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I probably won't ever write another chapter of this, I don't even have a name for the damn...

rkyeun

Cabbitus Maximus
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Mar 27, 2018
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I probably won't ever write another chapter of this, I don't even have a name for the damn thing, but what the hell. I was in a mood and needed to do something to vent and writing feels good when I get into flow and posting things makes me feel good even if I think it sucks. So have some crack. Also the color scheme is screwing with me on some themes. Why would a fieldset be gray on only slightly lighter gray background? Why would anyone think that's a valid theme? I might come back and edit this for better formatting. Yep, I did. Wrote second person quests for long enough to have it affect my style pretty permanently. Think I got them all.

Attempt Number 497. Plan J variation 7.
Wake up. Jump out of bed. Transform. Heal heart. Heal eyes.
Immediate to do: Kill Oriko. Collect needle witch's seed. Catch Amy. Heal Kyousuke. Warn Madoka.
Wait. Not alone. Magical girl behind me!
❙❙
HERE? NOW? HOW! How can someone ambush me before I've even-!
Oriko.
Draw pistol. Turn. Aim. Nothing.
The bed where I sleep. Nothing out the window. Nothing in the bathroom. Just the bed where... I... still... lay sleeping...
Well, this is new. Aim.
"Who are you, and why do you look like me?"
"AAAH! I don't look like you! Your face is mean and... Who are you? How did you get in my room!?"
"I'm here to save Madoka."
"Uh... uh... But... But I wished to... Oh my god! You're EVIL me!"
"When. How many loops ago."
"Just two!"
"I'm back in the SECOND timeline?"
"N-no, the second LOOP? Y-you asked how many loops, right?" She's sobbing.
Put pistol away.
❙❙
Oh. So she... just... gem-killed...
I need you to do something I can't.
Deep breath. I've been here before, having to...
I'm glad.
3, 96, 117, 119, 177, 258... is a thankfully rare end to...
Could I ask you... for one more thing?
But there's a reason I don't try Plan B anymore.
Suck it up. Clench that jaw. There's work to do. I can't sit here grief spiraling in timestop.
I don't even have the needle witch's seed yet to cleanse it with.
Clean my face. I don't even have to breathe, my body's a rock and I'm making a meat puppet cry. Stop being stupid.
"Okay, I wasn't expecting to find you here. Normally when I come back, it's just me. Compare notes. We have to come up with a plan to save her."
"Y-yeah... Walpurgisnacht is coming, and he... we all..."
"We have to stop her from contracting before that. She told you about the cat, right?"
"Stop who?"
"MADOKA!"
You finally called me by my first name.
"What? No! Madoka can't form a contract!"
"Right, we have to stop her. And in order to stop her we have to-"
"He can't contract! Madoka's a boy!"
"..."
❙❙
Go to Kaname residence. Look in Madoka's window. Shelf is full of model cars, robots, action figures.
Room's still full of chairs, but also carpentry tools, clamps, boards, and shavings. Madoka's been making the chairs.
Madoka's face is... just a little different. Slightly shorter hair. And he's topless under his sheet. Definitely a boy.
Spiraling? Why am I spiraling again? Stop it, stop it, STOP! This is good!
Madoka can't contract. Madoka CAN'T contract! All I have to do is keep them ALIVE! I don't even have to beat Walpurgisnacht!
I can just grab everyone and fucking LEAVE, gem yanked if I have to...
But she'd be depressed if - he'd be depressed, if I made him leave the city to ruin, and... How many things does this change?
Will Walpurgisnacht even COME if Madoka can't contract?! Wait, no, she said it did. Is it after ME then? Who's the next strongest...
I don't know who it's coming for. She wouldn't have had enough loops to try to find out. Fine. We'll kill it. Teambuilding plan then.
The sweets witch... no, Nagisa should be saved this time. That would make Mami happy AND keep her from losing her head.
If Nagisa's with Mami, and I take out Oriko now, then Yuma's with Kyoko later, then the kids become friends, that brings Mami and Kyoko back together...
Sayaka's still going to contract no matter what I do, so I still need to manipulate her wish into something smarter by healing Kyousuke first.
What wish to steer her towards, though. Something that will help keep them unwitched longer?
Forehead smack.
Madoka can't contract! I can tell them everything from the start, if I do it right! Madoka can't contract! Madoka CAN'T contract!
He can't get offended about the details of the magical system and make a contract out of sympathy just to help Mami and spite me!
AHAHAHAHA! Madoka can't contraaaact! I can just TELL Sayaka a good wish to make! Nagisa too!
There are so many awful, sad things in this world...
In my cute excitable voice, "No, Mami! We DON'T have to die! Don't you see? Now that we know, we can be ready!"
"We can catch new witches right when they happen, before they can hurt anyone! We still won't hurt people!"
"When one of us is about to turn into a witch, we'll all go somewhere far away, and you can deal with me there."
I lied before. I had one left.
"And when that happens, you can take my grief seed. I trust you. Use it to stay alive and make wishes keep coming true."
"Wait! Sayaka! You still haven't wished! Wish that witches can't hurt anyone anymore! That's a good idea, right Mami?"
Stop dancing. Go back to hospital.
"This changes everything. We'll deal with Walpurgisnacht. Send me a text message-"
I pull out a second copy of our phone with a different SIM card and send a text to my original number. "-if you need me."
Homura's phone buzzes then stops. Good. "Wait! Why did you think Madoka was a girl?"
"Madoka's always been a girl for me. I fell in love with her. I've been going back over and over to-"
"Oh, so you're a... Wait, I'm not a--! N-not that there's anything wrong with-"
❙❙
It's not my Madoka. It's her Madoka. She doesn't have all the... guilt... and...
And something about seeing Madoka as a boy... didn't quite...
I... mean... I'd still... do... hiiim? Because it's Madoka? But...
Stop spiraling. Fuck, my gem's too dark already.
Let it go. I've done it. I can win this one.
Just for goddamn once please don't fuck it up somehow and kill everyone anyways.
I can stop Homura from going through all the loops. She's still the girl Madoka loves.
Before I had to make her hate me. Before I killed my heart with...
There are lots of things... worth protecting.
But I'm not one of them anymore. Homura is, and Madoka is, and...
This Homura never killed Madoka. Never shot her in the soul and obliterated her from existence.
And she... never will? Because Madoka's a boy in her timeline? Yeah... yeah, that settles it then.
Plan A, variation 18. We're going for a repeat of loops 2, 17, 18, 19, 20, 50, 100, 150... With a few... changes.
This is the final loop. And then they can be... And even if I fail, she can still try again...
Stop spiraling. This is what I wished for. You get what you pay for.
I'm happy.
"-that, but don't tell Hitomi."
"It's okay. I'll make sure you're happy together."
❙❙
Drop to knees. Let that... strangled... gurgled shriek out.
Flinch. S-stand. Clean my face. Don't curse my wish. Goddamnit, don't witch out in the fucking hospital and kill...
...the real Homura. The one Madoka wants to see. The one that...
I swear I will protect you!
...can.
I'm not done yet. Soon, but not yet. STOP IT. I WISHED FOR THIS. You CAN'T get darker I specifically wished to be STRONG ENOUGH to protect... ...her.
HER. Shit. My wish doesn't APPLY in this timeline, does it? I might not be ABLE to go back.
No. No, calm down, the Incubator never dicks with the spirit of the wish, either. I meant Madoka and this is Madoka. I still... love... him. Just not...
It just makes you regret that spirit. I'm strong enough. I wished to be strong enough. And that means
MY GEM CAN'T BREAK UNTIL MADOKA'S SAFE, BECAUSE I WON'T GIVE UP AND NEITHER CAN THE WISH.
The gem stops darkening and starts glowing. But it's still dark enough that any magical girl who knows anything should be scared shitless just looking at it.
It's almost completely black, with just a shining pinprick of amethyst light burning furiously in the center.
I've never tried to come up with a suicide attack before. This should be interesting. Time... bomb... hehehe.
NO. No fucking around with time and Walpurgisnacht. Last thing we want is IT appearing in this bed in loop 498. Or 496. Or whatever.
Just kill it directly. No tricks, brute force, massive overkill.
"Okay, little Homu. Call me Yuri. That's funny in TWO ways, one I'll tell you when you're older, and one I'll tell you when I'm dead. But first, I need to go beg a grief seed from Mami so you don't find out NOW, and then I'll be right back to get down to planning. This time, they'll believe us."
When was the last time I giggled? It's not supposed to sound like THAT is it?
 
Last edited:
Hi. This is also fucking stupid crack, but it wouldn't get out of my brain unless I wrote it, so fuck it. Have some bullshit.


"Hi, this is Danny Hebert. I'd like to come in for power testing. Maybe see if my daughter and I can join the Protectorate. Oh, and there are some bounties I need to claim."

"We're a little busy. It's been a dramatic week what with the attacks and..."

"Yeah, that... most of that was me. Us. I mean..."

"Alright, what's your power and who did you get?"

"Ah, I think you call it a Trump? I'm not really familiar with the terms. I can suck the powers out of one person and send them into someone else not me. Forever. I just... wanted to keep my girl safe and... I was so frustrated that I couldn't, and people kept coming after her and... I'm not really sure how my wife's back or why she has tiger stripes but I could really use some help and someone to talk to."

"Is someone singing?"

"My wife's singing a lullaby. My daughter's very tired after the week we've had."

"Understandable. It's pretty, can I listen?"

Hush little baby, don't say a word, Momma has silenced the Shatterbird,
And since that Shatterbird won't sing, Momma went and ripped out all the Teeth.
And then once the Teeth were done, Momma tore out Jack's lying tongue.
And after Cherish you need joy, so Momma's gone and erased a Gray Boy.
And when Kaiser lost his race, Momma shot a Hatchet in the Face.
And while Contessa couldn't see, Momma went and slaughtered the Blasphemies.
And with Burnscar ash the lizard's done, it's hard to breathe fire without your Lungs.
And after Crawler turned to slime, Momma accidentally crushed Nice Guy.
And when Nice Guy was ground to slaw, Momma went and unmade young Bonesaw.
And when Blasto brought more clones, Momma made him fear being all alone.
And though that fight was such a slog, Mom decided next was old Nilbog.
And when the last hung from the tree, my baby was the Butcher Infinity.

"Well, you're clearly no threat, I can't see why anyone would give your family such trouble."

"Do you think the bounties are enough to restore Brockton Bay?"

And when you wake we'll have a walk, there's still a Shadow to Stalk.

"Certainly, sir."

"Great, does tomorrow work? There's still one thing we have to do."

And so this ending can be sweet: Door to Scion's real body.
 

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