-san over there…"

After opening the letter, Darkness's face became more and more pale before finally kneeling onto the ground.

"Hey, what is it?" I asked her, but Darkness snapped out of it quickly.

"No-no-nothing at all! This has nothing to do with Yuki-sama! Please don't mind it!"

…

What was in that letter?

I reached out for the letter, but she held it away from me.

"Don't! You don't want to read this! It's something even more troublesome!"

"Steal!"

"Ah!"

After I stole the letter, I read it quickly, with Aqua, Megumin and Yunyun peeking from behind. It read…

'To the one who defeated many of the Demon King's generals, a great adventurer who made exemplary contributions to the nation, Yuki Jaedin-dono. I've heard about your marvelous accomplishments, and hope to meet with you face to face. May I enjoy a meal together with you?'

At the end of the letter was the emblem of the kingdom and the name of the author.

The name was Iris.

The first princess of this country.

"Jaedin, let's reject this invitation! If anything happens to first princess Iris, we'll lose our heads! It'll be a big problem if one of us did anything rude! You know nothing about ceremony and etiquette, right? You hate such restrictive events, right? Am I right? Let's reject it! Yes, that's right, the Dustiness house will book a good restaurant and we'll only invite close friends to hold a party that commemorates your achievements! So…!"

"Why not go over there and accept a dinner with them?" I said, making Darkness go silent.

"So Darkness was of house Dustiness!" Yunyun exclaimed.

"Hey, hey, this is our debut!" Megumin said excitedly.

And so, it was decided that we would come over to the capital in a week.

That said, I haven't seen Chris around for a while.

Ah, Chris is a silver-haired Thief and friend of Darkness's. She went with us to play a few times.

And by play I mean hunt monsters.

Though the reason we haven't seen her is because we're out all the time…

Oh well, since we have money we might as well room at the Capital for the time being!

We can't host in this small house anyway.

……

So I said, but it ended up that we were going to host them at the Dustiness mansion.

"Wow, Darkness was a noble? Of house Dustiness?"

I tried to make my voice sound amazed, but it must have fell flat as Darkness asked me if I was making fun of her.

"I can't believe it, you're of house Dustiness, one of the most prominent nobles in Belzerg! The top adviser in this nation, that Dustiness!?" Megumin screamed.

"…Yes."

Then Aqua asked, "What! So if I become a child of the Dustiness family, I can slack around all day and live an extravagant life?"

To that, Darkness replied, "Yes… But, our family's not looking to adopt…"

I then said, "That's not important Aqua, what's important is that she has such an odd name, Lalatina."

It's not that her family's the top advisor in the nation, it's her name that's the most important.

Why? Because we don't really need to use her name now that we've come this far as comrades.

"Don't, call me Lalatina…!" Darkness yelled with tears in her eyes.

…

I want to tease her with that name more.

"Well… This might be surprising, but Darkness is Darkness. For me, Darkness is a tough Crusader; an important comrade. That's all."

"It's the same for me! Darkness is our Crusader!"

Megumin and Yunyun support her.

"Yes, thank you!" The girl said with a happy expression.

Seeing their touching moment, Aqua said, "Hey, hey, I have something shocking to tell you, okay? Well, I've said this before, but you didn't believe me… Actually, I'm a goddess!"

"Wow, that's great!"

"Why don't you believe me–!"

While she was looking at me, who still hasn't answered past teasing her with her name, I said:

"Even though I know you're a noble, I still can't think of you as anything but a masochist Crusader that can withstand explosions."

With a complicated expression on her face, Darkness said, "I don't know how to respond to that."

Okay.

"By the way, we should order formal wear for this occasion. After all, I don't really have any formal clothes. A suit for me."

"A dress for me."

"Me too!"

"The best dress for the best Goddess!"

"W-why are you all asking me for clothing, don't you have your own money!?"

Haha, we're just teasing you, Darkness.

"It's alright. We have lots of money, so we can go and get our own clothes tailored."

……

"Welcome, brat who realized that while he is under the same roof as many females, he still can't get any!"

Oi.

"By the way, we are selling a mass-produced Vanir mask that's really popular in society. If you wear it in a moonlit night, your mana will increase, your metabolism will be enhanced, and your skin will have a silky luster because of the mysterious power of the devil. We also have a limited edition mask that's all black in color!"

…

I bought one black one since an assassin is supposed to have a mask.

Though when I came home with the mask, Aqua charged at me for buying a mask with the similar look as Vanir.

Well.

Sorry? Not sorry. It's a cool-looking mask.

……

From what I've read, the princess would be an amiable person to talk with, right? Since she got close with Kazuma.

I haven't really read that volume, since I skipped over their first meeting, but it should be true enough, right? Just treat the girl on the same level as you.

Even though she's a princess.

Anyway, on the day when we would eat with the princess, we all had to go to the Dustiness mansion.

Darkness went ahead of us, and the princess had arrived the day before.

There were many guards around.

At the entrance of the Dustiness mansion, Darkness received us while wearing a pure white gown with her blonde hair braided and hanging over her shoulder.

Hmm… I'd rather prefer a ponytail.

Ah, but Aqua has a ponytail, you say?

Well.

It's Aqua.

That childish Aqua.

But it is a good ponytail, I'll admit that.

"Yuki Jaedin-sama and ladies. We're honored by your visit. Today, I, Dustiness ford Lalatina, will be your hostess. Please treat this as your own home and enjoy yourselves."

Darkness who led the butlers and maids behind her bowed to us after that formal greeting.

The air was awkward, as if the others didn't know how to act.

I pulled myself together and turned on my polite mode!

"Thank you."

I came in a black suit and tie that I bought from a shop in Axel.

But for the girls, they didn't have enough time for dresses to be made, so they were going to borrow from Darkness.

We were led to a reception room, where I stayed while Darkness and he house help brought the girls over to a nearby room to try on dresses.

I could still hear them from here…

"Darkness, the waist is really loose. Is there one that's tighter?"

"That, that piece has the slimmest waist… It can't be helped, Crusaders need muscles…! What's the matter, Megumin?"

"… How should I put this… It slipped right off. The waist and chest are too loose. Is there anything smaller…?"

"Oh, this one looks so pretty!"

"Well, I do have others… But that one was from when I was a child… Ow-ow-ow! Megumin, don't pull my braid!"

"M-Megumin, she didn't mean anything by that! Really!"

After a while, Darkness brought out the three tired girls from the room.

Megumin's and Yunyun's black dresses fit well with their red eyes and black hair, especially Yunyun's long hair that was braided looked good.

As for Aqua, she wore a white dress.

"Jaedin, look, look. How is it? This is what it means by 'clothes make the man'."

"Hmm, that's true. You'd be beautiful if you kept your mouth shut."

She came over to me and we wrestled with our hands.

But, I was telling the truth, you know?

She reminded me of the Greek Gods for some reason. Beautiful. But also assholes. While Aqua was not really an asshole and more of an idiot, it was a close enough dichotomy.

Darkness sighed at me.

"Don't do anything rude, okay? After all, you're way too honest sometimes. As an adventurer who fights constantly as a career, you'll be given more leeway, but you might still lose your head if you say the wrong things."

And so, she and the house help led us to the room used for the dining event.

"Okay, listen well. She's a princess of a nation… Jaedin, you have a good head on your shoulders, so it should be fine as long as you don't act too familiar with the princess. Aqua, don't go overboard with your performing, especially those dangerous ones. Those tricks are banned. Yunyun, I trust you to be polite as the future chief of your country. And Megumin… I'll search you right now!"

"Eh? Wait, wait a minute Darkness, why just me? What's there to search, we even changed in the same room…!"

I looked away from the two who were wrestling and asked Aqua, "What tricks are you going to show her?"

"While it's a rare chance to meet with royalty, it's a bit of a boring present for Darkness's sake. I planned to make a painting on the spot… Specifically, a sand painting. I would then gift it to her."

"A sand painting on the spot? How amazing!" Yunyun said.

From the two who were wrestling, I heard:

"Hah, see! What's this, Megumin? A smoke bomb to disperse monsters and a potion that'll explode once it's opened! What are you planning to do with these? That's why your chest's so suspiciously big!"

"You're pretty good Darkness, but I still have a second and third way of making a grandiose introduction…!"

......

After that fiasco:

"… Well then, we're going now. Listen, I'll handle Her Highness Iris, all of you just need to eat and nod. I'll explain everything to her."

Darkness said as she finally opened the door to a vast, high-class dining hall that was well lit.

Several servants surrounded the table at a distance, waiting.

A large table with a myriad of dishes sat in the middle of the room. At the head of the table was a little girl dressed in white with straight blonde hair. Beside her were two women who were probably her bodyguards. One of them was a tomboyish woman in a white suit with a sword on her waist. The other had a bookish look and was wearing mage robes and a staff.

Darkness led us to the three of them.

"Sorry for the wait, Princess Iris. These are my friends and my adventuring comrades, Yuki Jaedin and his team. This way, my friends. This is the first princess of the kingdom, Her Highness Iris. Please introduce yourselves with the adequate etiquette."

The girl looked bored. I say that because she was not smiling, nor did she look interested in us.

Oh, she noticed us. But it didn't seem that we piqued her interest.

Aqua stepped forth, lifting the corners of her skirt and did a perfect curtsy. "I'm an Archpriest, Aqua. Please to meet you… All right, allow me to present a performance as a greeting…"

Darkness immediately grabbed her hand as she was about to show the princess her tricks. "E-Excuse for a moment, Princess Iris. I have something to tell my companion…"

As she was being dragged away, Aqua pulled on Darkness's braids.

Megumin was the second one to step forth, reaching into her dress and taking out a black mantle. After opening the mantle and donning it on her shoulders, she seemed to be preparing to introduce herself, but Darkness grabbed her hand and dragged her away too.

Looking at Aqua now, it seemed as if she was stroking and playing with Darkness's braid.

As Yunyun came forth and was about to do a similar introduction, she was also grabbed by Darkness and dragged over.

Sigh.

You're getting too stressed out, Darkness.

I looked back at the princess and as our eyes met I looked curiously at her. Just what was she whispering to her suited bodyguard?

"Lowly plebeian, don't leer at royalty with such lewd eyes. Normally, it'd be impossible for you to meet and dine together with royalty because of the difference in status. Lower your head, don't meet my eyes. Hurry up with your greetings and tell me about your adventures… The princess said."

…

I froze at that.

Then I repeated it to myself summarized.

I closed my eyes, and smiled to myself.

I felt my face twitch.

Then when I opened my eyes I decided to adorn a soft, cold, fake smile.

I could tell it was fake because I didn't even register the princess as someone to note.

Then it turned into a slight frown because I couldn't keep up a smile.

I'm lazy! So what?

I'm seriously pissed off.

Darkness must've noticed because she dragged me off to a corner of the hall.

"What the hell are you doing! Don't look at the princess with that type of cold gaze!"

"I'm seriously pissed off. It actually doesn't happen that often you know?"

Then I noticed that Aqua was painting on a piece of paper with glue and sprinkling sand on top of it next to the princess.

Completed in no time was an incredibly high-quality sand painting.

"To commemorate the day we meet the princess, I present you with this. I even replicated the disgraceful bit of sauce at the corner of the lips perfectly…"

I snorted a bit.

Darkness ran over there and screamed, "Your Highness Iris, I'll chase this insolent fool out, please wait a moment!"

When the princess heard her scream, she whispered to the white-suited woman beside her. The suited woman said, "Because the princess saw the rare sight of the calm and quiet Lalatina acting so frantically, she won't pursue the matter. It's normal for adventurers to be a little crude. Instead of that, hurry up and tell your stories of adventure, the princess said."

As the white-suited woman repeated the princess's word, Her Highness looked at Aqua doing her best to protect the sand painting in her arms from Darkness and smiled happily.

Darkness bowed deeply toward the princess, saying, "My deep apologies, Princess Iris! How should I put this, they are also the most problematic bunch amongst the adventurers!"

Heh. Heh.

Dig your own grave further, eh? Darkness.

I'll tease you a lot later, Lalatina.

While Darkness was doing her best to explain, Aqua presented the sand painting to Her Highness and said, "For you."

When the princess saw the sand painting, shock came over her face, and she whispered to the white-suited woman.

"To draw such a perfect sand painting in so little time…! Amazing, simply amazing! A reward for you! The princess said," the white-suited woman said as she took out something from her pocket and offered it to Aqua.

It was a small gem.

It was a gem. Pretty useless.

Aqua took it and geld it between her fingers, appraising it in the light in front of the princess.

Lowering her head, Darkness sat to the right of the princess. Megumin, Yunyun, and Aqua sat to the side of Darkness.

The princess gestured for me to sit to her left for some reason.

As I sat down, Her Highness stared at me and whispered to the white-suited woman, who then said, "Are you the one the brave magic sword user Mitsurugi mentioned? Let me hear your story, Her Highness said… I also want to hear about how you defeated that Mitsurugi."

Hmm? Mitsurugi knew the princess?

Whatever.

I started detailing about our adventures, leaving out not even the embarrassing moments like Aqua being eaten by a frog.

……

"Amazing! I've heard of all sorts of adventuring stories, but you're the first person I know of that fights like this! It seems honorable at the surface since you've defeated so many Demon King's Generals, but you've attacked one while he was talking, ordered the use of Explosion on your teammate, and assassinated the other two while they were taking a bath! What a practical way to fight! The stories of the other adventurers simply detailed how they elegantly wiped out the monsters, or how he defeated the dragon on the mountain with just a sword… The stories told so far were amazing, but they were all how the heroes defeated the monsters one-sidedly! But your methods shed light on how simple it really is! That's what Her Highness said."

Said the suited woman who was getting increasingly uncomfortable.

"Ah, don't forget the latest one, where she was weakened by Explosion and I Assassinated her after. You don't know when you'll die if you hold back, so I tend to exploit the advantages I notice in a fight. That's what I learned after facing the frog that first time…"

Darkness looked like she was getting angry at me, while the others were nodding at my explanation.

"Yeah, Jaedin's surprisingly dishonorable in a fight."

I'm an Assassin.

What'd you expect?

"How do you spend your time? The Princess asked. I am curious as well. How do you spend your days?"

"I eat at the various bakeries and patisseries around town. I have a sweet tooth, you see. And… I suppose I take on solo quests on my own sometimes during free days to practice my swordsmanship."

The three people unfamiliar with my habits looked surprised at that. Maybe it was a shock for them to learn that such a practical Assassin likes sweets?

The princess whispered to her bodyguard once more, and the suited woman communicated, "What a strange adventurer. You're quite different from all the adventurers I've met so far. What did you do before you became an adventurer? Says the princess."

Huh? Back in California?

…

"Before I came to this country, I was a student at a university, so I suppose I was a scholar of sorts, learning what I could about business and economy."

"A learned person? That definitely seems odd. Though it should be nobles or wealthy merchants that can afford schooling, could he be…?"

I don't know what the white-suited woman was thinking, but the other girls had various reactions to the reveal about my past.

"School isn't really that great."

"Hmm? Wouldn't that mean he was someone rather special?"

Megumin and Yunyun whispered their thoughts.

"With that last name as well… a noble?"

"As a goddess, I don't need school! My stats are all maxed out anyway!"

Darkness and the hopeless Aqua.

Then the white-suited woman suddenly asked me, "To think that you won against the hero with the magic sword, Mitsurugi… Pardon my impudence, but may I look at your adventurer's card? I wish to use Jaedin-san's skills as reference for myself…"

Hmm? Sure, why not.

Handing over my adventurer's card, her being froze in shock. Seeing that, the princess looked over, and froze as well.

"What is this… This adventurer's card must be bugged. How do you have that high Vitality as an Assassin… As well as an unknown Luck value and a maxed out Sword Mastery!? Not even counting the other high stats!"

Snatching my card back, I said with a little heat in it, "It's accurate. My swordsmanship and luck are incomparable, so I don't think you can copy my skills."

Looking as if she ate something bitter, the suited woman said, "I'll admit that with such stats you would have beaten Mitsurugi, but his sword Gram would have offered him the same statistics. How in the world did you beat him without killing him, since I only think your Assassinate would do any damage…?"

"Steal."

"Steal!? But his magic resistance is the highest…"

Well, I don't know.

It worked for me.

"Would you like to fight against me to test it out?"

Ah, I wanted to see how the princess's bodyguard faces against me. She should be even better than Mitsurugi, right?

I want to see what will happen after stealing your weapon!

"You…!"

"Ahahaha! He didn't mean anything by that! Really!"

Darkness, ruining my fun.

……

After having our meal, the three of them congregated together and seemed to have an air of finality around them.

It seemed that they were leaving.

Hmm?

It doesn't seem that Kazuma would have gotten close with the princess with just that, right?

I feel like something is missing…

Ah, well, hopefully as much as canon is preserved as possible, so I can use my writing as a reference.

"Will you tell me stories about your adventures in the future too? The princess asks."

"Sure!" I say. It seems that I'm quite weak against the little sister type, seeing that I let go of the grudge I had against her coldness already.

Ah, but even though I'm weak against that type, I don't really treat Megumin and Yunyun as little sisters. Rather, I treat them as kids.

This young princess is a kid even younger than them, so it wouldn't be good to hold a grudge against her.

Rather, isn't it bad if I don't closer to her so that I can be invited to go to Elroad?

So, if it seems creepy that I want to strengthen my bonds with a girl so much younger than me, just remember that the truth stings and I'm probably using her.

No, rather, I don't want to think of it that way, but I have to accept that truth.

But, can't I delude myself and pretend I have another friend? And it doesn't seem like I got as far as Kazuma anyway.

"Well then, we'll be returning to the castle. Lady Dustiness and everyone. Sorry for troubling you," the bookish-looking mage said to us.

"We should be the ones thanking you for accommodating our shoddy reception… Your Highness Iris, let's talk again the next time we meet at the castle. I'll tell you all sorts of adventure tales when I visit," Darkness said, to which the princess smiled back.

The mage started chanting teleport magic.

The white-suited woman passed a plague and a bag to Darkness, who was the noble of our party, saying, "Well then, the Kingdom will keep your grand accomplishments in our history books. We'll present you with this to acknowledge your merits."

"I'm flattered… Princess Iris, please take care of yourself…!"

Darkness held on to the items and smiled warmly; at her side, Megumin was waving goodbye too; Yunyun was waving along as well; Aqua was knocked out drunk.

"Your Highness, one day I'll come over and tell you some more adventures!"

I decided to say that. Perhaps tales of my outing with friends and adventures of video games will entertain her.

A shame, I wish that I got as close to her as Kazuma did.

As that thought occurred to me, the mage completed her chant and the princess pulled my hand.

"What do you mean?" The princess asked.

"Teleport!"

With that, the mage, the suited woman, the princess and I were engulfed by light, so I closed my eyes.

When I open them,

I saw the princess holding onto my hand with an innocent smile, behind her a huge castle.

""Princess Iris!?"" The mage and swordswoman bodyguard yelled at the same time.

With that innocent smile, the princess asked me, "Didn't you promise that you'd tell me more stories of your adventures?"

Ah.

What.

 

[Drey]

It was nighttime, the time when everyone should be asleep.

Though many maids welcomed Princess Iris back within the hall of the castle, located at the heart of the capital.

With a blank and confused mind, I followed behind the princess and her bodyguards, and they led me to a luxurious room at the top of the castle.

The white-suited woman said she needed to make some reports and went off somewhere, leaving just me, the princess, and the mage in the room.

Everyone that saw us just bowed to us before leaving.

Is it really fine for a random person to be wandering around the castle? That person is me, however.

Despite how I look in this suit, I'm an Assassin, you know?

As we sat down in the room, the princess whispered to the mage, who then said to me with a smile, "Yuki Jaedin-sama, welcome to the castle. You're a guest, so please make yourself comfortable. Just treat this place as your home and rest easy. This is now your room… Well then, please continue with your tales of adventure! The princess said."

"Wait, wait, in the first place, was I kidnapped just now?"

That's the important part, right?

The important part that you didn't mention?

The mage went over to me and whispered, "Her highness Iris always restrains herself, acts like a model royal, is obedient, and won't give trouble to others. This is the first time in her life that she has done something like this. In this city, Princess Iris had no playmates that matched her status and age. Since this is the first time Princess Iris is acting willfully, can you play with her for a short period of time?"

"Um. I'm sort of out of adventuring stories for now, but if it's the stories from my homeland, I think I remember a few."

Like Fate Grand Order and Stay Night.

Hmm, I remember a bit of Danmachi as well as some of Pokemon's early episodes.

With a sad face, the mage interpreted for the princess, "Um, I felt envious after seeing Lalatina and you all having fun together… Sorry about this sudden willful request, but just for a few days, can you play with me? The princess said."

…

Well, why not.

But first,

"Ah, but can you send a message to my party members to not worry about me since I'll be here? And that Yunyun will be leading the party for the time being until I come back."

As if I'd let anyone else handle it.

The mage, whose name I later learned was Rain, said, 'I understand.', and left the room in response to my request.

And so, in this room, there was only the princess and me. There were two female knights standing by outside, from what I could see, but is it really alright to leave a man and the princess in the same room?

Although I'm not a lolicon.

Perhaps sensing my unease, the princess smiled and said, "Father, the general, and Onii-sama have set off on an expedition to the city near the frontlines in the war against the Demon King's army. If nothing serious happens, it'll be fine… When it's just the two of us, just use the usual tone you take with Lalatina… No, you all address her as Darkness, right? Um, speak to me like how you usually do when you converse with Darkness… Please tell me about all sorts of things outside the castle."

And so, she sat on the bed with a hopeful look in her eyes, waiting for me to tell stories.

……

The white-suited woman returned after sorting out her paperwork. "Excuse me… Your Highness, the paperwork is done. Now, Jaedin-dono is now an official guest and can stay in the castle without worries…"

"And so, since I had won a bet against Darkness where the loser would have to do an amazing punishment, I told her…"

"Told her what…!?"

"What nonsense are you telling Princess Iris!? Do you want to be turned into minced meat!?"

While I was talking about the bet Darkness and I did one time, the white-suited woman drew her sword and rushed at me.

"Ah, Iris asked me to tell her stories!" I say cheerfully.

"A mere adventurer dares address Princess Iris by her name…? You shall address her as 'Princess'! And what's with the tone you're taking toward her!?"

Uwah. She's a noble, after all.

"Hold it, Claire, I requested Jaedin-sama to address me by name. I also asked for him to speak in a natural way. So, what did you order her to do?"

"Princess Iris, no! You can't ask that! Jaedin-dono …Please don't tell such things to Princess Iris." She said while sheathing her sword.

I sigh and shook my head.

"I'll tell her what she wants to hear. A bodyguard should not close off her ears like so."

"I'm not a bodyguard, insolent fool! I'm the elder daughter of house Symphonia that can even match the house Dustiness which you're so close with. As the escort of Her Highness…"

So she's on the same level as Darkness?

That's what's she's saying.

I turned to the princess. "Since your bodyguard's getting pissy, let's talk about something else."

"W-what!? I'm not a bodyguard! Address me as Lady Claire! Ah, really, what's with this man? Lady Dustiness must've had a difficult time!"

Mmmn.

In the end, Claire who was angry at probably half of my stories since they were a bit inappropriate, slept on the bed.

As for the princess…

"Wow! That sounds so similar to the story of the Land of the Elves! A magical cup that can grant any wish, fueled by the souls of 7 summoned Heroes!"

What.

"Really now?"

"Yes! If I remember correctly, it was the story of one of the two founders. Founder… Emiya, I think."

What the fuck?

And so I listened to the princess tell a story that was basically Fate Stay Night Unlimited Blade Works, during which I added in my own opinions about the whole thing, and the ongoing plot in the background.
"No way…! So in the end, Sakura…!"

"Yeah, she was never seen from again."

Then we started talking about where I was from and what was there.

"So from a young age, all sorts of kids would go to school, where we would learn from one teacher many things such as mathematics, language, and history."

"Together?"

She seemed awed at that. And a bit like she wanted that for herself.

No monsters, children learning and playing every day until they became adults. And then they may still learn and play even then while working.

"What a fantastic and happy place," she said. "To be learning and playing with everyone every day."

Then when there a lull in the conversation, the sound of bells echoed throughout the night.

The sleeping Claire jumped up from bed when it sounded out, immediately composed as she said, "…So, it's here again." And she charged out of the room while saying that."

Hmm?

"Demon King's army alert, Demon King's army alert! The knight corps have already mobilized. All adventurers please maintain the peace and security within the city and stop any monsters from sneaking in. All high-level adventurers please come forth to assist!"

After that broadcast, the princess's smile seemed a bit weak, and she mumbled, "With how things are, I can't leisurely focus on academics."

"Is this common?" I asked.

She nodded. "It will be attacked every now and then."

…

How bad was the war that the royal capital of all places was attacked regularly?

"Thank you for telling me so many interesting things. Rain will send you back to your town tomorrow… May I trouble you to tell Lalatina that I'm sorry for bringing you to this place…? It might not be the frontlines, but it'll be attacked every now and then, so it isn't completely safe."

The princess may have said this out of concern for me, but…

"No… I can fight while I'm here too, so I can tell you even more stories, if that's okay?"

It should be fine to play with the princess for a while longer, right?

"Yes! It's okay! More than okay!"

She seemed surprised by my statement?

Oh well.

And that's how I: ended up staying here for a bit longer.

……

I woke up to an unfamiliar ceiling.

Ah, that's right… I'm in the capital.

A knock on the door took my attention.

"Jaedin-sama, have you woken? I'm here to bring you breakfast."

"Good morning, I'm up."

An elderly man entered after saying 'pardon me', pushing inside a breakfast cart.

"Today's breakfast is Lesser Dragon Bacon with fried egg, and salad with plenty of asparagus. Please choose a bread you prefer to go with your meal. The salad's made from fresh ingredients picked earlier this morning. The asparagus have powerful attacks, be careful not to get hit."

After saying that and placing breakfast beside my bed, he excused himself.

I immediately killed the asparagus and dipped it in some of the fried egg. Mmm. Taking some bacon and ignoring the sounds of 'chu' from the fried egg, I ate breakfast.

My door was knocked again as I was eating, so after I swallowed, I said, "Come in."

The door opened partway, revealing Iris who hid half of her body behind the door, who said, "… G-Good morning…"

How cute.

"Good morning, Iris."

"Y-yes!"

This was awkward, right? I'm still eating, however.

After finishing my breakfast, we took a walk around the castle together.

It really was a castle! My first time in a castle!

Though, what am I supposed to do?

When I asked her, she told me that I was to be her playmate.

Reduced to a playmate of a girl, huh… Well, it's the princess, so that elevates my status, doesn't it?

We made it to the courtyard, where there was a parasol and chairs with a board game laid out.

… I recognize that board game.

"I don't have lessons today, so I hope you can play this game with me…"

"Sure," I said, sitting on a laid out chair. "Don't think I'll hold back though. I've lost too many times against Megumin to be able to hold back anymore."

"O-okay! That's what I'd prefer! No one in the castle wants to be my opponent out of reverence for me! I'm fine with losing! It's fine even if I lose, so please have a game with me!"

I chuckled at her excitedment.

"Let's go, then…!"

…

I lost so many times.

I hate it.

At least I won once.

It was by using Explosion though.

"Umm, well, I understand if you're holding back, Jaedin, but don't for my sake okay…?"

"Who said I was holding back?"

……

We were eating sweets after her lesson in the morning.

"Ah, these sweets are so good! As expected of the royal patissier!"

"Jaedin, you shouldn't eat so many sweets or you'll get fat…"

She just said something really cruel, this girl.

But I'll tell her a secret I haven't even told my teammates.

"Here's a secret: No matter how much I eat, I'll never get fat!"

"No way!"

She didn't seem to believe me but the sight of me eating an entire cake without a care might have changed her mind.

……

"Iris, have you thought about going outside to play? Like, maybe a city or going around sightseeing. There's a lot of strange sights, like devils with good reputations and a friendly lich that has bad business sense."

We were at the balcony of Iris's room playing games while drinking tea after she finished her morning lesson.

"If I leave the castle, an order of knights would need to be assigned to be my escort. And I'm not permitted to leave the capital alone without my vassals… Also, there's no way such devils and liches exist. Please don't look down on me… Teleport to this grid."

She looked at me with doubtful eyes, moving her chess piece.

The mage who I now know as Rain was beside me but didn't say a word, only pouring tea into my empty teacup.

I looked at the board, and saw a chance to make her fall in my trap! Then after I moved my piece, I said, "My comrade doesn't know I know this, but I know that she broke the seal on the evil god at her village that was split into two, and she eventually made one half of it her familiar."

"That's obviously a lie, Jaedin."

But it's true, you know?

"Did you know? The goddess Eris comes down to play sometimes, taking on the guise of an adventurer to travel and do good deeds…"

"No way."

My plan to distract her worked, as I saw an opening…!

Ah, it was a trap.

……

When it came to be that a week had passed, I decided that I was here long enough, but when I woke up, it was to Darkness and the rest!?

"Eh? Why're you guys here?"

"You're asking me why I'm here? To bring you back, of course! Really, how long are you going to trouble them here? Go back with me at once! Why, why did you do something so out of place?"

Ah, my selfishness caused them trouble, but whatever guilt that might have induced was nonexistent.

"Ah, but Iris…"

"Iris, huh…! Because of you, Iris received weird influences! When she was taking military and battle tactic lessons, she'd use absurd strategies or despicable methods…! Unlike adventurers, royalties and knights have to fight honorably! Don't teach her your unscrupulous way of fighting! Aqua, you tell him too!!"

Be despicable, you mean practical.

But Aqua looked mad too, saying with her hands on her hips, "That's right, it's not fair that only Jaedin gets to live in the castle! Everyone worked together to defeat the Demon King's Generals, right? If Jaedin gets to live in the castle, I should be able to live here too!"

"Pfft!"

"Be quiet Aqua, you're making things more complicated!"

"It's been hard leading the party without you, Jaedin…!"

"Hey, hey. Why did you make Yunyun the leader while you were away. Aren't I the smartest one here?"

No comment.

Princess Iris came in, with a troubled expression. Darkness took this chance to say, "Your Highness Iris, please listen to me. In the town of Axel, this man has some fame as an adventurer. His friends will worry about him if he goes missing. We came here today out of concern for him too… That's why, may you please let this man go?"

Iris nodded gently with a sad expression when she heard what Darkness said. "… You're right. Sorry for being so willful… Lalatina, in that case, at least for tonight… May I host a farewell dinner party…?"

……

A dinner party for nobles and royalty.

As expected, we were out of place.

"Hey Jaedin, this is super delicious! This natural melon together with dry-cured ham! This seems to be really fresh wild honeydew; it's really juicy."

"Jaedin, Jaedin, this is really tasty too… Nom. The high class pudding on the sushi complements the wasabi and soy sauce! I don't know what dish this is, but the sticky sweetness is mixing with the sauce, making it thick but not greasy…!"

"Jaedin, it really is that good! You like sweets, so you'll definitely like this!"

I watched my companions eat.

We borrowed suits and dresses from the castle to dress up so our appearances matched the event, however the rest of us was out of place.

For example,

Aqua found it a hassle to go to and fro from the bartenders so she dragged her table filled with food before the bartenders and started eating her fill there.

Megumin was filling empty containers with food.

Yunyun was excitedly recommending me desserts she would try along with Megumin.

What about Darkness?

She was dealing with nobles who seemed to be complimenting and attempting to court her.

……

After a while, a lot of the male nobles came to Darkness, while the ladies were talking with Aqua and Megumin, asking about shampoos and soaps.

…

Since I'm the one that buys them, it seems that they're finding it hard to speak up.

Heh. Heh.

I'm engaging in schadenfreude.

Except for Yunyun, since I would basically handle the chores with her.

After all, if Megumin was the one to handle it, she'd buy the cheap stuff.

I was alone at a table filled with many pastries, when suddenly,

"– What are you doing in a place like this?"

Iris came up to me.

Eh? Where did she come from?

"Mmmn. I'm not a social butterfly, so even though this party was held for me, I'm not getting out there. Sorry."

"Ah, it's no problem." She waved her hands, then with a lonely look, said, "From tomorrow onward, this castle will quiet down. You have to go back…"

"I've troubled you for the entire week. I'm usually not this energetic, but it was fun playing with you." Hmm? Did I say something weird? I felt like I did.

I tilted my head. "Now that I think about it, I've gotten awfully close with you after a week."

Hearing that, she looked up at me shyly and asked, "Did I trouble you?"

"Mmmn. No," I denied. "It's just, a bit strange, but not bad that we got close so fast."

Did Kazuma get this close with the princess? Even though I wanted to follow canon, at some point didn't really care about it and played around.

I even taught her a few codewords like she should know.

Like, lol, afk, and brb.

Heh.

"This is the first time I've met someone like you. Everyone keeps on their toes around me and showers me with concern. But you didn't. You were so rude ('Rude?' I whispered) and taught a lot of things to me others didn't like. Even though I'm royalty, you treated me like another friend…"

Mmmn! Too sweet! Her and this cake I'm eating!

"Try this cake. It's the best one out of all of these."

"Please read the mood, Jaedin."

Hmm, the conversation lulled for a bit, then she said, "I want to be an adventurer just like Lalatina. All generations of royalty possess high potential for using magic, right? I probably can't be a Crusader like Lalatina… But what about a Mage or a Priest? Or maybe… A Thief! Being something like the chivalrous thief that's the talk of the city would be nice! But would Claire be angry if I say that I want to be a Thief?"

Hmm? Chivalrous thief?

At my confused expression, she explained to me:

"Jaedin, you don't know the chivalrous thief who's the talk of the city? He seems to be hitting the home of nobles with bad reputations and stealing the wealth they got through despicable means. And on the next day, a large donation would be made to an orphanage run by the church of Eris… That's why the thief's known as the 'chivalrous thief'."

… Ah.

That's Eris.

Well, I'll just leave her alone.

…

The next day, we said our goodbyes and we went back to Axel.

 

[Drey]

One day, I decided to go out and eat at the various restaurants with Aqua and Yunyun, leaving Megumin who's conscious about pricing, and Darkness, who was watching her weight, at home.

But when we came back home.

"Really, what a perverted Crusader! Here, you want this, right? Don't endure it anymore, just give up…! … Ah."

"I won't submit for something like that! My honor as a Crusader is on the line, so I can take it even if it's for an hour or two… Ah."

Darkness was rolled up with thick blankets and Megumin was squatting before Darkness and waving an ice cube in front of her. Both of their cheeks were flushed and Darkness was even panting.

After our eyes met with each other, I closed the door.

Megumin then barged out of the door, saying "Don't close the door! It's not what you think!"

"No, no, it's fine. It's fine. We'll come back after dinner, so don't mind us. I can use the Warehouse's function to let us sleep there instead of here so it's alright."

"The Axis Cult accepts love between members of the same sex. Do you need a blessing spell?"

"Megumin was being odd lately, so it was because of that…"

"You completely misunderstand! This is, that, Darkness, she…"

Megumin blocked us from leaving.

"Ugh, to think there'd be an additional shame play…! Even if everyone sees my shameful appearance, I still won't give in!"

"You're making things more complicated, so shut up!"

Ugh, now that I noticed, it was pretty hot inside. What was going on?

…

Why is the fireplace lit? It's almost Summer.

"This isn't any special play; Darkness is just asking me to help her train for the endurance competition. She's apparently the winner in the annual Summer Endurance Competition in this town."

Megumin, her face all red, pressed the ice cube onto the forehead of Darkness, whose face was equally flushed.

"Well, alright… but could you train in Darkness's house instead? You're making the house all hot."

Darkness exhaled blissfully when Megumin pressed the ice onto her head and said:

"Actually, my father's not feeling well recently. If he sees me doing this, he'll be worried about what his daughter who has yet to marry is doing. I have to be considerate about his feelings…"

Hmm? Her father is sick?

"Well, if he's sick, why not let Aqua go see him?"

"That's…"

"Yeah, let's go visit Darkness's home for dinner! If it's there, there should be some good food and wine!" Aqua said.

"Then it's settled. We're visiting your home, Lalatina."

"Don't call me Lalatina…!"

……

Willfully, I brought everyone to see her father. And when we did…

"Sacred Break Spell! Whew! It's a really powerful curse from some devil!"

Ah…

"This is good! Now we can say that I won't die and be able to pay off the debt…!"

"Ah, the debt from who?"

"Alderp, the landlord of this town."

…

The next day, the landlord disappeared, and evidence that indicated his wrongdoings turned up.

How shameful.

In the end, Alderp's assets were confiscated and transferred to the next governing lord of this city.

The next lord of Axel was Darkness's father.

Alderp's son, Walther, was spared since he was unrelated to his father's crimes. He'd be helping Darkness's father from now on. I heard he was a good guy unlike his father.

Currently, Darkness was taking on the temporary role of lord on behalf of her father, who hadn't yet recovered.

So, we were without our Crusader for a while.

Feeling that she needed help I decided to have everyone take a break for a while, while I help Darkness with her duties.

……

"Ah, Jaedin, what does this mean…?"

"This incident is troublesome… how do you think it should be resolved?"

"The Eris Festival is coming up… I hope it goes well as usual."

……

And so, our daily lives kept moving forward, like I wanted.

Still, I wanted to see Iris one day again. Perhaps I should visit the capital after finishing helping Darkness with the rest of her work?

It seems that I'm unexpectedly good at dealing with paperwork, so she's been asking me for help a lot…

After the festival, we could work on doing quests again, so we levelled up slowly.

Eh? Why not just let everyone solo them?

While Yunyun can solo, the rest cannot.

One rest day, I received a letter.

'Dear Jaedin,

I have heard about your efforts to help out Lalatina. Thank you for helping her until her father could recover.

This time, I have a request for you, who has become one of the nation's greatest adventurers.

Actually, I am going to meet with the prince of a neighboring country with whom I have an arranged marriage with, so I would like to hire you as my bodyguard—"

Time to put my Assassin class to use.

 

[Drey]

And so, using the teleport store, we all went to the capital.

We walked a bit from the store in the capital to arrive at the castle.

There were two guards standing in front of the castle.

"Halt! Those who do not have business here may not enter! This is not a place for adventurers!"

Hmph.

I handed Iris' letter to the guards, saying, "I am Yuki Jaedin, and we have accepted a request from princess Iris."

Seeing the royal insignia on the envelope, the faces of the two guards turned pale, and they immediately readjusted their posture.

"E-, Excuse my manners…! I will immediately go and call my superiors, so please wait a moment! May I be entrusted with the envelope?"

"Sure, sure."

Handing the letter over to the guard, he confirmed its contents, and we were led to the waiting room.

We sat down around the waiting room, when suddenly—

"Yuki Jaedin! Is it true that Yuki Jaedin has come!?"

Ah, that's Claire's voice.

She barged into the room with her white suit, grabbed my arm, and dragged me to a corner of the room.

"What's up Claire?"

"I will give you my thanks in advance. Take this."

She handed the pendant that bore the insignia of her household to me. The proof of her nobility.

"What's happening? Do I need this?"

"Yes, you do. Let's work together since we are both against Iris-sama's marriage."

"Alright. I'm listening."

She took something out of her pocket, saying, "The person Iris-sama will be meeting is the first prince of the neighboring country. However, due to his spoiled upbringing and education, he is a truly selfish brat. He is no equal for Iris-sama, who was born with the talent for battle, and surely, his appearance is also incomparable to her adorableness and beauty. Furthermore, the neighboring country of Elroad looks down upon my nation. Should Iris-sama be wedded to him, those imbeciles will surely speak maliciously of her and look at her with contemptuous eyes… That's why I'll entrust this to you."

She then handed a black bag to me.

"What's this?"

"It is a forbidden poison that is used by nobles to bury their political enemies…"

I threw it away immediately.

"Hey, how much money do you think I spent to get my hands on that!"

"You're turning me into an assassin? Well, while I may be an Assassin, I'm not planning on being hunted by a nation."

She clicked her tongue.

This woman!

This fucking woman!

"I suppose it can't be helped. Then, I have another thing to request of you besides the bodyguard mission. As long as you have the necklace that I entrusted you with a moment ago, you should be able to freely use the authority of my household, Shinfornea, to a certain extent. For this time, and this time only, you will have the backing of my household. How could I possibly hand Iris-sama to such a suspicious person? Do whatever you have to do to dissolve this engagement."

"Roger that, I'll do my best to ruin this whole thing. Also, why is this happening in the first place…?"

She sighed at that, and told me:

"Elroad has threatened to stop its funding, so we need ties with it so it could keep up its funding. But what's more important is that you cancel the engagement with Iris!"

Hmm…

Didn't Kazuma get the right to play in the casinos and get lots of money?

Heheheh.

Seeing my face, Claire relaxed.

"I see you have a plan. I will leave Iris-sama in your hands."

"Leave it to me."

There was also that Prime Minister as well.

Looking over at the doorway I see that someone has come.

A young girl in a white dress, it was Iris.

"It's been a long time Jaedin. I've been waiting for you…!"

……

We were standing before a simple carriage which would be drawn by Lizard Runners. It also didn't have any wheels.

"Hm, will we be using the imperial carriage? I heard that this meeting was supposed to be a secret though…" Darkness said.

So, this is the imperial carriage?

"Using a normal carriage would take too much time. Using a normal, horse drawn carriage would take ten days of travel to arrive at the capital. However, using this carriage that was specifically designed for royalty, the travel time can be greatly shortened."

Claire then raised a hand towards the imperial carriage, and it rose off the ground, hovering less than a foot above the ground, and she said, "I don't know what I might do if I couldn't see Iris-sama for over ten days. A normal carriage would take over twenty days here and back. How could I possibly endure that?"

Ah, she must be busy, which is why she cannot come.

This is from my knowledge from a well-written fanfiction that had her participate in a tournament for Iris's hand in marriage. In other words, if she wasn't busy, she would come and ruin it all herself.

Then Darkness put herself in the driver's seat, grasping the reins of the lizard runners.

Hmm… There's enough space for us, right? If not then there's the Warehouse.

Iris – who seemed like she couldn't wait any longer – was equipped with the armor of the royal family and a dazzling sword. She quickly climbed onto the carriage.

"Please sit here Jaedin! Since the seat beside me will be open, we can play games like before while we travel!"

I nodded at her. "Alright!"

Then Megumin climbed aboard the carriage, saying, "Oi! How gutsy of you to take the best seat despite being a mere underling! Now, hand over the seat behind the driver that has the best view to me, or I won't invite you to go play again!"

"H-How unfair of you! This and that are different problems! Besides, today, I'm not your underling, but a princess! An authority! I will not hand over the seat behind the driver. If you wouldn't have it any other way, then I'm up for a fight as well!"

Hmm? Were they so close?

Though, it seemed that the seats have been decided.

Iris and Megumin would sit behind the rider's seat, while I and Yunyun would sit in the opposite side's seats.

By the way, the carriage had four seats.

Since Aqua said that she wanted to sit next to Darkness while enjoying the scenery, everyone fit nicely.

And so, we were seen off by the worried and distraught Claire and Rain.

And so, our leisurely ride to Elroad where I would try to get that Prime Minister who worked for the Demon King killed.

Wait, wait.

I'm an assassin.

If the enemy is truly a monster, I would say that I killed a member of the Demon King's army if I was questioned.

In any case, the speed of the carriage right now could compare to a car speeding over 100.

"WAAAAAAH Jaedin! Jaedin!! I want you to switch seats with me! This is too scary!"

No way.

"It's alright! The carriage used by royalty all have a powerful barrier cast upon them. In the case of an accident, the people sitting at the driver's seat will be the only ones to go 'splat'. HAHAHAHA, wonderful! These lizard runners are truly wonderful! Good, let's go even faster!"

"Stop! Hey, let me get back in the carriage!"

Darkness and Aqua were having fun.

"Hey, what are we going to do if we crash into a monster at this speed!? If a precious existence like myself goes 'splat' in a place like this, this world is going to end! Hey Darkness, are you listening!?"

"It's alright Aqua. This carriage is outfitted with magic tools that repel monsters, so it's unlikely for monster to suddenly come out and crash into us. Yes, as long as our luck isn't bad, we'll be fine…"

"Hey Jaedin, Darkness just raised a flag! I'm begging you, please just let me into the carriage!"

Due to the flag Darkness raised, there was a giant cow monster that blocked the road, but it was taken care of easily by Iris's slash of light skill, Exterion.

I already knew she was so strong, but…

"Why is she so strong…?"

"Iris-sama is a member of royalty you know? Since a long time ago, royalty and powerful nobles have been inheriting the blood of heroes, and as a result, their latent potential skyrockets with each generation. On top of that, they receive the highest quality education in a variety of fields. Adding on to that, they use the highest quality food ingredients without reserve in order to raise their level, and they use weapons inherited from the heroes to fight. Do you know that his majesty and the first prince are currently fighting at the frontlines?"

So said Darkness.

Huh. That makes sense.

Then, with a smile on her face, Iris ran up to me – who had been rendered speechless by her strength – whilst hugging her sword across her chest.

"How did I do Jaedin!? I worked hard!"

I headpatted her. Headpats are the best.

"Yeah, good job."

For some reason, Megumin, who had her moment to shine taken away from her was in a good mood. To Iris she said, "Although you are still my underling, this is what I would expect from my left-hand man. If you see a monster, just slash the same way you did just now."

"Yes, please leave this to me!"

Isn't Megumin too arrogant? And Iris, don't agree with her!

Oh wait, they had formed some kind of thieves' alliance or something in the side stories, didn't they...?

Man, it's been so long since I've read the novels. Since I've been living in this world…

……

There was a portable mansion which was a highest-grade magic tool, so we didn't need to use the Warehouse.

Hmm…

I did not cook much, since the Warehouse had a function of dispensing food, but at this moment, I wanted to at least be a God of Cooking, if only to see how Iris would like it.

That day, we had some of the sweets and foods I saved up in my fridge in the Warehouse.

The next day, we had some of Aqua's tuna-mayo rice ball.

And then, Darkness and Iris were tricked into thinking it was a dish eaten by adventurers.

She also prepared some furikake-gohan and tamago-kake gohan. Which were basically seasonings over rice and raw egg over rice.

…

It tasted good though.

……

The day before we would enter Elroad, Megumin took to cooking.

So we caught crayfish for a while and she would cook them, presenting them as lobster to the ignorant princess…

Crayfish soup, salt-grilled crayfish, and stir-fried shellfish in chili sauce.

Yunyun didn't get a chance to show off her skills in cooking. Ganbatte, Yunyun.

……

Oh yeah.

"By the way, the Prime Minister of Elroad is working for the Demon King, so be wary of him."

Everyone froze at that.

"Hahaha, what are you saying, Jaedin?"

"Hmm… How to make you guys believe me… Ah, right. I also know that Darkness has a child named Sylphina or something along those lines who would call her 'Mama'! And that Megumin released the seal on the evil god Wolbach-"

"Stop Stop! How do you even know these things!?"

"I never told you about her… how did you know?"

"Yunyun?"

"I kept it a secret!"

"It's because I'm from another world."

"That doesn't answer anything…!"

……

"Alright, we'll just agree that Jaedin may be out of his mind, suggesting that the Prime Minister of a country is actually working for the Demon King."

"Hmm? Ah, there was also Alderp and his deals with the demon named… Maxwell?"

"Out. Of. His. Mind."

Come on Darkness, you know it's true!

…

I later found out we were there to get funding for the war against the Demon King's army that was currently reaching its peak since we've defeated so many of their generals.

Hmm…

We better kill the rest of them, then, if it means that Iris doesn't have to get married.

When we arrived there, I ordered everyone to go into pairs for safety.

Aqua and Darkness. Megumin and Yunyun.

Me and Iris.

There. Perfect!

"Somehow I feel that Jaedin is actually a lolicon…"

"Hmm? Wouldn't I be attracted to Megumin, then?"

"Hahahaha, I heard wrong, right? Jaedin?"

Hahaha.

She tried to hit me, but my stats were too high!

But Iris said…

"I need to prepare for tomorrow's meeting… since this is my first time meeting the prince, I'm feeling a bit nervous. Perhaps this is the reason I'm feeling stressed. I'll be resting at the hotel, so everyone should feel free to go sightseeing."

And when we tried to get her to come out…

"Y-You can't! Please go and relax. Since we've come all the way to the nation of casinos, I wouldn't be able to rest with peace in mind if I keep you holed up in the hotel!"

Hah…

"Alright, then… rest well, Iris."

"Yes!"

……

And so, I cleaned out the various bars' gamblers.

Feh. I wanted to hit the casinos, but Aqua seemed to want to go there and I don't need her bad luck.

……

The next day, we were in awe at the ridiculously expensive-looking castle.

Though Megumin said something about casting Explosion on it, Darkness stopped her.

"Hey hey, if I do a performance to change the sign on the castle's flag to the insignia of the Axis cult, do you think that they'll be surprised?"

Darkness stopped her as well.

"I wonder if I can make friends with the prince!"

Don't count on it.

"Well, Iris, time to get our financial support."

"Yes! Somehow I don't feel nervous at all with you all here."

Then we heard a boy say, "Geez, this is why Belzerg's commoners are so-… Making a fuss in front of the castle, do you even know what etiquette is?"

Looking at him, he should be the same age as Iris, though he was pretty tall.

Red hair, freckles, and a large number of retainers behind him.

I hate him already.

Then, Iris, who had been behind Darkness, walked in front of her.

"Are you the first prince of Elroad, Revi-sama? I am the first princess of Belzerg, Iris. I came all the way here to see you, so I'm happy that we are able to meet today."

Iris showed a princess-like statue. Elegant, adorable, perfect etiquette.

…

"I-Iris-sama…!"

Darkness raised her voice, moved by the noble appearance of her lord that she once thought of as a little sister.

"So, you're my fiancé? Although I heard that even the female children of the Belzerg clan are militants, you actually look pretty weak. And here I was thinking that I would see a strong and cool appearance. How disappointing."

"Eh-? Ah, uhm… Sorry…"

Oh?

"And why do you have so few bodyguards? Is Belzerg really that poor? Instead of only training your muscles, it would be better to put some effort into training your heads so that you can earn some money you know!?"

Saying that, prince Revi showed a belittling smile. Leading his retainers on, they began to laugh.

Hahahaha.

I smiled along as well, though I think I may have unnerved some of them when I did so.

Then, Revi walked past Iris and walked towards us.

The entourage of retainers that followed behind the prince acted the same as well. The gazes they cast towards Iris showed that they were looking down on her.

And then, some of the retainers opened their eyes wide when they saw Aqua and Megumin and Yunyun.

"On top of that, your bodyguards aren't really anything to write home about either. Their age aside, their equipment looks pretty cheap. I'm actually impressed that you managed to get here safely."

Without noticing his retainer's expressions, the prince continued to make fun of us.

However, this time, not a single laugh could be heard from his retainers.

Thinking that that was strange, the prince turned towards his retainers.

"If you're looking for a fight, then I'll bring it to you."

Megumin, whose eyes were shining bright crimson, took a large step forward. Yunyun stepped forth as well in support of Megumin but she had a worried look.

……

"You're mistaken! Prince Revi is not familiar with your nation and doesn't know about the existence of the Crimson Magic Clan! We weren't trying to provoke you or belittle you at-…!"

"Prince, look at them closely! That is a crimson magic clansman! They're a troublesome group of people that even the demon king is forced to acknowledge. They're a group of people that don't understand jokes, so please don't say any more careless things!"

"I-, I understand. I'm sorry! It was my mistake, so please stop chanting your magic!"

At the advice of his retainers, Revi apologized to Megumin and Yunyun.

"I'll turn a blind eye this time, but don't let there be a second time, alright? My name is Megumin, the one who controls explosion magic, and the one who has buried a countless number of demon king army generals. It would be better for you to not anger me."

"And I am Yunyun, the future chief of the Crimson Demon clan!"

"Understood Megumin-dono, Yunyun-dono. We will work hard to ensure that this never happens again!"

Haha. I chuckled a bit at this. What a ridiculous situation.

As his retainers apologized, the prince seemed angry or frustrated.

Darkness was holding her head. Ganbatte, Darkness.

"I don't really understand this, but the willingness to apologize is a good thing. When you said that 'we're nothing to write home about', I wanted to give you a taste my holy fist, but I will forgive you this time."

This time, Aqua decided to retaliate.

The prince started to insult her, "You imbecile, you're just a mere priest. You dare to…"

"Prince, prince, she is an Axis cultist. On top of that, considering her blue hair and the way she's dressed, she must be an extremely passionate one! Axis cultists are said to be more troublesome than tranquility girls and more tenacious than undead."

Hahahaha!

"Hey, I would very much prefer that you stop putting Axis cultists in the same group as tranquility girls and undead! Apologize! Apologize for putting my children in the same rank as monsters! And Jaedin, stop laughing!"

The prince, frightened by Aqua who acted like a self-righteous monster, cast a frightened gaze towards Darkness and I.

He whispered to his retainer while looking at Darkness, so their look was still wary, but it relaxed when they looked at me.

Heh.

Heh.

Are you mocking me

Then, someone else came.

"What is all this noise about?"

Wearing some fancy clothing, and with an overwhelming presence, this man walked towards us.

"Prime minister-dono! No, this is…"

Oh? So this is the one who's working with the Demon King.

Seeing him, Iris pulled herself together and greeted the prime minister.

"Nice to meet you. I am the first princess of Belzerg, Iris. I am honored to meet you."

"Oh my oh my, from the rumors I've heard about the Belzerg clan, I would've never imagined that they would have such a cute princess. I am the prime minister of this nation, Ragcraft. I shall be in your care."

Everyone followed behind him, but Aqua…

"I don't really get it, but I can't help but feel that there is something weird about you, uncle. However, you don't stink like a devil or have the presence of an undead you see… Hey uncle, do you happen to be friends with any devils? Or are you raising an undead as a pet or something like that?"

"My apologies Ragcraft-dono! This person is well known as a strange person even amongst axis cultists!"

Aqua, who suddenly said some rather disrespectful things, was immediately pulled away by Darkness, who hurriedly lowered her head to apologize.

……

In short, the meeting didn't really end well but it also did.

Their nation was undergoing financial difficulties. The engagement was dissolved by the prince.

And so, Iris wanted to come every day to ask the Prince for support.

Hmm…

"Aqua is not allowed to gamble."

"Why…!?"

Why?

It's because…!

"Your luck is abysmal The lowest out of all of us. You'll lose all the money I'll give you."

"I won't… I won't!"

"Then here's a hundred thousand Eris. Try to at least double it."

"Yay!"

……

Today's negotiations failed. We couldn't do anything.

I didn't know how Kazuma got the funding other than gambling, but…!

"Prince Revi, I'll ask you to give me a VIP pass to the best casino in town."

"What…? No, do as you like."

……

And so, I got a pass.

And so…

At a roulette table.

"Ahahahahaha! We won! We've won again! Because Jaedin has terrific luck! As long as we're in a casino, I will follow you for the rest of my life!"

"Yunyun, prevent Aqua from betting. The funding from Elroad depends on it!"

"Yes!"

"WHY!?"

…

The next day.

"Esteemed customer! P-P-, Please don't gamble anymore!

Hah.

As if.

I'll take away all the funding we need.

I took out the pendant Claire gave me.

"T-That is-!? The insignia of the great noble family of the neighboring nation, House Shinfornea!?"

That's right.

I'm using their name.

I want to use the VIP card a little later.

"Amazing, Jaedin! I heard that your luck is great, but I never would've thought that it would be to this extent! If your luck is this good, rather than being an adventurer, wouldn't it be fine to amass a fortune from casinos?" Iris said.

Hmm…

I don't really need a lot of money, you know?

I already have enough to live.

I like to think I cleaned out the casino, but we still needed more funding.

……

We went to the casino every day.

"Esteemed customer? Uhm, due to your immense ability, our business may be forced to close in the near future. We will give you a reward, so please…"

"I have a VIP card from the prince."

"T-the prince!? No way…"

…

We went every day.

The manager looked as if he was going to cry whenever he saw me, but I ignored it.

In the end, we were begged to stop by the prince.

But we didn't see any reason to stop.

When we asked why they couldn't give the funding…

"My nation intends to make a deal with the demon king army."

Said the prime minister.

Oh shit, I forgot to kill him.

Darkness got all pissed, saying that the Demon King was a terrible existence that kidnaps females, even children, to 'play' for his own amusement, sexually assaulting princesses and female knights.

Then the prime minister defended the Demon King, saying that he was a trustworthy member of the demon race…

"Even if you say that, this saying is actually quite famous… On top off that, I've heard that 'the demon king is a lolicon', 'the demon king is the number one pervert on the continent that likes abnormal play', 'the demon king is a homo', and other rumors like that…"

"Who is spreading such baseless rumors!?"

'By us, the Axis cult! My children are great, aren't they?"

I'll join in too!

"I've also heard that the Demon King is immoral, stealing panties and harassing his female workers into leaving."

In the fanfic, of course.

At that, the prime minister walked over to me, but tripped over nothing.

Then, his form hit my sword, and he was injured!

And split into black goo, which then reformed into the prime minister.

As everyone looked at him in shock, he said:

"Umm… I can explain?"

"A doppleganger!"

Hearing that, he began to run away, but was sliced apart by Iris.

…

"So, uh… Your Prime Minister was a doppleganger."

After invading his workspace, we found letters to the Demon King…

Uwah.

……

In the end, we did get the funding we needed, and Iris's engagement was cancelled already, okay Prince?

So even though you're playing nice with Iris, you have no chance.

Got it?

……

And so, we left Elroad in high spirits and with the promise of funding against the Demon King.

A/N: Disappointed that I wouldn't murder a kid?

Even if the SI knew that the minister was a monster, he couldn't remember what monster it was and it was only due to luck that it was found out.

Bit of a cop-out.

 

[Drey]

We came to Belzerg having defeated the prime minister of Elroad that was actually a doppelganger infiltrator and received the funding from Elroad.

And Iris's engagement was also canceled.

"Well done Jaedin‑dono, I have truly misunderstood you! What you've achieved this time was far beyond my expectations!"

After we returned to the castle with Iris, we went to the audience room where we reported the results of our journey. After that, Claire greeted me in excitement.

"We did it, somehow."

"I felt like I didn't do much, however…" Iris said with a complicated expression.

"That is not true, Iris-sama! I believe it was your presence that allowed Jaedin-dono to do so much so freely! To be honest, I wouldn't have cared if the funds were completely cut as long as Iris-sama's engagement was called off. To have it called off while also getting the funding and saving Elroad and getting them to owe us a favor is absolutely incredible!"

She said, while pouring her heart out.

"Claire! Which is more important, my engagement or the nation's funding!? If we weren't able to get these funds, then we wouldn't be able to fight against the demon king army, you know!?"

"Of course the matter of your engagement is more important, Iris‑sama. As long as you are safe, the demon king army can do whatever they—OWOWOW! Iris‑sama, have you become more violent since returning!?"

Iris pounced on her, twisting Claire's arm. Either way, she was probably playing around, as she had the time to talk to us.

"Either way, it's a job well done. You can have whatever you like for your rewards, just name it."

"Hmm, I'm not sure. What does everyone else think?"

"The greatest staff for my Explosion!"

"Ah, I could use a new staff for my spells too…"

"I do not need anything. I'm happy that we could help the nation."

"Serve me!"

Everyone was lively.

"Let me treat you all to a banquet as well to commend your efforts."

So said Claire.

But…

……

Claire couldn't hold her liquor at all, becoming drunk after only half a cup of alcohol.

The venue of a banquet gave off a Japanese feel, probably because of the influence of the heroes. There were tatami mats and everything.

Ah, but I was alone in a corner as usual, while everyone else was being chatted up with.

This is due to my Sneak skill or Lurk.

Quite frankly, I wanted to be alone and enjoy the atmosphere. Though, somehow, Iris still found me.

"Jaedin, what do you plan on doing after this banquet? Are you going back to Axel so soon?"

She asked me with a cup of juice in hand. I on the other hand had a cup of a sweet cocktail. I didn't get drunk so…

But, is she lonely?

"We could stay here for a while," I decided to say. "Aqua would be happy, and we could rest while we relax… Maybe even help out with the defense."

And so, we decided to live in the castle.

……

For some reason, Claire seems to respect me now.

It's because I ruined Iris's marriage.

Despite being at the capital, we went out for Megumin's daily explosions.

Iris somehow could come along as well, and has been getting along with Megumin, calling her 'Big Boss' sometimes.

In any case, I wish to spend more time with Iris, but…

"Please! Show us those movements once more!"

"Teach me! Sensei!"

"I have never seen such movements even from that Sword Master, Mitsurugi!"

Sometimes, when I would be strolling around, I would be asked to show off my swordsmanship by the soldiers.

It was just one time that I showed off to Iris in the middle of the training area, but now they all want to see more of it.

… Is it alright for you guys to revere an Assassin?

So, while Iris had her lessons, I instructed the soldiers at the capital while having sweets.

A fine life, if I do say so myself.

……

A week at our peaceful life at the capital has passed.

Aqua keeps on playing around, Megumin still does her daily Explosions, Yunyun still can't make friends and we have to watch over her to make sure she doesn't get taken advantage of, Darkness is… attending parties.

And me?

"Jaedin-sama! I have completed the training you put forth for me!"

"Let me see your slash, then. Whether it's perfect or not."

I've been training the soldiers one by one.

"A-amazing! I heard that the soldiers trained by Jaedin would improve in their swordsmanship after watching him and being trained by him, but this is too much!"

Somehow, I'm teaching them random swings, but it seems that they took my performance well.

I'm not a God of Teaching, but it seems that others can derive some inspiration from my sword swings and knowledge of Swordsmanship that my body knows.

But after two weeks of playing at the capital…

"Let's go back."

"Why?"

At the reception room, Darkness requested that we go back to Axel.

With her were Aqua, Megumin and Yunyun, who had already packed their bags, the former sobbing about not wanting to leave.

Darkness sighed.

"Haven't you noticed? The castle's residents have gotten significantly less thankful over these two weeks. And… your respect among the soldiers here is too much."

Hm?

At my confused look, she explained, "They are staring to worship you as a God of Swordsmanship, you know? It's troubling the others who haven't seen your skills."

Ohohoh.

Maybe seeing my self-conceited smile, she looked as if she was annoyed and shoved a whoile pile of letters to me.

They were letters telling me about how great I was from kids.

I looked at Darkness, and gave a sad smile, as Aqua said, "Let's think back to our roots, shall we? That's right, our hope was to defeat the unholy Demon King and bring about world peace! These children's letters reminded me of my true duty! Alright, Jaedin, let's go level up back in Axel! Guiding you, the weakling, from zero to hero is my obligation as a goddess! It's time for the Goddess of Water to cast light upon these children' future!"

After she read the letters from the children.

Or should I say Darkness.

"These are fake, aren't they?"

Darkness froze up, saying:

"W-what could you be talking about…?"

"Don't play with me. I have knowledge of some happenings that happen in the future, so I remember something about fake letters from children…"

"H-how could he have seen through it! I worked so hard on those letters!"

"Shut up, Yunyun!"

I sighed and scratched the back of my head.

"Well, we can leave tomorrow, I guess?"

Darkness nodded at that, so I was left alone at the capital for one more day.

……

Iris wanted me to tell her stories before I left, so I obliged.

"It's been a long time since onii‑sama came to my room. Make yourself comfortable, I'll go fetch Claire's dessert."

After dinner, I came to Iris' room.

Mmmn. Dessert. That sounds nice.

And so, I told her even more stories that I could scrounge up from my world…

"And so, I told her, 'You shouldn't be with him anymore if he and his friends are bullying you all the time. Though when I look back on it, I regret that I said such a thing."

"Why?"

"Because the right decision would have been to tell her to talk to him about it. Let it all out in the air and settle it from there. But I may have inadvertently destroyed a relationship with my advice…"

I decided to tell her stories from my gaming days.

"Hmm, well. Ah, how about this one? When I was in my school's vocal ensemble… Oh, we sing, I used to be able to sing very well, you know? Anyway, there was this performance, and since I was tired that day, I decided to take close my eyes during the midway point and the teacher found out…"

At some point, I noticed something in her hand.

And seeing my gaze at it, she bashfully handed the item to me.

"Uhm, please take this. Big Boss…I mean, Megumin taught me how to make it. She says it is a traditional crimson demon lucky charm. Since Jaedin is often going up against Demon King's Generals, I thought I might try and make one…"

Huh. A crimson demon lucky charm?

I took it, saying, "I'll cherish it. Maybe I'll be lucky and manage to defeat the Demon King?"

"If you do, then I would be happy…"

Ah, it's so that she could then be able to go outside, right?

It must be lonely here at the capital as a princess.

……

Later, past midnight, I prepared to go to sleep, saying 'good night' to Iris.

But…

"Please, stay here."

She said to me with upturned eyes.

Guh!

I already promised to go to Axel tomorrow, no, today!

"Don't worry, Iris, I can visit often. I've been well-received, you know? I'll visit every week to tell you stories…"

"No! That's not good enough! I know you could take the charm along in my stead, but I want to go adventure with you and experience all the world has to offer!"

This girl, saying such things.

I tried to headpat her, but she dodged me, saying, "I know you have a habit of headpatting when you're trying to comfort someone but please, I want you to stay! Please don't leave me!"

As if realizing that she said such an embarrassing thing, she dropped her head, and said, "Excuse me, I let it get to my head… I can't help but be childish when with you. I'm still the princess of a nation. I have an obligation to protect the people."

How lonely.

"It's okay to be childish. Remember what Aqua said?"

"Do what you want today and regret it later?"

"Yes, that one!"

She sighed at that, shaking her head.

"Jaedin, just for tonight… could you tell me more stories?"

So I told her more stories from my dark past.

"So even you had a crush when you were young…!"

I was young, okay? Wait, no, I was your age then!

"You don't seem like the popular type; are you lying to me, Jaedin?"

I'm not lying. People really did think I was going out with the girls I'd hang out with.

By the way, I know for sure that they weren't interested in me.

One was already part of a love triangle of my friends, another it's just that I would whisper and laugh together with her while in class, another I actually liked, but it amounted to nothing, and the last was probably just using me.

…

How sad.

I pity you, past me who thought any of them were interested.

 

[Drey]

One day, Funifura and Dodonko from Megumin and Yunyun's village came with Komekko, saying that Megumin's home was thrashed and that the Demon King's army was attacking the Crimson Demon village.

So, we were to take care of Komekko until it all blows over.

As for the reason that the Demon King's daughter's army was attacking their village…

It was because of a watchtower that can spy on the Demon King's castle.

Specifically, the bedroom of the Demon King's daughter.

…

Yunyun left with them, since there was a gathering of people who could use Advanced-level magic and Teleportation.

Still.

"So much food!"

With Komekko here, we have to shop for more food now, so Aqua and I went out to buy the necessary items.

When we came back home…

"So, I'll share my bed with Komekko. It's been a while, you must have felt lonely. Here, let me compensate you with some long-awaited bedtime companionship."

"Onee-chan must have been lonely without me…"

"K-Komekko!"

And when she saw Chomusuke…

"Looks tasty…"

"Komekko, eating Chomusuke is forbidden."

"Aww…"

I sighed.

"Well, let's have a feast for Komekko's welcome. It should be fine to bring out all the food we can!"

"Onii-san is so handsome!"

As Komekko cheered, she took out a small notebook.

Megumin leaned over to see what she was writing, and said, "mm/dd/yyyy: successfully seduced onee-chan's friend. I seem to have shifted his target to myself… Komekko! What do you mean by 'seduce', who taught you these words!?"

"Buzucoily."

"That damn hikikomori huh!? That NEET really has zero redeeming factors!"

Ah, that guy.

"By the way, I'm not Megumin's boyfriend."

"Eh? But my mom tells me that you should be…?"

Really?

I fidget a bit.

"I'm not really looking for anyone right now…"

"That's right. Komekko, this guy is relatively safe as he's impotent-"

"I'm not important!"

What the hell, Megumin!

…

She is such a glutton.

No matter how much she eats, she doesn't get fatter or seem full.

A black hole.

Well, we have lots of money, so we can afford it.

……

"Onee-chan, can we go to the guild?

I want to visit the guild to see how strong onee-chan is."

Huh? I mean, I guess so?

We do quests every day, so…

"In her recent letters, onee-chan told me that she is well-respected within the guild. People would often compliment her and bow down at the mere sight of her."

Oi.

Perhaps feeling the intensity of our piercing stares, Megumin sent her off to play with Chomusuke.

Megumin went into a seiza position at the middle of the room in front of me, Darkness and Aqua.

"It's not what it looks like."

After some explanations from Megumin, it turned out it was exactly what it looked like.

Megumin just went a little overboard while bragging to her family.

Not too bad.

Especially since she explained it was to keep her family from coming over and taking her back home.

"Still, you should tell the truth to your sister now than later. It'll hurt more the later you put it off…"

The other two nodded at my explanation, but Megumin rebutted, "B-but my pride as an older sister…!"

"It's a pride built upon lies."

"…No, you're right. Originally, I wanted to lie about my conditions to keep my parents calm, since my mother was too overprotective… There's no reason to take me home at this point. I'd better come clean with Komekko."

That's right.

Apologizing early on, while difficult and gut-wrenching to do, will have benefits in the form of less troubles to deal with.

When Komekko came back in, Megumin called her over.

"Komekko… I have some serious matters to discuss with you."

Hearing Megumin's words, Komekko was aghast.

"Could it be… you don't have enough food?"

"No! Something far more important! It's that… what I wrote to our family was mostly me posturing and had some over exaggerations in there…"

"Uwah, so onee-chan lied in her letters?"

"Gah!"

One hit K-O!

"So you aren't the strongest party in Axel?"

Hmm?

"Huh, we are."

"Isn't onee-chan a super-duper mage that can kill any monster in a single hit and she's well-respected by other adventurers because of it…"

"That's true," I said.

"And the blonde onee-san never backs down before any monster, she's a reliable crusader who can withstand any attack. The blue-haired onee-san is a priest that never loses to any undead or devils; she can even revive dead people like a goddess."

Ah, she did revive Dust that one time…

As Komekko continued, Megumin stood up in a hurry.

"Yunyun is your precious friend and can take on most of the monsters you face, while the onii-san is the strongest and most reliable of you all?"

"That's true! That's true!"

At my exclamations, Aqua said,

"Most reliable? Aren't I the most reliable? Hey, hey, Megumin. It's me, right?"

When I laughed at that, Aqua came over to pummel me.

"I want to see the adventurer's guild!" Said Komekko.

So we went over there.

Seeing Megumin's little sister, everyone doted on her, but in the end…

Everyone was saddled with durian quests!

Quests that nobody would take!

……

…

It was boring, so I'll just say.

I don't want to see a manticore ever again.

He had a wife, but he said some really homo things…

The good news, however, is that Komekko was impressed with everyone.

However, I think Komekko was more impressed with the loads of food we brought back home.

……

"I'm back, everyone!"

"Welcome back."

"Did you bring any souvenirs?"

"I'm glad to see you are safe.

Megumin was playing with her sister at the moment.

"Mmmn. Thank you. Where's Megumin?"

"Playing with her sister, why?"

"Ah, that child will be picked up by their parents tomorrow, since we've successfully repelled the Demon King's army."

Ah, that's a shame.

"Alright! Today's gonna be another feast!"

…...

So we sent off Komekko with Yuiyui.

She certainly brought along some excitement. It hasn't even been a week since we've left the capital.

But one day, a young girl with lbue eyes and blonde hair came up to our door.

And when we opened it, she ran up to hug Darkness, yelling,

"Mommy-!"

…

As expected. It's uh, Sylph-chan.

A/N: I already wrote this, but man...