Chapter 33: A Career Decision
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DarkDestroyer
The Destroyer Of Worlds
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I slam down a PADD on to my desk in frustration and get push myself away and up from it. Sonya is startled by my sudden outburst.
"What's wrong?" she asks
"I'm what's wrong. I apologize for the sudden outburst. But I'm not getting any of this." I admit as I rub my temples
"You will eventually, this is just all new to you." she tries to comfort
"I appreciate the vote of confidence Sonya, but I'm not going to get this. I've barely been getting by. I KNOW how to push buttons. I've heard Geordi say it a million times as a joke, 12 Monkey's and a Chimp could operate the Enterprise. The tech in this century is literally fool proof. I can get buy on pushing buttons. But I'm not getting any of the formulas. I'm not getting any of the science. I knew this would be a problem. I had to take alternate Math courses in high school just to cover the bare minimum credit requirements because most of it goes over my head....and my teachers were frustrated because they all saw the potential in me. I never applied myself. Which is hilarious because now, when I'm putting in one hundred percent effort and focus, into something I want BADLY...I realize that I'm just not going to cut it." I slam my hand against the bulkhead
Sonya gets up and comforts me.
"This has happened to every Cadet and NCO since Starfleet was incorporated. I assure you with time..."
"Sonya I appreciate the pep talk, I really do. But this is not about time or effort. This is about not being the best. All of you on this ship, are the BEST. The very best this Fleet has to offer and I am not on that same wave length. I believe I can contribute though. It just might be through a different way. Excuse me."
"Where are you going?"
"To see the head of security." I wink back at her and she has a disappointing expression on her face
I make way to Worf's security office with is adjacent to the Brig on Deck 4, which also is where the Armory is located along with Transporter Room 1. Worf happens to be inside doing paper work.
"Sir? May I speak with you if you've a minute?" I ask him
Worf looks up, looking terribly pleased to be interrupted from doing paper work for however long he's been doing it.
"What is it you wish to speak of?" he asks
"I was just with Ensign Gomez and had a...difficult epiphany. I'm struggling with all of this." I imply my studies in general to which Worf frowns
"I have been keeping up to date on Commander Riker's evaluation, you have been getting passing grades." he replies
"I know...so far. But the science Worf, I'm struggling with the science. That's with having Wesley Crusher and Sonya Gomez tutoring me daily on stuff. Two of the smartest people that I have ever encountered in my life, of which I include my best friend back home. It's not a teaching thing either. They're both equally wonderful teachers, Wes especially. I'm just not getting it. I am here to make a request of you." I explain
Worf picking up on my meaning quickly knows what I'm about to ask before I ask.
"You wish to join security." he replies and I nod
"Yes sir. I feel out of all the major departments, it is the one that I can best excel in." I reply seriously
This time Worf leans back in his chair and studies me for a few minutes. They feel like an eternity.
"You do understand that it will not be easy, and I do not...play...favourites." he finally answers
"I understand sir."
"I will be evaluating your progress under the same scrutiny as Commander Riker, and Counsellor Troi have been." he states
"I understand sir, and wouldn't expect anything less."
"It will be difficult, Adam...especially the physical part. Are you prepared for the pain?" he asks dropping his voice an octave. He knows about my foot of course
"I'm prepared for anything you throw at me sir." I say a little over confidently
"Very well. Then you will report for detail at 07:00 tomorrow morning. I do not tolerate lateness as you know."
"Yes sir. Thank you sir. I won't let you down." I reply and get up and leave, I hear a quiet harrumph from Worf as his door shuts. Doubt.
I come back to my quarters and Sonya is sitting on my couch, arms crossed over her chest. Christy is sitting next her with the same expression.
"Oh Hi honey." I say as I walk gingerly towards the couch. This can't be good for me.
"So how did it go with Worf?" Sonya asks
"And when were you planning on telling me about this major decision in your life?" Christy asks
"Uhhhh...when you got home from work...which is now, and it went fine." I reply as I sit down next to them
"Why are you doing this? You know it's going to be torture on your foot, not to mention the rest of your body?" Christy asks as she gets up and walks over to sit next to me
I turn to her.
"Sweetheart, I've already been torturing my body over this schedule the last few months. I'm not cut out for this....science stuff. Security at least gives me a shot. I know I can tolerate the pain. The hypo--"
"It will be a grind Adam. Maybe you should have waited until after your foot surgery." Christy says
"I agree." Sonya
The doubt from everyone is hurting me now.
"Look. I Know what I'm doing. I know what I can't do. At least this gives me a chance. I know what to expect from Worf. But I also know that he will give me a fair shot, and I'm willing to put myself through that in order to get what I want. If I fail this...I don't know what I'd do with myself otherwise."
"You're so dramatic. You'll be fine." Christy says as the two of them chuckle at my expense
This has given me a new purpose and something to prove to everyone that I can do.
I slam down a PADD on to my desk in frustration and get push myself away and up from it. Sonya is startled by my sudden outburst.
"What's wrong?" she asks
"I'm what's wrong. I apologize for the sudden outburst. But I'm not getting any of this." I admit as I rub my temples
"You will eventually, this is just all new to you." she tries to comfort
"I appreciate the vote of confidence Sonya, but I'm not going to get this. I've barely been getting by. I KNOW how to push buttons. I've heard Geordi say it a million times as a joke, 12 Monkey's and a Chimp could operate the Enterprise. The tech in this century is literally fool proof. I can get buy on pushing buttons. But I'm not getting any of the formulas. I'm not getting any of the science. I knew this would be a problem. I had to take alternate Math courses in high school just to cover the bare minimum credit requirements because most of it goes over my head....and my teachers were frustrated because they all saw the potential in me. I never applied myself. Which is hilarious because now, when I'm putting in one hundred percent effort and focus, into something I want BADLY...I realize that I'm just not going to cut it." I slam my hand against the bulkhead
Sonya gets up and comforts me.
"This has happened to every Cadet and NCO since Starfleet was incorporated. I assure you with time..."
"Sonya I appreciate the pep talk, I really do. But this is not about time or effort. This is about not being the best. All of you on this ship, are the BEST. The very best this Fleet has to offer and I am not on that same wave length. I believe I can contribute though. It just might be through a different way. Excuse me."
"Where are you going?"
"To see the head of security." I wink back at her and she has a disappointing expression on her face
I make way to Worf's security office with is adjacent to the Brig on Deck 4, which also is where the Armory is located along with Transporter Room 1. Worf happens to be inside doing paper work.
"Sir? May I speak with you if you've a minute?" I ask him
Worf looks up, looking terribly pleased to be interrupted from doing paper work for however long he's been doing it.
"What is it you wish to speak of?" he asks
"I was just with Ensign Gomez and had a...difficult epiphany. I'm struggling with all of this." I imply my studies in general to which Worf frowns
"I have been keeping up to date on Commander Riker's evaluation, you have been getting passing grades." he replies
"I know...so far. But the science Worf, I'm struggling with the science. That's with having Wesley Crusher and Sonya Gomez tutoring me daily on stuff. Two of the smartest people that I have ever encountered in my life, of which I include my best friend back home. It's not a teaching thing either. They're both equally wonderful teachers, Wes especially. I'm just not getting it. I am here to make a request of you." I explain
Worf picking up on my meaning quickly knows what I'm about to ask before I ask.
"You wish to join security." he replies and I nod
"Yes sir. I feel out of all the major departments, it is the one that I can best excel in." I reply seriously
This time Worf leans back in his chair and studies me for a few minutes. They feel like an eternity.
"You do understand that it will not be easy, and I do not...play...favourites." he finally answers
"I understand sir."
"I will be evaluating your progress under the same scrutiny as Commander Riker, and Counsellor Troi have been." he states
"I understand sir, and wouldn't expect anything less."
"It will be difficult, Adam...especially the physical part. Are you prepared for the pain?" he asks dropping his voice an octave. He knows about my foot of course
"I'm prepared for anything you throw at me sir." I say a little over confidently
"Very well. Then you will report for detail at 07:00 tomorrow morning. I do not tolerate lateness as you know."
"Yes sir. Thank you sir. I won't let you down." I reply and get up and leave, I hear a quiet harrumph from Worf as his door shuts. Doubt.
I come back to my quarters and Sonya is sitting on my couch, arms crossed over her chest. Christy is sitting next her with the same expression.
"Oh Hi honey." I say as I walk gingerly towards the couch. This can't be good for me.
"So how did it go with Worf?" Sonya asks
"And when were you planning on telling me about this major decision in your life?" Christy asks
"Uhhhh...when you got home from work...which is now, and it went fine." I reply as I sit down next to them
"Why are you doing this? You know it's going to be torture on your foot, not to mention the rest of your body?" Christy asks as she gets up and walks over to sit next to me
I turn to her.
"Sweetheart, I've already been torturing my body over this schedule the last few months. I'm not cut out for this....science stuff. Security at least gives me a shot. I know I can tolerate the pain. The hypo--"
"It will be a grind Adam. Maybe you should have waited until after your foot surgery." Christy says
"I agree." Sonya
The doubt from everyone is hurting me now.
"Look. I Know what I'm doing. I know what I can't do. At least this gives me a chance. I know what to expect from Worf. But I also know that he will give me a fair shot, and I'm willing to put myself through that in order to get what I want. If I fail this...I don't know what I'd do with myself otherwise."
"You're so dramatic. You'll be fine." Christy says as the two of them chuckle at my expense
This has given me a new purpose and something to prove to everyone that I can do.
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