I changed my mind. Pirate Kings are *not* cool.
My uncle had tried to make any form of agreement with the Volantenes that remained here in the Stepstones. It probably would have been smart of them to have done it, considering that these islands are getting the Tysha treatment from everyone around and that Volantis proper is fighting half of Essos. But they didn´t, unfortunately. So my dearest Uncle decided to try his luck with the many, *many*, Pirate Kings that popped up. Only one of them had enough grey matter to consider it, a Lyseni freak named Lysandro Saan. Daemon Velaryon''plan'' is pretty much to hand control of the Stepstones to this guy and in exchange he´d give a bunch of trade concessions and not attack Velaryon ships and blah blah blah, I DO NOT COUNT COPPERS!
You might ask yourself, why not just *take* the Islands? Well, because of the fact they´re completely worthless outside of the fact they´re in a convenient spot for commerce, and they are hard to hold for long periods of time. If this random pirate is willing to do the hard and costly job of holding them, while also giving access to the trade money that Daemon actually wanted, why not just give it to him? Installing friendly regimes in places is hardly a new practice. I mean, if you need a regime change, just tell the USA there´s oil in your territory, and that you´re not willing to sell it. You will be democratically liberated in a heartbeat.
So this pirate guy, he has 60 hips in his pirate fleet. That is not as big as it might seem, since these ships are mostly stolen cogs, carracks, and some Longships, much smaller than my uncle´s Warships. But it is still a ridiculous amount for a pirate, he could probably rival the fleet of some small Essosi city-states with these numbers. Yikes.
So, I naturally built up an image of this guy. I didn´t expect much, but man, I was disappointed. Though at least the rumors that this dude spoke in the third person were false, he is just very prideful. I swear to god if he started each sentence with his own name instead of saying ''I'', he´d get to know Shrykos from the inside because I am not tolerating that level of cringe near me.
He and his pirate fleet landed here in Bloodstone today. The pirates that crewed his ships came from all corners of the world, though most seemed either summer islander or Lyseni, I could spot a few Ghiscari, an Ironborn or two, and even a guy from Ibben. Pretty cool to be honest. It reminds me that Planetos is genuinely immense, not just Westeros, the free cities, and Slaver´s Bay as the main book series would have you believe.
My uncle, Ser Jacaerys, and I were watching these pirates slowly disembark. The fact i am included in the official greeting is quite hilarious, to be honest. Any sane person would not allow a child near a slave-trading pirate. Because, oh yeah, he´s an Essosi pirate. Of course, he dabbles in the slave trade. Fucking degenerate.
But that is the one thing I can give to my Uncle Daemon. He is completely anti-Slavery and has set all the slaves that the Volantenes kept here free. He has not forced them to labor for him afterward, though most choose to do so, and they all get paid for their work. So yeah, my uncle has done one good thing with his invasion. One of his conditions to MR Lysandro here is no more slave trading. That´s genuinely a good deed, Nice Job Daemon Velaryon, you could have sucked harder as a person.
Said freed slaves looked at the pirate fleet with hatred, they´d probably been brought here in the first place by ships like these and i do think that is a reasonable justification for grudge-holding. Very reasonable
When Saan finally did come out of the ship, my disappointment was immeasurable and my day was ruined. He wore a turban and some fine Essosi clothes, my guy looked more like a merchant than a pirate. He was slim, tan and old-looking. Not really muscled, he was also the smiley type. What did not disappoint me was the fact this dude had an actual pipe for smoking. It´s a rarity here in Planetos, only the summer islanders seem to have it for some reason. Still, when I imagine pirates, I´d imagine someone like Euron, Victarion, or maybe even Dalton Red Kraken. Not...this guy... this guy is Captain Crack Sparrow without the charm.
It took him exactly 5 minutes of walking to finally get near us and actually begin speaking. ''Lord Velaryon.''
''Saan.'' My uncle replied drily. The pirate pointed at the pipe he had ''You should try this Lord Velaryon , i cam guarantee it will make you feel things you never even imagined were possible.''
''I appreciate the offer, however, I would prefer if we could cut the pleasantries.''
The pirate laughed ''You Westerosi are always in such a hurry. Well , he who hurries through life hurries to his grave...'' He turned to look at little *me* ''And you little boy, who would you be ?''
''Daeron, of the House Targaryen. Rider of the Dragon Shrykos.'' I tried to sound intimidating because well...i didn´t want this guy near me but, alas, an 8-year-old cannot sound very scary now, can he?
The pirate chuckled a bit ''So many titles for a boy so small.'' He smoked the pipe a bit ''Would *you* like some of this ?''
Wait a minute...
this smell...
I know what it is...
This motherfucker´s a Stoner.
What has my life become? Being turned into an SI for a character that isn´t even supposed to exist was weird, being a war crime enthusiast with a fantasy B-52 Bomber was even weirder, but now I am a child soldier getting offered weed by a fucking Pirate king.
Can we get much higher?
''No,'' I replied as curtly as possible. My mother might have raised a freak, but not a Stoner. Lysandro Saan put his hand on my shoulder ''Are you sure boy? I promise it´s wonderful.''
''Do not touch my nephew'' Uncle Daemon hissed. Thank you, uncle, thank you so much. Lysandro Saan thankfully backed off. ''Don´t worry for your nephew near Lysandro Saan. I can promise you that he will not be sold to the Brothels in Lys , Slavery will no longer have a place in the Stepstones under the rule of Lysandro Saan.'' The guy squinted his eyes and muttered ''Though he would have fetched a good price...''
JESUS CHRIST.
''Let us speak in my Solar.'' My uncle said sweating ''I will be sure to provide you with accomodations.''
Ser Jacaerys stepped forward ''Follow me and I will take you to them'' He said drily. The pirate king shrugged and followed after him.
''Uncle.''
''Nephew.''
''He touched me in the shoulder.''
''Yes.''
''I need a bath.''
''Yes.''
...
My shoulder is finally good enough for riding, and Uncle Daemon alongside Captain Cannabis have finally decided to attack another of the Stepstone islands, so I get to use some more fantasy napalm on (mostly) Helpless soldiers. Noice. Shrykos is already making giddy dragon noises and i haven´t even gotten started.
The island we are about to attack is called ''Torturers deep.'' Which brings up a levy of questions, the most important of these being ''What the fuck happened here for a place to be named after torturers? I am quite...concerned to be honest, maybe a proto-Ramsay Bolton lived here? Or Valyrian blood experiment shenanigans ? Either way , knowing GRRM, it is probably something extremely disturbing that somehow involves copious amounts of violence, Rape and Incest all at once. Because that´s just how his writing works when you think about it hard enough.
This island could be a slightly tougher nut to crack. It´s full of rocky hills , caves, and narrow passageways for guerrilla fighting as the Crabfeeder did to Daemon. But the troops here are, thankfully, commanded by a Moron named Nyessos Vhassar. Coming from one of those long noble lineages, this guy got all their pride, but none of their wit. That´s on top of just generally being a 19-year-old trying to kickstart a political career by being a glory hound.
Case and point: Instead of taking all the supplies and abandoning the keep, this dude decided to stay holed up there. Well, that´s not entirely true, he also sent some soldiers to ''Ambush'' Uncle Daemon´s army by hitting them from above.
Normally, this would be a great idea, It´s much easier for his troops to hit ours from above than ours to hit his from below. And there aren´t really many other safe paths here in Torturer´s deep that can´t be exploited like this.
Unfortunately for him, these are not normal circumstances. I have a Dragon. I can fly and hit his extremely exposed troops who really should have known better and just mutinied.
Whelp.
War crime blast
Shrykos Lit them up real quick, at this point I feel that I have just gotten used to the smell of burned bodies, but that does not mean i have gotten tired of it. the smell does genuinely remind me of Barbeque, and I want MOAR.
I am perfectly stable.
Our march through the island and to the castle only took two days, we suffered some small night raids, but the Pirates of Lysandro Saan were ready for it. Probably because Pirates should know how raiding works and are expecting it, I cannot complain about it, worked like a fucking charm!
Most of the Volantene raiders were killed in the fighting or the chase that came afterward, a very smell amount was captured...and subsequently used as target practice by the Pirates of Lysandro Saan after being tied up. The pirates must have had some form of Aim bot , because they rarely missed and they always aimed at the dick.
Oof. Not the dick, that´s a low move bro, literally.
...
''Holy moly, that´s a lot of scorpions''
Those were my first thoughts when I saw the Volantene Stronghold. Our Army had encamped at the top of a hill at the distance of about a 20 minute horse ride from it. Uncle Daemon gave us all Myrish lenses to look at the thing from far away. Except for me, I had to share with Captain Crack.
It had 4 tall stone walls, on top of those walls were well, a shit ton of scorpions.
I can see that Uncle Daemon is feeling a bit nervous at the prospect at throwing me at this thing because well...Dragons are quite tough, but uhm, hit the Wing membranes or the eyes and they´ll die. But then again , the strengh of Dragons is so inconsistent i don´t even know if Shrykos would be bothered by it at all. Caraxes was able to completely ignore Scorpion Bolts, but Vermax was killed by arrows. Syrax got axed by a peasant? I know that they are differently-sized
Dragons, but I find it absurd that an adult Dragon like Syrax could get killed by a fucking Axe.
Either way, I don´t care. By putting all these scorpions there this man is just challenging me. Challenging *me*. Well, here´s a tip: When you come at the champ, expect to lose. There is no way I will allow that type of provocation to without an answer, instead of running away in fear or feeling despair like a student at the last minute of a test, I will instead approach him. Because I ain´t no bitch and i don´t take shit unless I am forced to.
''That will be tough to assault my lord.'' Said Ser Jacaerys ''The walls are thick and Strong, we should repeat what we did at Bloodstone , let them keep their eyes on the Lad´s dragon while we climb the walls.''
My uncle sighed ''Could we not start a siege ?'' Lysandro Saan laughed .''There is no need for a siege, or for an assault friends....why, we will simply have them open the gates for us.''
My uncle looked confused and Jacaerys unamused ''Explain'' The knight asked ''Explain now.''
''The Volantenes must have hundreds of Slaves in that little castle. And we will...generously...abolish Slavery here in the Stepstones will we not? Perhaps if some brave soul were to go and say such things to the Slaves, promise them freedom and revenge against their masters...why, I am sure that they would love nothing more then to open these gates and let us in.''
''Aye'' Jacaerys conceded ''But we can hardly get inside the castle can we ?''
Lysandro Saan smoked his fucking weed with a smug expression before replying. What the fuck is my life? ''Perhaps not you Westerosi. Oh, your kind is so loud and blustering...but many of my crew were once Smugglers and Thieves in the Free Cities before, there are no walls that can keep them out whenever gold is involved...and besides, if it fails, so what? We lose 5 or so men and the enemy gains nothing.''
My uncle thought about it for a bit...''I give you leave. Do as you see fit.''
...
To say it worked would be an understatement. Lysandro Saan had some men get inside the Slave quarters and break the chains of a few , the Slaves whose chains had been broken would then go on and break the bindings for his pals and yeah...in half an hour the Garrison had suffered forms of Violence i didn´t even know were possible, i saw some shit that´s gonna haunt my mind forever. There was a guard with his balls cut off and stuffed inside his mouth. EWWWWW
But that´s not what matters. No, it´s not.
What matters is what happened when we captured the Garrison commander , that 19 year old glory hound.
Oh the Slaves wanted him torn apart but my uncle wanted him alive. His family was important in Volantis and well...hostages are good.
When he was brought to us in chains i saw that he had a sheated sword with the pommel in the shape of a tiger. At first i was just annoyed , i don´t find Tigers particularly interesting or cool. And the fact all the Volantenes use it as a symbol because of the dominance of the militaristic Tiger party in their politics.
But then i noticed a little detail : It was Valyrian Steel.
I was a huge DBZ fan in my first life , which means i watched the abridged Version , so my mind was screaming like Vegeta :
MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE
So i yoinked it.
Uncle Daemon was breathless when he saw it and tried to commit his own form of theft. He used a bajillion arguments, ranging from ''You are my ward and thus you cannot claim these things without my permission'', ''House Targaryen already has two Valyrian Steel swords, House Velaryon has none. Do you dear uncle a favor and let him keep it'' and finally ''I AM BEGGING ON MY KNEES GIVE IT TO ME''
Lysandro Saan as well tried to convince me to give it back , promising me ''a dose of the good stuff'' if i just handed him over the sword.
I said no.
When they grew insistent , Shrykos shut them up.
It´s actually kinda useless for me to have it , i am a mediocre swordsman at best and don´t plan on getting much better anytime soon. But a Valyrian Steel sword iss just something too cool to pass up . I´ll have to obviously have someone melt it down and reforge it with all Dragon-themed stuff because fuck tigers, and then give it a new name!
Man, i do suck with names. I´ll think of something later.