Our Benefactor (Worm/Exalted)

[Jack of Olives]

Omake: Uber, Leet, and Trolling

---

The Fairy Godmother leaned forward to look at her two guests. "So, how will you boys be paid for your fancy new powers?"

Uber reached over to pull up his backpack. "We've Got ten thousand-"

"Nope, I don't accept money." She cut him off. "I've got a deal set up with the PRT where I supply tinkers all over the country with rare metals. I've got more money than I know what to do with"

Leet Hesitated for a second before asking. "You're not going to ask for our immortal souls, right?"

Uber smacked his buddy on the head. "Don't be an idiot; souls don't exist."

"Oh?" The suddenly grinning figure in front of them asked. "Then you won't mind paying with them?"

"Uh, I... think I'll go with a different payment method." Her grin only seemed to widen for a moment before settling into more business-like smile.

"Okay, let's go over other traditional methods of payment." She raised her hand and a pair of shackles appeared floating above it. "First we have payment in service; the two of you agreeing to either work for me, or towards something for a length of time. A year and a day is traditional."

Uber raised a finger. "Er, we try not to do jobs for people we don't know, anymore. Not after that debacle with Bakuda and the Undersiders."

"Fair enough. Hm... have either of you seen The Little Mermaid?"

"... Will we lose man-cred if we say yes?"

"Good enough. Now, when Ariel made a deal with the Sea Witch... well, she got a bum deal with the time-limit thing, but aside from that; she traded her greatest talent (her voice) for a favor. That's very powerful, magic-wise."

Leet stood up with a determined expression on his face. "No. We are not trading in our ability to game. I'll let my powers kill me before that happens."

She shrugged at that. "Okay, so how about..." She paused in contemplation before a massive grin apeared on her face.
"Oh! I know something you'd like. How would you like to go on an adventure?"

The two of them perked up at that. Uber was the one to ask. "An adventure? What kind of adventure?"

"One with swords and magic and stuff. It'll be just like a video game. Heck, I'll even let you record it for your website."

"We stream our videos live, actually." Leet commented.

"It'd be kinda difficult for this one, as you won't be anywhere near an internet connection."

Uber spoke up this time. "For how long?"

"That depends entirely on you. Anywhere from a couple of days to a month or two, I'd imagine."

Leet looked to his friend. "Can we both go?"

"Certainly. I'll even give both of you powers, if you want."

Uber shot her a suspicious look. "What's the catch?"

"The 'catch', is that I'd be taking your powers before you start. You'll have to go in using only the equipment I provide, aside from your camera drone drone, and the skills you have or learn there."

The two friends conferred with each other for a moment before turning to look at her. Leet spoke up. "Like a game, you say. Does that mean we don't have to worry about dieing."

She paused in thought for a second. "Well, it'd set you back a bit. But yes, as long as you don't quit, you'd have infinite lives, so to speak."

They both grinned at her answer and in unison exclaimed. "We'll do it!"

The Massive grin was back. "Excellent! Meet me back here tomorrow at five in the evening. Oh! Will your camera drone last long enough to film everything?"

"We bought it from the Toybox, and from what they said, it should be good for another three months."

"Perfect. In that case, I'll see you boys tomorrow."

---

The Uber and Leet Show Stream: The Next Day

The stream started with the opening credits as most Uber and Leet shows do, however viewers familiar with the show noticed something odd almost immediately. "Hey folks, and welcome to a very special episode of The Uber and Leet Show!" Uber started. Both him and his partner were both dressed in a gaming tee shirt and jeans.

"As many of you have noted," Leet continued for him. "my inventions have been a bit volatile lately. So, yesterday we went to talk with one of Brockton Bay's most mysterious rogues; The Fairy Godmother."

"I won't bore you with the details," Uber waved. "but she's agreed to give us new powers as long as we complete a video-game themed quest she's made for us."

"She's even letting us record everything for your viewing pleasure."

"Unfortunately, once we start this quest, our internet connection won't be available, so it may be a while before we're able to post again."

"In the meantime, we've arranged some top ten videos to keep you occupied while we're gone."

"So with that said; let's get this thing started. Our destiny awaits!"

The camera follows them as they walk into the building, where they're shown into the same office as before. There waiting for them, in all her splendor stood the Fairy Godmother, with a mysterious smile on her face.

"Excellent, right on time. If you boys would follow me this way." She motioned as she began walking to the far side of the room. Leading them through a door (that the duo were sure wasn't there yesterday) they walked into a stone room with a bunch of mannequins with various sets of weapons and outfits. At the far end of the room was a large double-door made out of the same coppery metal as the suits outside the building

"Here's where the two of you will choose your starting classes." Their host commented as she gestured around the room. "These should be fairly self-explanitory. You've got your standard fantasy knights and warriors, theives and rangers, wizards and clerics. Just touch the manequin and you'll be ready to go. Any questions?"

Uber spoke up. "You say starting class, Does that mean we can switch classes?"

"Good question. There aren't any real 'classes', so to speak. Theoretically, you could do anything. This is just what you'll start with."

Leet who was studying the wizard outfit turned towards her. "How do we recover mana?"

"It'll slowly replenish over time, although it'll do so faster if you're resting."

There was a flash of light from off-camera. Turning around, the screen showed Uber, now dressed in the knight armor walk toward them. "Our usual duo?" He asked Leet.

Nodding, as the camera swung around again, Leet reached out to the mage outfit. There was a flash as he touched it. As it cleared, Leet was standing in the Wizard outfit, staff in hand with his old outfit on the Mannequin. "You know it." A brofist ensued.

There was a metalic creaking as the large double doors opened to a place that was clearly not Brockton Bay. A path through a dense forest lay beyond.

The Fairy Godmother walked over to them and motioned towad the doors. "Since the two of you are all set, your destiny lies before you. Good luck. And remember: you have unlimited lives. The only way to lose is to give up."

Uber saluted smartly with his sword, while Leet bowed. Turning towards the camera, Uber began to wave. "Alright folks, you probably won't hear from us for a bit. Until then, this is Uber,"

"And Leet,"

"Signing off." They finished together

A strange thing happened as they turned and began walking towards the door. The stream turned to static for only a second before continuing to show the two of them walking. The only difference was the camera drone that they could see following them through the door. As the large metal doors closed behind duo, the picture turned to look at the only one remaining in the room.

The Fairy Godmother grinned mischievously as she looked at the camera. "Before you folks go, I've got one thing you'll likely want to see." Having said that, she turned around and the camera followed her back into her office. Walking over to a large mirror hanging on the wall, she waved her hand and the reflection changed to show Uber and Leet as they chatted excitedly while walking through the forest. "Just thought I'd let you folks have a hint at what they're in for."

The stream watched as the two of them rounded a corner in the path. Leet stopped suddenly to stare at what was in front of them. There was just enough sound to hear Uber, who was looking at Leet at the time, start to ask what the problem was before falling silent as he stared at what was in front of them.

Before the was a clearing, that seemed to be in some sort of tumbled ruins. There in the middle of it was a fire burning on a pile of bones with a twisted sword sticking out of it.

"Oh, fuck." The microphone was able to make out Uber saying, right before the mirror fogged up and returned to normal. The connection ended as the normal credits played with different music than normal.

---

This was actually an early draft that I made before the first chapter that I decided to not include in the main story. It makes for a good Omake, though.

And before anyone asks: no, Lisa can't do this kind of thing (yet; give her a couple decades).

Edit: Forgot the link. >_<

Edit 2: Made some minor adjustments.