Woke up inside a Redframe (SI){warning level of grammar is extremely low}

[a guy1013]

"Uh?,where am I"

feels around and pushes the power button of the ms by pure dumb luck

"much better,ok I finally having a dream where I'm piloting a Mobile suit,but sadly base on the cockpit it's not exia"

began feeling the controls and instinctively began controlling the MS like an extension of his body

Oustide the MS

people are running around in terror after the attack of Zaft and began running around,but one of the researchers went straight to the Goldframe's cockpit to runaway with his greatest creation,but unkown to him one of it's brother is already online.

Back with the MC

"Yes yes yes yes yes"

the Redframe got up and began moving around and saw someone get inside of one of the Astrays

"Hm, I'll wait for him to destroy a piece of the colony ,then shoot him after i get the others ready to be tied up for transport"

Our mc found some cables and began rounding up the other prototypes to one container that he luckily found and began moving out od the hanger containing him and his new Ms and assets

"huh,that took longer then expected hope i can still get the Gold one"

BOOM!!!!!!!!!

Our mc use one of the monitors and found a notification that showed a battle

"What!?,is that the strike fighting the aegis and a white Cgue"

he began thinking if he should help the Strike or help Cgue,but before he could decide the Goldframe fired a bazooka shot to escape

"you're not going away take this"

he moved the Redframe and aim the beam rifle at the Goldframe just enough to line the shot to hit the Goldframes cockpit killing the pilot without damaging the Mobile suit much

"Damn, I am either super lucky or just that good at piloting this thing"

He began moving his MS and asset container so he can get the remains of the Goldframe and the weapon it use to make the hole

"Hm, soo this is space I really need to get in contact with a ship cause I need a place to put my stuff at"

Before he could decide on what direction he should go beam fired near him

"damn that is close and thank my lucky stars that my stuff didn't get hit as well"

began looking around for anyship to dock as our mc feel like he needs to pee, luckily for him his choice will be made for him

the Zaft crew

"Unidentified Mobile Suit has appeared near our ship sir" soldier

"what,put on the screen" Captain

"it looks like one of those G weapons we just receive,men try and contact that mobile suit and some ginns to make sure the unidentified mobile suit doesn't escape" Captain

" " "Yes sir!!" " "

Back with Mc

Beep!!!

"what is that"

he looks around and finds a button that looks like it will aswer why there is a beeping sound"Unidentified mobile suit identify yourself" Captain

'Ah!!, I have to think of name and fast'

time pass for almost 5 seconds til anothing beep broke our Mc from his thoughts

Beep!
"what now"

Looks around and see ginns flying towards himself

"Repeat, Unidentified Mobile suit identify yourself"

"My name is Mc Insert, piloting the MBF-P02 Astray Redframe, asking if you will allow on-board to pee"

"Okay, Mr Insert what inside the cargo"

"Mobile suits and Mobile suits' parts and weapons"

Inside the Ship

"men we will let the stranger in so we can receive the mobile suits,parts and some answer as to why Rau didn't tell us there more of these thing"

Back outside

"We will let you aboard if you shut down your mobile and allow our Ginns to escort you to our ship"

'Wow this dream is surreal and hoping I can finally get into ms fight'

"sure"

our mc complied with the Zaft officer and was brought inside the ship to begin his interrogation after finding a restroom(toilet,comfort room) to relieve himself and some clothes as it turns out he was naked ,After giving our mc clothes they brought him to an interrogation room to begin the interrogation.the interrogation brought more information,then the Zaft soldiers can hope for like how they mobile suits were made,cause of the EA asking Orb to help produce said weapons and why they agreed,cause some people on top wants to join the EA and other things and the only the our mc ask was to keep the redframe and food and shelter which the Zaft soldiers can provide if our mc helps them take the last G weapon out or catch it

Back with Mc

"They gave me room to stay which is good"

Our mc took a very deep breath and began to panic,as he originally thought the scenario he was in was just a dream,but now it has become his reality and yhe thing that did it was when he appeared naked without waking up after that like he normally does

After panicking our mc got use to situation as he needs suck it up get through this situation at least there is an upside which is mobile suit battles,but there are downside as well as our mc might die in battle.

Outside the room

Rau just return from fighting the strike and mobeus zero when he got back to his quarters he receive a notification about 5 other mobile suits and an unknown pilot.
The engineers that wrote the report says the ms and parts that came along with pilot would help increase the rate of understanding about the G weapons beam technology as well as anti-beam coating as the shields are coated in something that lowers beam efficiency.

With pilots


"What do you think of the new machines that were broughg in by our new guest" Nicol asked

"Hm,I don't know,but they look a lot like the G weapons and base on what the report said that they were Orb's prototype machines before our guest brought them to us, the specs on these are far greater then Ginns and even the Cgues and by comparing the specs of the G weapons and the Astrays the specs of both machiens are more less equal with the onky thing helping the G weapons being the Phase Shift Armor" Yzak replied

"still it doesn't change the fact that we're still missing one more of those G weapons" Miguel said angrily

"So what do you rhink of this Athrun" Dearka asked

"We just need to get the last one and with the help of these new weapons we can retrieve them"Athrun said

Finally back with the Mc

'I'm now done with my freak-out and it's time to meet with the captain hope i can some how convince him not to betray Zaft' Mc

Mc began moving around and arrived at the captain quarters

"You ordered to see me sir" Mc

"Yes, so tell me more about the astrays and how you came upon them" Rau ask

"Luck I guess as while running away I found a hanger of where the machines are somehow got inside one of them" Mc

"I see and do you know why I'm asking even though I already know this cause of the report from the interrogation" Rau

"To Double check something sir" Mc

"Yes,and now to make sure you're someone we can trust we will have you join us in our next mission aquire the last G weapon do you agree to joining the mission" Rau

"Yes sir"Mc

"Good be ready at ms hanger with 30 minutes" Rau

"Yes Sir" Mc

Mc began moving back to his quarters to pee and make his game face on
Mc began moving to hanger when he bump to the ms pilots of the ship

"Hm, you're the pilot to the new machine right it's called Astray right" Miguel asked
"yeah"Mc

"So what can it do" Miguel

"Hm, I don't know yet,but i think I can do as well as what the one(pointing at the Duel)over there can do minus the weird coloring thing"Mc

"Make sure you don't hold us back" Miguel

"okay" mc

The group went to their respective machines.

Launching mobile suits now!!!

The machines launched and are now re-entering the colony to capture or destroy the strike.

Inside the colony

The Strike equipped with sword strike launch

"Ready aim fire" Mc

The Redframe fire a shot at the strike. the strike blocked it with it's shield,but the Redframe keeps on firing at it. the strike is trying to dodge and block the beams.
The Ginns and the repaired Cgue are now busy trying to overwhelm the Archangel

At the Archangel

"Is the mobius zero ready yet or no" Muerre

"No ,the pods needs to refitted and refuel and gun needs to filled up as well" soldier

"Err,men keep firing and try to take down the Mobile suits"muerre

"what is that new machine"Mu and everyone that can see the screen

Back in the Battle Field

"Why do you keep on moving just stay still" Mc

The Redframe is still buay going on long range combat as the sword strike is formidable in close range,cause of it's sword
The Ginns are busy trying to get a shot in while dodging the rain bullets and beams being fired.

The Cgue is just standing by to observe the Redframe and Strike's battle

Back at the Zaft ship

"Athrun what are you doing ,get back here" engineer

Athrun begin moving to the Aegis to assist in catching the Strike as he doesn't want his friend Kira to die

The Aegis launch is now entering the colony

Back at the colony

"why is this guy being so persistent and why can't I even get close, I need to look for any long range weapons on this" Kira

The strike threw it's beam boomerang

"Now he decides to use his long range weapons" Mc

Beep

"What" Mc

"I'll be assisting you to capture the last G weapon" Athrun

"Sure,keep him busy so I can get a shot at his head and arms" Mc

"Roger" Athrun

The Aegis begins firing it's own beam rifle at the strike, The strike is getting bit overwhelmed as two mobile suits firing at with it's onky defensive tool being a small shield is causing it to get hit more

"This is it" Mc

The Redframe begins accelerating at the strike while firing at with the Aegis when suddenly the Redframe throws it's sheild and beam rifle at th strike to cover it's vision.
The Redframe reveals it's beam sabers and using it's right arm to cut the right arm of the strike that is carrying it's sword ,then suddenly it went up to try and cut the head off.

"Nononononono, I'm not going to die " Kira

The grab the shield that was thrown at to block the beam. The Redframe back off to collect it's beam rifle while firing back its cwis at it.
The Aegis begins moving closer to the Strike. The strike throw the shield at the Aegis to try and give itself more room so it can grab it's sword. The Aegis transforms and reveals it's MA mode and grabs the strike.

"Okay I grab my gun and shield. Lucky me Kira threw and it fell right near me. Better go back to the battle" Mc

"interesting no time to enjoy the show it's time to attack" Rau
The Cgue finally started moving and begin assaulting the archangel.

Back with Athrun and Kira

"Kira please, please give up I don't want to kill you" Athrun

"Athrun , I can't my friends are on that ship"Kira

"Kira ,after this over I'll talk with Captain Rau to see if we can get you friends out, but please Kira please give up now Kira please" Athrun

"I..I will,but please promise to make sure it happens" Kira

"I will" Athrun

Inside the archangel

"The strike is captured,is the mobius zero ready or no" Muerre

"it is but not mangazine is only 40% full"engineer

"That's more then enough I have to save the kid"Mu

Mobius Zero launch with only the bare essential weaponry and ammo.

"This filling Mu you're here" Rau

"Rau where are you" Mu

The Cgue immediately began attacking the Mobius Zero

Back with Mc

"Athrun,did you get the strike pilot to turn of his machine so we go or no,cause I have my shot line up and I can it now"Mc

"No need I'll get him to turn help me bring him back to the ship" Athrun

"Sure,but he blows his machine I'll blame you"Mc

The Aegis and the Astray with the damage strike and parts are now moving back to the ship
While flying back MC's machine spotted a life boat

"Athrun, should I get that thing it's not moving and stuff" Mc

"N...,You should after we return back to the ship" Athrun

Back with Cgue

The Cgue and Mobius zero are neck and neck with the gun barrels of the zero giving an edge for Mu,but higher mobility of the Cgue it's making it hard for Mu to aim an accurate shot at it.

Back with Archangel

"We just lost the strike"Natarle

"Damn it,Men!!,start moving we need to get the strike back now"Muerre

Back in the Zaft ship

Kira got off the strike and was place in guest quarters,while that happened the engineers begin studying the strike as fast as possible.

The Redframe is being refuel and prep for a second take off.

Mobile Suit Launch

"I'm back refueled and restock so now I'm gonna go back and fight Mu" mc
The Redframe arrived at the scene and began assisting the Cgue by giving support fire and destroying some of the barrel pods.

"Sir when are you going to ask for them to surrender,as there most be more stuff for the G weapons aboard the ship"Mc

"I'll do it after making sure there is no chance for them to fight back" Rau

"Ok, I'll try and destroy more of the turrets"Mc

The Redframe changed targets and started targeting the archangel's turrets and missile pods

"The new machine is now heading to the archangel" crew of the archangel

"Ok, I'm getting close,but those turrets are quite durable better use my beam sabers" Mc

The Redframe began slashing the turrets ,while the Ginns act as a distraction.

"We're losing turrets and guns from 4,6,7,8 and missle pods 6,3 and 2 and counting"Soldier

The Cgue and Mobius Zero are busy fighting it out ,but with Zero's badly repaired pods and meager fuel and battery levels the fight is looking more and more that the Zero will lose.

The Redframe while slashing and dashing around the archangel, found an opening to slashed open the main cabin.

Mu watched in horror that he couldn't protect the crew,but during that moment of hesitation Rau slice his Zero in half.

The only weird or lucky thing that happened to both machines is that pilot and the crew of the Mobius Zero and Archangel are alive.

"Sir,I have my reifle in isight for the kill will you asked then to surrender yes or no" Mc

"Hm, we'll give them the choice ro surrender or not, Miguel and Andrew assist the Redframe in handling the crew while I contact our crew and the Archangel's" Rau

The Astray and Ginns are busy making sure the crew won't do anything ,while Rau ordered more people from the ships to capture the crew and the ship.

The Zaft soldiers come in the ship and began taking more and more of the EA soldiers in handcuffs and even Mu the Mobius Zero pilot as well.

The Engineers began fixing the damages made to the ship. Captain Rau gave Mc permission to fly around and while doing so he found again the space pod and sent a message to get permission bring it back or not, luckily for the people in the pod Rau gave permission after the video of the pod was sent and received after discovering the pod is malfunctioning and prevents it from moving away from here.

The engineers after making sure everything is set asked Mc to direct them to thd place where the astrays were created,they went gathered as much data as possible and gather more and more spare parts and other equipment available after aftermath of the attack.The pod of refugees were shock and scared for their lives,but luckily Athurn promise them that they can stay with The Plants til after war is over or after Orb answers to what they made.The three ships moved to the Plants​

 

[Cap'nSmurfy]

Fix your grammer, this is borderline illegible. Just because you warn us doesn't mean it's ok.

 

[a guy1013]

Last time

Our Mc went and chose a side to defeat the archangel and her crew and now the only thing left is to go to The PLANTS

At the ships

'There is nothing to do besides waiting,but on the upside I got my prize written on paper which is my Redframe plus some upgrades for my ms and a job in Zaft so I can keep fighting'Mc

Mc began walking around the ship to help past the time when he bump into one of the refugees from Refugees is a kid and her mom

"yo,so how is the status of being a refugee"Mc

"Why did you attack the Orb colony Heliotopolis"Refugee woman

"Don't ask me ask the guy wearing the mask so bye"Mc

Mc walks away towards Rau ,so he can ask how long till we can get to the PLANTS

Time passes

The ship finally docked at one of the bases of Z.A.F.T. the name don't know and don't care cause my main problem now is somehow getting a job here at the PLANTS.

They ordered everyone who piloted the the suits from the colony will give a presentation about what the suits can do.

The council ask me to help explain the suits.
After explaining the suits capabilities plus which aspects should be prioritize for max production capability. They let me go after rewarding for the assist in handling the suits and the EA force station at the neutral colony.

The rewards are keeping the redframe and it being upgraded to be compatible with both Zaft and G-weapon's weapon and other things to help it fight better and some credits to spend and a place to stay in the PLANTS.

The council had another meeting about what to do with the refugees.

The council decision is to keep the refugees at the PLANTS,til Orb answers to what happend at Heliotopolis and why there are G-weapons and military personnel that belong to the EA(Earth Alliance)

I have time to kill so better look around the colony and the house the council gave me.
I looked around my residence and it seems I have multiple tablets in the residence,where there is at least one attach per room.

I grab some some food that is in the fridge and leave for some touring around the colony.
I looked around and see nothing is different here compared to what on earth except I can't find a single hobby shop not even a Mecha model kits hobby shop so I can build gunpla inside a Gundam universe.

I arrived back to my new residence waiting for a new mission or something as my only current skill set is mobile suit piloting as of right now. I should try getting new skills till the council decides on what to do with me like cooking.
MC beings watching online tutorials of cooking videos.

The engineers

"The technology of the ship and the mobile suits far exceed our own suits and ship,so how the hell did those naturals made these."Head engineer

"Hm,since the suits and the ship were made in an Orb colony by an Orb corporation we can deduce they use coordinators as well as naturals to make them" Engineer

"Hm, damnit we need to reverse engineer these puppies quick if we want to win the war against those natural scum"Engineers

The council

The council discuss on what to do with the information and evidence that showed Orb is truly not a neutral nation ,but allying with the EA (Earth alliance),the main problem is nlthar the council is dividend between the pro-war camp leader by councilor Zala ,while the pacifist camp is lead by Chancellor Clyne and normally most meetings end with the chancellor winning,but sadly for him the pro-war camp gain new members via the neutral camp joining Zala's side ,since the new weapons brought them to see a new light.

weeks pass

The council debates and discussions about what to do barely change except that Zala is getting more and more support from other council members and from the citizens of PLANTS.

The engineers finally finish reverse engineering the data and the tech from mobile suits and ship from the Orb colony.

The mirage coloid system of the blitz is the most important find I'm the entire mission on the Orb colony ,since the ability to go invisible in most detection system is a great gift to any side of a war for spying and surprise attacks,but sadly the battery drain is still the main issue ,but putting it on a ship the battery drain won't be as servers if you put it on a mobile suit.

The next generation of mass production mobile suits gain numerous advancements with the strike,duel, buster and the astrays ,more generic weapons and other accessories needed for adaptation in other specialized fields in combat.
The ships gain new advancements as well ,since the capture of the archangel , ships can launch and enter the Earth is slowly coming to mass production.

Now back to our Mc

"I'm bored, I check the engineers and red frame is still not yet ready for a test run,they must still be up trying to understand or implement the tech from the things from the colony,but why haven't been called for anything like a council on what to do with Orb,since people think I'm a defector from Orb"MC

suddenly MC heard his door bell rang

Mc looked and saw Athrun Zala.

"So what type of mission or summon needs an in person delivery"Mc

"a confidential one"Athrun

"which is ?"Mc

"will you accept first before the debrief"Athrun

"sure if I can get my red frame in order for the mission sure"Mc

"the mission is to locate and find Lacus Clyne, she's been missing since her ship and party was lost for the memorial of the Bloody Valentine's ,and we need to find the her or her body now"Athrun
"sure let's go"Mc

The duo left to the docks to launch

a few days later

The team arrives to find nothing ,but the remains of a ship and one life pod.

The crew retrieve the pod and discovered Lacus is alive and well.

The mission is a success,but they still need to gather the remains of the ship to figure out what happened to cause it.

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
I thought people will start writing more Gundam seed self insert fics,but it turns out I'm wrong

 

[Rakaan]

Providing a warning in the title about bad grammar is pretty much a giant neon sign warning people away. It also implies that you are aware of your flaws as a writer, which is a good thing.

However, it also implies that, rather than seeking to improve yourself, you've given up and just put up the aforementioned sign. If that is not your intent, I'd implore you to just read your chapters carefully before posting (spell-check, proof-reading, maybe getting a friend to proof-read too, etc) maybe even read some science-fiction novels and taking note of how they're narrative flows from one idea to another.

However, if you actually didn't intend to do anything about your grammar, I'd actually implore you to not post at all.

Your chapters read as a series of short summaries, with opportunities to flesh out characters via dialogue and their interactions with one another are ignored entirely and a simple "Mc" or name of the character following their lines. These are places where you could have showed body-language, facial expressions, etc.

There's actually little I can provide as constructive criticism because, frankly, all the alarming flaws should already be obvious to anyone who's picked up and read a book.

If English is a second or third language, I apologize if I sound overly critical, but you may want to read some English stories (science-fiction would probably do you well given the genre of the fanfic) to gain some idea of how it should be.

If English is your first language, I hope to God you're just some kid who doesn't know any better, because those two chapters were fucking horrific.

 

[a guy1013]

Last time

Mc got his rewards and some time pass so now he is on a mission
The crew download and recovered the data and parts of the ship, and found out a natural ship attacked the vessel , hoping to kidnap Lacus Clyne.
The Ship and crew flew back to the PLANTS.

The Council receive the data and footage and with that the neutral faction of the council decides to join the pro-war faction as the footage and data shows that the EA is willing to attack a civilian vessel for mourning the dead on the Bloody Valentine's anniversary.

The Council goes for a vote of no confidence with Chancellor Clyne as he still doesn't want to escalate the war ,then the Council selects Zala to become the new Chancellor.

Back with our Mc

Mc is busy cooking food base on this world's anime where there are some anime that are identical to his old world.

"I'm so bored ,but at least now I can cook good food and the dishwasher here is great "Mc

Mc starts eating his food ,then suddenly a ping

"huh ,so I'm getting a new mission, better finish my food "Mc

Mc begins running towards the mission Bay just in time for the briefing.

"Our mission is to take down or take over the Artemis base and push an offensive towards the natural's moon base and with the new machines and technology we obtain we can easily accomplish the mission " Commander
we begin to prepare to set out

Orb refugee zone

Athrun Zala has been trying for the pass few days to regain his friendship with the boy known as Kira Yamato

the boy known as Kira Yamato is facing his own demons one of which is him giving up on his second sortie as a mobile suit pilot cause ,as the natural known as Flair keeps screaming at him for not beating the coordinators. the rest of his friends who were with him on the ground keeps assuring him that he did that best he can do.

mobile suit testing facility

the GUAIZ which was supposed to be release a week after the fall or Heliopolis colony, got push back as to integrate the technologies of the Duel , Buster and the Strike for possible augmented equipment further down the line, the estimated timeframe for a prototype will be within a month or so while a finalize design will be built after further testing of the prototype on the field.
the GINNs and other mobile suits currently deployed will be outfitter with beam base weapons as soon as possible within the coming weeks as reverse engineering the guns and beam sabers will be far easier to do then compared to building a new mobile suit design.

the ships has arrive near the Artemis base

"Finally here ,so what are gonna do" Mc

"we'll wait for further orders as we need to figure out how long can the battery of the Blitz can last while being invisible" Nicol

the men walk down the to the briefing room

"Phase 1 of the Plan is launching the Blitz first to destroy the energy emitters then after which phase 2 will begin by launching the Astray and 4 GINNs to take down any mobile armor deployed by the base while the battle is going phase 3 is sending squads of personal to take over the base" Captain

"men time to deploy" Captain

the Blitz landed successfully with time to spare as it was launch with the help of using rockets attached asteroid help spend less battery life since most if not all the weapons the blitz are beam base ,which can take a toll on the battery. The Blitz began cutting down the emitters.

The Artemis base

" What, we're under attack, me sortie immediately now send everything we got push those god forsaken coordinators " Natural Captain

Mobile armors being launch in mass as 1 mobile suit can take down 10 or mobile armors while it takes 5 mobile armors working together to even take down a single GINN

"Finally, its time to pilot Red, but still why couldn't the higher ups let me play with Red in my off-time" Mc

Astray began shooting down the mobile armors, while the GINNs add cover fire to slow down and limit the movement of the Mobile armor.
The Artemis base

"we're in, repeat we're in" zaft soldier

the amount of staff in the base is lower then most bases as the Artemis base doesn't provide anything to the natural aside from knowing they got something over the coordinators and with the lack of any attacks recently most of the forces were move to more active points in the war.

The zaft soldier began clearing and taking down the naturals .since they are better built and faster then their natural counterparts.

back in space

Astray and the GINNs are doing their part in keeping the naturals too busy to notice that their base is already compromise and their commanders are slowly being taken down.

"that was quick, huh, so I still need to wait for more exiting battles this body and machine is already changing my mindset of fighting as before i would be to lazy to do anything, but now I'm pushing myself here to see how far I can go "Mc

the mission was over with little lost of life in the Zaft side.

the ship was tasked to now manned to the base for a time period so Zaft engineers can study the tech, thankfully not all the emitters were destroyed, which cause great sadness to the mc as he left food in his room back on the PLANTs

Back to the council

"we need a sure fire way to make sure the naturals stop trying to attack us" counsel member 1

"we can either build stronger mobile suits that can destroy an entire armada by itself or create a super weapon that can rival the nukes use on Julius 7" engineer

"are you mad we shouldn't stoop to the natural's level" counsel member 2

"no, we need to as the naturals can never by just talking look what they did to Julius 7 and their attempt in kidnapping Lacus Clynne ,its better we made these deterrents, but work first on creating the mobile suit first as it will be a better symbol to those naturals that we are superior to them, but still work on the designs for the weapon you have in mind" Chairman Zala

"are you serious Zala, this will bring the budget deficit higher then ever" counsel member 3

"I am, as we need a strong push to win the war by huge margin as winning the war without that margin will just give the naturals belief that they can beat us" Chairman Zala

"so be it, I agree with Zala as I was talking with one of our prisoners and they used children from another country to support them ,so we need to stop these naturals at all cost and it help bring my boy home" counsel member 4

"all in favor" counsel member 5

1,Zala,4,5 raise their hands

"all oppose" counsel member 6

2,3,6 raise their hands

the motion passed

00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

I was busy reading stuff and playing to update anything ,but since I believe I'm the only one making story like this i should at least give an update and again to those who have read this you are far stronger then me or anyone as the pain would be to great