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He likes cooking. Not because of the taste but rather the repetition of the task. He's kind of selfish about people's times always wanting to do something and always asking regardless of how they're doing. Hate's being alone. Hate's not doing anything. Doesn't do well with everything being quiet. Has flashbacks to the lab when everythings quiet.
He likes the patterns in cooking and is greedy about time being used. He wants people to be focused on him even as he does stuff for them. He cares about other's needs but in such a way they are talking and around him. And cooking isn't about food to him so much as the routine of it.
Also likes the family aspect of it, of everyone sitting down and being the center of attention as he serves them. One of his biggest fantasies of his mom's kind of plays into that, it being the everyone in the house refusing to wear clothes and just continuing on as if nothing's changed. Not just the ability to freely look at them without shame, but also that they are completely comfortable in doing it.
That even if they're embarrassed they'll still do it because they know it makes him happy. It's the lack of shame that's important to him. Since a big part of his repressed fantasies is because of the shame and guilt that comes with them.
So in public life he avoids shame. He doesn't like being selfish but is extremely selfish inside and violent about his girls being touched or looked at by others?
That's the idea. Really plays with the idea of a public and private place and how much of the public mask is unknowingly leaking in and controlling everything about him.
I'll need to think about it. Who is Hari going to become in the end? Anyway i'm going to get some sleep. I hope I feel a little bit better tomorrow. Can't wait to read about the psionic crystals and vr femboy Idea your cooking up.
I had a pretty decent day too, although I smashed the nail on my thumb awhile back and it doesn't hurt, but I'm a little worried at how long it's taking for the nail to grow back. A good chunk of the pink part was torn off and I really hope it's not permanent.