Random Luck, Zero Mercy

[Juicy Saint]

Ok, so initial thoughts on death, you know, after getting pasted by a truck across the freeway, are that death is not that bad, but what I would really like to know is why I'm floating here in the void like a mook, "yo, whatever asshole brought me here better start talking, or I'm leaving."

"And where exactly would you go, mortal?" a echoing voice whispered from beyond my view in an almost taunting manner.

"To fuck your mother, that's where you omnipotent asshole, now what the fuck do you want?" I stated calmly, not letting their taunting get to me in the slightest.

"Well, considering I was born as a lightning spirit, why don't you go shove your dick in an electrical socket and tell me how much you enjoyed it? Either way, we're getting off topic. Basically, I'm a R.O.B., and you're getting reincarnated. Your cheat power is the chaos gatcha, and I'm sending you to the world of MHA."

"Do I have any other options? MHA is a bit over done isn't it ?" I asked briskly

"Sure, you do I could send you as a D-class to the SCP Foundation if you want."

"MHA IS FINE THANKS, GREAT EVEN, PLEASE AND THANK YOU, KIND SIR," I answered calmly to avoid being sent to what can only be described as an express ticket to hell's bigger, meaner, more abusive brother.

"Good now as with how these things normally go you get 3 gold tickets and I send you to a random place in Japan to start" the being stated almost boredly as 3 golden disk shaped tokens floated around him "but seeing as your body got turned in to road pizza and because I don't like you enough to repair it im gonna have you rebirthed in to a new body and here is where you get to make a decision" he started with a gleeful tone.

"Yeah, and what would that decision be?" This is definitely not going to end well, but I may as well see what this jack off has to offer before I jump the gun again.

"Well normally when rebirthed you would start as you are being born but im willing to let you pick a starting age under the condition that you spin a wheel that will apply a anime cliché to you, it can be anything from being a Shonen protagonist to being a cuck in one of those hentai your kind is so enthralled with, the choice is yours but let it be know that it will be permanent".

So it's either be birthed again or get stuck with some stupid trope? Yeah, yeah fuck that, I'm not getting shot out of the old spawn tunnel again. "Spin the wheel, I'mn't going through that again, especially while fully aware of it happening".

And so a huge wheel with countless slots appeared and began to spin at a rapid pace "come on, come on give me something I can work with here" it better not make me a trap or some weird shit like that, and as the wheel slowed down I t looked like it was about to stop on femboy to my utter despair before ticking over on to another spot.

"Dark skinned foreigner? Isn't that a bit racist to have as a trope" I mean, I was mixed in my last life, so it's not a bad one to roll but still...

"My species has no concept of race, so no, either way, you are one lucky bastard. I tell you that, to end up with a positive hentai tope is very unlikely, either way you went through with your side of the bargain, so I will do the same, so how old do you want to start, as in the next life?"

"13 I wanna start at age 13, it should give me enough time to train my powers before canon," and some time to gather more tickets didn't hurt.

"Cool, now time to roll your tickets," he stated, throwing the tokens into my being before I could get out a word.

ROLLING GOLD TICKET X 3...

[Dress Break]
|Rare Ability|
DxD - By touching a target, you can destroy their clothing or Armor. You can also delay this effect for up to an hour.​

Ok to some, this may be trash, but I think I could work with this. "Not bad, I could have done much worse." Let's see what else there is to offer. I really need something that could deal some damage.

Name: Favour Cheque
Type: Item
Rarity: Elite (4.8)
Description:
A blank cheque that you can hand over to someone to cash in a favour with them. The favour is not large enough to make someone do something that strongly goes against their moral codes, but large enough that they will try to fulfil it even if it greatly inconveniences them, like letting you live in their house rent-free, etc. Once the check is used, it will be burnt.​

Well, that could certainly come in handy later, maybe I could trade it to Mirko for a free ride on the rabbit express, if you know what I mean, either way it's still not an offensive power, and I doubt I could trade it to All Might for one for all, so back to the drawing board.

[Tinker - Alchemy(III)]
|Epic Ability|
Allows you to design, modify, and build technology and technological constructs related to alchemical reagents, potions, and the production of those items. Such as potions that permanently alter bodies, potent ingredients such as more potent gunpowder and flesh-eating acid, and general potions such as Healing, Mana, and Ironskin, with notable potency, but the stronger a target that consumes a potion, the less effective it is, and vice versa. The more potent a potion is, the better materials you need for it.​

Oh, now this I can have some fun with, I can't wait to see what sort of lewd potions I could cook up. "ok, that's everything, right? So could you send me on my way now, asshat?" I was getting sick of floating in nothingness.

"Yeah, yeah, you're stinking up the place anyway."

With that, I was volleyed out of the void and sent spiralling into my new life in a hero-ridden world. What could go wrong?