[Konosuba X Bobobo-bo-bo-bobo] Bobo-Suba! Fighting for Hair Care in Another World Over There!

[Davos]

"Greetings lost lamb. I am Aqua, Goddess of water. I am sorry to tell you this, but you have perished, and this is the-"

"Oh no! I'll be late for the tea party!" The tall, muscled man with a blonde afro says, hands on his head, tears under his stylized sun glasses, sheer panic in his voice, startling and confusing the blue haired woman in the wall-less room.

"Tea party? No, I am afraid you will not be able to get there now, so let us-what are you doing?" She asks as a long table appears in front of her, with the blonde man, a blue jelly man, and an orange…thing all sit there, drinking tea. The blonde man and the jelly man sipping with pinkies out while wearing three piece suits.

The orange thing is eating an entire BBQ pig with lawnmower sound effects, quickly clearing the plate, before eating the plate, and slurping up the tablecloth.

"At least practice your manners in front of a Goddess, damn it!"

"You're not my mommy!" He says.

"That is not-"

"Do you have proof you are his mother then?" The blonde man asks, now wearing a judge gown while still at the tea table, holding a gavel in one hand and a teacup in the other.

"I am obviously not his mother! Just look at us. He is an orange thing, and I am a Goddess!"

"I so am a Goddess! The Goddess named Don Patch!"

"No, you- Why are you dressed like me?!" Aqua asks while looking at Don Patch who is now wearing a blue dress and boots identical to Aqua.

He even has a raiment.

"How did you copy my outfit down to the raiment? Wait a minute, that IS my raiment! You little thief that is-"

"Proof that you are the mother. The lab results say so." Jelly Jiggler says, dressed as a scientist while holding a clipboard in one hand and a teacup in the other.

"So concludes the court, I set the child support amount to one million dollars and fresh cookies, chocolate chip, not raisin bran, for every other Sunday that ends in Y. Dismissed!" Bobobo says with a slam of his gavel.

"No it isn't! And give that back!" Aqua says before groaning and taking back her raiment, rubbing it while locking eyes with Don Patch. Aqua side steps away before speaking again.

"I'm probably gonna regret this but what could possibly be on this thing to tell you I am his…" Aqua stops when she takes the clipboard and looks at it.

On the paper is Van Gogh's Starry Night, but every star is Don Patch in various poses.

"Isn't science beautiful?" Jelly Jiggler asks. Aqua looks at him before throwing the clipboard into the shadow wall.

"My science!" Jiggler says as Eris cries out in pain from beyond the wall. She turns to Bobobo with a stack of papers.

"Ok, just pick one of these and I'll dump the language into your head so you can go to the other world. We need brave…heroes…such as you to defeat the Demon King and…wait a minute…" Aqua takes out a scroll and reads it.

"Only one of you is dead so why are there three of you?"

"One of us is dead!?" The blue man says, dropping his teacup, the fine China shattering as he repeats 'dead' multiple times as the shards fly out, his whole body jiggling.

"Calm yourself Jelly Jiggler! This is just a ruse to get into our still living heads and our life savings! If we fall for it now, we'll never open that seaside café!"

Aqua stares flatly before waving a hand, making Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler get sucked into a wormhole.

"Don Patch! Jelly Jiggler! What have you done you blue hew shrew?!"

"I'm not a shrew! I'm a Goddess!"

"Did someone call for a Goddess?" Don Patch says, standing on Aqua's head. She glances up, her eyes wide, fists shaking as the orange thing appeared again.

With her raiment.

"…How did you cross the multidimensional barrier between life and death?" She asks while grabbing Don Patch and pulling her raiment away.

"By looking both ways before crossing the street!"

Aqua yells before hurling him into the shadow wall, only for him to appear again from the other side, landing with full force into her head. Aqua rubs her head as Don Patch lays dead on the floor, tears in her eyes at the death of her child.

"He is not my child! What is going on here?! Why is there a disembodied voice calling me mom now too?! Please let me just put the language into your head before things get crazier so we can-"

"---------------"

"…How could you possibly know the language already?"

"Your hair told me!"

"Huh?"

"Your hair speaks all language, it's like you're a linguist or something!"

"…Well if it works it-"

"And it's bad mouthing you in all of them!"

"All of them?!"

"Yes! Including French! And I don't even know French! And don't get me started on Japanese…"

"But why? I treat it so well! I use Heaven grade shampoo!"

"It's because…you don't give it enough Vitamin D! You stay locked up in this room all day, letting your hair bleach from lack of sunshine!"

"That's absurd!"

"No it isn't! The pained cries of hair starved of life's gifts is no laughing matter! That is why I am taking you with me to this world so that noggin of yours can get all the sunshine it deserves!" Bobobo says and an angel appears, placing the both of them in a magic circle as Aqua screams, banging her fists into the wall.

"Why would you pick me?! Why would you enchain a Goddess to you?! I'm useless in a fight! Why is this not illegallllll!?"

"Simple, blue Beauty."

"Don't even try to flatter me right now!"

"Because freedom….is snot for you!" Bobobo says before whipping out the nose hairs in a dramatic pose, the follicles piercing through the magical circle and swatting the angle out of the room.

"Why did you attack the angel?! She was just a part timer chasing her dreams! Oh no, I'm starting to talk like those two idiots!"

"Elementary, my dear Blue Beauty." Don Patch says in a tweed coat and similarly styled hat while smoking a pipe.

"Don't call me that….at least you're not wearing my-"

The raiment appears on Don Patch.

"Sacred Exorcism!" Aqua yells out making Don Patch fly away.

"My one weakness!? But how?! I'm nowhere near a gyyyyyyyyyym!" He says before becoming a twinkling star in the dark wall-less sky.

"Exorcism, not exercise!" Aqua says as she rests her head against the magical circle, biting her lips.

"I need to do this…" She thinks before drawing one more breath.

"Eris, help me!"

"I'm right here Aqua!"

"Oh, thank you for UGH!" Aqua stops when she turns around and sees Bobobo in a purple coif over his blonde afro and a purple dress over his black pants. Next to him is the real Eris looking at him with a hand over her mouth, a band aid on her head, and a piece of paper in her other hand. She walks past the man as he pulls out a bible and starts humming 'Take me Out to the Ball Game.'.

Aqua is so stunned her brain's limited capacity stops working and she tilts her head to the side with an exasperated grin.

"Lady Aqua…what is going on?"

"I don't know anymore; except I'm going to that world with him to defeat the Demon King…he claimed me as his one item hahaha…"

"A-about that Lady Aqua-"

"Hey…have you noticed that he has a bigger chest than you? I doubt he uses pads…" Aqua says and Eris freezes a moment before crumbling the paper.

The magic circle brightens.

"Enjoy your time Lady Aqua…by the way, that paper I destroyed would have broken the seal and nullify his selection~."

Aqua cries as she is lifted into the air.

Bobobo says 'ole!' as he starts another adventure.