Total Drama Where Is My Action?

[Leekz01]

"Oh, umm? It's on?" I stared at the camera, swallowing. "Right! Ok!"

The camera stared back as if it were some eldritch being. I could feel countless eyes looking through its lens and all I could do was freeze. Was… was this really a good idea?

I forgot what I was going to say. Why was I doing this again? Oh, right, my stupid sister signed me up before I even knew what was going on! Sure, it wasn't as bad as I thought, but that was still a dick move! Stopping things now would be an even bigger pain in the ass, so I just rolled with it.

"I'm just a normal guy," I said with a shrug, finally finding my voice. "I like video games, TV shows, movies, and good stories."

What the hell did I need to say to get the showrunner's attention? I really should have thought up something better!

My "friend" stared at me as if I were an idiot. I wanted nothing more than to run up and put him in front of the camera. How would he like it?!

Damn it, Hans. Did he really think this was funny? He wouldn't be laughing when I told him I put in an application for him too!

…

No, it was fine. For someone like me, getting a single friend was already hard enough.

"I'm not very good with nature, but I know a bit of Taekwondo," I said, throwing a hasty and flimsy punch at the air. "Doubt I'll survive very long on some island, but hey, that's me."

I smiled nervously at the camera, hoping it was over. When Hans gave me the thumbs-up, I deflated like a balloon.

"I'm going to shove that camera up your ass!" I said, cheeks as red as tomatoes. "It was way harder than it should have been with you trying to trip me up!"

His eyes went wide.

"I-It wasn't that bad," he mouthed with a snicker. "I'm just doing the best I can to get you a shot at this!"

Whatever. It was done now. I never liked cameras.

Was there any chance that I might be actually picked? Maybe I could give it another shot?

…

He was laughing. Why was he laughing?

Oh.

The recording light was still on the camera.

I wanted to die.

No.

I wanted to kill him!

Mother-

————————

Life was like a box of chocolate. One never knew what they'd get until they opened it. At least that's what a certain movie character once said.

I had a bunch of questions about my life.

Why me? Why did I get picked when there were probably hundreds of others that applied? I definitely didn't think I'd be entertaining or even a good contender to win. Hans had been adamant that my video would at least draw some attention, but it was still like winning the lottery.

…

How was that guy doing now? He said he had a surprise for me for getting a spot on the show, but I'd left before he could give it to me.

Ah, well. I'd have to find out once I got back.

Still, why me? I just couldn't stop asking myself that question.

There wasn't anything special about me, well, aside from my "good looks." Mom always mentioned that, but everyone's mom says that kind of stuff. Besides, my annoying little sister always called me ugly.

"I guess I'm feeling better about it now that it's been a week," I said, sighing and watching as the waves rolled by. "Doubt I'd have ever gotten a chance to ride such a fancy ship otherwise, right?"

I smiled and nervously turned to the ship's captain. There were very few people here, which was why I didn't want to be alone.

The old, stone-faced man didn't so much as twitch. He kept his eyes forward and ignored me.

"Umm… have you been to the island before? What's it like? What's the host like?"

I had a few questions, and against my better judgment, I asked away.

Again, he didn't say a word.

Ok. Hint taken.

I sighed and turned my attention toward the island. It was a little dot in the distance, but it was quickly getting closer and closer.

I think the worst part about all this was the cameras. Almost every moment of my time there would be live! If they hadn't told me how much money I'd get for winning, I'd have probably just bit the bullet and quit… maybe.

Hundreds of forms or not, I didn't like being the center of attention!

"Ugh... Whatever."

I doubted I'd win this anyway, but I'd certainly be trying! A hundred thousand was a lot! Mom would be happy whether I won or lost and I'd have a few moments of fame. Things would eventually go back to normal.

"Yeah. How bad can it be, right?"

I smiled. This was a TV Show. If anything serious happened, everyone would probably get sued and then sent to jail.

Those thoughts comforted me for a bit.

Everything was going to be fine.

———————

As the island slowly drew closer, I got to my feet and headed to the window. Where was the five-star hotel? I was sure they'd mentioned something like that in our letter. I couldn't see it from here, so maybe it was on the other side? But then why were we docking here and not there?

I knew It was a bit sketchy. The island wasn't even that big!

"Be careful." I nearly jumped at the gruff, measured voice.

Who was-

"W-Why?" I asked, gulping and staring at the captain. This was the first thing he'd said to me, aside from asking for my name when I came on board…

"That place… no, that man..." He sucked in a breath and shook his head. "Forget I said anything."

…

"Come on, you can't just leave it at that," I said with a nervous laugh. "This is like something out of a horror movie, you know?"

He was freaking me out a bit, to be honest.

The captain sighed and then turned to me again. He stayed quiet and stared deep into my eyes.

That wasn't ominous at all.

"Do you know Chris?"

Chirs? Oh, the host.

"Not really," I said with a shake of my head. "My sister really liked the shows he's run. I think there was one with some ice skating?"

I'd only watched a few episodes just to keep her happy.

He grumbled and nodded.

"Just… watch yourself. You remind me of my son, so please forget I said anything."

I wanted to ask more, but we were just about to dock.

…

I swallowed whatever fears and uncertainties I had. This was going to be my life for the next eight weeks.

As the boat slowed to a stop, I stared down at my reflection in the water.

I hoped I wouldn't make too much of a fool out of myself.

——————

I wasn't the first one here. That was the first thing I noticed. The second thing I noticed was that everyone else was… well, they were a mixed bag.

There was a really big guy, a couple of very pretty girls, and some… not so pretty girls. Everything from a scrawny guy with bad posture to a guy that looked just about ready to shove his foot up my ass.

"Lee! Good to see ya, buddy!" the one and only "Chris McLean" greeted me with a smile and hand. "Bet ya didn't think you'd be here, did ya?"

He knew my name. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. I guess it was his job, but still…

I shifted uncomfortably and then smiled. Talking wasn't that hard.

"You don't even know the half of it," I said with a nervous laugh. "But I'm happy that I made it."

"Ha! Let's hope you last longer than a day, right?" He said, slapping my back and urging me toward the others.

"Hey, umm… about the hotel-"

"He hey!" the big guy of the group said as he ran over and shook my hands. "Happy to have you! Shame about the whole hotel thing being a lie, huh? Don't worry, we can bunk together if things get hairy!"

"Ugh.."

"The only hairy thing is him."

"I think I'd rather die…"

The others weren't very nice, but that was expected. People could be real asses about this sort of stuff.

"Hey, nice to meet you," I said, shaking his hand with a smile. "I'm Lee Graham."

"Owen!" the big, chubby guy said.

I nodded and took my place in the group. Now that I was getting a better look at everyone, they really were pretty weird. There was a goth chick, a nerdy-looking girl, a big girl. Seriously, she looked like the sort that would let you know if you'd pissed her off.

…

I wasn't the only one looking around. A few of the other contestants were checking out their competition. One of them- a girl, had the eyes of someone out to win.

And then there was her.

She was twitching and smiling like a loon.

"It's very nice out today! Does anyone else think so? I bet we could whip up some nice shellfish ice cream! I learned to make some when I was six, you know?"

Yeah, she was something else.

"And here comes our last competitor!" Chris called out.

I took a deep breath. This was it. Once that final person landed, then we'd be starting this game show. Eight weeks. One hundred thousand dollars.

It was enough to give someone a panic attack.

As the last person stepped forward, I couldn't help but stare slack-jawed.

"Hans! Glad ya made it, buddy," Chris said, bumping his fist against the final contestant. "Ride ok for ya?"

My friend smiled and nodded. He reached into his pockets and pulled out a small notebook, quickly writing a greeting on it.

"Right! The whole mute thing!" Christ laughed and wrapped his arm around him. "That's tough, buddy! But, hey, it's not like you need a voice to win, right!"

Hans nodded, a nervous smile on his face as he turned to me and winked.

What the hell did this idiot do now?

"Anyways, come one and all! Let's snap a quick group photo and then head on in!"

Ugh… fine. I'd have to get answers out of him later.

"Everyone get ready!" Chris said as he hopped on the nearest boat and took out a camera.

After a couple of failed attempts to take a simple shot, he finally got the thing working.

"On the count of three, everyone says, Wawanakwa!"

One.

Two.

On the third count, the pier gave way. Everyone fell into the dirty, murky lake.

Hopefully, that wasn't an omen of things to come.

——————————————

Twenty-two people. Not counting myself, that meant I had to beat twenty-one of them if I wanted to win the money. I sat, quietly listening to Chris's explanation about marshmallows, voting someone out at the end of each day, and even the co-ed cabins.

"I'd like to request a bunk under her." Duncan, was definitely some kind of creeper. He'd said it with a sort of joking tone, but yeah… no wonder he'd apparently been in juvie. Joking about that sort of stuff was all sorts of messed up.

"Can I get the cabin with the best view? Cause I'm the prettiest?"

And then there was Lindsey. The blond supermodel-looking girl definitely was gorgeous, but she had to be full of it. No one ever said stuff like that!

Hans was quietly sitting a bit away, smiling and that notebook of his guarded like his life depended on it.

"And we'll be splitting you all into two teams!" Chris said. "Now, when I call your name, go stand over there."

Ah. I guess that meant there was a chance Hans and I wouldn't be on the same team.

"B-But I have to live with Sadie or I'll die!"

"And I'll break out in hives."

There was something off about those two girls. Katie and Sadie. They were like twins, but not actually twins. Also, one of them was clearly a bit more… plump than the other.

"Gwen," Chris announced, completely ignoring the two.

It was so rude I nearly laughed.

Wow. The guy was an ass.

"Sadie!"

"Katie!"

The two girls cried, clutching each other and tearing up.

"I-I'll be with you forever, even if we're apart!"

"Yeah! Our souls will always be right next to each other, so don't let go! They can't separate us if we hold on tight!"

I couldn't help but sigh. The two of them were being so damned dramatic. It wasn't like they were going to different countries or something! Sure, they'd be on different teams, but they could still talk, couldn't they?

I really didn't get it. Could people be that close?

"Beth!" Chris said, listing off another name."Justin!"

So it would be eleven against eleven, huh? I wasn't too sure how much of a team player I could be, but it wasn't like I'd have to lead everyone.

"Izzy, Harold, Courtney!"

"Left gang, best gang!" the crazy chick, Izzy said with a cheer. "Heck yeah!"

Ugh… I hoped I wasn't on her team.

"Victory is assured," the nerdy guy, Harold said as he took a deep, raspy breath. He murmured something and then laughed. "Don't worry, I read up on all sorts of tactics we can use…"

…

Wow.

"Cody, Tyler, Ezekiel!"

More names were called. I tried my best to remember them, but there were so many...

"Present, sir!" Ezekiel said, rushing along with the others. "Let's get along, eh?"

"Lee and Duncan, you two are last!"

I blinked and stared at the other person called out. He growled and locked eyes with me before walking past and joining the rest.

That guy had issues.

I sighed and followed him, meeting up with my "team."

Oh. I guess that meant Hans would be on the other team. I spun around and looked at him. He was staring back at me with a nervous smile. Maybe he hadn't been planning on this, but it was a bit too late to go back now.

"That means that the other team was-

"Bridgette, Eva, Geoff, Heather, Katie, Leshawna, Noah, Lindsay, Hans, Sadie, and Owen!" Chris spat out like a machine gun and then took a deep breath. "Boy, that was a mouthful!" he joked

"Sadie!"

"Katie!"

The "twins" cheered as they hugged one another.

"Thank you, Chris!!"

"You're the best!"

Chris smiled and then laughed. It was… weird. For a second, it felt like he was laughing at them, not with them.

"Oh, don't thank me yet!" he said with a wink as he turned to look at the cameras. "But, let's forget about that for now!"

He reached into the small pack he'd been carrying and pulled out a few… rugs?

"Here ya go!" he said, tossing the greenish one toward us. Harold was the first to react, surprisingly enough. He snatched it out of the air and unfurled it.

Oh. They weren't rugs, but flags.

"You lot will be the Screaming Gophers!" Chris said with a grin. "Catchy, right?"

Harold's mouth opened in shock.

"Awesome…" he said, practically drolling over the flag. "Gophers are cool. They're great builders, you know?"

…

What?

"And then team two is-" Chris, doing the smart thing, ignored him and tossed the other flag at Owen. "The Killer Bass!"

Huh.

"Nice!" the plump guy said with a laugh. "You know, Bass sorta rhymes with a-"

"Alright, campers!" Chris quickly cut him off. "From now on, you will be on camera in all public areas!"

Oh! Only the public ones? Well, maybe things wouldn't be so bad then.

"There's also a nice toilet I'll show ya later where you can get things off your chest!" he exclaimed. "Got a grudge? Go ahead and tell it to the viewers! Got a crush? I'm sure they'll love to hear about it! Got some dark secret? Yeah, that'll bring in a lot of views too!"

Seriously? What kind of idiot would want to do that?

"Hahaha," Owen laughed. He couldn't keep that grin off his face if he wanted. "Cool!"

Ok…

"Alright! Any questions?" Chris asked.

A hand went up. If I remember right, she was… Heather? The girl had this constant annoyed look on her face.

"Cool. Let's move on!"

"Ha!" Duncan chuckled. "He's an ass, but I can respect that."

This was the type of person I'd have to share a dorm with.

Heather steamed but didn't say a word as she stormed after Chris.

Ugh… It'd probably be fine If I just kept contact to a minimum.

"Let's get everyone to their cabins. Come on!"

Chris turned and started walking. As he did, I finally got a good look at the people filming us.

Oh, there were cameras set up in the area, but they also had a few people following us around. Hans was practically glued to one of them. The guy was looking at those cameras like they were sirloin steaks. He was gnashing his teeth and looking at his little notebook as if it had killed his dog.

Quickly as he could, he wrote down something on it and showed it to the guy. The cameraman reached out and covered Han's face with his palm, moving him out of the way to get a better shot.

Yeah, he deserved that. What the hell was he even planning?

I sighed and rubbed the back of my head, gently pulling the idiot along as I passed by him.

I gave him a look. It didn't matter why he was here. He was here now and that probably meant we could work together. The problem was all those cameras…

"Look, we're not on the same team, but maybe stop bothering them. They're just trying to do their job and that could bite ya in the ass."

Maybe we could find some time to talk later, but probably not now.

Knowing Hans, he might have applied just to have better odds. Come to think of it, he was always a bit of a weird one, not that I was exactly "normal" either.

Hans was a loner, but if push came to shove, he'd roll with most things.

He gave a silent laugh and rubbed the back of his head, nodding and then walking beside me as we followed Chris.

The guy was a good, if somewhat annoying friend. Still, he'd come all this way for a reason and I did want to learn what it was.

——————

"Right oh! We're here!" Chris exclaimed as he pressed his hands into his hips. "Don't you just love the smell of nature?"

"No," Duncan said. "And I think that's gas. Someone farted."

"W-What?! That wasn't me! It wasn't!" Owen called out just as he ripped another one. "Ok. Maybe it could have been me, hehe."

"Gross…" Heather said, clamping a hand over her nose. "Why did we get placed on the same team…"

"Yes, nature!" Chris continued. "Gophers get the cabin on the East side and Bass get the West!"

Right. And East was-

"Oi! I know this one!" Ezekiel called out. "Just need a needle, a rock, and some water!"

"He literally pointed to 'em, smart-ass," Duncan said as he rolled his eyes. "I can tell this team's going to have a lot of issues."

He started walking to our cabin.

"Oh! I know a better way to make a compass!" Izzy said as she picked up a flower. "I'll just need a bit of your hair!"

"What?" Ezekial asked, taking a step back. "Why would you know better? But… forget it."

He sighed and started walking after Duncan.

…

Maybe Duncan wasn't so wrong after all.

"Communal bathrooms are that away," Chris called out, pointing toward a small building just a bit of a walk from our cabins. "There are some outlets there if you need to charge anything!"

"Wait, but I'm not Catholic!" the blond bombshell, Lindsey called out.

"He said communal, not communion," Gwen huffed as she took a seat by our cabin. "It means we shower together."

Oh… I hadn't considered that. Obviously, they weren't going to let us and the girls bathe together, but not having privacy was a bitter pill to swallow.

Lindsey started to cry and whine about the whole thing. What sort of life did she live before?

"Man, the Bass guys got lucky," the short guy, Cody, said with a grin. "There's like seven girls and only four of them."

I took a good look at him and frowned. Yeah, he and I probably weren't going to get along very well.

"Maybe not so lucky," another of the contestants said with a sigh. She took a raspy breath and adjusted her glasses. "There's only four of us here, and that means we have more room."

What was her name again? Beth? God, there were so many names to remember! It was a miracle I knew the ones I did!

Well, I should probably at least try and memorize the names of my teammates. There was still the guy dressed in red. He looked like he was on his way to the gym, especially with that headband.

"Come on, it's not so bad," the final member of our team said. "I'm sure if we work together, we'll make a great team."

Courtney? That was her name, right?

"Sure, sugarplum," Gwen said with a huff.

I took one final look at the other team. Yeah, I'd totally forgotten most of their names now. Ah well, I'd figure it out eventually.

"You got thirty minutes to unpack and meet me back at the main lodge! You saw it on the way here, so I won't accept anyone getting lost!" Chris called out.

A sharp scream tore my eyes, and those of everyone else away from Chirs.

What now? Surely someone hadn't hurt themselves already, right?

—————

"B-But it was a bug! Why would we have bugs?!"

I tried to tune out Lindsey. Sure, she was probably one of the hotter girls here, but she was… well, she was the stereotypical rich air-head.

I honestly didn't know people like that actually existed in real life!

"I know!"

"So gross!"

…

Should people really be talking about bugs now? We left the damned cabins ages ago! More importantly, we were here to get food!

"I serve three times a day and you will eat it three times a day!" the chef shouted. Man, the guy had a pair of lungs on him. "If you miss a meal, you will not be getting another one!"

Seriously? Was he a drill sergeant or a cook?

"Now grab your tray, grab your food, and sit your butts down. Now!"

I had to admit, having a big, muscular black man shouting at me wasn't what I was expecting when I came here. This guy didn't look like a chef- he looked like some kind of bodybuilder or soldier.

While everyone was staring, I saw Hans skulk up with his plate and grab some grub.

Maybe he had the right idea. The first people would get the fresher ingredients, right?

I picked up a tray and quickly joined him.

"Smart," the chef said.

Ugh… was this even food?

I poked the spongy slop and then took a seat next to Hans.

Did it just move? Was this thing alive?

"What was that big guy? Come closer, I didn't hear you!" the chef growled.

I had to bite back a laugh. Ok. Everyone here was crazy and a bit scary, but it was kind of funny.

"Don't think I didn't hear that!" the chef called out. "Do you find my food funny? Why don't you come up here and laugh in my face!"

God. That guy had the ears of a damned owl!

Hans quickly dragged his book across the table for me. I glanced down at it as he frantically pointed at the words.

"I think I saw a burger crawling around the floor! Help!"

…

Yep. Not touching that at all.

"Yeah, this food's kind of nice!" I took a bite out of it and nearly threw up. Oh, it didn't taste bad but it was clinging to my throat like some sort of octopus!

It was at that point that Chris walked in.

"I see you're all enjoying your food! Great!" he said with a smile. "I'll let you finish, but just know that your first challenge begins in an hour! Enjoy~"

An hour?

And here I was thinking we'd get the day off.

Oh well. I'd just have to do my best.

 

[Leekz01]

The first challenge, huh? What the hell was it going to be? Maybe they'd have us swim?

…

I hope not, cause that water was freezing!

"T-this is one h-heck of a walk…" the skinny, weird guy said. What was his name? Harold? "N-not even the p-power walking m-moves I studied are h-helping that much!"

Moves? The guy was marching up the cliff like one of those soldiers in gun parades or something. If anything, his "technique" was making it worse for him!

"Don't tear a muscle, buddy," the jock, Tyler, said with a chuckle. "You look like a duck, and I doubt any technique's going to fix that."

He puffed out his chest and flashed him a grin.

"If you need advice from someone who actually knows what they're doing, I got you."

Full of himself, wasn't he?

"Ain't no helping him," Duncan said with a laugh as he strolled past us. "A loser's a loser, through and through!"

"Just walk normally," I said, sending Harold a look as I shook my head. "No need to make everything so complicated."

"N-no," he said with a determined expression. "I-I w-won't surrender."

Huh. Being stubborn could be a strength, I guess. Hopefully, it wouldn't bite us in the ass…

Tapping my shoulder, Hans matched my pace and then pulled out his little book.

"Nice day for a swim, right?"

I rolled my eyes.

"It's probably bungee jumping or something," I said with a roll of my eyes. "Or maybe they'll have us glide down the hill?"

The island wasn't that big, and sure, its "cliff" was pretty tall, but I'd seen plenty of buildings a lot bigger than it.

"Then again, the crappy kitchen and our rooms make bungee jumping sounds like the worst…" I gulped and looked over the edge and down toward the lake beneath. If they got the measurements wrong, we'd definitely be breaking something, right?

Hmm? Were those floaters or something down there? It was a bit too hard to see…

"I bet they'll have us jump!" the odd girl said. Izzy, right? "They'll give us some wings and then throw us off the edge! The one who can stay in the air longest before falling will be the winner!"

What.

As much as I'd have loved to just ignore this girl, the things she said were just too much. I Had to say something.

"Look, I doubt they'd just throw us off a cliff," I shot back. "If one of us gets hurt, then they'd be in trouble."

"Pffff!" rolling her lip and hollering like a hyena, she shook her head. "No way! Didn't you read the contract? Form eight, clause three! Any and all events performed on camera consented to by the participants will have damages paid for and waived!"

She smiled confidently.

"As long as we're good enough to send to a hospital, they won't get in trouble!"

What? No, that wasn't a thing, right? There was no way something like that would hold up in court!

…

Then again, I wasn't really all that knowledgeable when it came to the law…

Either way, I didn't have much to say to that. Before long, we were all the way at the top of the hill.

I stared down, feeling my legs tremble a little bit. It looked higher than it was, but still…

That was one long drop.

—————

"Hello one, hello all, and hello Owen!" Chris said as everyone made it to the top. Owen was… well, the guy was alive. That was saying a lot, considering he actually made it all. "Happy to see you all made it! Today's challenge is simple as simple could be."

He said, motioning to the cliff's edge. "If you look down, you'll see two rings of floaters!"

Oh. Oh no.

"The wide ring represents the part of the lake that we have stocked with psychotic, man-eating sharks!" he said, stiffing a laugh.

What. No, seriously. What?! Was he insane?! Were those sharks trained or something?!

…

Maybe I was the crazy one for thinking sharks could be trained.

"Inside that area is a safe zone. Now, that's your target area, so make sure you land in it, alright?"

That ever-present grin of his was starting to really get on my nerves.

"We're pretty sure it's shark-free," he said with a nod. "The cliff's about a thousand feet high, so you'll be fine! Trust me!"

Umm. Was that true?

"Excuse me?" Leshawna, the big, dark-skinned girl said.

Yeah, she was speaking my mind.

"For each member of your team that safely lands in the inner ring, you'll get supplies for the next part of the challenge," Chris said, continuing on as if he'd heard nothing. "Which is… building a hot tub!"

A… a what? Why?!

"Ooh! A hot tub!" Ditzy head, Lindsay said excitedly. "I love hot tubs! Does it come with the little foot massager things?"

Smiling, Chris chuckled and shrugged.

"Maybe! You'll have to try and get all the supplies to find out!"

So that was a no. More importantly, how the hell were we going to build a damned hot tub?!

"The winners will have a nice hot tub party, and the losers will be sending someone home!"

Insane. I knew I was saying this a lot, but this whole challenge was insane! Sharks?! This had to be illegal, right?

"Now, we won't be sending you down there without any help!"

Oh, thank god.

"Which is why we went out and got all of you a nice selection of swimsuits, swim trunks, and floaties if you so wish!"

The sound of a squeaky wheel echoed through the area, but that was it.

Clearing his throat, Chris pointed behind us.

"Which is why we went out and got you all some swimsuits!!"

A few seconds later, a small trailer peeked over the hill.

"You can all take turns picking something out! Either change here or walk all the way back to camp and change there!"

What an ass. As if anyone wanted to make the damned tip back up again.

…

Shit. I'd left my trunks in my suitcase…

"Don't worry, they're free of charge!" Chris added.

Yeah. Great.

"Oh! One last thing!" Clearing his throat, he turned to Hans' team.

"The Killer Bass will be taking the plunge first, so get your line up in order, alright?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

At least we weren't going first.

————————

Bridgette, that was her name, right?

"I… I guess I'll go first." Swallowing, she scooted closer to the edge of the cliff. Taking a few deep breaths, she jumped into the air, diving straight down.

Just like that? She just… jumped?

I and a few others rushed to the cliff's edge, peering down and watching as she expertly landed in the inner ring.

The world spun around me and I slowly got onto my knees. God, this was so damned high. I… could I really do this?

Poking her head out from under the water, she held a held up and shouted something. It was too far to hear, but she seemed fine.

"She did it!"

Someone called out.

Yeah, she did.

"Very nice," one of her teammates said. Geoff, was it? "Perfect form too."

Was it? I guess she was pretty accurate.

I gulped.

"My turn!" Geoff shouted as he leaped off the cliff, an excited scream leaving his lip and carrying all the way down.

Everyone had to be crazy, then.
But I was here too, wasn't I?

Taking a running start, the muscular girl, Eva, jumped right after him.

"Look out below!"

And so, their team kept jumping, at least until there was an argument.

"I'm not jumping," Heather said. "We're on TV, you know that, right? I'm not getting my hair wet!"

Seriously? That was the reason, not the thousand-foot drop?!

"Oh, you're going to jump," Leshawna growled out. "We ain't losing because of some pampered, stuck-up little princes."

"Excuse me?!" Heather growled back. "Who do you think you are? I'm not taking this from some ghetto glamor plus-sized queen."

Wow. I couldn't believe she actually said that.

"That's it!"

Suffice it to say, Heather didn't put up much of a fight. Picking her up like a twig, Leshawna chucked her off the cliff.

Honestly? It was about as funny as it was terrifying.

Eh, she'd be fine, right? Everyone else made it down safely.

A second later, Leshawna jumped in after her. The loud scream that echoed up from the bottom told me she was right on the money.

That had to hurt!

And then, finally, there was Hans.

He took one look at the jump, turned to stare at my team, and then shook his head.

"Not going to jump?" Chris asked with a grin. "If the other team has everyone jump, it'll be on your head!"

Rolling his eyes, he took out his notebook and wrote a big and obvious-

"Oh well. Sucks, but I'm a horrible swimmer and I'm allergic to sharks."

What a liar.

"Alright then! Put this hat on and get your butt down to the bottom!" Chris said, pulling out some sort of chicken hat out of his ass. Seriously, where was he hiding that?!

Finally, there was Owen. He peered over the edge, trembling and looking back toward us.

Working up his courage, he ran off the cliff.

"Geronimo!" Owen shouted. His excited call soon turned into a terrified scream as he fell like some sort of meteor.

"AHHHHHH!"

The guy had a pair of lungs on him!

The instant he hit the water, it rose up like some sort of dragon! The tidal wave smashed into the cliff, nearly toppling the boat.

Holy shit. Was… was that even possible?

I shook my head and took a breath. It didn't matter.

"Screaming Gophers, you're up!"

Our turn. It was fine. Other people had done it. I could do the same, right?

—-

"Now, try and-"

Izzy ran past, jumping off the cliff before Chris could even finish his sentence.

"Yeaaaaaah!" she screamed, arms wide and a manic grin on her face.

Justin followed soon after, eyes closed and executing a perfect swan dive.

I started to smile. It was clear that I was overreacting a bit.

"Yee haw!" Harold roared as he jumped off the cliff, legs wide and-

Wait, no, don't!

Too late. He hit the bottom with a sickening crunch.

"GAHHHH!" he screamed, slowly sinking into the water until someone picked him up.

Lesson learned. Do not do the splits on the way down.

It took a breath, watching as the nerdy girl, Beth, gulped.

"I-I can't do it, I'm sorry."

I winced. That made it a tie.

"Down you go, you little chicken!" Chris chuckled, slamming a hat on her head and making chicken noises.

Cody went next, making it rather smoothly.

The only two left were me and Courtney. She took a look at me, and the water, and then sighed.

Shutting her eyes, she jumped into the water. She didn't say a word as she fell.

Honestly? I got the impression she was going to chicken out.

"Looks like you're the last one up, Lee," Chris joked. "Game point too! Your team's victory literally depends on this! But, you know, no pressure!"

Ass.

I stepped forward, took a breath, and then jumped off. The wind rushed past my face. The cliff's pointy bits were way too close for comfort. And then, I hit the water.

It was over way faster than I'd expected.

It felt like someone punched me in the gut and all the air I'd saved in my lunges rushed out at once. But then I surfaced and took a deep breath.

"Yeah!"

"You did it!"

"I guess a tie's better than a loss..."

My team roared and I couldn't keep a smile off my face.

That was intense! I hated heights and always have. The fact I jumped at all was a surprise, even to me!

"Y-yeah," I coughed out, swimming to the boat. The circling shark fins in the distance drew ever closer, but I was on the boat before they could become an issue.

Oh shit. I'd totally forgotten about the damned sharks!

Adrenaline was one hell of a drug.

"Time to make the hot tub, I guess," someone said.

Oh… right. The challenge wasn't over.

Well, after that, I didn't mind a bit of handiwork.

---

I had to admit, there were plenty of things I expected to do on this island, but building a damned hot tub was not one of them.

"T-these things are so heavy!" Beth groaned as she tried and failed to push her box. "Ugh!"

I couldn't blame her. The damned thing was bigger than her!

"You could wait to use one of the carts they gave us?" I said, slowing my pace. "These things aren't a joke!"

My box was a tad bigger than hers, but I had the upside of muscles. It was heavy and uncomfortable to push, but I'd had to deal with worse things from my sister.

Seriously, why couldn't she get other people to help move her damned couch?

"I-I can't!" Beth whimpered. "I-I already lost us a point! If I can't do this much, then I'll d-definitely be voted out if we don't win!" She grumbled and then threw her shoulder back into the box, pushing against it. To her credit, it did budge a little bit, leaving behind a thick trail on the sand as she pushed it forward.

I sighed and took a look at everyone else. Hans wasn't fairing much better than Beth, but he had the edge of being surprisingly good at garnering sympathy from others.

"Don't worry, dude. I'll help you out!" Owen said as she lined his box in front of Hans and then the two of the pushed, moving them as one.

Hans was a quiet, weird kid, but damned if he wasn't good at getting others to like him.

"Here, let me help you out a bit," I said with a smile. "There's a trick to it. Can't say I'll be able to push both of ours, but it should at least make things easier."

The other part of our team had gone ahead with the cart. They'd be back eventually, but the closer we got these boxes, the sooner we could start building our tub.

"T-thank you," Beth said as she fell to the floor, legs giving out under her. She coughed, clearing her sinuses, and then took a quick minute to catch her breath.

"It's not that hard, bro!" Tyler called out as he walked past us. "Sure, they're heavy, but just gotta put your back into it!"

How was he-

"See?" Lifting the box over his head, he started walking away. Each step he took had him slowly sink into the sand, but he was otherwise ok.

How?!

Beth blinked and then looked at me.

"Is… Is that nor-"

"It's not," I said with a sigh. "Maybe he's got a lighter box or something? There's no way someone could just lift these things over their head and-"

"Maybe not you, loser, but I can," Duncan said with a snort. "I think the problem is you and those sissy arms of yours."

Just like Tyler, he was walking away with the box in his hands. Sure, he wasn't lifting it over his head, but he was still carrying the damned thing!

…

Was it really me?

I took another look at the box and reached out, grabbing it by the side. Bending my knees, I gripped its edges tight and lifted.

"Huh." I blinked, looking down at the box. "I guess I was just overthinking things?"

It was heavy as hell, sure, but I could actually lift it.

"W-wow…" Beth whispered. "Maybe I can do it too?"

Raising back up onto her feet, she grabbed the box and tried to lift it.

"Wait, maybe you should-"

There was a sickening crack as she fell to the ground, clutching her back.

"Oww…" she whimpered. "Bad idea! Stupid, stupid me!"

I winced and put my box down. Shit.

Rushing to her side I did some very simple checks. I didn't know first aid or anything, but it wasn't good to move people when they hurt their backs, right?

"Try not to move. Are you ok? Where does it hurt?"

Burring her face into the sand, she growled out a few things.

"M'fine!" she said with a muffled groan, though not one of pain. "Just… leave me! Go get our box there and I'll wait for the carts!"

I sighed. If she was fine enough to be grouchy, then she was probably ok, right?

"A-alright," I said with a nod. "I'll take mine and then come check up on you."

She nodded and that was that.

It was probably wrong to think this, but I hadn't felt so nervous talking to her. Hans and I weren't exactly known for being good with girls, but Beth felt a bit different.

…

She reminded me a bit of Harold, so that was probably why. Still, even I knew that telling her something like that would probably be very rude.

Hopefully, she'd be fine.

—————

In the end, I didn't have to worry about Beth. The big guy, Owern, had gone back and seen her lying down. He'd basically carried her all the way back to camp, though I did meet him halfway. Beth and I weren't friends or anything, but I still felt a bit bad about the whole things.

It was probably why I went up to Owen with a nervous smile on my lip.

"Thanks," I said. "I'd have carried her back myself, but…"

"Hah! Don't worry about it, buddy," he said with a friendly smile. "She looked like she needed to use the bathroom or something, and, well, trust me when I say that I've been there!"

Right…

"Still, thanks. She wasn't on your team, so that's real nice of you."

He rolled his eyes and pulled me into a hug- or rather, a headlock.

"Hey, we might be on different teams, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends!" he said with a chuckle. "You think so too, right?"

…

I couldn't breathe. Good god, his armpits! Did a squirrel crawl in there and die!?

"C-can't… reath…"

He let me go and I took a big gulp of air.

"Haha, you alright?" he asked, taking a whiff of his armpit. "Sorry about that. I get real sweaty when I'm exercise of feel nervous!"

My eyes were burning!

"I-I'm fine…" I whispered. "T-thanks again, b-but I need to head back to my team. Bye."

Owen waved and quickly ran back.

——————

"What happened to you?" Courtney asked as I rejoined the team. "You look like a bit sick…"

I gulped and took a breath,

"J-just smelled something," I said, shaking my head. "What's up with your eye? It's a bit swollen?"

"A-a bug bit me or something," she said, nervously scratching at her face. "It's not that bad, right?"

…

"R-right?"

"I-It's fine, I think," I said with a nervous chuckle. "If it was really bad, you'd probably be feeling more than that. Besides, I'm sure this place has medical staff or something, right?"

Right? Please let me be right…

"I suppose that's true," she said, turning to her box.

"And remember!" Chris called out as he suddenly walked though our team's side of the campgrounds. "You have to open the boxes with your teeth! Came up with that one myself, so have fun!"

…

What. What?!

How?

"Graah!" Without so much as a pause, Izzy dug her teeth into her box's side.

That girl… really?

She was something else.

——————

Surprisingly, Izzy was the first one to open any of the boxes. I still couldn't believe we actually had to open them like that.

I'd nearly lost a tooth when my grip on the rope slipped.

Anyway, everyone had their boxes open soon enough.

"I got some hammers…" I said, pulling out my tools.

"I got some wood," Justin said with a smooth grin as he flashed some planks.

Really? Was that a joke or something?

"Anyone know how to build a hot tub?" Cody asked as he held out the "manual" for our tub. "Cause this thing's just a bunch of silly drawings."

"What? That can't be," Courtney said with a frown. She walked closer and snatched the manual, scanning it with her eyes. "Oh my god… he's right!"

Turning it over so everyone could see, Cody's words rang true.

"Holy mole," Harold said with a gasp. "Those are some really bad drawings."

"Ha! Tell me about it," Duncan chortled. "What, did they get some preschoolers to draw this crap? I think a blind man could probably do a better job at this!"

"Maybe a girl drew it, ya?" Ezekiel said with a laugh. "On account of it looking so bad, right?"

What…

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Gwen asked as she stepped closer, her brow furrowed and her hands crossed over her chest.

"Huh? Oh, I mean, girls are bad at drawing, you know? Everyone knows that."

This guy. Sure, we only had four girls on our team, but that was a pretty big number. He was lucky that he wasn't on the other team.

"Look, horrible drawing skills aside, we need a plan," Courtney said as she laid the manual on the ground. "Since I've actually been a C.I.T. before, I'm electing myself."

A what?

"I don't even know what that means…" Tyler said with a frown.

"It doesn't matter," she shot back. "All you need to know is that I have a plan! Just follow it and we'll be finished in no time!"

She motioned to the other team.

"Look, they're just sort of floundering about-"

"Well, they are the Killer Bass," Harold said with a laugh, holding his hand out.

Ok. Fine. That wasn't so bad.

I reached out and gave him a high five.

"Good one," Cody said with a snicker.

"Yeah, heh," Harold replied with a nod.

Rolling her eyes, Courtney pointed to the enemy team again.

"They're disorganized, so as long as we work together, we'll win!"

She had a point.

"Alright," I said, holding my hand out. "If we're going to get anywhere, we have to work as a team."

A hand reached out and stopped over mine.

"A-agreed," Beth said with a meek smile.

"Makes sense," Cody said with a nod, joining his hand on top of ours.

"It's stupid, but I ain't losing to a bunch of floundering fish," Duncan growled out. "Ain't doing this handsy crap, though."

Rolling her eyes, Gwen put her hand forward. Everyone else followed shortly after.

Time to win.

——————

You know, sometimes things look so easy that we think they'll never work. This was one of those occasions. All it took was a bit of teamwork and coordination and we had our hot tub built by at least a good hour before Hans and his team.

To be honest, it looked pretty bad for a while there.

"Here, it goes like this," Justin said as he hammered in a nail.

"The board goes in this spot," he'd said again.

Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing. Still, I knew how to use a hammer and basic measurements.

When all was said and done, our hot tubs looked pretty similar. The fact we finished an hour early wasn't as good of an indication as we thought.

"Huh," Chris hummed as he inspected both of the tubs. "You know, I was expecting one to look like crap and the other to be super clean."

"Yeah, well those instructions didn't help at all," Courtney growled out.

"Did you snatch them from some preschool or something?" Duncan said with a laugh. "They were terrible!"

Standing next to Chirs, the Chef seemed to simmer. Holy shit. The guy looked just about ready to kill someone!

"Don't worry your little heads!" Chris said with a smile. "I've got just the thing to tell which one of these two is the best!"

Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out two firecrackers. Lighting their fuses, he waited a few seconds.

"Almost-"

Right as it was about to explore, he tossed both of them. One into our team's tub and the other into Han's tub.

A second passed before they exploded.

Bits of wood and water rained over everyone, but when the dust settled, only one of the hot tubs still stood.

"We win!" Harold called out. "I knew it! I told you those special rituals helped!"

What.

"And it seems we have a winner," Chris said with a laugh. "Screaming Gophers, you're clear for the next three days!"

I couldn't help but let out a relieved breath.

The other team, however…

"This sucks," Noah said with a sigh.

"Tell me about it," Owen said with a frown. "But we can't give up! One loss doesn't mean we lost the war! We'll win the next one!"

Maybe, but at least for now, I didn't have to worry about being voted out.

That was enough for me.

 

[Xodarap]

Graham seems to be mixing in well with the other contestants and his weird quirks are only slightly more normal that the rest of the bottom barrel teens.

I'm still curious if he actually has a friend in the staff camera guys or it's a delusional imaginary friend

 

[DannyPhantom619]

Wonder which canon characters got replaced in this universe?