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"Ah, so bitter,"
I almost choked on the disgusting taste of the muddy green medicine that I...
Chapter 1

Loseria

Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?
Joined
Dec 3, 2023
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"Ah, so bitter,"
I almost choked on the disgusting taste of the muddy green medicine that I sipped. My throat clenched in reflex, making it difficult to breathe.
"Don't make a fuss and finish the bowl completely. It's very important for us," my mother said with a cold expression. Her slightly wrinkled face twisted in an unreadable expression, one a mother shouldn't wear.
"I k-know," I said meekly, not wanting her to get mad again.
Outside, pink sakura leaves floated in the air, forming a cluster of fragrance and allure. The sun was high in the sky, shining brightly over the green grass of the garden.
The calming sound of shishi odoshi (a garden decoration item) mixed with the chirping of swallows and bees did very little to ease my nausea.
"Don't make a face like that. Accept your duty that has been bestowed upon you. Only you can protect your siblings and the village. You will be seen as their savior," my mother declared.
This woman was my mother, I had to believe she was. But how could she? How could her heart allow it?
The medicine was prepared with fukuto (a poisonous herb) and a bit of sake (wine). It was crafted carefully by my father, an apothecary.
In small quantities, it won't kill you and grant you immunity to the poison. But being forced to drink it three bowls a day for six years, about 6570 bowls, the toxins had polluted my blood and organs, making me poisonous myself.
Why this, you ask? Why was I forced to ruin my own blood and body? By my own parents too?
The reason for this was heartbreaking I was about to be sacrificed. I was to be a demon's feast.
In this cruel world, humans have a natural predator: Demons.
They look like humans, talk like humans, but they eat humans. They can't eat anything else. Only human flesh satisfies their hunger. They kill and eat without hesitation, too evil for our resistance.
"Good, you are doing well... keep going," my mother encouraged.
Today was my 16th birthday. It was almost time.
"N-no mother... I don't... I don't want this..." I shook my head desperately, looking down at my mother's lap. How could I accept such a thing? Why do I have to die so young?
"I am sorry... I know... I am a terrible mother but... what can we do? Please forgive me..." My mother enveloped me, her scent sweet, her embrace warm, yet to me, she was just a selfish and pathetic woman.
As I knelt on the tatami mat, tears streaming down my face, clad in a traditional kimono, my eyes reflected the fear of impending doom.
"I wanted to dance beneath the cherry blossoms, feeling their petals brush against my fingertips," I whispered, voice choked with sorrow. "To taste the sweetness of freshly made mochi in the spring breeze."
The mother seemed to tighten her grip on me as she also joined my cry of desperation.
"I dreamed of learning the art of calligraphy, to capture fleeting emotions with each stroke of the brush," I continued, voice quivering. "To wander through vibrant marketplaces, savoring the aroma of spices and listening to the lively chatter of the vendors."
My toxic tears mirrored the sun tapping gently on the wooden shoji screens.
"I yearned to visit the ocean, to find solace in quiet gardens and play with my little brothers and sisters tirelessly," I confessed. "To hold a delicate paper fan adorned with tales of mythical creatures, and let it flutter in the summer breeze."
My mother's gaze fixated on the intricately woven tatami beneath her.
"I longed to wear a vibrant yukata, adorned with patterns that tell stories of our culture, and join festive celebrations," she spoke softly. "To marvel at autumn leaves ablaze with colors, as they whispered tales of change and renewal."
As the weight of her impending fate pressed down, she shared her final aspirations.
"I wanted to play ancient melodies on a shamisen, letting haunting notes weave tales of love and joy," I confessed, voice now barely a whisper. "To gaze at Fuji-san, standing tall and majestic. I wanted to live a normal life. But what did I get mother? Why was I isolated from everyone? Why was I told I was born to die? Why do I have to be the savior? I don't want this... any of this...."
No other words came out after that. I was being selfish, but it was my life. Can I decide what would happen to it?
"Think about your siblings, the other children in the village. If it's not you, it's them. You are the eldest one here. It's your responsibility. I am ashamed but helpless. What do you want me to do... They killed my brother, they killed my cousins, they killed your uncles, they killed the shogun, they killed everyone mercilessly. We are no different from cattle for them. We have no choice. You have to do this for us... I beg you... please..."
She was still crying. She cried every night; my father cried every night while preparing the medicine. The whole village cried. No one was happy. Peace and calm were long gone. The day that damned demon arrived in our village, it was over for us.
He called himself Ryoichi, arrived suddenly without warning. He killed my uncle, my mother's brother, the samurai tasked with guarding the village. He tried to resist but stood no chance. Ryoichi gave him a brutal death, hoisting his body on a pole in the middle of the village. He wanted to make am example out of him.
Hell had broken over my mother. She loved her brother dearly, and to see such a sight, she could have died of trauma if her motherly instincts to protect her own children hadn't kicked in.
Ryoichi took over the village, demanding everyone to follow him or he would kill them.
"I don't want to kill, I just want to eat," the demon said, laughing maniacally, making the blood of even me, a little girl at that time, boil with anger.
Since then, he would pick someone to eat from the village every month, mostly children with an occasional young woman or two. Whoever refused or tried to leave the village was killed by him.
"The only reason you are alive is so that your meat remains fresh and you can produce more food by copulation. If you can't do that, just die."
Unacceptable! Who the hell was he to say that? We are not food. We have lives, emotions, dreams. No one would accept this inhumane treatment, would they?
Well, they did. The mothers cried rivers, embracing their children at first; a mother would rather die than let her precious children become food for a monster. But Ryoichi was clever. He knew if he killed everyone that resisted, the village would perish, and all the food would rot. There is only so much he can eat at once. He needed a way to keep them obedient, if not the stick then the carrot.
"I will take one child under 16 years from a family only. If they accept this, I will leave them alone for 10 years before demanding more food from them. Oh, my, aren't I generous..."
This was twisted too but slightly less cruel. Most households had more than three children. Sacrificing one of them gave the others a chance to live. It was all for the children, thought the mother's and hardened their hearts.
That's what was about to happen to me as well. It was our house's turn to sacrifice. Exactly 10 years after the demon arrived.
"It will be fine. Just believe in your father. I swear we will meet again in heaven. Us all..."
She left the embrace and faced me. She wiped my tears off my face and kissed my forehead.
"I am proud of you. You are a strong young woman," she said, her eyes still moist. Her long hair rippled with the cool breeze. "Today is your birthday. You can have anything that you desire to eat. I will prepare it for you. Say, what do you want?..."
She smiled in an effort to comfort me. Perhaps she wanted me to enjoy myself to the fullest in my last hours. She was asking for my last meal request.
"Raw Fugu (Puffer Fish). I will prepare them myself," I said briefly.
"You sure love that, don't you? As you wish. I will have it procured."
She stood up, carefully handling her yukata, and bowed to me as if I was someone important, then slowly stepped backward toward the sliding door.
"Wash off my tears from your hands," I said, knowing that she might poison some food by accidentally touching it with the hands she wiped my tears with.
She nodded and left, sliding the door shut after her. Now that she was gone, it was time to prepare my heart for what was about to come.
"Tonight, I might die," I looked at my pure white face in the dressing mirror. "But that demon would definitely die." I said, slapping my cheeks to draw the determination I needed. I wasn't the type to accept fate as it was.
My skin was paled by the poision and expression hardened by despair. The poison had made my skin smoother and moist, leaving me no need to wear makeup. I had inherited my mother's stunning beauty. My eyes pure black with a faint tint of green, lips bluish from the toxins. My hair was long and shiny, reaching to my waist. If I had long to live and was allowed to leave my room, I was sure people would praise me. I wanted to be praised, but not by my family. Even the ugly daughters are praised by their families.
"It's all because of him," I grunted, gritting my teeth. I wasn't allowed to even play with my beloved siblings for fear they would get poisoned if I wasn't careful. Day and night, inside this luxurious empty room, all I had were some novels to quench my boredom. But they were a curse in disguise. Whenever I read them, I was forced to realize the amazing things that I could have enjoyed and experienced if I wasn't just food. The things they wrote about in the novels, so beautiful and very far out of my reach.
"I will never forgive him, EVER. I will kill him. I will definitely save my village."
Once the demon eats me, the poison in my body will affect him, and he will die. That was my father's plan. He was skilled with poisons and was sure it would work. This herb was one of the three poisons believed to work on demons. But what if it did? I would have died to even know. My life would have ended. The self-sacrifice was never a perfect plan. What about my life? No, I refuse!
"I WILL KILL THAT BASTARD MYSELF..."
With all due respect to my father, I can only ever see him as a coward. Even when his brother-in-law was killed and hanged in the streets, he didn't do anything. He never even left the house. He never even talks to me anymore with the excuse of not wanting to be too attached to me. I can't trust a man like that and his plan.
"I have a plan of my own..."
*Knock, knock.*
My mother knocked the door before sliding it open and coming inside. She was carrying a tray in her hands, and under that tray was a paper bag.
"Here. There is your meal. After eating, please get changed in this kimono..." She said, her eyes soft with grief and helplessness. It was evident it was hard for her. It was best that I don't say anything.
"I will leave you alone now. Please enjoy your meal." She left the kimono and the tray in front of me and exited the room.
"Yeah, leave me alone for now. I will definitely see you soon again..."
I picked up the cover over the tray to reveal the fugu (puffer fish). With that, a handful of white rice and salad was also inside the plate. But the most important thing I needed from there was a sashimi knife. I purposely asked for raw fish so that she would give me the knife as well.
The puffer fish is a delicious fish with lethal poison in its ovaries and liver. To eat this without dying, one needs an experienced chef. But I was basically immune to its Poison so I could enjoy its delish without any worries.
"Itadakimasu."
I picked up the knife and carefully sliced the fish vertically to remove the bones and began eating. I didn't even need to cook it. My body could dissolve the toxins carried by raw fish easily. I slowly cut small parts of the meat with the knife and brought them to my mouth with the chopsticks.
The firm and slightly chewy texture enhanced the slightly sweet taste of the pink meat, washing off the disgusting taste of the medicine completely.
"Umai! (Delicious!)"
There was a reason for the high cost of this fish; despite being poisonous and lethal, people can't help but give in to the amazing taste, even if it meant risking their lives.
I also took bites of rice and salad occasionally to fill my stomach completely. I was in dire need of energy today. I was going in for a struggle for my life. A do or die situation.
"Gochisoisama.(thanks for the food.)"
I said putting down my chopsticks. My small stomach was already full with the medicine I just chugged and could barely eat much. But that sure was refreshing.
"Now then, let's start..."
I untied the black kimono belt and let the great kimono fall down off the tatami from my shoulders, exposing my slender body to the sun. I picked up the paper bag and pulled out a beautiful violet kimono from within it. It was slightly bigger than the former one with green flowers engraved beautifully. It smelled fresh from the seamstress'.
I was pretty skilled at wearing the kimono and yukatas, as I always tried them on and off to pass the time. It was a fun thing to do, and now I don't need any help in wearing one. I can do it all by myself.
After the beautiful piece of fabric was covering my body, I looked in the mirror to analyze. Something was off.
I was just about to die, but my face was already that of a corpse. So pale, so cold. Expressionless. I quickly rummaged the drawers of the dressing table to look for something. I found a red lipstick.
"This will do. My lips should look nice. I should smile. There is no way I will die. No way..."
I kept telling myself as I applied the lipstick. Its oily texture made my lips a bit sticky and uncomfortable. I smacked my lips together and smiled.
"Good. I am so beautiful!"
I said to myself admiring my image in the mirror. I needed this. I was strong. I was beautiful. I was not food. I was a human.
I spend the rest of the time hardening my resolve & going over the plan I had made again and again in my brain.
"Tonight I will take revenge on you. I swear I will make you suffer. You damned demon!"

I kept repeating that in my head.


To be continued.
 
This is very interesting, definetly looking forward to updates
 
Needs a lot of formatting.

If you struggle with formatting, a good trick is to Chatgpt to format this for you.
 
Hi, there.

You REALLY need to threadmark the first chapter.
 
Threadmarks are out of order, going chapters 2, 3, 1.
 

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