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Is he going to get his first Robin already?The entertainment was also a significant portion, with traveling theater, circus, and musical groups from around the world entertaining throughout the evening and night.
It was a few months into being into Batman and he just had his first night in chapter 1.
Didn't he stop once he talked his fathers/mothers killer?Well hey, the actual Batman started out using guns.
I know nobody likes to remember that fact, but he did...
i think they mean making the System Notifications Bold will distuinguish it from the other text.Not sure I understand what you mean. Are you talking about the things like Observe and whatnot?
1.5 words of random ass building and descriptions of Wayne manor/cottage area…chapter 1/2 were great, nothing happens with chapter 3/4 tho both those chapters could've been reduced to 600 words, I like the more action style writing that the first two chapters had rather than the world building and dialogue these last two have had, you don't need to go that deep into world building, most people reading this know Gotham city and the Wayne manor / dc setting quite well
Stop writing a Bruce Wayne fanfic and be Batman! It's the story name ffs
I guess we prefer the opposite, I'd rather have a shorter world building and more beating up thugs and grinding stats, I know the setting very well and can conjure up in my mind a picture of what Gotham and the Wayne manor would look like luxurious stuff n all without the author writing 2k words about itI disagree, particularly with "most people reading this know Gotham city and the Wayne manor / dc setting quite well". Honestly, it's the constantly rehashed fight scenes with the same few villains that every author and their mother write about. The fights you listed in chapter1/2? I've seen those thousands of times across a thousand fics. The worldbuilding, particularly in this chapter, is stuff that I actually haven't seen before - particularly the stuff with Miranda Anderson. I do agree that some of the batcave grinding could be cut out though.
In the end, I would prefer more scenes like this visit to the shelter than beating up random thugs for fighting points, WAYYYY more interesting.
I'm extremely sad Ms. Anderson said no. She's now my favorite character in this story."I want a date to a charity gala that's coming up. It's raising money for a number of things, your organization included, disguised as my big debut into Gotham high society now that I'm of age. I had some of the usual type girls in queue but they all fell through, so now I need a replacement, and I can't think of a better date than you. It'd give you the chance to sneer at rich people and have them give you money for the privilege," I explained.
"No."
1.5 words of random ass building and descriptions of Wayne manor/cottage area…chapter 1/2 were great, nothing happens with chapter 3/4 tho both those chapters could've been reduced to 600 words, I like the more action style writing that the first two chapters had rather than the world building and dialogue these last two have had, you don't need to go that deep into world building, most people reading this know Gotham city and the Wayne manor / dc setting quite well
Stop writing a Bruce Wayne fanfic and be Batman! It's the story name ffs
I've gotten a number of negative comments on this chapter across the boards. And you know what? I actually agree. This needed an editor with a red pen and a grudge.
Now, the Bruce stuff, as opposed to the Batman stuff, is important. I'm not going to cut it all out. But I'm a very technical minded person, and I think a lot about details when I'm working on a fic. I mean, you all saw the technobabble thing. Well, unfortunately, a lack of a really mean beta, my own wandering mind, and just general setup for this fairly young fic means I babbled when I should have cut it short.
The patreon votes on what to focus on actually got fairly evenly split between this and Ice Pie, so I'm going to continue swapping back and forth. But, given this chapter is sort of subpar, and the next one, which is already available to patrons, sort of continues the bruce manning, I'm going to stop and redo this. The next next chapter, the one I'm working on, does take place at the end of the day when he goes out as Batman again. So for pacing and quality purposes, I'm going to do some serious editing, get more action going on, and combine this chapter four with the existing chapter five.
Give me a few days to get everything straight, and look for the rewrite. I'll leave this version up for now.
Thanks for everyone who's supporting me on patreon and ko-fi! You deserve better and I will deliver better.
I like it as-is, including the next (Patreon) chapter. Maybe the cottage-building could have been trimmed down a bit, but showing him working to improve the city in non-Villain-punching ways is fine.I've gotten a number of negative comments on this chapter across the boards. And you know what? I actually agree. This needed an editor with a red pen and a grudge.