Questionable Questing

House huntings been a pain in the ass, but we've found a couple that look really promising. Should know in the next week or two if we got them, fingers crossed. And my Aunt's feeling a lot better too, so that's awesome.

How was your day, and I gave the doc a read. I like that the summoning was butcher and touruting a dear and I like how seamless the explanation of the Wyld were. You made it make sense why the charcater who was heavily experience in this, would be thinking about the mechanics of it so it didn't feel out of place like a lot of other exposition dumps do.

The one big criticism I can think of, would be to make the wyld feel even more otherworldly. Maybe add a line about how all the noise drained away, or when the MC look's in his eyes he sees row of army's crashing into each other in a orgy of violence, or have the mc bite his tongue almost clean off. I guess what I'm saying is try to engage more of the MC sesnes to make the Wyld's power even more overwehlming.

What made the exposition dump natural? Good your aunt's feeling better and house hunting is starting to get good. I woke up at 10:40 something and had till 12:50 before walking to work. Covering a Monday shift so I only get Sunday off this weekend than this Monday work.

Well you tied the exposition dump with the characters fears. He's not thinking about the proccess of summoning a Wyld because he's providing context to the readers, he's pondering why something so powerful is so easy to summon and how desperate he is for that power that he's even considering it.

Basically, you tied the explanation in with the MC's emotions and that's why it feel so natural.

I got a second part https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I95K3UZd1Rb4HIRiv6_n3LWX8RzUAjqPRKt5SEfLbs8/edit?usp=drivesdk

I see, wove the exposition into the character's natural reaction.

I read the rest later, have a bit of a head ache tonight. Didn't sleep very good last night.

Ah, crap. You want to talk something of yours or something of mine

Let's hear what you've been working on.

Had this idea where a Wyld sorcresss is bound to a city while her son grows up there raised by her and his adopted dad figure, the ascendent warrior who captured and bound her while offering her shelter and our lad is carrying a wyld enchanted blade that would serve as a gateway to greater sorcery but keeps from going deeper as he wants to remain untethered to the violent powers of the Wyld he's seen warp his mother.

Our enchantress is loyal to the warrior who captured her but would fuck over the city for her ambitions if allowed

Why is she loyal to the warrior? Just years spent with each other slowly blossoming into a friendship or romance? Did they know each other before? Did she think she couldn't be a good parent because of her corruption and was glad the warrior stepped up to be a father for her son?

He invited her into the city when she needed protection and a place to be and has helped her survive its politics and over time they bonded. And no, she was from a different city and left because of a situation that ended up with her bound to the Wyld as she became a mage.

And she wanted to raise her kid in a city as she was raised as she still holds a pride in the city kingdoms even with her pursuit of the Wyld's primal chaotic magic

Cool, so I'm guessing there's a big divid between the more civilized city states and the wildlands outside of it that are still connected to wyld spirts?

The cities in general like to avoid reliance on Wyld spirit using sorcerers and have them chained or bound in some way, under oaths to make them serve the city while outside the Sorcerers rule and enthrall and wield their power over the elements and magic

So what's the big threat or enemy that justifys the MC making a deal with the war spirt and how exactly do these deals work anyway? Is it like the devil's from chainsawman where each wyld spirt has their own personality and goals so they each make their own personal deal with their summoner?