What would really happen if your waifu was brought into existence in front of you?

[The Vale]

So I saw a meme pic today over on SB funny pics thread, about bringing to life your waifu in exchange for your best friend's soul - and it got me thinking about what would actually happen if waifu x was made real in front of you. Most of the time they are probably not interested in you - you just met after all. They also are either going to have some dependency on you (essentially illegal immigrants with no home country for all their lack of identity), or they are going to be way more competent than you thanks to being the exceptional kind of person who crops up in a story. A lot of the time they are just going to fuck off to do their own thing/try to get home (if such is possible). Some characters are the type to fuck you up just for being there when they arrived.

So I tried to think of who would actually be a positive to pop into existence in front of me, as is, with no changes to their character, no special powers on my part, just playing it straight. I kept coming up blank. Except for maybe Six from Tripping the Rift. Most I thought of would rapidly fuck off to do their own thing.

So what would your waifu do?

 

[GhanAyllan]

Probably make me into mincemeat—what can I say, I like them dangerous.

 

[Guardian Box]

...I die?

I don't really have a waifu, but the few female characters I like a lot all would probably start the date with casual murder.

Sanakan would start launching linear black holes at me and Android 18 would just casually vaporize me. I'll rate Alita at 50/50 for death and no death due to the unexpected circumstances. 2B might wait a moment to recognize I'm a human so she might not start the murderizing right away, but then my head would get crushed in between her thicc thighs out of my own volition anyways so...

 

[Renko]

I depends though.

There are like lots of things that can happen depending on which waifu appears in front of me!

 

[DestyNova]

Mercy would no doubt kick me in the groin for treating her as just something to get off on.

 

[Vajra]

She'd probably try to get in contact with the Japanese embassy and get sent back to her home country.

 

[Amazon Climber]

I'd probably die. But that's because my first thought is She-Hulk, and the others aren't much better in terms of me surviving what's going to happen if she does like me.

Then again, I'd be reasonably happy just getting used as a body pillow while she gets her shit together and tests into the state bar.

 

[nick012000]

Sakura Matou gets very upset because she can't speak English and nobody in my family can speak Japanese, and she gets to grapple with the fact that she's been pulled 17 years into the future into an alternate universe where her childhood sexual abuse is public knowledge.

 

[Guardian Box]

I got it. I shall waifu Monika.

Her reaction?

"This is everything I've ever wanted"

 

[Sho'vothar]

...Uhhh

She rapes me. Then rapes me some more. Then rapes me even more. Then i die from snu snu. Then she ressurects me and rapes me again until i die a second time. Then she fucking eats me. The end.

 

[S.I.N]

...Uhhh

She rapes me. Then rapes me some more. Then rapes me even more. Then i die from snu snu. Then she ressurects me and rapes me again until i die a second time. Then she fucking eats me. The end.

Click to shrink...

Who the fuck is your wifu.

 

[Lightbringer]

Ishtar would be confused since she is not in the middle ages anymore, I would probably blink and be impressed and repress my lust, and struggle with her speaking German (since apparently according to Kaga, Granvalle is analog to Germany).

Probably we get someone who speaks German to help her. Also I try to ask her to use Mjolnir because MAGIC is cool.
And see if she can teach me.

If she can magically speak my language?
Probably we would go on a journey to find a way to send her back home.

...yeah. Now out that?
This is kinda of a nice concept for a fic, if played right.

 

[Albadaarmahagsret]

your personality is going haywire. joy, hope, love, lust, anger, despair, catharsis. PAIN FILLS YOUR BRAIN. for only the ignorant will think that this is good. Of all things, there is nothing worse than... here it is. did this happen as an accident? or the universe has entered a period of patterns, when all states are realized in a row, simultaneously, and even mix with your every step (we are talking about all the small particles of nature). was. done. crimes. charity. hell and heaven.

 

[Soupervan]

Considering she's a lesbian and I'm a guy in my boxers presumably she'd scream, give me super cancer for kidnapping her then flee into the streets. Maybe she'd return when she realized she was in another dimension for an explanation on wtf was going on in exchange for curing me. If I'm extremely lucky maybe I can talk my way into getting her to transform me into a visage of her crush so we could be together and have lots of very kinky sex.
More importantly the alien tumor in her brain would notice the new dimension, people would probably start getting superpowers. Most people being selfish would abuse it with the people that choose to be superheroes being outnumbered a hundred to one, the world would turn to crap even more than it already is then as an afterthought the Earth in our dimension would be destroyed when the spacewhale responsible throws his tantrum.
Needless to say my crush on Panacea would not end well if she came here and probably not much better if I went to her seeing as how I'd probably butterfly effect away their narrow victory.

 

[xyzinc]

Washu hibiki is going to be extremely interested in figuring out how she got here. And probably turn my house into a TARDIS like home. With multiple private dimensional pockets.

Then sh uses the house as a home base while preforming science on the local multiverse.

If she's feeling in the mood, I guess she'll look through my porn stash and imprison me in robot furry dommy mommy/horny monster women land AR as punishment for jerking off to her and her sisters/daughters in the past.

Or as a reward. Washu when she's in her playing around mood can be a little sex gremlin. If it's a reward, then that means bio mods upgrades to prevent death by snu snu.


She'd also probably recreate a lot of things from sci-fi just to see if it's possible in this reality and if she can manage it. Like a challenge or arts and crafts hobby.

 

[Florian]

She'd infect we with weird lewd energy and then the rest of the planet which is probably an improvement.

Seriously, I've got perhaps the most ideal waifu for this challenge.

 

[Lorsïthrorung]

Dies instantly without utilizing a CYOA for 'ardness.

 

[Yuhabahha]

Whether we go by the 'strict' interpretation of the prompt where the waifu just 'appears' or the more sensible that she'll at least be interested in you...

...I'm kinda fucked?

Shishou will probably stop before skewering me, probably due to the surprise of being outside the Land of Shadows without issue and detecting how weak I am, but, assuming she appears in my home, I'm unlikely to make the best first impression cause I like to lounge around in my underwear.

On the one hand, Shishou is somewhat likely to agree/want to train me, and thus, also heal my numerous issues with her Runes and so...I'm likely to plap her!

On the other hand, Shishou's training is a literal anime style variant of 'training from hell' so...I'm likely to be crying like a bitch well before this is over and/or die.

...meh, I'll take my chances.

If it is 2B that appears instead...

I'll just quote Guardian Box

2B might wait a moment to recognize I'm a human so she might not start the murderizing right away, but then my head would get crushed in between her thicc thighs out of my own volition anyways so...

Click to shrink...