Questionable Questing

Andy333

Nice, thanks!

Andy333

I was about to ask you what you thought of it.

Bob is bob

So I notice you are making the emotions and personality of the character stick out

Bob is bob

She's got references to being an assassin, but it doesn't dominate her

Bob is bob

Her words are fake, but the Pov is clearly sympathetic and there is this blend of concern and exploitation I like

Bob is bob

I also enjoy how the focus on the sex with Midnight was based on her as a person responding to the MC. Reactivity, personal choice, that is what adds sparks. Too often I've seen fics where the girls are just sex dolls. There ain't nothing they add to the story. You could take them out and replace, and no change.

Bob is bob

I do think more sensory input would be good for describing erotic actions like the blowjob, the feel of her cock in Midnight's mouth, getting the simulated feedback.

I like how concise but complex the issues of the students and Midnight were. It added more connection to their core.

Andy333

Yeah, I thought about Midnight and how a lot of times in the Anime every time she flirts most people either get annoyed or embarrassed and I wondered what would happen if someone flirted back.

Bob is bob

Deku's issues with having to rely on Allmight and self destructive acceptance possibly being linked to a desire to be loved was interesting without saying Deku is bad or dumb for being who he is. And I like how the MC connected with Ochaco over how being Middle Class is a kind of limbo poverty

Bob is bob

I think a core theme to explore is relationship. MC has had hookers and strippers before. The students, Midnight, the student's moms, that has a rapport which creates a stronger and more invested binding that she wants more of. Booty call sex is limiting

Andy333

Also with Midnight what's interesting about her as a character is despite her ridiculous costume and being very perverted, is that she still does genuinely want to be a hero and she wants the respect that comes with it. For her these two things aren't contradictory. For her sexuality is something to be embraced rather than shamed.

Bob is bob

She's a perfect canidate to convince turning the students into sluts will make them more happy and confidant heroes

Bob is bob

Something to consider is contrast. An idea I'm floating with Jackal I want to try is having a negative mind controller mirror in the Reach when we get there. Someone who ruins and uses ugly barbaric mind control and body mods to torment. Creating a aura of misery.

Bob is bob

Take Deku, say door mat Deku or idol wins. There is still nuance to hsi agency, his ability to express and develop and respond. Where you can then create higher distinction by a contrast to a inverted shadow of this. A example of corrupted subject that violates the graident of ethics for even this fucked up relationship

Andy333

My idea for the backstory of the mc is that in the past she divided her life in two basically. On one side was the cold blooded assassin with a harem of mind controlled sex slaves and on the other side was the loving mother to two kids and a passionate partner to her wife. And the MC did this because she thought these two desires she had couldn't mix.

Bob is bob

Also, have you ever considered non smut fiction ideas?

Andy333

But then she started to love and care about these so called slaves and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't quite hide the darkness from her other life from infecting her perfect suburban home. Until she gets betrayed and the story starts.