Chapter One- An unexpected if enthusiastic walk
A sudden sound followed by gust of wind was...
A sudden sound followed by gust of wind was...
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User | Total |
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Elferio | 5 |
Will do thanks.Looking forward to seeing what becomes of this story, only thing I would suggest is to thread mark or index story points so reader can find them better, other than that have a good holiday.
I feel a rumbling and I see the souls flying into the shield and the pool consuming them as per our bargain. The rumbling continues to intensify until the pool of mana suddenly expands roughly to twice its size and a new star forms in my Inner Cosmo
Whenever he talks about his Inner Cosmos I get some Saint Seiya vibes from it , thanks for the chapter I eagerly Look forward to reading moreI wonder if I can absorb the shards into my inner cosmos like the other shards
Whenever he talks about his Inner Cosmos I get some Saint Seiya vibes from it , thanks for the chapter I eagerly Look forward to reading more
Or small stuff like misplaced periods or too many ellipsis. Like in the first chappy,Huh? Who the hell are you?" said Soma. "It's OK, Soma. His name is Genya Arikado…" responded Mina trying to calm her friend.
Those would be better off dashes( - ), if I'm reading that right as him stuttering."N..No… he did not" I try my level best to suppress the rising panic
Tis great fun, verily! I've been fiending for another planeswalker fic. Ontop of that I'm a big fan of conceptual bullshit and creating. Love the stuff, good show.
I don't have much to gripe about besides grammar, like when you have more than one person talking in a single paragraph like this,
Or small stuff like misplaced periods or too many ellipsis. Like in the first chappy,
Those would be better off dashes( - ), if I'm reading that right as him stuttering.
[N-No he didn't]
I asked since I saw the Multicossover tag, usually if there is more than 3 crossovers it is safer to assume the readers don't know anything since note everyone will know every crossover (though usually the first world, or main world depending on it's done, is assumed to be known).As any fanfiction it always help, I also recommend a wiki dive or the many youtube videos that can get you a good background.
I chose Aria of sorrow because it get rigth into the action and both mcs (Ferio and Soma) has relative similar starts. Both are basically civilians that got magical powers but Soma is better suited to Castlevania and he have home field advantage.
For Elferio it provides a rich resource of patterns (monsters and loot), concept shards and a place to test spells without worries, as well as a crucible to get stronger.
Housing really is cheap around there, you would not believe the price of the smallest garden shed back home!"I told you I found a vending machine that sold the at 300 yen, I thought they were basic potions since they were so cheap"
"Y-you could buy an luxury apartment in downtown tokyo with the production cost alone"
Housing really is cheap around there, you would not believe the price of the smallest garden shed back home!
Fun fic, thanks for sharing it!