Across the Six Galaxies, it had been five years since the opening of the Vault of the Destroyer...
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Steak Dinner [Borderlands/MGQ]
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Guess whose coming to dinner
ScriptGenius12
Versed in the lewd.
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Across the Six Galaxies, it had been five years since the opening of the Vault of the Destroyer.
More recent events, like the rise of the man who would be Jack and the quest of a young Hero named Luka, one whom was slowly but steadily carving his way through legions of mutants on his way to the moon of Hellgondo, home of the Fateburn Clan to challenge the current Lord of the Monsters to combat, were punching the status quo inthe kidneys like you wouldn't believe.
There are many other tales to be talked about from this; everyone the Hero met on his journey.
The new generation of Vault Hunters joining with the Crimson Raiders to bring Handsome Jack down.
The new mini-Corporate War between Torgue and the Artiste Coven Co, Torgue because they thought that blowing up zombies would be awesome and the Artiste witches and succubi because Torgue kept blowing their zombies up.
The upcoming performance of Hamlet by Pandora's psychos and bandit legions on Live ECHO-Net.
All of this and more brought far reaching consequences.
That is not today's focus.
Instead, the story of the hour takes place on the Moon village of Yamatai in the Sentoran System-
No, you are a poor orphan you cannot go there now. Kill some bandits first then take their money.
Okay Marcus.
So, let's go on. The story starts with a cat-
[-]
Yamatai Village
For a grey-furred young Nekomata with red and green heterochromiac eyes, the recent changes in the status quo proved to be a welcome. During the day, she lazed around and was worshipped and given offerings by the devoted human population of Yamatai, many of them descendants of Monster Girl fans like the ones reading this prose.
But at night, she had found a new niche for herself and a business sense; the Bounty Boards.
Neko (Her parents were unimaginative) would stay there and hand out quests and money to any aspiring adventurers who helped clear up trouble on the moon, and in exchange she would be well-compensated by Tamamo No Mae herself depending on how much quota she filled.
Today was the usual line of quests; destroy 20 invasive skags, deliver thin fried tofu shipments, bring paint for the Sylph statue, slap the bastard out of some annoying youths, etc.
It was midnight when the first adventurer came in to the thatch building where her stall was.
BOOM
"MEAT FOR THE MEAT MACHINE!"
-Blowing the bloody doors off in the process. Neko paused then gaped.
The man was a hulking brute, seven to nine feet tall. A nailed metal gauntlet was on his right arm, brown wrappings on his left. His pants were orange, almost like an escaped prisoner. A buzz axe hanged from a strap on his hip, a Torque patterned shotgun on his back.
He breathed heavily, a single eye visible under his white gas mask-
PSYCHO!
Alarmed, she let out a "Nyah!" of fear and prepared to jump out the window and alert the village-
"MEATS BACK ON THE MENU!"
With a grunt and the beep of diggistructing material, over twenty pelts of skag hide were plopped on her desk. She balked at the sight of it. She could see some hides of adults and pups, patterns of what were once blazing fire on five of the skags.
Baddasses! He killed five badasses alone!
Usually it took an entire hunting party of monsters and humans to kill this many, just who was this guy-
A thump sounded around the area, and Neko peeked around the stack as five crates of thin fried tofu were set on the ground with surprising gentleness.
"I BRING SUPPER BOYS AND GIRLS AND KITTENS AND FOXES" he roared out before slapping his head.
Neko gulped then composed herself once more. "Neko?" (Are you here to turn in the bounty, dude?)
He nodded then shouted "I NEED TO KILL FAST AND ONLY STICKS AND STONES ARE CHEAPER."
A psycho that could communicate and not kill everything in sight? This may not be so bad.
Neko nodded and strung her fingers across an ECHO console below her desk. "Neko. Neko?" (The reward will be 20,000 Space Yen, sir. Err, your name...?")
"I AM THE WAR IN DEUTCHLAND REBORN!" The maniac hissed, punching the air. Neko nodded once more. "Neko, Neko." (Ah, German word for war? Krieg?")
He nodded, scratching his posterior.
She smiled then turned his bounty in with a click. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
[-]
Krieg would be a common presence at the Bounty Board for the next week or so. He would only appear during the night, presumably busy hunting during the day. His tasks would involve hunting dangerous invasive animals, bandits, and in one instance, dragging back fleeing lamia shrine maiden who had run away after committing the crime of draining a human to death.
Over time, she found herself able to slowly decipher Krieg's mad ramblings a bit more, even when his mere presence seemed to scare the living shit out of multiple heroes and adventurers into leaving, with one (An Illias Temple Trainee) even mistaking him for a monster and lunging forwards with his sword.
Neko was as surprised as anyone else when she lunged forwards, grabbed him by the sword hand, and tossed him out the window in one fleeting move.
"GOOD PASS SOCCER KITTY!"
Krieg was probably smiling under that gas mask.
On one hand, she lost out on a large group of clients. On the other, she gained a one man bounty taker who was almost guaranteed to come back everyday.
Then came the day of the Raid.
[-]
Yamata No Orochi. Raid Boss of Yamatai.
Entire gangs had gone after her and never returned. Groups of leather-bound men with Jakobs shotguns, scaly robed Hellgondian spellswords, even old Crimson Lance badasses with chemical weapons and flamethrowers had disappeared after going against her.
In a way, there was a cruel pragmatism to it. By putting out a big reward for her defeat, they were ensuring that she would be sufficiently fed with all the mercs and soldiers that entered her lair. In turn, Orochi would not rampage across the Moon while Lady Tamamo was away performing her duties at Hellgondo and other parts of the galaxy.
So it came as a moment of dread when Krieg looked at the You Will Lose and Die Later Quest with a burning glare. Without hesitation, he shoved it into his ECHO caster. Her eyes widened as she saw him turn to leave the repaired entrance, moonlight streaming in. "Neko! Neko!" (Wait! At least bring some friends, you can't fight her alone!)
Krieg turned to her and said. "KITTY I WILL TENDERIZE HER TO HELL AND I WILL BRING HER STEAK MEAT BACK FOR EVERYONE!" He turned and began to walk out.
''I WILL WIN BECAUSE-"
He triumphantly raised his buzz axe.
"I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!"
And then he was gone into the darkness.
[-]
With much anxiety she waited.
He did not return until the crack of dawn.
Tea and attempting to meditate did little to alleviate the Nekomata's Stress. Was he dead, drained like all the others? Was he still locked in battle-
The smell of iron hit her nose right as the first signs of sunlight showed.
The doors flung open as Krieg stomped in, hunched over and tired looking for the first time.
Crimson fluid covered him from head to ripped pants.
Bits of flesh and scales could be seen in the teeth of his axe.
Krieg's SDU pinged open, and eight bloody crowns crashed onto the ground.
She could see and hear his heavy breathing, then feel it as she unhesitant walked forwards and wrapped her hands around his pectorals.
"Neko!" (You did it! I was so worried that she got you, but you beat her! You beat Yamata No Orochi alone! I never thought it was possible!)
Krieg tilted his head in confusion. "SNAKE IS STEAK?! WHY WORRY ABOUT MONSTER?"
She briefly thought he was talking about Orochi before she realized who the "Monster" was.
"Neko!" (You aren't a monster to me!)
Neko did not suddenly blush as he gently patted her on the dead, nor did she think about a bunch of kittens running around her with gas masks on their faces and axes in their paws.
No, none of these things happened at all in her imagination!
Moments later, the doors were pushed open far more calmly as a pair of large, sharp brown claws pulled their way through.
Kriged yelled "LOOK OUT KITTY!" and pushed her behind him before pausing and hefting his axe as the bear armed figure entered.
Dressed in a red kimono with plenty of clevage, and brown hair, the smiling Kitsune looked almost royal with her eyes closed and her hair in a shoulder length tail.
Speaking of that, eight brown white tipped tails danced behind her.
Yao!
"Ah," she said with amusement. "You must be the slayer of Orochi. Caused quite the stir when you appeared all covered in blood this morning." She giggled before placing a palm on her cheek. "My my, Lady Tamamo would probably like a word with you..."
Neko quickly realized that she was referring to Krieg. Being a young, lonely woman at night, she bristled. No one was taking Krieg anywhere, he must be tired after all that fighting! Let him rest for once before you use this as an excuse to-
Anything else that she could have done ended when Krieg looked at the Kitsune and tilted his head once more before looking her straight in the eye.
"...MOM?"
Neko gaped before Yao paused then giggled. "Ah, that's so sweet of you to ask, but you appear to have mistaken me for someone else."
Undeterred, Krieg walked forwards without hesitation and grabbed her by the tail. "So,,,Fluffy" None of his loud mania was apparent. Yao appeared to laugh and smile once more. "Oh, how right you are-EEP!" She yelped in surprise. "Oh wait that part in the middle is sensitive-wait!" Krieg poked it.
The doors opened once more as a four legged Kitsune with short blonde hair came in. "Yao, what's taking so long-WHAT" She shouted before Krieg turned and shouted "HORSE FOX!" and leapt onto her back.
"Wait no-"
"Oh Nanabi what I'd give for us to have an ECHO right now-" Yao laughed, looking ready to collapse giggling in tears.
Neko stood, unsure of what to do just before Krieg's own ECHO device activated as it bumped one of Nanabi's grasping tails.
Neko out a yelp of surprise as something wet and hard impacted into her face. Knocked to the ground, she pulled off a roughly cut sliced portion of scaly snake meat the size of her head.
Shouts of surprise and one "WE ARE BLESSED!" could be heard as more sliced Orochi slices flung randomly out the window and the door.
Krieg had kept his promise. Meat was definitely back on the menu.
The people of Yamatai ate well that night.
More recent events, like the rise of the man who would be Jack and the quest of a young Hero named Luka, one whom was slowly but steadily carving his way through legions of mutants on his way to the moon of Hellgondo, home of the Fateburn Clan to challenge the current Lord of the Monsters to combat, were punching the status quo inthe kidneys like you wouldn't believe.
There are many other tales to be talked about from this; everyone the Hero met on his journey.
The new generation of Vault Hunters joining with the Crimson Raiders to bring Handsome Jack down.
The new mini-Corporate War between Torgue and the Artiste Coven Co, Torgue because they thought that blowing up zombies would be awesome and the Artiste witches and succubi because Torgue kept blowing their zombies up.
The upcoming performance of Hamlet by Pandora's psychos and bandit legions on Live ECHO-Net.
All of this and more brought far reaching consequences.
That is not today's focus.
Instead, the story of the hour takes place on the Moon village of Yamatai in the Sentoran System-
No, you are a poor orphan you cannot go there now. Kill some bandits first then take their money.
Okay Marcus.
So, let's go on. The story starts with a cat-
[-]
Yamatai Village
For a grey-furred young Nekomata with red and green heterochromiac eyes, the recent changes in the status quo proved to be a welcome. During the day, she lazed around and was worshipped and given offerings by the devoted human population of Yamatai, many of them descendants of Monster Girl fans like the ones reading this prose.
But at night, she had found a new niche for herself and a business sense; the Bounty Boards.
Neko (Her parents were unimaginative) would stay there and hand out quests and money to any aspiring adventurers who helped clear up trouble on the moon, and in exchange she would be well-compensated by Tamamo No Mae herself depending on how much quota she filled.
Today was the usual line of quests; destroy 20 invasive skags, deliver thin fried tofu shipments, bring paint for the Sylph statue, slap the bastard out of some annoying youths, etc.
It was midnight when the first adventurer came in to the thatch building where her stall was.
BOOM
"MEAT FOR THE MEAT MACHINE!"
-Blowing the bloody doors off in the process. Neko paused then gaped.
The man was a hulking brute, seven to nine feet tall. A nailed metal gauntlet was on his right arm, brown wrappings on his left. His pants were orange, almost like an escaped prisoner. A buzz axe hanged from a strap on his hip, a Torque patterned shotgun on his back.
He breathed heavily, a single eye visible under his white gas mask-
PSYCHO!
Alarmed, she let out a "Nyah!" of fear and prepared to jump out the window and alert the village-
"MEATS BACK ON THE MENU!"
With a grunt and the beep of diggistructing material, over twenty pelts of skag hide were plopped on her desk. She balked at the sight of it. She could see some hides of adults and pups, patterns of what were once blazing fire on five of the skags.
Baddasses! He killed five badasses alone!
Usually it took an entire hunting party of monsters and humans to kill this many, just who was this guy-
A thump sounded around the area, and Neko peeked around the stack as five crates of thin fried tofu were set on the ground with surprising gentleness.
"I BRING SUPPER BOYS AND GIRLS AND KITTENS AND FOXES" he roared out before slapping his head.
Neko gulped then composed herself once more. "Neko?" (Are you here to turn in the bounty, dude?)
He nodded then shouted "I NEED TO KILL FAST AND ONLY STICKS AND STONES ARE CHEAPER."
A psycho that could communicate and not kill everything in sight? This may not be so bad.
Neko nodded and strung her fingers across an ECHO console below her desk. "Neko. Neko?" (The reward will be 20,000 Space Yen, sir. Err, your name...?")
"I AM THE WAR IN DEUTCHLAND REBORN!" The maniac hissed, punching the air. Neko nodded once more. "Neko, Neko." (Ah, German word for war? Krieg?")
He nodded, scratching his posterior.
She smiled then turned his bounty in with a click. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.
[-]
Krieg would be a common presence at the Bounty Board for the next week or so. He would only appear during the night, presumably busy hunting during the day. His tasks would involve hunting dangerous invasive animals, bandits, and in one instance, dragging back fleeing lamia shrine maiden who had run away after committing the crime of draining a human to death.
Over time, she found herself able to slowly decipher Krieg's mad ramblings a bit more, even when his mere presence seemed to scare the living shit out of multiple heroes and adventurers into leaving, with one (An Illias Temple Trainee) even mistaking him for a monster and lunging forwards with his sword.
Neko was as surprised as anyone else when she lunged forwards, grabbed him by the sword hand, and tossed him out the window in one fleeting move.
"GOOD PASS SOCCER KITTY!"
Krieg was probably smiling under that gas mask.
On one hand, she lost out on a large group of clients. On the other, she gained a one man bounty taker who was almost guaranteed to come back everyday.
Then came the day of the Raid.
[-]
Yamata No Orochi. Raid Boss of Yamatai.
Entire gangs had gone after her and never returned. Groups of leather-bound men with Jakobs shotguns, scaly robed Hellgondian spellswords, even old Crimson Lance badasses with chemical weapons and flamethrowers had disappeared after going against her.
In a way, there was a cruel pragmatism to it. By putting out a big reward for her defeat, they were ensuring that she would be sufficiently fed with all the mercs and soldiers that entered her lair. In turn, Orochi would not rampage across the Moon while Lady Tamamo was away performing her duties at Hellgondo and other parts of the galaxy.
So it came as a moment of dread when Krieg looked at the You Will Lose and Die Later Quest with a burning glare. Without hesitation, he shoved it into his ECHO caster. Her eyes widened as she saw him turn to leave the repaired entrance, moonlight streaming in. "Neko! Neko!" (Wait! At least bring some friends, you can't fight her alone!)
Krieg turned to her and said. "KITTY I WILL TENDERIZE HER TO HELL AND I WILL BRING HER STEAK MEAT BACK FOR EVERYONE!" He turned and began to walk out.
''I WILL WIN BECAUSE-"
He triumphantly raised his buzz axe.
"I HAVE THE SHINIEST MEAT BICYCLE!"
And then he was gone into the darkness.
[-]
With much anxiety she waited.
He did not return until the crack of dawn.
Tea and attempting to meditate did little to alleviate the Nekomata's Stress. Was he dead, drained like all the others? Was he still locked in battle-
The smell of iron hit her nose right as the first signs of sunlight showed.
The doors flung open as Krieg stomped in, hunched over and tired looking for the first time.
Crimson fluid covered him from head to ripped pants.
Bits of flesh and scales could be seen in the teeth of his axe.
Krieg's SDU pinged open, and eight bloody crowns crashed onto the ground.
She could see and hear his heavy breathing, then feel it as she unhesitant walked forwards and wrapped her hands around his pectorals.
"Neko!" (You did it! I was so worried that she got you, but you beat her! You beat Yamata No Orochi alone! I never thought it was possible!)
Krieg tilted his head in confusion. "SNAKE IS STEAK?! WHY WORRY ABOUT MONSTER?"
She briefly thought he was talking about Orochi before she realized who the "Monster" was.
"Neko!" (You aren't a monster to me!)
Neko did not suddenly blush as he gently patted her on the dead, nor did she think about a bunch of kittens running around her with gas masks on their faces and axes in their paws.
No, none of these things happened at all in her imagination!
Moments later, the doors were pushed open far more calmly as a pair of large, sharp brown claws pulled their way through.
Kriged yelled "LOOK OUT KITTY!" and pushed her behind him before pausing and hefting his axe as the bear armed figure entered.
Dressed in a red kimono with plenty of clevage, and brown hair, the smiling Kitsune looked almost royal with her eyes closed and her hair in a shoulder length tail.
Speaking of that, eight brown white tipped tails danced behind her.
Yao!
"Ah," she said with amusement. "You must be the slayer of Orochi. Caused quite the stir when you appeared all covered in blood this morning." She giggled before placing a palm on her cheek. "My my, Lady Tamamo would probably like a word with you..."
Neko quickly realized that she was referring to Krieg. Being a young, lonely woman at night, she bristled. No one was taking Krieg anywhere, he must be tired after all that fighting! Let him rest for once before you use this as an excuse to-
Anything else that she could have done ended when Krieg looked at the Kitsune and tilted his head once more before looking her straight in the eye.
"...MOM?"
Neko gaped before Yao paused then giggled. "Ah, that's so sweet of you to ask, but you appear to have mistaken me for someone else."
Undeterred, Krieg walked forwards without hesitation and grabbed her by the tail. "So,,,Fluffy" None of his loud mania was apparent. Yao appeared to laugh and smile once more. "Oh, how right you are-EEP!" She yelped in surprise. "Oh wait that part in the middle is sensitive-wait!" Krieg poked it.
The doors opened once more as a four legged Kitsune with short blonde hair came in. "Yao, what's taking so long-WHAT" She shouted before Krieg turned and shouted "HORSE FOX!" and leapt onto her back.
"Wait no-"
"Oh Nanabi what I'd give for us to have an ECHO right now-" Yao laughed, looking ready to collapse giggling in tears.
Neko stood, unsure of what to do just before Krieg's own ECHO device activated as it bumped one of Nanabi's grasping tails.
Neko out a yelp of surprise as something wet and hard impacted into her face. Knocked to the ground, she pulled off a roughly cut sliced portion of scaly snake meat the size of her head.
Shouts of surprise and one "WE ARE BLESSED!" could be heard as more sliced Orochi slices flung randomly out the window and the door.
Krieg had kept his promise. Meat was definitely back on the menu.
The people of Yamatai ate well that night.
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