Hammer Down the Nails
The Ero-Sennin
Shitposter no more
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Time for a fight, and the end of sever other conflicts besides. The penultimate chapter of Volume 6 is here.
Across the street from the school, Shermie and Ferguson were enjoying their third sodas of the evening, while Star and Alfonzo were fiercely debating his economic development plans for Pixtopia.
"Wh-whu-?! Tax the…?! Why would you tax the peasantry?!" Star demanded of Alfonzo, after hearing of his economic plans for the Pixie Kingdom.
Alfonzo shrugged his shoulders. "Why not?"
Star slapped the back of her right palm into her left hand. "The peasants already do all the labor, and they barely have any money as it is! Do you want a peasant uprising? Because that's how you get a peasant uprising!"
The vehemence of Star's answer surprised Alfonzo. "Well, I can't tax the nobility, they always threaten to revolt when I raise the taxes on them."
Star groaned. "Alfonzo, you're the absolute and tyrannical ruler of Pixtopia. If the noblility revolts, you can just crush them, take their crap, and give it to someone who plays ball. There's only a few of them, you can replace them anytime with anyone! If you get a peasant revolt, you have to crush a lot of guys!"
That was Alfonzo hadn't considered. "… Huh! Smashing a few nobles does sound easier than razing entire cities…"
Star snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "Exactly! Plus, smashing a single house of nobility means that the rest of the kingdom's infrastructure keeps running smoothly. Use that monopoly of force, Alfonzo, crush the rich and redistribute their wealth to someone who can do the job!"
Ferguson raised his hand to his mouth to whisper aside to Shermie. "Uhh… Mr. Pines? I don't think I like where this conversation is headed?"
"Not exactly fond of it myself, kiddo. But I'm thinking they know something we don't. After all, we ain't from around there." Shermie replied.
"Okay, then," Alfonzo said as he gestured to Star with his soda, "What about representative democracy?"
Star held a hand up to about her height. "Pixtopia needs to be this literate for democracy to work."
Alfonzo nodded. "Oh, I can't do that, then," he said before holding his hand at about the height of Star's knees, "Because Pixtopia is about this literate."
"Yeah, that's about right." Star agreed.
Loud clanging footsteps began to fill the air, drawing the attention of Star, Shermie, Ferguson, and Alfonzo along with the dance's security down the street. Marching straight down the middle of the street, his head tilted up towards the flashing holographic marquee, was a seething and grumbling Hammer Kong.
"Oh cool, what's that?!" Ferguson said.
Alfonzo recognized it. "Hey, that's Hammer Hands, from Big Bad Beetleborgs!"
Star and Shermie both looked at Alfonzo with alarm, with the former asking, "Wait, are you sure…?!"
The Combat Mecha followed the streaming beams of light down to their source and saw the gymnasium with lights flashing faintly in the windows. Looking at the hologram emitter, he let out an angry growl before unleashing a burst of lasers from his sole eye, destroying it.
And like that Star got up and began running straight towards Hammer Kong.
"HEY!" Hammer Kong shouted at the dance security as they quickly drew firearms and pointed them at the Combat Mecha. "WHAT IS A SPIRIT WEEK BY WONG AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT, HUH?!"
"Unknown combat cyborg," one of the security personnel said as he stepped closer with a bead drawn on Hammer Kong, "You're trespassing with hostile intent. Leave the area immediately."
Hammer Kong slammed his hammer hands together. "CYBORG?! CYBORG?! DID YOU JUST MISCATEGORIZE ME AS A CAN OF MEAT?!"
"HEY!"
Hammer Kong turned from the guards to Star, who stood in the middle of the street, holding her wand at her left side.
"I don't know what your deal is, but you're not going anywhere near that dance," she said resolutely.
Hammer Kong was mildly perturbed by that. "A dance? THERE'S A FREAKING DANCE OVER THERE?!"
He raised his hands above his head. "I HATE DANCING! I WASN'T PROGRAMMED WITH RHYTHM!"
Star got ready and then said as she replied, "Then let me teach you!"
And she was gone, running straight at Hammer Kong as a green glow built around the head of her wand.
Hammer Kong let out a metallic screech. "OH GOOD, YOU WANNA BE A NAIL!"
Rearing back, Hammer Kong let his right arm extend backward before swinging it up and over his head down where Star would be. "KONG CRUSH!"
Instead of flattening Star, the hammer smashed into the street, as Star sidestepped the weapon. Jumping onto Hammer Kong's arm, she ran up the overextended limb before pointing her wand at his face.
"Laser Beam Blast!" Star shouted, and the wand responded with nothing but more of the green goop from before, splattering it all over Hammer Kong's minimalist face. "Shoot…!"
Jumping from his arm, she landed on the back of Hammer Kong's clawed head, then leaped like a swan off him. Inverted in midair, she aimed the wand at Hammer Kong's legs. "Super Narwhal Blast!"
Instead of Narwhals, more sludge struck and accumulated at Hammer Kong's legs.
Star flipped herself and landed in a crouch, cursing under her breath as the Combat Mecha was only stuck in glittery sludge.
Hammer Kong shook his head and tried to move his legs. "WHAT IS THIS GLITTERY, GIRLY GOOP?! I HATE BEING SLAPPED WITH CAULK!"
Alfonzo and Ferguson both began laughing hysterically from their cover behind Shermie's SUV. Hammer Kong did not appreciate that.
"YOU THINK GETTING CAULK SLAPPED IS FUNNY, HUH?! LAUGH IT UP BEFORE I HAMMER YOU INTO MUSH!" Hammer Kong yelled.
"Bro, I don't swing that way!" Ferguson called back.
"WHAT'S WITH YOU MEATBAGS TURNING EVERYTHING INTO INNUENDO?!" Hammer Kong roared as steam began to hiss from his joints.
"In your end-o!" Ferguson chimed back.
"I'M GONNA SMASH THIS PLANET IN TWO!" Hammer Kong yelled, steam ejecting from all his joints and blasting the glitter sludge from his body.
One last dig, Ferguson could not help himself. "Not cool, bro, you gotta get consent, first!"
Star finished her next message on her compact at that moment. "FERGUSON! STOP MAKING IT MAD!"
Hammer Kong wound up to swing at the SUV with his left arm, when Star sprang into action, jumping onto his arm as it swung back and running along it to jump and kick Hammer Kong in the side of his hammer head. To her displeasure, her blow barely off balanced him, but did enough to cause his overextended arm to fall limp to the ground.
Star landed in front of him, wincing from how numb her leg felt after kicking so much metal, but not so numb that she couldn't dive clear of Hammer Kong's right arm coming down from above. As she landed, Hammer Kong winched in his left arm and thrust it towards her, but she nimbly jumped and twirled out of the way.
"Forget it…!" Star aimed and fired the wand again. "Green Glittery Goop Blast!"
This time the spell poured on like a out of a firehose, spraying all over Hammer Kong's chest and face. From behind the mask of goop, Star saw light shine from Hammer Kong's sole eye, and she twisted away from a laser blast that burned through it. Flipping, somersaulting, and twirling left and right, she retreated from Hammer Kong and the blasts he fired at her.
As the lasers stopped, Hammer Kong let out another frustrated yell. "STOP JUMPING AROUND AND GET HIT ALREADY!"
From his mouth slit, a barrage of glowing nails fired out, quickly growing into foot-long spears that embedded in a line up to Star, but she jumped clear of the barrage to her right.
Back behind the car, Alfonzo and Ferguson watched as Star fired another Green Glittery Goop Blast at Hammer Kong, concerned by her limited spell set.
"Hey, why isn't Star using her cool super destructive magic?" Ferguson asked.
"Yeah, that goop spell would be really useful in Pixtopia, but this isn't working." Alfonzo said.
Shermie, around at the front passenger door of the SUV, opened a case of green-colored shotgun shells, and began loading them into a Mossberg 500 shotgun he pulled from a rack in the back seat. When Ferguson and Alfonzo saw the old man calmly loading such a wicked-looking shotgun, they both grew wide-eyed in amazement and excitement.
"If she ain't using her big guns, she's probably worried about hittin' the school," the elder Pines replied as he loaded round after round into the weapon, "Last thing she wants is for that to happen."
He peeked over the hood of his SUV as Star evaded another hammer swing and got around Hammer Kong. Another Green Glittery Goop Blast to his back, finally turned the Combat Mecha around and away from the school.
"IS THAT THE ONLY SPELL YOU GOT?! NOVICE WITCHES PISS ME OFF!" The Combat Mecha yelled.
As he fired more lasers at Star, Shermie got the gist of what she was doing. "You kids stay down and outta sight, this ain't the movies," he said as he pumped the shotgun to chamber the first round.
Star was already working up a sweat as she used her acrobatics skill to make herself as difficult a target as possible for Hammer Kong. The robot's poor range of motion was working in her favor but hitting him back with anything significant was impossible with his durability.
Shoot, shoot! I have to dip down; I can't fight this guy with my wand like this! She thought before she dodged another barrage of nails that punched into a parked compact car–turning it into a fuel-efficient and environmentally friendly pincushion.
Dipping down would work, but that required time to cast and stamina. She'd need someone or something to distract Hammer Kong for her.
"Hey, ya ugly putz!" Shermie shouted to Hammer Kong's left. When the Combat Mecha turned to face him, he aimed the shotgun from behind another car. "Welcome to LA!"
He opened fire, the rounds hitting and exploding against the side of Hammer Kong's head, his left shoulder, the left side of his chest, and down at his left hammer hand. Even as the rounds exploded against him, Hammer Kong just turned his head to look at Shermie.
"IS THIS HOW YOU WELCOME PEOPLE, WITH EXPLOSIVES!" He yelled before Star caught the right side of his head with more of the Green Glittery Goop.
Shermie ducked down behind the car to reload. "Since the LA Riots!"
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I KEEP FINDING NEW LEVELS OF ANGER!" Hammer Kong yelled as he broke into a mad charge towards Star, jumped and swung both hammer hands and his face down to try to flatten her beneath them.
The magical princess, however, escaped the attack–but was left to look at the deep crater it left behind. "Oh my gosh!"
Hammer Kong stood upright. "IF YOU DON'T STOP RUNNING AROUND AND LET ME SMACK YOU INTO THE GROUND LIKE A GOOD NAIL! I'M GONNA GET REALLY ANGRY!"
Star raised her wand. "Have you tried counting to ten and calming down?!"
Extending is right arm high above his head, Hammer Kong swung down at Star. "I CAN ONLY COUNT DOWN FROM TEN!"
@@@@@
At the front doors to the gymnasium a furious Brittney pushed them open and heard the clang of Hammer Kong's hammer smash into the ground. She looked up the street to see Star narrowly avoid the blow and hit Hammer Kong with more sludge. Almost right after that, Shermie opened fire from a new position, further up the street from Hammer Kong.
Mabel gasped. "Sherpa!"
Misao looked at the rest of the street, the nails in the road in front of the school, the crater further down it, and Hammer Kong even further beyond that. "… Ah!"
Looking at the destroyed projector and the damage to the street, Brittney turned to her security. "What's going on?! Why haven't you gone after that thing?!"
One of the security personnel nearest to her turned to address her. "Before we could engage, the HVT engaged it on her own and began drawing its attention. A civilian began engaging as well, and they appear to be moving the hostile away from the school, Miss Wong. The hostile appears to be driven purely by rage and completely irrational, attacking him would've only brought its attention back this way."
Brittney looked down the street, and at Star as her agility placed her out of reach of her attacker again.
"Green Glittery Goop Blast!" Star yelled, as she avoided once more hammer swing.
Hammer Kong used that same swing to bring his arm up and block the sludge, before he turned and tried to shoulder barge her. At the last second, Star jumped and kicked off his back, landing behind him.
When his charge stopped, Hammer Kong began to turn again, when he was fired upon by Shermie again. "YOU NEED TO KNOCK IT OFF, MEAT BAG!"
"Take it back to the second rate-hardware store you crawled outta, schmuck!" Shermie defiantly taunted back.
"SECOND RATE?!" Hammer Kong fired a barrage of nails, but Shermie taking cover behind the engine block of a parked pickup truck protected him from the barrage.
"THIRD RATE!" Star yelled as she came down on him with the wand again, blasting him at point blank with another goop blast. "You can't even hammer nails right!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE THEY KEEP MOVING!" Hammer Kong yelled, trying to smash Star flat with both hands and his own face. Star jumped back from the blow at the right moment, but the force of the triple impact sent her flying back.
Misao did not like what she was seeing. "Her magic is still not working."
Mabel agreed. "No, she's still bugged like crazy by something."
Brittney crushed the fan in her hand as she realized what Star was doing.
"Mabel," she barked, and Mabel looked at her.
"What?"
Brittney held out her hand. "Give me back the scissors, go back inside, and tell the DJ to turn up the music. Don't let anybody leave unless it looks like that thing is coming back this way."
She looked back at her. "Smother them with that charisma of yours."
Misao tilted her head to one side as she stared at Brittney. "And what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to get Star the scissors… and some security I hired are going to earn their bonuses."
Mabel lit up into a big smile. Without another question, she handed the scissors to her. "You can count on us!"
Misao agreed. "Ja, you will be careful as well!"
As they headed inside, Mabel pulled out her phone and began texting out an SOS. She knew Drew and Roland wouldn't be able to slip out of the dance… but there was still her brother, Marco, and Jo she could reach.
Brittney let the door close behind her and walked towards the street, the Dimension Scissors in hand. Looking at Star's position, she saw her slowly get up as she watched Hammer Kong rise from his own crouch to face her.
"I can do this all night!" Star taunted, even though she was pretty sure she couldn't.
Hammer Kong slammed his hands together. "I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER!"
More explosive rounds struck Hammer Kong, and the angry machine quickly turned his attention back on the old man. "I'LL HAMMER YOU ALL UNTIL THE SUN BURNS OUT!"
Before Star could take advantage of the diversion, she heard Brittney call out. "Hey! Star Butterfly!"
Star, surprised to hear Brittney's voice, looked past Hammer Kong in time to see her cut open a portal, creating a second one beside her.
"Get rid of that stupid thing!" Brittney yelled as she threw the scissors into her portal. "And for the next song I'll dance with you!"
Her eyes widening, and a smile spreading across her face, Star caught the scissors turned as Hammer Kong as the Combat Mecha peppered the truck Shermie hid behind. Springing into a run Star jumped in front of Hammer Kong and slashed open the air with the Dimensional Scissors.
Hammer Kong's laser bolts lanced into the portal, and blasted into him from above, damaging him for the first time since his attack began.
"Wha… whu?" Hammer Kong asked as the Combat Mecha felt that. "What… did… you… do…?"
As the portal closed, Star opened up a smaller portal, and the end of a handle slipped out of it. "Something that I wish I'd done earlier, but I'm gonna get to really doing now…"
Slowly Star pulled a long-shafted war hammer out of the portal, one of the many weapons stored in her room. Giving it a quick test swing, she nodded. "This should do the trick, and hey! We match, now!"
Red light poured from Hammer Kong's face holes, as he slammed his hammers together. "YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT ME WITH THAT PUNY INSULT TO HAMMERS?!"
Star charged Hammer Kong, calling to Shermie as she closed in. "Mr. Pines! Back me up, please!"
"You got it, girlchik!" Shermie yelled as he fired again at Hammer Kong's head, the frag rounds exploding just behind the right side of his face and against his neck.
When the blasts distracted the berserk bot, Star jumped and swung the hammer, smashing it into the same spot Shermie hit. This time, there was a massive clang, and Hammer Kong was sent stumbling to his left.
Landing, Star charged forward. "I'm not done yet!"
She smashed Hammer Kong in the chest, a ringing sound reverberating as the Combat Mecha staggered backward from her. She ran up to him, jumped and swung the war hammer down, striking Hammer Kong atop his head and forcing him to bow down.
"You're not…"
Landing, she turned in place and smashed the hammer into the left side of his head, sending him hobbling back the way he came.
"… Getting anywhere near…"
She pursued him, raising the war hammer above her head and smashing it into Hammer Kong's back, driving him off his footing and sending him crashing down onto the ground face first.
"THAT DANCE!"
Stepping back, panting, Star spun the hammer in her right hand behind her, twirled it around above her head in her left hand, and then caught it in both to point the head at Hammer Kong. "How's that for puny, you cheap robot?!"
Shermie called over. "Nice shot, kiddo! I'm outta ammo, can you handle it solo while I go reload?!"
Star watched as Hammer Kong began to get back up. "I've got no choice either way, go–!"
Hammer Kong then raised his hammers and smashed them into the ground so hard that the street beneath him exploded. Shermie ducked down, narrowly avoiding flying glass and shrapnel as the car's windows broke, and Star quickly leaped back as she was pelted by pieces of street flying at high speed.
Launched into the air by his own attack on the ground, Hammer Kong reached the top of his flight and fell towards Star. "YOU DAMAGED ME! NOT EVEN MY OWN CREATOR DAMAGED ME!"
Star scrambled, getting far enough away from Hammer Kong again for his impact with the ground to just send her flying rather than turn her into paste. Lifted off her feet and tumbling through the air, Star lost her war hammer and landed hard, rolling along the street before she sprang up to her feet and stopped.
"I'M GONNA HAMMER YOU… ALL YOU MEATBAGS… THEN I'M GONNA GO BACK AND HAMMER NOXIC… THEN I'M GONNA HAMMER THIS ENTIRE PLANET… AND THEN I'M GONNA HAMMER NOXIC SOME MORE!"
Star shook the cobwebs out of her head. "Why don't you just go hammer Noxic?!"
"DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU NAIL!" Hammer Kong roared back, smashing his hammer hands together. "I'LL SMASH ALL OF YOU! UNTIL THIS WHOLE UNIVERSE IS ONE BIG NAIL DRIVEN INTO NOTHING!"
Star tightened her grip on her hammer. "Uuugh… you are so obnoxious! I wish you would be quiet!"
A faint thud echoed in the distance, before Star saw something descend from on high, falling straight for Hammer Kong. An instant later, the Red Strikerborg crashed down onto Hammer Kong, her punch flattening him into the ground and making an even deeper pit in the street.
Behind her mask, Jo glared coldly down at Hammer Kong as she drew the Input Magnum and pointed it at his head. "How does it feel to be the nail?"
She fired repeated shots into the robot, multiple explosions going off, before with a roar Hammer Kong swung its arm back at her, forcing her to leap off him.
Jo landed on the street, right beside Star, and looked back at the crater Hammer Kong was getting up out of. "Crap… of all the Combat Mecha, why this one?"
Star looked at her. "Strikerborg, what are we up against?"
"Hammer Kong is one of Noxic's most heavily armored monsters in the comic. It took bringing out all three AVs and even Gargantis to finally take him down." Strikerborg revealed. "Just our luck, it's exactly as tough IRL as it is in the comics… my Input Magnum only scorched it!"
Star looked at Jo. "We'll never break him trying to pen."
Jo looked at Star. "Huh?"
"It's gotta be brute force," Star said, "Armor's no good if you can hit what's underneath it until it cracks from inside out."
She looked ahead at Hammer Kong as he slowly stomped out of the crater. "If my magic worked, we'd wear him down faster… but it doesn't."
Jo frowned behind her mask. "It's not working?"
"That green goop! It's been like this for days now, I can't cast any other spell from the wand because the wand's messed up!"
"HEY! RED ROBOT!" Hammer Kong bellowed. "IT'S YOUR TURN TO BE THE NAIL!"
Brittney Wong retorted. "Ugh, shut up."
Heavy caliber gunfire crashed into Hammer Kong, as the security detail Brittney Wong hired to protect the dance unloaded on Hammer Kong with Light Machine Guns, Anti-Material Rifles, and hand cannons.
Star gave a start. "Whoa!"
The Red Strikerborg looked at the security personnel. "What the hell…?!"
Pulling her phone out, Brittney hit a speed dial contact and brought it to her ear. After a single ring, a cheerful woman answered the call.
"Hench Co, because why get upset when you can have people get upset for you?"
"This is Brittney Wong," Brittney replied as she pointed her phone at Hammer Kong and took a picture of him, "Condition Black: Slip the leads."
"At once, Miss Wong, we're releasing the hounds now!" The woman on the other end of the line happily replied.
As Hammer Kong raised his right arm to protect himself from the gunfire, the barrage ended and was replaced by a new sound filling the air that the Combat Mecha had never heard before. Behind Shermie's car, as the elder Pines reached it, he, Alfonzo, and Ferguson heard it as well… the rustling buzz of thousands of cicadas.
The sound was replaced by a thunderous galloping, and then the bellowing moo of an enraged bull seconds before a pair of massive machines passed on either side of Jo and Star.
Hammer Kong lowered the hammer in time to see two strange machines rear up over him. Both resembled a tank turret perched atop a pair of long digitigrade legs that gave them simultaneously a birdlike and reptilian appearance. Each one had lifted a leg off the ground, before unceremoniously driving them into Hammer Kong's chest as powerful kicks that sent the Combat Mecha bouncing back up the street.
Star looked up at the machines, and just blurted out in amazement and excitement. "… WHAT ARE THOSE?!"
Ferguson knew what they were and yelled at Brittney. "Dude, you seriously brought Gekko UGs as security for your freaking dance?!"
"Of course, I did!" Brittney shouted back.
After a short instant, Ferguson answered. "THIS IS THE COOLEST DANCE I NEVER GOT INVITED TO!"
Shermie whistled. "Wow… didn't think you could get Shol Par commercially."
Noticing the elder Pines and seeing the gun in his hands, Strikerborg called out to him. "Mr. Pines! We've got this under control! I need you to go to Hillhurst, right now!"
Shermie lowered his weapon. "You sure you got this, Red?"
"Between all of us, we got this," Strikerborg said. "Now, go, the clock is ticking!"
His eyes narrowing, Shermie recognized the urgency in her voice. "Roger." He turned and headed back to his vehicle, calling to Alfonzo and Ferguson. "Hey, Laurel and Hardy! We gotta skedaddle!"
"Why us?" Ferguson asked.
"Because this ain't no place for civvies, and I gotta go pick up my grandson and your friend. Let's get moving!" Shermie said as he climbed into his SUV. Looking to each other, Alfonzo and Ferguson shrugged their shoulders and climbed into the vehicle as well.
Brittney looked away from Hammer Kong as one of the Gekkos turned and back-kicked the Combat Mecha, allowing the other to jump and stomp on him with both feet, and called over to Star and Jo. "Hey! Are you going to finish that thing off or not?!"
Star called back. "Uh… just a second! We're working on a strategy~!""
Satisfied that Shermie was on his way out, Strikerborg reached out and placed a hand on Star's shoulder. "Star."
Star paused looked at her. "What?"
Behind her mask, Jo took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, for everything. I shouldn't have treated you or anyone else like I have, and I don't want there to be anymore drama between us."
Star brightened. "… Really?"
"Yeah," Jo replied. "I've got your back from now on… I'm not gonna act like a punk brat anymore."
Star literally brightened this time, the light filling her cheek marks as the green, sickly glow slowly faded from her wand. She could feel it, not just in the wand but in her whole body as the dark clouds that hung over were finally cleared. "All right, then I've got your back, too! And I'm gonna try to be less of a total spazzo."
Jo turned towards Hammer Kong. "Actually? I think right now, you need to be a total spazzo more than ever."
With an apoplectic yell, Hammer Kong swung his right-hand hammer into the legs of the Gekko stomping on him. The UG was sent flying and crashed to the ground as the second unit jumped back and imposed itself between Hammer Kong and the downed unit. Still yelling, Hammer Kong lunged forward onto his hammer hands and hammer feet before pushing himself up to standing.
"I hate this world…! I hate everything in it!" He boomed. "So many nails… so many freaking nails… that don't! KNOW! THEIR! PLACE!"
Taking the Royal Magic Wand in her right hand, and the Dimensional Scissors in the other, Star twirled them as the glow in her cheek marks appeared in her pupils and spread across the whites of her eyes.
"Strikerborg?" When Strikerborg looked over at her she asked aloud, so Hammer Kong heard it. "What do you say to the villains when the heroes show up to save the day?"
Jo grinned and turned back to Hammer Kong. "You say… run."
Hammer Kong let out a roar as he charged a laser. "I'LL RUN YOU DOWN!"
The Combat Mecha opened fire, targeting Star, but only hitting the chest and helmet of The Red Strikerborg, explosions of sparks and smoke erupting off her armor as she ran into the barrage of beams and pulled her right arm for a punch.
When she reached him, Hammer Kong's own flexible right arm was already up and coming down to smash Strikerborg flat. With a yell, Strikerborg aimed her superpowered punch into Hammer Kong's falling blow. When their fists crashed into one another with a near deafening clang, a shockwave rippled outward visible from the air it condensed.
The blast struck Star with enough force to send her flipping backward through the air in surprise. "Whoa-whoa!"
Recovering in mid-air, she slashed the air behind her with the Dimensional Scissors and disappeared into the portal she created. Behind her, the blast struck Brittney and her security detail, nearly knocking the cyborgs off their feet; Brittney herself, however, stood firm as her hair whipped behind her and watched resolutely.
His hammer grinding against her fist, Hammer Kong snarled. "DON'T THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BUDGE, YOU'RE JUST A STUBBORN NAIL!"
Appearing out of the exit portal above the two and slightly to Jo's left, Star spun like an axle as she fell. When she reached him, she swung out her wand. "WILL YOU SHUT UP?! RAINBOW FIST PUNCH!"
Instead of green glitter, the colors of the rainbow swirled from Star's wand, coating it and becoming a fist of light that hit Hammer Kong. To the Combat Mecha's shock, blow connected with enough force to lift him off his feet. Lunging forward, Strikerborg plowed a left hook into the lifted Hammer Kong's waist, knocking him backward and up the street.
The Red Strikerborg wasn't going to let him get away, using her super strength to leap after and overtake Hammer Kong in mid-air, swinging her right hand down in a powerful punch.
The super strength and Beetleborg powered blow connected with Hammer Kong's chest, and the robot's horizontal flight was diverted into the vertical into the street. Coming out on the other side, Strikerborg tumbled and jumped back onto her feet to face the plume.
"You're just one angry son of a bitch, huh?!" She asked. "But don't worry, I get it!"
As Hammer Kong lay in the shallow crater his body made, he lifted his dented and scorched head up. "THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GONNA GET, IS SMASHED INTO SCRAP!"
A small portal opened just beneath him. On the other side of that portal, Star aimed her wand at it as the glow in her cheeks and eyes brightened.
"Mega Geyser Windstorm!"
In a flash of blue light, the Wand conjured a torrent of steaming water that shot into the portal, and the plume of smoke and dust that marked where Hammer Kong lay was replaced by a geyser that launched the Combat Mecha into the sky over ten meters.
Above the geyser, Hammer Kong tumbled end over end, screaming, before gravity brought him falling back down. Spotting the glowing yellow eyes of Strikerborg below him, Hammer Kong yelled and swung his left hammer down at her.
His punch met another uppercut from Strikerborg, the two blows meeting canceled all of Hammer Kong's downward momentum, and cracks appeared in the head of his left hammer and beneath her feet.
As the Combat Mecha hung in the air, as if balanced on her fist, she called out. "It feels so good to be angry, doesn't it?!"
A portal opened behind Strikerborg and Star leaped out of it to the Beetleborg's right, aiming the wand at him.
"Super Shooting Star Explosion!"
With her yell, three large spinning yellow stars flew from their wand. The first one smashed into him, knocking him backward from Strikerborg. The second star hit even harder, causing the Combat Mecha to bounce off the ground and into the third spinning star. When that star exploded, Hammer Kong was propelled in a straight trajectory up the street like a missile.
One of the cyborgs, the head of the protection detail, watched this in quiet disbelief. "What… what are we looking at?"
Up the street, towards the intersection the school ended at, another portal opened, and a stream of Crashing Mode fire emerged from it, followed by Strikerborg herself holding down the trigger of the Input Magnum. The bolts exploded all over Hammer Kong's body with growing frequency and intensity as the distance between them closed.
The head of the detail reached up to his sunglasses. "… This is real, isn't it?"
He looked at Brittney, who was still standing in front of them, watching the fight with her arms folded.
Star swiped the air with the scissors and her war hammer slipped through it to it to land on her shoulder. Putting away the scissors, she caught the hammer's shaft in one hand and her wand over it before tossing the wand straight up. The medieval weapon transformed, the head becoming larger and the flat head becoming a rocket exhaust pipe that erupted with a magical exhaust, before the wand came down for Star to catch in her teeth.
Screaming in rage, Hammer Kong landed on his feet and stumbled as he lunged with a right arm swing at Strikerborg. "GO DOWN, YOU NAIL!"
Strikerborg did down ducking under the swing and punching him in the chest with a right of her own to make him step back. "You don't have to feel anything else!"
When he retaliated with a diagonal swing using his left, she weaved the other way and hit that same spot with a left. "You can't be sad, afraid, or inadequate if you're raging at everything!"
"RAGING IS ALL I KNOW!" Hammer Kong spat nails down at Strikerborg, the projectiles cutting small divots into her armor as she turned herself around and performed one of Marco's crescent kicks. Her form was sloppy, ungraceful, but her strength more than made up for it.
The blow connected with the side of Hammer Kong's head turning his whole body in place so he could face Star. Her war hammer's engine spewing flame, bunnies, rainbows, stars, and unicorn ponies, the Princess hurtled at the combat mecha at high speed before she planted her feet and swung into a full circle, gathering momentum so that on her second rotation she caught Hammer Kong right in the cracked and split armor of his chest.
Gripping the rocket hammer with all her might and biting down hard enough she thought her teeth could crack, Star let out a yell and continued her swing–the rocket engine's output growing into a solid, sparkling flame as she lifted Hammer Kong off his feet and began to swing him around and around.
Hammer Kong howled as he began to spin around faster and faster. "NO! I'M BREAKING! STOP!"
"GOOD!" Star yelled as she jumped and twisted her body, the rocket motor carrying her and Hammer Kong straight up. "BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN ANNOYING JERK!"
With one more scream, she swung Hammer Kong straight down at the ground, yelling to Strikerborg as she did.
"END HIM!"
When Hammer Kong struck the street it shattered, the explosion of dust and dirt rocketing upward and spreading out to obscure all the combatants. Seeing such a display of force and ferocity, Brittney let out a quiet gasp as her eyes grew wider.
Hammer Kong had struck the ground so hard that this time he had bounced–his massive, armored body floating upright as the cloud of dust his impact made was suddenly cleared over the whine of a turbine. In front of the Combat Mecha the Red Strikerborg stood with her right arm raised and the whirling Striker Plasmar crackling with power as it reached maximum RPM–a spinning cone of plasma coated her arm like the flame from an afterburning jet engine.
Behind her mask, Jo let out a joyful little laugh. "Annoying is right, that's all angry people who can do nothing but lash out at everything will ever be."
She pulled one of Star's twirls–building all the momentum she'd need for her punch.
"I won't let my anger turn me into something as pathetic as you."
Like a comet, Strikerborg's punch crashed into Hammer Kong's torso, and the Beetleborg yelled out.
"TORNADO SPARK!"
A thunderous crackling, as loud as Jo's yell, followed as her fist connected and Hammer Kong was blasted into the air like a Railgun bolt.
The ground shuddered under Jo's feet, and every window for blocks warped and rattled as the tumbling Combat Mecha, torn in half by the blow hurtled skyward towards the moon overhead.
Star had just hit the ground when the force of Strikerborg's finisher almost knocked her over, the same blast catching Brittney's hair and dress like a strong breeze while once more her security was caught off guard and buffeted by its force.
Inside the gymnasium, the entire building shook slightly, drawing the attention of the dance's attendees, Mabel and Misao looking upward with surprise as the lights briefly flickered and the windows wobbled.
Reaching the apex of his flight, plasma sparking and jets of flame shooting from his broken body, Hammer Kong looked at the empty, moonlit-sky above and let out a final, furious lament.
"I'm still mad."
Hammer Kong exploded, a smaller blast that tore him apart followed by a much larger one that vaporized his remains and lit up the night.
Star, catching her footing, grinned at the explosion a big smile on her face. "That's what I'm talking about!"
Behind her, as she began to do a victory dance, the stunned cyborg security personnel could only continue to stare at the light. The head of the detail lowering his glasses so his prosthetic eyes could take in all of it clearly.
A distance away, Ferguson and Alfonzo looked back when they saw the sky light up.
"What was that…?" Alfonzo asked.
Ferguson, watching the explosion, just shrugged his shoulders. "It's Star, she probably finally stopped holding back." He let out an indignant snort. "After we all leave!"
Shermie checked his driver side mirror to glance at the blast after pulling into Hillhurst's long driveway and let out a laugh. "That's certainly enough boom to be the case!"
On the roof of the school, her arms folded, and her cloak closed around her, Jara watched Hammer Kong's body disappear with the last of his fury and flame.
Uncaring of an angry idiot's end, Brittney's eyes were locked on Star and Strikerborg. Focusing on the former, she nodded slowly as a new appreciation and understanding reached her.
Star Butterfly, the magical princess, the psychopath with no impulse control, the idiot from another world…
"Ah… I get it."
Her right arm still extended skyward, Strikerborg held the position as the Striker Plasmar snapped into their locked position, arcs of red energy crackling from her arm to her body and the ground beneath her. Slowly, she lowered it and looked at Star, who turned her grin onto her.
Behind the mask, Jo let out a small laugh as she had a single thought after seeing Star go all out and tag team a monster with her.
My friends are the coolest.
Anger purged.
= - = 6-9 = - =
|Hammer Down the Nails|
|Hammer Down the Nails|
Across the street from the school, Shermie and Ferguson were enjoying their third sodas of the evening, while Star and Alfonzo were fiercely debating his economic development plans for Pixtopia.
"Wh-whu-?! Tax the…?! Why would you tax the peasantry?!" Star demanded of Alfonzo, after hearing of his economic plans for the Pixie Kingdom.
Alfonzo shrugged his shoulders. "Why not?"
Star slapped the back of her right palm into her left hand. "The peasants already do all the labor, and they barely have any money as it is! Do you want a peasant uprising? Because that's how you get a peasant uprising!"
The vehemence of Star's answer surprised Alfonzo. "Well, I can't tax the nobility, they always threaten to revolt when I raise the taxes on them."
Star groaned. "Alfonzo, you're the absolute and tyrannical ruler of Pixtopia. If the noblility revolts, you can just crush them, take their crap, and give it to someone who plays ball. There's only a few of them, you can replace them anytime with anyone! If you get a peasant revolt, you have to crush a lot of guys!"
That was Alfonzo hadn't considered. "… Huh! Smashing a few nobles does sound easier than razing entire cities…"
Star snapped her fingers and pointed at him. "Exactly! Plus, smashing a single house of nobility means that the rest of the kingdom's infrastructure keeps running smoothly. Use that monopoly of force, Alfonzo, crush the rich and redistribute their wealth to someone who can do the job!"
Ferguson raised his hand to his mouth to whisper aside to Shermie. "Uhh… Mr. Pines? I don't think I like where this conversation is headed?"
"Not exactly fond of it myself, kiddo. But I'm thinking they know something we don't. After all, we ain't from around there." Shermie replied.
"Okay, then," Alfonzo said as he gestured to Star with his soda, "What about representative democracy?"
Star held a hand up to about her height. "Pixtopia needs to be this literate for democracy to work."
Alfonzo nodded. "Oh, I can't do that, then," he said before holding his hand at about the height of Star's knees, "Because Pixtopia is about this literate."
"Yeah, that's about right." Star agreed.
Loud clanging footsteps began to fill the air, drawing the attention of Star, Shermie, Ferguson, and Alfonzo along with the dance's security down the street. Marching straight down the middle of the street, his head tilted up towards the flashing holographic marquee, was a seething and grumbling Hammer Kong.
"Oh cool, what's that?!" Ferguson said.
Alfonzo recognized it. "Hey, that's Hammer Hands, from Big Bad Beetleborgs!"
Star and Shermie both looked at Alfonzo with alarm, with the former asking, "Wait, are you sure…?!"
The Combat Mecha followed the streaming beams of light down to their source and saw the gymnasium with lights flashing faintly in the windows. Looking at the hologram emitter, he let out an angry growl before unleashing a burst of lasers from his sole eye, destroying it.
And like that Star got up and began running straight towards Hammer Kong.
"HEY!" Hammer Kong shouted at the dance security as they quickly drew firearms and pointed them at the Combat Mecha. "WHAT IS A SPIRIT WEEK BY WONG AND WHY IS IT SO IMPORTANT, HUH?!"
"Unknown combat cyborg," one of the security personnel said as he stepped closer with a bead drawn on Hammer Kong, "You're trespassing with hostile intent. Leave the area immediately."
Hammer Kong slammed his hammer hands together. "CYBORG?! CYBORG?! DID YOU JUST MISCATEGORIZE ME AS A CAN OF MEAT?!"
"HEY!"
Hammer Kong turned from the guards to Star, who stood in the middle of the street, holding her wand at her left side.
"I don't know what your deal is, but you're not going anywhere near that dance," she said resolutely.
Hammer Kong was mildly perturbed by that. "A dance? THERE'S A FREAKING DANCE OVER THERE?!"
He raised his hands above his head. "I HATE DANCING! I WASN'T PROGRAMMED WITH RHYTHM!"
Star got ready and then said as she replied, "Then let me teach you!"
And she was gone, running straight at Hammer Kong as a green glow built around the head of her wand.
Hammer Kong let out a metallic screech. "OH GOOD, YOU WANNA BE A NAIL!"
Rearing back, Hammer Kong let his right arm extend backward before swinging it up and over his head down where Star would be. "KONG CRUSH!"
Instead of flattening Star, the hammer smashed into the street, as Star sidestepped the weapon. Jumping onto Hammer Kong's arm, she ran up the overextended limb before pointing her wand at his face.
"Laser Beam Blast!" Star shouted, and the wand responded with nothing but more of the green goop from before, splattering it all over Hammer Kong's minimalist face. "Shoot…!"
Jumping from his arm, she landed on the back of Hammer Kong's clawed head, then leaped like a swan off him. Inverted in midair, she aimed the wand at Hammer Kong's legs. "Super Narwhal Blast!"
Instead of Narwhals, more sludge struck and accumulated at Hammer Kong's legs.
Star flipped herself and landed in a crouch, cursing under her breath as the Combat Mecha was only stuck in glittery sludge.
Hammer Kong shook his head and tried to move his legs. "WHAT IS THIS GLITTERY, GIRLY GOOP?! I HATE BEING SLAPPED WITH CAULK!"
Alfonzo and Ferguson both began laughing hysterically from their cover behind Shermie's SUV. Hammer Kong did not appreciate that.
"YOU THINK GETTING CAULK SLAPPED IS FUNNY, HUH?! LAUGH IT UP BEFORE I HAMMER YOU INTO MUSH!" Hammer Kong yelled.
"Bro, I don't swing that way!" Ferguson called back.
"WHAT'S WITH YOU MEATBAGS TURNING EVERYTHING INTO INNUENDO?!" Hammer Kong roared as steam began to hiss from his joints.
"In your end-o!" Ferguson chimed back.
"I'M GONNA SMASH THIS PLANET IN TWO!" Hammer Kong yelled, steam ejecting from all his joints and blasting the glitter sludge from his body.
One last dig, Ferguson could not help himself. "Not cool, bro, you gotta get consent, first!"
Star finished her next message on her compact at that moment. "FERGUSON! STOP MAKING IT MAD!"
Hammer Kong wound up to swing at the SUV with his left arm, when Star sprang into action, jumping onto his arm as it swung back and running along it to jump and kick Hammer Kong in the side of his hammer head. To her displeasure, her blow barely off balanced him, but did enough to cause his overextended arm to fall limp to the ground.
Star landed in front of him, wincing from how numb her leg felt after kicking so much metal, but not so numb that she couldn't dive clear of Hammer Kong's right arm coming down from above. As she landed, Hammer Kong winched in his left arm and thrust it towards her, but she nimbly jumped and twirled out of the way.
"Forget it…!" Star aimed and fired the wand again. "Green Glittery Goop Blast!"
This time the spell poured on like a out of a firehose, spraying all over Hammer Kong's chest and face. From behind the mask of goop, Star saw light shine from Hammer Kong's sole eye, and she twisted away from a laser blast that burned through it. Flipping, somersaulting, and twirling left and right, she retreated from Hammer Kong and the blasts he fired at her.
As the lasers stopped, Hammer Kong let out another frustrated yell. "STOP JUMPING AROUND AND GET HIT ALREADY!"
From his mouth slit, a barrage of glowing nails fired out, quickly growing into foot-long spears that embedded in a line up to Star, but she jumped clear of the barrage to her right.
Back behind the car, Alfonzo and Ferguson watched as Star fired another Green Glittery Goop Blast at Hammer Kong, concerned by her limited spell set.
"Hey, why isn't Star using her cool super destructive magic?" Ferguson asked.
"Yeah, that goop spell would be really useful in Pixtopia, but this isn't working." Alfonzo said.
Shermie, around at the front passenger door of the SUV, opened a case of green-colored shotgun shells, and began loading them into a Mossberg 500 shotgun he pulled from a rack in the back seat. When Ferguson and Alfonzo saw the old man calmly loading such a wicked-looking shotgun, they both grew wide-eyed in amazement and excitement.
"If she ain't using her big guns, she's probably worried about hittin' the school," the elder Pines replied as he loaded round after round into the weapon, "Last thing she wants is for that to happen."
He peeked over the hood of his SUV as Star evaded another hammer swing and got around Hammer Kong. Another Green Glittery Goop Blast to his back, finally turned the Combat Mecha around and away from the school.
"IS THAT THE ONLY SPELL YOU GOT?! NOVICE WITCHES PISS ME OFF!" The Combat Mecha yelled.
As he fired more lasers at Star, Shermie got the gist of what she was doing. "You kids stay down and outta sight, this ain't the movies," he said as he pumped the shotgun to chamber the first round.
Star was already working up a sweat as she used her acrobatics skill to make herself as difficult a target as possible for Hammer Kong. The robot's poor range of motion was working in her favor but hitting him back with anything significant was impossible with his durability.
Shoot, shoot! I have to dip down; I can't fight this guy with my wand like this! She thought before she dodged another barrage of nails that punched into a parked compact car–turning it into a fuel-efficient and environmentally friendly pincushion.
Dipping down would work, but that required time to cast and stamina. She'd need someone or something to distract Hammer Kong for her.
"Hey, ya ugly putz!" Shermie shouted to Hammer Kong's left. When the Combat Mecha turned to face him, he aimed the shotgun from behind another car. "Welcome to LA!"
He opened fire, the rounds hitting and exploding against the side of Hammer Kong's head, his left shoulder, the left side of his chest, and down at his left hammer hand. Even as the rounds exploded against him, Hammer Kong just turned his head to look at Shermie.
"IS THIS HOW YOU WELCOME PEOPLE, WITH EXPLOSIVES!" He yelled before Star caught the right side of his head with more of the Green Glittery Goop.
Shermie ducked down behind the car to reload. "Since the LA Riots!"
"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I KEEP FINDING NEW LEVELS OF ANGER!" Hammer Kong yelled as he broke into a mad charge towards Star, jumped and swung both hammer hands and his face down to try to flatten her beneath them.
The magical princess, however, escaped the attack–but was left to look at the deep crater it left behind. "Oh my gosh!"
Hammer Kong stood upright. "IF YOU DON'T STOP RUNNING AROUND AND LET ME SMACK YOU INTO THE GROUND LIKE A GOOD NAIL! I'M GONNA GET REALLY ANGRY!"
Star raised her wand. "Have you tried counting to ten and calming down?!"
Extending is right arm high above his head, Hammer Kong swung down at Star. "I CAN ONLY COUNT DOWN FROM TEN!"
@@@@@
At the front doors to the gymnasium a furious Brittney pushed them open and heard the clang of Hammer Kong's hammer smash into the ground. She looked up the street to see Star narrowly avoid the blow and hit Hammer Kong with more sludge. Almost right after that, Shermie opened fire from a new position, further up the street from Hammer Kong.
Mabel gasped. "Sherpa!"
Misao looked at the rest of the street, the nails in the road in front of the school, the crater further down it, and Hammer Kong even further beyond that. "… Ah!"
Looking at the destroyed projector and the damage to the street, Brittney turned to her security. "What's going on?! Why haven't you gone after that thing?!"
One of the security personnel nearest to her turned to address her. "Before we could engage, the HVT engaged it on her own and began drawing its attention. A civilian began engaging as well, and they appear to be moving the hostile away from the school, Miss Wong. The hostile appears to be driven purely by rage and completely irrational, attacking him would've only brought its attention back this way."
Brittney looked down the street, and at Star as her agility placed her out of reach of her attacker again.
"Green Glittery Goop Blast!" Star yelled, as she avoided once more hammer swing.
Hammer Kong used that same swing to bring his arm up and block the sludge, before he turned and tried to shoulder barge her. At the last second, Star jumped and kicked off his back, landing behind him.
When his charge stopped, Hammer Kong began to turn again, when he was fired upon by Shermie again. "YOU NEED TO KNOCK IT OFF, MEAT BAG!"
"Take it back to the second rate-hardware store you crawled outta, schmuck!" Shermie defiantly taunted back.
"SECOND RATE?!" Hammer Kong fired a barrage of nails, but Shermie taking cover behind the engine block of a parked pickup truck protected him from the barrage.
"THIRD RATE!" Star yelled as she came down on him with the wand again, blasting him at point blank with another goop blast. "You can't even hammer nails right!"
"THAT'S BECAUSE THEY KEEP MOVING!" Hammer Kong yelled, trying to smash Star flat with both hands and his own face. Star jumped back from the blow at the right moment, but the force of the triple impact sent her flying back.
Misao did not like what she was seeing. "Her magic is still not working."
Mabel agreed. "No, she's still bugged like crazy by something."
Brittney crushed the fan in her hand as she realized what Star was doing.
"Mabel," she barked, and Mabel looked at her.
"What?"
Brittney held out her hand. "Give me back the scissors, go back inside, and tell the DJ to turn up the music. Don't let anybody leave unless it looks like that thing is coming back this way."
She looked back at her. "Smother them with that charisma of yours."
Misao tilted her head to one side as she stared at Brittney. "And what are you going to do?"
"I'm going to get Star the scissors… and some security I hired are going to earn their bonuses."
Mabel lit up into a big smile. Without another question, she handed the scissors to her. "You can count on us!"
Misao agreed. "Ja, you will be careful as well!"
As they headed inside, Mabel pulled out her phone and began texting out an SOS. She knew Drew and Roland wouldn't be able to slip out of the dance… but there was still her brother, Marco, and Jo she could reach.
Brittney let the door close behind her and walked towards the street, the Dimension Scissors in hand. Looking at Star's position, she saw her slowly get up as she watched Hammer Kong rise from his own crouch to face her.
"I can do this all night!" Star taunted, even though she was pretty sure she couldn't.
Hammer Kong slammed his hands together. "I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOREVER!"
More explosive rounds struck Hammer Kong, and the angry machine quickly turned his attention back on the old man. "I'LL HAMMER YOU ALL UNTIL THE SUN BURNS OUT!"
Before Star could take advantage of the diversion, she heard Brittney call out. "Hey! Star Butterfly!"
Star, surprised to hear Brittney's voice, looked past Hammer Kong in time to see her cut open a portal, creating a second one beside her.
"Get rid of that stupid thing!" Brittney yelled as she threw the scissors into her portal. "And for the next song I'll dance with you!"
Her eyes widening, and a smile spreading across her face, Star caught the scissors turned as Hammer Kong as the Combat Mecha peppered the truck Shermie hid behind. Springing into a run Star jumped in front of Hammer Kong and slashed open the air with the Dimensional Scissors.
Hammer Kong's laser bolts lanced into the portal, and blasted into him from above, damaging him for the first time since his attack began.
"Wha… whu?" Hammer Kong asked as the Combat Mecha felt that. "What… did… you… do…?"
As the portal closed, Star opened up a smaller portal, and the end of a handle slipped out of it. "Something that I wish I'd done earlier, but I'm gonna get to really doing now…"
Slowly Star pulled a long-shafted war hammer out of the portal, one of the many weapons stored in her room. Giving it a quick test swing, she nodded. "This should do the trick, and hey! We match, now!"
Red light poured from Hammer Kong's face holes, as he slammed his hammers together. "YOU'RE GONNA FIGHT ME WITH THAT PUNY INSULT TO HAMMERS?!"
Star charged Hammer Kong, calling to Shermie as she closed in. "Mr. Pines! Back me up, please!"
"You got it, girlchik!" Shermie yelled as he fired again at Hammer Kong's head, the frag rounds exploding just behind the right side of his face and against his neck.
When the blasts distracted the berserk bot, Star jumped and swung the hammer, smashing it into the same spot Shermie hit. This time, there was a massive clang, and Hammer Kong was sent stumbling to his left.
Landing, Star charged forward. "I'm not done yet!"
She smashed Hammer Kong in the chest, a ringing sound reverberating as the Combat Mecha staggered backward from her. She ran up to him, jumped and swung the war hammer down, striking Hammer Kong atop his head and forcing him to bow down.
"You're not…"
Landing, she turned in place and smashed the hammer into the left side of his head, sending him hobbling back the way he came.
"… Getting anywhere near…"
She pursued him, raising the war hammer above her head and smashing it into Hammer Kong's back, driving him off his footing and sending him crashing down onto the ground face first.
"THAT DANCE!"
Stepping back, panting, Star spun the hammer in her right hand behind her, twirled it around above her head in her left hand, and then caught it in both to point the head at Hammer Kong. "How's that for puny, you cheap robot?!"
Shermie called over. "Nice shot, kiddo! I'm outta ammo, can you handle it solo while I go reload?!"
Star watched as Hammer Kong began to get back up. "I've got no choice either way, go–!"
Hammer Kong then raised his hammers and smashed them into the ground so hard that the street beneath him exploded. Shermie ducked down, narrowly avoiding flying glass and shrapnel as the car's windows broke, and Star quickly leaped back as she was pelted by pieces of street flying at high speed.
Launched into the air by his own attack on the ground, Hammer Kong reached the top of his flight and fell towards Star. "YOU DAMAGED ME! NOT EVEN MY OWN CREATOR DAMAGED ME!"
Star scrambled, getting far enough away from Hammer Kong again for his impact with the ground to just send her flying rather than turn her into paste. Lifted off her feet and tumbling through the air, Star lost her war hammer and landed hard, rolling along the street before she sprang up to her feet and stopped.
"I'M GONNA HAMMER YOU… ALL YOU MEATBAGS… THEN I'M GONNA GO BACK AND HAMMER NOXIC… THEN I'M GONNA HAMMER THIS ENTIRE PLANET… AND THEN I'M GONNA HAMMER NOXIC SOME MORE!"
Star shook the cobwebs out of her head. "Why don't you just go hammer Noxic?!"
"DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO, YOU NAIL!" Hammer Kong roared back, smashing his hammer hands together. "I'LL SMASH ALL OF YOU! UNTIL THIS WHOLE UNIVERSE IS ONE BIG NAIL DRIVEN INTO NOTHING!"
Star tightened her grip on her hammer. "Uuugh… you are so obnoxious! I wish you would be quiet!"
A faint thud echoed in the distance, before Star saw something descend from on high, falling straight for Hammer Kong. An instant later, the Red Strikerborg crashed down onto Hammer Kong, her punch flattening him into the ground and making an even deeper pit in the street.
Behind her mask, Jo glared coldly down at Hammer Kong as she drew the Input Magnum and pointed it at his head. "How does it feel to be the nail?"
She fired repeated shots into the robot, multiple explosions going off, before with a roar Hammer Kong swung its arm back at her, forcing her to leap off him.
Jo landed on the street, right beside Star, and looked back at the crater Hammer Kong was getting up out of. "Crap… of all the Combat Mecha, why this one?"
Star looked at her. "Strikerborg, what are we up against?"
"Hammer Kong is one of Noxic's most heavily armored monsters in the comic. It took bringing out all three AVs and even Gargantis to finally take him down." Strikerborg revealed. "Just our luck, it's exactly as tough IRL as it is in the comics… my Input Magnum only scorched it!"
Star looked at Jo. "We'll never break him trying to pen."
Jo looked at Star. "Huh?"
"It's gotta be brute force," Star said, "Armor's no good if you can hit what's underneath it until it cracks from inside out."
She looked ahead at Hammer Kong as he slowly stomped out of the crater. "If my magic worked, we'd wear him down faster… but it doesn't."
Jo frowned behind her mask. "It's not working?"
"That green goop! It's been like this for days now, I can't cast any other spell from the wand because the wand's messed up!"
"HEY! RED ROBOT!" Hammer Kong bellowed. "IT'S YOUR TURN TO BE THE NAIL!"
Brittney Wong retorted. "Ugh, shut up."
Heavy caliber gunfire crashed into Hammer Kong, as the security detail Brittney Wong hired to protect the dance unloaded on Hammer Kong with Light Machine Guns, Anti-Material Rifles, and hand cannons.
Star gave a start. "Whoa!"
The Red Strikerborg looked at the security personnel. "What the hell…?!"
Pulling her phone out, Brittney hit a speed dial contact and brought it to her ear. After a single ring, a cheerful woman answered the call.
"Hench Co, because why get upset when you can have people get upset for you?"
"This is Brittney Wong," Brittney replied as she pointed her phone at Hammer Kong and took a picture of him, "Condition Black: Slip the leads."
"At once, Miss Wong, we're releasing the hounds now!" The woman on the other end of the line happily replied.
As Hammer Kong raised his right arm to protect himself from the gunfire, the barrage ended and was replaced by a new sound filling the air that the Combat Mecha had never heard before. Behind Shermie's car, as the elder Pines reached it, he, Alfonzo, and Ferguson heard it as well… the rustling buzz of thousands of cicadas.
The sound was replaced by a thunderous galloping, and then the bellowing moo of an enraged bull seconds before a pair of massive machines passed on either side of Jo and Star.
Hammer Kong lowered the hammer in time to see two strange machines rear up over him. Both resembled a tank turret perched atop a pair of long digitigrade legs that gave them simultaneously a birdlike and reptilian appearance. Each one had lifted a leg off the ground, before unceremoniously driving them into Hammer Kong's chest as powerful kicks that sent the Combat Mecha bouncing back up the street.
Star looked up at the machines, and just blurted out in amazement and excitement. "… WHAT ARE THOSE?!"
Ferguson knew what they were and yelled at Brittney. "Dude, you seriously brought Gekko UGs as security for your freaking dance?!"
"Of course, I did!" Brittney shouted back.
After a short instant, Ferguson answered. "THIS IS THE COOLEST DANCE I NEVER GOT INVITED TO!"
Shermie whistled. "Wow… didn't think you could get Shol Par commercially."
Noticing the elder Pines and seeing the gun in his hands, Strikerborg called out to him. "Mr. Pines! We've got this under control! I need you to go to Hillhurst, right now!"
Shermie lowered his weapon. "You sure you got this, Red?"
"Between all of us, we got this," Strikerborg said. "Now, go, the clock is ticking!"
His eyes narrowing, Shermie recognized the urgency in her voice. "Roger." He turned and headed back to his vehicle, calling to Alfonzo and Ferguson. "Hey, Laurel and Hardy! We gotta skedaddle!"
"Why us?" Ferguson asked.
"Because this ain't no place for civvies, and I gotta go pick up my grandson and your friend. Let's get moving!" Shermie said as he climbed into his SUV. Looking to each other, Alfonzo and Ferguson shrugged their shoulders and climbed into the vehicle as well.
Brittney looked away from Hammer Kong as one of the Gekkos turned and back-kicked the Combat Mecha, allowing the other to jump and stomp on him with both feet, and called over to Star and Jo. "Hey! Are you going to finish that thing off or not?!"
Star called back. "Uh… just a second! We're working on a strategy~!""
Satisfied that Shermie was on his way out, Strikerborg reached out and placed a hand on Star's shoulder. "Star."
Star paused looked at her. "What?"
Behind her mask, Jo took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, for everything. I shouldn't have treated you or anyone else like I have, and I don't want there to be anymore drama between us."
Star brightened. "… Really?"
"Yeah," Jo replied. "I've got your back from now on… I'm not gonna act like a punk brat anymore."
Star literally brightened this time, the light filling her cheek marks as the green, sickly glow slowly faded from her wand. She could feel it, not just in the wand but in her whole body as the dark clouds that hung over were finally cleared. "All right, then I've got your back, too! And I'm gonna try to be less of a total spazzo."
Jo turned towards Hammer Kong. "Actually? I think right now, you need to be a total spazzo more than ever."
With an apoplectic yell, Hammer Kong swung his right-hand hammer into the legs of the Gekko stomping on him. The UG was sent flying and crashed to the ground as the second unit jumped back and imposed itself between Hammer Kong and the downed unit. Still yelling, Hammer Kong lunged forward onto his hammer hands and hammer feet before pushing himself up to standing.
"I hate this world…! I hate everything in it!" He boomed. "So many nails… so many freaking nails… that don't! KNOW! THEIR! PLACE!"
Taking the Royal Magic Wand in her right hand, and the Dimensional Scissors in the other, Star twirled them as the glow in her cheek marks appeared in her pupils and spread across the whites of her eyes.
"Strikerborg?" When Strikerborg looked over at her she asked aloud, so Hammer Kong heard it. "What do you say to the villains when the heroes show up to save the day?"
Jo grinned and turned back to Hammer Kong. "You say… run."
Hammer Kong let out a roar as he charged a laser. "I'LL RUN YOU DOWN!"
The Combat Mecha opened fire, targeting Star, but only hitting the chest and helmet of The Red Strikerborg, explosions of sparks and smoke erupting off her armor as she ran into the barrage of beams and pulled her right arm for a punch.
When she reached him, Hammer Kong's own flexible right arm was already up and coming down to smash Strikerborg flat. With a yell, Strikerborg aimed her superpowered punch into Hammer Kong's falling blow. When their fists crashed into one another with a near deafening clang, a shockwave rippled outward visible from the air it condensed.
The blast struck Star with enough force to send her flipping backward through the air in surprise. "Whoa-whoa!"
Recovering in mid-air, she slashed the air behind her with the Dimensional Scissors and disappeared into the portal she created. Behind her, the blast struck Brittney and her security detail, nearly knocking the cyborgs off their feet; Brittney herself, however, stood firm as her hair whipped behind her and watched resolutely.
His hammer grinding against her fist, Hammer Kong snarled. "DON'T THINK YOU'RE SO TOUGH BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T BUDGE, YOU'RE JUST A STUBBORN NAIL!"
Appearing out of the exit portal above the two and slightly to Jo's left, Star spun like an axle as she fell. When she reached him, she swung out her wand. "WILL YOU SHUT UP?! RAINBOW FIST PUNCH!"
Instead of green glitter, the colors of the rainbow swirled from Star's wand, coating it and becoming a fist of light that hit Hammer Kong. To the Combat Mecha's shock, blow connected with enough force to lift him off his feet. Lunging forward, Strikerborg plowed a left hook into the lifted Hammer Kong's waist, knocking him backward and up the street.
The Red Strikerborg wasn't going to let him get away, using her super strength to leap after and overtake Hammer Kong in mid-air, swinging her right hand down in a powerful punch.
The super strength and Beetleborg powered blow connected with Hammer Kong's chest, and the robot's horizontal flight was diverted into the vertical into the street. Coming out on the other side, Strikerborg tumbled and jumped back onto her feet to face the plume.
"You're just one angry son of a bitch, huh?!" She asked. "But don't worry, I get it!"
As Hammer Kong lay in the shallow crater his body made, he lifted his dented and scorched head up. "THE ONLY THING YOU'RE GONNA GET, IS SMASHED INTO SCRAP!"
A small portal opened just beneath him. On the other side of that portal, Star aimed her wand at it as the glow in her cheeks and eyes brightened.
"Mega Geyser Windstorm!"
In a flash of blue light, the Wand conjured a torrent of steaming water that shot into the portal, and the plume of smoke and dust that marked where Hammer Kong lay was replaced by a geyser that launched the Combat Mecha into the sky over ten meters.
Above the geyser, Hammer Kong tumbled end over end, screaming, before gravity brought him falling back down. Spotting the glowing yellow eyes of Strikerborg below him, Hammer Kong yelled and swung his left hammer down at her.
His punch met another uppercut from Strikerborg, the two blows meeting canceled all of Hammer Kong's downward momentum, and cracks appeared in the head of his left hammer and beneath her feet.
As the Combat Mecha hung in the air, as if balanced on her fist, she called out. "It feels so good to be angry, doesn't it?!"
A portal opened behind Strikerborg and Star leaped out of it to the Beetleborg's right, aiming the wand at him.
"Super Shooting Star Explosion!"
With her yell, three large spinning yellow stars flew from their wand. The first one smashed into him, knocking him backward from Strikerborg. The second star hit even harder, causing the Combat Mecha to bounce off the ground and into the third spinning star. When that star exploded, Hammer Kong was propelled in a straight trajectory up the street like a missile.
One of the cyborgs, the head of the protection detail, watched this in quiet disbelief. "What… what are we looking at?"
Up the street, towards the intersection the school ended at, another portal opened, and a stream of Crashing Mode fire emerged from it, followed by Strikerborg herself holding down the trigger of the Input Magnum. The bolts exploded all over Hammer Kong's body with growing frequency and intensity as the distance between them closed.
The head of the detail reached up to his sunglasses. "… This is real, isn't it?"
He looked at Brittney, who was still standing in front of them, watching the fight with her arms folded.
Star swiped the air with the scissors and her war hammer slipped through it to it to land on her shoulder. Putting away the scissors, she caught the hammer's shaft in one hand and her wand over it before tossing the wand straight up. The medieval weapon transformed, the head becoming larger and the flat head becoming a rocket exhaust pipe that erupted with a magical exhaust, before the wand came down for Star to catch in her teeth.
Screaming in rage, Hammer Kong landed on his feet and stumbled as he lunged with a right arm swing at Strikerborg. "GO DOWN, YOU NAIL!"
Strikerborg did down ducking under the swing and punching him in the chest with a right of her own to make him step back. "You don't have to feel anything else!"
When he retaliated with a diagonal swing using his left, she weaved the other way and hit that same spot with a left. "You can't be sad, afraid, or inadequate if you're raging at everything!"
"RAGING IS ALL I KNOW!" Hammer Kong spat nails down at Strikerborg, the projectiles cutting small divots into her armor as she turned herself around and performed one of Marco's crescent kicks. Her form was sloppy, ungraceful, but her strength more than made up for it.
The blow connected with the side of Hammer Kong's head turning his whole body in place so he could face Star. Her war hammer's engine spewing flame, bunnies, rainbows, stars, and unicorn ponies, the Princess hurtled at the combat mecha at high speed before she planted her feet and swung into a full circle, gathering momentum so that on her second rotation she caught Hammer Kong right in the cracked and split armor of his chest.
Gripping the rocket hammer with all her might and biting down hard enough she thought her teeth could crack, Star let out a yell and continued her swing–the rocket engine's output growing into a solid, sparkling flame as she lifted Hammer Kong off his feet and began to swing him around and around.
Hammer Kong howled as he began to spin around faster and faster. "NO! I'M BREAKING! STOP!"
"GOOD!" Star yelled as she jumped and twisted her body, the rocket motor carrying her and Hammer Kong straight up. "BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH AN ANNOYING JERK!"
With one more scream, she swung Hammer Kong straight down at the ground, yelling to Strikerborg as she did.
"END HIM!"
When Hammer Kong struck the street it shattered, the explosion of dust and dirt rocketing upward and spreading out to obscure all the combatants. Seeing such a display of force and ferocity, Brittney let out a quiet gasp as her eyes grew wider.
Hammer Kong had struck the ground so hard that this time he had bounced–his massive, armored body floating upright as the cloud of dust his impact made was suddenly cleared over the whine of a turbine. In front of the Combat Mecha the Red Strikerborg stood with her right arm raised and the whirling Striker Plasmar crackling with power as it reached maximum RPM–a spinning cone of plasma coated her arm like the flame from an afterburning jet engine.
Behind her mask, Jo let out a joyful little laugh. "Annoying is right, that's all angry people who can do nothing but lash out at everything will ever be."
She pulled one of Star's twirls–building all the momentum she'd need for her punch.
"I won't let my anger turn me into something as pathetic as you."
Like a comet, Strikerborg's punch crashed into Hammer Kong's torso, and the Beetleborg yelled out.
"TORNADO SPARK!"
A thunderous crackling, as loud as Jo's yell, followed as her fist connected and Hammer Kong was blasted into the air like a Railgun bolt.
The ground shuddered under Jo's feet, and every window for blocks warped and rattled as the tumbling Combat Mecha, torn in half by the blow hurtled skyward towards the moon overhead.
Star had just hit the ground when the force of Strikerborg's finisher almost knocked her over, the same blast catching Brittney's hair and dress like a strong breeze while once more her security was caught off guard and buffeted by its force.
Inside the gymnasium, the entire building shook slightly, drawing the attention of the dance's attendees, Mabel and Misao looking upward with surprise as the lights briefly flickered and the windows wobbled.
Reaching the apex of his flight, plasma sparking and jets of flame shooting from his broken body, Hammer Kong looked at the empty, moonlit-sky above and let out a final, furious lament.
"I'm still mad."
Hammer Kong exploded, a smaller blast that tore him apart followed by a much larger one that vaporized his remains and lit up the night.
Star, catching her footing, grinned at the explosion a big smile on her face. "That's what I'm talking about!"
Behind her, as she began to do a victory dance, the stunned cyborg security personnel could only continue to stare at the light. The head of the detail lowering his glasses so his prosthetic eyes could take in all of it clearly.
A distance away, Ferguson and Alfonzo looked back when they saw the sky light up.
"What was that…?" Alfonzo asked.
Ferguson, watching the explosion, just shrugged his shoulders. "It's Star, she probably finally stopped holding back." He let out an indignant snort. "After we all leave!"
Shermie checked his driver side mirror to glance at the blast after pulling into Hillhurst's long driveway and let out a laugh. "That's certainly enough boom to be the case!"
On the roof of the school, her arms folded, and her cloak closed around her, Jara watched Hammer Kong's body disappear with the last of his fury and flame.
Uncaring of an angry idiot's end, Brittney's eyes were locked on Star and Strikerborg. Focusing on the former, she nodded slowly as a new appreciation and understanding reached her.
Star Butterfly, the magical princess, the psychopath with no impulse control, the idiot from another world…
"Ah… I get it."
Her right arm still extended skyward, Strikerborg held the position as the Striker Plasmar snapped into their locked position, arcs of red energy crackling from her arm to her body and the ground beneath her. Slowly, she lowered it and looked at Star, who turned her grin onto her.
Behind the mask, Jo let out a small laugh as she had a single thought after seeing Star go all out and tag team a monster with her.
My friends are the coolest.
= - = 6-9 = - =
Anger purged.
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