Valley of the Furbies (Naruto AU)

[IlPogitano]

Kankuro had been prepared for the worst when he and his siblings departed the Hidden Sand Village to come to the Leaf's aid, more or less. He loves Gaara, really, with all his heart—but a spade is a spade and a jinchuriki is an explosive tag waiting to go off. Sasuke is one thing, and Kankuro isn't scared of him. Kankuro has lived with Gaara every day of his life since the tender age of barely more than a fetus. So, no. Kankuro isn't scared of whatever it is that Sasuke, or Orochimaru, or the entirety of Sound is on about with this kidnapping.

Kankuro is afraid of whatever it is that Naruto, glorified monster pressure cooker that he is, will do about it.

Which is all to say that, when Kankuro and his siblings pull up on the Valley of the End in the middle distance, Kankuro isn't surprised, exactly, to see a building-sized Summon's furry head peeking out over the horizon to tower above the treeline. He can't quite tell what animal clan it belongs to, though he's fairly certain he'd seen it before too, when Gaara had fought Naruto during their failed invasion. He glances back at Temari over his shoulder as they run, and she isn't quite an expert either, but she does have that contract with the weasels going for her.

Temari isn't looking at him, though, and isn't looking up at the whatever-it-is, and has in fact stopped running altogether. Kankuro can't make out her whole expression from the vanguard, but he's fairly familiar with this one, with this particular shade of questioning, slack-jawed horror. His stomach dropping, he follows her gaze to Gaara.

Gaara, who's rooted to the tree branch he'd landed on, frozen and wide-eyed and staring up far above them at what must be the great, big, furry whatever-it-is.

His brother isn't—he's not especially expressive, not really, not even on a good day. But Kankuro is… familiar, reasonably, with terror, in no small part thanks to Gaara himself. And Gaara, well. Gaara hasn't so much seen some shit as he's caused shit for others—Kankuro, often—to then see. Gaara isn't easy to spook. And Gaara, according to all accounts and standing evidence, likes Naruto.

After what feels like an eternity but must only be a single moment of pure, mind-numbing panic, Kankuro registers that his mouth is moving, though only by the rasp of his suddenly-dry throat. "Please, please tell me that... thing is not the Nine-Tailed Fox."

Obligingly, and possibly on autopilot considering that his gaze remains fixed on the please-be-a-Summon, Gaara says: "That thing is not the Nine-Tailed Fox."

Kankuro relaxes marginally, just enough to have control over his muscles and joints again, and sees Temari do the same. They share a Look. She turns back to Gaara.

"Gaara," Temari starts, gentle in the way that only the truly wary can manage. "Should we keep going?"

Finally, Gaara tears his eyes away from the beast ahead, something wild with what can only be personal experience about his shrunken pupils. His voice is steady, dead with certainty, when he again speaks.

"They're not going to need us."

​

Temari likes to think of herself and her brothers as professionals. They are shinobi; they do what is required of them, for the sake of their family and their village, regardless of personal feelings. Even if that means setting aside every principle and ideal they may have held dear. Even if it means walking into what must surely be Hell, or worse. Even if she really, really doesn't want to.

By the time the three of them have made it to the waterfall's crest, the creature had already disappeared some minutes prior, in a great big puff of smoke. Looking on down from her perch, stood with her siblings on the riverbank under and behind the stone Hashirama's sculpted sleeve, Temari can just about puzzle out the scene below: Naruto, in unmistakably bright orange, doing what appears to be some kind of victory dance with a figure in grey and some kind of small animal; four more Leaf shinobi, one of whom she recognizes as Shikamaru by his terrible hair and another she recognizes as Rock Lee by his terrible clothes, all clustered around a restrained, red-haired kunoichi; and…

And Sasuke, also restrained. Temari can't quite tell what they used to bind him or the kunoichi, besides that it seems to be the same material, or maybe technique. But, well. Gaara was right, seemingly. She looks to Kankuro for solidarity, dread pooling in her gut despite the surface-level neatness of whatever solution the Leaf ninja have apparently found for themselves.

Kankuro, always her partner in resigned terror, nods tightly back. Gaara, beside him, remains dishearteningly shell-shocked.

Temari sucks in a fortifying breath. She jumps, beginning the descent to the waterfall's base, trusting her brothers to follow.

They aren't trying to be quiet, not any more so than shinobi are by nature, so their arrival is properly telegraphed and no projectiles are hurled their way. Not that it matters much, she notes. The boy in gray, now identifiable as an Inuzuka from up closer and the small animal as his dog, would have noticed them by scent either way.

She can't quite bring herself to look at whatever it is they used to hold Sasuke and the Sound ninja, so instead, she meets Shikamaru's eyes when he looks up. Annoyingly, he's wearing a Chuunin vest—they'll be reporting to him for the moment. Ugh.

By the time the Sand ninja have made it all the way down to the waterfall's bottom bank, he's broken off from the others around the kunoichi to meet them, Naruto himself hot on his heels.

"Gaara!" Naruto greets, beaming and waving wildly. Gaara, mutely, makes a face only Temari and Kankuro have the practice to recognize as deer-in-headlights adjacent, but not displeased.

The other Leaf shinobi watch the new arrivals with varying levels of occupationally-mandated wariness. Shikamaru, for his part, appears to Temari to be frazzled but resolved by his body language.

She's still not looking at Sasuke. She's still not looking at the kunoichi. Vaguely, she hopes she can get through this ordeal without ever having to.

"I had heard something about how our village finally made up with you traitors," Shikamaru chooses to open with, stance deceptively casual, hands in his pants' pockets. "Did you come here as reinforcements, or to pick us off after the Sound shinobi were through with us? Either way, you're out of luck."

On one side of Temari, Gaara is being lovingly hounded by the other jinchuriki; on the other, Kankuro, having made the very mistake she's been circling around making, blanches at something behind and to the right of Shikamaru. The kunoichi, presumably. Temari can only bring herself to feel an oncoming, bone-deep exhaustion just on the edge of her nerves.

"The Fifth Hokage requested us," she tells Shikamaru, simply, and raises an eyebrow. "It appears she shouldn't have bothered."

Shikamaru tilts his whole head up to look heavenwards. Temari can't even blame him. "No," he says. "No, she shouldn't have."

Dreading the answer, Temari asks anyway. Because she's a professional, dammit. "Are you going to tell us why?"

Shikamaru doesn't look down, only gestures ambiguously behind him, one-handed. Temari steels herself and, finally, lets herself get an eyeful.

She doesn't know what kind of expression is startled out of her, but the part of her brain that hasn't deteriorated into static supposes it must look something like Kankuro's still gaping face. They are related, after all. She wonders, the notion rattling around in her skull, what about the… entities… entangling Sasuke and the evidently still-struggling kunoichi struck him first. The cheerfully pastel fur? The unnaturally elongated bodies? The striking resemblance to the towering summon from earlier, perhaps? Personally, Temari finds herself the most thoroughly unsettled by the glossy, perfectly spherical eyes bulging out of their heads.

"What… are these things?" Kankuro asks, and good on him for recovering so quickly. Temari can always count on her bigger little brother to put his foot in his mouth, for better or for worse. Distantly, she registers the captive kunoichi attempting to yell something doubtlessly profane, muffled beyond comprehension by her gag.

"They're my Summons!" Naruto supplies brightly, distracted from whatever it was he'd been excitedly chattering on to Gaara about. "Cool, right? Say hi, guys!"

Horrifyingly, the Summon coiled around Sasuke—the yellow one—perks up. "Hello!"

"Uh," Kankuro returns, intelligently. "Uh. Hi?"

"Hi!" greets the Summon restraining the Sound ninja. Pink, Temari observes, and with great effort manages to blink her eyes rapidly back into focus.

"What happened here?" she demands of the group at large. Sasuke, now that she's paying attention to him, appears to have turned empty eyes on the sun, and—oh, Sage, did he manage to burn the image of these things into his memory? Temari experiences an uncharacteristic pang of sympathy for him. A glance back at Gaara, ineffable gaze fixed intently on Sasuke, suggests to her that she may not be alone in this sentiment.

Shikamaru, who still won't bring himself to look at her, slumps just a little. "The Fifth deployed us to intercept a kidnapping attempt from Sound, executed by five of their shinobi. We followed the four of them that were carrying Sasuke into the forest, and considered splitting up to deal with them, but..."

He appears to be in immense spiritual pain. Temari does not care. She stations her fists on her hips. "But?"

"But that'd take too long!" Naruto finishes for him, emphatically.

"Right," the Inuzuka interjects, grin full of wicked, canine teeth. His dog, now perched on his head, mirrors him. "So Naruto—he starts throwing a tantrum, and—"

"I did not—"

"You did too—"

"And Naruto summoned the Furbies!" laughs one of the other Leaf ninja, the large boy. Akimichi. Shikamaru thanks him with his eyes.

"The Furbies," Temari repeats, before they can well and truly start an argument. Next to her, Gaara shudders almost imperceptibly, and Temari's soul leaves her body. Kankuro, she knows, is the only one who understands her in this.

"My Summons!" Naruto reiterates, proud as can be.

The Sound kunoichi screams, wordlessly. Furiously. Temari kind of wants to salute her.

"You said there were five of them," she prompts Shikamaru, clinging to her dignity. Really, what else do any of them have at this point?

"One of them was backup," Shikamaru tells her. "Bloodline Limit user, showed up on the scene after the Furbies were done with the rest of his team. We were tying this one up,"—here, he nods to the red-haired kunoichi—"To bring her back to the village for questioning, when he tried to cut and run with the barrel they had Sasuke in. So Naruto threw more Furbies at him."

"Fifteen Furbies," supplies Neji Hyuga, from the back. Temari recognizes him. He looks haunted.

"So Naruto threw fifteen Furbies at him," Shikamaru amends.

"Right. Right, fine." Temari pinches the bridge of her nose, admirably but futilely trying to fight off a headache. "And you tied Sasuke up because…?"

"We think they did something to him. Not all there in the head right now." There's something like steel in his eyes when he says it, which only serves to tell Temari that Shikamaru is lying to her. She isn't being paid enough for this mission to call him out on it. If the last Uchiha wants to defect, who is she to question him? To be perfectly honest, she wouldn't want to live in the same village as these creatures either.

"So you fought him." Temari isn't asking a question, not this time. She's making a statement.

"Fought is such a strong word…"

"It was magnificent! I only wish Tenten could have been here to see such a feat of the art of seal-based combat!" Rock Lee interrupts, fist clenched before him and tears streaming down his face. Didn't Gaara kill this guy during the exams? Temari doesn't remember. Apparently not.

"I don't," says Neji Hyuga, succinctly, but with feeling.

Kankuro, to Temari's left, thumps a fist against his palm in realization. "That's what the giant Furby was for!"

Shikamaru nods. "And then the giant Furby stepped on Sasuke."

"And I won!" Naruto declares for all the world to hear, like that's the important part.

"If anything, the Furby won," opines the Inuzuka, followed by a distinctly supportive series of barks from his dog. Naruto, promptly, starts a screaming match with him.

Faintly, Temari's ears begin to ring. "Where did he even get the summoning scroll for these things from?"

Shikamaru only shakes his head. "At this point, I'm afraid to ask."

​

Gaara hates Furbies.

 

[NuclearBirb]

Yeah, this sure is crack. Silly for sure. I enjoyed reading it.

 

[IlPogitano]

Yeah, this sure is crack. Silly for sure. I enjoyed reading it.

Click to shrink...

Thank you!

 

[ArsMagna1337]

The horror. I've seen the stories on 4chan. Killing them wouldn't make them die but make the horror ten times more terrifying.

 

[IlPogitano]

The horror. I've seen the stories on 4chan. Killing them wouldn't make them die but make the horror ten times more terrifying.

Click to shrink...

Furbies operate on DBZ rules. Every time they die, they just get stronger.