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The Dark Lady distrusts outsiders but Alina is able to smooth things over. The way banshees do. With a Wail.
Azeroths diplomatic archmage sleeps badly and the Dark Lady takes out her frustration on the battlefield. What else is new...
Anya and Pained try their best to keep their overstressed rulers from working themselves to (true) death while the Scarlet noose is tightening around the Forsaken. Areiel is researching foreign magocratic city-states and stumbles over state documents that some careless reader has left scattered all across the library.
Family drama amongst the Forsaken is turning into quite the soap opera...
Rhonin Redhair and Vereesa Windrunner receive unexpected news. Runar and Halvdan experience the restaurants and flights of Azeroth like the tourists they are.
And Alina is not staring or anything.
Sylvanas and Jaina finally meet. Of course it will all be, so to say, smooth sailing from now on.
"When meeting foreign powers for the first time, be polite and do not rush things if at all possible. Allow the other party to form his or her opinion about your faction at their own pace. Rushed decisions are rash decisions, and adds the risk of the other party deciding to dislike you just out of spite for being rushed.
Always have a moderate amount of food and drink close by. An embassy negotiates on its stomach and lack of sustenance leads to unrest in any gathering.
Always have plenty of maps at hand. Maps are beautiful to look at during boring conversations and having them instills a sense of importance in attending delegates and makes them more tractable to your proposals.
Try not to kidnap foreign heads of state."
Excerpt from "A Dwarven Treatise of Elementary Diplomatic Conduct" (working title "Diplomacy for Dummies").
Ooops…
Well, as I have learned that the saying goes their ship can now, ahem, set sail. The double meaning of that phrase in this particular story would make Areiel practically swoon and Sylvanas clutch her tormented ears.
I very much hope that the story so far makes Sylvanas' actions and (over)reactions make some measure of sense. I wanted to illustrate some of the circumstances that may contribute to her jumping at conclusions and losing her temper, but without spelling it out too demonstratively.
Sylvanas and Jaina experience the aftermath of a too late and too loud night out, such as regrets and monumental headaches when waking up, demonstrating that fantasy doesn't necessarily exclude some measure of realism.
It might be appropriate (and funny) at this time to point out how this is primarily a Warcraft III Frozen Throne story and the respective characters generally have the according traits and abilities. The setting is also by the way in classic Warcraft III before the graphical retcons of Warcraft Reforged, so humans and elves are in their full unbalanced, gorilla-armed and melon-chested glory. In the case of the dark rangers, and their dark lady, we are therefore talking about hero-level elite archers with the following special abilities among others.
Black Arrow – a magically enhanced arrow adding extra damage to their attack. Units killed while under the Black Arrows effect will turn into a temporary skeletal minion.
Silence – Stops all enemies, even Heroes, in a target area from casting spells.
Life Drain – Drains life from a single enemy over time and restores the dark rangers health.
Charm (Ultimate) – Takes control of target enemy unit. Can not be used on Heroes or creeps (local creatures) above a certain level.
So, what may be deduced from looking at this skillset? Dark rangers are obviously devastatingly Charming and especially innocent little spellcasters will just stand gaping in stunned Silence. While those in possession of a strength of mind – or paladinly prudeness - of heroic proportions may be able to avoid falling hopelessly for them at a first glance, it can be called into question how prolonged exposure would affect the outcome. And what if said heroes would no longer be enemy heroes?
Resistance is futile.
Anya welcomes Jaina aboard in her own way and Jaina makes some new friends.
Davey Bones: Ye better start believing in ghost stories, miss Proudmoore, 'cause you're in one of 'em! Arrrr!
Jaina: Set course for Booty Bay and let's pillage ourselves some cannons, me mateys!
Haley Quinn' Bones: Dibs for the Fun Gun, you jokers!
Sylvanas: Five minutes. I leave them unsupervised for five bloody minutes and...
Comments are very much appreciated as always.
Sylvanas has trust issues, dark rangers conduct themselves unbecomingly and Jaina makes a big decision.
Teleportation magics are depicted a bit different in Warcraft III and World of Warcraft but as Jaina herself has proven time and again any constraining rules of those are meant to be bent when the situation calls for it. So in this story I am going for something inbetween, I think you could say, and teleporting and portal magics are not a fully explored branch of magic but more like a set of known general principles that are very dangerous to deviate too much from.
Another thing I will go with is that spellcasting takes mana but also taxes the body and mind as the concentration needed to keep your focus and willpower bent on shaping arcane magic will exhaust the caster. As in real life, too much work and too little rest will drain you sooner or later no matter how good you are at said work.
Incidentally, on the topic of magic, Jainas very first appearance in Warcarft III is when she is eavesdropping on Antonidas when he is receiving a certain mysterious prophet. Her masters resignation before the fact when he informs her that she can reveal herself now is most telling. Jaina is without a doubt as proficient in sneaky ways to utilize invisibility spells as she is endlessly curious.
Clam soup á la Jaina
Clams.
1 can of button mushrooms.
1 tomato.
1 yellow onion.
1 lemon.
Slice the vegetables and boil together with clams and button mushrooms on low heat. Flavour with lemon juice and a touch of white pepper. Use salt sparingly.
Clam soup á la Velonara
1 elven ranger.
Stir.
The dark rangers continue their never-ending quest to make Jaina blush and Anya and Areiel their struggle against Sylvanas' mistrust. Jaina is allowed to demonstrate what it means to have the Daughter of the Sea as the ships archmage.
As the journey across the sea is nearing its end Sylvanas finds herself less and less eager for it to do so, Jaina just wanting a nap and a decent meal and Anya wishing everyone could stop being idiots.
Jaina: Are you actually telling me that my meals have been prepared by a chef with no sense of smell or taste?
Sylvanas: It's called fast food. You were very hungry a couple of chapters back and we had to improvise.
Jaina: Attempted poisoning.
Sylvanas: May I tempt you with a wholly homemade cookie from Andorhal then?
Jaina: I'm begining to see why you lack living allies...
Upon arriving in Lordaeron Sylvanas tries to unsettle Jaina by having the big talk about Arthas which doesn't quite work out, but then somehow works out anyway.
This chapter is notably darker than the recent ones as Jaina, and in a way Sylvanas, are confronted by the scars left by the Scourge upon Lordaeron and its people.
"Name?"Among the snowy peaks of Khaz Modan two dwarves prepare to begin their adventuring careers. The game is on!
It might be prudent to point out that Runar and Halvdan have a long history of dealing with grim dangers as well as complex politics and have developed a rather deeply rooted habit of sarcasm and irony. While they may have an opportunity or three in this particular chapter to make fun of, shall we say certain game elements, they remain extremely serious and dedicated to their mission underneath their veneer of routine bickering.
Runar: I am obviously a ranger, that hunter thing is just a formal technicality to appease the Khaz Modan bureaucracy.
Halvdan: But of course. Why is Voo pointing at that purple dye all the time, though?
Jaina makes herself at home, or more precisely the dark rangers make her at home, while Sylvanas returns to work. The previous chapter is obviously spread out over a longer period of time and in essence shows some of what the dwarves have been up to during the Forsaken's maritime endeavours. The story now returns to the Undercity and the present situation.
This chapter is mostly pleasant but has some references to implied domestic abuse, and the Scarlet Crusade are being, I suppose, themselves.
Magically warded dungeons actually appear in the Frozen Throne campaign in Dalaran, so it's not unreasonable that the other kingdoms would have similar areas. Where else would they keep unruly sorceresses who had gone on a polymorphing spree?
The Forsaken set sail late in the summer and their journey took about a month so it is now early autumn, around the later half of September.
And dark ranger Lyana does actually canonically quite like spiders.
Sylvanas: No Anya, I do not think it would be acceptable to post "Dark Lady indisposed. Slumber party" on my office door.
Anya: I promise, Dark Lady, working from home is the latest trend. Everyone does it these days. And don't mind us, we're just playing house…I mean tent.
Jaina: Bloody Scarlets, you killed the mood completely! If everyone keeps interrupting my rest like this my hair will turn WHITE in no time! …they did WHAT when I was asleep?
Thalassian:
Belore'Dorei = Child of the sun (in this context used as an affectionate term).
Vendel'o eranu. = Help me forget (in this context used as synonymous or interchangeable with "Help me not to think about it" or "Help me bear the memories").
There aren't many canonical translated Thalassian words and even fewer that are usable as comfort or compliments, but maybe Clea was meddling a little here and putting what she thought should be Kitala's words into Jaina's mouth?
Anya comforts Velonara and Jaina gets back to work as Diplomatic Protector of Azeroth and sits Sylvanas down to have a serious talk long awaited. The Scarlet Crusade meanwhile continues to inspire pride and devotion in all it's well motivated members…not. Alzo, enter Baron Frostfel, Forsaken death knight and Lordaeronian nobleman of ze highest order.
Creepy paternal-ish patronization, unabashed contempt, pathological rejection of anyone else's world views and blatant disregard for their own and their colleagues' lives…charming fellows, aren't they? Join The (Self)Righteous Order of the Scarlet Crusade today, and remember to check your conscience and empathy by the door!
Baron Frostfel is one of the ten possible random names of death knights in skirmish maps in Warcraft III. In Swedish "frost" means "frost" but "fel" means "error" or "fault". So, ladies and gentlemen, I give you…Baron Frost Error! Also, I urge anyone familiar with Medieval II Total War to now take hold of your noses and repeat in your most sneezing Holy Roman Empire accent:
"Begone! You are not mein Dark Lady!"
Remember that some dark rangers are banshees in possession of their bodies, and generally able to shift into a ghostly and flying banshee form as well as hide in the shadows, while some are always corporeal darkfallen undead. And also how Anya likes to sing on occassion (such as when sailing out in chapter 6).
The depiction of Hearthglen varies somewhat but in this story it is a town with a smaller keep and wooden walls, and used to be basically a market town rather than a defensive strongpoint.
Lyana: This is a travesty - we are NEVER taking the field without Kitthix again! What if I need to stitch someone up?
Jaina: Just out of curiosity, what would happen if Anya would one day actually laugh when going into battle?
Sylvanas: Just...do not speak of such things. "Shudder"
Westley would long since have lost count of how many times he had hefted yet another heavy and unwieldy shovel or pick or mallet from the corner of the stables, had he ever bothered to count in the first place. The large iron spit felt impossibly heavy in his hands tonight though. What did it matter how many times you had hammered out a hole for a fence post at a time like this?Sylvanas offers Jaina a ride home and makes use of some of her experience with (other) traumatized banshees. Jaina is of course a rational and sensible person who is above petty distractions such as a random draft or a silly dream. And we finally get to learn where Cyndia is.
You know how sometimes if you have a really nasty fever and you are too tired to do anything but sleep but can't keep sleeping, and you can't really tell if you're awake or asleep? That's Jaina at the moment. Chronologically, the chapter begins just about where the last one ended.
I should mention that the inestimably pious Scarlet Brother Wroth appears at his finest in this chapter, as sickening as ever. And regarding him and his colleagues I could also clarify that none of the abuse Jaina or Cyndia or Westley suffered from them was sexual.
So, just to clarify if there is any lingering confusion, Cyndia was captured after presumably making contact with a paladin hammer in a skirmish during the hasty retreat towards he Undercity, but she was not taken to Hearthglen but to a fortified monastery of the Scarlet Crusade.
It was not many things that Anya wished for herself very strongly, and it never really had been. She used to be content with boots that did not leak and clothes that stayed warm and whole, and a tent that kept the rains out. She currently had, or were, many things that most elven rangers would have longed for. She was much stronger than she had been in life and she could run without tiring, or even breathing. She could stay or swim underwater indefinitely, and wrap herself in shadows and darkness with even greater ease than her dark ranger sisters.Anya extracts her revenge against the worlds collective self-loathing of dense ladies and Sylvanas finally rids Jaina of her unhealthy shackles. When it comes to Anya, this chapter has some references to her not completely successful attempt at making her Dark Lady take a break and allow herself to relax earlier in the fourth chapter.
Sylvanas' own lieutenant do her best to live up to all the commentary about her and this is exclusively her soap opera…ahem…chapter, with no unpleasantness except that Lady Proudmoore is hurt and must be tended to.
Sylvanas: The Proudmoore raiding party seems at loss in this encounter and only suffer wipe after wipe. How embarrassing.
Anya: Their caster must still be a little wet-behind-the-ears.
Jaina: Heroes are supposed to be immune to the charm skill! This quest boss is so OP…
Jaina is sick and gets to enjoy the unquestionable comfort of some long overdue rest and the questionable comfort of Nurse Lyana's bedside manners, not to mention Areiel's. Sylvanas has a serious talk with Varimathras regarding the user safety of certain demonic products and decides that she is going to out-compete them.
Here is the melody I imagine that Lyana is whistling on her way to Jaina. Just picture her with her pet spider Kitthix perched on her head in front of one eye instead of an eyepatch:
Jaina is a big girl and every elf recognizes that and also acts with the maturity and dignity that one would expect from someone of their own ages. Always. For sure.
Lyana has a scare in this chapter but it turns out to only be related to above. No worries. There are also, regrettably, no role playing games played despite the catchy title but Jaina must at least gather her party of six before venturing forth from her room in the next chapter.
Jailers are overrated indeed, Sylvanas…
Jaina: You are such a troll, Areiel! And two decades is a very adult age for humans!
Areiel: I did battle the Amani trolls for some millennia after all, some manners are bound to rub off... And you humans are all practically infants.
Tyrande: What are those little children across the sea doing at the moment?
Malfurion: Arguing about something it seems. So young, all of them...
Anya could not decide if she was happier because Lady Proudmoore's Fel marks on her arms were almost gone or because she had nearly stopped coughing. It was a tie. But Anya would take no chances and kept a watchful eye on the pile of Clea and Kitala and the mage nestled between them next to a pile of books. Lady Proudmoore had a bad habit of talking too much about everything that interested her until her throat became dry and she would start coughing again.Anya pays Jaina the compliment of all times and professor Proudmoore teaches her first Forsaken class, small though it may be. Westley and Cyndia attend church in the Scarlet Monastery.
At first I was going to include this scene in the last chapter but it grew so long it got out of hand completely. Here is Sylvanas' Jaina-chaining compromise with at least the gentlest cuffs she managed to have produced. Also the first appearance of the ex-spellbreaker Irizadan, long-time sufferer of ranger teasing.
Perhaps we are seeing the archmage's brilliance aura at work in this chapter?
Poor Anya, it's really not easy to find the right words when Lady Proudmoore and your squadmates are staring at you. Perhaps she can find an opportunity to make herself clearer later.
Edwin and Zaerini are a tribute to the magnificent Cards series of Baldurs Gate II fanfiction by LaufeyofThay about the incomparably stylish (and diplomatic…) red wizard of Thay and the Bhaalspawn bard Zaerini. Wilhelmina is an original character of my own, one of three wicked witches and terror of the sorceress academy together with Wilma and Wanja (the WWW).
Westley and Cyndia are likely to be in for an interesting time if they can survive long enough, and survive each other for that matter.
In this Christmas special (though it is still autumn in Lordaeron) Lyana begins the long term campaign of reforming Jaina's wardrobe by gift wrapping her for the Dark Lady. And Anya is totally not staring while she is at it because she is of course a serious and professional ranger lieutenant who can keep her mind on the job, which her squadron naturally recognizes. Sylvanas takes her pet mage for a walk around her pleasant city to meet it's picturesque inhabitants and presents are bought as well as delivered.
Remember the last endeavour of Runar and Halvdan in chapter 13, braving the intimidating throngs of the Loch Modan autumn market? They did apparently find what they were seeking and intending to send by the Azerothian mail order, which works in mysterious ways but frequently…ahem…delivers*.
*I extend my apologies for the horrible pun and will see myself out and apply for the position of ranger captain promptly.
And go and clean your room too, ranger Hawkspear!
Lyana: It is strange, the more I wrap Lady Proudmoore up the more unravelled do you seem to become, Anya.
Anya: Nnnnnot at all...
Lyana: Oh, great, then maybe you can take over here while I go and brew some potions?
Anya: What? I was just admiring those finely crafted glasses over there and the artistic cups - NO, not at all any cups and I was definitely not thinking of cups of any size!
"You worry about the tower, I worry about the mini-map!"
Actual Warcraft III goblin zeppelin quote.
Sylvanas celebrates the return of Cyndia by sending her away again and taking the evening off. Almost. She is working from a distance at least. Jaina has a vivid imagination, or maybe her logical brain is just logically mashing all her recent impressions together into a logical and predictable mess.
If you want to refresh your memory of Cyndia's character you can check the first chapter where some traits of hers are revealed. She enjoys the forest and dislikes confined spaces, so being sent away form the Undercity does not exactly count as a loss for her.
The Forsaken may lack fancy drinks at their parties but they make up for it in comradeship.
Anya and Jaina receive gifts with mixed results and Sylvanas and her squadron have a serious talk with Jaina about sacred rules of ranger teasing and clear out a misunderstanding long overdue for being cleared out.
Remember that in the middle of bantering with and being mistressly with her pet mage during their first tour of the Undercity Sylvanas noted with approval that Anya seemed to be getting something for herself for once from Akara's shop of magical curiosities? If you didn't you are excused, and hereby reminded since what she bought is now playing an important part.
And did Anya really buy a gift to herself now? Sylvanas, Sylvanas, what were you thinking…if you want something done in that regard you need to do it yourself.
Jaina tests her skills at Forsaken statecraft but decides that there are far more alluring career opportunities elsewhere.
After living for weeks with her little family of dark rangers and seeing their welcoming home of Cyndia it would take a really stoic archmage not to entertain the thought of a black cloak of her own. But Jaina Proudmoore is fortunately immune to their charms and always a serious and clear-headed young woman, as everyone knows.
Do you remember the conversations between Areiel and Sylvanas during their trip to Theramore in chapter 6? I would hazard a guess that most do not but now, finally, the unpleasant topic of Forsaken allegedly selling out each other to the Scarlets is returning to, ahem, 'haunt' them…
The archery scene has been part of the plan almost since the beginning and a large part of the reason why Jaina should be bothered with anti-magical devices of any kind. As the story has grown ridiculously beyond the original outline the scene has certainly been quite overshadowed by the aftermath of Hearthglen and probably various other things in intensity and closeness, but it is still the first time Sylvanas is scandalous enough to cal Jaina her good girl, and for once Jaina is unimpeded by acute injuries or horrors while Sylvanas is making her shiver.
Sylvanas: I called you 'good girl'. I have it on high authority that you do now become my vassal.
Jaina: Iz zat what you zink, Dark Lady?
Jaina partakes in Anya Eversong's crash course in dark ranging and neither Areiel nor Sylvanas can keep themselves away.
The landscape closest to the Undercity is not blighted but has largely died from the blight and is seemingly in a state of perpetual withering. Leafless trees claw at the sky and drying grass covers the ground. It is just as well that it is currently autumn in Lordaeron, otherwise the sight would no doubt be even more disturbing to visiting heads of state.
Sylvanas: Anya, we have some worrying scout reports that indicate an imminent Scourge invasion. You have to speed Ranger Proudmoore's training along with all possible haste.
Anya: We are already running her ragged, literally some days. I don't know what I could move along any more rapidly.
Sylvanas: There is always…a training montage.
Anya: You can not be serious! Grumble… Only for YOU then, Dark Lady…
Anya:
Let's get down to business
To repel the Scourge
The sea did send her daughter
When we sailed in search
We're the saddest bunch
You ever met
But you can bet before we're through
Lady, I'll make an elf out of you
Tranquil as the shadows
But on fire within
Arrows to the center
Mean an easy win
You're a clever, fair and gorgeous girl
And you haven't got a clue
How we all fall and fawn over you
Jaina:
I'm never gonna catch my breath
Say goodbye to those who knew me
Tides, was I fool in school for cutting gym
Lich King's got 'em scared to death
He will never get right through me
I will make him wish that he knew how to swim
Lyana:
Be an elf
We must be stealthy and swift like Anya
Be an elf
With all the force out of Clea's throw
Be an elf
With all the strength of the silk of spiders
With upgraded garb you will charm Lady Moon
Anya:
Time is racing toward us
Till the Scourge arrive
Heed my every order
And you might survive
We are haunted by
The rage of war
No real friends, no home, but you
And our foes, are but shreds, when I'm through
Clea:
Little mage
You're putting up when we prank and tease you
Little mage
You are enduring Areiel's puns
Little mage
There is but one thing that makes you falter
A platter of home-made, fresh-baked mana buns
Kitala:
Cuddly piles
The crowd cry out for a heap of rangers
Cuddly piles
With tangled hair in each others arms
Cuddly piles
Beneath the gaze of our sweet Dark Lady
We'll mess up her bed sheets, we will wreck her room
It is that time of the year again and marketing campaigns run high but Anya and Lyana are less than fervent participants.
For those unfamiliar with the phenomenon, certain web comics and various other pictoral expressions of popular culture tend to celebrate Valentine's day with especially unsafe for work content, the fan servicing Valentine's Day Sex Drive.
On an unrelated note, I have the highest regard for those that can make soft lead work and obey their wishes. I am not among them though and one day, maybe even on this side of oblivion, I will remember that I must
a) get harder grade lead and,
b) possibly draw rangers in a more illuminated and ergonomical workspace than the side of my bed.
Halvdan slowly peeked out under a pointy branch of some thorny kind of bush. He should have picked Runar's spot beneath some smooth-looking spruces instead.Having kept busy with their questing since chapter 13, Runar and Halvdan proceed with their diplomatic campaigning while Westley and Cyndia's squadron keep watch over the west.
Runar's crossbow may be heavy and unwieldy, but it is an exceptional item that is DIABOLICALLY overpowered once you've managed to handle it… Read the widely feared name backwards if you have any lingering doubts…
I couldn't decide whether to use Rattletusk or Ratatosk as Voo's new name so instead I settled for both, and having the dwarves constantly bickering over which one was the correct as an added bonus. Runar considers him Ratatosk and Halvdan Rattletusk. Epic Win!
You can tell that Velonara is REALLY not feeling like her usual self when she let's a trip full of straddling well-muscled beasts and handling of rods go by without making one single improper joke about it. And you can tell that Cyndia and Westley are not better off for…horrifically obvious reasons.
Leaving the Undercity living-hating mobs behind was probably for the better. Leaving Velonara's best friend Anya, their warm new archmage and their Dark Lady behind was probably not very much for the better at all.
Anya would allow Ranger Proudmoore just a quarter of an hour longer, she decided. She had almost just had her lunch and Anya had prepared an especially difficult obstacle course across the most unaccommodating ruins of the city for the afternoons exercise. It wouldn't do if her recruit had to break it off because of any stomach cramps when Anya had made the effort to create such a challenging task.
Hello. My name is Jaina Proudmoore. You scared my Anya. Prepare to die.
Jaina's fireball, experimental atomic fusion or perhaps the precursor to the arcane cannons seen in World of Warcraft Battle for Azeroth?
An archmage is never late. Nor is she early. She arrives precisely when you need her the most.
Cyndia and her squadron flees before the Scourge while Jaina enjoys increased acceptance as Ranger Mage Proudmoore and catches up on hitherto neglected areas of dark ranging. Slices of unlife range from endearing to horrifying among the inhabitants of the Undercity.
A small reminder of the strategic situation: Upon returning from her pleasant cruise, the Dark Lady was greeted in chapter 14 by a report from Kalira about how the Scourge had advanced rapidly in her absence.
"…so we have been pushed back to nearly within sight from the city walls or what's left of them. If it wasn't before, the Scourge is organised now. I have recalled our forces to prepare for a siege rather than attempt to hold territory for the sake of it, but that unfortunately means that the Scourge may be fortifying their positions close to us and assemble more of their local forces."
As made apparent in the last chapter the noble servants of the Lich King appears to have gone for that assembling of more forces but then run into some trifling problems when it was time to make use of them. They still hold positions inconveniently close to the south of the Undercity and the Forsaken remain very restricted by that.
It goes without saying that Anya Eversong would never had let herself be distracted from the important issues of the council meeting and stared at anything from her hiding place. If she was, she was as usual only admiring the masonry.
Lyana: Anya, how was the council meeting?
Anya: Hmm? Well…Sylvanas was there…and Jaina was there too… And did you know they have fixed the wall? Not that I was staring or anything. At something else than the wall, I mean!
Lyana: Alright… Was it interesting? What did you discuss?
Anya: What? Arms…and stuff.
Lyana: What arms? Are we talking about bows? Swords? Pole arms? Anya, are you even listening?