The Cat Man's Balls of Yarn (Snippets Thread.)

[ThatCatMan]

Ok, so this is my third attempt at writing. The first two went... they went poorly. This is also my final year of school, so I'm gonna be swamped with both homework, and trying to find a trade to go into. So, I'm definitely going to have an update schedule so bad it could rival Technoblade's own. I'm warning you now.​

---

Christmas Is Ruined​

Taro thought his girlfriend was strange. Well, that was an understatement, considering she's very new to feeling emotions whatsoever. She had only told him about her... condition, once she knew for sure it wouldn't scare him away. That was a shock, to say the least. She's starting to get used to them. He was currently sitting on the fountain, as usual.

Then Ayano and Osana, his childhood friend, had walked up, Osana seemed slightly agitated, clearly something minor, but that had been overshadowed by the shock and confusion on her face. "Taro, will you tell Ayano to stop trying to ruin Christmas for me!?" He had no idea what was going on, but they're arguing about... Christmas? How did this happen? Ayano and Osana had a rough start to their relationship, considering Osana apparently also had a crush on him, and Ayano thought she'd try to "steal" him from her (whatever that meant, did she think Osana would force him to cheat on his girlfriend!?). It took many promises for the former(?) yandere to try and stop being aggressive towards his friend. But, back to the Christmas thing.
"What do you mean ruining Christmas?" Taro was seriously wondering what was happening here, considering it was March, nowhere near Christmas. "It isn't my fault she can't handle the truth." Seriously, what was going on here? "Your 'truth' is that Santa is a stalker!" Wait what?

"She's in denial, I've provided clear evidence that would put most people in prison." Evidence, what evidence?! "Ok, apparently Santa's a stalker, and there's evidence, I somehow feel like I'm going to regret asking, but hit me." That was the truth, even now he realized he'd probably never look at Santa the same way again, despite not knowing what this evidence is yet. "He watches children in their sleep, breaks into their houses, even having the nerve to go down the CHIMNEY of all things, leaves "gifts" under fake trees and large socks, and as if that wasn't enough, he eats one of your cookies and drinks some of your milk! If I saw someone watch my kids sleep, I'd call the police, or end up dealing with it myself."

---

Santa Pov:​

Santa had been stalking sleeping kids like he usually does, when he suddenly felt like someone was onto him. He had no idea how anyone caught onto him, he had no idea who, as he can only see children when they are sleeping, but he would find out, and force him, her, or whatever gender they were to make toys in their factories as elves. Yes, his elves were enslaved people who caught onto his less moral secrets. It was quite the taxing magic. He was glad nobody knew just how deep it went. Christmas would be over in an instant!​

 

[okurasha]

The first two paragraphs seem to be repeated but other than that oddity it was funny and not a take I had seen before