Thou The Trialed Traveler

[Moronis]

THOU THE TRIALED TRAVELER*
AKA THE JOURNEY OF A DIPSHIT ADVENTURER​

Well. This sucks. You just got kicked out of your hometown because of some lame ass prophecy. Really, it's quite unfair their reasoning why. Okay, okay, you should probably start back over at the beginning beginning to reaffirm how, why, and when you got HERE, on the outskirts of your dinky little town, standing in the pouring rain under an umbrella your ex-neighbor Justine lent you out of pity and also because it's a town tradition to throw things at exiles. Friggin' backwater towns, you swear.

You were just some chump working on a sky-farm, which is a farm. In the sky. A floating island that is also a farm. You grew this weird coral-fungus amalgam thing that's apparently a thing in alchemy you guess? You don't know, you just know it made you enough money to scrape by each month and save a bit extra in a sock you hid under a brick by the door. Anyhoo, yeah, some regular jerk with a sky-farm and one day the oh-so-illustrious town council decided to climb the ladder up to your house, drag you out of bed, and shove a bunch of gear at you, babbling about some prophecy about a chosen one and how you fit the description.
Right as they were about to hand you all the gear, including your Chosen One License which is apparently a thing, that's a thing that exists that your council has to give to the Chosen One on their discovery, the ACTUAL Chosen One threw open the doors, the council took all the stuff, shoved it on them, and then kicked you out for being a fake Chosen One because according to the prophecy that's a thing that they HAVE to do or the town'll be annihilated by the dragon in the volcano nearby who makes it rain the diamonds that are the only reason anyone ever visits this stupid backwater apart from the very occasional jerk adventurer or asslicker who happens to be THE CHOSEN ONE SERIOUSLY WHAT THE HELL!

So. Yeah. You're on the edge of your former hometown, from which you have just been exiled. You stare at the stuff that was thrown at you that you were able to reclaim. You've got some decent survival gear at least. A metal pot to cook things in, a metal flask to keep water in, a bronze knife for managing to hopefully not die with, some dried foodstuffs, and even some money. No one likes it when someone gets exiled cause of prophecy and they did do their best when they threw all this crap at you. It just still sucks being exiled.
...Right! Enough screwing around! You can't stand around here in the pouring, thank-gods-it's-normal-water-and-not-molten-diamond-rain rain all day. You'll catch something doing that and you're not a professional doctor who can just punch an apple and make it go away. Time to make goals for yourself! Goals that AREN'T exacting horrible murdervengeance on your hometown cause you read that fucking prophecy that shafted you back to front and you know that the idiot who threatens it is getting thrown into a literal dimension where all is pain by the Chosen One.

You could try to start your own town. That's always on the table, right? They threw you out on your ear, see how they like it when you do the same damn thing when they visit. Or you could become one of those famed and storied adventurer types, the kinda jackass who DOES become the Chosen One EVEN IF SOME COMPELTELY INNOCENT PERSON GETS BANISHED CAUSE OF IT SERIOUSLY GODS DAMMIT REALLY?! You'd have to do something BIG to become that worthy an adventurer though. Like matching an actual prophecy for starters. Or hijacking a kingdom. Something like stealing from the Grand Tyrant Empress herself, which is the stupidest idea you've had so far. Seriously, stealing from a dragon older than any recorded history in any civilization who is larger than most nations is not a good idea even if you could find her legendary hoard. But it would get you on the map. Still, there's other stuff you could do. Become a legendary pirate. Become the villain. All sorts of stuff really.
So enough screwing around in the rain which judging by the smoke over the volcano is about to become molten diamonds okay maybe think about this away from town let's get moving. Who the heck are you anyhoo?

PLEASE INPUT THE FOLLOWING THINGS FOR THOU ENTRY INTO BEING AN ADVENTURER

Name: Everyone needs one. Yes, this includes you. Unchosen One or no, you gotta have something for people to call you. No one wants to keep saying Our Great Imperious Leader Unchosen One. That's a mouthful and greatly inconsiderate of you. You prick.

Gender: Dude, Lady, Unassociated in either respect, Something else entirely. You are who you are and a world with dragons the size of entire nations, air ship pirates, and crazy people living in all of the mountains in all of the world who have shark teeth and seem to be slightly telepathic kinda don't care either way because your pronouns aren't even a blip on the weird-shit-I-saw-this-week radar.

Class: Well apart from Regular Jackass, which doesn't really count for becoming a notable figure apart from "THOU ORIGINGS WERE BUT UMBL" footnotes and junk. Basically, how you get your murder on when confronted with innocent wildlife trying to live in their caves, how you piss off the government because seriously are you at all aware of the collateral damage you are causing to this city, and your primary means of making yourself some money.

Spoiler: CLASSES

So, you've got a bunch of choices open to you Class wise! You're only your regular Rank Naught dumbass self right now but the second you select a class you become a Rank F of that class, barring any other classes you've got Ranks in. So here's the classes and how they do the messed up nonsense to the laws of reality they do.

Warrior:
You big, you strong, you not have great grasp of grammar. Okay, that's really unfair. Warriors benefit just as much from being brainy same as any other class. Just cause you murder everything with an axe bigger than you is no excuse to go and be all up and neglecting your arithmetics my friend. As a Warrior, you're large (in a physical strength sense), in charge (in a last man standing sense), and you can do some generally impressive things. Like punching out dragons in one hit. Seriously. Just, uh, don't go doing that at Rank F you're gonna get... Well, there's not a word more powerful than "obliterurderized" that comes to mind right now and considering that's a word invented specifically to describe how dead you are in an effort to one shot a dragon at Rank F that should tell you something.

Sorcerer:
Smart, sexy, and definitely not speedy. You are the Sorceror! You call upon the spells you know and can use them to your heart's content by calling upon natural reserves of mana in the environment instead of your own personal reserve like those normal chump mages do. Bad news is that you kinda skimped on schoolwork back at magic school, in this case magic school being cowering under a rock that is miraculously resistant to molten diamond, so you get less magic stuff over all than they do. But on the plus side, people like you more so HEY!

Rogue:
We in the business prefer this to being called reprehensible, immoral, greedy, selfish bastards, thank you. You're quick, you're nimble, and if a wizard or a warrior so much as looks at you funny and it lands you're eight kinds of dead. Then again, hard to hit a guy who's doing a tap dance on their crummy hats now ain't it?

Dragoon:
You lived on a sky farm. If there's one thing you know, it's how to jump good and take a fall. Why not capitalize on this natural inclination by becoming the person in all the land with the maddest of ups and the illest of air?

Cleric:
Worship the gods, get magic powers. Big downside here is the occasional holy quest. Nothing to put a damper in your step quite like your gods telling you to punch a demon in the face or no super powers for you this week.

Daemon Caller:
There are things in the shadows. They like talking in morse, bird calls, and words they learned living in the shadows. Most call them demons or daemons or what have you. They're basically a bunch of happy, curious, weird shapeless monsters without the ability to affect the physical world. Right now that is. Make a deal and they'll have the power to help you out! Just beware the slight consequences. Which are kinda non-existen, Daemon Callers cheat.

Spoiler: CLASS ABILITIES

At level one of these you only get so many powers! By which I mean the really piss weak piddly ones.
So pick ONE for your class!

Warrior:
Slab Bulkhead – Fridge Largemeat is your cousin, Butch Deadlift is your brother-in-law, and Big McLargeHuge is your personal hero. Be BEEFIER than ever before!

Well HIT IT! - Nothing quite defines Warriors like hitting things. It's what they do. It's really ALL they do. You hit ESPECIALLY well once a fight based on your WARRIOR RANK.

Sorcerer:
Sparkles! - Standard stock and trade effects magic used the world over by cheap kitschy theaters. Using it increases your ability to swindle people out of their money just like that magician did to your parents four years ago. Cheap bastard.

Flash! - You are a cruel, terrible monster and your deepest desire is to blind others, however temporarily. A free to use spell with a low chance of working. If it DOES work, blinds the target. If it doesn't, severely annoys them.

Rogue:
Light Of Feet – You were conceived on a moonless, cloudy night as thousands of ravens roosted in the eaves of the barn... Okay that's a dirty lie and you know it, you were conceived because your parents banged in a farm house. Doesn't change that you're harder to detect when sneaking, if ever so slightly!

IN THE KIDNEYS! - SHANK HIM! SHANK HIM SHANK HIM SHANK HIM SHANK HIM SHANK HIM SHANK HIM! A special attack where you stab someone in the kidneys. Seriously, this is CRUEL. Inflicts bleed on the poor bastard you do this to sometimes.

Dragoon:
Leap – You jump good. Not good enough to rocket to the ground with meteoric speed but good enough that you can grab stuff on the top shelf easily enough. Unless otherwise noted, you can overcome any otherwise impassable obstacle. Please do not use this in dungeons you're not opening portals just to get height yet.

Sturdy Spear – Your spear is super duper sturdy. That's it. That's all there is to it. You deal slightly extra normal damage and an even further damage bonus when using Dragoon active abilities. You're kinda dull ain't ya.

Cleric:
Worship The Dreaded Pantheon – Okay, these guys have a BAD reputation but they're not evil. This means you worship (and get your SICKASS POWERS from) Reis The God Of Rage And Ruin, Cee The God Of Cinders And Curiosity, and Tey The Goddess Of Tears And Time. No powers yet but hey! You'll get them at Rank D.

Worship The Illustrious Pantheon – They SOUND like super good guys don't they! Well... Kinda? They're not COMPLETELY EVIL JERKS so as far as gods go that's pretty good y'know. Annnnnyway they aren't evil. Good thing too, they're the most worshipped pantheon. Lee The God Of Light And Leadership, Hai The Goddess Of Healing And Hearth, Doa The God Of Death And Dreams. Still no powers. You get the actual bonuses at Rank D.

Worship The Tormented Pantheon – Not even gonna lie to yourself, this is a definite no no morally speaking for basically everyone. A bunch of twitching, screaming horrors bound forever in torture devices, their cries of agony forever echoing across the universe so all know for what crimes they are being punished are kinda not the sort of things people like to see other people worshipping. On the flipside, you could become an unstoppable death engine and if you went villain it's not like people are gonna notice something like "worships the unkillable nightmares that are forever being tortured" on your resume after all the orphanage burnings yeah?

Daemon Caller:
Shadow Speaker – You speak for the shadows! Or, more specifically, you talk to the shadows and they talk back. You're harder to ambush or otherwise sneak up on. Kinda. Not everything the shadows say makes any real sense afterall, they're kinda like chirping birds in that respect. Mostly just swears they learned. Probably from you, you terrible influence.

Shadow Stalker – The shadows love to live in your wake! You've done so much to make sure they have so many lovely, lovely shadows to LIVE in after all! You're never without some form of companionship and the Shadows love you. Shadows will sometimes attack your enemies for no price at all.

Goal: What is your major end goal here? Like, you can't just wander off into the wilderness as an exile without some kinda basic plan of action here man. That's just STUPID is what that is. So out of the things below, what's your ultimate end goal here bearing in mind the rainbow of options you'll have available to try tackling it.

Spoiler: Your End Goal

[] Form Your Own Town!: Easier said than done cause, well, that requires being a charismatic enough jerk that people are willing to die in the harsh, unforgiving horrors of this natural world long enough to build one for you. But, hey! Maybe you can pull it off. Maybe you won't get scorched by the MOLTEN DIAMOND POURING OUT OF THE SKY RIGHT NOW OKAY GOTTA MOVE NOW THIS TREE IS BURNING DOWN AND IS OFFICIALLY NOT GOOD COVER ANYMORE.

[] A Band Of Merry Fellows Are We: What better way to stick it to governments that follow prophecies uber-strictly than by BECOMING A MOTHERFUCKING SKY PIRATE! YEAAAAAAAAH! Like, ten thousand ways lets be fair here. I mean, that requires a crew, a ship, breaking multiple international laws, all on TOP of normal adventurer drudgery. It's definitely long term but then so are ALL of these goals. Plus if you're wanting to be a band of merry fellows you'll probably start small. Less The Dread Pirates Of The Skies And Seas, more Those Jerks Who Stole Our Tax Money Again.

[] You Did WHAT?!: Steal from the Grand Empress Tyrant, Torment, The Beast Older Than Time, Singer Of The Old Song. Destroyer Of Worlds. Ender Of All! The Great And Ceaseless Dragon! HELL ON WINGS you get the idea now yeah? Seriously, this is the worst idea you've had. This is the stupidest. Please be good to yourself do not go steal from a dragon older than all of known history.

[] Snuff Out The Light!: Hey, you just got kicked out of town and decided to become an adventurer! You ever consider becoming an evil rotten son of a bitch instead? C'mon! Be a villain! What's the worst that could happen? Y'know apart from being thrown into a dimension made entirely of eternally pissed off, immortal bees. Which could happen. Number six cause of death for all would be evil warlords.

[] Prophecies Are For The WEAK!: Become a Chosen One anyway! Maybe not for THIS town cause fuck these guys but go fulfill some other big time hotshot prophecy. You don't know where to FIND one but hey! That's part of being a straight up normal ass adventurer is looking for this crap yeah?

[] Usurp A Throne: Okay, this one's also a bad idea because most nations frown on killing their ruling class but hey, you want it go for it friend! Sky's the limit! Or, more accurately, how high they drag your soon to be corpse up into the sky before the fatal drop is the limit.

[] SCIENCE!!!!: You grew alchemical components on a chunk of rock floating in the sky, you're pretty sure that automatically qualifies you to try for solving the mystery of the philosopher's stone. Even if you don't find the Philosopher's Stone, which lets be real you're not everyone knows that thing is actually a metaphor for the eternal journey for understanding the rules of the world around us, you'll still likely make some AMAZING discoveries and they'll HAVE to put you in the history books! The really boring ones only nerds and highschool students in class read but hey, it's better than being remembered as "Jackass What Owned A Skyfarm At One Point" your entire life.

[] The Humble Life: Maybe you're just a boring jerk! Maybe all you want in life is the nice, humble farming life out in the middle of nowhere. Okay, that's gonna take a LOT of seed money to buy the land, get the place built, get a damn good humble wedding, have enough money in reserve to take care of kids, hire other adventurers to pacify the area, just so much stuff. In some weird respects it's harder than the damn town is.

And, last but not least-
Which Direction Are You Going: There's three major paths leading out of town. One goes through the horrible, spider infested deathwoods called, conveniently enough, Arachnos Lair. Another cuts through a tunnel in the volcano itself which considering how massive and on fire it is this is not exactly a more comforting prospect than spidery death filled hell zone over there. Then again you could just... Y'know... Follow this road leading out of town like a reasonable human being would and NOT be stupid. Then again who knows what could happen on that road. Cause the other two are at least guaranteed to suck this one's just plain uncertain let's be fair here.

[] Spider Infested Nightmare Zone

[] Hell Is Real And It's A Fucking Volcano

[] The Road Of Terribly Uncertain Demise Let's Be Real Here You Live In A World Rife With Terror

Either way, you ain't starting off with too much. Some Basic Survival Supplies X1, five days worth of Rations (so Rations X 5 total), a Bronze Knife X1, and the 200GP you had stashed in your brick sock. So what's it gonna be? And hurry up, you're pretty sure the calm in the MOLTEN DIAMOND RAIN STORM OUTSIDE ain't gonna last too terribly long and it's probably best you get away from here as soon as is possible for you so you don't burn to death and die.

Spoiler: Author Babble

Heyo and welcome to Thou The Trialed Traveler AKA The Journeys Of You, A Dipshit Adventurer AKA How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Just Slapdash An Entire World Together Without Thinking! The heck's this about? A single-character adventure/writing practice! No seriously this is meant mostly for me to practice my writing skills more than anything else. Which ALSO means we're going with minimal mechanics. Like, I got a very dirt basic loot kinda thing rigged up for enemies and I'll be keeping track of Class progress and there's food but that's like three mechanics. Hell, even combat's going to MAYBE have a dice roll and even then that'll probably just be if I can't decide how I want to resolve it myself and go for leaving it all to chance. At any rate, I'd be doing it here anyhoo so you could all see it and no one can accuse me of anything. So go ahead! Make your choices, let's roll, let's see what goes on, what happens, and what my horrible, horrible whims decide to inflict upon our good buddy Thou The Nameless Adventurer here!
So let's get moving shall we?

 

[ShadowAngelBeta]

[X] Male
[X] Dragoon
[X] The Road Of Terribly Uncertain Demise Let's Be Real Here You Live In A World Rife With Terror

Not sure if I want SCIENCE!! or just settle down and set up a new farm... well its not like they're incompatible I guess, maybe. SCIENCE!! is, well, itself, but the rest strike me as being too troublesome to deal with. Meanwhile the guy who's getting dragged into crap to make enough money for a farm tickles my funny bone.

I'm crap at names. And the character already feels male in this.

Dragoon just cuz. Also, as Samurai Jack put it, I Jump good. And Dragoons can get some pretty ridiculous shit going on depending on the source.

And the road because its either the safest or worst... or bandits.

 

[Jiven]

[X] Female
[X] Dragoon
[X] Hell Is Real And It's A Fucking Volcano

Please please please, Dragoon quest!

 

[Dimensionist]

[X] Edge Nife (because why not?)
[X] Male
[X] Daemon Caller
[X] Form Your Own Town!
[X] Spider Infested Nightmare Zone (because Shadow Talker means less chances of spider ambushes)

So, basically, I want to play what's basically a demon summoner who has an unfortunately emo name ... except he's actually a pretty normal, somewhat swell guy whose only friends are daemons (because kids are cruel, especially when you have an unfortunate name and can command the forces of hell to do your bidding), and who wants to make new friends, because come on - surely someone would want to be friends with an abomination against god and nature with a silly name, right? Right?

 

[ShadowAngelBeta]

[] Female
[] Dragoon
[] Hell Is Real And It's A Fucking Volcano

Please please please, Dragoon quest!

Click to shrink...

Like the enthusiasm, just think about where you're sending her. I Jump Good, does not work that well underground... least till you get the "I Jump into portal to infinite jumping space" upgrade.

 

[Moronis]

A'right, cool, gonna start drafting up the update. But first! Since we got a split on the direction and all, gonna ROLL FOR IT! LET'S SEE WHAT WE GET.

TO DETERMINE WHICH-A-WAYS WE ROAM!:
[dice]3470[/dice]

THE SEEMINGLY-NORMAL ASS ROAD IT IS!

 

[Moronis]

Yeah! YEAH! YEAAAAAAAH! You know just WHO you are and WHAT you're gonna do! You're gonna make your own town. Screw those jerks! Who the HELL needs them anyway? Definitely not you! Yes YOU! EDGE NIFE, DUDENHEIMER AND RANK F DRAGOoooooooookay it is really hard to get hype about being a Rank F anything. Still, it's a start. A weakass, piddly as fuck start but a start all the same. You opt to grab Leap as your starter ability. Hell, Dragoons are ALL ABOUT sick air and all so it only makes sense to take the thing that defines them.

You start to set forth when you realize you still haven't really decided on a direction TO go forth in. It's something that's still escaping your grasp. You quickly look around to make absolutely sure no one can hear you. It'd be embarassing as SHIT if anyone heard you say this out loud. You take a deep breath and jab a finger at the road out of town and begin to chant.

"Eeenie, meenie, minie, mo, fuck-it-I'mma-go-down-this-road." you chant out in exasperation as you finally just say to hell with it and start walking down the road. Standing out in the middle of molten diamond rain is for chumps. That's your choice. That's your decision about life and it is one you are really happy you made as you hear a tree, burning, collapse to the ground behind you. Yep. Looks like you ain't going back that-a-ways then. Ah well. Screw that place. Any place that's got meteorological activity that can be described as "molten" is NOT a place you wanna be. Unless we're talking molten ice or something wait now you're confusing yourself dammit you KNEW the road was a bad idea!

And thus you start your travels.​

You spend a while just gazing at the road, at the trees all along the edges, the bushes. Basically just looking at everything you can. This is the furthest you've ever been from town. You take a deep, appreciative breath of the fresh not-manure-scented air. Maybe this really WASN'T such a bad idea after all! Of course, ten minutes walking later, you get jumped by a bandit armed with a bronze knife and a very, very emaciated form. "GIMME YER STUFF!" He shouts at you before waving the knife around making weird noises. Sighing, you pull your own bronze knife. Okay, let's get this over with.

YOU ARE NOW FIGHTING A BANDIT.
[] BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF HIM
[] MADDEN THY AIR
[] MADDEN THY AIR IN AN ESCAPEWARDS DIRECTION
[] WRITE IN

DISCOVERED A NEW FOE TYPE:

Bandit

Robbery – Can steal things from you. Will only steal gold.
Footloose! - They were quite clearly taught by an ancient master of not getting the shit murdered out of them by an adventurer, this is an undeniable fact. That it is the form of dancing is a stranger story altogether but you ain't gonna have as much luck hitting him so howsabout focusing here huh?
And He Has A KNIFE Superpower – Oh gods they've got a KNIFE!
On defeat, roll 1D10. If 1-5, get Leather Patch. 4-6, get Broken Knife. Get 2D5 gold either way.

 

[ShadowAngelBeta]

[X] MADDEN THY AIR

Huzzah. Let's jump three whole feet straight up and crash down on him like the fist of an angry flea! ... Something seems off about that statement, but for the life of me I have no idea what it is.

Also, really should have remember to vote for SCIENCE or get a farm. *Le Sigh*

 

[Dimensionist]

[X] MADDEN THY AIR
-[X] LET THY FOE SERVE AS THY PERCH

aka 'jump into the air and smash the bandit in the face with your feet' plan.

If it's not allowed, I'm cool with MADDEN THY AIR

 

[Moronis]

A'RIGHT TIME TO ROLL THEM DROP DICE CAUSE
LIKE, THIS GUY DID NOT KNOW YOU WERE AN ADVENTURER CAUSE LIKE
WHO THE FUCK IS GONNA EXPECT SOMEONE TO JUST START BOUNDING OFF TREES LIKE A GOD DAMN MONKEY BEFORE DIVEKICKING THEM TO THE DIRT

[dice]3505[/dice]
[dice]3506[/dice]

 

[Moronis]

As you square off with the would be villain, a thought occurs. You're a fucking adventurer. Where as THIS guy? This guy's a bargain bin bandit. Criminey, his boots don't even fit! You ain't got time to waste on this, you got locations to scout, resources to obtain, builders to contract, and people to browbeat into moving into a hell hole situated near some ancient unknowable evil you're gonna send adventurers to get murdered against because you're mayor of a town of course you're gonna fuckin' do that, that's what you DO as one of those jerks. So with that thought in mind, you sheathe your knife, much to the confusion of the bandit in front of you.

At which point you leap five feet straight up into the air, grab a tree branch, swing up onto it, and jump even further up. You repeat this process several times as the guy watches you in amazement below till, eventually, you lose sight of him and clamber over the treetops. As you gaze out upon the world in the brief moment of weightlessness before gravity remembers you're not that high a ranked dragoon, you notice several patches of smoke off in the distance. Seems there's several big bandit camps or something off that-a-ways. Might be worth checking out. And then gravity, harsh mistress that it is, stops your cartoon shenanigans and drags you back to the ground.

Branches smash and snap below your feet, locked together in a diving kick aimed squarely at the bandit's shoulders. He gazes up at you and as you plummet towards him you see the look on his face. It goes from amazed confusion, to mere confusion, to terror as it finally dawns on him that he didn't just mug some random sky farmer on his way to make it big in the city but that, in fact, he has just robbed an adventurer. There's a sickening noise that you can only describe as wet branches smacking into meat as you drive him to the ground, roll, and leap back to your feet in one go. As he groans in agony and gets up, he lets out a muffled scream and reaches towards his shoulder. At which point you both realize what's happened here.

There's a stick as thick as your thumb jutting out of his shoulder. As in, impaled through his right shoulder, from the back out the front. You both stare at it and then at each other for a few moments, continually switching from one to the other. At which point he starts screaming raw bloody murder after a few seconds of which you join in, freely and unabashedly.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He protests at you, gesturing from you to his injured shoulder. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH! AAA! AAAAAAA! AAA!" He gestures even more frantically to help get his point across that there has been a serious breach of mugger muggee conduct at this juncture. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He continues to scream at you, likely cause of the stick in his shoulder.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" You manage back at him in debate. The bandit gets to his feet fully at this point and the two of you continue to have an argument entirely in terrified pained screams for a solid thirty minutes before he eventually just rips the stick out of his shoulder. He waves it in your face for a moment, screaming the whole while, before eventually tossing it to the ground and limping away. As you stand on the road in dazed, terrified silence, secretly wondering if you convinced the man of your point in the debate you just had, it finally dawns on you the sheer ridiculousness of what you just went through. Shaking your head, you look around to see if you can't find anything the bandit might've dropped when you, y'know, plummeted onto him.

Gazing around, you eventually spot some coins that spilled out of his purse. Also, a chunk of leather. Probably got ripped off when you, y'know, impaled a dude on a fucking stick by kicking him from thirty feet up. You god damn monster you. All told, it's 6GP and 1X Leather Patch. Fantastic. Hopefully you can find a use for this at some point.
You're about to go wandering again when something smashes into your head. Or, rather, flutters harmlessly and blinds you for a bit before you get it off. You gaze at the intruding flutter for a moment before your higher brain functions kick back in and gently remind you that you're looking at a map. A bandit's map. You can tell it's a bandit's map by all the terrible, terrible spelling mistakes. Okay, that, and it smells distinctly of terrible rotten food and shit cooking. Bandits have a VERY distinct smell. Reading it over you can see several spots of interest to you nearby. Or you can just keep on a wandering and see what Fate shits on you with next.

[] BANDIT CACHE TO THE LEFT: According to the map you've got a small bandit camp to the left you can raid the hell out of. I mean, why not? It'll be cash and supplies at least. If, y'know, you don't piss off too many dudes.

[] Bandit Cache 2: To The Right Now Yall: There's also the OTHER ONE off to the right. But... Ehhhh, something about that direction seems... Icky. Like, old dead gods icky.

[] The Big Red X That Says "DON'T GO HERE WE GOT SLAUGHTERED": ...Okay, you HOPE that means it's a battleground you can loot as opposed to, y'know, a bunch of bandits stumbling on a fucking dragon or something. That'd be... Unpleasant at this juncture.

[] Go-A-Wandering: Let's leave it all to chance shall we? Horrible, evil, fickle, vile chance.