Chapter 5: Foundations
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My American Literature class passed by in a blur. It
was my favorite course, and I
was doing my best to pay attention, but my head was swimming from all of what had happened over the course of my mid-day break. I was pretty sure that my professor noticed my jitters, as she gave me an odd look more than once over the painstaking, agonizing two hours I had to spend in that room; she even asked me a few pointed questions to drag me out of my day-dreaming, the memories of fighting skeletons and zombies being shoved out of my head by talk of Hemingway and Bradbury. As soon as I offered my analysis of
The Old Man and the Sea, though, my mind immediately drifted back to thoughts of Ransack, of what kind of characters I would create, of what kind of
dungeons I would create once I could play as an Overlord... Even though I barely had any knowledge of the game to base those fantasies off of. More than anything else, though, I was impatiently staring at the clock on the wall, willing the hands to tick faster as I fidgeted in my seat; I had never understood why there were initiatives to remove clocks from classrooms until that point, but suddenly all of that reasoning about "distracting students" made a lot more sense to me.
Finally, though, the professor dismissed the class once we had finished up with a short discussion of Faulkner's later works, and I practically tripped on my way from out of my desk as my teacher was giving her closing comments; the woman actually bothered to stop addressing the class to call me out individually and to stop me in my tracks. "Miss Hebert." Feeling anxiety well up in my heart, I turned back to her with an awkward, nervous smile on my face. Shit, had I really offended her that much by my lack of attention today? Somewhat assuaging my concerns, the professor simply gave me a smirk, and offered: "Do be careful on your way home, and I'll see you on Wednesday, Taylor." Being called simply "Taylor" by her felt in much the same way that my Dad would (or my Mom would used to) use my full name when they were angry at me. I sheepishly nodded at her, before rapidly but safely fast-walking out of the classroom.
I would have to worry about whether or not I had fallen out of her good graces later, though. In spite of my professor's warnings, I picked up speed once I was out of the building, and was in a steady jog back to my dorm soon enough. I was going nearly as fast as when I had been running to my classroom to avoid being late - I thankfully managed to get there a minute before class started - but my rushing this time was of a different sort; at the very least, I didn't have to worry about barging into the middle of a lecture. I finally managed to reach my room, and fiddled with the metal key for several seconds before I actually managed to get it into the lock properly; once I could open the door, I had to take conscious action to make sure that I didn't slam it into the wall.
My room mate wasn't back yet; she had a class on Mondays and Wednesdays that ran relatively late, letting out at six twenty in the evening. This was probably for the best, considering that I likely wouldn't have been able to concentrate if she had been there. Regardless, though, I threw my backpack onto my bed, not even bothering to get my books and other assorted class materials out of it before sitting down at my desk and turning on my laptop. The machine was... Not exactly top-of-the-line; the Dockworker's Association still hadn't picked up much work, although negotiations to get the ferry back into working order had finally managed to advance for the first time in years. In the end, my Dad and I had been forced to settle for one of the cheaper computers in the store. I had begun to worry during American Literature about whether or not I should have pushed my dad into getting me something beefier, as I honestly couldn't be certain if this piece of junk would even be able to run Ransack at all; Hell, the thing had an average start-up time of five minutes, which I had been led to believe by Greg's ramblings was a seriously unfortunate amount of time.
Eventually, though, the damned thing finally managed to turn all the way on. I had technically agreed to get the game set-up with Lisa, but she was supposed to be here around six, and looking at my computer's clock, it was only... Five twenty. Yeah, I couldn't wait. I would feel really, really bad when she showed up, but I was way,
way too antsy to just sit around for forty minutes. I could probably finish reading
Catch-22 (or, technically, re-reading it, as I had already gone through it in high school) to while away the forty minutes, but... No. I hated myself for it, but no.
I did a quick search for "Ransack game" and immediately found the website I needed - I
did do a check to make sure it wasn't a fake or a scam website that had pushed itself to the top result, though, as I wasn't
that computer illiterate. There was a lot of information on the front page - stuff about updates, news, tournaments, and so-on - but, thankfully, the "SIGN-UP!" and "DOWNLOAD NOW!" buttons were large, green, and front-and-center. I started the download first - who knew how long it would take on the university's wi-fi, after all - before going to the sign-up page. I entered the typical stuff like e-mail, birthday, et cetera, but I froze up for a moment on the user name it was asking for. The only games I played were casual ones on my phone, and those didn't require me to provide any sort of pseudonym; I'm pretty sure all of my high scores were filed under "
thebert1995@zoommail.com", in fact. In that sense, then, I didn't really have any precedent for what to input for a screen name. I supposed that I
could just use "thebert1995", but when I compared that to things like "MissTattletale" and "ImpishGrin", it felt so woefully inadequate. Fortunately, I noticed a little bit of fine text next to the input box: "Users are allowed to change their name for free once a year, or they can purchase additional name changes for $9.99." With that, I figured that thebert1995 was good enough for now, and that I would use that free name change once I figured something better out.
The game download was still in progress by the time I finished the sign-up process and confirmed my e-mail, and I managed to calm down a little bit once I realized that the time until I could play Ransack was entirely out of my control at that point; I
still wished that I could have a faster internet speed, though. I opted to spend the time checking a few important things, though, like the grades that were posted online - my World History professor
still hadn't posted the midterm grades, the old bastard - and my bank account, which showed November's monthly deposit from my student grants; one benefit of being from a lower income family meant that I got a fair amount of free money for going to school, and I only
sometimes spent that on things entirely unrelated to my education.
Eventually, though, Ransack finished its installation, and some sort of pre-game window popped up - a "launcher", I supposed? I entered my username and password, before pressing the "log-in" button. I winced a little bit as I realized how slowly the game was starting up, but breathed a sigh of relief as it went full-screen and a few informational images popped up. One let me know that the game was running on some sort of graphical engine or another, while an additional one informed me that Ransack itself was produced by a company called "Entity Games"; their logo creeped me out a bit, though, as it looked like some sort of creature out of a Lovecraft story. There was also a few minutes of a cutscene that showed some Hero characters running through a dungeon, fighting off monsters and avoiding traps until finally confronting the Overlord; it ended with the Heroes and the Overlord about to clash, and I supposed that it was a sufficiently dramatic way to get players into the mood for the game.
Finally, though, I got to the actual game... And immediately realized that, yes, my computer wasn't going to be able to run Ransack, at least not with the current state of things. I looked around for some sort of options button, hoping that I could change things in the game to make it run faster. I breathed a sigh of relief as I found an icon that looked like some sort of cog, and when pressing on it opened up a "SETTINGS" menu. I didn't really understand a lot of the options provided - what the hell was TSAA and HDR and bloom and all of the rest of this arcanery? - but the game thankfully provided a simple set of "presets", including one that turned all of their settings to the minimal value.
Another sigh of relief came as I realized that turning the graphics down
immediately made my game speed up, albeit at the cost of making everything a lot uglier; I made a mental note to get a part time job and stash away some of my student grants to buy a better computer, at some point, so that I could play this game the way that creators meant for it to be played.
Once that was taken care of, though, I began to look around for a "PLAY" button... But stopped myself when I looked at the real-time clock that the game had provided me with. It was five fifty, and that meant that Lisa would be here any minute; I
really didn't want to make things any worse than I already had by actually getting into a game and not being able to properly greet her because I was busy. Grumbling a bit, I started exploring around the menus the game had. Some other options included being able to modify the sound in a few ways, a profanity filter - which I turned off, of course - some internet and networking settings that I didn't dare fiddle with, as well as the ability to hide the in-game chat. I didn't quite understand that last option, as it seemed to me that there would be no good reason to keep yourself from seeing what the other players were saying; if you weren't in the same room with each other, you'd need to be able to chat through text to be able to cooperate as a team, right? I also found that there were options to play a few tutorials to familiarize yourself with the game, and I made sure to give those a shot, later, to make sure I really learned the game properly; I was especially excited to try out the Overlord tutorial, as watching Rachel play that role - as poorly as it had ended up - made it seem super interesting. I additionally discovered a few in-game manuals that explained the more technical details of Ransack, though a lot of it was going over my head at that point, so I decided to put them away for later.
And then, at five fifty seven, there was a knock on my door, which I assumed to be Lisa; it was accompanied by a
heavenly smell coming from the other side, and I suddenly noticed the gnawing hunger in my stomach that I had somehow managed to forget about until now. I opened up the door a tad sheepishly, as vividly green eyes and a wide, mischievous smile greeted me; more to the point, though, the girl was holding a medium-sized pizza box, the apparent source of the scent that had caused my belly to growl. I immediately felt guilty, though, realizing that Lisa had brought me
pizza, while I had foregone our promise by getting myself set up without her.
Even so, she continued to grin as she spoke up. "Hey there, Taylor! I only realized after you left that I didn't get your phone number - which I
am going to get, by the way - so I couldn't call you and ask you what sort of pizza you wanted me to pick up." Lisa opened up the box an inch, to let me see inside. "So I decided to just go with the most inoffensive option: Pepperoni." With a slight frown, she asked me in a stage whisper: "You're not a vegetarian or a vegan or anything, are you?" I shook my head dumbly, my head swimming with the smell of delicious cheese, tomato sauce, dough, and spiced meat. Lisa looked past me into my room, and her eyes settled on what I knew to be my laptop, and the clearly displayed game on its monitor. "Oh-ho? Got started without me, huh?" The question was asked humorously and with that smirk of hers, but I still felt another stab of guilt into my heart.
Rubbing the back of my head, I shuffled on my feet as I stood in the doorway. "Uhm. Yeah, sorry. I uhh, I know we agreed to do it together, but I... I got impatient. I'm sorry. I... Understand if you want to just leave, or whatever, since this is kind of my fault, and-"
Lisa shoved the pizza box towards me, and I worried for a moment that she
was genuinely angry. Instead, she huffed, raised her eyebrows, and asked: "Taylor. Do you
want me to leave? I will if you want me to, but I don't think that you do, do you?"
Oh, Christ, now I felt even worse, making
her feel bad like that. I awkwardly took the pizza in my hands, before shaking my head. "No. I mean, no, I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay, yeah." Biting my lip, I now nodded, making my way into the room and giving Lisa room to enter after me. "I mean, if that's okay with you, Lisa. I-"
Again, the girl interrupted me, sighing with an exasperated look on her face. "Taylor. It's fine." She gave me a small tap on the cheek, before going over and sitting on my bed. "I really don't mind. I understand the allure of Ransack, and I'm not going to get mad at you for wanting to get in right away." Lisa pointed to my desk chair, and commanded with an authoritative voice. "Now sit down and give me a slice of pizza. And a plate, if you have one, but it's fine if you don't." With a smirk, she added. "And get yourself one, too. Don't think I didn't hear your stomach growling." That got a blush out of me, and the blush got a giggle out of Lisa. All of the earlier anxiety I had melted away, and I took a moment to be glad that a girl like her was making such an effort to be my friend.
I did, indeed, have set of paper plates ready for occasions just like this - to say that I ate pizza in my room sometimes would be an understatement - and the two of us managed to keep the crumbs off of my desk and my mattress in the process of chowing down on the unhealthy goodness of Papa Tino's pepperoni pizza. Once I had a full slice in my belly, I wiped my fingers off with a napkin and returned to my laptop. "So, as you can see, I managed to get it mostly set-up." I grimaced a little bit as I explained the problem I had gone through earlier. "I had to turn the graphics all the way down, as this hunk of crap isn't exactly built for high-end gaming."
Lisa nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, Rachel's in a similar situation. We've managed to make it work, though." With a tilt of her head and a smile, she added. "I'm impressed that you got all that figured out on your own, though. Didn't you say something about not usually playing video games? Figuring out graphical settings isn't something most novices can do."
I shook my head and shrugged. "I mean, I'm fairly experienced with computers, so I can usually figure out a program's options, at least. I had to fiddle around a bit, but I did eventually manage to find it." I started going through some of the other stuff I had managed to discover. "Anyways, I'm guessing that the only class I have unlocked right now is the Adventurer class?" I had tried to look at the other pre-made classes the game had, but all of them were greyed out with a lock and chain around the character model.
Lisa nodded in affirmation. "Yeah. You unlock a few by doing the tutorials, a few by just playing your first couple of games, and then the rest you can buy with in-game currency you get by playing, or..." The girl's face suddenly turned into an expression of pure disgust. "...microtransactions." Noticing the look of confusion on my face, she elaborated further. "Oh, sorry, umm. Basically, microtransactions are additional purchases inside of a game that you've already purchased or otherwise have ownership in. They're usually much cheaper than the initial purchase price, or otherwise fairly inexpensive, so they're 'micro' transactions." Lisa pointed to my screen for emphasis, before continuing. "Technically, Ransack
is free-to-play, and it
does need
some way to make money, but..." With a sigh, Lisa shrugged heavily, with a great deal of resignation in the motion. "...I just wish that they only charged for cosmetic items, rather than for the classes and booster packs and stuff." I must have still looked pretty thrown-off, as she smiled apologetically and waved the subject off. "That's uhh, some pretty deep and heavy stuff, though, so I'm not going to burden you with that right now." Lisa leaned in for another stage whisper, a conspiratorial look on her face. "Just don't tell Brian I said that, though. We get into pretty bad arguments on the subject. He thinks..." Canceling the stage whisper, Lisa pulled back, giving another sheepish look. "Sorry. I did say I'd stop talking about it. Anyways!"
I nodded, perhaps a bit dumbly, before turning back to the game. "That's fine. I'm sure I'll figure it out, anyways. But yeah, the other thing is..." My mouse cursor moved up to the play button, which I had noticed - in spite of my first inclination to jump right into things - was actually greyed out. When I hovered over it, red text popped up after a quick second. "Please play the basic Hero tutorials before joining any games." I looked towards Lisa, with a bit of an incredulous look on my face.
The girl sighed, nodding slowly. "Yeah. Sorry. Entity, they... Oh, sorry, that's the people who make Ransack." I nodded, though I already knew that - I didn't bother to interrupt her, though. "Entity thinks that
every new player should have to go through the tutorial, no matter what. Even if they've played other games like it before. It... Most people hate it, yeah, but Entity just refuses to get rid of it." Looking kind of pained, Lisa gave me another apology. "Seriously, sorry. But the first few tutorials are relatively painless and short. We can probably get through them in less than twenty minutes. The more in-depth tutorials take a bit longer, especially the Overlord ones, but we don't have to worry about those right now." Lisa must have remembered something, as a sudden grimace came across her face. "Ah. They, uhh. They also want you to play a few bot games before joining up with other players. For, uhh, training purposes, I suppose." I actually began to felt bad with how guilty Lisa looked. "I'm really, really sorry. I know this seems completely obtuse, but we can get through it fast and have you playing with us in no time, I promise."
I laughed and put up my hands plaintively. "It's fine, Lisa, don't worry. It's not your fault or anything, and I don't mind some time to get familiar with the game. Even, if, uhh, I already did play a round earlier..." I smiled, and Lisa smiled back, and we both laughed a little bit as I moved my mouse over to where the "TUTORIAL" button was lit up in green.
Before I could press it, though, my dorm room door opened up. I looked at the real-time clock, and realized that, sure enough, it was six thirty, right about when my dorm mate usually got back - had Lisa and I really already been talking for that long? I frowned a little, and Lisa must have noticed, as her smile turned downward in sympathy; regardless, though, I turned around in my chair to face and greet my room mate, Charlotte Horowitz.
"Oh." Her eyes went wide for a moment, as if she couldn't believe the scene she was looking at. "Umm. Hi, Taylor. You... Have a friend over?" I knew she didn't mean anything by it, but I still felt an urge to slap her across the face build up.
Yes, Charlotte, I had a
friend over. I
know that you've never, ever seen me in the company of a friend - Greg, as everyone knew, didn't really count - but just
imagine. Taylor Hebert, the
locker girl, had a
friend. She had managed to overcome the four long years of harassment by the Trio and made a God damned fucking
friend at university.
It wasn't fair, I knew. Charlotte didn't have anything to do with my bullying, and it wasn't as if she was alone in being a useless bystander who never did anything to help me. But when the
first thing she asked me when she found out my name was "Oh! Weren't you the girl that got shoved into the locker sophomore year?" Yeah, I'm sorry, Charlotte, but I
really don't have a very high opinion of you.
The worst part was that Charlotte was a
constant reminder of my time at Winslow whenever she was in the room with me. That was a period of my life that I was trying to
put behind me now, but this girl, this
fucking girl, was making it that much harder to do so. So, yeah, maybe I tried my best to avoid her whenever possible. Maybe I tried my best to stay out late until I knew she would be asleep. Maybe I tried my best to wake up early and get out of the room before she was up. And yeah, maybe it
was unfair to do all of that, just for the sake of being able to keep myself from remembering Winslow and everything that happened there. But Dr. Yamada had told me during our sessions - repeatedly, almost like a mantra - that my mental health came first above almost everything else, and I was making sure that my mental health was coming first above making nice and being friends with my dorm mate.
Or maybe I was just using that as an excuse to be a bitch towards somebody I was bitter about, I didn't know.
An awkward, forced smile crossed my face as I nodded towards Charlotte. "Yeah. Is... Is that okay?" Why was I even asking? This was
my room, even if Charlotte also lived in it. I could bring friends over if I wanted. I could hang out with cool people like Lisa if I wanted.
Charlotte returned a look that was as awkward and as forced as my own, before nodding back at me. "Yeah. Umm. That's fine." I saw her sniff the air and look at the pizza box, and I could tell that she was considering asking for a slice. I didn't bother to offer one of my own volition, though; I wasn't feeling anywhere near that generous towards her, to say the least.
"Okay. Cool." I turned my attention back towards the game as Charlotte dropped off her stuff on her bed. Lisa gave me a concerned look, clearly worried about whatever was going on between me and Charlotte, but I simply shook my head; I felt that Lisa was somebody who I might eventually be able to tell about my past at Winslow, but I also didn't think that such a point would be coming any time soon, either. Instead, I took a few deep breaths, practicing the breathing exercises that I had been taught, before opening my eyes and nodding confidently at my friend. With a smile, Lisa nodded back, and I clicked on the tutorial button, while doing my best to ignore Charlotte behind me.
As the game began to load up the map, I turned towards Lisa and started asking about some other parts of the game that I had noticed earlier. "So, what's up with disciplines? I saw those earlier, and they looked pretty important, but I didn't really get the time to learn about them, either."
Lisa nodded as she began playfully kicking her feet where they were hanging off my bed, an inch above the floor. "Yeah! You'll learn about disciplines in a later, optional tutorial you can do, but they are pretty important, like you figured. Basically, think of them like a color palette for a painting you're doing..." An odd, somewhat unfamiliar sensation began to come over me as I sat there and listened to Lisa talk my ear off, a feeling that I hadn't known since middle school, I vaguely remembered. It was warm, relaxing, comfortable, and most of all, it was safe, so very, very safe.